#we live in different realities at this point like bitch I'm not fucking choosing that's not how the law works!!!!

[areyoudoingthis]

so apparently I'm being asked to "choose a gender" for the property paperwork for my house because "non binary isn't an option" and I'm developing an eye twitch. do these people know they make laws for a reason

#i was informed of this by my mother so i asked for the notary's phone number so i can have the conversation myself tho cause god knows my #mother can't be trusted to mediate this information exchange #but if the paperwork really does only have a binary option then i need to be directed to the office in charge of receiving my complaint #and providing a legal defense cause that's just plain fucking illegal #and the paperwork needs to catch up with the human rights guaranteed by the law #which is gonna delight my mother a whole hell of a lot skhsjsjsvsbsjs #but I'm not fucking 'picking a gender' what the absolute fuck #and she just slipped that request into a conversation about setting a date to go sign the paperwork like it was no big deal #my mother: and oh yeah btw you need to choose M or F I'm only telling you because if i pick you're gonna get mad at me #me: give me a sec i need to google the number of the human rights organization in charge of this particular issue #we live in different realities at this point like bitch I'm not fucking choosing that's not how the law works!!!! #and you can bet I'm damn right gonna be upset if you pick one for me you alien from outer space what are you even saying #anyway living outside the gender binary is my favorite thing except when it comes to paperwork cause it turns out no one's fucking done #their homework in the two years since the law was updated and i have to demand that everyone does whenever i want to exist legally in any #space #which i will continue to do because the law says it's my right and someone has to fucking get these people to do their damn job at some #point for the sake of nonbinary people everywhere in the country but it's exhausting #why does it have to be me #alex txt

[ashanimus]

This Belos Essay is Gross

I fully admit I did this to myself. I voluntarily went HEY you know what animates me like a vengeful eidolon to the point where I could chew solid stone while laughing? Ragging on the history of Christianity in America! Oh look! A cute gay show about disabled witches sticking it to Puritan Cult-Peddling Murder Grandpa (also known as Ash's personal bugbear)? SIGN ME UP? Lets dissect this dreadful son of a bitch in the context of his theological bullshit!

But then I get to the parts where I have to think about Belos and all the Grimwalkers and its sicker the more I think about it. Everyone knows of course its just. The depth of the violation and desecration and depravity in its own context is Beyond Grotesque.

I'll elaborate more on this later, but Puritans were obsessed with how a person's remains were kept. This scabrous donkey's bastard was mutilating the unburied remains of the brother he murdered for 400 years. The thing that makes me insane is that any attempts to tell himself "I'm saving your soul, Caleb" had to have petered out pretty quick in that process. He discards the Christian name. Starts calling them all Hunter. Witch Hunter, a title, a job description, a fucking factory tag. He even started branding them after a while, which we know now is a death sentence no matter how perfectly obedient they could have hoped to be. He knows he's not saving Caleb. He's farming the experience of his death.

"I'm starting to think you make those things just to destroy them."

Belos demurs, "Of course I don't, Collector. It hurts every time he chooses to betray me."

The fact they included this line from the Collector--someone who has observed and gleefully enabled this sick fuck for centuries--seems to suggest Belos' denial here is a weak one.

He does enjoy it! They show us! As soon as Luz and Hunter enter the mindscape, he goes out of his way to sabotage Hunter's loyalty. He gleefully drags the kids around, building up the reveals that will make Luz crumple to her knees and destroy Hunter's entire world. The timing. The showmanship of it all. He smiles when he flicks Hunter's little forelock.

"What a shame. Of all the Grimwalkers, you looked the most like him :)"

These are the words he intends to kill this kid by. The dude has been playing this game for CENTURIES and still enjoys the process of torturing them before he slaughters them. How many Grimwalkers died with some variation of "What? Who is Caleb?" on their lips--but the part that haunts me are the ones who lived long enough to say "Sorry" before they were killed. Phillip isn't saving Caleb's soul, he's punishing him over and over.

So why does he do this? How does the Puritan part factor into it? Other than the pleasure of murder that is. It makes me think of how the main purpose of missionaries is to experience rejection. Particularly when it comes to sending kids out from the church. The purpose of the whole affair there is to reinforce that The World Bad, and Rejects the Word of God, and the Only REAL community you have is the Church. They understand you. This creates not just the insulation that gives them a chance to practice the script of the Rejected Religious Warrior, but create distance from reality.

