#this is why i failed my maths

[witchofthemidlands]

Me watching Midnight for the first time aged 8:

Me watching Wild Blue Yonder for the first time aged 24:

#apart from the last five minutes of course 🥹 #the second i saw him i started sobbing #fourtenth doctor #fourteenth doctor #donna noble #midnight #wild blue yonder #doctor who #whoniverse #dw spoilers #i got the number wrong i was eight i cant see the right numbers for the life of me #this is why i failed my maths

[smokin9-box]

Yasss finally finished this, can you believe it? Took me the entire week but hey.

And was the first time drawing jax so that was fun

Tho I wasn't sure how to finish it

#tadc #the amazing digital circus #jax tadc #tadc fanart #tadc ragatha #pomni tadc #tadc jax #tadc pomni #ragatha tadc #pomni x ragatha #ragatha x pomni #ragapom #jesterdoll #buttonblossom #why does this ship have so many names? #i might have failed my math test cauz of them #i know jax skin is probably rubber #idc #its almost as if its FANART #were fans can draw THEIR depiction of the character

[hella1975]

NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT ⁉️🔊🎤🔥

#ITS SO OVER IM SO FINISHED 😭 I feasibly don’t see how I can pass this exam it’s all going out my head the moment I read it #im done im SO done I just want it to be OVER #THIS IS WHY I ALWAYS FAIL MACRO I DONT HAVE THE STAMINA FOR IT AND I GIVE UP BY THE TIME THE LAST EXAM ROLLS AROUND #AND THE LAST EXAM IS ALWAYS. FUCKING. MACRO #AND FOR WHAT. FOR WHATTTT #im a good person I don’t deserve this. maybe the tiktok feminists are right maybe we should kick women out of finance #g… girl math haha! girl fail girl drop out girl unemployed in my girl hometown! #hella goes to uni

[asteralien]

richard's relationship with money is so interesting to me despite/because of how vague and nonspecific it is in canon. which only makes sense because the show isn't interested in richard's backstory at ALL and, it being an audio medium, it can't exactly give many context clues like wardrobe/style or what his apartment/house looks like. but it's like......... he doesn't have interests, he dabbles in money-making activities. i am practically forced to assume that his mention of being good at pool also = a side hustle. his estranged dad up and left him a house and a paid ride to college. at this point he's way better off than he's ever been -- after 18 years of living with two separate conmen and a mother who doesn't care about him in mediocre apartments, he's suddenly on his own with his future out in front of him, and....... he STILL takes very risky grade-changing jobs for money? like he bypasses getting a regular college job and goes straight to petty crime? and apparently "far worse" crimes??? it's such an interesting balance between craving the security of Having Money and being pathologically unable to get it in a "normal" "safe" way. he doesn't even do anything with it in canon, he just GETS it. he isn't even buying lucy's drinks himself!!!! obviously even richard has bills to pay (which is. very funny to me. sorry that i think 19-year-old college era richard is the funniest person to ever exist, gremlin who's only ever lived in an apartment with his mother, sister, and mother's rotating cast of boyfriends, suddenly has a whole ass house dumped in his lap on his 18th birthday in exchange for his whole ass father's wholesale abandonment of him, has to figure out how to pay utility bills on his own, maybe thinks about getting a barista job or whatever kids did in the 80s, record shop clerk job?? and then nopes past it and picks "exploiting a child genius" as a career path instead. what a fucking legend. i also think he murdered people for money a couple times but that's just me) sorry i've lost the plot of this post thinking about campbell county community college computers richard. imagine being the people at the 5 Cs in charge of hiring STUDENT COUNSELORS and seeing richard maxwell strut into his interview and thinking "yes this 18-year-old suspiciously home-owning kid who talks like a john hughes movie antagonist and is currently his kid sister's very much illegal guardian is the perfect fit for our emotionally and socially fragile 11-year-old resident genius. what could go wrong" and then they have to pay for nicholas adamsworth's therapy sessions for the next 5 years because richard maxwell was what could go wrong. fuck. "waylaid in the windy city" maybe be my personal favorite richard but pre- and mid-"eugene's dilemma" richard is definitely the weirdest and funniest

