#this was not intended as a shippy piece but go ahead

[pangolinheart]

FFXIVWrite 2023 DAY 26 - LAST

(I realized that despite having written several shippy pieces, I hadn't actually written a kiss scene with Rhiki. So, I had to fix that : 3.)

Rating: Teen Genre: Angst Characters: Sidurgu Orl, Rielle de Caulignont, Warrior of Light (Z'rhiki Irhi) Relationships: Sidurgu Orl/Warrior of Light Word Count: 1,248 Content Warnings: Implied Character Death

Dammit! He hoped he had been imagining it but no, the clambering behind them was definitely getting louder. They were catching up.

Fury’s flaming-

Searing pain arced up his side and he stumbled, clutching at the fresh wound just above his waist. Warm blood seeped through his broken mail and between the fingers of his gloves. Not good. He gritted his teeth against the pain. It was bad, but not the worst he’d ever felt. Not fatal. That wasn’t going to matter in a few minutes, though.

‘Stupid! Reckless!’ He could almost hear Fray saying in the back of his mind.

“Sid!” Rielle called from a few steps ahead. Rhiki had stopped as well. No! We need to be moving faster, dammit!

He glanced around them. The corridor had narrowed into something of a bottleneck. Good. He could work with that.

“Here, let me,” Rielle started, taking a step back in his direction, but he shook his head.

“I’m fine,” He growled, which they all knew was a lie. But they all also knew that Rielle had run out of mana ages ago, before they had made a break for the exit.

The cacophony behind them grew louder.

Shite.

He already knew what he was going to have to do. The hard part was telling them.

“You two keep going,” he panted. He could taste blood on the back of his tongue. He must have taken more of a beating than he’d thought. “I’ll catch up!”

“What?!” Rielle demanded, but past her, Rhiki shook her head.

“It won’t matter. We’re not going to make it. You’re not slowing us down that much,”

Fury take her, of course she wasn’t going to let them do this the easy way. The easier way, anyway. There were times when he admired her stubbornness and complete lack of sense, but this wasn’t one of them. Of course she was going to insist on picking one last fight with him.

“You will if I keep them busy.” He replied simply, his other hand tightening around the grip of his sword.

Rhiki’s eyes widened in panic as she realized what he intended to do. He tried to tell her with his own how sorry he was.

“No! No no no! Sid, no!” Fear sharpened each word. She was afraid because she knew he was right.

Rielle looked between the two of them anxiously. “What are you-“ She was a smart kid. It didn’t take her long to figure out, either. “Sid we’re not leaving you here!”

“Yes, you are!” The words hissed through his teeth as the hand that had been gripping his side reached for the wall to steady him. He looked to Rhiki pleadingly, but she was shaking her head again.

“Rielle’s right! You know I hate noble sacrifices!”

He cursed under his breath. “It’s not nobility! It’s practicality!” When he raised his voice he could hear the pain seeping in around its edges. Their pursuers were drawing ever closer, and urgency bled into his frustration. “We don’t have time for this!”

Rielle had opened her mouth to protest again, but he ignored her and looked at Rhiki. She could deny it all she liked, somewhere in her mind she knew he was right. He could see it written on her face. And every second they spent standing there was a second that they were losing in their escape. “Rhiki, please!” He supposed there was no point in sparing his dignity now. He’d beg if it would make her move. “One of us can die here, or all of us can! Take Rielle and go!”

She was frozen, staring at him. He wished she wouldn’t look at him like that. He didn’t want to do this to her. To either of them. He knew all too well the sort of pain he was about to inflict. But if it meant they would both make it out of here alive, he would force himself not to care.

Rhiki was moving back towards him, reaching for her sword. “Fine! Then I’ll stay and hold them off!” She sounded desperate. This close, he could hear the way the distress made her voice hitch, and see the way her other fist shook from how tightly she was clenching it. He caught her raised arm by the wrist and yanked it to turn her towards him so he could look her in the eye. So she could see his own desperation.

“Don’t be stupid!” He snapped.

“Rielle needs you!” She argued, the first traces of tears glinting in the corners of her eyes.

“She needs you too!” Gods be damned! This was taking too long. “The whole world needs you! You’re the bloody Warrior of Light! You have millions of people relying on you to clean this mess up! You have a duty! And I-“ He realized he had been shouting when he heard his own voice crack. His next words were softer, but no less forceful. “All I have is the two of you! You two are the last things in my life worth a damn, and I’m not going to lose you too! I can’t!”

Her tears were falling now, and the sight was more painful than the grievous wound in his side. “Sid, I-“ Whatever she was going to say, he couldn’t listen to it. It would break him. This had already taken longer than it should have. Instead, he used his grip on her to wrench her up towards him and bent down to catch her lips in one last kiss. To shut her up, to comfort her, to tell her all of the things he didn’t have time to say. A silent I love you; the one that he didn’t have the strength to give voice to. It was the first time he’d found the strength to admit it to himself. As they kissed he could taste tears on her lips and hoped to the Fury they were hers.

Before he could risk becoming lost in the kiss, he shoved her away. “Take Rielle and GO!” He ordered.

She looked at him for a moment longer, but he wouldn’t meet her gaze. He knew that she wanted to argue, that she wanted to scream at him, but he also knew that she cared about Rielle as much as he did, and that she wouldn’t let her anger at him be the death of her. He sent wordless thanks to whatever gods might be listening when she turned and grabbed Rielle by the arm.

Sorry, Rhiki. She’d probably never forgive him for this, but he couldn’t help himself. He was selfish. He didn’t want to be the one left behind again.

