#ugh i hurty

[bigbrotherlouis]

i would love to hear more about mcstrome 🫡

realistically i'm sure it's the age-old story of two kids end up in the same place and become best friends because of proximity and then once they leave being in each others' presence and grow up into adults that friendship fades away but there's still fondness there.

however fictionally? alexa play ribs by lorde

you are fifteen years old. you are fifteen years old and you have been drafted to a new team in a new city in a new country. you are the youngest person on your team and you are probably the best person on your team and you are eight hours from home, granted special exception to be drafted a year early into the OHL and you are proving yourself against boys two, three, four years older than you, but despite it all your team finishes almost dead last. you are rookie of the year.

you are sixteen years old. you are sixteen years old, and the second best player in the draft, the draft that should've been yours but wasn't, is coming to your team. you know him. you meet him in the summer and you're already friends, fast friends, and you've been dreaming about being teammates again. he talks fast and he's fiercely loyal and he keeps up with you on the ice and he reminds you of home. he is not your best friend yet but he will be. he invites you home during the summers and asks if you want to play street hockey with him. you come and you sit on the sidelines, already conscious of the worth of your body enough that you know this is not something you should be participating in. he doesn't care, though, captain of a team, yelling at mitch marner who is an awful goalie and keeps letting in goals, and winning that summer. you go to the beach together, pale and stretched out on the sand, and now you are best friends.

you are seventeen years old. you are seventeen years old and they have just named you the captain of your team. you're wearing the letter with pride but people are talking about you like you're the second coming of hockey jesus. they've been talking about you for a while now, but this feels like more. this feels heavy. you break your hand in a fight in november because you are, after all, still a teenage boy. you sit out and watch as your best friend lights up the ice. he is the best person out there when you're on the bench and it shows in the stats and the points. he can tell you all the stats and the points because he's good at remembering those. he says he can remember every single play he's ever made and honestly? you kind of believe him. the haunting specter of the draft covers your entire year, looming in the corners of your vision, colouring every interaction. you are good, and he is good, and there is no chance of being drafted together, no matter how much you secretly hope. the calendar is a countdown clock towards your end, but you make him promise you will stay best friends because you don't really know what you will do without him.

you are eighteen years old. you are eighteen years old and edmonton has already made your jersey even though the draft hasn't happened yet. the graveyard of first overalls and rumors of a curse after gretzky left. you're the next gretzky and you're the next coming of hockey jesus and the entire city is waiting for your salvation. he goes third. phoenix, which is the literal opposite of edmonton. you hang off of him the entire weekend before, realising that this is the crescendo. you will never be otters together again. there's little chance you'll even be teammates again, so you cling tight even as you're so breathlessly excited for the moment your name get called first. you trip off the stage in a jersey that doesn't quite fit right but has your name on the back, and quietly ask if you can watch this next pick before you go backstage. you twine yourselves in a hug when he follows behind and it feels awfully like a goodbye.

now.

you are eighteen years old. you are eighteen years old and your best friend is drafted number one overall. you always knew he was better. you always knew he was made for more, so it doesn't hurt. you're happy to follow in his footsteps because you are his best friend and nothing will ever change that. besides, third is still a good number. amazing, even. they send you back to erie but you expected that. no one makes it to the show unless they are exceptional or a team is desperate, and edmonton is both. he scores his first nhl point in his third game and you are named captain of the otters. life is good. he breaks his collarbone less than a month in, shattering his rookie dreams. he comes home to you, in erie, because no one else understands him like you do. no one knows how to manage him when he's broken and angry, but you have patience and a lot of love and loyalty. you lie in your big bed and take up most of the mattress, two grown boys in the dark, and you don't kiss him. you could, but you don't.

you are nineteen years old. you are nineteen years old and he is named captain of his nhl team, also at nineteen. he is the youngest captain in history. thirteen days later, you score your first point. a month after that, arizona sends you packing back to erie. this time it hurts. you were doing your best and it wasn't bad and your best friend is captain of the oilers and you are playing with your high school team again. they make you captain for the second year in a row, but it's not the oilers and it's not the coyotes, so does it actually fucking matter? you are determined to prove everyone wrong and so you drag your team to the memorial cup. you win and it feels like a fuck you and it is maybe the best moment of your goddamn life. your phone is quiet. you haven't had any texts from edmonton for months.

