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jcmorrigan · 4 years

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Another f/o ramble...but this time, not a selfshippy one. This one’s more about ficfam, so I guess “ficfam” is another tag to block if you don’t wanna see my ridiculousness (and I do wanna come up with a weird name for our family unit as well for tags)

But lately, I realized I kind of...needed a certain type of parental f/o. Sometimes you just...feel there are parts of you the RL parents don’t get, even if the RL parents are extremely nice. And sometimes you just want somebody to tell you they’re proud of you in a very, very big sense at a time when it wouldn’t be convenient for RL parents to do so. Or maybe “you” is “just me.”

I’d kind of accepted Archibald Snatcher as a distant father-mentor figure a while back because I managed to pick up some of his silver-tongued manipulation skills to talk my way out of minor sticky situations and resolve work stuff, and I always imagine him thinking I’m just a wonderful little protégé...but I wanted some imaginary ‘rents I could rely on for affection anywhere, anytime, and Archie isn’t that.

So this time, I thought about Giovanni and what contributed to him being such a good romantic f/o, and realized a big part of that was that he was in a morally gray place - I like having someone around who’s kind and sensitive and fun, but also lets me do some BAD THINGS and allows me freedom. So I realized my ideal parental f/o’s had to be somewhere in that range. I had thought about Globby and Felony Carl, but it didn’t quite click (even though I think they have super Dorky Dad vibes). But then another idea hit me...and I think I have the answer? I’ve been liking it for almost 24 hours, anyway.

I think Moxxie and Millie from Helluva Boss are my parental f/o’s now.

They fit the moral gray spectrum - they have intense loyalty to each other and display the love of the sweetest family units, but they’re also trained assassins who solve problems with guns. And, just, thinking about it, giving myself an AU where I was an imp raised in VivzieHell (I imagined myself as a kiddo being raised by them from youth, so a lot of these will sound kiddish)...

-Millie is just a bundle of love. She’s always chipper and singing and dancing with me, playing games.

-Moxxie is a bit more straitlaced, and he’s not exactly the “fun parent,” but I can’t stay mad at him for too long, because he’ll personally come into my room and sing me a song he wrote especially for me on his guitar until I fall asleep.

-I was a very...emotional child, even more so than I am now. I had anger issues. Unfortunately, living with these two would not have solved that, as their resolution to problems is to 1. scream at it 2. kill it with fire, but in this AU, I kind of like being able to just get angry and be a loose cannon and just LOSE all decorum and get it off my freakin’ CHEST. Let me have some more meltdowns to achieve more calm-down time.

-Speaking of which, Moxxie and I would be cut from the same cloth in that regard, and if Millie can handle Moxxie’s mood swings, she can handle mine!

-I also think Moxxie being so neurotic would also give him some sympathy for having a hypochondriac daughter who thinks she has cancer every five months or so. (Even if his first reaction is always a very deadpan “You don’t have cancer.”)

-But during purges, we’re all three scared and just huddle in the back bedroom together.

-When I get a new crush, Millie wants to hear all about THE BOOOYYYYY and goes on a big old quest to get him and me on a DATE!

-They’re Viv characters, so I have no doubt they’re 100% A-okay with having an ace daughter...even if I have to be grossed out with constant reminders that my parents FUCK ALL THE TIME

-Anyone hurts me? Oh, they’re about to meet the business end of every single one of Moxxie and Millie’s weapons.

-That person’s double dead if it was a boy who broke my heart.

-(Shared universe? Giovanni is safe. They LOVE Giovanni. Actually, XR is enough of a “sinner” that Millie would think of him as a perfect bad boy, and Tony knows he’s gotta play the gentleman around these two or the Moxxie-bomb will explode. So I think all three of my romantic f/o’s have an in.)

-From the time I was small, both of them were so ready to praise anything I did creatively and mean it. “You drew this? This is beautiful! I’m gonna put this on the fridge!” Now that I’m older, they actually check my fanfiction word count. “THAT’S A WHOLE NOVEL! THAT’S SO GREAT!”

-When I was a child, it took me a LONG time to learn to swear because I thought it was Against the Rules and therefore a very bad thing. Growing up with these two, I would not have had that problem. Baby Rachel’s first word is “Fuck” despite their every attempt to make it “Moxxie”

-Actually, growing up in Hell might be a weirdly good thing for me? Because I could get exposure therapy for my fears and also see that The Rules aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. And this society doesn’t mind if I break a few.