“Sid NO!” Rielle, who had been stunned into silence by the kiss, had found her voice again, and he winced. He hoped she knew he was sorry. He was sure Rhiki would tell her. He heard her struggling against the woman’s grip, heard her yelling his name, but he had turned to face the coming onslaught. He was going to need to drag this out as long as he could. If he had to, he could always trip the old failsafe, he thought – the same one Fray had used in his own final battle, or so he had heard. A few extra seconds, paid for in blood.

Rielle’s voice was growing fainter, and he smiled bitterly through the tears he could finally allow himself to shed.

He was so, so sorry.

#ffxivwrite #ffxivwrite2023 #ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #sidurgu orl #rielle de caulignont #sidurgu orl x warrior of light #SidWoL #WoLSid #rhiki tag #auggie writes #listen #i saw this prompt and immediately chose violence #i can't help myself #i crave blood #things have gotten a little too fluffy around here

[laufire]

Black Sails s3

This one took me longer because RL got in the way LOL. I’ve loved it as much as the other two (even if I am IN PAIN over you-know-who’s death DD:). I don’t know when I’ll have the time to finish the last season, but I wanted to post about this one before starting it; otherwise it’d accumulate with the 10+ and counting metas I want to write about this show once I have the full picture LMAO.

Max

As always, I have to start with her because she’s THE FUCKING BEST. This woman is currently competing for the number one spot among fictional characters in my heart LOL (I mean. I have loved Caroline Forbes --who I actually think Max has a lot in common with lmao. Everything I love is the same, as I always say-- for too many years for her to ever be truly dethroned; unless something goes really wrong with Legacies I guess. However, it’s still remarkable that a character could make me doubt).

I’ve absolutely adored her plot this season; watching her growing sphere of influence, the way she affects and upends others’ lives. That’s very much being present since season one, especially with her and Silver in tandem (I have a lot of Thoughts(TM) about those too as a driving/disruptive force in the show --they’ll go to one of those metas--; I’m put off by the fact that I didn’t get to enjoy them conspiring together this season lol. Though her reaction to the fake Long John Silver letter was kind of hilarious xDD. Still. I kind of wish we’d seen the scene where Silver tells her he renounces to his part of the price. It could’ve been very interesting --I guess he could’ve told Jack but that wouldn’t’ve been as good, so this is my headcanon).

The most obvious storyline where this manifest is in her relationship with Anne and Jack. I love everything about it, but well. I have to admit, the ~betrayal/different sides element appeals to me xD. I like that Max prioritices herself and her safety. That she sees the writing on the wall with the English invasion or with Vane’s execution and acts accordingly, the way she calculates her decisions and forms alliances without letting past grievances get in the way --with Eleanor, Rogers, Mrs. Mapleton...--, the choices she makes because she doesn’t want to be “on the outside looking in” ever again and how they always end reverting in her benefit, ultimately (I’m getting ahead because I am spoiled of quite a few things about s4, but I LOVE that eventually she mends her relationship with Anne and Jack. Because it fits into this: how even the possible mistakes and emotional compromises she makes are within a very specific frame that works out for her in the end).

Her relationship with Anne gets even better this season. I think my favourite scene is where Max tells Anne that she nows Anne “cannot fathom leaving me”. Can I get this woman’s confidence LMFAO. But seriously. I luff them. I love how Max convinces Jack of going along her plan to replace the gold with good easier to transport (and how THAT ends up being Flint’s treasure asdñlfkasfj. MY GIRL DIRECTLY CAUSED THE EVENTS IN TREASURE ISLAND OKAY) by appealing to their mutual love for Anne. That she trusts Anne with the story about her father. That she knows just as well as Jack that Anne wouldn’t give up the treasure so easily and she’ll try to save him (and that Anne won’t stomach the thought of Jack being tortured because she couldn’t bear MAX’S torture. My heart).

Another highlight of the season for me was her relationship with Eleanor, which keeps being a huge surprise no matter what xDD (even if, again, never in a shippy way. I’m very glad the season doesn’t go there). I love the reversal of expectation in a general fandom landscape: how ultimately, Eleanor doesn’t have an emotional hold over Max (and that she lost it as early as 1x02, IMO. I’m not saying “Max doesn’t feel anything about Eleanor”, but the truth of the matter is, narratively Eleanor serves Max, not the other way around. And I’m happy and relieved about it, ngl), and that the same isn’t true the other way around. I thought two very telling scenes where a.) Max hosting parody trials of Eleanor that paint her under a completely undignified light, but clearly deriving no pleasure from it: it simply was yet another thing she does for practically, level-headed political reasons; and b.) that Eleanor orders Rogers’ men not to hurt Anne in the exchange because Max’s love for Anne.

Continuing down with Max’s relationships, I’ve grown to really like hers with Idelle. I think Max find Idelle fun, likeable, uncomplicated (the scene where Featherstone tells Idelle he hopes his pardon doesn’t diminish her attraction to her was hilarious and clearly the moment Max was enjoying herself the most in the whole season lmfao. BTW, I kinda liked Idelle/Featherstone since the moment he told Jack he wasn’t concerned because “he was in love with a good woman” and Jack was like “Idelle??”. Yes, it’s fun because client-falling-for-sex-worker is a pitiful cliché, but here’s the thing: he’s right xD. He didn’t say “I’m in love with a woman who loves me”. He said he was in love with someone GOOD and Idelle IS a good woman, dammit xDD).

