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bouncingkadachi · 3 years

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Blessed Rain

Summary: A Hunter’s weapon of choice says a lot about them. OR: Kyle upgrades his weaponry and gets caught red-handed in the act. Luckily (?) for him, only Tsukino seems to know exactly why he's having an emotional crisis over this.

Word count: 3,260

Note(s): set post-game

Also available on AO3!

Kyle’s had his new bow for a good couple of weeks before the feel of the limbs and the weight of the draw became comfortable enough for him to consider upgrading it. If he’s going to be injured, he reasons, he’d rather it be purely by way of monster and not because he pulls a muscle wrestling with a bow that hasn’t been properly broken in. His wallet despairs as he forks over the zenny, but this’ll hopefully let him take on some of the bigger hunts like the ones that Reverto goes on. It’ll all be worth the investment up front once he has his completely finished bow and restocked his coatings and finally drops the last of his coin on a couple new talismans.

He refuses to think about the implications of his reasoning with a literal coin, rolling it around and around his fingers as he pushes through the market throngs towards the smithy’s. Perhaps he ought to have a change of scenery—the fog-shrouded summits of Terga were said to be particularly beautiful at this time of year, and the heat in Lamure was becoming just shy of unbearable.

The final product that the blacksmith puts into his hands when he finally makes it to collect is nothing short of gorgeous. Blessed Rain is sleek where his old Rex bow was bulky, far lighter and certainly not as clunky. The upgrades on the riser gives the entire weapon a pleasant solidness in his hand, yet the delicately reinforced plating on the limbs doesn’t retract at all from its flexibility. The decorative grip protector gleams. Just looking at it makes Kyle excited to shoot.

“Bring her back if you’re finding that you need anything adjusted,” the smith tells him after Kyle’s diligently inspected every inch of the bow. “Kept the poundage the same for you, but added another inch to the draw length like you asked.”

“Thanks,” Kyle says. Eventually, he’d like to work up to the point where he can up the poundage again. Even just another five pounds would be good. He can do most of the hunts in his skill range alone now, but extra firepower would make him just that much more efficient, or that much of a better support for team hunts.

The smith laughs when Kyle sheepishly admits this. “Well, I always like to help a Hunter improve, and you know where to find me,” he says cheerily, clapping Kyle enthusiastically on the shoulder. “Come by again anytime if you need a tune up or want to test out something new.”

And with that, he waves Kyle away so that another Hunter can step up, holding a tired-looking sword and shield and looking equally exhausted. “Aye, rookie Hunter?” Kyle hears as he wanders off to find a more relaxed corner of the market in which to admire his new bow some more. “If you’ve got the materials I can repair and upgrade that for you.” The conversation peters out and melts into the general din of the marketplace as Kyle slips into the crowd, taking care to step out of the way of a Felyne carrying an absolutely massive basket groaning with produce. He watches the precarious load totter away, trying and failing to locate Tsukino in the brief respite the parted crowd affords him. They’d split earlier that morning and he hasn’t seen her since.

He still hasn’t managed to find even a whisker of Tsukino’s whereabouts by the time he settles into a decently quiet nook next to a stall selling all manner of spices. Pity, because the dappled light spilling through the colorful drapes of the marketplace catches so beautifully on the milky-white sheen of the bow, and he’d been looking forward to showing it to her. As a Hunter, Kyle will always care more about weapon practicality than aesthetics, but as a normal human being he certainly won’t turn down the opportunity to have both an aesthetically pleasing and perfectly functional weapon. He’s still grinning a little when he goes to strap the bow to his back, and it’s in the process of looking up that his gaze catches onto wide eyes staring plainly at him from across the street.

He freezes, arm suspended awkwardly halfway to sheathing. His beautiful bow glints damningly in the bright Lamure sunlight as his unexpected friend wades through the throngs of people towards him, gesturing for him to stay put with a wave of her hand that really can’t be mistaken for anything other than a greeting.

“Hey,” he says cautiously and lamely when she finally reaches him. Belatedly, he remembers to lower his arm. He is momentarily thankful that she doesn’t try to reach up for his face in the Mahanan greeting, although his goodwill evaporates when she leans in to inspect his bow, body thrumming with unexplainable anticipation.

“Oh, that’s pretty,” she says finally. Kyle can’t help himself from preening just a little, shifting his grip so that she can get a better look. After all, what was the point of spending all that money and materials if there was no one to excitedly show the end product off to? Besides, it’s been a while since they last saw each other. Last he heard, she had been traveling, keen to finally see the world on her own terms and at her own pace.

“It’s fresh off an upgrade,” he answers smugly. “Easier to handle than the Rex.”

“Slightly less intimidating though,” she chimes in, and Kyle bristles, not liking where this conversation is going. And true to form, she goes in for the kill: “Mizutsune? I recognize the plating.”

Kyle can feel the flush crawling up to his ears. Logically, he knows that there’s nothing for him to be embarrassed about. It’s a mark of good smithing that one can tell at a glance which monster a weapon was inspired by, and a Mizutsune was both powerful and extremely iconic. This bow in particular had good stats and the ability to fire rapidly, which admittedly took him some time to get used to after focusing mostly on piercing shots. The paralysis coating that works so well on this bow has also already saved his skin on more than one occasion. There is little more a career Hunter can ask for out of his weapon. It’s not like he’d been heading out to Pomore Garden at any given opportunity and holding onto an increasing multitude of Mizutsune materials just because he wanted some physical reminder of what was probably the most pivotal moment of his life, something that never failed to put a very complicated and jumbled mess of emotions deep within his chest whenever he thought back to it.

He’s starting to feel very, very hot under his collar. The sun is terrible. He resolves that his next big hunt really needs to be somewhere outside of Lamure.

His friend, however, just looks more and more baffled as he launches into an unprompted defense of his newest purchase. Every time she opens her mouth, Kyle talks a little faster. Eventually, she doesn’t even bother trying to interject, which is arguably worse, because instead she just looks progressively more and more thoughtful. Kyle wished desperately for Tsukino to peel away from whatever hidey hole she was tucked in. Then, his train of thought screeches into a rude and abrupt halt.

“What,” he croaks. “What are you doing.”

One of her brows quirks up. “I sure hope your eyes are still working because that’d be a detriment to your job,” she says plainly. “What does it look like I’m doing? I promise it’s not a trick question.”

What she’s doing is holding Kyle’s hand—the one not clutching his new bow—the one that had apparently been waving about with increasing agitation as he jabbered on and on. What Kyle doesn’t understand is why. It’s not like he just did some impressive shot to give them the edge in a battle or anything else that was cool and hand-holding worthy. He’d just been yammering about bow mechanics, and maybe embarrassingly dipping into his talisman hopes and dreams. He stares a little helplessly at his trapped hand. Her kinship stone winks up at him.

“Look,” she says patiently, when it becomes very clear that Kyle is going to need a moment before he can get his brain back online. “There’s nothing wrong with a bow made from Mizutsune parts and I am the last person who will ever turn down pretty things. What I was going to say was that this is an interesting departure from your whole—” She pauses, as though looking for a specific word. “Well, your whole image as a very grown-up and serious and intimidating Hunter or whatever it was you were trying to convey with that scowl you used to like so much. And you weren’t letting me get a single word in.”

“You’re getting plenty of words in now,” Kyle scowls, just to be contrary. “And I’ve grown since then.”

“Someone’s in a mood today.” She smiles, crinkle-eyed, up at him. Kyle very seriously debates wrenching his hand out of her hold like he did the last time this happened and then pointedly doesn’t act on the impulse.

“Why’re you in Lulucion?” he asks instead with a truly remarkable level of self-restraint. “Thought you’d never want to come back again after what happened.”

She shrugs, the greatsword on her back heaving with the movement. “Guess I’ve grown too,” she says loftily, though she sobers quickly. “I was actually visiting my grandfather. He used to go back to Mahana around this time of year… he can’t do it anymore of course but I’ve got Ratha now, so I figured I could do it instead. And then I figured I’d stop by Rutoh before going home, to see Ena and Alwin and wheedle a few more stories out of them.”

She lets go of Kyle’s hand. He tries not to miss it. “Even Ratha can’t make the trip in one go, and Lulucion was closest, so we’re stopping to rest. I dropped by the Scrivener’s Lodge earlier because I was hoping Reverto could give me a few weapon pointers as I’ve saved up just about enough for an upgrade, but they told me that he was out on an urgent mission and wouldn’t be back for a while.”

“Oh,” Kyle says, a little stung that she hadn’t come specifically to see him first, out of all the Hunters in the city. He’s slightly mollified when she grins at him, though.

“And then I met Tsukino by the cannons. She said I could find you here, so here I am.”

“I don’t know anything about greatswords,” Kyle blurts out, and immediately wants to kick himself. She blinks at him, and then bursts into laughter.

“I was just going to ask the smith,” she wheezes when she’s got herself somewhat back under control. “Can’t I see a friend just to say hi to him anymore?” Kyle stares very intently down at some of the finer detailing on his bow.

“Where is my Palico anyway?” he finally settles on, falling into a tried and true grumble. “I haven’t seen her all day.”

She waves her hand vaguely in the air. “Navirou said something about getting donuts. I wasn’t really listening.”

But there was a donut stand right here in the marketplace, Kyle wanted to cry out. He should have seen Tsukino by now if they’d really been going to buy snacks! And how was it possible that he had missed Navirou in his entirety, between the Felyne’s penchant for wearing ridiculous little outfits and his inability to shut up?

“Why? You have a hunt you need to run off to?”

“Yes,” Kyle says hotly. It’s a lie. He’d accepted a subquest that wouldn’t depart until later that evening for the sole purpose of testing out his new weapon in a relatively stress-free environment. Before that, he’d just planned on hitting up the shooting range in the training arena to break in the new string. His schedule was very, very free. Tsukino was perfectly aware of that.

His eyes widened. Tsukino had been with him on every excursion into the Gardens. She went where he did (usually), and it’s not like Kyle would ever begrudge her a visit home. But she’d been with him every step of every single Mizutsune job he’d ever taken—had watched him craft traps when he needed to capture and had kept watch for opportunists hoping to sneak up as he’d carved. She’d been the one who’d recommended the spinner for all the excess purplefur he was ending up with. At first, he’d simply thought that she’d wanted the thread to mend some of her own items, or to send back home to her brethren, but instead she’d tucked each skein of vibrant, silk-soft thread into the bottom of his pouch with gentle paws, cryptically talking about how strong a material it was, and how nice it looked when woven. Kyle has never touched a loom in his life, but now he’s looking at someone who he definitely knows has.

His stomach drops. Hadn’t Tsukino looked particularly smug ever since he’d lingered on the blueprints for Blessed Rain after getting a look at its stats and required materials?

“She got me,” he groans. His friend just looks at him bemusedly, though perhaps with a touch of wariness at his ferocious frown. Hastily, he tacks on: “It’s nothing. I, uh—I just remembered that I needed to tell Tsukino something. Important. Later, when I find her again.”

“Alright,” she says, though she doesn’t quite look like she believes him. “A quest’s a quest, though, so I won’t keep you here. The bow really is pretty though. I know I just said it doesn’t match your image and all but I really don’t think you can go wrong with something you like. You’ve got the skills for it, anyway.”

“Thanks,” he croaks, feeling a little overwhelmed. He manages two whole steps out of the nook before he pauses, worrying at his lower lip. “Actually,” he says sharply, spinning around on his heel and nearly causing his friend to startle right into a spice display. “How long are you staying for?”

“However long it’ll take to upgrade my sword, I guess,” she says after she collects herself, the words lilting into a question. “Three days or so, I guess?” She skirts nervously away from the glaring vendor, careful not to overbalance on her greatsword.

“Cool,” Kyle says with a nod, steeling himself. “Great, even. Look, how about this. Your last visit to Lulucion was terrible—” an understatement, “—so when I get back from my hunt I’ll show you some of the better sights Lulucion has to offer. There’s a hole in the wall that I think you’ll like. Dad used to take me after hunts—they grill really nice queen shrimp. And the parapets—you can climb them, and they’ve got all these little carvings in the stone that you can search for like a scavenger hunt.” He’s keenly aware that he’s rambling again, but she looks interested, so he barrels on. “I’ll come pick you up tomorrow just as soon as I can get a nap in. We can stay in the city or take Ratha out to the Barrens, down by the water. Just make a day of it.” He’s pretty certain that he looks at her with something akin to hope as she considers. It feels like a lifetime before she finally comes to a decision.

“I want to take Ratha out in the evening,” she says finally. “I don’t want him to be cooped up too long here ever again.”

“Yeah,” Kyle breathes out, the word rushing out of him in a flood of relief. “Yeah, I can work around that.” She beams at him.

“I’ll look forward to it,” she says, sincere and looking more than a little surprised despite herself at the prospect of looking forward to doing anything in Lulucion. “I’m staying at the inn closest to the stables. Pretty sure I’m the only Rider there currently so they’ll know who I am.” Kyle nods, and lets himself get his hand squeezed again, though not without her hands first hovering in an instinctual bid for his cheeks before she remembers herself.

“Good luck on your hunt. If I see Tsukino I’ll let her know you’re looking for her.”

“She’ll show up in due time,” he mutters darkly. “I’ll let you know if Reverto gets back early or if he’s just been loafing around this entire time. For your next upgrade or whatever.” She laughs, bright, and then slips off into the crowd to wrestle her way into the smithy’s queue. Kyle is left staring in her wake before his gaze is drawn back down to his bow.

“This is all your fault,” he tells it. Predictably, it doesn’t answer. Also predictably, Tsukino takes that exact moment to drop down from seemingly nowhere.

“I didn’t know we had another job lined up,” the Felyne says delicately, carefully brushing crumbs off of her coat. Kyle groans, sheathing his weapon.

“Don’t tease me,” he huffs. “I’m going to the shooting range. Are you coming?”

“Hmm,” says Tsukino. “I suppose I can spare the time.”

“Of course you can spare the time!” Kyle hisses, indignant. “You just spent the day eating donuts and eavesdropping!” He pointedly doesn’t look towards the smithy, where his friend was patiently browsing the display while another Hunter was getting their hammer looked at.

“One must always be prepared with the latest intel,” Tsukino says mildly. “I’m glad the upgrade went well.”

“It’s got good stats,” Kyle protests weakly in what is quickly becoming a tired argument. “The rapid shots have been going very well. And I had a surplus of Mizutsune parts.”

“Yes,” his hunting partner agrees readily enough. “Have you thought of what you’re going to do with the thread?”

“This conversation is finished,” Kyle says abruptly, making a very determined push towards the market’s exit. “Either come or don’t, so long as we meet at the gate for tonight’s hunt.”

Tsukino looks at him with exasperated fondness, which is frankly a little insulting, but readily falls into step next to him. Kyle wonders how many rounds he’s going to have to shoot in order to clear his head again and rid it of thoughts of Hazepetal Garden or Mizutsune or high-grade thread that he’ll never use himself. He’ll examine them again someday—because he’s not a coward—but that day is most certainly not today.

He does his rounds in the training arena and marvels at the way the string slides off his fingers with a satisfying twang, even though it’ll still be a good few days before it’s fully broken in to his liking. Tsukino’s saved him a donut, the cakey sweet sticky with honey and practically melting in his mouth. He’s got some free time even after stocking up for the evening hunt, so he takes a few minutes to browse the quest board, taking careful note of the jobs that were situated near the Harzgai Rocky Hill, or the ones from further afield in Alcala that’ll take him closer to Rutoh. And when he leaves the city, he pointedly doesn’t look up at the familiar shape circling in the dusky sky, even as he knows that they’ll surely see the last rays of the setting sun winking off of the plates of his bow like a beacon.

#was anyone going to tell me that HR Kyle gets a MIZU BOW #You were just going to withhold this vital piece of information from me?#anyway here's 3k words about the significance of Mizutsune to one (1) boy that I love #I wrote this specifically with my idiot in mind #but asides from the gender and a few other lines I guess you can generalize to any other Rider #monster hunter kyle #monster hunter stories 2 #Annie writes

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becomewings · 4 years

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Archived Network Event

2020 Secret Bunny Exchange

hai lovely! Im sparkle and I’m going to be your secret bunny. I hope you’re having a good day or night. 🥰 -sparkle ✨💫

Hello Sparkle dear! Thank you for being my secret bunny. I hope you are having a good day/night too and enjoying this wonderful comeback.

I’m enjoying it too! It’s such a good comeback, and I honestly love it. This is like my second comeback with them. -sparkle 💫✨

This is my first comeback, eek! I was not at all prepared for how much I would be waiting on the edge of my seat, but it's been really exciting!