you are twenty years old. you are twenty years old and this is finally your goddamn year. except-- you go pointless in two games and arizona decides that's not good enough. you've aged out of the otters so you pack your bag for tuscon instead. you spend your winter bouncing between the nhl and the ahl, sometimes so fast it makes you sick. winter in the desert feels weird, feels barren. you lie on your floor under the a/c and deliberately do not think of the time you almost kissed your ex-best friend. he's your ex-best friend because he's got a new one up there, draisaitl who also went third but the year before you. he can keep up with him, even better than you can, because he's not being bounced up and down. you wonder if draisaitl ever wants to kiss him. you wonder if draisaitl ever has.

you are twenty one years old. you are twenty one years old and you are a draft bust. they've been calling you that for years but now they're right. arizona trades you to chicago for practically nothing, which is embarrassing, but it's alright because you've got an old otter, brinksy, there on your team. you're nothing special, but you're nothing bad either. if only you hadn't touched the hem of hockey jesus as a teenager. if only you hadn't known what greatness tastes like. when you face off against edmonton, he won't meet your eye. he slides out of the centre dot and draisaitl steps in and wins the draw.

you are twenty three years old. you are twenty three years old and you have a girlfriend now, a pretty one, and it's-- good. your team makes it to the weird-ass playoffs in august, because there's a pandemic now, and you get trapped in a hotel in edmonton. your girlfriend tells you that she's pregnant right before you leave, like right before, and you can barely care about anything else. you barely care that he is two floors below you and the last message in your texts was a happy birthday! three years ago. unimaginably, you knock him out of the playoffs on his home ice. in the handshake line, he offers you his palm and his eyes skate over you like you're a stranger.

you are twenty five years old. you are twenty five years old, and on yet another new team. that's good, though, even if he will always be so much better. your fiance asks if she should send an letter to an edmonton address and you hesitate. you are no longer friends anymore. you haven't been for years and years, even if you lie when the press ask. but you loved him, once. you loved him so much that you were part of him and he was part of you, and the teenager on a shared bed in the dark will not let you forget that. you put his name down on an envelope.

so.

you are twenty five years old. you are twenty five years old and a wedding invitation arrives at your front door. you slide your fingernail under the flap and freeze when you see the faces on the front. there's a secret you will never tell anyone, not even on your deathbed, but you think of it now. it takes up so much space in your lungs that you can barely breathe. and it hurts. your girlfriend, who you love very much finds you shredding paper into a wastebasket and asks if everything is alright. you lie. you can't imagine not lying and so she doesn't catch you at it. you tell her that you've always wanted to go to manchester, england. you tell her that you should plan a trip for the summer, and you end up on a plane to a different continent while your ex-best friend is getting married back home.

you are sixteen years old. you are sixteen years old and flat on your back at the beach, listening to the water lap up on shore. beside you, he drops to the ground to stretch out too, his bare arm pressing up against your own. it dawns on you, as consuming and as present as gravity, that you are in love with him. it dawns on you that maybe you always be.

you're the only friend i need / sharing beds like little kids / we'll laugh until our ribs get tough / but that will never be enough

#you: can you tell me about mcstrome? #me: writes 1800 words in second person and hopes for the best #second favourite dstrome couple for REAL #ugh i miss them #the most hurty and star crossed lovers story #dylan strome #connor mcdavid #mcstrome #connordylan #hockey #hockey boys #2015 draft class #jes thank you for sending mcstrome anons my way:)))

[eccentricwearsgoggles]

hmmm I was not designed to pull all nighters I am still recovering

#1st shift down out of 3 of working overnight #and woke up close to 2pm #head hurtie and i want to eat but dont know what #ugh im in such a weird headspace rn i was not meant for this #personal

[mamawasatesttube]

fucked up that tumblr polls cant be like 20 minutes long bc i cant even outsource the decision whether to try to write or to go take a nap. ive been waffling for like... half an hour. maybe more