Max doesn’t concern herself much with the idea of Idelle going behind her back because Idelle loves her, respects her, and is a loyal friend (and yet clearly sees Max exactly as she is and doesn’t have any delusions about it. Luckily for her Max is probably the type to feel angry but not vengeful about this lol, if only because it could reflect on her). And Max is right about that. But I love that Idelle still has it in her to take a different path by allying herself with the pirates. I’m curious about the reasoning being after Max makes Mrs. Mapleton madam again; it’s clear the girls aren’t happy about her and she didn’t seem like she took good care of them in s1, to put it mildly, so there’s some of that, but I like to think part of it was Idelle going, “seriously Max? I’m right here! I could be the Madam!” xDD.

Her dynamic with Mrs. Mapleton was really interesting too; I like how she too puts aside any old grudge and decides to put her bets with Max over Eleanor or Rogers, because she has confidence that Max and her methods (“I choose to let the players reveal themselves to me, least I make an enemy out of someone I might wish to call a friend one day”) will outlast them (btw, that line/her approach in general --as well as Silver’s “liked is a good as feared” MO--, kind of reminded me to Sansa Stark’s “If I am ever queen, I will make them love me.” line. Food for thought). Yet I think Mrs. Mapleton instructed Georgia to  attempt to ~seduce Max to get information out of her, which is very much in line with her. I loled at Max’s reaction basically being “gurl, who do you think you’re talking to. I practically invented this. GTFO” xDD

Basically, her entire storyline this season was pure gold. I love how all of those dynamics come from her maneuvers to keep herself safe, in power, and with influence (because those go hand in hand). I love her pride and her confidence, the way she refuses the scraps Eleanor and Rogers intend to give her at first (and how she firmly says to Eleanor “people do not speak to me that way anymore”, how she establishes a new normal between them), and how she pays her way out of trouble/into power with the gold she stole from Flint & co xDD.

My favourite moment of hers is devided between “in another time, in another place, they would call me a queen”, and “I AM Nassau” (that made me decide that if I ever write fic where Max needs a last name for any reason, it’s going to be Nassau. It is law), and how meta they’ll turn out to be :DD. I also have Thoughts about the evolution of her styles (beyond the obvious “omg she’s soooooo beautifuuuuul” lmao) but I’ll leave that for another show-encompassing meta too :P

Madi

She catapulted herself to Forever Fave status pretty quickly (I may have too many of those in this show.  W h a t e v e r  xDD). I love how self-assured she is (“when I speak my men listen, and they do as I say”), and how she always thinks of the big picture (like when she fought her impulse to order her men to fight against the pirates after one of them beat one of hers). And I have a lot of Feels about how this is explicitly linked to her heritage, her mother and father, their ~legacies.

Speaking of: one of the few major spoilers I seem to have avoided was that Mr. Scott was Madi’s father LOL. I was DELIGHTED by that reveal, and how it makes you reconsider his story. His relationship with Eleanor could’ve been a frankly off-putting cliché, but this completely circumvents that; it’s true that he’d shown more independence from her than I would’ve expected in another show, by leaving her side to do his own thing and further contributing to her vulnerability. But giving him a real* family, one that he prioritises over Eleanor and HID FROM HER, using her position to their benefit... That’s on a whole other level.

*I know some people are going to object to this qualifier. Fandom gets like that about found families, adopted families, etc. And I get it, but this is NOT like those situations. Mr. Scott was Eleanor’s SLAVE, FFS. That is incompatible with being her family, her father figure, no matter what she thought. And I love that the show made it explicit, when Madi tried to talk about his “two daughters” and he said “NO. ONLY YOU” in his deathbed (I might or might not have cried, okay. It may be one of my favourite scenes in the whole series). Especially when there’s a very obvious trend of characters of color COINCIDENTALLY being written as prioritizing white characters over their biological families, at the cost of their health and even their lives (I am still not over Monty being forced to kill his own mother to protect Octavia in The 100. Fuck that shit, seriously). Black Sails deciding to do the oposite here is FUCKING REVOLUTIONARY and I love it to pieces.

Another thing I loved is that they picked an actress that looks more like Mr. Scott than like her mother or Max (darker skin etc.): aka how the few black female characters that usually get what Madi will from Silver --that ~eternal devotion, willing to go against anything and anyone for her etc.-- tend to look.

Unsurprisingly, I like Madi/Silver VERY MUCH lol. I like that he is immediately ~drawn to her, in a subtle way, and viceversa (like in the scene where he’s still in the cage watching how she has trouble breathing after seeing her wounded father, or when they hug after his death). All their talks about power, responsibility, succession etc. are really good. And her concern for him is as palpable as probably inconvenient for her xD. I love the scene where she holds her hand as his leg is treated, or her worry one Silver calls himself a “one legged creature”. Though my favourite might be when he smiles when she shows concern for his state after killing Dufresne, and she’s like “well duh, if you fall apart the alliance between my people and yours is screwed” xDD

And though there hasn’t been much development yet on that side, I’m already so onboard with Flint/Madi/Silver lmfao. I love that nod of ~acknowledgment between Flint and Madi with the Maroon Queen’s voiceover about how Madi will have as much authority as Flint in his own ship xD. Her concern about Silver’s relationship with him is kind of ironic knowing that they’ll eventually find themselves more aligned between them than with Silver, by virtue of their many commonalities LOL. And there’s already traces of that ot3 feels, like when Madi tells Silver that the mistake of those “other people close to Flint” that he’s so scared of following to the grave was trying to deal with Flint alone (Madi’s seduction technique: kindness, understanding, and offers of partnership. I dig it).

I want more scenes of and with her mother, too. And between her mother and Silver, since apparently the Maroon Queen trusts him among all the pirates NOT to betray them for money (Jack saying the irony wasn’t lost on him and Flitn was hilarious xD) and that has to be thanks to Madi’s opinion of him. I’m kind of bitter we never got a Mr. Scott & Silver scene, too, especially after Silver and Madi become romantically involved. I love that stuff.