#richard maxwell #aio #richard goes home deliriously exhausted from his college classes and 14 illegal side hustles and has to help rachael with her math homework #'why does he talk Like That' because it was the 80s and he's a single father next question #no wonder he genuinely likes lucy she's a Good Kid who doesn't need him she just likes him #despite everything that's probably the most straightforward relationship he has #unfortunately on lucy's end she also requires several years of therapy after her category 5 richard maxwell moment #like EVERYTHING about eugene's dilemma richard makes simultaneously more and less sense #when you realize that he's got the background radiation of 'my estranged mom showed up out of the blue to make me take care of her/my siste #'and then she left me alone with my sister and no way to contact her if i needed help' #'and then my sister got taken away from me because she got busted for shoplifting several times in a row so now i'm alone again' #'i canonically hate myself for failing her this way' #'also someone almost kidnapped me in a creeper van the other day' #the fact that fotf created the Most Character of All Time without meaning to or realizing is so fucking infuriating to me #at the very least richard maxwell should have been a supernatural character. he could have shone there. #instead. here we are.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#love that my body decided to incapacitate me the weekend before i have to read 5 different papers for classes #and it would b one thing to just read them but no for 3 of them i have to give detailed interpretation and 1 i have to present on #ive already failed to read one bc i forgot we had to do 2 papers for monday. oops. not that i could have done it anyway. i barely got 1 done #and im on track to fucking up the one due Tomorrow as well #im just fucking tired of reading fucking chemistry driven papers that i dont understand no matter how many times i read them #and everyones like oh itll get easier but no it fucking wont bc i cant fucking read right #its so fucking frustrating. why do i even bother? im so tried #i don't even have the paper im supposed to present on so ill have to do it all tomorrow. cool. great. not that i could do it today anyway #im just. this is gonna b a difficult week #and i misused my whole day by doing extractions bc i scheduled my training a week ago when i thought i would b fine over the weekend #nope. its fucking bullshit. this is y im like. y do i even want to b in academia? #how could i b a prof if i cant read well? its fine to b dyslexic as a math person but im like i have to read so much and so little gets thru #but then what the fuck else am i supposed to do? idk. im just gonna write down something for all these questions and go tf to sleep #ill get up at some horrible time in the morning to finish this. damn the consequences. ill see my therapist tomorrow anyway #and meet with my advisor like 🤪 yo guess what i made zero progress this week #sorry u got stuck with me while im going thru a year of fucking health problems #but whatever cant get rid of me now im already here. here and tired and i wanna go to bed #unrelated

[sp00ky-scary]

not a burnt out gifted kid or a regular student but a secret third thing (really fucking stupid)

#i got at least 1 A on every single report since grade 5 #so thats what 14 reports #i averaged like Bs for most stuff #so obviously thats like good #however in retrospect i did not and still dont understand the majority of things we got taught i winged everything #ngl i think its just because of how much school stuff is more based on memory #so you cram study something pass the test or whatever #and then immediately forget it #also ngl my not understanding anything is probably why i almost failed maths last year because it was built on stuff from past years #i dont think the reading fanfics through most lessons and occasionally showing up a bit high helped though #i passed everything this year though and now i never have to do anything again #jk im doing uni next year #hopefully a fine arts degree though #correction i meant grade 3 #also in retrospect wild that literal children are being graded like that #especially since parents (mine included) would/will punish like actual children for getting just a pass and being where they should be

[spaghett-onaplate]

tonight's game is: am i a terrible person and not feeling any emotion or am i just deeply suppressing my feelings

#god. this is not fun #two of my friends attempted suicide but thankfully failed within the past 2 weeks #and i'm finally beginning to Think about it. but why hadn't i thought about it before?? #but also there is no time to think about it i have maths homework and it's 8pm #shit man #and also this isn't even about me or my feelings #how am i feeling so little. am i that cruel and uncaring #ok no time to unpack this today. tomorrow after school i have counselling for the first time in a while hopefully then i can. yeah #fuck i feel helpless and selfish

[sketchy-scribs-n-doods]

thinking about how someone tried to insist to me that hellcheer was 'gross and pedophilic' because they had 'a huge age gap' and i thought it was the stupidest shit i'd ever heard so-

in true Extra Ass Bitch fashion i calculated roughly what the oldest/ youngest possible ages chrissy could be and the oldest/youngest possible ages eddie could be based on canon evidence (eddie's 2 failed years, chrissy's '86 necklace, etc.) and approximate school cut off dates

anyway, this is a rough approximation (not that it particularly matters because they're both still in the same age range/stage of life so a few years isn't rly much of an issue given their canon interactions) but if anyone was curious:

eddie should have been born in '65 or '66. backwards calculation places chrissy either late '67 or early '68. eddie failed his senior year twice and was supposed to have graduated in '84, he's on his third try. chrissy is head cheerleader and wears an '86 necklace, she's a senior in '86.