-Basically, I grow up a lot more boisterous than I am now, for better or for worse. Maybe my character arc has to be about softening up enough to keep friends.

-But Moxxie and Millie would be loyal to me even at my loneliest and keep checking in on my emotional state. No way I get a depression spell they don’t notice.

-I feel like they would call me “Our little poison-dart frog!”.

-Also they teach me the art of murder and dismemberment. This is a dark AU. But I can finally exact REVENGE whenever I want REVENGE (note: I WOULD NOT WANT DEADLY REVENGE IRL)

-Blitzo is my weird uncle who Moxxie keeps trying to keep away from me because he thinks he’s being a “creep” but Blitzo means well and ends up taking me out to have some fun hang-out days because we all know he wants a kid of his own too if Loona is any indication

-Also, so long as I’m in VivzieHell, I feel like working concierge at the Happy/Hazbin Hotel would actually be a perfect fit for me so I can actually move OUT of my imp parents’ house? Charlie would need all the help she could get and is the ideal type for one of my BEST FRIENDOS. Also this would allow me to interact with people, get up and get moving daily, work unconventional hours, and be in the one part of Hell where a sense of morality actually matters.

-As for even WEIRDER crossovers...ever since Helluva Boss debuted, I’ve been dying to stick Moxxie/Millie and Nergal/Sis from Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy on a double date (and YES, Nergal would use his fourth wall powers to figure out that Moxxie has his nephew’s voice actor). Like, this is the subject of a whole other post, but you have Millie and Nergal skipping through the oceans of blood together while Sis and Moxxie make sardonic comments about passerby. Anyway, if I can blend these two ‘verses (or do something about giving my Twilight Town s/i to this crew for TBTC), then I get to have Uncle Nergal, Aunt Sis, and Cousin Junior (WE DON’T. TALK. ABOUT MY CRUSH-ON-NERGAL PHASE. HE’S MY FICFAM NOW). And I just love all three of those prospects so much.

I don’t know if I’m going to flesh out a full impverse for myself (anyone got a demon-maker Picrew that will let me have crimson skin and horns on hand?) or if I’m going to find a way to shoehorn this into TBTC with Rachel Inlustris, but right now, I just like imagining that at the end of a hard day, Moxxie comes up beside me, puts an arm around me, and says, “You did so good, little poison-dart frog.”

#ficfam

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b-beeprichie · 6 years

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Eddie Is Spider-Man pt 2 ????

Title: Killer Clowns From Outer Space

Paring: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier

A/N: this is a drabble i found in my notes from awhile back, it’s connected to this one. there’s no real rhyme or reason i wrote this, i just really love marvel and the idea of eddie being spider-man??? anyway a couple ppl wanna see it, so here ya go. should i turn this into a series of some sort?? it’s un-beta’d and all that jazz, but at least it’s not hiding in my notes anymore! sorry for all the mistakes!

Warnings: Blood, Evil Toddler Clowns

Since teaming up with the Avengers became a somewhat regular thing, Eddie's discovered that bad guys come in all different shapes and sizes.

There's the usual petty theft criminals that Eddie honestly misses at times like these.

Why can't anyone simply rob a bank these days?

Or commit a mugging?

There are plenty of old ladies with oversized purses just begging to be snatched from unsuspecting liver spotted hands, it’s a real travesty.

Instead now everyone has mutant powers, the technology to blow Eddie through a building, or both. The bad guys are growing more advanced, more dangerous. Including these nasty, drooling, toddler sized clowns.

They wreak havoc throughout downtown, massive heads with extendable jaws, snapping viciously at anything that comes within reach.

Eddie will never look at the circus the same way again. "Guys?" Eddie called out to the nearby Avengers. "I don't know how much longer I can hold these things off, they’re chewing through my web like it's cotton candy and they have no respect for dental hygiene." Eddie bundled another group of clowns together, sticking them to any and every surface. They’re fast, even Captain America is having trouble keeping up with them, snatching one off his back and smacking it into a wall with his shield were it landed with a disgusting splat.

Oh yeah, they exploded into blood red slime, this was literally the stuff from nightmares. "I-I don't know w-where they're coming from." Cap said in frustration, only stuttering when things were going down hill.

From the way one of the clowns was currently trying it’s best to chew its way through Georgie's metal arm, things were going downhill fast.

Who knew they would need all hands on deck for small army of clowns.