Miranda

I could just upload a bunch of gifs of various crying/in pain/etc. states here because WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS THE PAINNN. I was ~feeling Flint’s grief the entire time, I swear (though... did it have to express itself by shaving his head... asking for a friend). The violence he kept inflicting in her name (her word will be the last word); how he convinced his crew, Silver included, to go into the storm rather than surrendering, for her (and narratively speaking Silver is right, he did conjure it xDD). How fucking tired he is of it all (“you can talk your way part it”, “I don’t know that I have any more lies left in me”).

As far as I’m concerned he could be hallucinating her the rest of the show (I’m going to miss seeing her so much... especially in light of the ending), as painful as I find those scenes. At this point “But when I lost you... I am ruined over you” is an instant tear-jerker, ugh. So is Flint wantint to let go and “be with her”, and ghost!Miranda saying she’d resent him for giving up. Though my favourite is when Miranda basically describes herself as his “maker”, about how she ~shaped him *clenches fist*. I love those kinds of ships.

BTW: I think the moment Rogers mentioned Thomas, Miranda’s ghost, Flint, and I, yelled “HOW DARE YOU SAY HIS NAME” on the inside xD

Flint & Silver

Sometimes fandom gets it right because the relationship between these two is... A Lot. A LOT. I anticipate a lot of suffering on my part in the near future xD

I loved the evolution in the first half of the season, from Flint telling Silver that “in my head, you’re not welcome”, or Silver resenting that Flint’s words convinced HIM (HE’S the convincer!! It’s not supposed to happen to ME!! xDD) and rambling about how Flint is “able to ~conjure the reality he desires”, to Silver finally confessing about his part on the Urca gold robbery (which I’m at least 60% sure Flint suspected already tbh. That was not one of Silver’s best lies lbr) in order to force Flint to “account for ME” --but ofc still grabbing the nearest weapon as he confeses, just in case xDD. I am also incredibly delighted by the fact that the fandom calls that episode “shark date” asdñflkasjdf (*Flint and Silver barely manage to kill one shark*; Flint, challenging: again? *Silver grins*. Shark hunting = foreplay now, apparently).

I want it known that I end up ENRAGED every time they talk about their ~partnership lmfao. It comes off very intimate and gives me too many feelings xD. “When you and I talk with one voice, we can convince them of anything”; “your words opened that door [Flint convincing the Maroon Queen to spare their lives and join their fight]”; “you didn’t tell me the journey into the dark feels good”; “he doesn’t know how to say no to the both of us at the same time”; “I’m afraid I will be the end of you”. JUST STOP YOU ASSHOLES XDD

One of my favourite moments is when Silver convinces Flint to live. To go on, to talk to the Maroon Queen without a safeguard (that knife would’ve been his doom) and get her on their side (which Flint does with a super passionate speech about fighting England’s empire. ILH). Another is when Silver tells him he enjoyed killing Dufresne WITH HIS PROSTHETIC LEG OMFG (I personally think killing Dufresne was very valid of him lmfao), or Flint says Silver enjoyed punishing Dobbs (which in Silver fashion, worked perfectly for him because it made Dobbs MORE susceptible to him). Though obviously everything pales when compared to the scene where CAPTAIN FLINT COMES OUT TO LONG JOHN SILVER OVER A BONFIRE LMFAO. I loved that scene; it was so gentle. And then Silver made it about him and their relationship xDD (this show is not subtle). Flint’s apparent lack of concern about Silver replacing him is stressing me out though. I dread the series finale xD

Outside of Flint/Silver, Silver’s journey remains awe-inspiring. I just... love him. I love that he gave up his share of the Urca gold because he had to hold onto the crew, but that he is terrified of their bow to take care of him. His concern for his image in front of them was heartbreaking and hit waaaaay too close to home, too. And I wonder how he’s going to react to Billy’s King Long John Silver stratagem xD

BTW, I lowkey shipped him with Muldoon LOL. They should’ve had ~tender sex~~ (on screen, I headcanon it did happen off-screen, whatever) at some point (if only so there was one measly mlm sex scene in the show amidst all the rest. It’s troubling, to say the least, that there’s not a single one when it has a queer male lead tbh. And I get why they didn’t go that route with Flint outside of Thomas and can even see why they didn’t do it with Flint/Thomas even if I judge the hell out of them for it, but given how they go out of their way for the other options... yeah, I side eye them).

Jack

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND I WISH HE HAD MORE SCREENTIME, OKAY. Every time he opens his mouth the show gets just a little bit better, if you ask me xD. “If you’re going to behave like children, I will be your daddy” WHO SAYS THAT JACK XDD.

I loved him even more when he decided to deny Rogers & co the cache, Spanish invasion or not, to not give up and assure “his legacy”. And OF COURSE he could write his intentions in a way that only Anne would understand (Max reaaaally understimated him there). Their relationship remains the sweetest (weird adjective, maybe, but it’s true) part of the show, btw. I love that how Jack describes how hurt Anne would feel after knowing she might’ve unwittingly betrayed him. Or when he knew Anne giving up to easily meant she had a plan and he cheerfully told Rogers Anne would find a way to save him xD (the scene where he absolutely drags Rogers about his privilege --“but did I make up a lot of ground to catch you!”-- is perfect. And their reunion kiss was so, so cute.

Other highlights were when he threw away the key of the cache in front of Flint to secure it, or made his pitch to be his fellow captain in the fight. I also take a petty pleasure in the fact that Vane sacrificed himself when he went to his rescue LOL. 