Yes! It's such a good comeback honestly. When did you first get into BTS? What drew you to them? I'm sorry I'm asking for many questions. Lol. -sparkle 💫✨

It's okay, ask away! ^^ I stumbled across BTS by accident...which may indicate just how much I live under a cultural rock. I actually don't usually listen to much pop music. I'm a classically trained composer and video game soundtracks and moody indie/rock are more my jam, but last year I heard the YouTube ad that uses part of DNA and it intrigued me. I didn't know which song it was so I ended up listening through quite a bit before finding it...and fell absolutely in love along the way! So I have a soft spot in my heart for DNA. How about you, Sparkle? What got you into BTS?

So first, I hope you're having a too day/night! It's been a very long and busy one for me. I'm so glad to be off. Alsooo, I've been into Kpop for around 10 years now, so I've always enjoyed and I have a soft spot for 2nd gen kpop groups. When BTS started to get popular I didn't like them at first. But I saw Dope after the FBE channel reacted to them and I'm like okay they seem interesting around 2018. Lol. And I went down the hole, and have been stuck since. Lol. They're amazing. -sparkle 💫✨

Thank you Sparkle, hope you enjoy your evening off! Mine was busy too (we’re prepping for a move, eep) but at least it was productive. Wow, you’ve been into Kpop for a long time! Dope is really catchy (and I love that honky sax haha), I’m not surprised it got you interested and then hooked. :) Do you have a favorite era? Mine is probablyyy Wings, but I love most of Love Yourself too, and HYYH is so wonderfully nostalgic even if I wasn’t a fan then... and I’m a big fan of this new era too

Moving sucks! I'm going to be moving in the next year or so, and I"m not read for it. And yes! I've been into it for so long. But HYYH is one of my favorites as well. I think mine may be LY because that was the era that I started stanning them. I forget which one, but it's the one with idol as their title song. Wings is super amazing, and one of those that I'll always listen to. MOTS is just GOD TIER. Lol. I love it. -sparkle 💫✨

Haha MoTS being god tier is accurate xD Sounds like your move is a little ways off, but I wish you the best of luck when it happens! Ours is on a fairly tight deadline so I really have to hustle this weekend with house preparations (we still need to sell ours). I hope you have a lovely weekend, dear Sparkle! 💫

It is a little ways off, but moving just sucks in general. The packing and unpacking and then trying to get everything ready. Especially in your case. But I hope everything works out for you. And I hope you have a beautiful weekend too. -sparkle 💫✨

Thank you, Sparkle! We made a lot of progress today so I feel a bit better (and extremely tired). When the time comes, I hope you have the opportunity to prepare ahead for your move so it doesn't stress you too much. :) Have a nice start to your week! ✨

Heyyy! It's me sparkle! It's been alright so far, let's how it stays that way. And I'm glad you've made more progress on your move! Hopefully your Monday was good. -sparkle 💫✨

Thank you, Sparkle! There's so much going on in the world right now, close to home and far away... I am trying to stay calm and positive, with varying degrees of success. Please take care of yourself! (And that goes to everyone... I know it is difficult because we all have our own obligations to school, work, family, etc., but please try to prioritize your health and stay safe 💜)

Yes! I hope you’re staying safe. I don’t know what area of the world you live in and I know the virus is hitting others harder than most. We have 8 reported cases here. And it’s a scary to me. I hope you are staying safe. I just said that twice. Lol. Happy Thursday! -sparkle ✨💫

Thank you, you too! I live in the US (California, to be somewhat specific) and so far there have been two confirmed cases in my county. I'm grateful the university I work at is (finally) taking precautionary measures by banning large gatherings and moving classes temporarily online, and that I can continue working unless there is a full campus closure... Trying not to be too anxious about things that are simply out of my control and hoping that things gradually work out and improve. I'm also grateful for the community here, even if I don't know anyone personally, it is nice to come online and see people being reassuring and encouraging to each other from all across the globe.

Music and BTS are a good distraction when needed... Now that their promotional period is done, do you have a favorite moment?

I'll repeat you too, please stay safe dear, you and everyone who happens to read this 💜

I truly wish that my job would take some measures, and they have yet. I work with the general public a lot as a secretary. So it's like seriously having me on edge. I know the schools year have temporally closed down and moving things to online since it was spring break here. As well as the public schools closing for a month. Honestly, I'm not sure if I have a favorite moment honestly. Lol. They were all good moments, but I did quite enjoy watching all the ON performances. What about you?

I truly hope your employer catches on soon and makes accommodations so that you can practice some social distancing and have a safe work environment. We were just informed today that we have to work from home two days next week, on rotation, to keep our department staffed but also reduce the number of people on the floor -- for next week only so far, but I won’t be surprised if it continues past that. I can’t fulfill all of my responsibilities from home, so I’m grateful that they are allowing us to complete online trainings and such in the meantime. I am also so glad it’s Friday. What a week it’s been.

Ahh, I love ON! As a former member of drumline and marching band, I have such a fondness for the drum corps elements they incorporated into the music and background choreography. I was excited for the Official MV version too, so beautiful and thought-provoking! I also looove Black Swan (JIMIN’S DANCING EEK). I haven’t been as excited about something in a long time as when I stayed up late to catch their first performance on James Corden. So while I’ve enjoyed all of the comeback (especially as it’s my first!), that was particularly memorable for me. The surprise MV drop was also lovely 🦢🖤

Sorry, I am really rambly tonight. Please take care and have a good weekend! Hope you can get lots of rest! 💗

It’s been a long couple days! Sorry I haven’t gotten back with you! I’ve been stressed about everything going on, and I do hope that they catch on soon too. I was very excited for this comeback and the art in their videos has been beautiful. Black Swan and Jimin dance break? Quality content honestly. Yes! The surprise MV was great. I prefer this version of Black Swan over the other, but both are good. I hope you had a good weekend! -sparkle 💫✨

Hi again Sparkle, thank you for checking in on me! Please don't apologize for messaging delays, there's no need! We all signed up for this event long before any of this started, so I'm grateful you can spare a little time to chat with me. 💜 I'm working from home for at least the next 3 weeks because my uni is now fully closed... But I'm very grateful I have that opportunity. (As much as sometimes I would just like to go to sleep and wake up when this is all over, hah!)

Please continue to take care of yourself! Hope you find some comfort in music or other personal hobbies!

How are you doing? Last week was so stressful for me. So I am quite happy to be working from home this week. I hope you are staying healthy and happy through all of this! How was your week last week? I hope your weekend was alright? I had a pretty decent one me and a couple close friends had game night, and that was the highlight of my weekend. -sparkle 💫✨

I missed hearing from you, Sparkle! (But totally understand, the world is upside down right now.) I’m sorry you had a stressful week and I hope this one is better for you as you transition to working from home. My days have just fluctuated between quiet/boring and a little stressful (mostly re: house stuff, but that’s out of my control at this point), but I suppose I’m glad it hasn’t been worse than that.

Ooh what are your favorite games?? I’ve been trying to keep up creative side work between writing and blog content, but… I might purchase Animal Crossing soon hehe. Do you have any other hobbies to help distract you from stress/everything that’s going on? Take care dear! 💗

I know! I let time get away from me honestly! I hadn't been meaning too. I miss talking to you! I love all kind of games. I'm not particularly picky, but i do like that Game of LIfe. I've had just about ever version they've made. We played this one called Blockbuster in reference to movies and it was fun because if you know a lot of movies it's somewhat easy but you have to act out some of hte titles. Lol. Animal crossing seems like fun, everyone talks about it. Lol. -sparkle 💫✨ 1/2

I’ve never played it before. I’ve been thinking of getting an Nintendo Switch, but I don’t know how often I would play it. I know that game comes on there. But I heard it’s also an app? I’m not entirely sure. Lol. Also, I’m planning on making you a gif set for the secret bunny exchange! I know you said you love Jimin (my bias wrecker and sweet baby), Kookie, and Tae. And you were right, it’s hard to pick just ONE. Is there any particular one you want to see in a gif set? -sparkle 💫✨ 2/2

Receiving messages from you makes me happy! ^^ I know life is strange right now though so completely understand if you don’t have time. I’ll be patiently waiting!

So you like tabletop games? Sounds fun! I gravitate toward video games more personally, but haven’t had too much time lately to play. There are definitely fun ones to try if you ever get a Switch! There’s Breath of the Wild of course, which I admit I am still holding off on finishing because I don’t want it to be over LOL, some Mario & friends party games if that’s your jam, as well as some really beautiful indie games (Gris for example!). ANYWAY I won’t ramble about that anymore haha. I’m not sure what the app is, if you were referring to Animal Crossing–might be a companion to the game? I saw a tweet referring to using an app for quicker messaging in AC lol, but I haven’t played the game myself yet.

Aw thank you so much for asking about the gift (and for making it in the future)!! Oh dear you want ME to pick one? If I’m honest, I think Jimin and Tae light up my heart the absolute most (any vmin content gives me life but totally understand if that’s not your thing) but… please don’t ask me to… choose between them HAHA. How about you go with whoever would give you the most joy to gif right now?? I will truly be happy to receive any gift from you, regardless of who is featured. :’)) thank you dear!!

(Edit: btw who is your bias??)

I love tabletop games, and I play a lot of video games too. So don't get me wrong, I am huge into video games, but I don't play them as often. my boyfriend uses his PS4 all the time. I'm still trying to get through SpiderMan, but that's also because I don't wanna end it. I'm almost finished though. And yes! It's so hard to choose just one honestly, so I get your dilemma. And I can do vmin content! I don't gif them much and I want too. I can't wait to work on something for you! -sparkle 💫✨

Yay!! Sounds like we might have that in common. I have a huge appreciation for video games (and video game soundtracks is one of my favorite ‘genres’ of music, recognizing that they’re incredibly diverse of course), but I spend more time watching videos of other people playing them than playing them myself haha. We have a PS4 too. SpiderMan looked fun but I never tried it! I loved watching my partner play FFXV and Death Stranding. Trying to remember what I’ve actually finished on PS4, it’s been awhile lol... Everybody’s Gone to the Rapture and Rime were beautiful. I started Last Guardian but didn’t get very far before life got too busy. :( Hope I can pick it up again some day! Do you have a favorite PS4 game?

Aww you’re too kind. I’m so excited to see what you create!! And to chat with you off-anon. :) Who is your favorite member to gif?

Yes, I also like watching other people play video games, but it's rare when I do. I always end up getting distract sometimes. I've played SpiderMan, Horizon Zero Dawn, which are my favorites as well as Tomb Raider. I do really like FFXV, but i haven't played it in so long though. I can't wait to talk to you off anon either. I be having to really make sure I press the anon button. adlfkjsl I"m bad at forgetting. And Yoongi is my favorite to gif. -sparkle 💫✨

Oo I forgot I watched some of Horizon Zero Dawn too! Very impressive game. It looks like a lot of fun and I might try to play it myself in the future.. but like you said, it’s easy to get distracted. Life just likes to get in the way huh. Have you seen/heard of Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice? Intennnnse. I’m an absolute coward when it comes to horror games (or movies) and somehow my partner tricked me into playing one of the scariest parts because he got too scared HAH. That being said, as much as I love really emotionally intense games, I love soft gentle ones too… especially chill co-ops! (I’m thinking of the one we played most recently, Pode… that was on Switch though.)

Yayy Yoongi! I really do love all of BTS, and while the maknae line ran off with my heart, I have a big soft spot for Yoongi. I was never really drawn to rap/hip-hop except maybe Linkin Park like in middle school am I dating myself until I met Yoongi and just… wow. ._. He’s so expressive in his delivery, his lyrics are heart-breakingly raw and honest, and he has extraordinary range between his gentlest material and the lines that come at you with a knife. Also I’m so proud of him for continuing to work as a producer and refine those skills on top of his life as an idol. What are your favorite things about Yoongi? If you can even choose haha 💗

Lol I know what you mean, I was really paranoid the first 2 weeks about sending anon messages to my other partners on mobile because the interface was different and I was really suspicious of the term ‘public’ vs ‘private.’ And every time I send the ask for about 5 seconds I question whether or not I clicked anon.

P.S. I should keep my mouth shut but … I have an itty bitty guess of who you may be. I won’t say any more than that and I guess I’ll find out in 2 weeks whether I’m right or wrong haha. xD take care sparkle dear!!

That game was really fun honestly. I still haven't finished. And sameeee! I am not into the horror games. The movies I can do, but the games I'm just too scared to really play them. I tried Resident Evil, and I was like this is a BIG FAT NO. Lol. And I haven't heard of that game though, but it sounds intense by the name of it. I also like soft gentle ones, or the ones were it's not a lot of challenging aspects to it. I really like Spyro. The original and the remake. -sparkle 💫✨ 1/2

Linkin Park is one of my favorite groups. I love them, and miss Chester so much. Also it sounds like we're maybe around the same age because that's when I got into them maybe? And I am so proud of him for everything that he's done. Yoongi originally wasn't my bias at first. I think maybe it was going to be Taehyung, but watching their variety shows made me fall in love with him. Outside of his hard exterior, he's so sweet and loving of the boys. It's so hard to just pick one! -sparkle 💫✨2/2

Okay, so one more. Lol. Because the ask limit is so short! I get paranoid all the time, and i have to like double check to make sure I Press it. alkdjfls NOW i'm curious as to who you think I am! But I do how you have a wonderful weekend. -sparkle 💫✨

Dying over your Resident Evil reaction because... SAME lol. However. I have enjoyed watching some playthroughs of 7 and the remake of 2, which is the closest I will ever come to watching a horror movie again. xD I have really fond memories of playing Spyro at my cousin’s house as a kid, but haven’t tried the remake yet! It looks like fun too. There are too many good games to choose from, not nearly enough time to play lol.

I only really listened to a couple of Linkin Park’s old albums, but I miss Chester too. \: We could be around the same age yeah! I’ll tell you when we’re messaging off-anon. :)

If I may tell a story, my discovery of BTS went like this: heard a music clip in a YouTube ad of all places (normally skip them lol but I got it a couple times at work and thought hmm this is catchy). Then had to dive into some compilation videos to figure out which heckin song it was (turned out to be DNA). But along the way I found more songs I liked. And then I fell HARD for the Mic Drop MV (again, a little strange for me, because it’s pretty hip-hoppy). Jungkook makes this super intense expression at one moment that made me go oh. hello. So then I slowly learned who the different members were, and since this was me mostly streaming YT in the background at work haha, I had to keep switching tabs to check who was singing. I loved Jungkook’s singing but then also realized that I loved Jimin’s sweet voice too (yes I admit when I was first getting to know them, I could not always tell them apart). And THEN mister baritone Tae with his unique falsetto and delicious low range (I really wish they featured his chest voice more but OH WELL I digress) snagged my attention and ANYWAY long story short that’s how I fell in love with BTS and also the entire maknae line I guess. :’)

Hehehe I’ll tell you after the event ends if I’m right or wrong, don’t worry. It might be almost over, but I hope you had a lovely weekend too! ♥♥♥

Yes, somehow my sister convinced me to get it like she was going to play the game too, and she did not. I ended up exchanging the game because I'm like this is a waste of money. haha. I usually always skipped them too, so I totally understand. Everyone I knew liked but I had stopped listening to kpop for a while after the members of Big Bang went into enlistment (sad sad times). I first heard Dope. The FBE Youtube channel reacted to them, and I'm like OKAY GUYS. 1/3 -sparkle 💫✨

When Jungkook hits that high note I was like COME THROUGH VOCALS. So then naturally I had to go and look a few more videos. This was during around the time they had appeared on the AMAs the first time. And then I listened to I Need U and Save Me (this is one of my favorites). And I was hooked. I went and watched their Ellen interviews, and they're so sweet. I ended up binge watching their variety show and Bon Voyage and I was hooked then. -sparkle 💫✨ 2/3

Run BTS was when I realized that Yoongi was my bias. Because I'll admit that I did not like him at first, but I said that already. And then I just realized how sweet and funny he actually his. And I think he's just shy at times. At least in the beginning, but he's so handsome and his stage presence is like a 360 from him being off stage. If that makes sense. I could go on for house about Yoongi. Lol. -sparkle 💫✨3/3

The high notes in Dope are pretty ridiculous because they’re at the start of the phrase so they get little to no preparation lol. Their vocal abilities are truly impressive... and then they do it all while dancing :’)

I agree that Yoongi’s stage presence is strikingly different from his real self! Or the self we get to see in their behind-the-scenes content lol. Possibly like a lot of people, I thought he was super intimidating and tough until I saw more of him offstage... and then went awww he’s a big softie who just doesn’t pull his punches when he’s rapping and producing.