Belos has been working on the worlds most horrible DIY project. He's been doing it for 400 years. What on earth can sustain that laser focus, him working while his body monsterizes and turns to evil Ghibli goo around him? Man hasn't eaten real food in 400 years.

His brother's death! The point of no return in Phillips villain origin (inciting incident: the moment Caleb fell for Evelyn). Each incarnation is going to to have a witch's pointed ears and the Grimwalkers pink eyes, wear different scars that Belos himself stuck there, but it's still his face. Sure it's a younger face than Caleb had when HE died, but at this point it hardly matters. Phillip is farming Caleb's death to re-inspire the moment where genocide entered his heart. These witches have taken you from me, Caleb. I'll make them all pay.

But first, I'll make YOU pay.

This bitch was going to take time out of the Day of Unity to kill Hunter if he got him. My god. Given that he was pressed for time I like to think it would have been quick but god if this is any indication...ugh.

I feel gross! 8)

#toh #the owl house #toh spoilers #toh hunter #hunter wittebane #emperor belos #this is so messed up #ari don’t look! #this will end up in the video essay with more stuff but I had to get my thoughts out because its making me insane #ash's owl house meta

[messenger-of-stupidity]

NAH NAH NAH

Okay. Let's go through the thoughts of this latest update. There's a lot so buckle up buttercup.

1. Kravitas is literally so based. He's willing to spare Albus the suffering of long travel just because he's bored when typically he would enjoy Albus suffering.

2. Only Albus would risk insanity to spite a demon. Ever heard of cutting off your nose to spite your face, Albus? Seriously, these dude shot himself out of a fucking canon to stop Devlin from touching this hella cursed sword, but in typical Albus fashion when it's his safety and emotional welfare at stake common sense flies out the gods be damned window.

4. Is Kravitas really a demon or was his statement last episode about being more than that the truth that Albus just chose to call bullshit on?

5. Kerano, sweetie, if you don't like the sweater you don't gotta be nice to me and lie. Tis okay

6. Dad is back with his video of a casual demon attack. A normal Thursday. You'd think violence could slow enough for Faithful to get some groceries but I guess not.

7. AN ADULT TALK? EXCUSE ME? also yes now shoo child.

8. Guess I'll just go in a bunker and braid some hair or some shit. Whatever.

9. Don't you love it when the father figure of your child is so obsessed with transformers that he turns into a robot? (Yes I know he didn't turn into a robot. It just sounded kind of robotic in my head and it was funny.

10. What's the song called? It was kind of a vibe.

11. Oh my God we're raising a menace, thief, AND a liar. Where did we go wrong? 😭 Also can Faithful read minds? She was able to hear Kerano's mind about a key or something before Kerano had it, and was able to read the thoughts after that.

12. Move aside, Faithful is coming through like a badass. Hold the child

13. Oh neat. Both Albus and I have yelling voices in our head. 🥲

14. "I AM THE GREATEST GOOD YOURE EVER GONNA GET" - Faithful 2023

15. IS HE CUTTING OFF HIS HAND?! KERANO LOOK AWAY

16. Are... Are you seriously gonna make me choose between my two husbands right now? WHERES MY POLY OPTION? (Albus and Devlin in strictly familial relationship with each other. No condoning incest here)

-Branch-

Albus Route:

- yeah u tell him Devlin! How dare he try to reject us after saying it was our choice. Bitch

- UH I UH UHM ER

- daddy? Sorry. Daddy? Sorry. Daddy? Sorry

- HOW MANY ROUNDS? Albus let her BREATHE before you fuck her to death omg

- I thought we became a bio mom to half demon children. But nah turns out we became a slutty saint

- YOOOO another thing in common with Albus! We both don't like kids. For different reasons but the point still remains

- Awww. He misses Devlin.

- Kerano is wholesome but I ain't forgiving her for snatching that key

- wait does anyone remember when he said he wouldnt tap faithful with a ten foot pole? Does that mean he tapped her with an eleven foot pole to stay true to his word?

- Devlin Route -

- that's what your brother said to me in an alternate reality when I chose him too.

- Albus back with the orgies. My angsty brain McThinks it's some copium since that's his whole "nothing hurts me!" Mask

- "HES A ROCKIN SPACE AGE BACHELOR MAN" I hope he gets his dream of being a monsterfucker

- Faithful got that holy rizz sheeeeeeesh

- astrology 🥰

- wait nevermind. Just some brotherly love

- you can call me darling any day of the week baby. I am living for it.

