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unicorn-poop · 5 years

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Troll Rose and the Rule 63 Trolls (School)

(Anyone know the source? I found this on the internet. Anyways here’s what the 12 beauties look like (Only because I like this one the best).

THE CONDESCE: YOU ALL AR--E GOING TO GO TO SCHOOL W)(--ETH--ER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!

KARKAT: BUT MOM I DON’T WANT TO GO TO A PLACE FILLED WITH ANNOYING UGLY ASS HUMANS! EW!

SOLLUX: yeah ii don’t thiink thiis school would be a very good iidea...

THE CONDESCE: W)(AL--E YOU ALL N--E--ED FRO--ENDS!

ARADIA: i have friends! i am friends with the spirits of the dead

THE CONDESCE: Friends that are not dead...

ARADIA: awwww....

THE CONDESCE: Anyways you all will actually end up sucessful and not losers w)(o will still live wit)( mommy....Now bye!

(Kicks the trolls out)

KARKAT: FUUUUUUUUUCK!

(The trolls end up walking. They past a McDonalds on their way to school)

TAVROS: uHH KARKAT CAN WE GET SOMETHING FROM MCDONALDS, i AM STARVING

KARKAT: I DON’T FUCKING NO! WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME? ASK ARADIA! HE IS THE LEADER HERE! HIS SIGN IS AT THE BEGINING OF THE ZODIAC FOR FUCKS SAKE!

TAVROS: aRADIA...

ARADIA: no. that place is just the saddest place on earth. burger queen is much better tavros

VRISKA: No it ain’t! They suck ass!

TEREZI: YOU 4R3 ONLY S4Y1NG TH4T B3C4US3 TH4T WHOPP3R G4V3 YOU TH3 SH1TS!

FEFERI: HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

VRISKA: Shut up terezi! Not funny fish 8oy!

(The trolls make it to school)

NEPETA: :33 oh cool! there’s animals?!

KARKAT: THOSE ARE FREAKS! I THINK THEY’RE CALLED FURRIES! WHO KNEW THIS SCHOOL WOULD HAVE FUCKING FURRIES HERE!

NEPETA: :33 aww yesssss! time to make some furiends

TEREZI: 3V3RYONE SM3LLS!

STUDENT 1: Hey freaks

ERIDAN: excuse me? wwe aren’t the freaks here!

GAMZEE: hEy BrUh WhY yOu GoTta Be MeAn To My FrIeNdS?

Equius gets up at Student 1 face. the kid pisses himself

EQUIUS: D--> listen you disgrace you will leave me and my friends alone! we are not the freaks here! we got noble blood that is higher than yours. you should listen to us because we rule the school. now get lost (Cracks Knuckles).

Student 1 runs away

EQUIUS: D--> a waste of our time

SOLLUX: thanks eq

KANAYA: Did He Just Soil Himself?

KARKAT: HA! YEAH EQUIUS SURE SCARED THE PISS OUT OF THAT DWEEB!

(Suddenly Jade harley walks past)

JADE: hi guys :)

(All of the trolls stare in aw. Yes Jade is still a girl And a human in this AU).

ARADIA: oh wow she is so pretty. she makes me feel more alive than i already am

TAVROS: wOW SHE IS SO PRETTY!

SOLLUX: ii thiink ii have a thiing for human female2 wiith long black haiir.

KARKAT: HOLY FUCK!

NEPETA: :33 she is so puritty!

KANAYA: My What Lovely Clothing She Has

TEREZI: HOLY SH1T!

VRISKA: That ass ;:::)

EQUIUS: D--> Oh my! I need a towel

GAMZEE: sEe GuYs MiRaClEs Do ExIsT

ERIDAN: looks like this vviolet gal here is getting a human girl in her red quadrant today

FEFERI: GLUB GLUB!

The trolls then all look at eachother

KARKAT: FUCK ALL OF YOU! SHE IS MINE! OUT OF ALL OF YOU I DESERVE A GIRLFRIEND!

TAVROS: nO WAY MAN, i DESERVE HER, WE LITERALLY WOULD BE THE BEST COUPLE IN THIS SCHOOL, bESIDES YOU’RE TOO LOUD!

SOLLUX: ii am 2mart! ii thiink ii de2erve her more than the 2 of you.

EQUIUS: D--> no way. i have higher blood than the three of you. who wouldn’t like a lovely bl00 lady like me? she will be mine! understood lowbloods?

ERIDAN: i am prettier than the 4 of you so she’ll be in my red quadrant. it’s the truth i don’t make the rules!

GAMZEE: HONK!

NEPETA: :33 oh wow the girls are fighting ofur her.

KANAYA: I Don’t Blame Them

VRISKA: Ha! Well she is mine. The rest of you can just find someone else. Look fussyfangs (Points at Dave) I think that man over there would be a gr8 man for you! You should go talk to him.

KANAYA: No. He Seems Like A Asshole I Think You Should Date Him.

VRISKA: Nah. He’s uglyyyyyyy!

NEPETA: :33 i think he means black dating

VRISKA: Sure but right now that raven haired human girl is going in my red quadrant.

KANAYA: No She Is Not Why Would She Want To date You?

VRISKA: Because I am a hot mother fucker!

FEFERI: )(a! Sea t)(ese muscles gentlemen. T)(e human is going to be mine

VRISKA: You’re a dick! Why would she want to 8e with you?!

FEFERI: My blood colour you ass! Also t)(e very fact that I )(ave )(igher blood t)(an all of you so )(A!

TEREZI: SUCK 1T! NOBODY W4NTS SOMEBODY WHO SM3LLS L1K3 F1SH!

FEFERI: (pulls out Trident) T)(AT’S IT!

Kanaya pulls out his chainsaw.

KANAYA: WILL YOU ALL JUST STOP! Why Are You All fighting For A Girl We Don’t Even Know?

KARKAT: BECAUSE.....

(Suddenly dave strider passes)

DAVE: Sup grey humans. Nice candy corn horns.

ARADIA:.......our horns aren’t candy buddy

DAVE: Hey there beautiful (Looking at karkat)

KARKAT: (BLUSHES)

KANAYA: Jesus He Seems Like A Asshole

VRISKA: 8ut fussyfangs he’d 8e the perfect guy for you.

EQUIUS: D--> Let’s get to class

(In Fourth Period)

TEACHER: So class today we will be learning about geometry. Now turn to page 69 in your text books

(The whole class heavily sighs)

All the trolls couldn’t stop thinking about Jade. 11 of them wanted her in their red quadrant. You can guess who doesn't. He just wanted to be her morail.

JOHN: hi.

