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#which makes me sad because i've pretty much nailed last kiss but it doesn't sound right because it makes this weird vibrate-y noise
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Getting into playing the guitar is all well and good until you realise that you want a proper guitar that sounds right and then realising that my wallet is not going to thank me in the long run because they are expensive 😭😭
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argentiniandoom · 1 year
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this is going to be a very long post of me rambling about some thoughts I've been having for some time. no need to read it but if you do, know that I love you and would give you a tender kiss in the forehead.
ok I admit I'm sometimes surprised at how little queerphobia I face where I live lmao. let me explain (no this is not a 'come to Buenos Aires' propaganda post, though I wouldn't mind if you are convinced by it):
so I realised I was bisexual at age 16 and immediately came out to my family over the course of the next few days. obviously 16 is not particularly late to figure out your sexuality lmao but it was surprising even to me since I knew I liked girls a lot for years. I still love women a lot, they're great. so great I'm now one too, which I started figuring out the next few years (it wasn't that long ago but it seems like it because of covid).
the response from my family was, admittedly, less than ideal. I definitely thought my family was a lot more 'progre' ('woke'). my sister was a terf back then and the first boy I liked was trans so yeah. and my mom became worried that I'd be punched on the street, especially when I started painting my nails and doing make up. I remember telling her 'don't worry, I'll punch them back' which was probably the worst answer I could have come up with lmao. my dad doesn't generally care that much one way or the other, or at least tries not to show it, though he sometimes drops a phrase like 'I'm just sad because that means I won't have grandchildren' which is wrong in at least 4 massive and entirely different ways, but tbf he is usually pretty understanding when I explain a subject to him well (which i kinda have to have the skill for). and my grandma, well, I don't talk to her anymore (though believe me, my sexuality is just the tip of the iceberg of the reasons why). on the other hand, the response from friends was great because the school I went to was 90% populated by queer people (though the only actual couples were straight so you'd only see straight kisses on recess, sadly 😔) and my college is probably higher than that lmao (I study filmmaking in a public university so yeah).
now, the response from the rest of the world (outside of places like say, pride marches or gay bars) was of absolute indifference. in the best way possible. I have noted some people looking at me when I use my full skirt but like, I look at anybody too for no reason . I never felt threatened or anything like it by a stranger. and from my acquaintances, like my dentists who I visit since I was born (literally, that very day) or the adults in the spaces I frequent, I usually only got passing remarks about my nails or skirt, and I was even offered nail polish once.
now I'm definitely not saying no response was ever bad. last period I had the worst teacher ever who loved humiliating students and always tried doing that one way or the other. the first time I showed up with a skirt he asked me twice if it was indeed a skirt (the second time asking if it was a monk's habit lol) and then proceding to give an example about the day's subject by using the story of a man wearing a skirt because it was the fashion or something. and look, that was, I believe, the most bigoted experience I ever had, BUT, while that may sound terrible and, for many queer people in most contexts, absolutely would be, let me make clear that this teacher is at the very least somewhat disliked by most students and he was trying to mock me in front of a class made up entirely by 18 to like 25 year olds, probably half of them queer. I found that amusingly pathetic more than anything else.
the only other (actually) bad experiences I had were comments made by some adult acquaintances, but all of them (that I can remember) were either questions from genuine ignorance, or easily countered, innocent opinions, if a little stereotypical. literally the only times I was actually insulted for being queer ware before I realised I was queer myself. that is, I was called mean things like 'puto' (kind of like the f-word but much more watered down and reclaimed lmao) by 15 year olds at my high school. obviously it's not great that that's normalised, but at the same time, it was just a mean group of teens. I have never been bullied for being queer nor do I think I would have. I was bullied for other stuff, sure, but that's a whole different issue.
now, that was a bold claim, saying 'I don't believe I would have been bullied for being queer.' I wanna clarify, this is based on personal experience and opinions and info I have on my schools and schoolmates, and definitely not a general claim about schools in Argentina or even Buenos Aires city. we still have trans people murdered here, and '¿Dónde está Tehuel?' ('Where's Tehuel?', a young trans man that was disappeared in early 2021 and has not yet been found) is still an important issue and a slogan for queer people and activists. we're not a country free of queerphobia by any standards, especially (from what I know) outside of Gran Buenos Aires (Buenos Aires City and the sorrounding metropolitan area). but that doesn't negate the fact that I have never, personally, been in any way attacked by anyone. people don't treat me differently, especially strangers. that said, I am still generally male presenting, just with some feminine gender expression, and I'm pretty big so most people would probably think twice before insulting me on the street lmao. so I may not be the best example, but I am the one I have.
again, that does not mean systemic queerphobia doesn't exist here, it is definitely not just a few bad apples. but we are still a country with a long history of very important social struggles, one of the first to legalize gay marriage and gender transition with one of the most progressive gender identity laws in the world.
the fight is far from over, but I can't help notice chatty old people will talk to me equally. that may be a bit weird, but it is something I'm glad for.