I like that he convinced Blackbeard to fight alongside them, but sweetie, you have NOTHING to prove to that asshole. His opinion is worthless (between his “strife is good” and Vane’s “comfort is for women” takes... ugh. They remind me of the exact discourse among leftism I hate okay xDD. In Vane’s case I at least get where he’s coming from and I even agree in part, but Blackbeard is even more boring).

Misc

-I love Billy’s more and more insidious antagonism towards Flint lmfao (yes, Flint is also one of my Forever Faves. This is compatible AND the kind of thing that would make me appreciate Billy more. I love irreverence, period). It starts with subtle ways of trying to poison Flint and Silver’s relationship (telling Silver Flint doesn’t see him as an equal, sending Silver to deliver Flint’s message instead of Flint himself, etc.). I laughed at him saying he’s all for Flint sacrificing himself for the crew since it’d be the “first selfless thing I’ve seen him do!” lol. Or that he “wants a good view when things catch up with Flint and the world makes sense again”. And ofc, creating the legend of Long John Silver. You just know he remembered Flint’s out of left field “I AM YOUR KING” and said “not on my fucking watch” xDD. And I love the irony of him being the one delivering black spots LOL.

-Did it really took that long for Anne and Flint to share some freaking words smh. Barely, but I’ll take it. I liked the moment where Jack references Max as “Anne’s lost love” and Flint does that Closeted Queer Observing A Queer Couple Look lol (he did the same when he was witness to Max and Eleanor’s fight. You need more queer friends, Flint :P).

-I liked Mrs. Hudson from the moment that she told Eleanor that the only difference she saw between her and other ladies is that their families have better lawyer --which meant Eleanor was the first one she could be rude towards xD--, and accused her of living of her father’s nepotism LOL. I hope she ends up in a good place and safe back with her kids.

-I can’t say I care much about Vane or his relationship with Eleanor, but his death and her hand on it were very well written IMO.

-I find Rogers so inherently unlikeable in every way LMFAO. And as hypocritical as it might sound, part of it is the extramarital affair ngl. I hate storylines where a man married to a more “conventional” woman is ~attracted to one he perceives as “stronger”, “fiercer”, and more worthy of himself (as if his opinion on the matter is worth shit) --only to eventually try and make the new woman more conventional once he “has” her. This one hasn’t gone all the way there but it has traces of that trope and I loathe it with all my heart.

-The only moment I managed to pay attention to Blackbeard was when he mentioned he had shrapnel advancing towards his heart, and for anyone who knows me a little, you know it’s because my brain linked that to Tony Stark lmfao. *Sighs* I just never like any version of Blackbeard, period. I find them so boring. He’s the opposite of Long John Silver that way, because I’ve loved every single version I’ve encountered so far.

-The way Spain is portrayed in this show is so... unusual. Especially for USA content in my experience. One day I’m going to have to do some more research and write about how Spain (and in particular Spanish violence -inter and intranational) is portrayed across the ocean.

#bsmax #bsmadi #miranda barlow #flintmiranda #silverflint #john silver #james flint #black sails #black sails thoughts #talking to the void #my thoughs #black sails s3 #anne x jack x max #maxanne #rackanne #jack rackham #silvermadi #mr. scott #billy bones #bsidelle #i'll have to tag everyone else in a self reblog :/ #long post for ts

[mswyrr]

lucifer s5: best guesses about tone/theme

I think it’s going to be a pretty positive feeling season. I have no clue about specific plot stuff, but just the overall tone and thematic message. I’m coming at this from several assumptions (any/all of which might be wrong!), which are:

It’s a myth/fairy tale that’s supposed to convey psychological truths about the life cycle

Specifically, like a lot of fairy tales/myths, it’s a story about the maturation process, emotionally, from child to adult

The angels are eternally in the “child” role in their family because they do not question their Father, just obey and admire him. They do not form families of their own, or articulate what they want the world to be

Lucifer was the first angel to become a “teenager” and start the process of separating your identity from your parents by questioning/rebelling against them... and he was smacked down so hard for that (told that he was evil) that he’s been stuck in that stage until he came to Earth this time and started getting therapy/forming real emotional bonds outside his original family

Their vision of adulthood is one that balances Duty and Desire/the inner Adult and Child

This is represented by Chloe (Duty) and Lucifer (Desire). They’re a woman who never got to be a child and a man who was told perpetual obedient “childhood” was the only way to be good and dutiful. Both characters have within themselves the other’s dominant quality: Chloe desperately wants to express desire/joy and embrace her inner child for the first time and Lucifer wants to find a way to embrace duty as an adult, as something he chooses and owns for himself, rather than blind obedience to Dad

When they start out they have negative/unbalanced versions of Duty and Desire - Chloe just buries herself in what she owes to others and she’s suffering. She’s isolated, she’s hurting. Apart from Trixie, none of her connections really nourish her soul. Lucifer embraces desire so much that none of his connections really nourish his soul either. He’s living entirely in the fun side of things, but that can be empty if there’s no genuine giving to and connecting with others beyond that. There has to be a balance and they seek that balance in each other.

IMO it’s not a coincidence that talking to Chloe and holding her while she cries and then turning down her offer of sex out of concern for her is an important turning point in her growing trust in S1 and his burgeoning growth/redemption arc. He doesn’t just want the fun things he can get from her: he wants to be there for her when she’s hurting too

IF (and it is a big if) I’m guessing right here, then S4 was about the Duty/Adulthood side of things.

Lucifer figures out how to embrace duty as an adult (rather than an eternally obedient child/angel). He ends up in the same place (literally) that he was, but this time from active choice and out of his love for the family he’s found separate from his parents, no longer caught in a desperate cycle of love/hate with his dad, no longer entirely defined by that relationship.