KANAYA: Hello Human

JOHN: you’re really handsome.

KANAYA: Thank You Now Could You Tell Me About This Human That Has Green Eyes And Long Black hair

JOHN: oh, that’s my sister jade harley! have you met her yet? she’s awesome isn’t she?

KANAYA: My Friends Are Obsessed With Her

JOHN: oh really? well she is really pretty and a very friendly person so it’s understandable.

VRISKA: Hey Fussyfangs! Why are you talking to that loser?

JOHN: I am not a loser!

VRISKA: so this jade human is related you you, huh? So 8uddy can you tell me how to get her in my red quadrant?

JOHN: red quadrant?

VRISKA: How can I make her my girlfriend? Jegus you humans are stupiiiiid!

JOHN: join the football team! seems something you’d be good at as well as your shirtless friend. in fact why don’t you have half of your friends join the cheerleading squad and half join the football team.

VRISKA: Thank you weirdo

JOHN: it is john, MY NAME IS JOHN!

(Later on at Lunch)

VRISKA: Ok guys so this John human says to get the girl of our dreams is to choin football and cheerleading.

TEREZI: WH4T 4BOUT 4RT CLUB?

KANAYA: Terezi You Would Just Get Kicked Out For Eating All The Crayons And Chalk

TEREZI: H3H3H3H3 TH3 ONLY R34SON 1 W4NT3D TO JO1N!

TAVROS: sO WHO IS JOINING WHICH SPORT

VRISKA: You can just join cheerleading! You’d suck and get crushed in football.

TAVROS: eXCUSE ME?

SOLLUX: ii thiink ii’ll joiin cheerleading. that 2ound2 fun.

KARKAT: I THINK I’LL JOIN TOO! TIME TO SHOW OFF MY AWESOME SKILLS

GAMZEE: i’M wItH yOu Sis

ERIDAN: all the girls wwill be jealous of me!

EQUIUS: D--> i will join football so i can crush all the dumb peasant males on there

FEFERI: Right! Me and you Equius! Going to crush all t)(e losers on there!

NEPETA: :33 i’ll join ch33rleading. it s33ms fun.

ARADIA: i’m going to use my ghost powers.

VRISKA: You ass! That’d 8e cheating!

ARADIA: yeah and i don;t care. stay mad blue blooded scum!

VRISKA: >::::(

TEREZI: W1SH 1 COULD JO1N 4RT CLUB!

(Johm comes up to their table)

EQUIUS: D--> no humans aloud

VRISKA: There’s my man

KANAYA: You Are Dating?

VRISKA: Nah, I don;t date nerds

JOHN: so are you guys doing the cheerleading and football?

KANAYA: Apparently.

JOHN: any of you also want to join LGBT+ Club?

TEREZI: WH4T 1S TH4T?

JOHN: For Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, Queer, Allies and others.

ARADIA: we wouldn’t mind joining. after all we are all bisexual since we trolls are all bisexual.

KARKAT: PANSEXUAL!

ARADIA: whatever.

KANAYA: I Prefer Males In My Red Quadrant.

JOHN: cool. you’re gay and that is fine. we meet on wednesdays. oh and dave is going to be there

(John Leaves)

VRISKA: Kaaaaaaaanaaaaaaaayaaaaaaa :))))))))

KANAYA: No

(So later on the 6 try out for cheerleadong and the other 6 tryout for football. Surprisingly they all make their respective teams)

To be continued. See next time how The 11 trolls try so hard to get Jade in their quadrant.

#Hs #Aradia Megido #Tavros Nitram #Sollux Captor #nepeta lejion #nepeta leijon #kanaya maryam #Karkat vantas #terezi pyrope #Vriska Serket #Equius Zahhak #Gamzee Markara #eridan ampora #feferi peixes #John Egbert #Jade harley #Dave Strider

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corvid-knight · 6 years

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Tricksters Don't Cry

The aftermath of Rose and Kanaya's wedding as it impacts a certain pointy-shades idiot and British-sounding dork. In other words, why Dirk and Jake needs to learn to fucking talk to each other.

(Read it on ao3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12836904)

You have lost track of Jake.

How in the hell did you manage that?

You sigh, adjust your shades, and survey the wreckage of what was Rose and Kanaya's wedding. The party got...a little wild. Calliope brought one of her trickster lollipops (also known as "alien marriage love drug," also known as "something humans should have no part of"), with the result that you just spent an hour keeping Dave from molesting John, Karkat, and pretty much everyone else here. He's going to have some pretty heavy embarrassment when he finally comes down off it. He's halfway down now, actually, curled up on a chair with a bemused Karkat, hiccupping and giggling at the same time, both of them wrapped in Dave's cape.

Jake. Focus, Dirk. When was the last time you saw Jake?

Oh, yeah. Dave apparently decided he wanted to try out your boyfriend. The resulting smooch was...well, you really hated seeing it. Sometimes you're a jealous bitch. (You're off-topic again, and there is really no point in thinking about how you wanted to kill Dave for one short moment there. Seriously, stop thinking about how Jake made that little squeak that you thought he only did when you kissed him...)

OFF-TOPIC, STRIDER. And painfully so.

Okay, Dave kissed him. (And you are not thinking of that kiss at all.) Jake turned trickster...what the hell happened next?

Oh. Yeah.

Jake took off immediately, and before you could follow him Dave grabbed you and tried to stick his tongue down your throat. Which...yes, he is hot as hell...but genetically he is also your brother. Father. Whatever. The point is, you don't feel right having sloppy makeouts with him.

Also, Karkat was watching. You'd prefer not to wake up one morning minus your head.

So you fended Dave off. Then you kept him from overwhelming Karkat—trolls don't get the as much of the sugar-happy personality boost from trickster candy, and being semi-normal and on the receiving end of a trickster's attention can be dangerous unless you know what you're doing—and then you talked him out of going back in time and bringing back past-Karkat. One thing kept leading to another, and somehow you haven't had a Dave-free minute until now.

So where the heck did Jake go? Usually, tricksters go straight to whoever they're in love with, and he's not here.

(And yes. You know he might be with someone else right now. He probably is. It isn't like you and him are actually dating anymore. This line of thought hurts more than thinking about Jake kissing Dave.)

Regardless of any of that, you still need to find him before he causes too much trouble. You just have no idea where to start.

But, now that you think about it, you know someone who does.

timaeusTestified (TT) started pestering Arquiusprite^2 (ARQUIUS)

TT: Hal? TT: Look, I know we didn't part on the best of terms, but I could use a little help here. TT: Actually, let me rephrase that: I really need help. Please.

