#we’re gonna go all the way back to 1590 to ask the man himself

[sploon-fic-fan]

can we make jack to the future a copypasta

Hey guys! Very excited about today’s video. A huge thanks to Lenovo for giving me their amazing brand-new phone, the Phab 2 Pro: The world’s first phone with Tango*. Which kinda feels like a piece from the future just dropped right here in the present. And that’s exactly why I decided to make a very special time-travel episode of jackask.

Question 1: “Do you believe in the possibility of time-travel?” I literally just said that this is the time-travel episode of jackask. Please try to keep up. punches ground beef

Question 2: “If you could go back in time, what’s one thing you’d change about your childhood?” Well, I would probably confront my middle school bully and tell him I grew up to be a big YouTube star. Of course, then he’d be all like, “what’s a YouTube?” You know what, that question sucks, next question.

Question 3: “Would you travel to the past of the future?” Listen up, HoOLiGanLLaMA, I’m about to blow your mind. takes bite of burger Mm, that’s good meat. So I’m taking my Phab 2 Pro with me to travel through space and time in my own personalized, home-built time machine. Purple, red… Oh yeah, green one, that’s good, I think that’s good… Lemme measure with my phone real quick. Okay, measuring the dimensions with Tango’s AR measurement tools to make sure everything lines up. Looks good. OPEN! throws chair against tree Let’s go! Just so you know, time travel is not instant. So while we’re waiting, how about I just answer some of your questions?

“How do I tell my parents that I’m goth?” What you can do is travel to the future where, uh, you outgrow your goth phase. Boom, problem solved.

“How many stars are in our galaxy?” Good question. To find out, we’re gonna go all the way back to 1590 to ask the man himself, Galileo. screams Galileo: If only we could see the heavens instead of relying on our mind’s eye. Jack: Whoa, shut up for a sec. I think I can help you guys out. Galileo’s Associate: ¡El diablo! J: No, it’s actually called ‘augmented reality,’ it lets me see a fully scaled model of the solar system. The sun, the Big Dipper, the Little Skipper, the Unicorn, the Unicran, some other ones… Oh, really quick, do you guys know how many stars are in our galaxy? You know what, I’ll just look it up. Thanks anyway, bye! G: He was a bit of a jerk, wasn’t he?

“What is your favorite video game?” Not really a fan of the new ones, I don’t really have the fingers for ‘em, so let’s go all the way back to 1972 to play the first video game.

J: Hey guys! What are we working on?

Guy with Glasses and Mustache: Well, I don’t mean to brag, but we’ve created something revolutionary. You see, this rectangular paddle hits this round circular ball, and then that ball travels across this empty black space where it meets up with… another paddle! Haha!

J: That’s really tight, guys, and you’ll be happy to hear that you helped pave the way for AR games. Check this out

Woman with Glasses: What is it?

J: It’s the future. So, you’re trying to hit this target.

WG: Where are the cords?

J: No cords. Here, look.

WG: Honey, we should get one of these!

“What do you think it will be like in the year 2150?” Ugh, finally! A good question! Let’s go to the future where people can finally wrap their minds around this crazy technology! It’s time to go Jack to the future! record scratch Get it? Uh, Jack to the future, it’s-it’s a pun on a famous movie, uh, where Simba loses his dad, um, wait… yeah, that’s right, yeah.

J: Oh my gosh, you must be my great great grandson!

Jacksfilms Look-Alike with White Hair: Get out of my home.

J: Let’s grab a picture of the handsome boy, huh?

JLAWH:

No. J: Just gotta add a dragon, and boom! It’s pretty cool, right, little dragon popping up and everything. You body language says ‘yes’.

JLAWH: No.

J: Not a little?

JLAWH: Nuh-uh.

J: Not even a little?

JLAWH: …No.

J: Yeah, no, I-I’m busy too, I gotta get back to my time machine. It was really cool catching up, hehe! Call me! Or, you kn- aw, it doesn’t work like that. Uh, call me anyway, man.

All in all, that was a pretty good trip. Oh, and Lenovo, thanks for the free phone, not giving it back, hehe. runs into lighting equipment Not paying for that! Not paying for that! Not my problem!