And it’s hard but it’s satisfying - in the same way Amenadiel becomes an adult, as a father, having to really look at the world and make choices about what he wants it to be. Two eternal children, trapped as the Good Son and the Rebellious Son, break that cycle and achieve the point of maturation, which is to make your own decisions about what *you* believe should be and then follow that up by putting your money where your mouth is and living out your values with the people you love.

Even when it’s hard, it’s *yours*. Your life, which you’ve chosen. Nobody else is telling you what to think or do.

The whole thematic feel of S4 is the hard work side of things in that sense. For the main romance, the hard work of repairing a long-term relationship is the focus of things for Chloe and Lucifer. How you have to decide whether you want to keep choosing this person or not, even when they show that they’re flawed and cause you pain.

But, like.... okay, so they fought their way to a positive articulation of duty as an adult who owns their own choices and consequences. But where’s a positive articulation of desire/letting your inner child have fun too?

That’s what I see as missing and they have one season left to address that, so.... I do think it’s going to be overall (in tone and mood) a season with some real joy in it. Not 24/7 but an overall sense of claiming the joy that’s the other side of all the hard work of owning your life and your choices as an adult.

The final piece of evidence for that, for me, is that if this is a coming-of-age story about the maturation process, then it ought to have a happy ending: people find their way, make their own lives and pay the price for that but also reap the rewards.

It’s not just my shippy heart that wants scenes of Chloe (after trying so hard previously and having it not work out!) getting to have *fun* with Lucifer in a real way. And him getting to experience fully the positive side of desire: which is how enriching it is when you share it with someone you *also* share your adult burdens of duty with. So there’s a positive cycle of sharing obligations and joy between you.

It’s also a story about community and they’ve built up a pretty great blended/found family - so I think there’s probably going to be something about how the strength of that family will come together to resolve the final situation. I don’t think the show intends for Dad to be a bad guy entirely. But I do think the extremely authoritarian/patriarchal original family is something both Lucifer and Amenadiel have grown beyond. And that we’ll see more of that.

Hopefully there will be enough time to develop Maze’s relationship with her mother and/or continue her journey toward finding a partner, since Maze is the third part of this trio of supernatural beings who were caught in perpetual childhood/adolescence and have grown into adults.

I also think Ildy and Joe will use the season as a love letter to the story and fans and everyone, which will involve a more positive tone.

But I don’t think that positive tone will be “false” - there’s a ton of people on Reddit who think the tragic ending of S4 was perfect because tragedy is better than comedy. And, it’s like, er, no?

The story of growing up is a very real thing billions of people engage with. People really do go from obedient child, to questioning teen, to adults who take on responsibilities of care/commitment to others. Sharing burdens and joy. Choosing each other, even when it’s hard. Like, the world is a mess, but there’s a lot of good, kind people trying their best too. And if people didn’t do that creative and hard and beautiful work, BILLIONS OF US, every day, the world wouldn’t have that goodness.

It’s totally cool to tell a myth about that process, its pain and beauty. It’s part of the truth of life and as valid as the tragic parts of life are valid. And I do think that’s what they’re aiming for!

/shrug/ I could be off in my guessing. If they don’t go the general direction I’m expecting I won’t be fussed about it or anything.

But I really think there’s some loveliness ahead, both for deep story reasons, in terms of what they’re trying to say, and just because they’ve had such a wild and beautiful run and they’re going to want to bask in that in their final season.

#lucifer netflix #deckerstar #lucifer meta #my meta #long post

[tokyotheglaive]

// hi i run the blog eliiwoods, if you're accepting prompts, eliwood/hector, both are trans : >

Of course! It turned out slightly less shippy than I’d intended? I don’t know. Warnings for misgendering, discussion of transphobia, and brief mentions of deadnames. There’s very supportive parents, family, and friends, though. These boys deserve good things.

There’s a portrait hanging in Castle Pherae–the marquess and his family. There’s Elbert, there’s Eleanora, and there’s–

He can’t look. That isn’t him, that person with the long, red hair and the white ribbons and the blue dress and the shy, reserved smile. That was never him. It took him years to recognize it, and longer still to gather the courage to say it out loud, but it’s true.

He hurries past the painting, the eyes of the person he was supposed to be following his back.

He wants to write to Helena, but he doesn’t know how to put into words what he’s feeling. It’s an odd sensation. He was raised to write letters, correspondence with the daughters of nearby marquesses. He was taught, over and over and over, the importance of turn of phrase, of pacing, of language itself.

Still, his pen hovers over parchment, hesitant as if he were again a child.

I am a man is too on the nose, but what else can he say? His quill drips, the ink splotches staining the paper. He tears it into pieces and sits back at his desk.

Tomorrow, he thinks. I’ll write to her tomorrow.

It doesn’t happen the next day, for at long last the tailor has finished with his work, and he’s ready to present his new garments. When he says, with a flourish, “for the young lady” everyone present knows the venture is already doomed. There’s ribbons and lace and violet trim, and the tailor can’t stop making comments that border on lewd about how the “young lady” will surely turn heads with “her” fashion choices.

Eleanora and Elbert send him away after paying him for his services. Their son, on the verge of tears and humiliated, is permitted to retreat to his rooms.

Two weeks to the date, Elbert suddenly announces that he will be riding to Ostia. He wants to bring his–child. His son.

His daughter, his son thinks sullenly. He wishes he had his daughter back.

It’s not true, and he knows it, but the thought won’t go away.

“I’d rather not go, Father,” he says. He can look Elbert in the eyes, but just barely. Elbert loves his son without condition and has given him clothes from his own closet until Eleanora can find someone who can fit him without thinking of him as a lady. The hems are long, and he privately thinks that he looks ridiculous. He’s far too well-mannered to say anything of the sort out loud.