Do you have any favorite Run BTS episodes? So far I’ve only watched a handful of the recent ones, but all the random gifs and clips of older content warms my heart or makes me laugh. I’d like to eventually watch them all from the beginning... some day lol. (see all previous mentions of being too busy to do anything fun outside of work haha)

They are ridiculous. I love when they hit high notes in songs. All the boys have such a beautiful range, and I love hearing them. Especially when they do their solo songs. Jimin's solos are normally my favorite because his voice is the type I tend to lean towards a lot His stage presence is so different! Just like Jhope's. It's always so different, but it's them all in a nutshell, if that makes sense. Lol. I was in Chorus for a while, and I liked it begin in a group. -sparkle 💫✨1/2

It's easier being in a group, but I could never do it by myself. And favorite Run episode? Hmmm, there are so many that I love. I prefer some of the older episodes to some of the new ones. I'll have to find them again, but there was one where they were doing like this haunted house type of thing and it had me dying of laughter. They're all so funny though. I'm still trying to catch up with some of the new ones they've been doing. -sparkle 💫✨2/2

The vocal line is so wonderful, but I’ve been increasingly impressed with the rap line’s singing too. I have always liked the beginning of Spring Day and I confess it took me an embarrassingly long time to wonder which one of them was singing, and I was surprised to learn that it’s Namjoon. Also his low line in Louder Than Bombs is wonderful... I don’t even care if it’s probably autotuned a little lolol. And I only recently found out about the song Sea, but Tae’s chest-range melody at the very end.. UGHGHGGH it’s too. good. (DEAR BIGHIT COMPOSERS, MORE BARI PLS.)

I had to sing in choir in grad school and ended up enjoying it way more than I thought I would. (I’m a composer/pianist and I needed ensemble credit.) I’ve always been really self conscious about my voice, and now... I would love to take vocal lessons some day. While I know that no two people will play an instrument exactly the same, it’s kind of magical that you don’t know what the true sound or full potential of your own singing voice will be until you train it. Do you play any instruments? :)

The vocal line is amazing. I love all of their voices for different reasons, and sometimes I'm in the mood for one, and then another time I'm in the mood for another. If that makes sense. I haven't listened to Sea that much, but it is such a beautiful song! And you're right. His chest tone HELLO VOCALS. Lol. I'd love to take vocal lessons one day, but not sure if I ever would. And I don't play any instruments, but I would love to learn guitar one day. Lol. It's a dream of mine. -sparkle 💫✨

Hii Sparkle. I’m sorry it took me a bit to get back to you, but it really makes me happy when I receive your messages! Yess Tae’s chest voice deserves all the shouty caps all the time hehe. I hope you have the opportunity to learn the guitar someday if that’s what your dream is! Everyone starts somewhere... I would love to learn the cello too :)) one day haha.

Do you have a favorite “underrated” bts song? Just curious! Take care dear, looking forward to finding out who you are soon~

Yay! I'm glad you like hearing from me! I really like talking to you. I don't talk to many people on here sometimes, but then other times I do. So this is nice just to be able to talk with a fellow army. One day I will learn it, I just have to learn how to read music first. Lol. Because I definitely don't know how to. Hmm honestly there are a few that I feel are underrated, that i Iove. Spring Day, Hold Me Tight, and Autumn Leaves. These songs are queens! What about you? -sparkle 💫✨

Music is a lifelong learning process but it’s worth it. :’) I believe in you!!

SPRING DAY!! 🌸🌸🌸 One of my all-time favorites. I honestly might not have a very good awareness of what is underrated and what isn’t, especially among older songs, but... I love Spring Day, The Truth Untold, Jamais Vu, and most recently Sea... lol hm I’m sensing a trend of bittersweet/melancholy songs. But also House of Cards (it’s just so delightfully WEIRD and dark and different??). On the other end of the spectrum (although not sure if it’s underrated?), Silver Spoon/Baepsae. What a jam. Love to tune out the world with that one at work on one of my walk breaks if I had a frustrating day. And maybe it’s too early to tell from MOTS 7, but I get the impression that I might love Louder Than Bombs way more than the average army. And that’s okay :)

I don’t talk to or know very many people on here yet too, probably because my blog is still relatively new. So I’m very glad to be getting to know you

I loved Spring Day as soon as I heard it. I still listen to it a lot when I'm in the mood for it. It's such a beautiful song. The Truth Untold IS A QUEEN. I love that one too. Jamais Vu, I think I have to be in the mood to listen to it sometimes, but it's growing on me. House of Cards, that one I heard last year sometime and I like that one too. I don't listen to it as much. And Silver Spoon is my go too song honestly on my way to work. Louder Than Bombs is really good. -sparkle 💫✨ 1/2

I listen to that one a lot myself. I think We Are Bulletproof 2.0 maybe one, but I'm not sure either. I absolutely adore that song so much. It's such a beautiful mad song honestly. And also you're right this update is kind of weird, but I don't mind the font so much. -sparkle 💫✨2/2

Yasss I’m glad you like Truth Untold too. It’s too beautiful. I practically cried when I heard for the first time a live performance video (somewhere in Japan) where he sang a higher note in the climax than in the studio recording auuughgghgh my heart.

We Are Bulletproof pt. 2 took awhile to grow on me but I was happy when it did. I can be a little odd about the order in which I listen to songs, and usually need to listen in album order, but for some reason I really like that one after No More Dream. Also, though it’s hardly underrated, I now know what all the fuss is about Cypher pt. 3. I’ve been gradually purchasing their older albums (kinda out of order) and finally got to Dark & Wild about a month ago haha. I’m listening to all these mad songs now. Been in a weird sad mood for a lot of today tbh and... mad bts is helping a little haha. So is chatting with you!

I’m probably overreacting about the dashboard, but something about that bubbly serif font is irritating haha. And I don’t see this mythical option to revert to the old dashboard that people are talking about in their settings. Boo. I’ll get over it... eventually haha.

The Truth Untold is one of my favorites, and I normally don't like ballads a lot. It takes me a while to get into them, but this one just caught my eye. I'm learning Korean, and it's one of the ones that I can sing along too while reading the lyrics! I am super proud of that accomplishment. When I was going through their albums after I got into them, I skipped the older ones at first. I wasn't sure if I really liked them. -sparkle 💫 1/2

I listen to a select few of them on their darker albums, but a lot of it isn’t really what I like hearing. Although, I think I may revisit the albums again. It’s been a while since I actually listened to them. haha if you go to settings > dashboard you’ll see it there. Just let it load for a second, adn then it pops up. -sparkle 💫✨ 2/2

(Ugh I typed an answer and then tried to drop in a screenshot and everything disappeared. Got it, tumblr. No dropping images. REDO.)

Oo that’s awesome that you’re learning Korean! Are you self-studying? How long have you been studying? I’ve been studying Japanese for several years (very slowly lol). Then a few months ago, thanks to BTS, I was suddenly really interested in learning Korean too. I worked on memorizing hangul for a week and then had a “lol what am I doing” moment when I realized I didn’t know nearly enough Japanese yet to realistically tackle two challenging languages at the same time. So Korean is on hold for now, but I really wish I could just… magically be fluent haha. It would be amazing to understand their lyrics or interviews/conversations on the spot without relying on translations. And English is stupidly difficult, so as much as I appreciate how much effort they’ve put into learning too… as an international fan, I wish I could return that effort too and learn their language so that they don’t feel like they need to learn English.

Love Yourself: Answer was my first album and I purchased that one specifically because it was a compilation and contained most of the individual songs I already knew I liked from YouTube haha. Then I expanded from there. To be honest, if I had found BTS when they were just getting started, or anytime before HYYH, I probably wouldn’t have connected with their music, sound-wise or thematically. But… they were exactly what I needed when I did finally find them. And now I have immense appreciation for their beginnings and how far they’ve come, even loving some older songs/styles that I never expected to. As I mentioned, I don’t usually listen to pop or rap/hip-hop… like ever haha. But something about them just reached into my heart and I’ll be forever grateful to them.

I tried what you suggested (waiting on the page) and… the text kinda jumped at one point as though something else had loaded, but nothing else displayed. Am I derping around on the wrong page? \:

edit: I see it in the source code, idk why the toggle isn’t displaying for me 🙃

Yes! I am self learning. I have been doing it on and off for like two years, but the last part of last year I've been doing it most often. However with everything that's going on, it's kind of slowed down and I've just been focusing on what's going on in the world right now. I feel the same. I think if I would have found them before, I don't think I would have liked them as much as I do now. I do have an appreciation for their older music even if I don't listen it to it much. 1/3 -sparkle 💫✨

Their first two albums I didn't like as much, but everything from then on I'm pretty sure I am obsessed with when I found them out. Lol. I do remember you say that previously that you don't listen to a lot of that style of music. What do you normally like to listen to? I listen to a lot of everything, so I'm not sure if I have a genre that i really stick too. Although, I think in the beginning i listened to a lot of hiphop/rap and alternative stuff. -sparkle 💫✨ 2/3

Then the older i got the more I got into pop music because I found kpop when I was about 17, and it's been stuck to me ever since. Lol. So I don't know I like a lot of music that makes me feel good and I can dance too or sing along with. I think maybe it depends on my mood. Lol . -sparkle 💫✨3/3

I think that’s awesome that you’re working on learning the language on your own! And I understand the challenges of keeping it up independently, especially in such strange and challenging times... I feel guilty that I stopped my daily kanji studying pretty much as soon as I started working from home. It was initially because I used my commute time to study (I’m in a vanpool) and... definitely lost some motivation once everything started changing. I know I shouldn’t be too hard on myself though for taking a break, and I hope you are not either. I’m hoping to get back into soon and reform some study time habits :)

Yeah it sounds like you’ve been listening to Kpop for a long time! ^^ Aside from my fairly recent BTS obsession, I gravitate toward moodier music in general haha. Evanescence was my instant favorite way back in middle school and... tbh I still listen to their albums sometimes! I tended to like anything indie-ish with piano or rock + orchestra. I loved this European band Within Temptation, their music is like a blend of rock and symphonic orchestra. Nowadays, I love video game music and that’s probably what I listen to the most... Nobuo Uematsu (Final Fantasyyy), who is probably one of my biggest inspirations for pursuing composition, Austin Wintory (Journey, Abzu, etc), and more recently Jessica Curry (everything the Chinese Room studio made lol). The past few days I’ve been streaming the songs from Death Stranding. I admit I don’t tend to have a lot of variety... I’m kind of picky and when I find something I love, I will listen to that obsessively over and over for months on end. Like BTS. xD No regrets haha! But I know I should broaden my horizons too...

I'm trying not to be so hard on myself, but I know I'll get back into it soon as I set a schedule for myself. Evanescence is amazing, that's all I got to say. I love them so much, so I totally get it. That's interesting though. I love learning about others music interest. It's always so different and diverse from mine. And also, I realized I didn't answer your question about the dash, and for some reason I don't know why it's not showing up. You were in the right place though. -sparkle 💫✨

Yayy glad you like Evanescence! Yes it is amazing and also wonderful that we all have unique tastes. I know I should make a better effort to try out new things, because finding something new that I connect with is amazing (see: BTS hehe).

I'm so excited to meet you next week!! Please take care and enjoy the rest of your weekend 💗

Sometimes it’s harder to really step out the box. So I totally understand, but I’ve always kind of had “weird” taste in different music so I like listening to whatever it is I like! And yes! I can’t to show you what I’m working on. I’m still searching for things for it! Lol. So I hope you like it. Also I hope you have an amazing week! And also a good day! -sparkle ✨💫

I woke up way earlier than planned thanks to this new isolation insomnia, but I was so happy to see your message. 💜 I’m so excited to meet you, but don’t feel like you have to rush on the gift! I know whatever you make will be wonderful. I hope you have a great week too. Do you have any ~weird~ music suggestions? I’ll give them a try!

I totally understand how that is. I hate waking up earlier than I want too because then you don't want to get up out of bed, but then you're too awake to go back to sleep. At least that's how i feel. Hmmm, weird music suggestions? I'm not entire sure. I like Florence and the Machine, FK Twigs (this might be an acquired taste), Panic at the Disco. There's so much I listen too, and my mind is going blank. Lol. -sparkle ✨💫

Yeah, that was my feeling exactly. :( At least I put in a couple extra hours of work, so I’ll get to take a shorter Friday. Or whichever day we try to brave a grocery run.

Thank you, I will check them out! Hehe due to your comment, I am intrigued by FK Twigs. For some reason I couldn’t really get into Panic at the Disco in high school, even though I had friends who loved them, but... I do appreciate that someone made an Emote! at the Location bot on twitter. xD

I hope you are having a good week so far! Tbh mine has been a little gloomy, but... I am really looking forward to meeting you! And finding out if my guess is right haha :’)) Take care dear!

And I loved Panic! They were so good, I still love them or Brendon Urie. Lol. FK Twigs is really good, but I know she's not for everyone. I really enjoy her music honestly. And honestly, I'm just about finished with your gif set. I have to find a few more videos and I'll post it probably tomorrow or later tonight depending on when I finish. And hmm, I don't know I don't think it is, but it shouldn't be long though. however, I'm really curious to know who you think I am. -sparkle ✨💫

EEek I’m so excited!! (Please don’t stay up late just for me though!)

As much as I am terrible at branching out, I do enjoy finding new music I like, so thank you again for the suggestions! I will try to listen with open ears and mind haha. Have you heard of Fleurie? I stumbled across her music when an artist I followed made a piece inspired by some of her lyrics. She might be quite a bit different than the artists you recommended though.

I’m going to feel a little silly if I’m wrong, but I’ll tell you after the reveal so I don’t make a fool of myself early. xD Can I ask you one question – do you know your Myer-Briggs type?

I'll probably go to bed soon. I'm actually in bed. I just got stuck on the tiktok app, and I really shouldn't. I've never heard of her, but I'll have to check her out tomorrow and see what she's about. And yes! I do know my Myers-Briggs type! -sparkle ✨💫

Oops you fell down the internet rabbit hole before bed :) Hope you didn’t stay up too late and got enough rest!

Love and War is the first song I found by Fleurie, and it’s also the title of one of her albums. It’s a little bit older but probably my favorite overall! I love the song Hurts Like Hell. It’s devastating but beautiful.

Have a great day, hope to talk to you more soon! 💜

p.s. I’m INFJ ✨

I did fall down the rabbit hole of the internet. It always happens. Also you should check out Kerli! she's really interesting, and I really like her music. Her music videos are also really nice. Intriguing at most. Lol. And I'm infj too! -sparkle ✨💫

I know the reveal has been made, but I didn’t want to leave this sitting all alone in my inbox.

Thank you, Ash, for taking the time not only to make me a beautiful gift but to talk with me this past month. Thank you for being a light and comfort in these uncertain times. I will miss your little surprise messages, but I hope we keep in touch. Now I will go back to liking your wonderful posts (because I confess I held back once I started to guess who you were, I didn’t want you to be suspicious either HAH). I’ve said it a lot but I really hope you stay safe, healthy, and happy!! 💗✨💫💗

#network events #secret bunny exchange #asks #sparkle #yoonqiful #this really made my march better :')

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tiny-ruby-seeds · 6 years

Text

Been debating on posting this theory for a bit now but I’ve recently decided... You know what?

Why not?

If I’m wrong then I’m wrong. Cool. Worse comes to worse we get to chat about things. And I got a read more as it’s gonna be a long one... Sorry to the Michael stans in advanced...

This may hurt.

Okay... Been rewatching the last episode "Return to the Murder House" as well as "The Morning After" and "Forbidden Fruit" bit lately.

One because JESSICA LANGE IS A BEAST and GODS did I miss Queen Constance Langdon. Two because... Our Return felt... off.

Not because of the slew of Omen references cause that was to be expected. In fact, I was going to be upset if we didn't have on crazy person yell "IT'S ALL FOR YOU MICHAEL!" at least once (which we did btw right before that poor girl got Aztec style sacrificed. Why does it always gotta be the heart? Ouch!). But because I felt like there were holes in Constance's, Ben's, and possibly even Vivian's stories when we compare all of the details Michael himself has said about what he does.

Not big ones but...

Enough that I couldn't help but wonder when rewatching a few times why it bugged me. It took my rewatching "Forbidding Fruit" & "Could it be... Satan?" that it hit me what it was.

Now we've seen Michael kill- like actually without a doubt kill on screen- three times now.

Once the asshole Butcher (seriously, who cares what's she's using it for? It's just a goat's head and if she wants to pay for it, why not?)...

... The second that Cop who was "interrogating" him (more like “beat the hell out him” ), and the third the Cop who saw him escaping (who probably would have posted his and Ariel's pictures Everywhere, let’s be real here). All of whom- Well in Michael's mind- deserved it or did so to protect himself.

Now I know they were throw away characters but... It's curious that we saw it compared to his "earlier" kills.

In fact... Thos earlier kills were right there, right in front of us in all it's shocking & horrifying glory. All of the characters even had lines for goodness sakes.