- Awww starry kiss. 🥹

Update: I keep forgetting there's a high chance that GBA will see this... BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?! I STAND BY WHAT I SAID (/lh) 😤😤😤

Update #2: for those asking about the third route thoughts, that's a secret that I'm saving for a fic.

#messy rambles #good boy audios #gba devlin #gba albus #gba faithful #gba kerano #gba kravitas #gba #gba bastard warrior

[timemachineyeah]

Hi, I really appreciate your points on Madoka! Thank you for providing that insight that is so desperately needed! Because I am so sick of dudebros acting like it's better than female-empowering Magical Girl works aimed at girls, or how whenever I or somebody else critiques the storytelling and message we just get told "Madoka is perfectly feminist actually and if you don't think so then you're just too stupid to understand how DEEEEEEEP it is go back to your stupid sweet and fluffy anime that's for GUUUUURLS" or alternatively "oh so female characters can't ever suffer ever and have to be happy all the time ever or it's misogynistic trash?!?!?!?! check and mate bitch" like I am just so tired. I'm glad to see your posts even though some of them are quite old. I have to say thank you once again for your genuine critique of Madoka because at this point I feel like I'm being punked whenever I talk about what's wrong with it.

Sorry! I saw this earlier and completely forgot to answer!

My few posts have given me a reputation as a Madoka hater (and, fair enough, because I certainly don't blame anyone who is. Please hate Madoka all you like). The truth is I really do like the original show quite a bit, but YEAH.

YEAH.

I think the thing that gets most exhausting for me, over and over, is bringing up these criticisms and being told, "No! Because Madoka fixed all that!" and even ignoring Rebellion (which I am inclined to do anyway), the girls still die.

They die.

The happy ending is a montage of girls dying. Which is a happy ending only because what they were getting before (specifically as a consequence of choosing to be a magical girl) was a fate worse than death.

And it's worth noting how the incubators are portrayed. They aren't portrayed as malicious. They aren't "evil" in that sense. What they are is practical and indifferent. They are taking advantage of inherent factors in the universe, not creating those factors.

Which means that there's something about PMMM that is saying, this is reality. At least in this fiction, this is the reality of femininity. And it is inherent to femininity! Kyubey even explains - it's weird! But only teen girls are like this! That's why we use them!

I think it's fair to be like, hey, that's fucked up. What kind of gender essentialist fatalism? Bro?

And it's also just denial to pretend it isn't about fanservice or a male audience.

As anyone who's been on my blog recently will know, I'm kinda super into Love Live! right now. It's cute. It scratches an itch.

And there's a lot of plausible deniability built into it, and a lot of pushback from English speaking fandom about it, but, uh, Love Live! is an idol game but it's also a waifu collector.

It's also a catalogue of nonthreateningly sexual anime teenage girls specifically designed to appeal first and foremost to lonely awkward Japanese young working men with disposable income.

And, idk, knowing that doesn't impede my ability to find it cute and wholesome and fun and escapist. The fact that it is that does lead to some of creative decisions that make the series less fun for me (it's not very diverse, for example. The yuri elements are subtext for another. And I either wish the girls were less sexualized or older, personally). But I'm not going to deny what it is.

I'm not even particularly interested in shaming the men its aimed at for liking it, or shaming the creators for making it that way per se (well, okay, sometimes I am interested in shaming the creators a lil bit). But I do think most the things about it that read as feminist to me as an American read that way because I am so far outside the original intended subculture. And I think the same is true about Madoka. You can absolutely read feminist messages in it. I certainly do. But placing these works in their original contexts tells a very different much more... regressive? picture. They were not made for women and girls. They are not made to uplift women and girls. They CAN! And they DO! Both in Japan and elsewhere! But that's anywhere from (at best) a secondary market to (at worst) a complete accident.

It's hard for some people to wrap their heads around because in America at least I think the idea of a "cute" (even if that's subverted in Madoka) media starring a large cast of only girls being for men is pretty alien to how we do stories and marketing. Here we understand playboy magazines and swimsuit editions, but we don't understand men collecting merch of a cute fictional girl they like. It would be seen as emasculating.