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kerie-prince · 3 years
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forgotten birthdays
Fred Weasley x Slytherin!reader
requested: (anon) Hiii, can I request something aangsty with Fred Weasley and slytherin reader? Like he got mad for something, maybe jealousy bc reader was spending much time with her house mates and he ignores her or says mean things to her but with a happy ending please 🥺
warnings: language
summary: Fred has his suspicions about your best friend and on the day of your birthday, he crosses the line which causes you to rethink your relationship
a/n: yoo this was hard to write for a quick second lol i hope you enjoy ~ plus, i got a new job so i'm in training and i'm so excited bc i've been wanting this job for so long (y/n/n = your nickname)
(gif not mine, cred to owner)
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It was getting irritating.
You love Fred with all your heart, but he needed to stop being jealous. Marcus Flint was, is, and always will just be a friend of yours. You two grew up together and are nearly attached to the hip. Never once had you two of you flirted or done anything together. It was purely platonic, but Fred insisted there was something.
And going to Marcus’ prefect dorm after every fight probably didn't help your cause all that well, but he's your best friend. Who else would you talk to? You didn't have many girlfriends and when Fred introduced you to Angelina, you had gotten into a big fight for no reason. But you never asked him to stop hanging out with her even though you wanted to.
You could tell she liked Fred, but you were confident enough to know that Fred would never do you wrong like that. So why does he think that of you? Why does he get to hang out with Angelina, but he gets angry when you barely say two words to Marcus?
It was hard, but you’d work it out and still love each other at the end of the day. But then your birthday came around, and you’d just about had it.
You woke up in a good mood; the river sent in flowing rays of sunlight. Not too blinding, but not too dim either. This would be the second time celebrating your birthday with your boyfriend and if last year was amazing, you couldn't wait to see what Fred had planned for you today.
You took your time getting ready; you put on more make-up than usual and rather than tying your hair up with a clip as you always did, you let it down and fixed some strays to better frame your face. When you walked into the common room, your best friend snuck up behind you and yelled in your ear, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Y/N!”
Your natural response was to duck down and cover your ears. You hated when he did that, but you still appreciate the sentiment. You punched his arm as you laughed. “That’s not funny.”
“Oh yeah, then why did I laugh?” Marcus joked. Malfoy and his friends were behind him chuckling, all boys greeting you and wishing you a happy birthday. Marcus flung his arm around your shoulder and walked with you to get breakfast.
Once in the Great Hall, you saw Fred and his friends all laughing at the Gryffindor table and just when you were about to break free from Marcus’ hold, he pulled you back, “Oh no you don’t. You have all day to hang out with Weasley and company, but right now, you are gonna have at least one meal with your best friend.” You weren't going to argue; you didn't want to. If you wanted to sit with Fred, you wouldn't have to put up a fight, you would just do it. At your Slytherin table were Marcus’ other friends, Adrian Pucey and Terence Higgs. You sat in between them and pulled your hood up when they started embarrassing you by singing a birthday song. It was starting to be a great day.
However, across the Hall was Fred glaring daggers at your best friends’ arm around you. He couldn't hear what was going on, either due to the fact that you were pretty far from where he sat, or from jealous rage. “Freddie, you alright?” George asked his brother. “Yeah, just fine, Georgie.” He couldn't stand Flint. He would be enraged with every glance towards you, every whisper in your ear during class, and every time he made you laugh. Fred was sure that Flint was in love with you, but because you grew up with him you were too blind to see it. He was convinced that at any given moment, your ‘best friend’ would take advantage of you.
What also made him upset is that not only did you let Flint wrap his arm around you, you didn't even come say hi to your boyfriend. You always came every morning to his table to give him a morning kiss and sometimes even sat at the Gryffindor table.
In potions class, you sat and waited for your boyfriend to come through the doors. You weren't sure what to expect from him. Fred is an absolute wild card and could come through those doors with anything. And no matter what he brought, he’d for sure get in trouble with Snape.
When he walked through the doors with his brother and Lee, you sat up straight in your seat and waved at him. He saw you, but instead of smiling at you and taking the seat next to yours, he just looked away and sat on the other side of the room. Did something happen? You chose to ignore it until lunch rolled around and he still hadn't come up to you to even say ‘hi’ to you. Had he forgotten your birthday? It could happen, but that doesn't explain why he looked to be in a bad mood.
Once your classes were finished, you walked up the changing stairs and said the password to the Gryffindor dorms. You remembered the updated password your boyfriend gave you the week before and it was your first time using it today.