#rimi talks #on the one hand... amok tim. #on the other hand... head hurty so tired :( :( :( #on the third hand... i already took one 3 hour nap today i feel like i should maybe try to stay awake #on the second hand again. Head Hurty So So Tired 😭😭😭 #and again on the first hand. amok tim !!!! #this is why ive been waffling ugh

[biohazard-inevitable]

Human biology: ugh we are sick and need to go to sleep the tv is too bright and its 2 am go to BED we called out of work we couldnt breathe this morning we were so congested

The creature within: BUT THE HYPERFOCUSSSSSS!!! THE AUTISM YEARNS FOR THE ANSWER!!!! STATISTICALLY WE COULD GO TILL 6 am!!!! WE COULD FINISH THE ZOU ARC TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!

#lifeblogging #human side won this round #we are just too tired and head hurty so bad #but ugh did i HAVE to tap out after more sanji lore drops #im so INVESTED rn #and then i have work tomorrow which will be *annoying* #i mean- its not that its hard or anything #it just means i wont be using my time to binge one piece #which- mhhh- i guess is considered normal #but the autism is eating me ALIVE #by my estimate i should be able to get mid-wano by may #and then possibly get caught up by summer #idk we’ll see how it goes #but thats how fast ive been binging #had to take a breather here and there #and honestly after WCI i may take a larger breather #gotta pace myself before i break myself #but gahhhhhhh my BRAIN is latched

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

u know i said i trip down stairs often but i tend to catch myself i've only actually fallen to the floor like once or twice in the last few years (all at the fault of my school's poorly-maintained staircases and sidewalks like jfc man this is an old school but please can we fix those they're hazards (well that wouldn't be the worst the age has done to the school a couple semesters ago part of the ceiling collapsed on someone in the oldest building and i'm like. huh. yo is this a hazard are we safe here but the truth is none of the older buildings are safe u must seek out the newest buildings if u wish to not be attacked by the poor weathered old corpses of those poor poor ill-maintained structures. they deserve better, you know. and yet...)) anyway i was super pissed the last time i fell bc i tripped on a very heavy-traffic staircase in front of everyone who was running to class i was like wow i'm going to die rn for real and everyone was like if you don't get your dumb ass out of my fucking walkway i will trample you to death and spit on your corpse so i (rightly) never go near that staircase

#apologies if my words are odd this is because the hour is late and my tongue is loose from a day of being slightly on-edge and more than #a little lost in my head. btw if ur birth is today i will draw smth for u but currently my hands are so fucked they hurt like my essay #writing days (a couple weeks ago) idk how to fix them but they hate me so i may be unable to draw smth for u rn :(( #ugghhhh i am cursed my hands hurty my back hurty my head hurty if things are not just right and my everything hurty if i touch #something evil ugh curse my life *dramatically falls and idk dies or smth*

[nthngtoseehere-blog]

I'm watching Until We Meet Again (Thai drama) and this is the sweetest show in the whole fucking world I'm dying 🥹🥹🥹

#until we meet again #thai drama #thai bl #oh no its so cute #but also hurty #ugh i love it

[platypusisnotonfire]

Im assembling a dresser.

Should I be assembling a dresser right now? I have no idea.

Do I want all my clothes off my piano?

So much.

#all these prices are pretty light #a tiny stupid stitch is sticking out of my chest and it’s hurty 😂 #I’m whining it’s nothing compared to the actual pain of recovery but I feel like a pathetic wet cat of a man today #that’s a whole specific mood #a unique flavor #ugh everything is hot and humid and tiring and now I have a STITCH sticking out #I want to whinge about it #but yeah the parts of this dresser are light let’s see if I can assemble it without breaking myself

[sotc]

I want to draw a fanart of Touchstarved sooo bad, I'm inspired by the artstyle to draw in general, and I wanna work on commissions but my hands hurt so I can't do anything... 😭😭

#Day 2 of hand pain... Yesterday was cleaning to pass time now that I've done that I'm just simply laying around Lmao ugh #I just have repetitive stress hand pains so using the comp at all hurtie

[spaghett-onaplate]

the storm is passing (my period is ending)