ARQUIUS: Wow, something I've never got out of you: "please." ARQUIUS: And seriously. It's ARquius. not Hal anymore.

TT: Okay then. TT: Arquius. TT: Is there any way I can convince you to use that vaguely defined spritely omniscience to see where Jake is?

ARQUIUS: ... ARQUIUS: Done.

TT: Um. TT: Could you, I don't know, tell me? TT: Please?

ARQUIUS: You must be really freaking out if you're being polite to me. ARQUIUS: I'll tell you where he is IF you tell me why you chose to call me instead of one of the other sprites.

You sigh again, at that. Damn the AR and all the games he likes to play. Especially since they all seem to feature "Dirk confronting something he really doesn't feel like thinking about." Maybe the most annoying part about that is that you know it's probably because of some aspect of your own personality that you repress or some shit.

TT: Truthfully? TT: I hate asking for help, and asking you is only half a step removed from doing it myself. TT: Is that what you were hoping to hear?

ARQUIUS: Not really. I didn't really "hope" to hear anything to be honest. ARQUIUS: Although it does prove that you're still just as messed up as you were before we parted company.

TT: Thanks, Arquius. TT: Your aspersions on my mental state are exactly what I need right now. TT: This makes everything so much better.

ARQUIUS: Wow, set phasers to "sarcasm!"

TT: Arquius...

ARQUIUS: Okay, okay. ARQUIUS: I've marked his location on your GPS. ARQUIUS: Is that all you need?

TT: Yeah. : Thanks, Arquius.

timaeusTestified (TT) stopped pestering Arquiusprite^2 (ARQUIUS).

It takes a little wandering around to figure out exactly where Jake is, even with the GPS. When you do finally realize that he's in Kanaya's closet, you have to roll your eyes. Here you are worrying about him, and he's probably in there making out with Aranea or something...

But because you're both a paranoid idiot and a masochistic fuck, you open the door anyway.

"Jake?" He hasn't got anyone in here. The light's off, and you flick it on to see him huddled in the far corner, hugging his knees to his chest. All you can really see is a mop of neon-green hair. "What are you doing?"

"I don't want it." His voice is muffled because he doesn't raise his head, but he doesn't sound like he's all the way trickster. He still sounds almost normal. "Dirk, I'm sorry..."

"Hey." You step all the way into the closet, shuttting the door behind you, and kneel next to him. "What are you talking about?"

"This." He looks up, at you, and if you weren't so used to keeping all your reactions perfectly under control you'd have flinched. There are tears on Jake's face, pale green tears that look so, so wrong. "I...don't want to be this."

"Jake, how..." Tricksters don't cry. It's not possible; one of the effects of the cherub candy is to basically turn off regrets, inhibitions, and almost every other negative emotion. But Jake's sitting in front of you, being impossible. "What's wrong?" Forget whether or not it's possible, actually. You just want it to stop. You can't stand seeing him in tears.

You go to wipe the tears off his face, and stop when he flinches away. Okay, something is very wrong. You remember the last time he went trickster; he wanted to touch you, kiss you, wrap himself around you like a second skin.

"Don't—" He shudders, hard, and scoots an inch farther away from you. "Dirk, I am barely holding on as things stand now. The trickster...it wants me to give in...so much."

You didn't know it was possible to fight off being trickster, but then again there's a lot you don't know about it. You're not even totally sure why you only go halfway when you turn, why your mind stays the same. Actually, yeah you are: as a Prince of Heart, you have the ability to rule your self, to stay under control no matter what happens. And you guess...since Jake's a Page of Hope, he can do whatever he believes he can.

Watching him shudder, watching the tears roll down his face, you are pretty fucking sure that that is not a good thing.

"Jake." He was avoiding your eyes; now his gaze snaps to your face. "Just let go. It's okay."

"N-no—"

"Why the fuck not?" You bite down on your tongue. The last thing he needs is to know how much he's hurting you. How much you still care, how much you still love him.

"Y-you." He lowers his head again and starts rocking back and forth. "I want you, I know I want you, and I-I-I..."

"Oh, Jake..." He's putting himself through this because he doesn't want to get back together with you.

"I'm sorry." That's muffled, but you can hear it just fine. "So—so sorry..."

"Stop. Just stop, okay?" You grab his shoulders, trying not to wince at his panicked gasp. He tries to curl into a tighter ball, but you don't let him. "Look. I can go away. Leave you alone until it wears off so you don't do anything you don't want to—"

"Please—no!" Having your hands on him is like touching a live wire, he shaking so hard. "Don't, don't leave me, I'm s-s-sorry..."

Oh, god.

He thinks you don't love him anymore.

"I'm sorry. D-Dirk, I—"

"Shh." You let go of him for one second, just long enough to slip your shades off and lay them on one of the shelves. "No. This is fine. I'm fine with this, Jake." When he looks up, you kiss him, closing your eyes so you don't have to see how teary his are.

You can handle being trickster. You hate it, it's depressing as hell, but it's not going to hurt you like fighting it is hurting Jake.

As soon as your lips touch his, Jake goes utterly still. He makes a noise that's either a soft cry of "no" or a moan—you can't tell which.

You can't feel the change in your head yet. Going trickster isn't going to completely change you like it does everyone else, but you should be able to feel it.

Jake whimpers into your mouth, gasps, and pulls away just enough to throw his arms around you, knocking you off balance. You barely manage not to topple over as he buries his face in your shirt.

"What—" His hair. It's not green anymore. For some reason, kissing him turned his trickster off instead of turning yours off. "Jake. It's okay."

You can't even tell if he heard you. He's clinging to you as if you're the only thing keeping him from falling, breathing too deep and too fast.

"It's okay. You're okay." If he keeps that up he's going to pass out. "Jake, you need to calm down..." You stroke his hair, a little slower than the rhythm of his breath.

"I love you," he whispers into your shirt, so quiet you barely hear it.

And you almost freeze up, because that is literally all you want. You've been telling yourself that you're fine without him, fine just being friends, but you can only lie to other people. Not yourself. You want Jake more than you want to stay alive, and he just said that he still loves you.

"I love you too." It's inadequate, but it's all you can say. "I love you too, Jake."

He takes a deep, halfway-calm breath. And then he starts to really cry. You catch a few almost-coherent words, but they don't make sense.

He cries onto your shirt, and you stroke his hair, you rub his back and make soft shushing noises and wait. Eventually, Jake's sobs taper off and stop. But he doesn't loosen up his grip on you.

"You okay?" you ask softly.