At least Hulk was enjoying himself, stomping viciously on the redheaded critters, flinging slime every which direction with giant green fist. It never failed to surprise Eddie that the massive green Hulk in front of him, who was having far too much fun literally stomping demonic toddler clowns to death, was Mike Hanson. The same man who sat in a lab with him pouring over different scientific formulas. Eddie's life is so so weird. He's in the middle of rescuing a family trapped inside a car when a boot clad figure dressed in red drops down on the hood.

"Spidey, you didn't tell me Ronald McDonald had kids! You know morally, morally I can't hurt kids." Deadpool jumped off the car, katanas pulled out of their sheaths. "But I think I can make an exception for these squirmy clown fucks."

Things end very quickly after that, child sized body parts go flying as the herd of clowns Eddie had previously contained broke free and swarmed the remaining Avengers. It's a bloody massacre, Eddie's jaw is dropped in both shock and amazement as Richie sliced unnaturally fast through clowns starting burst after burst of exploding clown slime. By the time Richie is finished every clown is dead except for the one Captain America managed to capture.

The entire team is covered in thick blood red gunk. Including the family inside the car, windshield wipers starting up almost comically except for the fact it was smearing clown slime out the way. The kids inside are going to need therapy for the intense phobia of clowns they're most likely to develop after this.

"Fuck yeah, fuck yeah, fuck yeah! Did you SEE the shit." Richie grinns behind his mask and walks over to Eddie.

Eddie is covered in clown slime, he can feel it clinging to his suit, thick and gelatinous. He wants to throw up, oh god he's actually going to throw up. Life's hard when you're both a hypochondriac AND a superhero, this has happened more times than Eddie would like to admit. Some things didn’t go away with the bite, and his fear of germs and questionable substances is one of them. He’s working on it.

Eddie lifts the bottom of his mask, just enough so he's not blowing chunks inside the suit. The thought alone makes him gag even more, choking on the smell. He's taking the world's longest shower after this, and a nice long walk or two through one of Stanley's decontamination chambers. "Oh no, Spaghetti!" There's a gloved hand on his back rubbing gentle circles low on his spine, a little too low. "Are you seriously trying to cop a feel right now!" Eddie yelps, spitting the remaining bile out and swatting away Richies wandering hands. Only it's too late, when Eddie stands up to pull his mask back down the rest of the Avengers are standing around with various expressions of what the fuck. "Come on Spidey you know I can't keep my hands off you, have you seen you." "I'm literally vomiting!!" Captain America coughs loudly, and when Eddie looks over Iron man is standing next to him with his face plate drawn up. "Deadpool." Bill said sternly, which was much nicer that what Stan follows up with. "What is he doing here." Stan said pointedly.

It’s ridiculous how sassy and disappointed a red and gold metal suit can look. "Uhhh..." Eddie started, honestly not sure how to answer that question. What was Richie doing here?

"You didn't tell them about us?! This is no way for me to meet your dads! Look at them!" Richie gestured vaguely in the teams direction.

"Wait, you guys are together?" Hawkeye pointed between the both of them. Eddie wanted to die, he was covered in clown slime and sweat, everything smelled like vomit, he needed to shower, and now the Avengers thought he was dating a wanted criminal. "No!" Eddie shouted both hands up in defense. "I don't even know this guy!" Richie gasped dramatically, and okay that was a lie. "I mean I know him! But not like that, he's been following me! But we're NOT together!" Eddie turned towards Deadpool. "And they're not my dads, we're the same age! Except for Captain, hes old enough to be all our dads, but he's not our dad!" "He's been following you." Black Widow chose to speak up, all of the Avengers taking a defensive stance.

Richie takes a step back, sticking his katanas back into place. "Well this little family meeting has been nice and all but I gotta blow this popsicle stand. I hate clowns you know, very terrifying. This whole ordeal has been very traumatic for me and that’s really saying something, I've been through a lot." A large hand palmed the top of Eddie's head, and for moment his heart stops thinking Richie would pull off his mask. Instead Richie kissed the top of his head, making Eddie flush and shove away from him.

Richie laughs in response, running off into the slowly forming crowd.

"Should I go get him?" Ben questioned, crossbow aimed and ready to fire at what Eddie believes to be Richie’s ass.

Bill held up his hand and pinched the bridge of his nose, a sign to both hold off and express frustration.

"No, b-but you." He pointed at Eddie. "We need to have a serious conversation later, you're going to tell us everything."

Eddie whined but nodded.

Fucking Deadpool.

Fucking killer clowns.

#eddie is spiderman??#marvel/IT crossover #eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #It (2017)#fanfiction #reddie #should i continue?

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