But some of his big kills this episode... Nothing but dead bodies.

The couple who moved into the house had a few lines, sure, but not enough to really stick out save for "Same-Sex Couple that Bought the house" (I'm not going to touch their sexualities on this theory cause I'm sure there are many rants posted online on this & I cannot say anything that hasn't been said before other than the fact I groaned quite a bit when it happened... Again. Sigh

Anyway...)

We never got a proper introduction to them as Constance, Ben, and possibly Vivian only focused on the end of the encounter. Strange huh? Well...

Of course, we wouldn't see it, the Harmons and Constance are telling their story of this “Terrible Monstrous Boy” killing people (I'm not going to touch the animals in this theory as I think that's purely his demonic nature coming out like a cat, as horrifying as it was & he appears to have stopped after his... Uhh... growth spurt). But we didn't see Constance hire the nanny or bring in the priest & we only saw the ladies who bought the home when they moved in.

So why is that exactly? Is it because they are throw away characters? But even most throwaway characters have a few lines, and the Harmons walked around the house before they bought they didn’t move in right away (although as someone who works in the housing market that purchased bugged the hell out of me but that is something else). So why did we seen them like this in particular?

Well... That’s where things get interesting.

Now we all know the Harmons and Constance are the narrators of this story but- let's be real here- they are the definition of unreliable narrators.

In fact, I would call them Unreliable AF. Ben and Vivian's daughter was dead for weeks until they found out. Constance didn't notice the warning signs with Tate spiraling among a slew of other things until the SWAT team was bursting down his door.

So yeah... un-freaking-reliable.

And, seeing as Michael was so "unnatural and different" (he's a freaking cambion okay? It comes with the territory- Merlin was one too and all the King Arthur stories wax poetic on how freaky his shit was) Of course they would focus on the deaths themselves. However... With what we know on Michael.

It doesn't add up.

I know a bunch of people are going to flood my inbox with the whole "HE'S THE ANTICHRIST" but... Think about it. He's supposed to be the essence of evil, however, he is still part human and humans have free will right? I can’t say I’ve read the whole Bible but from what I’ve gathered that was a major part of the start & another reason the angel’s became jealous and fell after all right? Plus he said himself...

"I've never been a fan of getting my hands dirty..."

So why would he willing get his hands dirty? If there is anything I know about kids its that if they don’t want to do something they will not do it. Period.

Soo... Why would he stab and kill that couple? Why would he kill his nanny and look so proud of being bloody from it of it afterward? Why would he kill that Priest and shrug it off?

Curious.

But I think I may know why...

Michael has stated he has a talent or (as I’d like to call it) a "superpower" of sorts. Maybe it’s because of his demonic heritage, maybe it’s because he’s a child of both the living and the dead and they say in death all of life’s questions are answered (Addy had said she knew what Tate had done via Billie Dean after all). Either way he even gave it a name of sort in calling it a "night vision of the soul"...

...It's how he was able to wind everyone up and watch them go up until a few apples showed up. And it’s this power in particular that when rewatching caught my attention.

Now... we know he's had powers since he was very young if the other little hints of his power as a baby are any hint & from we can gather he age normally for a time and dead flies without their wings when he can barely move his fingers? Come now. So when did this power really awaken?

I think I know when and -In fact- I think we all do...

With the death of his Nanny.

Now I may be going off the rails here but... Stay with me.

I think he may have seen something in his Nanny, Flora thanks to his “Night Vision”. Something that caused him to... react.

We've all heard horror stories of the babysitter being a bad egg and we all know how Ryan loves to play with these old horror stories (uuuh it's in the title, American Horror Story duh!). So what if he saw her doing something?

What if he looked into her soul and saw other kids she's killed and swept under the rug? What if he could sense something terrible?

What if he sensed her about to hurt him and his grandma?

We all know Constance wouldn't have noticed if there was anything wrong, if the nanny doing her job right, she was "the help" after all. And as much as We love Constance...

Yeaah...

That would explain a bit about why little Michael looked so happy as he sat in his rocking chair, why he waved to grandma as if it were no major thing while there was a dead body less then five feet away? After all, he was using his powers in a way she would be sure to call healthy -it wasn't animals anymore after all (thank gods)- and a bad lady who would hurt him and grandma was gone now.

But this wasn't the first time that Michael would have to deal with these particular powers.

Oh no... Michael’s aged overnight and then Constance's "divine intervention" which led to another dead body:

That dead Priest at the edge of Michael's bed.

Yeah...

I don't think I have to get into the current events with the church and the things they've hidden under the rug. Heck, it’s pretty well documented. So can we all really say we would be surprised if Michael sensed something bad there?

And the fact that they were IN MICHAEL'S ROOM especially got me when I started to think about it and... I gotta say I got the shivers from that scene for a very very different reason.

But, like most things with Michael when he really started this power, this gift was uncontrollable. Michael being so young and growing up so soon. What if he couldn't turn it off? Think about it... A Small child in a young man’s body with terrible things were being broadcasted to him and all he knew was how to was react to them like a mirror with light.

"...All people, given the right pressures and stimulus are evil mother fuckers."

I think that's he suddenly attacked Constance as well.

And let's be real here, as much as we love Queen Langdon, her skeleton's have overrun her closet and they are even a few buried in her backyard.

But he gained control, he saw it was his Grandma before him and he looked as horrified as we all felt in that moment (our first watch).

Maybe then he started to realize... He couldn't keep doing this. Attacking people. It was bad... He was becoming like them. And besides... it was grandma and she was nice to him. She loved him & he loved her!

Okay maaaaybe I'm going all fan fiction here but with how he was so heartbroken when he saw her dead, why he blamed himself so much.

Why he said a few words that I may have cried when he said it-

“I’m a monster! Why would you want to help me?!”

Ouch.

Needless to say Ben showing up when he did was probably one of the best things to happen to him for the brief moment. Ben became a father he never had and encouraged him to be good.

But that wasn't the only reason he wanted to be good. The spirits whispered to him...

About his biological father.

Now I honestly don’t think all Tate's actions were not just influenced by the house or the devil here but some were his own (once agian, free will kids). But regardless... Tate had changed. I think losing Violet made him actually change after all he's probably more of a sociopath, and not a psychopath as everything he did was for Violet (it wasn't healthy but he cared about her a hella ton more then the Joker cares for Harley Quinn). He had admitted to all things he did... Once. And maybe the other spirits told him about it.

Kids have a tendency to want to be like their parents and I could see him all but worshipping Tate. If his “father” changed, maybe he could too? Maybe he could be good one day? Maybe he could accept people and all the ugly parts of them?

Ben thought he could do it.

So maybe his "dad" could too?

Well... of course, we all know how well THAT turned out.

Sigh

Tate...

You're an interesting, multi-layered, and complicated character and I love you for it but... YOU. ARE. A.GREAT. BIG. BAG. OF. DICKS.

Freaking hell dude

Anyway, Michael spiraled downwards and pretty hardcore.

Like Ben said, all of the dark parts of the house started to whisper to him and he followed suit...

However, that part with Elizabeth Short gave me some pause that he was 100% gone with how our “The Black Dahlia“ was at the end of season 1 (Hell she was pretty ecstatic she became a famous murder victim). She probably asked him to recreate the moment she “Became Somebody” & the kid probably thought he was doing her a favor as it made the pretty lady happy (Kids are weird bro, part demon or no). But I doubt Ben knows about that bit.

He only said what he saw.

Didn't exactly ask Micheal on the "why" here and I have to admit I headdesked as he DIDN'T TEAR MICHAEL AWAY. Cause...

SERIOUSLY?

Aren’t you supposed to be a better parent then you are a therapist?!

Ugghhhhhh

And then... The biggest hole in this slew of flashbacks happened.

The new couple showed up and bought the house.

Now we saw them how Ben saw them, not how Michael did. We saw a nice same-sex couple. But...

Who knows what Michael saw?

We didn’t see them look at the house or buy it... Only after they moved in. So there’s a part missing in this story.

Whatever it was something that really really set him off, he was waiting for them when they moved in, dressed in latex & did the one thing he hated to do...

...Get his hands dirty.

But he didn't stop there.

When Ben said they would be trapped in the house forever... What did Michael do?

He destroyed them entirely (or so it looks like of course, I was getting some hardcore "Drag me to Hell" vibes TBH but that's just me) in such a venomous way I was reminded instantly of the cop in the police station.

Do we know why he did it?

Do we know how he found out the house was going to be sold?

Nope.

Ben kinda missed that detail entirely. Interesting seeing as the kid was kinda a squatter at this point. But with the relish, Michael had when he did it... I wonder.

What gets's me the most about that particular scene is how Michael looked so hurt when Ben said he was a “lost cause” and gave up on him.

He had mentioned in "Could it Be... Satan?" he Miss Mead had been the one person who hadn’t betrayed him.

Did Ben know something more... Did he neglect in saying something to Madison & Behold? Would it really surprise you all if maybe he had? Ben has a glorious track record for doing the wrong thing at the wrong time.

Either way Michael was alone.

For the first time.

Told by another person he was a lost cause...

Evil.

And my guess as to why:

Because he could see the evil in others.

Imagine his surprise when a group of people come to his door at night and all but worship him & be willing to show him the so-called truth cause you know he knew he was different at this point?

They did terrible things sure, but they were kind to him. His Grandma had done the same but she hadn't accepted him. These people did, and they were willing to do something bad so he could know what they knew...

It was probably the first time anyone had really done anything for him....

... And when he bit into the heart of that girl...

Well...

That was all she wrote.

He was told he was evil so many times... He started to believe it. And hearing his so-called "true father's" voice...

Now keep in mind this is all a theory and maybe, I’m reading into nothing. Seeing shapes in smoke but...

Cody has said a few times that the first few episodes gave certain things away. And well all know Ryan has a tendency to make us feel sorry for some of the most horrifying people ever. I won’t be surprised if he turns the Antichrist into something equally tragic. His own version of Lucifer’s fall and... Maybe his redemption as well. I guess we’ll find out as we continue on.

But... TLDR-

I don’t we got the whole story from the Murder House, not with how important it is to Michael’s character. There are two sides to every story. Don’t consider us “Murder House” survivors just yet...

It’s only a matter of time until we have to go back and I get the feeling more Michael back story is gonna hurt...

#michael langdon #constance langdon #ben harmon #vivien harmon #tate langdon #ahs theories

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keepcalmimthecupcake · 5 years

Text

She’s From Boston part 8

Steve McGarrett x ofc

Word count : 1616

Warnings: None

A/N: I have and will be taking some creative liberties as to Sophie’s schooling. Kind of combining a few different ways schools run and such. Shhhh. Just let it happen. XD Once again, thanks to my lovely beta @fandomoniumflurry If you want to catch up on the series, here is where you can find the other parts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Feedback is lovely and fuels my muse’s fire. If you enjoy my work and would like to buy me a coffee, you can do so here. You can find all my works here.

H50 taggers:

@fandomoniumflurry

@hawaiianohana15

Steve had taken Sophie to the Culinary Institute of the Pacific admissions office less than an hour after she’d disclosed more of her past to him and had waited there while she filled out her application. There was a fee, of course, and of course the commander paid for it, much to Sophie’s dismay. She appreciated his help, but she didn’t want him paying her way all the time. “Consider it an investment in the future.” he said, echoing Michael’s words before she’d left Massachusetts. “You learn to cook even better than you already do, I get to reap the rewards of being your guinea pig. It’s a win-win situation.” Steve stated with a bright smile. Sophie couldn’t argue with him, especially when he flashed that mesmerizing grin at her.

She was anxious and on edge every time she checked the mail for the next week and a half. The admissions process was stressful with all the waiting. This was the only school she’d applied to so far and if she got in, she could start within a month. She busied herself with cleaning up the house. Laundry was done, floors swept and mopped, windows washed, on just the first day. Steve came home that night and chuckled as he looked around. “The place hasn’t been this clean in years. You know, you don’t have to do everything in one day.” He gave her a smile and a gentle hug. “It looks really good but seriously. Don’t wear yourself out. You’ve done a lot today. Junior should be here soon. Let’s all go grab dinner somewhere.”

That night was her first time at the restaurant of the Hilton Hawaiian Village. She’d stayed there two weeks when she first arrived, but never dined in their restaurant, always choosing cheaper food from a small grocery store a few streets over. The place was fantastic! The entertainment was amazing and of course, the company was great. She found herself examining the food when it was brought to them, noticing how it was presented and other such things she was sure to learn when she got into cooking school. It wouldn’t hurt to take some notes beforehand.

The dinner was great and by the time the trio arrived back home, Sophie was more than ready to fall into bed. The next few days she busied herself with some light cleaning and some reading. On the third afternoon, she decided to go online to see if there was a craft store nearby. To her happiness, there was! And, she discovered, it was on the bus line. She took what little money she had left and made her way to the shop.

She hadn’t been in a craft store in many years. Brian had never allowed her to do much that she sought pleasure in. Crocheting certainly was off the list. But as she looked around at the rows and rows of different yarns on the shelves, her eyes glistened with tears. She remembered sitting on Nana and Papa’s front porch trying to learn how to begin a project. It took her a few times, but Nana had been very patient with her and exclaimed with joy when she finally got it right.

The blanket that she’d abandoned after her parents were killed still sat unfinished in a box in Michael and Lydia’s garage. Maybe one day she would finish it. But now, she wanted to begin something new. She picked out several skeins of yarn, the colors of camouflage, and found a few hooks that were the sizes she would need. Once the items were purchased, she made her way back to the house and begun what would be a gift for Steve.

Over the next several days, after her housework duties were finished, she worked on the commander’s present. It got a little frustrating on a few parts, but she was able to figure it out and things were coming along quite nicely now. It was almost finished. On day nine, Steve had come in with a few pieces of mail. “Is there a Miss Sophie Russo in the house?” he’d called out, a bright smile on his face. “I have what could be a very important letter for her.”

Sophie rushed out from the kitchen where she was fixing herself a light snack and snatched the envelope from him. She tore it open and her eyes began welling up with tears as she read. She had to read it over a few times before the message sank in. “I got in.” she stated flatly. “They…...I GOT IN!” Her face broke into a huge smile and she flung her arms around around Steve’s neck. “Thank you, Steve!” She showed him the letter, the smile never leaving her face. He, too, was all smiles as he read the letter and congratulated her. “This calls for a celebration! I need to make some calls.”

He went upstairs to shower and make his calls as she sat looking over the materials the package contained. She’d have to get some supplies and books, but that could wait til tomorrow at least. Tonight, she would bask in this victory to reclaiming herself in full. When Steve came back down, he informed her that they were going out for dinner with the ohana. Jerry, Kamekona, Flippa, Lou, Adam, Tani, Danny and Junior would be joining them to celebrate Sophie’s big day.

She once again took some note of how the food was presented but didn’t allow herself to think too much on this. Instead, she got caught up in the atmosphere of the night. Their party was a little boisterous, but everyone was in good spirits and she laughed more than she had for a very long time. That was, until the waitress kept trying to make passes at Steve. Sophie scowled slightly at this, but didn’t say anything. Steve was free to talk to or date whoever he wanted to. One of the times, she noticed Adam looking at her during a scowl and he raised a brow. She quickly looked away and was very interested in the conversation Jerry was having with Lou.

Several times this waitress came back and tried to capture Steve’s attention and it annoyed Sophie. Still, she kept quiet about it. She didn’t understand why she was feeling so annoyed by this. Steve was her friend, her roommate, her employer even. Why was this stupid waitress getting on her nerves so much? Steve hadn’t responded to her advances, Sophie was glad to see, but that didn’t stop the wench from trying. Maybe she’s just trying a little too hard to get a good tip Sophie thought, and put the girl out of her mind to enjoy the rest of the evening.

Much food and many drinks later, the group dispersed to go home. Steve, only having had a couple beers, drove Tani and Danny home, then returned for Sophie and Junior. Once they arrived back home, Sophie sleepily wished the two men a good night and trudged up to her room. She’d intended to work more on Steve’s blanket, but instead she fell on her bed and went right to sleep.

The next morning when she woke, the house was empty. There was a note from Steve on the fridge telling her that they’d had to get to the office early today. She went about making herself some breakfast then did the dishes before putting a load of laundry in the machine. While the clothes were washing, she sat down and worked on the blanket. With any luck, she’d have it finished by this afternoon. The sun was bright and just as she decided she wanted to go sit in the back yard and read for a bit, there was a knock on the door.

She opened the door and was surprised when a delivery man from a florists’ shop stood there. “Sophie Russo?” he asked and she nodded. He smiled and pushed a beautiful arrangement of flowers toward her. “If you could sign right here……” She signed his paper and thanked him, then took the vase inside. There was a card in the middle that said simply “To Sophie. From your secret admirer.”