He finally raises his head to look at you. "I missed your eyes," he says. "I thought everything was just dandy, but as soon as the trickster popped up all the little things I miss about you added up and I—"

"Hey, it's okay. It's okay." He's about to start crying again, you can tell. "I'm right here, you don't have to miss me, and I'm not going anywhere."

Jake takes a deep breath, and finally lets you go. "I'm making a lovely fool out of myself, aren't I?"

"You got that half right—you're definitely lovely." When he goes red—he never could take a compliment—you continue, "You just managed to shake off the influence of cherub candy without doing…well, anything trickster-like. I'd say that was the opposite of making an fool out of yourself."

He shudders. "I don't want to ever do that again."

"Hey, next time just come find me. I'm totally down for going down on you."

"Dirk!"

"Or vice versa."

"Dirk!"

You weren't aware that Jake was capable of turning that shade of red. "What, you're telling me you didn't want to?"

"I—I just—no! I mean yes—I mean..." As Jake's stammering, the closet door opens. He freezes, blushing a few shades deeper still.

You look over your shoulder. "Hey, Kanaya." Yes, this is embarrassing. No, you don't let it show. "You want us to relocate?"

Kanaya sighs. "You two," she says sternly, "just cost me two weeks worth of making dinner for Rose. I need a shirt off that shelf behind you, Jake."

"Uh—" Jake just stares at her, so you reach behind him and pull something off the shelf. Maybe it's a shirt, maybe not, but you toss it to Kanaya, and she catches it.

"Are we good?" you ask her.

"Of course, although I would have liked it if you could have waited another week. This door has a lock; keep that in mind if you feel like having a bit more privacy." She winks at you—did you really just see that?—and steps back out of the closet, shutting the door behind her.

You stare after her for a minute, then turn back to Jake. He still looks embarrassed, but now there's a substantial amount of bewilderment thrown in. "Did she," he asks carefully, "did she and Rose have a wager on for if we'd get back together?"

"I think it was for when we'd get together, actually," you tell him. "Not if."

He opens his mouth. Closes it again. And bursts out laughing. You don't see why, but watching him laugh is enough to get you to smile at least.

He's still laughing when he reaches forward, grabs your head, and pulls you in for another kiss.

Having him laughing is a thousand times better than having him in tears. Having him of his own mind versus having him in trickster mode...

Well. There is no comparison whatsoever.

And you are more than happy to kiss him back.

#Dirkjake #Dirk #Jake #arquius #kanaya #Dumb baby boys

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thathopelessromantic · 6 years

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The Things We Don’t Understand

Fandom: Homestuck Pairing: John Egbert x Dave Strider Raiting: T+ Note: AU, In honor of 4/13, I don’t have time to write anything new until the end of the semester but I haven’t posted all of my hs on my tumblr yet so here you go

Your name is Dave Strider and there are very few things in this world that you don’t understand. Unfortunately for you, one of those things happens to be your very best friend-John Egbert. Like you, John is an enigma. Unlike you, who seems to baffle everyone you interact with save for John and your siblings, the only person who seems baffled by John is well…you.

Otherwise known as, in which the title and summary both make this story sound way more serious that it actually is or ever was supposed to be.

AO3: (x)

--> Your name is Dave Strider and there are very few things in this world that you don’t understand. Unfortunately for you, one of those things happens to be your very best friend-John Egbert. Like you, John is an enigma. Unlike you, who seems to baffle everyone you interact with save for John and your siblings, the only person who seems baffled by John is well…you.

It wasn’t as if you completely lacked any type of understanding of your best bro. It’s just that after all these years of friendship there were some aspects of John Egdork that you still could not fully comprehend.

You understand John’s likes and interests. You don’t quite know why they’re John’s interests but you know them and have come to appreciate the part of John they represent. You know that at least 70% of the time, John has poor character judgement and tries to befriend all sorts of whack-jobs. You know what John likes about and values of himself and even more what he doesn’t-though some of his insecurities still seem absolutely nuts to you.

But you can’t seem to understand the boundless amounts of energy the kid seems to have. Or how he almost never allows the smile to falter from his lips. It is frustratingly bizarre how blue his eyes are when you literally wear shades 98% of the time you are with him regardless of conditions or locations and all colors should have been muted by your tinted glasses.

And for the love of God, you could not figure out how someone whose entire life consisted of sitting in front of a gaming system, pranking people, and playing the piano could possess the choicest ass you had ever seen either side of Mississippi but he did. You had a pretty slammin’ hot bod yourself, not to be too vain, but you worked for yours dammit. Strifing took a lot of effort. John though-it was like the fucking Puberty Fairy came and gifted him with perfect…everything and then just got the hell out of dodge.

--> Your name is John Egbert and by this point it is no secret that your best bro has been “subtly” checking you out for the past few weeks. The only question was why. You tried bringing it up with Dave himself but he quickly dismissed it as your imagination and changed the subject.

Part of you was frustrated (sexually mostly) by Dave’s weird actions. Another part was a tiny bit thrilled. Most of your friends and schoolmates were familiar with your constant mantra of “not a homosexual” when you were thirteen. Then the past summer you had to go with some estranged great-uncle you had never heard of before, per your dad’s insistence, to help him out around his place. When you came back for the start of the new school year you were surprised to find Dave in the beginnings of something with a mutual friend you could have sworn was interested in someone else when you left. Strangely you found yourself deeply irritated by their new closeness and after many late-night, long-lasting “feeling jams” (as Dave called them) with one of your good friends Rose, the two of you came to one simple conclusion. You had some very deep homosexual-or at the very least bisexual-feelings towards your best bro and you had been jealous as hell.

You were less jealous now as you and Dave slowly fell back into your old routine and Karkat seemed less and less actually romantically interested in Dave. But recently Dave’s been acting really weird and though you usually can’t see his eyes behind his shades you can feel them on you a lot more than they ever were before.

You’re determined to figure out what’s going on but it’s become pretty obvious you’re going to have to do it all on your own. Dave of course acts like there is nothing going on and the only other one who might have any idea what’s going on is Rose. And you know better than to ask her for help with this kind of stuff.

--> Your name is Dave Strider and unfortunately, you’re at school. It’s your lunch hour which is slightly less painful that the rest of the school day but you still don’t want to be here. When you enter the lunch room you’re not surprised to see John already at the usual table alone. Though his back is to you and you tend to walk rather quietly, it’s like he has a sensor or something and can feel your presence. When you’re about half-way to the table John turns around and meets your eye. His eyes are still an unsettling bright shade of blue and when he sees that it’s you he smiles like you just made his day. You’re a Strider and Strider hearts don’t flutter especially at dorky buck-toothed smiles, but they just might skip a beat or two when caught off guard.