the youngest Chrissy could be is about [17yrs + 7 months] assuming a birthday around August of '68

the oldest Chrissy could be is about [18yrs + 6 months] assuming a birthday of around September of '67

the youngest Eddie could be is about [19yrs + 7 months] assuming a birthday around August of '66

the oldest Eddie could be is about [20yrs + 6 months] assuming a birthday in September of '65

even in the 'worst case scenario' where eddie is the oldest he could be and chrissy is the youngest she could be, eddie is 20 and chrissy almost 18

if you go with the opposite, with chrissy being as old as possible and eddie as young as possible, then eddie is almost 20 and chrissy is over 18

the other combinations average out to a 2 year age gap, which for the record, for high schoolers is still incredibly common. again, this is a stupid argument, but i can be spitefully pedantic sometimes and i enjoy having all the possible information i can before i talk shit

and i love to talk shit. so i went to go get the data myself

anyway grace van dien once said that she thinks chrissy is a pisces and i trust her so assuming that's true then chrissy was born sometime between mid february to mid march of '66, meaning chrissy would haven just turned 18 as s4 began, while eddie is still in the 19 to 20 range depending on when you place his birthday

but all of this seems ridiculous when you realize that based on what school year they're in during s4, chrissy was a sophomore the first time eddie was a senior. so like. everything else is just being pedantic for the sake of finding smth to be mad about

either way i rest my case this is a dumb argument to use against the ship, hellcheer haters get bent just say you don't ship it and go

#hellcheers i have never gone to bat so hard for a straight ship in my life #theyre so cute together and haters picked THE stupidest thing to argue against it #when i tell u i have seen actual ppl on twitter try and say chrissy is 16 and eddie is 21 or smth 💀💀 #like. where are u receiving this information. where tf did that come from. #hellcheer #how tf do i tag this. thank god this isnt twitter lol #chrissy cunnigham is not out here getting 'groomed' by eddie wtf abuse is not 100% contingent on age gaps its about power dynamics + #+ patterns of behvaior and if you calculate what school year they'd each be in during a given year #chrissy was a sophmore when eddie failed his first senior year #i cannot stress how normal that is. i have know seniors that dated sophmores. that are married now. its a 2 to 3 year gap. cmon. #eddie munson my beloved. you do not deserve this. #chrissy cunningham mi amor you definitely do not deserve this #if anyone wants the actual fuckin chart i made to figure this out feel free to ask and i'll drop it lol #i got pics of me trying to Do Math #like if u dont ship it bc you hc eddie as gay and chrissy as a comphet lesbian and you think they'd be wlw mlm besties then just say that #if you just dont see the chemistry like. alright. just say that. #why ppl inventing the wildest reasons to justify not liking a ship asjkdllg

[proxyma]

AAHHHHHHH WHY DO SO MANY THINGS HAVE TO BE SO CLOSE TOGETHER

#holi #uceed #maths board #all these so close to each other what am i meant to do #like sure i aint gonna play holi but my neighbourhood is whos gonna stop them from blasting loud music as they are so prepared and planning #like what am i meant to do i am so not looking forward to uceed result date #like why couldnt mumma keep her mouth shut why why now other aunties are gonna ask about it and i will have failed it cause my drawing wasn #good enough to get the minimum required marks oh man #okay maybe maybe im overthinking just a little teensy tiny bit #maybe i should take a chill pill and start stressing about the CHEMISTRY EXAM ON HAND HELLO PROXY YOU ONLY HAVE 2 DAYS

[widevibratobitch]

.

