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#they’re probably only doing this bc they know their workers can’t afford weed
thetwiceexceptional · 3 years
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how about you pay your workers you twat of corporation
// im not back yet i just hate corporations
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jeremyss · 3 years
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‷ watch out , jeremy washington has crash-landed into roswell !! they look twenty two years old and celebrate their birthday on march 25th . they are from roswell, reside in greystone complex and are currently working as a waiter (teal pumpkin cafe). one thing you should know about them is he's hoping to go professional with lacrosse ‷
* loud trumpet blare * d-d-d-d-d-j khaled! hiya its g again ! here is my dumbass thot jeremy washington !!!
straight cis 22 year old dumbass . he / him pronouns !
he literally has half a brain cell
he has the best heart though he’s genuinely so nice and well meaning .. he just doesn’t know what hes saying , ok .
his foot lives in his mouth i love that for him
was That guy in school who literally failed every class , knew nothing , had the attention span of a fish . . and he got by because he was so good at lacrosse . honestly , he probably would have dropped out of high school if he hadn’t had lacrosse
lacrosse was his one true love and passion in life . he went to college on a lacrosse scholarship and he was co-captain of the team . he’s still hoping to go professional with it 
was raised by a single mum and was the oldest and only boy. therefore he mcloves women!!! he respects them. he’s president of ‘we should all be feminists’ club
his goal in life is honestly just to take care of his mum and be able to afford to set her up somewhere really nice . his mum is his everything and has DONE everything for him so he truly loves her with everything he has and would do anything for her happiness
did i mention he has half a brain cell
won’t even notice if u insult him
so dumb, and such a dude bro
speaks in dude bro language
is goofy as hell
has half a brain cell
can’t do anything except play lacrosse and play it well
similar to early seasons scott mccall from teen wolf, jason from the good place, andy dywer from parks and rec and 
defs a party animal, defs gets down n diggity. drinks and smokes weed but also pretends his body is a temple and drinks kombucha.
the only thing he’d ever get upset / angry about is any comment about money or his family . he really doesn’t like people who are showy with their money or brag about it . that’s the one thing that REALLY gets under his skin . 
lowkey just wants to mclove and show he mccares…
he’d make a great boyfriend .. i’m just saying
if he’s ur server at teal pumpkin cafe then im so sorry but ur never getting ur food right . he is the worst worker in the world but bc he’s so SINCERELY NICE . . . nobody can really be mad at him . he’s just . . so dumb guys , honestly , really . such an idiot .  
some connections / plots i’m down diggity for
a wholesome bro squad. they’re all bros. they act very wholesome but dumb together. they’re trying their best.
a crush . please let jeremy be maximum goofy idiot himbo around u because he doesn’t know how to behave normally . 
an ex girlfriend that jeremy probably still is super into but knows he can’t have bc she’s too good for him
people who remind him of his younger sisters so he’s protective of them
drinking and partying buddies
somebody please tutor him or he’ll fail everything . either a past tutor or a current tutor , because lord knows he needs it !
he’s been born and raised in roswell so honestly , he probably knows u ! he’s very VERY social so maybe somebody that grew up with him ?? went to school together ? i love a long time friend !
any buddy from greystone , lets unite !!! 
literally anything u want im ur wh*re.
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sureivy · 4 years
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is that HALSEY? no, that’s just IVY CALDER. SHE is TWENTY-FOUR years old and is an EMPLOYEE AT DON’T FRET & PAWS 4 LOVE. rumor has it they’ve been in town for FOUR MONTHS / TEN YEARS. on a good day, they’re CREATIVE & VERSATILE. but watch out! they can also be IRRESPONSIBLE & VOLATILE. TRIGGER BANG BY LILY ALLEN (FT. GIGGS) plays in my head whenever i think of them. can’t wait to see them around springhill!
hello my pals ! i’m amy ( 20 // est // she/her ) and i am super excited to be here! we also over here bringing back a fairly old muse (i,, apparently,, play her during election years,,) with a couple of tweaks, so we love that for me! also! pls forgive me if this is lowkey disorganized, we’ve been in and out of airports all day! can’t wait to contract that sexy corona!