You didn't know what to expect to see; you secretly wished that today was just a big prank and Fred had actually planned a surprise party of some sort. But when you stepped foot into the room filled with tones of red and gold, there was no party. Just Fred laughing with his friends like normal. Normal without you.
Lee’s laugh died down when he noticed you walking up to Fred. He noticed Lee getting quiet all of a sudden and asked him, “Why are you quiet all of a sudden?” He felt a tap on his shoulder and spun around. “What are you doing in here?”
“Why, are Slytherins not allowed inside?” you joked. Your voice was slightly quiet and had a slight sad tone to it. “I missed you today, is everything okay?”
“Yeah. Fine. I've just been busy. Like you have,” Fred didn't mean to sound so bitter, but he was getting tired of it. He was tired of being second best to Flint.
“What are you talking about?” you asked.
“You've been with Flint all day,” Fred explained himself. You rolled your eyes, two fingers grabbing the temple of your nose from it suddenly starting to become irritated like you were. “Merlin, this again? Freddie, we talked about this. Marcus is just a friend. He's my best friend.”
Fred scoffed, “Y/N/N, you may think that but he doesn't. You trust him too much to see it, but I do. He's not just a friend.”
“You’re friends with Angelina when you know she likes you. And I know it too, but I don't say anything because I don't want to be that girlfriend who controls her boyfriends,” you were tired of playing this game with him. Your voice was heard by everyone in the room and soon enough, tons of peers had all eyes on you. Some either decided to stay, and some like Neville decided to head straight into their dorm rooms and lock the door for safety.
“Me being friends with Angelina is nothing like you being friends with Flint and you know that,” Fred raised his voice louder than anyone’s probably heard him. George and Lee silently guided people out of the common room and up to the dorms. Some people looked over the stairs to get a view of the commotion downstairs. One of them being Angelina herself when she heard her name being called out.
“No you’re right, it's different because he’s not pining over me and waiting for me to become available,” your arms were flailing about in anger, pointing at nothing to put emphasis in your words.
“How many times do I have to say I don’t like Ang? It’s never going to happen!” Angelina heard from up the staircase. Everyone heard him, loud and clear. She ran into her dorm and slammed the door so hard that you could feel the walls shake. “Great,” Fred sighed in frustration. It wasn't the ideal way to let someone down. He intended on talking to her in private without listening ears so she wouldn't be embarrassed.
“I'm not saying you like Angelina. I know you don’t like Angelina. What I’m saying is that you’re wrong about Marcus. I know he doesn't like me, you're just acting insecure,” you yelled back at him..
“I don’t know why it’s so hard for you to see he has feelings for you, Y/N/N,” Fred yelled, “I see the way he looks at you in every class and in the Hall. But you’re too fucking stupid to see–,” he immediately stopped what he was saying.
You couldn't believe what he was telling you right now. You could handle him calling you naive, but stupid? This was low, even for him.
You were getting stares from everyone in the common room. Your pride was more than hurt in this moment; it was destroyed. No words came from your mouth as you were completely still in your seat on the couch. Your nails dug into your skin as it was formed into a tight fist. But the worst of all was that your lips were quivering and you had to fight the tears on your birthday.
Your fucking birthday.
“Well if it bothers you so much, then fine. I'll fix the problem,” you started to speak low for only him to hear you.
“How?”
“I’ll end the problem,” a single tear escaped and trailed down your cheeks. This was the last thing you wanted to do today, but you couldn't take it anymore. He was scared to ask, but his ego got in the way, “And what's the problem?”
“Us,” you stated. He started saying something, but you couldn't hear it as you left. No, you actively ignored everything he was saying at that point. The second you were outside, you started bawling. And you kept at it all the way to the Slytherin common room and into your room.
You paced around your room rubbing your hands on your arms to try and calm yourself down, but nothing was working. Before you even processed it, your legs took you to Marcus’ room without second thought. You continuously knocked on his door until he answered, shirtless and with sweatpants that looked like they were just thrown on.
“Listen, I know it’s your birthday but that doesn't mean that you can do whatever you want–,” he focused in on your face and saw your red cheeks and puffy eyes. You looked behind him and there was a girl with him who sat in his bed looking curious. He looked back to her and just simply ordered, “Out,” which got her moving in seconds.
Once she was gone, he pulled you in and shut his door. Marcus guided you to a black leather chair in his room. “Sit,” his voice was stern, but never harsh with you. “What happened?”
As if by cue, you broke down completely. “It's o-o-over.”
“What is?” he questioned. But piecing it together, there's only one reason you'd be this upset in his room.
He never really knew what to do in situations like when you'd have your usual arguments, always just telling you that everything will be fine and you and Fred would be fine in the morning.
But now, he was feeling two things. One, slight heartache that his best friend is upset in front of him and two, nearly absolute rage that Fred is such an idiot.