“My son,” Elbert says, and something within him melts. “Please, consider it. Your friend misses you terribly.”

“Helena?” he asks. Almost immediately, he shrinks. “I…don’t think she wants to see me.”

Like this, he thinks, miserable. Why does he have to be like this? Why can’t he be Eliza, pretty and neat and demure? Why is he he?

“From what I’ve heard from the marquess,” Elbert says, clearly choosing his words with care, “you two may have much to discuss.”

Elbert doesn’t explain what he means, which piques his son’s curiosity immediately. Elbert is a compassionate man, but he’s hardly one to obscure the truth, no matter how simple or painful. That he does not elaborate has his son by turns thrilled and concerned. 

He agrees to travel to Ostia because it’s the only way to uncover the mystery. He fidgets with his sleeves and fiddles with his gloves and itches in his saddle, but he otherwise remains quiet throughout the journey, lost in his own thoughts.

Helena. What will she think? What does he think of himself?

Ostia looms ahead.

Ostia is everything Pherae isn’t–loud and large and booming, the commercial center of Lycia with all of the glory and danger that invites. It’s been years since his last visit, and he’s just as enthralled as he was on his first. It’s not just Lycians in the streets, either. There are all manner of people–nomads from Sacae and Etrurians and Highlanders from Bern and a few that he assumes come from the reclusive tribes of the Western Isles. They speak languages he’s never heard and eat foods he can’t identify by smell and dress in ways he’s unaccustomed to.

He thinks, not for the first time, that he would be better off with them than as the child of a marquess. For all of Elbert’s approval and Eleanora’s affection, there’s still the tricky mess of explaining to others, like the tailor. He could just dismount, run across the plaza, and make for the far side of the city. Someone would find him, maybe, or maybe Elbert would let him go. He could disappear, find someplace where he’d never been known as Eliza, where no one would think to call him such a name. He could be…himself.

The throngs thin as they approach the castle walls, and he holds his head up high. He doesn’t dismount. This is his life, his duty. He’ll face whatever he must–Helena’s wrath and disgust, he expects, but perhaps not.

Perhaps…

There’s someone up on the ramparts, leaning over the side to get a better view. He sees a shock of blue hair. Not Helena–perhaps her older brother, Uther, the marquess? It would be an unusual place for the marquess, but Uther had always been odd according to Helena. Perhaps it’s someone else. He looks away as the gates open, and when he glances back up, the individual is gone.

“Marquess Pherae,” Uther greets. He’s older now than he was years ago–it’s logical, obviously, but it still catches him by surprise. He remembers playing with Helena and Uther under the watchful eyes of governesses and the steward. The Uther of today seems distant from that memory. He has a scar across his nose, healed but angry, and he holds himself stiffer. Something has happened.

“Marquess Ostia,” Elbert replies. They clasp arms, holding each other close. It’s a manner of checking for weapons as well as indicating equality, and the duality of the gesture is lost on no one. “It’s a pleasure to see you looking well.”

Uther nods briefly and says, “And you as well. It is a long journey from Pherae. You must be tired.”

He knows his father is exhausted–they hardly stopped to rest for the night–but to his surprise, Elbert shakes his head.

“We are,” he says, “but my son here is eager to see his old friend.”

Uther turns to him for the first time during the conversation. He bows slightly, and Uther returns the gesture.

“It is good to see you,” Uther says. “I will admit that I worried a great deal when Elbert expressed that you would be coming. I feared you would take poorly to the news. You were always such a dear friend. It seems that my fears were unfounded. Well met, my Lord.”

Elbert holds him close, but he can’t help but ask, “The news? Has something happened to Helena?”

Uther looks to Elbert. “You have not told…him?”

Elbert nods before he shakes his head. “I have not,” he says. “I thought that perhaps it was best to let the introductions make themselves.”

Uther seems to consider for a moment, then nods.

“I see the wisdom in your judgment. Indeed, come along. Your father and I have much to discuss, and in the meantime…”

Uther sends a servant to take him away, deeper into Castle Ostia. They climb stair after stair, and soon, he can’t hear his father or Uther at all.

“Where are we going?” he asks the servant.

“To see your friend,” the servant says.

“Helena?” he asks. “Why won’t you say her name?”

The servant’s mouth twists before she says, “I’m under orders not to.”

“Why?”

“I believe,” the servant says crisply, “you must ask someone else.”

He can’t get another word out of the servant, so he follows obediently. He can’t help but feel this is some sort of elaborate prank. Surely, he thinks–surely, no one could orchestrate something like this just to pull a mean-spirited trick. Helena had always been one for jokes, but never ones that involved embarrassment, or this much of anything.

He found himself before the doors to Helena’s room. The servant cleared her voice and said, “Whenever you wish to return to your father, come speak to me. I’ll be out here.”

“Right,” he said. He turned to the doors. “Are you…?”

The servant didn’t answer.

“Right,” he repeated. Right. With only a moment’s more hesitation, he knocked on the door.

“Oh!”

There’s an unfamiliar figure standing in Helena’s room. He’s–he doesn’t have the words to describe him. His hair is short, almost spiked in its exuberance; he’s dressed immaculately, his trousers and boots and his very tunic all neatly tailored and designed to show off his prowess. He’s not that tall–not taller than himself, anyway–but there’s something familiar…

“Don’t recognize me?” the boy asks, and suddenly it clicks.

“Helena?” he asks.

The boy’s face drops. It’s a subtle shift, but it’s one he’s grown to recognize.

“It’s–it is you, isn’t it?” he steps forward, and the boy frowns.