We understand the reverse. We get that boy bands and anime like Free! can be aimed squarely at women while being comprised entirely of men or male characters. Which is part of why I'm not shaming the male audiences, because... desiring anime tiddy isn't inherently predatory anymore than a lady desiring anime ass. And that's a crass way of putting it anyway. We don't frame hanging a boy band poster up that way, or playing a game like Mystic Messenger. It becomes more complicated because we live in a complicated patriarchal structure that protects and empowers men and women differently and unequally, but that seems like a poor reason to try to tell individual men they aren't allowed to enjoy things in a way that is obviously natural and parallels how... most humans like to enjoy some things sometimes.

But that also doesn't mean we can't look at those broad cultural patterns and... make observations. And have criticisms. And talk about how it affects people, and the back and forth between media and culture.

But, Madoka is for men first. The girls' suffering is a form of male gaze, and pretty unambiguously a kind of very very softcore torture porn for male gamer types. That's not a judgment against it, that's just its literal intended share of the market. It's a pretty easy read if you understand the context in which it was released and the culture it is coming from and catering to. My Little Pony is a little girls toy franchise. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sells toys to boys. Home & Gardens is for housewives. Top Gear is for car dads. These are true even if other people like them. When an adult fan of children's cartoons (I say, as an adult fan of children's cartoons) tries to say, "But it's not really a kids cartoon!" I feel about the same way I do when a feminist fan of some clearly male-centric media says, "But it's not really!"

And that's - own your shit. Own it. It's fine. It's fine to like it. It's fine to love it. It's fine if it means the world to you. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with you if you like a media that maybe isn't the most mature or progressive masterpiece out there. Just don't pretend there's no validity in obvious criticism. I love some real garbage made by real garbage people. I have survived.

Madoka exists in a fictional universe where the laws of that fictional universe are that 1) girls are uniquely emotional, 2) that emotion and their own aspirations can easily be harnessed against them in such a way that in the best possible universe all it does it kill them. In the normal universe it turns them into evil witches. That's just true. That's the world. I'm allowed to look at that, especially in conversation with magical girl media that came before, and go, "you know what? in that context, that's pretty fucked up" and it doesn't even mean that I stop liking the show, so I don't see why everyone else has to get so defensive about it.

(Y'all have no idea. Those posts are old now, but I got so many asks. I had to block so many people. I'm not trying to take your precious anime away calm down.)

Idk if I completely agree with the tone of my original posts - there's a little bit of offhanded vilifying of "men" as a shorthand for... all the bullshit... and I no longer love that language. I love men. Men are people. Some men can be shitty, but shitty individual men and patriarchy aren't the same. But I do still agree with all my broad points.

Plus, yes, also. The thing of a new (often male) fanbase getting into something you've been into for a long time with some new entry and acting like it both invented and fixed everything about the genre (PMMM and magical girls, Friendship is Magic and girl cartoons, Stardew Valley and farming sims) is frustrating, and to hear many an incurious nerd tell it, magical girls were floundering before Madoka! And I hate that.

Anyway, oops, I went on a little rant. That still makes it look like I don't like Madoka. I actually really do like the original series. I have rewatched it multiple times and probably will again. I even tried to play Magia Record (briefly - I couldn't really get into it). I can't speak to the many many spinoff media - but those have so many different writers and so much different lore that I think it'd probably be hard to try to pin any kind of single ethos to the franchise as a whole any more. But while I couldn't get into Magia Record I'd bet there's a short manga story or something that I'd love at this point. When you make like 200 magical girls or whatever that's bound to happen.

Thanks for the ask. Sorry Madoka fans are still so hyper defensive apparently. I hope you are able to survive them and find some better magical girl series out there. <3

#timemachine wuz here

[saltypiss]

The biden speech everyone's cheering was decent to okay. Didn't have much of a problem until he started discussing the genocide by israel to Palestine as a war and as if it was defense.

Truthfully I'd have walked away thinking it was an okay speech. But the second that hit? Total wash. Contradicting himself hard to justify the genocide.

Then it played a different speech and man, he really is tired. Like not trying to be a bitch "he's old and sleepy!" genuinely the dude just has no energy and looks genuinely exhausted. Definitely had drugs in his system for the speech before, but I don't care, I want an olympics based on how far drugs can push someone to jump anyways.

The only realistically solvable problem I have left with Biden anymore is aiding and partaking in a genocide and working with terrorists to do so. But my problem with dems continues to be their utter disdain to criticise this complete joke of a person.