Her brows narrowed as she thought about who these could be from. She didn’t know many people here yet and most of those she did were already taken. None of them had shown any interest in her in that manner. She allowed herself a smile when she wondered if they were from Steve. This would be something he would do just to brighten her day, but it was still early and he was at work. He wouldn’t have had time to call for the delivery. Then panic set in when she thought about someone else they could be from. Had Brian found her? Did he know where she was staying? Suddenly, she didn’t want to be home alone anymore.

She was startled by the buzzing of the washer indicating that the load was finished. She quickly shoved the clothes in the dryer, turned it on and made her way outside and across the street to Miss Kala’s home. She knocked on the door and was glad when the woman answered. Sophie asked for a ride into town and Kala grabbed her keys and the pair was off. Sophie tried to keep her panic to a minimum and not let anyone know she was upset. When she got to the office, she greeted Jerry with a smile. “Hey, Jerry. Mind if I hang out a little while? It was kind of boring sitting at the house by myself.” was all that was offered as an explanation.

#She's From Boston #Hawaii Five-0 #H50 #Hawaii Five-0 fic #H50 fic #Steve McGarrett #boo writes

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lost-n-stereo · 6 years

Text

draw back your bow (let your arrow go)

Summary: Clarke Griffin doesn’t want to join Cupid’s Arrow, Los Angeles’ newest online dating site but her mother insists she at least give it a try. Enter “Fake Blake”, a man claiming to be Bellamy Blake, TV’s hottest new up and coming actor. With a profile photo that can’t be found on the internet, to stories only the man himself could tell, Clarke starts to wonder if her online crush could be her celebrity crush too. Modern Romantic Comedy AU

Part 1 - [Tumblr] [AO3]

Part 2 - Bellamy

Bellamy is always surprised when people stop him and ask for autographs.

He’s currently stopped in the middle of Target, a group of teenage girls surrounding him, but he loves it. The fact that people care enough about him to want a photo or his signature on some random scrap of paper is humbling.

“Can you sign my pop figure?” A girl no older than twelve or thirteen hands over a Robert Moore boxed figurine that Bellamy has at home, sitting next to a framed copy of the pilot script.

“Yeah, of course,” he grins and signs his name over the plastic sheeting on the front of the box. “This thing is pretty cool, I have one too.” The girl blushes when he smiles at her.

Her mother thanks him after they take a couple of selfies and then he’s making his way around the circle until everyone has gotten a photo with him.

When he’s alone again, and he hates to think finally because he loves his fans but yeah, sometimes it’s a little overwhelming.

Eight years ago he was auditioning for anything and everything, working as a waiter to make the rent. Six months after moving to Los Angeles he auditioned for The Ark, a new CW show that had high hopes of being the next Battlestar Galactica. He won the role of Robert Moore, a young but determined Ark guard, and almost a year to the day after he moved here the first episode premiered.

Seven years later and he can honestly say he never thought any of this would be happening.

His phone buzzes in his pocket and he grins when he sees a text from Clarke.

Clarke: Morning Fake Blake. How goes the “entertainment business” on this fine Friday afternoon?

This girl, he thinks as he thumbs in a response. She’s so quick to assume that he’s not being truthful with her but she still makes a point to text him. It doesn’t make any sense but he loves it.

Bellamy: I just got cornered in the cereal aisle by fifteen teenage girls.

Clarke: Ooh. And what kind of cereal did you decide on?

Bellamy: Chex .

Clarke: Gross! What are you, 50 years old?

Bellamy: I’m 26, brat.

He laughs at her response, a series of side eye emojis, and pushes his cart to the checkout. His phone buzzes again but this time it’s a call from his ex that he immediately silences. Why she would be calling him when they have been broken up for weeks is beyond him.

There’s another text from Clarke waiting for him when he’s done packing his groceries up in the back of his Jeep.

Clarke: So tell me the truth…when are you going to give up this Bellamy Blake thing?

Bellamy: Uhh…when I’m dead, I guess?

Clarke: …….

Clarke: I wish you could just be real with me.

Bellamy sighs and rests his head on his seat. He really likes this girl but he doesn’t know how to make her take him seriously. They have been texting back and forth for a week, after she agreed to give him her phone number so they didn’t have to use the Cupid’s Arrow app anymore. He saved her profile photo so it pops up whenever she texts him. He even asked his little sister Octavia the best way to go about this. Her advice was to man up and ask her to meet which he’s starting to think might be his only option.

Bellamy: Have you stopped to think, even once, that maybe I’m telling you the truth? Honestly, Clarke. What do I have to gain by lying to you?

Clarke: I really don’t know.

His phone rings, his manager this time, and he rolls his eyes as he takes the call.

“Blake, do I have news for you!”

Bellamy switches from his phone to Bluetooth and starts the drive back to his place.

“What’s up, Tom?”

“How do you feel about starring in a romantic comedy?”

Bellamy groans as he gets on the 101. “Is it a lame romantic comedy?”

His agent laughs. “No! It’s going to be hilarious. Written by Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. This could be great for your career, Bell. The audition is next Thursday but it’s just a formality. They want you, so think about it!”

Tom hangs up without saying goodbye, which seems to be the L.A. way, and Bellamy does think about what a movie of this caliber could do for his career. So far he’s only starred in a few features, low budget horror films or indie stuff he did with friends. This could be his chance to break into mainstream movies, even if it’s not necessarily in his wheelhouse.

When he’s stuck in traffic, he looks around to make sure no cops are in the general vicinity before pulling his phone into his lap.

Bellamy: Do you think I could pull off a romantic lead?

Clarke: If you’re asking if I think Bellamy Blake could be a romantic lead, then sure. I don’t see why not.

Bellamy rolls his eyes. There she goes again with the distrust.

Bellamy: Thanks. I think.

She sends a string of laughing emojis, so he calls her a brat again and tosses his phone in the passenger seat so he doesn’t get a ticket.

***

“That’s a wrap for today! See you all tomorrow, bright and early at 8 am.”

Bellamy sags against the prop couch he’s sitting on and pulls his phone out of his pocket. There are no less than thirty new notifications since the last time he checked but none are from Clarke.

His best friend Monty drops down onto the couch next to him and sighs. “These seventeen hour days are fucking killing me.”

Bellamy nods and puts his phone back into his pocket. “Yeah, they suck. I just want to go home and crash.”

Monty grins and nudges him with his elbow. “Don’t lie to me. You want to go home and message the hot girl from that dating app.”

Fuck, he never should have told Monty about Clarke. The only reason he did was because Monty caught him sending her a text in the middle of a scene when the camera wasn’t on him.

“She doesn’t believe that I’m me,” Bellamy tells him. “Basically all of our messages so far are me telling her that I’m being real with her and then her telling me that I’m some crazy guy trying to lie to get girls.”

“So, send her a picture. Won’t that prove it?”

Bellamy thinks it over and then shrugs. “Maybe but anything can be photoshopped these days. I doubt anything I send would be real enough for her.”

He’s not really sure why he even cares. Yeah, Clarke is gorgeous. The photo she posted on Cupid’s Arrow, with her windblown blonde curls and shy smile made him instantly want to get to know her. There was something about how free and calm she looked that made him wonder if she could be different than most of the women that he knows in this town.

Women like his ex, Echo.

The complete train wreck that was their relationship is the exact reason he stepped away from the Hollywood dating scene in the first place. They got along great at first, having met when Echo played a character on his show before moving on to the spinoff. It was the long hours on set that bonded them quickly and they went from coworkers to lovers in a very short span of time. He thinks not truly knowing the other person was the reason for their breakup. She took it harder than he thought she would when he ended things, and he’s still dealing with the repercussions today.

He tells Monty he’ll see him tomorrow as he pushes himself off the couch and calls for a car to drive him back to his house. It’s nearing one am and there’s no way he trusts himself to drive even though it’s barely a fifteen minute trip.

To say he’s surprised when he gets a message from Clarke on the ride home would be an understatement.

Clarke: Let’s pretend for a minute that you ARE Bellamy Blake. Tell me something only he would know.

He laughs out loud and thumbs in a response.

Bellamy: And how would you know something that I would say when you don’t know me? Also, why are you up so late?

Her message comes back right away.

Clarke: I don’t know, figure something out. And I’m studying for a test. Why are you up so late?

Bellamy: Pushing 12+ hour days this week filming. Today ended up being almost 17. I’m just now heading home.

There’s no response for awhile so he pockets his phone and rests his head back with his eyes closed until he reaches his place. It’s not a huge mansion or anything, just a decent sized house that he purchased when The Ark went into its third season. The network had basically promised them at least six seasons so he figured it was a good time to put down some roots. Now they are in their seventh season with no end in sight so he’s happy to have a real home to come back to every night and not some shitty apartment in the city.

Clarke still hasn’t responded by the time he’s getting into bed almost an hour later. After he showered and washed off the past seventeen hours of work, he practically fell into bed. He lies there for awhile, staring up at the ceiling and wondering what he could tell her to make her believe him. A thought pops into his head and he smiles, reaching for his phone to send her a message.

Bellamy: Are you a fan of the show?

He doesn’t have to wait long before her reply comes through.

Clarke: If I’m being honest, it’s my favorite. Why?

He mentally pumps his fist in the air because this? This he can work with. His sister was right. The only way she’s going to believe him is if she meets him.

Bellamy: Come by the set and visit me. I can get you and a friend day passes to come meet the cast.

Her response is immediate.

Clarke: There is no way this is real. I can’t give you my address to send some imaginary passes to my doorstep.

Bellamy: I’ll send you an address. Give them your name and they will let you in. Next Wednesday?

It’s less than a week away and he hopes that she’ll give him a chance to prove he’s telling the truth. He doesn’t know why he wants her to believe him so badly, maybe because he really thinks there could be a connection there.

Clarke: Fine. But if I show up at some abandoned warehouse, I’m out.

Bellamy laughs and types in the address of the studio, tells her to be there Wednesday at noon.

Maybe, just maybe, when she sees her name on the approved guest list, she’ll finally see that he’s been telling her the truth all along.

#bellarke #bellarke fanfiction #bffnet #modern au #verse: cupid's arrow #fanfic

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crasherfly · 3 years

Text

I thought I’d have something important to talk about today...

About 30 minutes into my therapy appointment I had run out of things to talk about. I had done my best to summon...something...anything...to the surface.

But I had nothing. I got nothing for this space either.

I’m doin’ fine. Like, I’m not any worse than normal or anything. I just...am having kinda a blank week/month. It happens.

I’m trying to get back into running now that the gym is closed. It’s hell. I miss my weights. I know I’m going to be okay. It’s just going to take some time to really get my head around this. There are bigger problems in the world than my personal fitness and self-image. I have better safeguards in place for myself, emotionally, so I know I’ll come out of this better than I did during the the start of the pandemic. I’m taking this as an opportunity to improve and come out stronger in a different way.

I’m still sober. Haven’t decided if I’ll have a beer or two for Thanksgiving. I didn’t give this much thought when I started. But now I’m here. I guess I’ll have more thoughts when and if I end this streak. I wouldn’t say that it’s been a lifechanging experience, but it’s been good to break routines and try something new.

Haven’t done much else beyond the usual gaming and other nonsense. More on that below. :)

Aight let’s talk about games.

I picked up a new TV this week at Best Buy! I’m uh, like, a third of the way ready for the new generation! If it’s a bad tv, please don’t @ me. We got the one that made the most sense for us.

Now just gotta find a Series X and a Yamaha receiver that can do 4k. Simple. Right? RIGHT?

Had sorta a light week for games. I worked a lot on DND stuff this week- more on that below, or, if you’re especially curious, you can find my DND blog HERE.

Red Dead Redemption 2 (PS4)

I’m not sure what prompted me to get back to the world of Red Dead Redemption 2. I had no prior inkling that there would be anything newsworthy happening in RDR2- but of course, we now know that soon Red Dead Online will be a stand-alone game of its own, the single player campaign relegated to the backseat as an add-on feature.

I first spent time with the single player world. Needless to say, spoilers to follow here, so if you’re still behind on this game’s story- well, read no further.

Still with me? Great. Okay, so it’s no shock that Arthur dies at the end of RDR2. It had to happen. It’s a damn shame because i found him infinitely more relatable than John Marston of the original game, but to each their own.

Arthur dies and you go through a kind of reset where you take over the story, such as what’s left of it, as John Martson. It’s a bit of a momentum killer, from a power curve point of view, but from a narrative view- it’s necessary. The ending to the main “campaign” is pretty good. You get revenge and the story wraps up nicely in anticipation for the the start of the game that...released a generation ago.

I...okay, I’m not getting into this here. This isn’t about my thoughts on the campaign, which I swear are mostly positive! (I actually think RDR2′s story is far and away superior to the first game’s, and it’s not a close contest, prequel issues aside) This is about why I came back to RDR2.

I guess I needed a big, immersive game world to get lost in for a while. And RDR2 certainly offers that. It doesn’t quite have the variety of its big brother, Grand Theft Auto 5. And it isn’t nearly as spontaneous as say, Yakuza 0. But it is still very, very big and chock full of narrative secrets. So much so that I found myself surprised by how much game was still there after the final credits rolled.

I took my hand at bounty hunting, bought a few new pieces of equipment I hadn’t seen before, and trolled around towns as a downtrodden, violence prone John Marston. I found some new secrets I hadn’t seen before, including a couple of cinematic moments with characters from the previous story. It was fun! I killed probably...5-7 hours just trolling around the virtual West.

I will say it got a little tiring hearing everyone I met tell me how great a guy the previously killed protagonist was. Like. I know he was great! I played as him! I wish I still was! Ah well.

This experience has me thinking about how...SERIOUSLY...we analyzed RDR2 when it first came out. Like, the discourse surrounding this game’s narrative experience was freaking BREATHLESS. But I think something that got lost in all that talk about the story- and more importantly- the culture of the studio behind it- is just how incredible the world they built really is.

The world the devs for RDR2 built is simply...massive. Massive to the point that it might actually be unknowable. The only scale I can think to compare it is that of the Bethesda RPGs, and even then, that feels like a rough comparison.

Of course, size isn’t everything. They have to populate the world too, and again, they manage to do so with striking detail. Every city, town and settlement feels real. I mean, I still remember the first time I rode into Valentine and was struck in the face by the sheer choreography of it all. It actually made me want to make my character WALK instead of run, ‘cuz I didn’t want to break the immersion of the moment. That’s the arresting power of this game world.

Rockstar announced that the RDO experience will live on for at least the foreseeable future. There’s going to be plenty more written about the culture of Rockstar and the indulgent microtransactions that their games are trending toward. I’ll leave that to the journalists.

But as a player? I’m glad the game world will continue to find life. It’s too massive, too finely crafted to merely be discarded by something as arbitrary as the passage of gaming “generations”, if that’s even really a thing anymore.

I have more thoughts specifically on playing Red Dead Online, but I’ll have to save them as this is already running long as it is. I also don’t think my thoughts are terrible revealing. You know what RDO is gonna be when you log in, and for the most part, that’s what you get. I think it has fewer problems than GTAO, but it is still a tightly controlled experience- likely by design.

Muse Dash (PC)

Muse Dash is a rhythm game where you tap a combination of 2-3 keys on your keyboard to the beat of a catch J-Pop song. Your character, or muse, on screen, dispatches foes who serve as visual cues for your keystrokes. You must string together as many perfect sequences as possible. There’s a combo meter and HP system in there too, if you’re into that kind of thing.

I first encountered Muse Dash on V-tuber Gawr Gura’s livestream. Unfortunately, the video appears to be missing from her archive now. I was struck by how much its short, energetic tracks reminded me of a different rhythm gaming experience- Dance Dance Revolution.

Fun fact- I used to be a DDR FIEND back in my high school days. Had my own mat and everything. I even used a barstool for extra support so I could hit those really intense combos.

*sigh* To be young and able to play DDR without risking a heart attack...

Anyway, suffice to say Muse Dash caught my eye. An endless supply of J-pop tracks, cute anime visuals, and some low-key rhythm gameplay? Tag me in!

It’s made for a good, chill change of pace. The price of entry is low...like, five bucks on steam? And you can purchase more songs if you’re into that. I recommend it!

Dungeons and Dragons: Ghosts of Saltmarsh

As I said above, most of my freetime last week went into prepping for my local DND group’s campaign set in the world of Saltmarsh.

If you really want to hear a play-by-play, I’ve linked my related blog above.

Overall? I really enjoy the world of Saltmarsh. It’s spooky and moody. There’s pirates, but there’s also no shortage of sea monsters, ghosts, cultists and even vampires to keep you busy. It has strong Dark Shadows feels, where many of its included modules feel reliant dramatic tension and investigation ahead of a dramatic showdown with a big, bad monster of the week.