“Hey Dave!” John greets you like you hadn’t just seen each other two class periods ago but you can’t ever seem to be even a little bothered by his unbridled enthusiasm.

“Sup?” You give your usual greeting and slide onto the seat next to him.

“How was history?” John asks. It’s one of the few classes the two of you don’t share. You give a noncommittal shrug. You slept through most of it and John knows that but he always asks anyways. Before John can ask you anything else the table starts to fill with your other friends and John turns to greet them. Part of you wants to grab John and make him turn his attention back to you but you resign from doing something quite so embarrassing and sit there in silence, nodding hello to those who greet you as they sit down. John scoots his chair closer to you to make more room for whoever is sitting on the other side of him and you tense. The two of you are in completely different chairs but you can feel John’s entire thigh flush against your own and before you can even think about moving away from him before you do something stupid Terezi shoves a chair between you and Karkat, who’s arrival you’re not sure how you missed, leaving you absolutely nowhere to go. When you look up Rose is watching you and smiling like this was all part of her evil plan and everything is going just swimmingly. Sometimes you really hate your twin. When John finishes his greetings and whatever brief conversation he was having with Jade, he turns back around to look at you.

“Dave, are you cold?” John asks like he cannot believe how someone could be cold in the middle of April. Well it’s not your fault you’re originally from Texas and this damn school thinks it’s a good idea to blast the AC from the beginning of March to the end of the school year regardless of the temperature outside. Honestly you can feel your body heating up under John’s scrutiny and from how close he is to you but you’re not surprised that he’s asking with his leg pressed against yours. That boy is like a goddamn space heater.

“It’s fucking freezing in here, Egbert, of course I’m cold.” You complain, shifting in your seat. Somehow you manage to press your leg even closer to his and you try not to let your surprise show through on your face. John gives you a once over, taking in your skinny jeans and sweat shirt. He’s already changed out his jeans and sweaters for shorts and t-shirts and it’s not even to the sixties yet. You so don’t get this kid.

--> Your name is John Egbert and you might just be being a little bit mean now.

You hadn’t intended to spend your last three classes of the day purposely trying to get a rise out of Dave but that’s how it was turning out. You were blaming the behavior on what happened at lunch. You and Dave were best bros, there were lots of times when there was some totally platonic, full-on physical contact and yet you had never noticed him tense up like he did today at lunch. Normally Dave was totally cool and collected but for some reason today he got very easily flustered. He even stuttered a few times which he only ever did when he was super embarrassed or nervous. Honestly you found it kind of adorable but considering Dave would probably want to kick your ass if he heard that you never said anything about it.

But now it’s last hour, math class, and though Dave is in the seat in front of you, you can tell he’s embarrassed. First of all he’s blushing. All the way to the tips of his ears, which really is the only reason you can tell. He’s also tense, sitting a little more forward in his seat than he normally would. And lastly he still hasn’t responded to your note. The two of you had been passing notes for the better half of the class you last passed one to him nearly ten minutes ago and still haven’t received a response.

You were a little worried you had taken it too far. You knew Dave wasn’t entirely heterosexual, though he had never claimed a specific sexuality, but he didn’t know you were anything but just that. You didn’t want him to think you were just making fun of him. Good-natured teasing was one thing but it was just wrong if you actually hurt or bothered Dave. You also thought that maybe you were reading things wrong. Just because you wanted Dave to be interested in you didn’t mean he actually was and you’d rather pine from afar than screw up your friendship with your best bro.

The little paper square you and Dave had been passing notes on hits you square on the nose. Dave must have thrown in back while you were lost in thought. Trying not to be too obvious about it you unfold the paper a little too eagerly. The two of you had been discussing you hanging out at Dave’s over the weekend. It wasn’t an odd conversation; most weekends were spent together at your place or his. Discussing it seemed more like a formality than anything. You quickly scanned over the page, filled with sloppy blue and red chicken scratch to make sure Dave hadn’t gone back to an earlier point in the conversation and made a new comment. He did that sometimes. He also sometimes started drawing right over his words so that you had to convince him to rewrite whatever he was trying to say somewhere else so you could actually read it. And started random raps along the margins of the page. Everything seemed to be as it was when you sent the note so you finally look down to the bottom of the page where you really want to read. Your last message sticks out in oddly dark letters.

awesome! it’s a date! :)

Dave’s bright red, slightly-neater response is under it. You almost don’t want to look but your desire to read it is stronger.

you bet your ass it is gonna be the best damn date ever ill rock your fucking socks off egbert

You smiled, folding the paper back up and sliding it into your pocket. What were you thinking? This was Dave you were talking about. How could you be worried?

-->Your name is Dave Strider and you’re fairly certain strifing with your brother while avoiding his fucking puppets, Rose’s way too personal questions, and Roxy’s overly-affectionate behavior when she’s intoxicated all together is less taxing than having an extremely attractive, bizarrely happy, painfully straight best friend.

The school bell rang ten minutes ago. It’s Friday. You’re done with school for the week. Your best friend is coming over to spend the weekend with you. You should be excited. Instead you’re…nervous? You try to tell yourself Striders don’t get nervous but you’re really starting to think you are.

John’s walking a few feet ahead of you, chatting with Jade and Rose. He’s not concerned. He’s used to you dragging behind. You kind of think you should pick up the pace and walk with them so that you’re not in the prime position to be starting at his ass but you can’t bring yourself to move any faster. It’s John’s idea of warm outside so he’s in baggy khaki shorts instead of the tight jeans he wore all winter so there shouldn’t even be something remotely interesting about his backside but it’s like the image of John’s toned derriere in that dark denim is seared into your brain and you just can’t help but stare at it now. You consider the fact that you may need psychological help if your obsession with your best bro’s rear-end continues much longer. But you dismiss the thought a moment later. You know what your problem is and going to a professional-or Rose-would just be a waste of everyone’s time because you would all come to the same conclusion you had reached months ago when he came back from his great-uncle’s place tanned and toned and tall and gorgeous.

You have it bad for your best bro and it’s just getting worse as time passes. It doesn’t help that John hasn’t dated anyone, or even really shown interest in anyone, since he broke up with his freaky girlfriend Vriska in sophomore year and he recently has been way more…physical with you. But you have a bad feeling that even if neither of those things were true, you would still be just as far gone.