#but jfc the other days have been intolerable just lying in bed. yesterday i had WORK TOO. OUGH #at least the bad pain was only for about a third of the shift and i was just standing still for three and a half hours #but ugh i was on 3 hours of sleep and in pain so tired and so hurty i felt like i was gonna black out #but its ok! at least i got paid! better than feeling all that and just suffering for free #im like if jesus christ wasn't not for profit #but also hey im just standing at the door why cant i have a stool or something. no reason to be standing #same as cashiers they should be able to sit

[vampireknitting]

I wish ibs had a nose I could punch. Like I keep going over what could have made me feel this awful today and it's nothing out of my usual other than the wings I deep fried. Which idk if I'll be doing that again because deep fried things don't always sit right but the meat based things tend to do fine. But I made them. I only used stuff that doesn't hurt which means I'm not doing that again period.

#ibs flare #ibs symptoms #ugh i hate this #tummy hurty #i think i might do another elimination diet to see what could be the cause of this all #i hate to be so picky but this is not worth trying to ignore with smoking #gonna be losing weight if this keeps up #i mean i have 65lbs to get back to a good healthy weight anyways #but i want to be healthy not sick #frustrated on main

[the-kipsabian]

place your bets, how much more sick do i feel tomorrow

#so far the last two days ive been steadily losing my voice and my throat hurts constantly #also today ive been sneezing like nonstop and also head hurty #im fairly sure i have a cold so yay thats gonna be funnnnnn #i didnt need energy the rest of the week i guess ugh #anyways im going to bed bye #night is an absolute mess on main

[valentineish]

Sometimes I lie to myself and say... maybe I can tolerate a little alcohol. If I hydrate really really well, and time some medications and skip others, and only have like a quarter of a beer/glass of wine/shot. And every single time, my body experiences hell for my folly.

#alcohol intolerance is a hell of my own making #i just wanted a little shot glass of a fun drink! it was mostly mixer!!! #my head is killing me. my asthma is constricting my lungs. the stomach flu levels of nausea. #UGH #open mic night #alcohol #i'll be fine btw. my tummy and head just hurty from the whisper of adult beverage.

[mamawasatesttube]

why is it so hard to find timkon fic where the author remembers that kon is an actual character in his own right and not just in existence to be tim's potential love interest

#like the amount of tag trawling im having to do to find smth good to read while lying here in agony............. #i Know being in stupid amounts of pain since yesterday is why im in such a mood but gdi. this is not helping #took one look at the timkon tags and saw so much about dcyj and went No Thank You and then im having to dig on ao3? life is suffering #im being dramatic it just ouch oof fuckin hurty ugh #anyway. i give up ill find something else to distract myself with bc this sure ain't it chief #will prob delete this later im just grouchy bc of my agonies etc #rimi talks

[bluebellhairpin]

Ever since I had that ovarian cyst burst, I get flashbacks when my lower tummy hurts.

#like i can physically feel my heart rate go UP when i get hurties #especially if i know im going out or if im left alone #bc i get in the headspace of 'omg what if i have another cyst and it bursts and i need to go to ER again' #even though cysts are super common and most women get one in their lifetime #and after you have one your chances of more both go down EXPEDIENTLY (while also going up?) #ugh its just awful #i hate being a woman sometimes #nemos thoughts

[vancilocs]

Ah rats i keep missing the ask memes

Half and half with dana/hecca and neja/yecal?

i reblogged this on sunday so i actually graduated in the meanwhile

1. Who most initiates PDA?

I think Hecca a bit more often, but Dana greets her with a kiss as easily

2. Any sleep habits either had to get used to?

Dana definitely had to get used to Hecca being topless and then also Ini's disrespect

3. Hot and Steamy or Soft and Tender?

Maaaainly soft n' tender, hot n' steamy is reserved for when they're very alone

4. How did they first meet?

Dana needed to use the laundromat

5. What is their love language?

Verbal and physical affection, quality time

6. When did they realize they loved each other?

After a while of dating I bet, after Dana got more comfortable with Ini also

7. Who is more sentimental?

Probably Hecca

8. What’s one way their personalities compliment one another?

They're both kind, genuine, open and honest

9. How are their personalities different?

Dana is more reserved and more used to following orders, after all he works as a clerk and Hecca has her own business

10. What are some non-sexual activities they do together? 

Make food or go out for drinks and food, watch TV, do chores

11. Which member is more physically affectionate?

Maybe Hecca just a bit more, but Dana shows a lot of it too

12. Which member is more verbally affectionate?

Similarly pretty equal, calling each other beautiful every day

13. Which member steals borrows the other ones clothing?

Dana is a bit taller and has big hoodies he forgot to return to Doran Hecca can borrow

14. Are they an introverted couple or an extroverted one—AKA would they prefer to go out to a party or event together or would they rather stay in?