#Hey guys! Very excited about today’s video. A huge thanks to Lenovo for giving me their amazing brand-new phone #the Phab 2 Pro: The world’s first phone with Tango*. Which kinda feels like a piece from the future just dropped right here in the present. #what’s one thing you’d change about your childhood?” Well #I would probably confront my middle school bully and tell him I grew up to be a big YouTube star. Of course #then he’d be all like #“what’s a YouTube?” You know what #that question sucks #next question. Question 3: “Would you travel to the past of the future?” Listen up #HoOLiGanLLaMA #I’m about to blow your mind. takes bite of burger Mm #that’s good meat. So I’m taking my Phab 2 Pro with me to travel through space and time in my own personalized #home-built time machine. Purple #red… Oh yeah #green one #that’s good #I think that’s good… Lemme measure with my phone real quick. Okay #measuring the dimensions with Tango’s AR measurement tools to make sure everything lines up. Looks good. OPEN! throws chair against tree Le #time travel is not instant. So while we’re waiting #how about I just answer some of your questions? “How do I tell my parents that I’m goth?” What you can do is travel to the future where #uh #you outgrow your goth phase. Boom #problem solved. “How many stars are in our galaxy?” Good question. To find out #we’re gonna go all the way back to 1590 to ask the man himself #Galileo. screams Galileo: If only we could see the heavens instead of relying on our mind’s eye. Jack: Whoa #shut up for a sec. I think I can help you guys out. Galileo’s Associate: ¡El diablo! J: No #it’s actually called ‘augmented reality #’ it lets me see a fully scaled model of the solar system. The sun #the Big Dipper #the Little Skipper #the Unicorn

[jaeminlore]

hope » taeyong

prompt: taeyong feels he's failed his crew and you assure him he hasn't words: 1590 category: angst, fluff, pirate!au a/n: um this is not what i had in plan for pirate!taeyong,,, I originally wanted it to be fluffy and cute but you know me..... the actual angst monster jsjsjsj anyway i might make a part two if people want it.

- "Momma? What's happening?" Taeyong whispered, his small hands clinging to his mother's skirts. She looked down and ran a hand through his hair comfortingly, "It'll be okay, Taeyong. I promise you you'll be okay." "What about you?" he whispered, feeling horribly small and useless when a few pirates grabbed him and his mother, binding their wrists with iron shackles. He began crying, the cold, heavy feeling too unfamiliar for his tiny wrists. When his mother didn't answer him, he asked another question, "Where's Father?"

His mother began crying now, shaking her head. "It's okay, Taeyong," she kept repeating. "It'll be okay." There were letters painted on a large wooden sign, and bells ringing as the pirates tried to draw attention to themselves. Taeyong wasn't sure what was going on, but his mother had taught him to read at an early age so he sounded out the letters as best he could. "Momma, what's a slave trade?"

Taeyong couldn't understand why his mother started crying harder, nor why she pulled him close. "You're gonna live with someone else for awhile, okay?" Taeyong felt the urgent squeeze of his mother's hand, and saw the strained smile on her face. "Where will you go?" "Away," she answered. She kissed her son on the head and whispered, "I'll return some day to get you." - Taeyong shook his head, feeling the memory burn in the back of his mind, but never truly leave. His past was like a wave of torture, and something he would never forget. How can you forget something like your own father selling you and your mother into slavery? Taeyong used to think his father was amazing. When he was a child, he loved to see all the strange trinkets his father brought home. He used to loved to hear the stories his father told over the dinner table. Stories of ships and the ocean. How the sun would always greet him in the morning and the stars would bid him goodnight. He used to tell Taeyong about the wonderful clothes of other nations, and how the men and women would dance outside under the glow of the lantern light. On the other hand, he thought his father could be horrible. Especially on nights when he thought Taeyong was asleep, and would begin yelling. Or other nights when he used to come home completely drunk, singing loudly about the women he saw on the way home. How Taeyong wished he could've been ignorant to it all. Taeyong never thought his father would've sold his own flesh and blood just to get money. Taeyong never thought he would be bought up by a merchant and made to be a working boy, learning the harsh culture of bargaining and lying just to make a few extra coins. Coins he never saw again, as his owner was a greedy man who never shared, despite Taeyong doing all the work. When he was twenty years old, Taeyong stole a brig from his master and sailed as far away as he could, eventually finding himself near India. He had one goal, and that was to find his mother and return her to freedom. She had been sold as well, although he didn't know to whom or where, since he had been sold first. He needed a crew, that was sure. Taeyong had searched the streets of India, wondering if he could find any sailors near the docks. Instead, he found a memory too fresh. He found another slave market. In a desperate dash, Taeyong ransacked his stolen ship, hoping that his old master owner had left some gold behind. Anything that would help him free some of the children. Anything that would save some of them from the same sad life he had been thrown into. He found an entire chest filled with gold, buried deep beneath old fishing nets and behind barrels, out of plain sight. Taeyong hoped he wouldn't be too late. When he arrived back at the slave market, there were only a few people left. He counted how many and calculated the prices that hung from around their necks. There were twelve boys and one girl, all varying in age. Some even looked older than him. Taeyong shoved the chest of gold towards the slave trader. "I'll take them all."