I still have a lot more prep to do, but at least for the moment, I can take a breath and ease up. The first session went well and the players seem curious. I hope that keeps up as we really start to dig in to the world itself. I’ve never run a full city before, and finding ways to insert all the separate modules as plothooks has been a challenge unto itself. I’ll be sure to let you all know how it goes!

Anime

I haven’t watched much lately, and that admittedly sucks. I tend to go in phases, and lately, my time just hasn’t been going to anime the way it has in other seasons.

I’m still very into Jujutsu Kaisen and am tracking with the season ending to Fire Force. I’m avoiding season 2 of Re:Zero like the plague, partially because I need to wait until the full season is done so I don’t have to torture myself by waiting week to week, and partially because I just know season 2 is going to absolutely destroy me in ways I’m not sure I can fundamentally handle right now.

I keep meaning to go through my queues and create a proper watchlist across VRV, Crunchyroll and Funimation. Maybe I’ll do that later tonight.

That’s all for this week! Hope everyone has a good and safe Thanksgiving.

Haven’t played anything on multiplayer for a while now. As always, if you have a specific game you’d like to play online, my DM’s are open. Please feel free to send me an invite <3

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azeddinechaoui · 4 years

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15Social Media Lies Everyone Tells on Facebook and Instagram

These days, most folks are on a minimum of one social media platform. And while Facebook and Instagram could seem like good ways to attach with friends, colleagues, and relations you do not see too often, tons of its smoke and mirrors. People leave their thanks to present the simplest version of themselves on social media, albeit that version isn't exactly real. So while your former flame could seem smitten with their new spouse, just know that their lovey-dovey comments on each other's photos don't show the entire story. Plus, with filters and photoshopping, you cannot compare the way you look a day to someone's carefully crafted Instagram photos.

With numerous opportunities to make "better" versions of ourselves online, the likelihood is that high even you've told a fib or two on Facebook. it is time to urge real and mention the social media lies everyone's been guilty of telling at some point. 1 Lying about your accomplishments man seriously lecture his boss who appears to be upset iStock

Everyone wants someone to be proud (or envious) of them. But this got to produce other people view your successes and accomplishments as something extraordinary has created a culture of fabricating or exaggerating them, especially on social media.

Mike Bran, founding father of Thrill Appeal, says this is often something he sees only too actually because people "want to be acknowledged." as an example, a lazy coworker who got moved into another position because they weren't performing well in their other role might go browsing and say they "got a promotion," so that people see the switch during a positive light instead of a negative one. 2 Embellishing your importance at work millennial employees gathered in the boardroom for training, black boss CEO leader leading a corporate team during seminar learning at modern office. Internship and leadership coaching and education concept iStock

We all want to look like we are the head at our office—so much so that many of us will embellish the importance of their role in their company on social media. Shaun McDonough explained on Quora that he worked with people that were happier to receive an "inflated" job title over a pay raise since most of the people will know of your title but not your salary. 3 Acting as if your job is more glamorous than it is work birthday celebration selfie photo iStock

What you're posting on social media: photo booth shots from your company's holiday party, that just one occasion a star came into your office, or that massive bottle of Veuve Clicquot your boss got as a congratulatory gift when she was promoted. What you are not showing: restocking the mini-fridge for clients, that air con leak that's leaving a water stain on the carpet, and therefore the co-worker who can't travel by your desk at the start of the week without asking if you've "a case of the Mondays." Even the thing people complain about the most—their jobs—is something they can not help but glamorize on social media. 4 Exaggerating the highlights of your travels beautiful female London traveler takes a selfie picture together with her phone ahead of the Tower Bridge on a sunny day iStock

Of course, that photo ahead of the Eiffel Tower and a perfectly-timed picture of an ocean wave are beautiful, but they do not show the ins-and-outs of your travels. they do not show you racing to your gate, almost missing your flight. they do not show you grumpy and jet-lagged, unable to go away your mediocre bedroom. But when vacationing, people only show the simplest parts of their trip.

A 2019 Jet Cost survey of quite 4,000 Americans showed that two-thirds admitted to "lying about their experiences with the weather, quality of accommodation, and amount of sightseeing done" when traveling, as Travel Pulse reported. therefore the next time you're unhappy with a vacation, know that the majority of people have experienced an equivalent thing—even if they do not post about it. 5 Or just lying about the places you've visited follow me to the Taj Mahal, India. Female tourist leading boyfriend to there magnificent famous Mausoleum in Agra. People travel concept iStock

And some people will go thus far on lie around the places they've visited entirely. Whether it's fabricating a vacation or simply lying to people about having gone somewhere within the past, this is often not an uncommon social media practice. The thought blew up such a lot that there was a viral video trend where YouTubers would "fake" a visit on their social media profiles, proving how easy it is often done. 6 Pretending to be in better financial standing than you're man standing with satchel he cannot afford during a store iStock

Whether it is the flash of dollar bills on a video screen or showing off things online that you simply can't afford, people are always trying to form themselves seem richer than they're. Having designer items means you've got money, so you post a photograph of a designer bag from the shop rather than purchasing it—but nobody has got to know that, of course. Even the phenomenon of individuals posing ahead of luxury cars that are not theirs is an example of this. It's all about seeming such as you have wealth. 7 Feigning a "healthy" lifestyle taking an image of some food with a sensible phone. iStock

We understand. You eat one kale salad, and you would like the planet to understand you're turning over a replacement leaf if you'll. However, more often than not, that may not the case. Natalie Levy, founding father of She's Independent, says this concept of wanting people to look at you as "healthy" coincides with a disorder called orthorexia. this is often where people are hooked into eating foods that "people deem healthy," whether or not they're consuming it in healthy ways. 8 Lying about your fitness regimen brunette in sportswear taking a selfie while sitting on the gym floor barefoot. Night workout concept. iStock

On that same note, people also will lie around their workouts. As Levy points out, many fitness professionals or junkies even have "workout disorders or body disorders." But do they showcase that reality online? almost. Instead, they "showcase the physical and speak to their success and achievements but don't touch on far more than the physical and makes they co-promote," Levy says. This, in return, causes people to unhealthily compare themselves to fitness goals which will be unrealistic because it's what they see being promoted online. 9 Acting as if you recognize about quite you do African American girl student in eyewear making selfie photo on the front camera of smartphone for sharing in networks sitting with literature book on the floor and preparing for the exam in the library iStock

It's simple to make a facade of data online. Post a photograph of Tolstoy's Anna Karenina and other people will think you're an intelligent, well-read human being—even if you never made it past page one. As Karl Taro Greenfield wrote for The NY Times, with the emergence of the web, "it's never been very easy to pretend to understand such a lot without actually knowing anything." 10 Misrepresenting the realities of parenthood smartphone selfie family newborn mother concept. photo memory. happy motherhood. iStock

Your followers might imagine your children are "perfect little angels" if that's all you show about them online. But the realities of parenting are much more complicated than that. Sociologist Koyel Bandyopadhyay wrote on Quora that oldsters who are hooked into social media pass unhealthy complexes onto their children. "Parenting becomes a contest, and youngsters attempt to continue with their parents' ambitions," she wrote. "These problems with affirmation and competition percolate to children, who feel invested in their performative capacities, meaning to be 'perfect kids.'" 11 Pretending to always be the happy attractive girl standing giggling or laughing at something she finds very funny while leaning against a white exterior wall with copy space iStock

In Donna Freitas' The Happiness Effect, an awesome 73 percent of scholars she surveyed said they "always attempt to appear positive and proud of anything attached" to their real names. Whether it's posting an old smiling selfie when you're actually in bed crying or tweeting about how #blessed you're when you're struggling mentally and emotionally, it's clear life isn't what it seems on social media. 12 Or pretending to be during a happy, healthy relationship Romantic date. Charming girl and her boyfriend sitting at the table and holding cups of coffee iStock

Based solely on social media, everyone's relationship is essentially a well-directed romantic comedy. But people that address Facebook or Instagram to boast about their romance more often than not are hiding something. Spoiler alert: Their relationship probably isn't that great. during a 2018 survey from relationship counseling organization Relate, quite half millennials (51 percent) admitted to creating their relationship seem happier online than it is, and 42 percent worked to carefully craft a "perfect relationship" online. though, all of those couples are having disagreements behind the screen. 13 Lying about your single status finger of the woman pushing heart icon on the screen in a mobile smartphone application. Online dating app, Valentine Day concept. iStock

On the opposite hand, dating expert Laurel House says some partners will go the other route and not post about their spouse in the least on social media. many of us create a fake persona online as if they're living one life once they even have someone reception. They keep their relationship hidden so that they can entertain people or maybe cheat without anyone knowing the truth. 14 Acting as if you're over an ex Man taking selfie on the beach Shutterstock

Who among us hasn't gotten out of a relationship then posted a photograph where we glance happier than ever to point out the world—but mainly our ex—that we're thriving? there are entire articles online dedicated to coaching people on the way to act on social media after a breakup. But simply because we do not all wear our heartbreak on our social media sleeve, that does not mean we aren't experiencing it. 15 Faking flawless skin close up of cute Asian girl with glowing skin against the blue background. Beautiful face of the girl with fresh healthy skin. iStock

It's easy to match your raw, acne-scarred, dry skin to someone else's complexion in an Instagram photo, but you're just holding yourself up against a false representation. As Stacy Caprio, creator of the AcneScar blog, reminds us, the reality is not anyone has "perfect skin." The photos you're comparing your skin to possess filters on them and have possibly been "smoothed" out by tools like Facetune

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thesundaymorningpost · 7 years

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The Sunday Morning Post

August 13, 2017 7th Edition

Current News: YoI Appreciation day, was August 11 & 12th.

“fandom-wide day of creator appreciation is a day (or in this case, a set of days) dedicated to showing how grateful we are to the people who create, and how much we admire their hard work and dedication to the fandom and to their craft. this includes but is not limited to the following medias: fic, art, graphics, edits, music, meta, translations, fsts, amvs, rpers, event organizers, and bakers.” - @katsukifatale

It’s been a couple days of love and support shown all around. Something that is especially important when the rest of the world seems to be having in a crisis of hate. Keep spreading the love and appreciation everyday!

Story Recommendations:

Pole-Mance by SeptiplierIsMyFire

When a 25-year-old MALE pole-dancer, Mark Edward Fischbach (stage name: Markiplier), starts another day in his sinful job, he's feeling meek. Problem with being a male dancer was, that he, himself, was gay.

However, he encounters one of his first ever man to be there during one of shows, and instantly feels infatuated with the fellow male stranger. He can't help but notice how broken he looks, and is shocked when he finds the 25-year-old, attractive, Sean William McLoughlin, had been lead here by his girlfriend and harshly dumped for one of the dancers.

Mark is greedy and quick-on-his-feet to woo Sean, just in time to catch him before he falls. Though with that being said, a relationship in which one would be flirted with by countless ladies on a daily basis wouldn't work; so Mark has to make a choice...

Will it be his work, or will he choose to quit and live happily with his newfound lover?

Pole-Mance is the kind of story you remember long after you've finished it. It was such a great love story, written in the most beautiful of words, that it's strangely one of the most underrated fanfictions in the Septiplier fandom. I recommend this for anyone who likes a long, feelsy story. - @introduceyourlipstominememecrew

Artist Spotlight:

Yuri Plisetsky by @eclair

Comic:

Groot #6 written by Jeff Loveness; art by Brian Kesinger (Click title to reblog)

Support:

This week’s Ko-Fi shout-out goes to Salmon @iamatrashfan (Click Salmon to donate)

Hello, Salmon's here. I'm a freelance artist who loves to draw stuff~

Zine: Terra Incognita by Main organizer: Yuuya @nakutan & Co-organizer: Kusid @kusid Unknown Land. A Yuri!!! on ICE fanbook about traveling and social media.

Redbubble: Juntwei (Click to Purchase) @juntwei

Fun and Games: Send me an Emoji by @goblintoast (Click title to reblog)

💌: I’d love to send you more messages and asks but you make me nervous!

😊: You’re sweet. You’ve made me smile before.

🙏: I’m a little afraid that you’ll unfollow me.

🔪: I’d hate to get on your bad side.

😶: I’m honored that you’re even following me tbH.

👾: Your theme is awesome!

🌄: GO TO BED.

💉: Talking to you or seeing you on my dash makes me feel better.

😐: I don’t understand half the things you reblog but I support you anyway.

🌑: You come off as cold, impersonal.

👒: You come off as very friendly!

🌃: I’d like to spend more time talking to you.

🎭: You sure do get into a lot of drama…

😄: I can always count on you to like/reply to my personal posts.

🍥: Your aesthetic is very streamlined. It’s clear you’re picky about the stuff you reblog.

🍬: You’re sweet, but I feel like I know very little about you as a person.

🐟: Your blog isn’t quite my “type.”

😅: I often worry about upsetting you or scaring you off.

😇: Every single interaction we’ve had so far has been positive.

🐱: You’re cute‼︎

🌱: I’d love to get to know you better.

☔️: You seem unhappy.

😃: I love seeing you in my notifications!

🐸: You act goofy.

💻: Are you ever not online?

❄️: Your BYF struck me as kind of harsh, but I followed you anyway.

😆: You’ve made me laugh out loud before.

💔: You’ve disappointed me before.

📺: We have similar interests!

🔈: We have similar tastes in music.

🌊: You have a lot of personality.

😀: I would consider us friends.

🎀: We have similar aesthetics!

🍳: This is an egg in a frying pan!

🎉: I get really happy when I see positive personal posts from you, even when I don’t fully understand the context!

😈: I know your secret~

🌴: I’m jealous of you.

✨: Could you, like, chill a little bit maybe? Like in general? Please?

🎶: I associate you with a specific song or musician.

👟: I feel as though you’re out of my league.

🐚: I find your blog very calming.

👀: I’ve vagued about you before.

🍰: I might recognize you if I ran into you on the street.

😂: I’m comfortable around you.

🌈: Sometimes I see your selfies and think to myself: “I’m gay.”

🌹: I wouldn’t mind going on a date with you.

😓: I’ve talked to you before and it made me a nervous!

👑: You’re vain.

📝: I know a lot about you just from following you on Tumblr.

🌙: You’re beautiful.

🍓: You remind me of someone…

😒: I honestly don’t know why I’m even still following you at this point.

😳: I’ve learned things about you that have surprised me a lot!

🐭: Please be kinder to yourself.

😑: -__-

👔: I think you’re someone who takes themself very seriously.

🍉: I wish we lived closer to each other.

🍭: You confuse me.

😮: I wish I could give you some advice.

💐: I have a crush on you.

😁: You’re a little awkward, but I find it endearing.

💕: I love you‼︎

👍: I like you. Just, in general. I think you’re a genuinely good person.

Story Prompt: “Look–I hate to tell you, but you deserve the truth… . Your cooking almost killed me last night.”

Art Prompt:

Opposite day! Draw your favorite character doing something, or wearing something completely opposite from their normal.

Fandom Week:

Miraculous fluff month! Beginning August 1st.

JJBek Week! August 19 - 27th.

Guang-Hong Week! Prompts will be put up for voting through Aug 15 and posted by Aug 21

Yuri on Ice Music Week! September 4th - 11th

NSFW Yuri Plisetsky Week! September 11th - 17th.

SeungChuchu Week! October 16th - 23rd.

Help Wanted:

Needed: Tumblr theme editor. Please contact Diamond Winters for details.

Story recommendations!! If you find a story that you absolutely love, and you want to see it get some recognition, please submit a link to it with a 2-3 sentence review of the story. This way it could get in the spotlight in a future edition of the SMP. Requirements are that it’s completed, or a one-shot.

Artist Spotlight!! If you find a piece of artwork that needs more love, please submit a link to it so it may be considered for future spotlights in the future.

WIP Motivation: Please send your support to these writers or artist to encourage them to continue their story or artwork. No good story or piece of art should be left unfinished. - If you know of a good story that hasn’t been updated in a while, and would like to offer encouragement to the author, please let me know, so that I can link to their story here.

If there is ever any section of the Sunday Morning Post that you feel you can contribute too, please send an Ask or Submit to either the SMP, or @d2diamond so that it has a chance at making in a future post. Thank you!

#The Sunday Morning Post #Writing #Artist #Fanfiction #Original Stories #gaurdians of the galaxy #Groot #Zine #RedBubble #Wattpad

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globalsource-blog · 7 years

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The Taiwan Correspondent - Episode 1

It’s been a while since I’ve written a piece on here about my travels. Since moving to Taiwan I’ve been busy to say the least, but the time is now, and here I present to anyone who cares to read it my attempt to distil into writing some sense of what I’ve been up to in my first two months on this Illa Formosa.