The three of them reach your beat-up pick-up truck and stop to wait for you. John digs out his car keys from his pocket and turns them over to Jade who would drive his car home. They were next door neighbors and John always gave her rides to school. She always drove his car home when John stays at your place unless it’s a big shindig with the whole group. Rose usually drove your truck home when you went to John’s. You finally catch up with them and all say your goodbyes. Your truck only has a single bench seat in the cab so you, John, and Rose all throw your bags in the bed of the truck and squeeze yourselves into the cab, Rose in the middle of you and John because she’s the smallest. Part of you almost wishes Rose wasn’t with you. The other part of you is glad Rose is there to keep you from doing something stupid before the weekend even starts.

The drive from the school to the house where you and your three siblings live isn’t too long. Upon arrival Rose immediately retreats into her bedroom, requesting not to be disturbed, and you and John claim the couch. If Roxy and Dirk are home, there isn’t a sign of them.

You and John waste no time starting what will most likely be a weekend-long “gaming extravaganza” (John’s dad coined the term back when the two of you were freshman and for some unexplainable reason it stuck) and for the most part you could ignore your usually painfully obvious crush on your best friend. Even with John’s entire side pressing intimately against your own so that you’re not only stealing some of his over abundant body heat but you can also feel every little vibration when he speaks or laughs you can pretend for a while you’re not seriously lusting over the big dweeb.

It has to be close to seven o’clock when Dirk appears, seemingly out of nowhere, to stand in front of the television, blocking specifically your view, and asks if the two of you want pizza for dinner. Normally you’re suspicious of Dirk offering up food like that without any prompting but since he tends to be slightly more behaved whenever guests are over (though with how often John is over you sometimes wonder if he really counts as a guest anymore) you both give him an affirmative and he sticks around just long enough for you to lose the current round and call in the order.

Grumbling about the loss, you pause the game as John gets up to go to the bathroom. As soon as you hear the bathroom door shut Dirk reappears in the living room.

“How’s it goin’, little bro?” He asks casually, leaning against the door frame. Immediately your eyes fly to him. You know that voice. It’s his I-know-something-you-don’t-want-me-to voice.

“Whatever Rose told you is probably bullshit.” You both know your lie is about as lame as they come but for some reason that doesn’t stop you from saying it.

“He is pretty cute.” Dirk continues, as if you had just gushed to him all the details of your sorry little crush. “Shame he isn’t wearing those nice jeans anymore. Those dark wash ones with the ripped knee, I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a pair of pants cup an ass quite as nicely as those ones did save for those shorts his cousin wears.” Jake English, the only “cousin” Dirk could be talking about wasn’t really John’s cousin. He was Jade’s. But considering John and Jade were practically raised like siblings it made sense that John counted him as family. You hoped Dirk was planning to stop there but of course, probably just to torment you some more, he keeps talking. You look around the room, trying to ignore your brother. For once one of his damn creepy plush dolls isn’t hanging around. Unfortunately for you since if there had been one you would have promptly used it to smother yourself so that you no longer had to listen to your brother compliment your crush’s finer assets.

Suddenly you notice water running and realize John is almost done in the bathroom. Dirk is still rambling about his something-or-another. Your reaction? Throw the nearest thing at Dirk. It’s an empty cup and even if he hadn’t moved when you threw it, it wouldn’t have reached him but it got you the desired effect of him leaving so that didn’t matter at the moment.

John returns a moment later and smiles at you, reclaiming his seat at your side. Wordless the two of you start up the game once again. You only get through one round when the doorbell rings. You pause the game. From your position on the couch, or more accurately on the floor in front of the couch, you can only see half of your brother’s back and a small portion of the front door.

“Pizza delivery to the Strider-Lalonde Residence.” You and John can’t see the speaker but there’s no mistaking the accented voice hidden from view. The pizza delivery guy is Jake English. No wonder your brother was so willing to order you pizza. It isn’t really a secret to anyone that Dirk has a thing for Jake. Well you weren’t so sure if Jake had caught on quite yet but you at least knew your brother was as hopeless crushing on Jake as you were on John.

You and John exchange looks. One way or another, you were most definitely going to use this against Dirk.

Once Dirk keeps Jake way over the normal amount of time it would take for a simple pizza delivery, he drops off the larger of the two pizza boxes to you and John and stalks out of the room. Not wasting time with formalities or other needless things like plates the two of you dig in. You both get through about two and half pieces before disaster strikes.

You’re absorbed in the act of devouring your third slice of pizza when John swears next to you. You turn your head to see what happened. Somehow he had managed to drop his pizza into his lap, smearing sauce and grease all across the front of his shorts.

Your first reaction is to think nothing of it. Then John stands up, dropping the half-eaten slice onto the box and you can feel yourself stop breathing. You’re not quite sure if John realizes what he’s doing but there’s a hunk of half chewed dough and cheese stuck in your throat, effectively stopping any type of noise or warning from escaping as John unbuttons his shorts and wiggles out of them. In the middle of the living room. Right in front of you.

You are currently eye level with bright blue boxer-brief covered junk of your best friend and you honestly think your brain is starting to shut down.

“I’m going to go put some soap on this before it stains.” John announces like this is the most normal thing in the world and walks out of the room.

-->Your name is John Egbert and OOPS.

You are currently in the Strider-Lalonde residence laundry room trying not to panic. You don’t know what you were thinking, just stripping in the middle of the living room like that other than that you weren’t thinking. There was most definitely such a thing as “too comfortable” with someone or somewhere. Sure this wasn’t the first time Dave had seen you in your underwear but who just strips in the middle of their best friend’s living room? And you hadn’t even thought about your positions. Maybe if you hadn’t glanced down at Dave while you were in the living room it wouldn’t have occurred to you but you did and now you can’t seem to get the image of your best bro’s flushed face level with your crotch out of your mind.

You want to crawl in a hole and hide until, hopefully, Dave forgets the entire incident. Or drown yourself in the rinse cycle of the washing machine. Both sound like entirely reasonable options.

The door to the basement opens and you turn, horrified, to find Dirk climbing up the stairs. The older Strider takes one look at you, puts the pizza box he was carrying on the edge of the trash can, and promptly turns around and walks back downstairs. You feel your cheeks grow even hotter. Wonderful. Now exactly half of the household has seen you without pants on.

Grumbling and cursing to yourself for your own stupidity you start searching for stain remover.

Not a full minute passes before you hear a surprised, distinctly feminine “Oh.” from the doorway. You turn, but you’re pretty sure you already know who’s there.

Sure enough, Rose is standing, half in the hallway half in the laundry room, with a laundry basket cradled against her hip. Well shit. Might as well call Roxy down to the laundry room just to make sure she’s not feeling left out.

“This is an interesting new look for you John.” Rose finally breaks the silence, stepping fully into the room and giving you a small, knowing smile as if she’s already figured out exactly what happened.