He must've looked frightening, dressed in a black cloak, his eyes piercing through the stares of the traders. They took their time counting the gold, not wanting to be cheated by even one doubloon. After what seemed like hours, they announced that Taeyong could take them all. So he did. And so his crew was born: one captain and thirteen crew members, all taken from their homes and forced to find a new way of living. - It had been a little over two years, and he had been trying to help each member of his crew find their family again. Unfortunately, no matter how many leads they had, they never found anyone's relatives. Taeyong took it upon himself to be the crew's family. He would be their mother, when they needed comfort. He would be their father when they needed chastisement. He would be their brother when they wanted advice. He would be their friend when they felt they had no one. There were often wars, and random battles that would ensue out on the seas. As much as Taeyong did not wish to become a pirate as his father had, there wasn't a way to avoid it. He had to protect his crew, his new family. He couldn't imagine what it would be like if they were left to fend for themselves. He didn't want to imagine it. Although this top priority was getting everyone back to the safety of their families, finding people who could be literally anywhere in the world was not an easy task. It wasn't like slave traders stayed in one place for very long. Because of the reality of this, Taeyong had given up on finding his family. He longed to see his mother again, but he knew it was nearly impossible. For all he knew, she already could be dead. Still, the crew wanted to find their families. Especially the younger ones, who Taeyong refused to give up on. Even if there was no hope for him, he wanted to make sure that every one in his crew was reunited with their families in one way or the other. It was a far off dream, one that he couldn't touch, despite how desperately he wanted to. No matter how many times his mind told him to just give up, he couldn't, because he couldn't let his crew down. He couldn't help but let these thoughts weigh on his mind as he sat in the captain's quarters. The rest of the crew had decided to play an impromptu game of kickball on the deck. Taeyong had only gotten out of it after claiming he was sick. In reality, he felt horrible watching his crew, knowing he might never return them back to their families as he had promised. The harsh sound of knuckles against wood shocked him out of his thoughts. From his place, back pressed against the headboard and knees to his chest, he called out, "Come in." You entered, and Taeyong's face turned up in a gentle smile. Perhaps it was because you were the only girl on the ship, but you always seemed to know when Taeyong was lying. You always seemed to know what was on his mind. "Hey, Taeyong." Without waiting for his reply, you crawled into the bed with him, now mimicking his pose to stay comfortable. After a moment of silence, you turned to look at your captain, "We know." "Know what?" Taeyong watched your expression, licking his dry lips out of nervousness. "We know that we'll probably never find our families again. You don't have to keep worrying about it." Taeyong opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again, lost for words. Instead, he merely leaned down and rested his head against your shoulder, finding comfort in the scent of your skin. "I don't want to lie to you guys. I don't want you all to lose hope."

Your hands found his hair, and Taeyong hummed in appreciation as you began to run your fingers through his tangled locks. "Truthfully, Taeyong, we've known for awhile now. We didn't want to tell you because we thought you believed you'd truly find them. We didn't want to dim your hope. Lately, though, I've realized that it must've been a burden to you, and all that hope was simply made up to appease us." "I never wanted it to be this way," Taeyong confessed. "I truly thought I could find everyone's families." "We all thought you would. I suppose everyone was a bit vulnerable back then. But don't you see it now, Taeyong? Don't you see how the crew is a family? We've all adapted to this life with each other. We're family now. We've become family after everything." "Is that how you guys think?" Taeyong asked. His hand found yours, and he intertwined your fingers with his before bringing them to his lips. "We're a family?" "Of course," you replied, "In fact, if you think about it this way, you did help us find our family. This entire crew is the best family I could ask for." Taeyong never really knew how you managed to always say the right things. He loved you for that. "Thanks Y/n." »the end«

#nct scenarios #nct scenario #nct imagines #nct imagine #nct au #nct fluff #nct angst #nct pirate au #taeyong scenario #taeyong scenarios #taeyong imagine #taeyong imagines #taeyong au #taeyong pirate au #taeyong fluff #taeyong angst #destwrites

[impalaanddemons]

Gravity - Part 5

Summary: Reader’s a young security officer (Lieutanent Junior Grade) who happened to be on an away mission and fall hard for a certain Chief Engineer. Both of them aren’t the most outgoing regarding their feelings and tend to just watch each other from a distance, which is going to change.