#im so tired of this lalalalalalalalaa #something is Wrong lol #i really need this therapy on wednesday but guess WHAT im not going. im going to a funeral instead 🤡 #and ill be singing in that stupid fucking church because have to but i dont fucking wanna i hate doing it and i hate churches #all i feel rn is the overwhelming urge to selfdestruct and like obv im not gonna kms now #but im so fucking angry that im not even *allowed* to do that anymore. like it was such a comfort all this time to know that i can just Quit #and now i cant because guess what someone has to take care of my mother 🫠 and im so fucking tired of being someone people depend on #to handle THEIR feelings and THEIR emotions and just take it all with humility and acceptance and kindness and never snap and bite back #like i dont WANNA hear about your dead husband i dont wanna hear about your stupid fucking boyfriend #i dont wanna hear about the new guy/girl who's hitting on you because you're so hot and perfect #i dont wanna be responsible for how people feel. i should just shut up and take it and be humble and never ask or expect anything back #but when is it MY turn to call at 1 am crying about how im tired and want to kms #or to start expecting shit of people and allow myself to get properly angry at them for not meeting those expectations #or to braggingly 'complain' about something the other person clearly lacks without any consideration for their feelings #or to just openly cry and say deeply personal shit without any filter not caring if that other person is clearly uncomfortable af #because *i* need it right now and i need someone to listen and let them worry about how to even respond to that stuff #im just so tired of people expecting shit of me im tired of being made responsible even tho i clearly cannot handle that responsibility #i wanna be mean i wanna snap and get angry and openly say that i dont give a shit and am tired and cant listen to this rn #but i cant because i have to be a motherfucking mother theresa and never dare to demand something for myself #and idk where that comes from. idk if it's coming from the fanatic catholicism of my childhood or my mother or just from myself and idc #i just feel so horrible and guilty and wrong for wanting anything for myself #and it once again feels like im making myself the victim and the tortured martyr here when i should just shut up and take it #i just wanna lie down and die and not care about who'll get angry or judge or blame me for it im tired and i dont know what to do #i want someone to take care of ME and reassure ME and make ME feel like i matter and that they really will help me if i ever need it #and that they'd be kinda sad if i were gone not because i had a role to fulfill that i failed at by killing myself but because i am a person #<- math calculations flying around my head as i come to the terrible realisation #of just why exactly im so deeply obsessed with my voice teacher (aside from her being literally the most beautiful woman alive lol) 🤡 #like babygirl stop being so utterly overwhelmingly kind to me my knees are weak i would do anything for you queen and I MEAN IT

[graveyard-cowboy]

Shoutout to insurance for being like “oh? The warranty on you Important Medical Device is up? Well sweaty it’s not broken in any way come back when your Electronic Organ starts failing❤️” like GIRL PLEASE

#yeah there ARE backups for if something suddenly goes wrong with my pump but why should I have to WAIT for something to happen to my ORGAN #for y’all to approve a replacement? #people talk about mobility aids being extensions of their body and I need people to realize things like insulin pumps are too #because for all intents and purposes this is my organ #not to mention that if it suddenly failed I’d have to learn how to function on shots for who knows how long #WHICH IS DIFFERENT THAN FUCTIONING WITH A PUMP #THEY ARE DIFFERENT #THERES MATH AND SHIT INVOLVED WITH THIS #I HAVENT BEEN ON SHOTS SINCE I WAS A LITTLE LITTLE KID #yippee yay for American insurance and shit #anyways-

[ra-vio]

Art summaries by month are hard for me because I tend to do most my drawing in one month as opposed to around the year

#art summary #oops I forgot to draw in December. a lot has happened #i had finals so i was stressing over that and a day before my first final i had a death in the family #so i had to go in the next day after that lmao. I don’t know if it affected me much but #I recently told my friend about it and about another incident that happened in july and I got choked up about it. #but i hadnt talked to him since February so maybe i was just happy to talk to him #anyway i failed that final. it was so fucking funny. i failed another final because I missed some important test material #so it was just two hours of me going what the fuck I didn’t study for this??? #in a crazy turn of events I got 100% on my discrete math final #absolutely fucking incredible. i failed 4 quizzes because i was playing re4 and i aced the final #THE MATH FINAL. FOR THE MATH CLASS IVE BEEN CRYING ABOUT FOR 4 YEARS #anyways i started playing monhun world and totk again and i decided to plat re4 on the ps4 #thats why i haven’t been drawing ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[wriochilde]

gang i got my math midterm marks back and i failed that shit 😭

#i expected this so im not panicking too bad but. it fucked up my percent a bit #im at a 70 right now so its okay? i guess? ive never failed an exam before so thats probably why i feel so ashamed but whatever #math has never been my strongest subject and i know ill pass everything else #finn.txt

[yourlocalsonia2]

Tbh I would have such a better time in school if I wasn't forced to take a spanish class that erased my study period (i used to be a A's and B student but now I have 3 c's, 2 b's and only 1 A)