Like god damn ya'll. Just say you're not voting trump at this point. It's embarrassing how republican democratic voters have become. Seriously the instant he's out every one of ya'll are turning on him. Just disgusting and overwhelmingly telling of your character how far you're willing to go to ignore reality to "protect" yourself at the expense of actual lives you deemed beneath you.

I look forward to a decade from now when I get to say "Told ya so" on so much shit when it comes to this administration.

Seriously republicans are at least "debating" who to vote for in the elections. Ya'll don't have a Single Motherfucker lined up for after Biden. Republicans got at least 6 faces of the same flavor to choose from. Biden ain't getting a third term either and the very idea that seems to be everyone's plan is pathetic.

"If you criticise biden it means you're voting for dump!" Like my man no, I'm just not voting for the genocider who did less than the bare minimum in the 4 years he's been in charge to inspire anything in me. "Oh so your plan is to withold your vote for Biden? That's just a vote for dump!" Oh so your plan is get Biden in and then.... And then what?

Does the genocide end? No. Is marijuana legalized? No. Is student loans cancelled? No. Is minimum wage going up? No. Are tax rates for the rich going up? Pfft, 25% yeah, better than what we had but what a damn inch forward. Is he going to lower prices? No. Which is something he mentioned surprisingly, but he's corporate as fuck and we all know the law that'll pass will be a nothingburger that gets removed next election by the innevitable desantis victory against Literally No One.

Go ahead and continue keeping the status quo and establishing that genocide is not enough to even make you blink towards utter devotion. I'm gonna vote third party and continue to do so until we have more than 2 genocidal parties that are completely incapable of criticising Dear Leader. Ya'll have fun with your faux politics where dems are setting up an R victory, I'm gonna Try Something Else and hopefully it's not all a completely rigged and broken system where it doesn't happen even when it should.

Remember: You cannot change an anti-genocider's stance. You can only change yourself. I'd vote biden if he rescinded support and shamefully hid that part of himself for the rest of his presidency, because at least then I know he can be held accountable. I know we didn't elect a different flavor of dictator.

Really have to understand that Dems will do the bare minimum when they feel they actually have to listen to the people. Dump absolutely showed that dems needed to step up their game, and while I appreciate not aiming for charisma, maybe they could've also tried anything worth a shit.

A whole hour n a half long speech and not a single thing he said helped me or anyone I know. Fascinating. Ya gotta love all the nebulous "we got taxes!" going on but here we stand feeling absolutely none of it. Tell me, when does the government gaining money benefit me? Because my roads are shit, my hospitals private, our prisons bloated with pot smokers turned drug experts, and every single fucking time I've tried for government assistance, they Always Deny Me.

So uh. Yeah when's the government gaining money going to positively affect my life? As it stands, it's literally just the stock market. Line goes up, I feel nothing, line goes down, my entire life turns to shit, but not for politicians or the rich.

How about a fucking UBI or god I dunno, make it possible to get government assistance in the first place? Maybe make unemployment catered to, you know, the employee? Hell, fight greedflation like he claims. Bro's on stage acting like he's never noticed shrinkflation, buddy, I was a Child when I first noticed a Chocolate Bar do this shit. Cmon. How much is a banana, old man? How much is the banana?

Regardless. I'm tired of faux good PR and multitudes of claims of accomplishments when not a single one of those affects my day to day. Yes. Good on being green n shit. But you can do more than the bare minimum of ensuring the planet doesn't die with us all on it. Yes that is the bare minimum, and I'm tired of pretending it's not.

All anyone had to do, was just criticise the guy. Not pull your vote, but simply, point out mistakes? Oopsies and gaffs? Perhaps even just have a giggle? It's painfully obvious this admin is shit but simply better than we were expecting from the US government in general thanks to Dump.

As it stand though, well, Biden ain't losing, and he's gonna find out pretty fucking quickly that if a Genocide isn't going to get Dems to be self-aware, god damn near nothing will. And the next dem president after that, and after that, and after that. Literally, just be anti-genocide? It's kind've the most rock-solid, future-proofing you can do for your character, and of course other people, of course. But that's kinda a backseat item for dems anymore. I mean, hey, Biden simply had to send bombs and guns to aid a genocide, maybe it's okay if he does it to some other group of people I only just heard about but Instantly Violently Hate. After all, a genocide is good for Biden!