Wordcount: 1590

A/N: Some of you guessed what would happen - well, you guessed wrong :P I really hope you like this one!

This fiction is set in AOS

Warnings: some blood, injury, nothing too explicit

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

„MEDICAL TEAM REQUIRED AT SHUTTLE BAY 2.“, Lieutenant Tahak signaled to the Enterprise. You would’ve hailed the Medical Team yourself, but you were too busy pressing down on Cassandras leg. „Stay with me, Cas, just stay with me.“, you said to her as calm as possible, remaining a professional facade. Just as you had learned in academy. What was it with those freak away missions in the last few weeks anyway? „How are you feeling, Cas?“, Ensign Bancroft did his best to tie off her leg. Carmichael was applying first aid to Ensign Mihan from Engineering. „G…Good.“, the voice of your friend was weak, but steady. You gave her a sympathetic pat on the arm. „Stay with me for just a bit longer, then, you don’t want to miss me embarrassing myself on shore leave, don’t you?“ you tried to sound reassuring and turned your head to the helmsmen: „How long ‘til we reach the Enterprise?“ - „Just one more minute, Sir.“ Cassandra managed something of a giggle and a grin.

„S..So.. you’re goin’ to ask him out, will ya?“ she muttered. You could see her consciousness slipping away. „If that’s what makes you stay with me right now“, you smiled down to her. Her breath was coming in small, short gasps now. „TOUCH DOWN IN 30 SECONDS, MEDICAL TEAM STANDING BY.“, your helmsman shouted. „There, we’re basically there“. „TOUCH DOWN IN 10 … 9 … 8 … 7 …“ Your head started to feel dizzy for a moment. A soft shock went through the shuttle as you touched down. The ramp was pulled down and the medical team flooded in. „We got two people injured“, you said but of course they were already informed. A relieved sigh left your lips, as you staggered down the ramp: Cassandra and Ensign Mihan were transported off hastily, hypos were used faster then you could look. They were in good hands now. Space: 0 - Enterprise Crew: 1 Once again. You managed an exhausted smile.

The shuttle bay seemed brighter then you remembered, but you tried to not be bothered by it. Your head started too feel light and your eyes seemed to lose focus. „Ah, shock.“, you said to yourself. „Better get to my room then.“ - you felt how the adrenaline pushed logical thought away and how wobbly your legs were. You knew the symptoms, of course. It happened to anyone. Someone called your name, but you didn’t care - focused on your room and on maintaining balance. That voice was far away. Maybe you should sit down for a moment. A giggle slipped from deep in your throat, making it sound alien. Now you were sure it was a shock. A couple of hours in bed, a cup of tea and writing your report would do. You had done this before. „Lieutenant Y/L/N“, the voice was sounding positively angry. „Stop. Right now.“, it was a dark voice. You turned around and saw the great doctor himself. He caught up to you in two long strides. God that men was gorgeous. Not your type but he was like an angry god descending upon you. An angry god, carrying a medical tricorder, which was promptly planted in your face. „You’re vitals are way off, kid, are you injured?“ - „What? No, Sir.“ you stifled a giggle. „Explosion in one of the engineering thingies“, you said and blinked slowly. That should probably not be the wording of your report later on, but at the moment it seemed as accurate as necessary „Right, engineering thingies.“, he muttered and continued his scan. „How’s Cas?“ - „I’ll tell you in a few hours. You’re in shock. I’ll give you a tranquilizer, you’ll stay in medbay for the day.“ he already waved over a stretcher, but you tried to decline: „No, seriously, Sir. I’ll just go shower, go to bed“, you stifled a giggle and straightened up, „and write my report after sleeping it all off.“ He was now growling: „Why does Security always have to argue with me? I am your doctor. You’re in shock. Medbay.“ - „Sir, please. It’s really nothing. We’re trained for this“ giggling again you probably did not make the best argument for your case, but adrenaline was a curious thing. „Good Lord, woman!“ he pushed you onto the next stretcher, nodding to the nurse and  put a tranquilizer shot into your shoulder. „Off to medbay with her“, he scoffed, and that was the last of it.