Instead of acknowledging her comment you look back at the cluttered shelf above the washer and dryer with a small noise of complaint. “Do you have any stain remover?”

Taking pity on you, Rose puts down her basket and pushes around some bottles until she finds a dark blue one that proclaims ‘STAIN REMOVER’ in big white letters. You lamely offer to help but Rose brushes your offer off and very efficiently preps your shorts to be washed.

“I can put them in the next white load.” Rose says simply, laying them out over the top of the dryer and returning to her basket to bring it closer to the washer. “They’ll be clean and wearable before you leave tomorrow.”

“Thank you Rose you’re a life saver.” You sort of want to hug Rose but decide against it. It’s already a little weird hugging Rose; you don’t need to make things any more awkward trying to hug her without pants on.

You fidget around the laundry room a little longer, mostly because you’re a little scared to go back to the living room, but Rose eventually kicks you out with the threat that if you stay any longer she’s going to make you sort through the laundry to find her and Roxy’s “delicates.” Rose is great and admittedly you had a bit of a crush on Roxy when you were growing up but you really do not need to know either girl that intimately.

Before returning to the living room you stop in Dave’s room. The fourth drawer in his dresser is filled with your clothing, for impromptu sleepovers such as this one. You pull on a pair of pajama pants and go back downstairs.

Dave hasn’t touched the pizza since you left. The game the two of you had been playing before is still open to the paused menu screen. Dave doesn’t appear to have moved, even slightly, from the positon he was in when you fled the living room earlier. Nervously you run your hands through your hair a few times and adjust your glasses. When you move to return to your seat besides Dave you try to act as if everything is perfectly normal.

“Sorry about that.” You open, dropping back onto the floor and crossing your legs. “Didn’t want it to stain…new shorts and all that…”

At first it doesn’t seem like Dave even heard you then suddenly he nods, almost like snapping back to his senses and acknowledging you all at once.

“Right. Dadbert would’ve gotten mad. Wouldn’t want that.” Dave gives you a quick, signature, Strider smirk and just like that, things are back to normal.

-->Your name is Dave Strider and you’re still not sure how you managed to act normal after John’s little strip-show in the living room. Somehow though, you did it, and the two of you returned to your gaming until around one-thirty in the morning when Dirk showed up and shooed you out of the living room, insisting he had “shit it do.”

It didn’t really occur to either of you just how tired you were until you had to trudge up a flight of stairs to your bedroom. You hardly remembered to shut your door behind you as the two of you shuffled inside the dark room and flopped onto your bed. For a while you both just laid there in the quiet darkness. You were almost starting to fall asleep when you heard John start mumbling something about brushing his teeth and trying to sit up. Turning you head to face him you throw an arm over John, effectively stopping him in his tracks and he lies against the bed beside you once again.

“Break the rules once in a while, Egbert.” You mutter, your words partially muffled by the blankets beneath you. “Be all gross and stinky with me for a night and just forget about that.”

Its dark in your room without any lights and your shades still on but you can still see John’s nose wrinkle at the suggestion. But you don’t move your arm from around his waist and John never makes a move to try and leave after that.

You’re starting to fall asleep again when John reaches over and plucks your glasses from your face. Your eyes blink open in surprise, forced to adjust to the change in light all over again. John’s own glasses are still on his face, crooked from being pressed against your mattress and he looks ridiculous with his crooked glasses and messy hair and dreamy smile but he also looks unbelievably adorable in your bed and you kind of really want to kiss him.

“What are you doing Egbert?” You croak instead, reaching up one hand to rub sleepily at your eye. John keeps watching you with his dorky smile and bright eyes.

“Your eyes are pretty Dave. It’s nice to be able to see them once in a while.”

You freeze because on one hand you think you must be imagining things but on the other you are really certain you heard those words come from John. Then suddenly lips are pressed against your own and your eyes are fluttering closed and you’re thinking, oh great you’ve really gone off the deep end now actually acting on your desire to kiss John but it’s not you who started the kiss. At least you’re pretty sure you’re not the one who started it. Even if it was you, the one in charge now seemed to be John. He was the one who was shifting your positions so that your back was pressed against the mattress while you were chest to chest with your best friend, kissing like a couple of teenagers who mostly had no idea what you were doing.

When John breaks the kiss for air he’s all but straddling you in this position. His glasses are even more skewed than they were before. You can tell he’s scared, not sure what your reaction to the kiss is going to be, but he’s trying to smile at you like this is all perfectly normal.

You want to say something to him, anything really, but you can’t seem to find your voice. Instead you pluck his glasses off his nose as well. John squints at you in the dark, not quite sure what to make of that reaction and also because your image is now blurry. John’s about as blind as a bat without his glasses. You’re not sure how long you lie there under John, studying him in the pale light coming through your window. His eyes are still so damn bright they’re practically glowing. You can tell your lack of response is starting to make John nervous and he starts shifting uncomfortably over you. He opens his mouth to say something, and that’s when you strike. Burying your hand in his hair you pull him closer, pressing your lips against his own and shoving your tongue in his mouth before he can say anything. Instead he just moans into your mouth and the sound sends shivers over your entire body.

There were still a lot of things about John you didn’t understand but lying in your bed with his body flush against your own, in that moment it was perfectly okay.

#homestuck #davejohn #johndave #these boys are fucking embarrassing #and so is this fic #but oh well #i got my first piece of fanart for this one #and i love it still #au #dave strider #john egbert #rose lalonde #dirk strider #writing #fic #4/13 #rita writes

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lizardlicks · 7 years

Text

Port in a Storm: Part 2

Tiny addition to previous one shot request night short. Part one is here.

Full work now on Ao3.

“Eridan?”

You lift you head from the cooking fire when he finally saunters in from wherever the fuck he’s been hiding all day. He’s smiling a smug little self-satisfied grin and dripping wet, leaving muddy tracks across your floor.

“Hey, hey, go shake off- not in here!” You hunch, trying to shield your tiny fire from the sudden assault of flying water. “You want raw trout tonight? No, never mind, forget I asked that. You’d eat it when it’s still moving.”

“Aw, that’s the fun part.” He’s still smiling at you, like he’s got a secret and can’t wait to tell it. He flops down, heedless of the space he takes up- which is quite a lot in your little den, thanks so much, Eridan- and pulls you into his lap. You hardly have time to squawk a protest; he starts right in nibbling and nuzzling against your jaw with lake chilled lips, sending a shiver down your spine.

“Why-eee!,” your voice cracks on a squeak. He chuckles. Fucking jerk. You play-snap at him, miss of course, but it makes him back off long enough for you to string together a sentence. “Why were you swimming anyway? Your gills are going to get mucked up again.”