Again. Just to reiterate a final time: I would've stayed Dem if ya'll could give or take even the slightest criticism of this fuck. I cannot stress enough that it's not a guerilla program to make biden look bad. He just does it himself. But I understand the game. Shit like this can happen with such a compromised country, but jesus christ, the voters? The voters are even pro-genocide? Like, vehemently, pro-genocide, Very Overwhelmingly Pro-Genocide. Like...ya'll, nah. I'm out. No party should overwhelmingly support a genocide.

That's why I'm anti-republican. That's why I was a Dem. Because republicans want a genocide of black people, gay people, other countries.

And here we stand. Biden and his entire admin are pro-genocide. This isn't a hard concept to understand. You either compromise and criticise, or you lose your most rational. Because, and again, this cannot be stressed enough: You Cannot Change an Anti-Genocider's Stance. This is on Ya'll. Not the people who don't want thousands and millions dead.

If ya'll are overwhelmingly, and Vehemently against a compromise, a compromise consisting of "Genocide Bad" then the party is compromised and not worth working with.

Change has to come from ya'll because it will not from republicans. But the fact remains that a Shitload of you are fully invested in justifying a genocide for some old fuck with nothing to show for 4 years and desperately doesn't want to show anything before those 4 years.

Just so we're clear a final time:

Genocide is Bad.

If someone is telling you otherwise, that's telling of their character, and you should trust that tell to inform you of the character. Not justify it. Not defend it. Because when you do, you push away rationality and accountability. When you trust the mask more than the person, the person will always be there, while the mask will not.

Are you willing to defend a genocide for 5 years maximum? Are you willing to justify the actions of someone who's aiding in a genocide until it's no longer convenient? How many corpses need to pile before the end of the genocider's term to hasten your innevtiable switch of opinion?

Because here's the facts: Most of ya'll couldn't care less about the genocide. But by golly, if 4 years of faux safety is enough to justify one. Until it's no longer social convenient. Then, and only then, will you recognize your entire online personality, even real life personality, resulted in the death of multiple generarions of people. Only then will you recognize, you were on the wrong side of history.

Because as easily as you forgave Biden for aiding a genocide, rational people just as easily can drop you out of their life. Good luck getting rid of that digital footprint, the world, and history, will only remember your face for one thing: Aiding a Genocide. Because it was socially convenient at the time. Congrats.

#democrats #biden

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

CHOOSE

Alexander “Tig” Trager x Reader

Word Count: 2k

Thanks to my lovely beta reader @chibsytelford 💘

Author comments: First part of Choose. I hope you all enjoy. Gif isn't mine, credits to the author.

Tag list: @starrynite7114 ​ @chibsytelford ​ @dazzledamazon ​ @mara-mpou ​ @sammskellington ​ @gemini0410 ​ @1-800-imagines ​ @briana-mishell24 ​@sassymox @whyisgmora @aquamento @sadeyesgf @viviansafizada @samcrobae @jade770 @witchy-wish @rebel-without-cause-x ✨ (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

“So, what about (Y/N) and you?” Bobby asks sipping from his beer.

“What about what?”

“Ar'ya alrede' ‘official’”? Chibs adds while Jax, Juice and Happy leans above the table with a naughty smile drawn on their lips, palming the picnic table and making some noise.

“She's just a groupie, man”.

You can't hear Tig chuckling, because of the sound your heart does by breaking itself is louder.

“A groupie?” Jax's voice sounds confused, raising a blonde eyebrow as the palms stops.

“Yeah, you know. She's not one of those bitches that come here to eat us. But she's not my girl either. We just have fun”.

“You just have fun?” Juice asks incredulous, shaking his head just for a moment.

“Yeah, man! I must say I have eaten a lot of pussies, but, shit! Hers is a fucking delight. And she doesn' have any contagious disease, that's an important plus too”.

“If she was my mom, I would pull out your eyes”. The scratchy voice of Happy appears from nowhere, somewhat disappointed. “And I would eat them”.

“What the fuck?”

“Brother, that girl really lose her shit for you”. Bobby says, because it's something pretty obvious. “And you can say whatever you wan', but you're strained to the bone for that sassy girl”.

Tig's laughs flood the main yard, before drinking his beer.

“Man, you call her when we're ridin'. And her house it's the first stop when you come back”. Juice assures placing his forearms over the table.