QUICK FACTS:
full name: ivy rose calder
date of birth: may 2, 1995
*does not perfectly reflect the below big three zodiac chart because that’s too much math
zodiac big three: taurus sun, pisces moon, aquarius rising
gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her
sexual orientation: bisexual ( preference for women bc we luv that for her but we also luv leaving things open to chemistry )
education: high school diploma
enneagram: 7w8?
mbti: enfp
moral alignment: chaotic neutral
positive traits: creative, versatile, passionate, compassionate
negative traits: irresponsible, volatile, impressionable, hedonistic
BACKGROUND INFO:
triggers: brief implied sexual abuse, suicide, a lot of death talk?, drug abuse ( desoxyn ), overdose
ivy lived the first eight years of her life in newark, nj. she had a mere family of three – her mother, a model-turned-stay-at-home-mom, her father, a politician, and herself. she was much closer to her mother, but she and her father were close at night.
when her mother finally found out about this, she wasted no time in taking ivy’s father’s side. what a good mom! instead, ya girl was already getting in touch with cps herself... but wow... it was gonna ruin his career in politics :\
“Now, one thing I lerned from Storys is, when something big is about to okur, a riter will go: Then it hapened! This tells the reeder: Get Reddy. Here I go: Then it hapened!” - fox 8
then it happened!
humiliated, clearly never getting a platform back, and absolutely bitter, ivy’s father killed himself before being sent to prison. 
Very Tragique™
ok. so. to distance themselves from the poor memories, but to save money, ivy and her mother moved to springhill, temporarily sharing ivy’s aunt’s apartment while her mother began collecting enough money to buy an apartment of their own and keep it.
during this time, ivy was seeing a lot of people and she didn’t know why! they asked questions about her mental health, but she didn’t know why! i mean, totally not traumatic, right?
yes. instead of managing communication well, she became very fascinated by the concept of death. she had many questions about it, she, a youth, had some extended conversations with clergymen about it –– she never killed any animals, god forbid, but she was absolutely fascinated when she ran across them.
SO CLEARLY THAT WAS ALSO TRYING TO BE DEALT WITH.
ok, i’m gonna skip ahead a little. now in teen years and still fascinated by death, but in a healthier way!, and no longer in therapy because... like... that costs a lot of money!
she dealt with it the best she could. became enamored with music... because why wouldn’t she? some covers here and there, some originals here and there, living that youtube lyf, but not expecting anything to come of it. just liked validation! mood!
she also dealt with it the worst she could! became enamored with drugs! naturally, it started out small. some weed, some lsd, some molly –– you know, just drugs that you don’t typically think of as addictive. although her grades suffered, it was harmless enough...
upon graduating high school, she figured... no college. instead, with barely any money to her name, she was like “i... will go to new york... and i will become famous.”
and she did! she did go to new york! she found a few sketchy places that didn’t charge much for a few nights as she began networking - both socially and “i would like to be known for music” (i literally just forgot the word for networking like..... employment wise.... y’all i’m so dumb). when she’d made some friends, she began crashing on couches that were not quite as sketchy! 
but :\ she did meet these friends in sketchy places :\ and they were like “ok here r some new and more addictive drugs for u to try!”
what she wound up abusing using the most was desoxyn. it kept her awake, it kept her focused, it even shed a few pounds to create an excellent figure! what wasn’t to love! 
i mean it’s literally a prescription methamphetamine,,, when abused,,, literally almost exact same effects as meth,,, but when meth mouth, skin lesions, acne, etc aren’t occurring as a side effect? who was she to care!
20, she released an actual ep with the help of a super cool friend who made everyone call him puppy mills! wow! things were excellent! it wasn’t necessarily seeing mainstream traction, but there was a decent enough following! enough to release an album at 22!
perfect timing, btw! desoxyn was starting to become too expensive for puppy to afford and trying to fake having such a severe form of adhd that desoxyn would be prescribed as opposed to something like ritalin or adderal when it’s literally illegal to prescribe in some countries now?? too hard :\ but the money from the album helped her and puppy!
