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roseamongroses · 5 years

Text

PP part (4) : “two secrets and other lies we told ourselves without realizing “

Warnings: Lowkey life related crisis, Self doubt, cursing, jealousy but not in the way you think tbh

Characters: Remy Sanders, Patton Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Roman Sanders, Logan Sanders, (Mentioned: Deceit: goes by Eaton)

backround pairings: Remy/Patton, Roman/Logan, Virgil/ His vintage car seats, his career, and his cats

p(1) p(2) p(3)

Ao3

On paper, Patton and Roman were just friends

Eyes narrowed, Patton crammed another chunk of cake in his mouth, brushing away the crumbs with the sleeve of his newly finished knitted sweater.

Across the table his boyfriend, sighed, rolling his eyes, “You’re not going to convince me by throwing a tantrum,” He huffed, giving a pointed look over his tinted frames, jabbing his own barely touched cake with his finger for emphasis, “Look, girl, girl, you put too much damn vanilla in this.”

“I did not,” Patton swallowed, sniffing through the pain, “You’re just being mean.”

Remy scoffed, smiling, “Sure thing babe, “ he leaned over swiping some of Patton’s icing that escaped onto his face, tongue flicking out to taste that abomination of humanity, “Totally not,”

“Ugh, “ He batted Remy’s hands away, “No respect in this house I swear-” His nose curled, eyes darting to the kitchen, his kitchen, “My chocolate muffins shi-” He sprung from his chair, darting out the room, table and it’s random array of various holiday-themed ornaments clattering dangerously .

After a few dozen noticeable crashes from the danger zone, Remy's phone buzzed. Easily slipping it out, Remy glanced towards the kitchen before eying the string of texts, “Bitch,” he frowned, noting the recent timestamps of the vague as hell texts, “Ugh, this tea better be strong.”

He sighed, brushing off the remaining crumbs from his leather jacket, pushing his shades further up the bridge of his nose, he stood up, humming as he strolled to the door.

Swinging it open, he scowled, amused, “Isn’t it my favorite trash-man, what’s this? Late.” He tsked, moving to let Virgil inside.

“Shut your face,” Virgil sneered, quietly shutting the door behind him, not bothering to remove his jacket, “Weren’t you the man who was late to a dinner date at his own house?” His eyes narrowed, fighting the smile automatically curling on his face.

“I was seeing the sights,” Remy shrugged, lazily making his way back to the table.

Rolling his eyes, Virgil follows suit picking the seat closest to the door, “Remy, you disaster, you were in the house.”

“So,” said disaster clasped his hands, looking like a bored madman, “Where are these complications and how are they so complicated that you didn’t even spill over text?”

“Drama rat.”

“Correct, now did these complications involve the chess discourse or do they involve 80-year-old women threatening to destroy someone’s legacy from the source.”

“Neither,” Virgil said, reaching to steal Remy’s cake, which he pushed towards him gladly, “Though Lucy is pissed you didn’t visit last week,” he carelessly bit into a large chunk, face souring immediately, but swallowing nonetheless.

“Hey, this drama rat has to pay his bills.”

“Excuses, excuses,” Virgil ate another chunk with more visible ease, “Prince and Prince Charming are in the car,” he grumbled, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

“What are they making out all over your vintage seats or something?”

“I wish,” Virgil snorted, “They’ve been talking nerd the entire way, and that’d be fine if they didn’t somehow manage to shove their unresolved romantic- sexual shit into it.”

“Ah, I remember those days,” Remy almost swooned in distaste, “How long have those two have been pining? One? Two months or something?”

Virgil stared at him, slowly placing his fork down, blinking slowly, “Try... five... years.” he said as if the reality had just dawned on him.

He picked up his fork again, slamming it down for emphasis, “Five fucking years, holy shit. I’m done with Roman and his dramatic bullfuckshittery, fuck thi...and Logan. Logan. Nevermind I should’ve expected this...then again they aren't really obligated to define themselves, but my seats are too delicate to handle them avoiding it completely like they are--” his eyes were glazed, as he continued mumbled rant of vague curses.

Patton chose that moment to peek out of the kitchen, satin bonnet now on, smudges decorating his face, and soft hazel eyes holding a deathly gleam, “Did you just say Roman?”

Remy smiled sweetly, shooting Virgil a glare, “Yes, Roman, who just landed in Italy, right Virgil?”, meanwhile, he internally pleads for Virgil to shut the fuck up.

Virgil flushed, avoiding Patton’s curious gaze, “R-right, Italy--Italy. You know this cake is really good Patton let’s talk about that and not Roman, who is in Italy. Rome. Like his name...” he said, stuffing another scoop of the overtly flavored cake in his mouth.