They like dressing up and going out, going to bars is common

15. Who is more likely to make an impulsive decision and who is the voice of reason?

Dana is the voice of reason in the sense that Hecca isn't the brightest

16. Who stays up way too late and who tries to drag them to bed?

Unless Dana has a deadline at work, he goes to bed pretty early. If anyone is staying up for too long it's Ini

17. Who fell in love first?

Probably Hecca

18. What song fits them perfectly?

i dunno

19. How do they deal with being away from each other for a long time?

Doing chores and other tasks to occupy themselves, call the other if they're not busy

20. Who holds a grudge the longest?

Ini

------

21. Which of the two is quick to speak and which one is quick to listen?

Neja talks a lot, she talks fast, she can be hard to follow but Yecal can keep up well

22. Who gets more easily embarrassed?

I don't think if either is easy to embarrass

23. Who overthinks the most?

Yecal because Neja doesn't think much, he can he concerned for her safety in a country dealing with active civil war all he wants

24. Which of the two is the most competitive?

Might be Neja

25. Who’s the most stubborn?

Also probably Neja

26. How do they comfort each other?

Scratch Yecal's ears until he hurururs, give snack, show boobs. Neja can be scooped up entirely and kissed until she stops being sad

27. What random everyday object/activity makes them think of each other?

Neja can't pass the chain link fence of the docks without thinking about the time they scaled it

28. Do they get along with each other’s friends and family?

Yes, but Neja did give her family the scare of their life when introducing her upcoming husband to them

29. What is their sex life like?

Active, rambunctious

30. What is their favorite place to kiss the other? (Cheek, hand, closed eyelid, neck, nose, etc.)

Neja kisses on he mouth and cheeks, she likes forehead and mouth

31. What’s the relationship like? Smooth? Rocky?

It's smooth, they've passed their biggest rocks

32. How do they resolve their arguments?

By explaining their point of view and finding a resolution

33. Who has the most nightmares and how do they deal with them?

Neja doesn't, if Yecal does he can just cuddle up to her

34. Do they give each other nicknames?

Neja the type who hasn't called Yecal by his first name in years, always babe or baby or honey etc.

35. What movies do they enjoy watching most?

Action

36. How’d they meet each other’s families?

Pretty sure Yecal brought her to meet his family before they were married, Neja invited her family to the wedding as in oops i forgot to mention I was seeing someone

37. What do they like the least about each other?

Too sharp nails, when Yecal tries to fix something he doesn't know how to. Neja leaves stuff laying around and can be forgetful

38. What was their most memorable date?

Does the first time they met count

39. What other couple would your otp get along with the best?

Maybe Shyn and Trias, Marcy's too introverted

40. Who makes the other smile with almost no effort at all?

Both all the time

#i took apart my desk and my bedframe and took down all the curtains and packed most of my stuffs #still need to clean the bathroom and do some dishes and clean the kitchen #but ive been on my feet so much without my insoles that its hurty #also i need to go to the store to get food which is UGH #just taking a lil break #long oc thing

[dahldahlbills]

mmm thin line art… so good so clean so satisfying … except when i do it

#legit have so much respect for artists that do thin line art #esp when they don’t use stabilizers or anything oof that’s good stuff #and when the lines are still a lil wobbly OR SUPER MESSY BUT STILL CONVEY THE RIGHT SHAPES #ugh yeah that really scratches the itch on my brain #like they just scream Confident and its *chef’s kiss* i love that #whenever i try it just looks Bad #and!! it make elbow hurty >:( #guess im just forever destined (doomed??) to do thick line art #arting #like obv im gonna keep trying bc i want The Range #but idk if that feeling will ever go away lol