Marcus started rubbing your back, “Hey, look at me.” When you shook your head no, he gently tapped on your shoulders until you did. “You are gonna be fine. Okay? You will be fine. There's plenty of other guys here–”
“I don't want to be with other guys, Marcus. I want Fred. I love Fred. But,” you shrugged up both hands, “I don't know. I don't know.” Your best friend pulled you in for a hug.
“Hey, sleep here tonight. You shouldn't be alone right now, especially today.” You nodded your head and kept crying until you couldn't anymore.
“HEY!” Marcus’ voice traveled beyond the corridors. Students were fleeing left and right to move out of his way as he made a straight line towards the group of Gryffindors who sat around a tree outside.
Before they could react to what was going on, Marcus punched one of the tall gingers in his abdomen. “OW, what was that for?!”
“You're going to apologize to Y/N right now,” Marcus demanded.
“You idiot, I'm George,” he corrected, still bent over and leaning on Lee for balance. “Shit, sorry.” Marcus looked at Fred and punched him in the same area quicker before Fred could block it. “You're going to apologize to Y/N.”
With a strain in his voice, Fred looked at the Slytherin in front of him, “What for, she broke up with me.”
“Okay, why? Because you're pathetic and insecure.”
“Is that what she told you?” Fred straightened himself up rubbing on the pain. “Of course she told you, she tells you everything.”
“Yeah, why wouldn't she? I'm her cousin,” Marcus pointed out. If he wasn't so mad, he would laugh at Fred's look of astonishment.
“No, you have different family names. And you don't even look related,” Fred wasn't buying it.
“That's because when I was eight, my dad married her aunt. I'm still her cousin,” Marcus explained.
“She never told me anything, how was I supposed to know?” Fred complained. George and his other friends left the two to argue by themselves but stood at a close enough distance to hear the conversation and be able to jump in if it were to get violent.
“Maybe if you got your head out of your ass, you would actually pay attention to her,” Marcus used his pointer finger to push against Fred’s forehead which caused the ginger to swat his hand away. “So get over whatever complex you have and apologize. If I'm being honest, there's plenty of Slytherins that can treat her better but she wants you for some reason.”
Fred knew he was right. And it was that reason why he always felt the way he did. You were enamored by many housemates, all handsome and rich. But you didn't like any of them. You love Fred. You love the lanky, devious, modestly handsome, funny Gryffindor more than anyone you've ever met.
Fred didn't say anything and walked away. His brother was asking where he was going but he didn't answer. Before he was out of Marcus’ sight, the Slytherin said one last thing, “By the way, I hope you know it was her birthday yesterday.”
Fuck. He picked up his pace and ran towards the dungeons. Halfway there, he figured that he didn't want to show up empty handed, so he made a detour to the greenhouse to 'borrow’ some flowers from Sprout’s personal garden.
You sat on one of the couches in your common room. Across from you was Adrian and Terence, arguing about some Ravenclaw girl. Some younger students passed by and whispered amongst themselves to which you didn't pay any mind to until you heard a third year say something about a Weasley being outside.
You knew it wasn't Ron because after his second year break in with Harry, he vowed that he'd never do it again. You stood up and nearly sprinted outside.
Fred was standing awkwardly outside. He tried to get a student to ask for you to come outside but they would all just scrunch their noses in disgust and keep walking. “Annoying little–”
“What are you doing here?” you asked. Your arms were crossed and you slouched your shoulders a bit. Fred noticed how your cheeks were swollen and the bags under your eyes were tinted a rosy pink. In his left hand, there was a single, large sunflower. He raised it in front of you, hoping you would accept it. “You know I’m allergic to those, right?”
Fred’s eyes bulged out. There is no way I didn't know this. Figuring he’s had enough torture, you spoke again, “I’m joking.”
“O-oh. Heh.” You grabbed the flower from him. “I’m… really sorry. I was such an arse–”
“You are an arse,” you corrected. “Yeah, you’re right. I should have trusted Flint. I should have trusted you. And if you’d let me, I want to prove that I do.”
You released a deep sigh and rubbed your forehead. “Freddie. You have to mean it this time. I can't keep going back and forth with you like this. You can't throw a fit every time I hang out with Marcus. Or Adrian. Or Terence.”
“So is that a yes?” Fred persisted. You looked at him properly in his eyes; he seemed sincere this time. And you could only hope that he was. With a nod of your head, Fred broke into smiles and picked you up from the floor and twirled you around. Your head was still sore from all the crying the night before, but you still had a smile on your face.
When he put you down, he took the hand that wasn't holding the flower and walked with you to the Great Hall for food. “So when were you going to tell me that Flint is your cousin?”
“I figured you’d find out at a family gathering or something had you waited a little longer.” He pinched your nose in response, “And you call me devious.”
requests open!
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