Sensing weakness, Patton narrowed his attention onto Virgil, who unlike Eaton, could hardly manage to tell any less than the truth. It’s what Patton had always liked about Virgil. Especially moments like now, when Remy couldn’t sass his way out of interrogations.

“Virge,” Patton tilted his head, just a bit, batting his eyelashes, “You wouldn’t know if Roman, who I love more then anything-”

“The fuck am I?” Remy scoffed, not surprised

“Boyf-best-friend is different then Best-best-friend, love-” Patton corrected, not missing how Virgil none too subtly tried to fade into the furniture, “So, if I text him now he wouldn’t tell me he’s outside?”

“I….Uh.” Virgil looked to Remy for assistance.

They both knew the only other person worse then Virgil at keeping secrets from Patton was Roman. Not because he couldn’t lie for shit, hell he could give Eaton a run for his money if the chips were down. No, it was more like Roman would actually kill a man before he willingly disappointed Patton, even for a surprise.

Remy looked away like a goddamn traitor.

And that was enough evidence for Patton to go power walking out the door, not even bothering to put on shoes. By the time the other two had trudged out there, Virgil briefly raiding the kitchen beforehand, Patton was a bundle of giggles, excitedly chattering and bounding around the guest. Roman looking pleased, face flushed and beaming, and Logan looking vaguely disoriented, standing behind Roman as if Patton would bite.

‘Which he does.’ Remy smiled, standing in the doorway, eyes appreciatively watching his boyfriend’s freckled face, his initial irritation washing away.

“Ugh, stop giving me oogies,” Virgil blandly complained, not really looking up from his popcorn, “ I thought you said you ate your emotions.”

“I do. Without remorse,” Remy said, watching Patton’s attempts to talk to Logan, “--but he’s like, really cute though, look at him he’s like a puppy— it’s hella unfair.”

“Excuses,” Virgil glanced at Patton, who still wore that damned sweater dress, despite the rapidly fading brief winter weather, “Valid as they are—“ he admitted between mouthfuls, “Are still excuses yah filthy gremlin. Just admit it, you’re old and full of icky emotions like the rest of us.”

Remy scoffed, looking over his sunglasses appalled and mouth open for rebuttal, but whatever not teen rated thing he had to say was halted all as once as Patton twirled around, beckoning him to greet their guests.

Remy slid away quick with a bit too much skip in his “cool guy” walk to even be considered casual.

Virgil rolling his eyes and stubbornly remaining in the air conditioning called out, “You fucking softie..”

“You bet your vintage ass I am,” Remy said, flipping him off before sliding an arm around Patron guiding him and their honored guest inside.

Watching the clouds gather outside, Virgil knew it was going to be a long night.

Patton sighed into the cheap lawn chair they kept on the porch, the soft rolling of thunder, and the soft thuds of the incoming rain a familiar accompaniment as he lazily stirred his tea. It was strange to think that the holidays used to feel so...draining.

A lot of the time he spent it trying to ignore the overwhelming loneliness it brought seeing the whole world past lights blazing, laughing easy. Even when he was offered a place to spend the days with Roman and his parents or Virgil and his grandmother, even the rare occasions Eaton offered to let him hang out with their group of friends, it felt like he was intruding in someone else’s moment.

But now...the moment felt all his. It wasn’t the flashy lights or dramatic public displays, it wasn’t traveling the world, throwing himself headfirst into whatever life gave. it was something softer, comfortable. And he loved it. So he didn’t understand why he felt so…

“Oh, Patt, there you are,” the screen door opened, Roman ducking outside easily.

Patton swallowed, setting his tea aside, “Yea, Virge kicked me out of the kitchen,” he sniffed, “-and I don’t drink at every possible occasion, unlike some people.”

“Hey, hey, is that judgment?” Roman gasped, sitting in the other chair gayly, feet somehow propping themselves up while simultaneously maintaining an air of politeness, “Or-or, is it you're mad that shades and you lost?

“Oh I’m not judging,” Patton hummed, judgmentally, “I’m just saying that shoving Remy off the couch, while he was already tipsy is a questionable method at winning Mario Cart.”

“Virgil promised me a dollar if I did, that’s a lie I did it for free.” Roman shrugged, taking down his messy bun and threading his hands through his hair, “Anyway! Shades and Specs are sulking because I kicked their asses once again and, now, ugh! Refuse to give me any more attention, “ he whined, slumping further into his seat, “Patton, I needed attention, I can feel my youth draining already.”

Patton snorted, “What about Virgil?”