#(Says a half Mexican person) #And my dad wonders why take a long time getting homework done #IT'S BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE TIME TO DO IT AT SCHOOL #SURE IT COULD HELP IN THE FUTURE BUT LET ME DO SOMETHING I WANT AND I COULD TAKE CLASSES ONLINE OR SOME SHIT #AND IF I TRY TO TELL HIM WHY I DON'T WANT TO TAKE IT HE'S LIKE “but it's part of your heritage” YES I KNOW #school is just stressing me the fuck out since i started to fail math (I'm not anymore tho. I have a c-) #sonia talks #Family shit

[biohazard2017]

the academic stress really is kicking in but for the wrong things 😭

#idek if i passed h2 math literally why am i thinking abt h3 lit now.... #the requirements are literally a B for everyth btw . ofc got case by case but #case by case is like u get a high C. not Fail. so LOL #but also like is it rly my fault.. if only 1 in 3 ppl passed the paper 😭😭😭😭like fuck the math dept LOLOL #i wanted h3 bio but my sch doesnt offer so now i want h3 lit but IDKKKKKK its so unrelated to med HAHSKAHDAK #whatever. i will get my math ppr back tmr and just. die. idk #nitzie.txt

[anghraine]

There is basically no way to talk about this without humblebragging and also giving way to, idk, internalized ableism or wtfever, but:

Grad school is sometimes incredibly frustrating, on top of the other reason it's incredibly frustrating, because people will be like "Elizabeth's mind is very bright and analytical," and that is nice, and there's nothing about having a mental disorder or three that contradicts it, BUT

One of the things about autism for me—a way in which it feels distinct from my mood disorders—is that some parts of my ways of understanding and experiencing the world just don't work. I realize this description sounds accurate enough for mood disorders as well, but it's difficult to articulate what I'm actually trying to get at that feels fundamentally different. It does, though.

Being bipolar frequently sucks and frequently sucks more than autism, because depression is terrible and I have a history of very severe depression. Nevertheless, being bipolar isn't, at the core, what makes me literally unable to do most math or drive or otherwise multi-task, and it's not what makes keeping track of things like scheduling or simply where things are spatially so difficult, and it doesn't have that much effect on hand-eye coordination and balance and things like that except in conjunction with the autism.

And then there's the sensory overload, which triggers super easily and is... worse when I'm depressed but very obviously rooted in my visceral and almost inexpressible loathing of most sensation and eye contact.

Now, I wouldn't (and couldn't) excise my autism if I had the choice, because there's no ... separate non-autistic self, it's not a layer of apathy or terror or something, it's all me. And yeah, I know we're "supposed" to conceptualize this stuff as "works differently," or these things aren't accommodated properly, or whatnot, and I understand why. But some days it just feels like some parts of my brain are fine and then large swaths don't work right, and people don't really get what it feels like to be getting a PhD and surrounded by people telling me how bright I am, but also to be unable to calculate tips or develop my ideas at the speed that everyone else is doing or write within the usual time limits or line up tasks in a practical way.

It also feels like there's no way to talk to people IRL about the massive chasm between the things I do really well and the simultaneous sense of having blank spots in my brain. My diagnosis even talks about this—not my towering frustration, lol, but that I have advanced reasoning skills that can obscure the extent of my disability in other areas.

So one moment I'm teaching Classical rhetoric to college students and the next I'm blankly staring at a division problem or struggling to manage basic scheduling, and it feels ridiculous and embarrassing. But I can't tell the authorities in my life that—I can get accommodations, but they don't get how intensely uncomfortable it is to have people constantly assuming I can easily do things that either a) I can't or b) are very difficult because I'm "bright" and... blah.

(Making this unrebloggable for hopefully obvious reasons. I mostly needed to vent.)

#anghraine whines #full-on whining but ... people sometimes talk like autistic people who are doing things like grad school are the enemy #who don't get Real Autism #and they genuinely don't seem to grasp what it's like to go through the world with these massive gaps in ability #like ... i've seen my grade school test scores and my placement was '1st grade math 11th grade english' in 2nd grade #and nobody responded in any way to the gap through the entirety of k-12 or most of college. i just kept failing remedial math. #but i've often felt literally insane (esp bc it took so long to detect and i didn't know why things Didn't Work) #'it's not that it doesn't work but that it works differently and-' please stop talking #i know that feels true for some people #it doesn't for me and it's very tiring to always have to deal with #anghraine rants #rare breed of attack unicorn #ivory tower blogging #long post