I arrived here, by way of Dubai, on the evening of the 31st of August. When I’d reclaimed my bags and passed through immigration without having to present any of the many documents, photocopies and extra passport photographs which I’d brought like magic charms to ward off evil spirits, I caught the airport train into the city of Taipei. I was headed to a hostel right by the main train station, which was a welcome thought as my bags were weighed down with books, my tent, sleeping bag and camp stove… I’d had a hard time deciding what to bring, and in the end decided on pretty much everything, stopping short of a skateboard. I caught the train at just the right time to watch the last half hour of golden daylight washing over hillsides whose wooded slopes were interspersed with small brick buildings, the occasional temple and gradually more and more concrete as we came closer to Taipei. On arrival, I shouldered my bags and set out to find my hostel.

Unfortunately, the universe had decided that I should first make a brief tour of the neighbourhood with the help of an energetic man who spoke bad English, worse Chinese and claimed to be called Henry. He also claimed to be from Portsmouth despite his strong and distinctly non-English accent, and was evasive when I asked what he was doing in Taipei. Anyway, he was keen to help me find my hostel, and proceeded to do exactly the opposite by leading me in every possible wrong direction, bags and all, in the heat of the Taiwanese evening (around 30 Celsius at the time). Eventually he seemed to lose interest, and with a vigorous handshake, passed me off onto a pair of local girls, insisting that they help me. Bemused and a little relieved, I was not unhappy to see that strange and enigmatic individual stride away into the night. Free to make my own way, I soon came to the hostel, passing by at least five convenience stores, a temple (Taipei’s streets are home to many Taoist and Buddhist places of worship) and many of the small, family-run restaurants open to the street which are characteristic of Asian cities. I had booked into Flip Flop Main Station Hostel, whose slightly strange name, according to their website, reflects the “flip flop philosophy”, which seems to have something to do with a laid-back travelling mentality and also their no-shoes-inside policy. In all honesty I could take or leave the philosophy, what I required was a cold shower and a bed, and after checking in I took full enjoyment in both. After hours of breathing recycled cabin air, trying to escape the Duty Free maze in Dubai and tramping around Taipei like an overladen pack mule, I was ready for a long sleep.

I’d discussed doing a work-exchange program with the hostel management in the weeks prior, with the aim of earning free accommodation in return for some kind of work on my part. I’d billed myself as a kind of human Swiss-army knife – translator, artist, vegan chef, blogger – casting a net wide enough to hopefully catch myself a job and save some money on rent. I managed it, but not quite how I’d imagined… I was signed up as night receptionist at Main Station’s nearby sister hostel Flip Flop Garden, working 10pm ‘til 4am, three times a week, keeping the place ticking over by checking in guests, giving out towels and sending booking confirmation emails, to name only the most exciting aspects of my new profession. Nothing beats free stuff, though, and even if it was just for the first couple of months (I’ve since arranged to only do one shift a week), I wanted to save some money to set aside for travels during the rest of the year. I’d decided against living in university accommodation because I didn’t want to live surrounded by other foreign students, speaking English all the time and inhabiting a self-imposed bubble. I have no regrets about this choice; even despite my slightly vampire-like schedule, I get to practice speaking and listening to Mandarin every day with the other staff here, and being the only staff member on shift at night means often having to use my Chinese under pressure. `

With my accommodation sorted, next on the agenda was exploring Taipei, and getting set up at National Taiwan University, my academic home for the coming year. The first of these was a lot of fun; I spent the first few weeks wandering all around the city whenever I got chance, walking the streets and exploring different neighbourhoods on the public rental bikes. I’ll write more about Taipei itself in another post, as it deserves more than a quick mention to do it justice. However, suffice it to say that it is a thoroughly modern, well-ordered and bustling metropolis, occupying a natural depression in the landscape, meaning it is surrounded by lush, tree-covered hills. One of these in particular became a frequent spot for me to visit in the evenings; with an incredible night-time view over the city’s skyline, close to the one-time tallest building on the planet, Taipei 101, Elephant Mountain is popular with both tourists and locals. While the view isn’t quite as breathtaking as that from Victoria Peak above Hong Kong, it’s still a beautiful cityscape and helped me to build a mental map of Taipei.

As much as I’d have liked to come to Taiwan with nothing to do but take photos, eat dumplings and explore, I had also come to learn Chinese, and after several months off from my studies I was ready to jump in to whatever NTU had to offer. I first went to the campus a few days after I arrived, and was thoroughly impressed by my first sight of it. The day was hot and the air shimmered as I walked through the gates and down the main boulevard, lined with the tallest, straightest palm trees I’ve ever seen. Like seriously, forget those near-horizontal ones you see on holiday brochures, these things look like they’re on military parade. This broad avenue (imaginatively named Palm Boulevard) led straight to the main library, with red-brick faculty buildings off to either side. I was one of the few people walking around campus; since the site is so big (about twenty minutes from end to end), most students and staff get around on two wheels, and with over 30,000 students, that makes for a lot of bikes. My intention had been to not only to check out the campus but to get ahead of the game by completing my registration early. No dice. When I finally managed to find the right office in the right building, my presence caused chaos for a good fifteen minutes while several members of staff talked agitatedly into telephones and everyone appeared thoroughly confused. A consensus eventually emerged from the voices at the end of the phones: I was a week early, I must register on the same day as everyone else, and there was nothing to be done. So much for my attempt to sidestep the honoured Chinese tradition of bureaucracy which had first been exported to Taiwan back in the Qing dynasty.

I won’t go further into the details of registration, class timetables and textbook purchases, as I would like to keep the attention of those readers who have somehow made it this far into this piece. Suffice it to say that all the right forms were filled, all my paperwork checked out, and I even managed to somehow navigate the incomprehensible online student system to download my timetable. Ten hours a week of Chinese class, with no English spoken in the classroom and around twenty new characters to memorise before each class… my wish to return to some serious Chinese study was well and truly granted, no two ways about it. Between the workload and my duties at the hostel, I haven’t been free to do as I liked; to simply take off into the unknown and get acquainted with the furthest corners of Taiwan, whether on two wheels or by thumbing lifts (a Czech friend managed to make the tour of the island by hitchhiking only a few weeks after arriving), and this has admittedly been a little frustrating, not to mention my confused body clock and occasional need to sleep for 6 hours in the library after an 8am class (thankfully this does not seem to bother anyone in the slightest.

However, it hasn’t all been late check-ins and vocab tests; I’ve made the most of being in Taipei, and you don’t have to go far to experience something incredible. One of the highlights so far has to be the Pingxi sky lantern festival, where I stood with a damp crowd in the rain and watched hundreds of giant sky lanterns defy the elements to fly majestically up and away into the sky, a genuinely uplifting sight which took me a little by surprise. A couple of weeks ago I also took the train out to a village in the mountains to the East to go swimming with some friends at a beautiful waterfall – I will be heading back for sure. After buying a decent road bike a couple of weeks in, riding through the parkland along the banks of the Keelung River has also been a pleasure, and I’m signed up to do some serious cycling with the staff team from the shop where I got my new wheels. Maybe the single biggest factor that has made my recent low-key lifestyle much more enjoyable is the amazing food that I’ve been eating, but here again I need to defer to a later post… there’s no way I can describe the wonders I’ve eaten without the attention they deserve.

Anyway, I hope this post has gone some way to illuminating what the past couple of months have been like for me. I have been busy, I have been deeply immersed in a foreign language daily, and I have eaten a lot of 7-11 noodles (actually surprisingly good). It hasn’t exactly been a highlight reel of Tripadvisor’s highest rated tourist hotspots, but my goal in coming here was and is first and foremost to come out of this year having genuinely experienced life in Taiwan, not to treat it as a year-long opportunity to take the same photos in the same places as every other exchange student. To that end, working in the hostel has been a real success, not necessarily a lot of fun but with the constant practice combined with my studies, I have already seen my fluency in Mandarin develop dramatically. Besides that, these two months of rent-free living have let me save a decent chunk of money, and equipped with tips and recommendations from friends as well as a whole lot more free time, come November, I will appreciate my newfound freedom.

I will be trying to keep on top of these posts a lot more in the coming months, so they won’t be quite so long – I’ll probably write them each with a focus on a particular topic rather than long-winded retrospectives like this one. I hope that anyone who’s still reading has enjoyed this post, and look out for the new Global Source website launching soon!

#Travel Photography #travelblogger #taipei

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austinpanda · 5 years

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Bangor Bound, Ch. 8

Here’s where we are now: I’ve accomplished my three goals for today, and I’m still concerned, as Zach is concerned, about the fact that we don’t have a place to live yet. Allow me to explain in greater detail.

This morning I wanted to take out the trash and recycling. Zach took care of that while I snoozed, the lovable butthole. Second, we wanted to throw away an exercise bike. Throwing something away when it’s large, awkwardly-shaped, and heavy, is difficult when you live on the third floor of a building with no elevators. But the exercise bike had four feet upon which it rested, and two of the feet were casters (wheels). It was a recumbent bike and it was designed to be picked up from one end, and moved on those casters like a wheelbarrow. Once we got it down all the stairs, which just took a bit of slowness and care, it was easy to wheel it out to the dumpster. I should have put a sticky note on it, saying that it works. We’re not getting rid of it because it’s broken; we’re getting rid of it because we don’t want to move that shit 2,200 miles, and, more importantly, we want to get actual bikes once we’re in Bangor. We want to get fat-tire bikes and ride them in the snow, and ride them to the store, and ride them everywhere, and get healthy, and live for a hundred years.

The third and final chore was installing The Great Divide™ pet net barrier thingy! To cut a long story short, it is done. It was pretty easy to install, and it fits nicely. There are some gaps, and I will address those. I’ve already purchased a couple of disposable litter boxes pre-loaded with litter and placed one in the floor of the back driver’s side. I’m beginning to wish my kitty had the capacity to appreciate how much money and energy I’m spending making sure he’s as comfortable and chill as possible for this three-day car trip. I’m starting to feel like I’ve accomplished something here. This is some seriously first-class kitty transport, complete with restroom facilities! That’s the last I’ll bitch about that.

Now it’s about 9:30 in the morning, my three icky outdoors chores are complete, and my thoughts turn to our house hunt.

Our house hunt is going poorly, I would say. Or perhaps I should say it’s going wonderfully; it just hasn’t produced a new home for us yet. And I have to admit, and you’re going to probably spit out your coffee and yell at me at this point, but I haven’t made any phone calls yet. We’ve been doing it online. Look, here’s the thing: we both hate making phone calls. It takes time to work up the courage. It’s embarrassing! It’s one of those shortcomings for which the only solution seems to be, “How about just stop being a pussy and DO IT, m’kay?” But that solution has produced mixed results.

Here’s what we do. We find a place that’s in our price range ($850 or, preferably less), allows cats, and has washer/dryer connections. The only other qualification is that it has to be as un-murdery as possible. We don’t want to live in a terrifying, shoddily-built apartment that’s just going to make us sad. We want a competent dwelling. We want something clean, with no bugs, and no windows that are half in one room, and half in the adjacent room, because the people converting it from one house to several apartments just did not give a shit. (Yes, we’ve seen this.) Another thing these people do is carve out a bathroom by putting a few walls around a toilet and shower, but they don’t extend the walls all the way to the ceiling! It’s like a bathroom stall in a gas station, but it’s your home! You’re pooping out loud, for everyone in the place to hear, FOREVER!!!!!

Anyway, once we’ve found the place that meets our requirements, we use whatever mechanism that website provides to contact the landlord and/or apply to live there. If there’s more than one way to apply, without calling them, or more than one way so submit information to them, without calling them, or more than one way to nag them, without calling them, we do it. So far, we don’t have a place, and the Cumberland Street apartment has been rented to someone else. We’re down from three possibilities to two.

So the search continues. Zach and I, despite having heroically done a combined three things already this morning, are going to dedicate the rest of the day and tomorrow to searching like mad, online, for a place to live.

If that doesn’t work…

...then next week we start calling places. And that means mostly me doing the phone calls, because of Zach’s speech impediment. Also, we start looking for an extended-stay hotel, or some super-cheap weekly efficiency apartments. Because, and this is hugely important, we really, seriously, absolutely MUST have a place to drive TO once we get to Bangor. Since we’re using the pods, our stuff will come later, and be brought to a Bangor U-Haul place, and we can direct it to our new home once we have one. But we literally have to have a place, even if it’s a temporary one, to drive to. We need a bed and a bathroom and something resembling a kitchen.

Ah, friendos, I grow nervous. Zach now fears that he left his job too soon, and that our lack of employment will prevent us from getting the kind of place we want. My thoughts were always, “How about we just offer them a pile of money, in the form of a few months rent in advance, instead?” But we haven’t had many opportunities to make that offer yet, because we’re here with our pile, and they’re there with their employment demands. We’re working on it, and we’re working hard.

But! You know me, I can’t give ten negatives without at least a head-fake toward something positive. From within this cauldron of dog shit that is my current existence, a genuine gold nugget has emerged. A wonderful thing happened, and I have my sister to thank for it.

I read Stephen King’s book “Doctor Sleep,” a few months ago, and thought it was fine. It’s the sequel to The Shining; little Danny Torrance all grown up and alcoholic. Then I saw a trailer for the movie, which is coming out on November 8th, and I thought, “Maybe I should listen to that audio book again. It had a couple of cool parts in it.” Then I listened to the book a second time, and fell in love with it. I’ve talked about it online already; the book has such heart, such an amazing capacity for kindness, such beautiful, supportive relationships. I just loved the shit out of it. So, I recommended it to Stacy. And she read it! And she liked it, and said it had a lot of heart! And she got Dad to read it, and now he likes it!

This morning I got an email from dad which just contained a link to the second trailer for the movie Doctor Sleep. I’ve already seen it a dozen times, because at this point, I’m a fan, but it’s awesome to know he’s into it too. My dad, who had trouble liking me because of insufficient sports, is enjoying a book I enjoyed. And Stacy digs it too. I’m like Moses over here, bringing my love of this Stephen King book to the whole of humanity. Hope you accept Doctor Sleep into your life. And I hope the movie is very good.

#movingtobangor #bangor #bangorbound

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youmightaswell · 5 years

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Die!

Say ‘Yes’ to the Dress?

I have secrets. Nothing so awful, but just weird stuff. This is the most benign of recent things that have been bothering me. So I figured I’d start with this. A sort of mental amuse bouche, if you will.

I also have a burning desire to out myself. To free myself from self-blackmail. I tell myself that I will not bully myself into feeling bad and worrying someone will find out my indiscretions; I don’t negotiate with terrorists, even if the terrorist is myself.

So here is some recent weirdness I need to off my chest.

I guess it all started around the same time with two things converging.

The first one was that my friend Karina told me she is getting married in September and to save the date. Normally I hate weddings, but this one will be fun. It’s her second marriage and her fiance is the best guy she ever dated. I love him. He is cute, funny, super successful and a chef to boot. You’ve seen him on television. It’s being held in a cool hotel and is small so I’ll know most of the people there. I even have a date: my friend of 30+ years is going to go with me. He is going through a bad divorce so he is single and lives right by the place.

Sure, I’m me so I am also a bit sad. Like where the fuck is my guy? When’s my second marriage with a guy far better than the first? Where’s my huge ring and huge dick and fancy new apt?

But I digress.

So Karina texted me a dress she liked. She wanted something not too weddingy and “edgy”. The dress, though, was a one-of-a-kind she tried on from an Israeli designer to the tune of $4,000. She could afford it but it just seemed silly to spend so much on a dress. She was hoping to find an alternative, and quick. So, curious, I started researching to see what was out there. I found a few great ones – midi white dresses with lace but that are more cool evening dress than formal gown. Anyway, over the next few weeks she’d text me others she likes and back and forth it went. I had wedding dresses on the brain. She still hasn’t decided on which to wear but is close to a winner. Me? Well, that’s for later in the story.

Concurrently I was excited because I had just found a website about two months ago that has incredibly cheap shit. I was reticent about ordering something because those wacky Chinese-based sites can be very hit or miss. But I read the online reviews and finally ordered a tassel bikini which upon arrival became my favorite swimsuit ever!

Soon it became compulsive. I found a 20% off code and ordered a few other bikinis. As previously noted I do not need any bikinis. I own about 45 swimsuits now. I worry that I can’t stop the collecting process. See? Harmless but nutso.

Most came to about $8. I soon tried dresses, tops, stickers, earrings.

The site posts a link to new ware arrivals daily. I’d eagerly wake and race to the computer to see if anything new was posted that I’d just love. I still can’t stop doing it. Thankfully most of the stuff doesn’t fit right and gets returned promptly. Still, I’d say I spent about $1200 in total in the last two months. Not anything horrible, but still, behavior I need to monitor.

Most of the stuff on the site is cheesy but there are a bunch of gems as well.