“Yea', and you also have clothes in her house, and she in yours”. Jax hit the wood with his knuckles, watching the look on his face trying to hide how right they are.

“Oh! And remember that time (Y/N) told us that Tig brought breakfast at bed”. Ratboy palms Happy chest breaking into laughter, joying the talk, sitting by his side.

“We didn't even know you cook, brother”.

“C'mon, shut up!”

“And tha time ya brought ha' flowers”. Chibs points at Tig with pursed lips joking on him.

“Yeah, that was pretty romantic”. Jax continues with the jokes, making him feel angrier.

“I said she's just a fuckin' groupie. We fuck when I want. That's all”. Trager finishes the conversation, upset of their brothers teasing him about you.

Sitting on the sofa under the closest open window to them, you rest an empty beer on your lap. With your eyes on it and an incessant pain growing in your chest, lash after lash, you don't even know who the fuck are you. Then, the last year has been a lie. All those times he said he loved you, they were a lie. All those times he said he missed you, they were a lie. All those times he said you he didn't want a life without you, they were a lie. Like many others. Yes, he never asked you to be his girlfriend, but you didn't know he had to do it to make it ‘official’. You thought it was implicit in the fact that you really look like a couple. Not like Tara and Jax, but somewhat like. And it's confusing look back and seeing all the shit he did for you and all the shit you did for him, only to hear that your a clean pussy to put his cock in whenever he needs it. No feelings. No compromise. No nothing. Just sex.

You take off the black high-heels, holding them by the strips, leaving away the beer. Getting up and putting on well the dress you bought for him, feeling stupid on one of these garments, you walk barefoot towards the exit door at the end of the hallway' dorms. Your car is parked there. Safe from the Sons' of other subsidiaries and their non expected fights just for fun. The only thing you want to do is drive your way back home and hide in your bed of the shame you're feeling, after listening him talking like that about you with his friends.

“Brother, listen”. Jax sits on the nearest stool at the bar. “I lost Tara for fourteen years, don' commit my mistake”.

Tig has another shot, ripping his throat as he cleans his mouth with the back of the left hand.

“I was fuckin' scared of seeing that I was in love with her. We do all this shit that has our families in a continuous danger, but I don' regret about what I feel for my wife”. He defends the point of view he's trying to make him understand. “She's a good girl and you look focused since you met. Think about it”.

The other man doesn't say anything with the blue eyes placed on some bottles in front of him.

“You ok?” Tara's voice pushes you to reality.

You shake your head somewhat confused, raising your gaze towards her.

“I've been standing there for the last five minutes, without you noticing it”. She chuckles, closing the door behind her back to have a sit at the desk, having a quick look of the medical records on it. “Too much work?”

“I wish… It's been a quiet day and I need to distract myself”.

“It's everything okay? Didn' Tig like the dress?”

By the look on your face, putting away your eyes, Tara knows something isn't going well. You leave a heavy sigh, closing your eyes just to contain a wild tear.

“I'm just a… pussy for him”.

“What the hell…? Don't tell that, (Y/N). Maybe he's not the most romantic man on earth, but he loves you”.

“Yes, that what I thought”. Laughing somewhat bittersweet, you put your arms above the table. “Last night I heard him talking with the guys. Telling them I'm just a groupie to fuck when he needs it”.

The woman snorts resting her back on the chair, rubbing her eyes with both hands.

“The only difference between those... bitches he used to fuck and me, it's that I don't have HIV”.

“Maybe he was dru—”.

“I never heard Jax talk about you, as Tig talked about me, when he's drunk”. You reiterate shrugging your shoulders. “He just… told me all that bullshit about love and a family and a future to suck his cock. And I was so fuckin' stupid that I believed him…”

“I'm sorry, sweetheart”.

“Yeah, I'm too”. You answer getting up and taking off the medical gown to hang it on the coat rack. “I'm done with my meetings. Could you tell Marcia I wasn't feeling okay and I went home?”

“Yes, sure. Don't worry about it”.

All his stuff is already on a plastic bag. His clothes, his motorbike' things for when he travels… Everything. It was painful collect them all, with his smell flooding your room while you were keeping them. Placing it over the table in the kitchen, you sit there just waiting for him to come. You didn't call him, but even if he lied to you, you know something about him. So, when he didn't find you last night, he probably went first to the hospital by morning. And proving that you're right, the roar of his engine comes closer as he reaches your house. Crossing the back door in front of you, he takes off the helmet putting inside it the leather gloves and the sunglasses.