Two away missions and out cold on both of them. The rest of your crew mates in Security would never have an end of it. You would have to spent a few drinks on shore leave, just to prompt them to forget that. Although, you thought, you weren’t out cold exactly and in this particular case it was foul play on behalf of the CMO. „I’m fine“, you mumbled as you were transferred to a biobed. „Is she STILL protesting?“, the angry gods voice crossed through the room, but steps quickly left and you sighed. Your eyelids were heavy, but you wouldn’t give up that soon. „Doctor gave you a mild sedative to ease the shock“, a blonde nurse next to you said. „I would really“, you tried to get up and grumbled as your plan did not work out. „ .. really like to just go to my room“. Mild. Yeah. Of course. Another voice pierced the buzz of medbay: „Hows Ensign Mihan doin’?“ - „They’re all fine. As in: Not dead or dying.“ the answer was a slow growl that was really too busy to deal with anyone right now, but it was the first voice that oozed through a thick layer of medicine to your half-awake brain. Oh shit. It was Montgomery Scott.

Feet shuffled around and that voice was talking to someone. The blonde nurse - Chapel - was gone. He hadn’t seen you yet. Maybe you could just get up and sneak to your room? There was nothing more sobering in the universe then deep felt embarrassment. You test-wriggled your toes and got a positive response. Your arms moved too. Balance wasn’t fully there yet. You slowly moved your feet over the bed and to the ground. Just in case your eyes followed your feet to verify correct position. What had that Doctor given you? You had a slight shock, nothing more. Medics always had to blow everything out of proportion. It was this fundamental schism that made life with Medics so … interesting. „‚‘Tis nothing but a small laceration“, said the redshirt with the missing leg, and continued working - you giggled at the thought. „Y/N!“, exclaimed that voice, thick with accent, concerned. Ah Shit. „Are ya alright? Ya not gonnae stand up, are ya?!“ „Would be interesting to see her try“, Doctor McCoy raised an eyebrow at this. You pulled your lower lip between your teeth and mumbled something to yourself best not heard by anyone but the gods that may or may not be watching you. „What the hell happened to you?“ his voice got husky with worry, at which you felt flattered. Only then did your eyes notice the blood on your clothes, splattering that uniform of yours. „Oh“, you said. „Ya alright?“, he repeated and strode over to you. You blushed. His hair had that light red shine in the light, his face stern, furrowed with what looked like honest concern on the edge to becoming alarmed. „It’s not my blood“, you answered as if that explained everything, whispering and blushing and turning your head away. This day could not possibly get any worse. „Ya look like shit, lass.“ - his warm hand touched your shoulder without much hesitation. „And like ya could use a drink.“ the color of your face now matched that of your shirt, as you turned to look at him again. It was now in the range of possibility to not understand anything he said - blood rushed through your ears too loudly. „I just want to go to my room, have a good couple of hours of sleep and I’ll be fit as a fresh day.“ How could you not feel flattered by his concerned face? How his eyes were tracing you, as if there was no medical tricorder in the galaxy he’d trust until he’d made sure for himself? „Doctor McCoy here won’t let me“, you added. The engineers hand still rested on your shoulder, his thumb now drawing small absent-minded circles on your back as he turned to speak to the Doctor. You didn’t really listen to what he said at this point. The intimate gesture send goose bumps down your arms. „She can go in the evening, when I’m sure she’s got no internal injuries. And I’ve got no more time to discuss with bull headed people who think they’ve got several years of medical study covered, because they „feel like it“, and with that, Bones turned around, scoffing at a nearby nurse and made it ever so clear that this discussion was over. The smile on Scottys face as he turned back to you was more of a half grin - clearly satisfied with himself. It was the warm, slightly impish expression of someone confident that if he could handle a Warp Core at Warp 9, he could take on a few other challenges in his life. It was also the expression of a man with a plan, which only slightly intimidated you. „Ya heard the doctor, lass.“ his hand lifted from your shoulder. You already started to miss the warmth.

„So…“, he began and there was a glint of laughter in his eyes, „Shall I escort you to your … room this evening?“

READ ON

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#scotty x reader #montgomery scott #star trek fanfiction #fanfiction #scotty