Shortly after I began my addiction, I bought two dresses I had absolutely no need for, but luckily when Karina alerted me of her impending wedding I was excited I might get to wear one of the two of my cheap, yet stylish dresses to the event. Serendipitous, no?

[As an aside do you like either of these for me for a fairly casual wedding? Which is your fave? They will be coupled with black open-toed Louboutins that I’m wearing in this bday picture– and and aside to the aside, the lace bodysuit i’ wearing in that pic was $14 from the same cheapo site.

I love it and got so many compliments on it at my bday dinner.]

This?

But then I took this one step further – a step into what might be considered dysfunctional, bordering on pathetic.

I found a white delicate dress with a mesh and sequin overlay that I loved. I thought to myself that if I were to get remarried I’d want to wear it. I would never spend thousands and probably not even hundreds on a wedding dress. If I were to ever get married I’d do so on a beach with like 4 people there so I’d want something to wear that was cute and throwaway – you know, like my first husband.

I obsessed over this dress. Probably a combo of being jealous Karina gets to have a big day in a white fancy dress and my desire to shop (cheaply) until I drop. I visited this dress online daily for a few weeks. I read every review and looked at every post. (People are encouraged to post pics of themselves in items they bought for bonus points towards discounts.) This dress seemed to fit everyone so well. A few people bought it for their bachelorette parties or their rehearsal dinners. One wore it to her court wedding.

So I began rationalizing: it’s summer, maybe I’d be invited to a gala? Maybe some sort of fancy charity event? Further rationalization: It’s so cheap – just $22 with my discount that even if it sat in my closet doing nothing for years it wouldn’t be a hardship. It couldn’t hurt to just buy this white, mock-wedding dress to try on, could it?

It arrived so quickly! I felt like I was doing something wrong and bad unpacking it so of course it was titillating. It wasn’t like I was setting up appointment to Vera Wang’s bridal atelier and trying on dresses for a fake wedding. I wasn’t regaling folks with the tale of how I met my phantom boyfriend who lives in Canada. This was harmless and different. Indulging a weird need in myself I hadn’t realized I had, but that felt so good.

And so it turns out this dress looks amazing on me. It’s sexy and demure all at the same time. I tried it on and walked around my house, too scared to snap a picture, for fear someone would see me in this white fancy dress and ask what the occasion was. Never mind that I live only with the dog, and she has witnessed far weirder.

But as you know sometimes a small thing can be a gateway to bigger things.

The site suggests other items similar to the ones you purchased that you rated highly.

And lo! Turns out there is a long gown with a train that is the same exact dress but in gown form. What is this fresh anxiety I feel? Well, now that I made peace with the fact I bought a knee-length white dress with fantasies of a beach wedding, I was seguing into fantasies about wearing an even more formal gown.

And yup, I bought that too. And yup, it fit amazingly. Like seriously this dress (okay, so now there are two dresses – judge if you want!) was made for me. Sadly there is no rationalizing this one away. There is simply no event I can be asked to attend that it would be appropriate attire for – except my own wedding.

So now I keep touching them in the closet. I keep peering at them sort of hidden among the more mundane work-a-day dresses, my two dirty little secrets.

This holiday weekend I got home from a barbecue and later after I had bathed, had nothing to do. I found myself putting on and wearing my gown for hours.

Yesterday I found myself casually (actually rather intensely for about two hours) looking on the internet for a blusher-length head piece that would go perfectly with The Dress’s flowery pattern. (FWIW: found one but didn’t buy it. Yet.)

Then this weekend in the NYT Vows column the wedding of a Lyme sufferer was highlightedand featured her in an amazing fringe skirt for her wedding. I mean I have the Lyme and the skirt, so where is my fucking husband?

I did confess all this weirdness to Yale and he told me to come down and we should just watch movies while I wear my gown. But I’m too scared somehow I’ll ruin it. I told him I hope I die soon so I can be buried in it. He suggested with no mockery that I should add that directive to my will.

So there you go.

For all you know I could be typing this very entry while wearing the full-length glory.

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thehowtostuff-blog · 5 years

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At the beginning of this year, I was using my iPhone to browse new titles on Amazon when I saw the cover of “How to Break Up With Your Phone” by Catherine Price. I downloaded it on Kindle because I genuinely wanted to reduce my smartphone use, but also because I thought it would be hilarious to read a book about breaking up with your smartphone on my smartphone (stupid, I know). Within a couple of chapters, however, I was motivated enough to download Moment, a screen time tracking app recommended by Price, and re-purchase the book in print.

Early in “How to Break Up With Your Phone,” Price invites her readers to take the Smartphone Compulsion Test, developed by David Greenfield, a psychiatry professor at the University of Connecticut who also founded the Center for Internet and Technology Addiction. The test has 15 questions, but I knew I was in trouble after answering the first five. Humbled by my very high score, which I am too embarrassed to disclose, I decided it was time to get serious about curtailing my smartphone usage.

Of the chapters in Price’s book, the one called “Putting the Dope in Dopamine” resonated with me the most. She writes that “phones and most apps are deliberately designed without ‘stopping cues’ to alert us when we’ve had enough—which is why it’s so easy to accidentally binge. On a certain level, we know that what we’re doing is making us feel gross. But instead of stopping, our brains decide the solution is to seek out more dopamine. We check our phones again. And again. And again.”

Gross was exactly how I felt. I bought my first iPhone in 2011 (and owned an iPod Touch before that). It was the first thing I looked at in the morning and the last thing I saw at night. I would claim it was because I wanted to check work stuff, but really I was on autopilot. Thinking about what I could have accomplished over the past eight years if I hadn’t been constantly attached to my smartphone made me feel queasy. I also wondered what it had done to my brain’s feedback loop. Just as sugar changes your palate, making you crave more and more sweets to feel sated, I was worried that the incremental doses of immediate gratification my phone doled out would diminish my ability to feel genuine joy and pleasure.

Price’s book was published in February, at the beginning of a year when it feels like tech companies finally started to treat excessive screen time as a liability (or at least do more than pay lip service to it). In addition to the introduction of Screen Time in iOS 12 and Android’s digital wellbeing tools, Facebook, Instagram and YouTube all launched new features that allow users to track time spent on their sites and apps.

Early this year, influential activist investors who hold Apple shares also called for the company to focus on how their devices impact kids. In a letter to Apple, hedge fund Jana Partners and California State Teachers’ Retirement System (CalSTRS) wrote “social media sites and applications for which the iPhone and iPad are a primary gateway are usually designed to be as addictive and time-consuming as possible, as many of their original creators have publicly acknowledged,” adding that “it is both unrealistic and a poor long-term business strategy to ask parents to fight this battle alone.”

The growing mound of research

Then in November, researchers at Penn State released an important new study that linked social media usage by adolescents to depression. Led by psychologist Melissa Hunt, the experimental study monitored 143 students with iPhones from the university for three weeks. The undergraduates were divided into two groups: one was instructed to limit their time on social media, including Facebook, Snapchat and Instagram, to just 10 minutes each app per day (their usage was confirmed by checking their phone’s iOS battery use screens). The other group continued using social media apps as they usually did. At the beginning of the study, a baseline was established with standard tests for depression, anxiety, social support and other issues, and each group continued to be assessed throughout the experiment.

The findings, published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, were striking. The researchers wrote that “the limited use group showed significant reductions in loneliness and depression over three weeks compared to the control group.”

Even the control group benefitted, despite not being given limits on their social media use. “Both groups showed significant decreases in anxiety and fear of missing out over baselines, suggesting a benefit of increased self-monitoring,” the study said. “Our findings strongly suggest that limiting social media use to approximately 30 minutes a day may lead to significant improvement in well-being.”

Other academic studies published this year added to the growing roster of evidence that smartphones and mobile apps can significantly harm your mental and physical wellbeing.

A group of researchers from Princeton, Dartmouth, the University of Texas at Austin, and Stanford published a study in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology that found using smartphones to take photos and videos of an experience actually reduces the ability to form memories of it. Others warned against keeping smartphones in your bedroom or even on your desk while you work. Optical chemistry researchers at the University of Toledo found that blue light from digital devices can cause molecular changes in your retina, potentially speeding macular degeneration.

So over the past 12 months, I’ve certainly had plenty of motivation to reduce my screen time. In fact, every time I checked the news on my phone, there seemed to be yet another headline about the perils of smartphone use. I began using Moment to track my total screen time and how it was divided between apps. I took two of Moment’s in-app courses, “Phone Bootcamp” and “Bored and Brilliant.” I also used the app to set a daily time limit, turned on “tiny reminders,” or push notifications that tell you how much time you’ve spent on your phone so far throughout the day, and enabled the “Force Me Off When I’m Over” feature, which basically annoys you off your phone when you go over your daily allotment.

At first I managed to cut my screen time in half. I had thought some of the benefits, like a better attention span mentioned in Price’s book, were too good to be true. But I found my concentration really did improve significantly after just a week of limiting my smartphone use. I read more long-form articles, caught up on some TV shows, and finished knitting a sweater for my toddler. Most importantly, the nagging feeling I had at the end of each day about frittering all my time away diminished, and so I lived happily after, snug in the knowledge that I’m not squandering my life on memes, clickbait and makeup tutorials.

Just kidding.

Holding my iPod Touch in 2010, a year before I bought my first smartphone and back when I still had an attention span.

After a few weeks, my screen time started creeping up again. First I turned off Moment’s “Force Me Off” feature, because my apartment doesn’t have a landline and I needed to be able to check texts from my husband. I kept the tiny reminders, but those became easier and easier to ignore. But even as I mindlessly scrolled through Instagram or Reddit, I felt the existentialist dread of knowing that I was misusing the best years of my life. With all that at stake, why is limiting screen time so hard?

I wish I knew how to quit you, small device

I decided to talk to the CEO of Moment, Tim Kendall, for some insight. Founded in 2014 by UI designer and iOS developer Kevin Holesh, Moment recently launched an Android version, too. It’s one of the best known of a genre that includes Forest, Freedom, Space, Off the Grid, AntiSocial and App Detox, all dedicated to reducing screen time (or at least encouraging more mindful smartphone use).

Kendall told me that I’m not alone. Moment has 7 million users and “over the last four years, you can see that average usage goes up every year,” he says. By looking at overall data, Moment’s team can tell that its tools and courses do help people reduce their screen time, but that often it starts creeping up again. Combating that with new features is one of the company’s main goals for next year.

“We’re spending a lot of time investing in R&D to figure out how to help people who fall into that category. They did Phone Bootcamp, saw nice results, saw benefits, but they just weren’t able to figure out how to do it sustainably,” says Kendall. Moment already releases new courses regularly (recent topics have included sleep, attention span, and family time) and recently began offering them on a subscription basis.

“It’s habit formation and sustained behavior change that is really hard,” says Kendall, who previously held positions as president at Pinterest and Facebook’s director of monetization. But he’s optimistic. “It’s tractable. People can do it. I think the rewards are really significant. We aren’t stopping with the courses. We are exploring a lot of different ways to help people.”

As Jana Partners and CalSTRS noted in their letter, a particularly important issue is the impact of excessive smartphone use on the first generation of teenagers and young adults to have constant access to the devices. Kendall notes that suicide rates among teenagers have increased dramatically over the past two decades. Though research hasn’t explicitly linked time spent online to suicide, the link between screen time and depression has been noted many times already, as in the Penn State study.

But there is hope. Kendall says that the Moment Coach feature, which delivers short, daily exercises to reduce smartphone use, seems to be particularly effective among millennials, the generation most stereotypically associated with being pathologically attached to their phones. “It seems that 20- and 30-somethings have an easier time internalizing the coach and therefore reducing their usage than 40- and 50-somethings,” he says.

Kendall stresses that Moment does not see smartphone use as an all-or-nothing proposition. Instead, he believes that people should replace brain junk food, like social media apps, with things like online language courses or meditation apps. “I really do think the phone used deliberately is one of the most wonderful things you have,” he says.

Researchers have found that taking smartphone photos and videos during an experience may decrease your ability to form memories of it. (Steved_np3/Getty Images)

I’ve tried to limit most of my smartphone usage to apps like Kindle, but the best solution has been to find offline alternatives to keep myself distracted. For example, I’ve been teaching myself new knitting and crochet techniques, because I can’t do either while holding my phone (though I do listen to podcasts and audiobooks). It also gives me a tactile way to measure the time I spend off my phone because the hours I cut off my screen time correlate to the number of rows I complete on a project. To limit my usage to specific apps, I rely on iOS Screen Time. It’s really easy to just tap “Ignore Limit,” however, so I also continue to depend on several of Moment’s features.

While several third-party screen time tracking app developers have recently found themselves under more scrutiny by Apple, Kendall says the launch of Screen Time hasn’t significantly impacted Moment’s business or sign ups. The launch of their Android version also opens up a significant new market (Android also enables Moment to add new features that aren’t possible on iOS, including only allowing access to certain apps during set times).

The short-term impact of iOS Screen Time has “been neutral, but I think in the long-term it’s really going to help,” Kendall says. “I think in the long-term it’s going to help with awareness. If I were to use a diet metaphor, I think Apple has built a terrific calorie counter and scale, but unfortunately they have not given people nutritional guidelines or a regimen. If you talk to any behavioral economist, not withstanding all that’s been said about the quantified self, numbers don’t really motivate people.”

Guilting also doesn’t work, at least not for the long-term, so Moment tries to take “a compassionate voice,” he adds. “That’s part of our brand and company and ethos. We don’t think we’ll be very helpful if people feel judged when we use our product. They need to feel cared for and supported, and know that the goal is not perfection, it’s gradual change.”

Many smartphone users are probably in my situation: alarmed by their screen time stats, unhappy about the time they waste, but also finding it hard to quit their devices. We don’t just use our smartphones to distract ourselves or get a quick dopamine rush with social media likes. We use it to manage our workload, keep in touch with friends, plan our days, read books, look up recipes, and find fun places to go. I’ve often thought about buying a Yondr bag or asking my husband to hide my phone from me, but I know that ultimately won’t help.

As cheesy as it sounds, the impetus for change must come from within. No amount of academic research, screen time apps, or analytics can make up for that.

One thing I tell myself is that unless developers find more ways to force us to change our behavior or another major paradigm shift occurs in mobile communications, my relationship with my smartphone will move in cycles. Sometimes I’ll be happy with my usage, then I’ll lapse, then I’ll take another Moment course or try another screen time app, and hopefully get back on track. In 2018, however, the conversation around screen time finally gained some desperately needed urgency (and in the meantime, I’ve actually completed some knitting projects instead of just thumbing my way through #knittersofinstagram).

from TechCrunch https://tcrn.ch/2EPgHLh

#How To Stuff #Blogger

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technicalsolutions88 · 5 years

Link

The growing mound of research

Other academic studies published this year added to the growing roster of evidence that smartphones and mobile apps can significantly harm your mental and physical wellbeing.

Just kidding.

Holding my iPod Touch in 2010, a year before I bought my first smartphone and back when I still had an attention span.

I wish I knew how to quit you, small device

Researchers have found that taking smartphone photos and videos during an experience may decrease your ability to form memories of it. (Steved_np3/Getty Images)

As cheesy as it sounds, the impetus for change must come from within. No amount of academic research, screen time apps, or analytics can make up for that.

from Mobile – TechCrunch https://tcrn.ch/2EPgHLh ORIGINAL CONTENT FROM: https://techcrunch.com/

#Technical Solutions #SEO #Online Earning #Youtube Marketing #Android Developer

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theinvinciblenoob · 5 years

Link

The growing mound of research

Other academic studies published this year added to the growing roster of evidence that smartphones and mobile apps can significantly harm your mental and physical wellbeing.

Just kidding.

Holding my iPod Touch in 2010, a year before I bought my first smartphone and back when I still had an attention span.

I wish I knew how to quit you, small device

Researchers have found that taking smartphone photos and videos during an experience may decrease your ability to form memories of it. (Steved_np3/Getty Images)

As cheesy as it sounds, the impetus for change must come from within. No amount of academic research, screen time apps, or analytics can make up for that.

via TechCrunch

#IFTTT #TechCrunch

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williamsjoan · 5 years

Text

We finally started taking screen time seriously in 2018

The growing mound of research

Other academic studies published this year added to the growing roster of evidence that smartphones and mobile apps can significantly harm your mental and physical wellbeing.

Just kidding.

Holding my iPod Touch in 2010, a year before I bought my first smartphone and back when I still had an attention span.

I wish I knew how to quit you, small device

Researchers have found that taking smartphone photos and videos during an experience may decrease your ability to form memories of it. (Steved_np3/Getty Images)

As cheesy as it sounds, the impetus for change must come from within. No amount of academic research, screen time apps, or analytics can make up for that.

We finally started taking screen time seriously in 2018 published first on https://timloewe.tumblr.com/

0 notes