“Yeah,” he says. “It’s–listen. I don’t–that’s not my name anymore.”

“It’s not?” he asks. His mouth is dry. It’s not? He asks, “What should I call you, then?”

“Hector,” he answers immediately. Hector. A good, strong, proud name.

“Hector,” he parrots. The boy–Hector–nods.

“I–I was going to tell you,” Hector says, “but I though you’d be upset and I didn’t–”

“Hector,” he says. Hector doesn’t stop.

“–my brother didn’t know what to do either and–”

“Hector.”

Hector stops.

“I think,” he says, “we’ve been worried about the same thing.”

“The same…” Hector trails off as he looks at his friend more closely. His eyes go wide, and he says. “Oh.”

Oh, indeed. He stands up straight, ready for Hector to mock him–he’s not cut out to be a man, is he? Hector’s clearly already on the path to be one. He looks the part, he’s clearly got definition in his arms and he’s–

“Have you picked out a name?”

His imagined derision momentarily drowns out the question. When he fully hears it, he asks, “What?”

“A name,” Hector asks. “I’m Hector, yeah? And you’re…”

He shakes his head. “I haven’t,” he says. “Nothing seems to fit.”

Hector looks him up and down, then glances over his shoulder.

“Get in here,” Hector says. “Come over here.”

He obeys, and Hector wraps him in a massive hug. Hector squeezes him hard, and he tries to give back just as much.

“I’m so glad,” Hector says, “so glad to see you.”

They take dinner together, away from their fathers, and they talk incessantly. Hector fills most of the silences, but then he’s had the most to experience. Hector makes him try on some of his clothes to wear for the duration of his visit, which fit much better than Elbert’s do. He gives him a name for a tailor and insists they go out tomorrow to get him properly fitted–with Elbert’s blessing, of course–and at the end of the evening, they find themselves in the library.

“I came here when I started thinking about it,” Hector says, looking up at the books. “I thought I was cursed.”

“Me, too,” he replies.

Hector nudges him. “Turns out all of this dusty old stuff’s got a lot of names in it. Let’s find you one.”

“Wait.”

Hector stops. He looks at the ground, kicking one foot back.

“I’m not sure…”

“Do you–blast, I’m not–sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize!” he says. “It’s just. I didn’t think you were going to…”

“Going to what?” Hector asks.

“Accept me,” he mumbles.

“Accept you?” Hector asks. “Gods, if only we’d– I was so worried about what you would say about me that I could hardly sleep. I saw you riding in, you know. I had meant to meet you at the gate, but I didn’t know what to say.”

“Neither did I,” he admits.

Hector shrugs. “But, we’re two of a kind, right? I don’t want to do something wrong. I kind of don’t know what I’m doing, either.”

He laughs at that. “Just like in lessons, then?” he teases.

Hector scowls, but the smile’s still in his eyes. “Bah, I always thought sparring was more fun to watch. You should see me in the arena–I’m working on bulking up. Soon, I’ll be able to take on the knights!”

“You want to fight?” he asks.

“Sure,” Hector says.

“I’ve never been one for violence,” he admits. “Does that mean I’m not…?”

“Hey, woah, woah, I didn’t mean that,” Hector says, holding up both hands. “You’re not any less of a man because you don’t want to fight.”

“I want to protect the people I care about,” he says. “I’ve always wanted that. That hasn’t changed.”

“And I’ve always wanted to fight,” Hector says. “Didn’t change for me, either. It’s who we are, I think.” He must not look very convinced because Hector says, “My brother doesn’t like fighting, either. He’s still my brother.”

“You don’t think less of me?”

“I think you’re a noble person,” Hector says. He frowns, then continues, “Look, I’m not good at this stuff. Let’s just–go, I guess.”

“Hector,” he says. Again, Hector stops. “You’re doing fine. Thank you.”

Hector ducks his head, and he knows–Helena or Hector, his friend has never been good at receiving praise. He hopes he’s able to stay to give more. There are few who deserve it more than Hector.

Hector fell asleep easily an hour ago, but he’s still awake. He’s got candles all over the table to see by as he peers over story after story, looking for something that fits. He’s already gone through the one Hector used for inspiration; nothing there had jumped out at him. He’s gone through page after page, but for all of the names he’s found, none have resonated with him. He’s not even sure if they’re supposed to. How do you know when you’ve found the right one?

Alexander, Gaius, Marcus–that’s the name of one of his father’s knights, he thinks. Saul, Oscar, Gerome–all good names, but not him.

He lay his head down on the parchment and shut his eyes. Why did it have to be so difficult?

After a moments pause, he picks up the parchments he’s gone through and puts them back approximately where he thinks they belong. There’s a shelf at roughly knee-level that he hasn’t gone through that catches his eye. The scrolls and books there aren’t stories but instead histories.

On a whim, he picks one. It’s a history of the church of Elimine, starting from St. Elimine herself and covering the major schisms, sects, and movements that led the continent to where it is today. It’s dry stuff, but it’s full of names–names that once held power, that still do hold power. Names that stand for peace, and tranquility.

The first that jumps out at him is his father’s own: Elbert. The sight of it makes him smile, and he searches further. The ancient Elbert, devout priest of Elimine, makes no mention of descendants or any kin. Listed on the next page, however, is one Elraiud.

The name, the book mentions, is spelled phonetically, as Elraiud himself had never been instructed how to read and left behind no written accounts of his own. Records of his existence are limited exclusively to what others have written about him.

He thinks of this Elraiud and whispers the name out loud. Elraiud.

It sounds a lot like Eliwood, he thinks.

He likes the sound of that.

#durandaal #prompt fills #my writing #fe7 #hector #eliwood #trans hector #trans eliwood