*olaf vc* puppy died. *end vc*
she was there for it too. she thought it was just a freak-out, took a LITTLE too much, but not OVERDOSE worthy... then he l i t e r a l l y died. and it was a painful death!
“oh wow! maybe prescription meth isn’t super cool after all! shucks!” but that was also an opening?? to visit death herself?? like... she didn’t necessarily want to die (sort of), but she wanted... an answer to the question that had plagued her her entire life... so she was like “ok hope i die then someone revives me but if i die then :\ i guess i die!”
did not die. but also did not get a satisfying answer to her question. the only way it would’ve been truly satisfying? if she had been dead for longer than a minute - then it would’ve given a definite answer! because the answer she received was just nothingness which, while peaceful... is it true?
she tried to detox alone, what because rehab is a business, and it... only... sort of worked. she would be clean for a few weeks, then fall back in, then clean for a few weeks, then fall back in. whenever she wasn’t just naturally focused and awake, or whenever what she was focused on was the past, she would fall back in.
i mean, a side effect is memory loss, so win/win!
she made the semi-wise decision to move back to springhill. wisest would’ve been to just move to a town/city she had absolutely no memories in, but better than moving back to newark!
so... without much to show, and with an unreliable streak, she knew she wouldn’t be able to start looking for much of an occupation – but she still needed money! so she began working at don’t fret out of a love for music, then began working at the animal shelter after completing training.
the main training was, of course, for putting animals to sleep.
FULL CIRCLE.
ah yes. how she pretends it’s healthy... even tho there are studies and statistics relating suicide to veterinarians and shelter workers who euthanize animals... ah yes.
has been back for four months now. love that. do not know how to finish this.
TL ; DR:
born in newark. moved to springhill at 8. childhood trauma that she is still carrying causes fascination with death. “i love music.” moved to ny at 18 because realistic. childhood trauma also causes dependency on desoxyn. releases an ep and an album. does not become famous, but they both have decent traction. moves back after an overdose. relapses... often. now sells records and puts animals to sleep. miss american dream since she was 17, amirite?
PERSONALITY / MISCELLANEOUS INFO:
one person one week, a totally different person the next.
wants to please people, but also wants to be her own person? it’s a whole deal!
in spite of her slight icarian incident, she still hopes to maybe one day become a real musician and performer. until then, we selling records and saying ‘goodbye’ to sweet animals!
can truly flip like a switch in interactions! does love ruining things for herself! almost always feels bad after bc :\ damn :\ alright :\
i’m very bad at these sections i really hate that i always include them!
is still avoiding healthy coping mechanisms. love that for her.
favorite movie is, unironically, the bee movie. favorite horror movie is cats.
SO GOOD at memorizing random lines or trivia. could probably recite literally all of who’s afraid of virginia woolf? other than that?? her memory is so bad. hate drugs for that :\
she uses her hair to express herself! (that sounds really boring.) ...she uses her hair to express herself!
but no. seriously. wears the black shag weave the most, followed by the blue/yellow combo ( we stan the badlands aesthetic ). occasionally forays into other colors and styles when money permits, but it’s usually gonna be one of those two!!
was an envy on the coast stan in high school which makes an inappropriate amount of sense.
will go out and steal the dumbest shit when she’s drunk. has a history of stealing chickens.
once again: hate that i always include these!! feel free 2 j consult the personality parts in the quick facts!!
CONNECTION IDEAS:
ok we gonna list some general ones for right now! all are open to multiple people unless there’s an asterisk by it!
close friends –– moonie, teagan,
ride or die
childhood friends –– moonie,
bad influence ( mutual or her on them ) –– veronica ( mutual ),
good influence ( them on her ) –– presley, hayden, gabrielle,
exes ( can be from high school or something like that if based in springhill, can be from 20s in new york if based in new york )
fwb –– trent,
will they, won’t they –– presley,
someone who knew her music ( can be neutral, a fan of it, or hate it afhkjsl ) –– presley, moonie, teagan, indiana, 
will also possibly be sending in some wanted connections for things that are! more specific!
truly anything!! also up to brainstorm and/or look at yours if you have them!!
UPDATE: i have created a wc page so we luv that for me.
OK. like this or hmu if you’d like to plot!
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