“Your boss told me you weren' feeling ok, what's up?” He asks truly worried, or at least seems like. Leaning forward he tries to kiss you, but you pull away your face without any words.

Now he's confused as fuck, getting up finding the bag on the table. Opening it with his forefinger to have a quick look twisting the neck just for a second, the blue eyes go straight you.

“What's that?”

“Your things. I want you to leave”.

“The fuck is wrong with you?” He demands making some gesture with both hands, as you get up of the chair.

“I'm not the one who lied every time I said ‘I love you’!” You push him away when he tries to take a step next to you, with all the pain concentrated on it.

“The fuck does it means? I didn' fuckin' lie to you”.

“Yeah, that's what you tell me in the meantime you tell your friends I'm just a clean pussy!”

“Who told you about that…?” He snorts cross-armed, supporting his waist against the counter.

“Nobody! I fuckin' hear you, Trager!” You scream totally mad, throwing him the plastic bag. “I just… fuckin' thought that someday you really would want to have a family... Shit, I'm so fucking stupid I feel so sorry for myself…”

“Sunshine, list—”.

“Go fuck yourself!” You push him away again, as he tries to grab your wrists, stirring under his grip. “You're a fucking dickhead!”

“Calm fuckin' down and listen!” He shouts at you for first time since you know him. Your heart stop, as your body does. Not because you're afraid, but because it's enough for you.

“I don' wanna see you anymore… Leave me alone”. You almost beg to him, shutting up some sobs stuck in your throat and your gaze away from the man.

He just nods in silence knowing that you are not going to come to your senses right now. So he grabs his things with anger, before throwing your house's keys on the table. Only when he disappear from the kitchen is when you break in tears. You had too much contained in your heart and you can't help but cry louder than never. Sometimes you have had fantasies about living together, having some free days and getting lost on the road, with nobody close to bother you. Sometimes you also have had fantasize of a kid running through your house calling him “daddy”. But it was just that. A year full of lies and a bunch of fantasies.

“What's that?” Bobby asks behinds the bar lifting up an eyebrow.

Tig throws the bag to the nearest wall, furious with himself and the way he has fucked up. His heart is beating fast, having a sit on a stool and grabbing a bottle of whisky to drink from it. There's no music in the clubhouse, just silence, so his guilty becomes louder of what he said. All those words dancing around him once and again.

“Clothes?” Juice asks taking the bag to open it confused.

“(Y/N) heard me last night”. He answers with his eyes getting reddened, trying to hold in the tears.

“I would have rip off your chest with a knife wetted on vinegar and salt”. Happy says without losing sight of the tip of the pool stick. After hit the white one, he raises his eyes towards him. “Later I would have pissed on you. Be thankful she kept your things in a bag”.

Jax looks at the ex-nomad not knowing why he's surprised about his threats. Walking close to Tig, with both hands inside the pockets, he supports a forearm against the bar.

“Now, what?” The president asks, lifting his chin in a simple gesture.

“Now nothing. I already lost her for being a fuckin' asshole. That's all”.

“Yeah, brotha, ya said fuckin' mean thengs bout ha'”. Chibs palms his back a little bit harder, making him spit the whisky in his mouth.

“Even if we were jokin'... Fuck man…” Jax shakes his head sighing, having a quick look of the Sons' faces. “Wan'me to talk with her?”

“No. I will… try to fix it”. He coughs by clearing his throat after the hit, having another sip.

“One year enduring your bullshit…” Bobby clicks his tongue, leaning above the bar. “I thinks it's fuckin' obvious what you should do, Tiggy”.

“Yes”. Juice, Chibs and Jax said in unison.

“That's the only way to fix it. And if you don' think so, then leave her alone”. In moments like that, Tig sees how much Jax looks like his father, with all those advices and wise words. “She's not a warm pussy, she's a woman who didn' care you're mentally fucked and who didn' care about what you do with the club”.

“I know…”

“Then, choose”. Palming the wooden bar, Jax finishes the conversation as if it was a table-business to Samcro.

#sons of anarchy x reader #sons of anarchy imagine #sons of anarchy #tig trager x reader #tig trager imagine #alexander tig trager #tig trager