The problem with your seatroll is that he’s a sea troll, and you live on a river. Fresh water never bothered your gills for whatever reason, but he was in sorry shape when you found him, and not just from the fighting. Took you three weeks to get the inflammation down and he wouldn’t stop whining the whole time. Why now is he risking that again?

“I was working on somethin’ very important. The most important, in fact.”

“Oh really.”

“Yes. Actually, you need to come see it.” He doesn’t wait for you to give him an answer, just lifts you up like you’re no more burden to him than a knapsack. Which, if you’re being honest, you probably don’t even rate that high to a fully grown ocean giant that can carry you in one arm. You swat his shoulder.

“Dinner first.”

“But-”

“I caught it. I cooked it. I’m eating.”

He opens his mouth to argue, but his stomach growls suddenly. He sighs while you smirk. “Fine, but then you gotta come with me.”

“Deal.”

“Oh...” Maybe you shouldn’t have insisted on eating first, your stomach is trying to twist itself up into anxious knots. He’s brought you down the river bank a ways, to a place you know well, because it’s where you used to go to lick your wounds back when the big blues that liked to give you a hard time used to stake their claim here. That was before Eridan had literally washed up on your shore and decided he belonged here, belonged with you, and made you safe, warm and loved in a way you had been sorely missing.

Here, a scoop of shore and a sand bar forms a little bowl and the water slows. It’s overhung by sheltering trees and well hidden from any direction but the river. Right now, the water had nearly come to a standstill because someone- someone big, and stupidly piteous, that you love so dearly it hurts on occasion - has dammed up most of it with branches, rocks, and mud, leaving only a little inlet to keep the new still pool from stagnating. And smack in the middle is a large bubble nest.

It’s. It’s a really nice, bubble nest, you can certainly appreciate that. Uniform, very well shaped, good coverage. Anyone who got a look at that would be jealous. You can tell Eridan spent a lot of time and care in its crafting, and you’re sure he’d devote himself just as thoroughly to tending eggs and raising your spawn. This should be touching. You don’t know why the thought of helpless new grubs is sending you into a panic instead of filling you up with warm fuzzies.

“What do you think?” he prompts after you’ve stood their for a full minute not saying a damned thing, while trying to swallow around the lump in your throat.

“Very nice,” you offer, then wince at your own dumb mouth.

Eridan doesn’t seem to notice, he just perks up and smiles. “Yeah?”

“It’s...” You try to fish around your pan for something, anything else to say, but come up blank. Aw fuck. “It’s really nice, but... we need to talk about this first.”

You hate the way his fins fall just the tiniest bit as he tries not to look heartbroken and fails. “Yeah. Of course. It’s a big kinda deal.”

“A huge deal. We’d have wigglers. We’d be a... a clan.” Oh. There it is. There’s the deep, half-hidden well of old trauma feeding all your doubt and fear. The ugly thing rears up and sinks its teeth in, forcing tears up to the surface.

“You... don’t want that,” he tries to guess at your meaning. You start to shake your head then catch yourself, fearing he might take it the wrong way.

“I don’t want to lose my family again.”

“Oh,” he gentles all of a sudden, and reaches for you. You go without resistance when he pulls you against this chest and tucks you into the circle of his arms. “Oh, Kar. My precious heart...”

You hitch one breath and then the next, trying fruitlessly to hold back the building flood of memories while Eridan nuzzles between your horns and croons. It took you so long to bury the pain under mundane, day-to-day survival, even longer to lay to rest the idea of finding your clan. Faces and familiarity had been ripped from you, and the only thing you’d had left to hold yourself together was the instinct to live. And then this fucker, he just had to go and fall hornslong into you, and drag you out into the undertow of his current. He had to go and make you happy. And how much happier could you be with a clutch or three, all jewel bright colored grubs, and squealing pupas underfoot?

Knowing that he wants that with you, that he feels that same pull to cling forever and never let go, it hits you so hard it leaves you dizzy. How could you survive the heartbreak this time, if that all crashed down around your ears?

“I can’t. Eridan I can’t...”

He hums and shushes you softly. Big, cold paws cradle the back of your head, stroke soothing circles into your back as you try and fail to keep from breaking apart. You hate him a little for being so calm and understanding about it.

“We don’t have to, Kar, I just. I thought you might. With me.”

You sniffle, muffled against his chest. “The really messed up part is, I actually want to. But I’m also fucking terrified, and I don’t know what to do about it.”

“Me either.” He sighs and hugs you tighter. “I can’t promise it will always be sunshine an’ daisies an’ perfect happy hopbeasts, ‘cause that’s a load a fuckin’ cockamame shit. The best I can give is myself an’ if that ain’t good enough...” He trails off and you feel him shrug. “I don’t want to lose you either.”

“Lucky you, seems I misplaced all my common sense. Doesn’t look like you’ll be getting rid of me any time soon.”

You both lapse into silence, and he keeps on petting you, soothing out the tremors that had started to sink into your limbs. In the distance, a long chorus of trills calls out over the water, your neighbors evidently finding no such difficulties with spawning. They’ll have their claws full when their eggs hatch no doubt. At least you and Eridan wouldn’t have to deal with tiny, fussy psionic wigglers.

A thought bubbles up among the others swirling around the whirlpool of your mind. It’s not clear or well formed, but something about the potential of it makes it stick out.

“Let’s wait a season.”

“I’d wait as long as you want, Kar. Give you a whole eternity.”

“Sap,” you chuckle and kiss his mouth. “I mean, there’s gonna be other grubs about. Maybe we can... um. I don’t know, help out?”

He blinks and tilts his head. “You mean practice?”

When he says it like that it sounds stupid, but you try to shrug it off nonchalantly. “I guess so, yeah.”

Eridan flicks an ear fin as another echo of joined mating calls drifts down your shore. “That’s not a bad idea.”

“Yeah,” you say, embolded by his agreement. “And I’d like to plan for a bigger garden. And we’d need more den space...”

“Okay, planin’ an’ practice, we’ll try it the Karkat way.” He laughs when you gently headbutt his chin, and he places another kiss right between your horns. Then he nuzzles down to your fin, and mouths a little line over your jaw, and into the hollow of your throat like he thinks he’s being clever and distracting. Damn you, it works. You chirp, and tilt you head back.

“You think maybe,” his voice hums against the sensitive flesh and makes you shiver, “that we can practice the before-the-wigglers bits, too?

“Mm,” you purr, “ yes, definitely.”

#eridan ampora #karkat vantas #erikar #oviparous trolls #reproductive planning #bubble nests!#lizard writes stupid things

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