“He’s sleeping like a babe,” Roman scratched his chin, “A very loud grumpy babe, who hissed when I moved him upstairs because he can’t admit he likes being carried.”

“So I’m your last choice?” Patton said, “I’m hurt.”

“You shouldn’t and you weren’t,” he said, “I would’ve bugged you earlier but Remy threatened to slice me like a cake if I disturbed your peace. “ He sniffed, “The nerve, me? Disturbing the peace? I’m a delight.”

“Well, there was second grade when…”

Roman’s face flushed, “I was a kid, a very justified, gay kid.”

“Mhm, that’s what you always say,” Patton said, grinning, “How about that time at the park, with Ms. Flores. -”

“She might be old, may she be at peace, but she was petty and I never fail to rise to the challenge.” he crossed his arms, “And don’t mhm me, it was second grade! I’m allowed to have crushes, even if they have abysmal taste in writing.”

“Now that I think about it you’ve had crushes on a lot of our friends, most turned into squishes but... hmm..” he sipped his tea content, “Virgil, Eaton, Nate, Terrence-”

“Pat, please no, you said you loved me,” Roman groaned through his hands.

“I think me at one point?” Patton said, setting his cup down, “Don’t know why though…”

“I was five,” He huffed, “And you are cutest out of all of them.”

“Mhm, sounds fake, but that ring pop was pretty, plus,” Patton said, before adding on a bit more quietly, “I think it’s cute you had so much love to give,” He curled into the seat tighter, that creeping unease settling on him as easily as he pushed it away.

“Huh,” Roman paused, “I thought I was just...flaky.”

“No…” Patton frowned, “No. You are not a flake Roman, you throw yourself into everything, into everyone. You didn’t stop loving your crushes, you just love them a different way."

"No relationship is ever just…” Patton's voice hitched, “ no person is just a stepping stone for you. Well,” he forced a laugh, “At least I hope not, you have gotten pretty big online...you travel all the time, meet people all the time. Your career’s bigger than anything I've made in the workshop…”

Ah, that’s the feeling.

Not jealous….just…less. Too slow. Not enough. He was almost 30 after all, what has he to show, what has he done?

“Uh, Patton amour, pardon my french, but that’s bullshit,” Roman said, brow furrowed and trained on him.

“Wha-?”

“It's,” Roman leaned closer, “Bull-” he said, “Shit.”

Before Patton could finish gaping and respond, Roman jumped in, “Did you or did you not pay and work your way to college?”

“It was a community college-”

“It was unthinkable for you. Remember? You expected to fail high school, to barely get your GED.”

Patton smiled sadly, “I hated school.”

“As you should, some, not Mrs. Huang she was a saint, those teachers were fucking obnoxious shits with only a diploma shoved up their--”

Roman grumbled shaking his head, “Let it go-Let it go-Let it fucking go--,” he half sang, “Anyway, you hated the system, but you worked it. You graduated, went to college with little support at home. And got a whole job.”

“Roman I…” Patton slumped, “That’s great, wonderful, fantastic, but got that job I expected to...move on, to make a change, now I don’t have any expectations at all. I don’t have a growing career…”

“No, but you have a stable one.” Roman said, hugging himself, “Sure, my growth might be a bit much...but that’s all I have right now. Growth. Nothing’s stable, nothing’s set in stone...nothing is ...mine.”

“Roman…”

“No, I’m not being self-deprecative...I think. It’s just,” Roman sighed, rocking in his seat, “When my blog’s gone when my videos are gone when my friends all around the world start to settle down what do I have to show my progress?

"Patton, you have a home, a community you support and see every day, a fiance who loves you as much as you love him. I love my life to death, I’m thankful I can even have it, but sometimes, a lot of times, I think. Shocking, yes, but I think."

"About when I’m old, about when I’m dying, about when I don’t want to do this anymore. When I just want to settle down and just rest I--” He laughed, body jerking unnaturally," Will I even have a chance? None of it seems real now…And I-” he squeaked, Patton plopping into his lap.

“Pat-” Roman whined, “I --Ugh, sorry I was supposed to let you sulk,” Patton rested his head on Roman’s shoulder, playing with his hands.

“We can sulk like this,” Patton said, throat tight, “Being sad with friends is a preference of mine.”

“Even if it solves nothing?”

Patton closed his eyes, “Who says we have to solve anything?”

Because in the end, they were just Patton and Roman

#PaperPrinciples #Roman Sanders #Patton Sanders #Remy Sanders #Virgil Sanders #Logan Sanders #Sanders Sides #Sanders Sides Fanfiction

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