#why do I only nkw realise this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

straightjacket111 · 1 year

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everything just hurts alot. think about what more did she hide. for the past few months after the break up. it really hurts when u really want to work it out with ur partner. and then it js started to coming falling down due to the shit she did and everything else. i thought i was the problem. ive realised too much i wasnt. i know i did my mistakes but for her to change ?. its too hard cuz nothing can change. its tiring really. i js wish i cud give my self one last chance to her but no. i had enough. my is too weak. im already too weak. everything just starting to fall apart . everything in my life. whats in my head is what more is it shes going to do. i know daf she wil go back to dat same habit again talking to those guys flirting with them and all right after this. i definitely know that. cuz if i was really the only one. why is it so fast of her talking to all of them and layaning them and shes not even listening to what i say bout them. it wasnt the guys fault but it was her fault. her fault to fucking continue talking to them like nothing happen. why is there always other guys in every rs ive been thru. why cant i js trust like dat. why do everytime when i gave them my fully trust i get treated like this. wtf is this. its like im being taken for granted. i know this shit will continue trust me i know. i bet by tmr she will start follwing all of them and everything else. i know. talking bout so easy for me ?. not me its u. its so easy of u to talk to all of them when we trying to work it out and right after we broke up right now. is it easy for me ?no. because all i ever think is all girls are fucking the same.

i fucking knew i loved you. i fuckinf knew that i gave my all to u because ure my first love. i jusg fuckinf wish u realised sooner of what u did. u know it was wrong. u fucking knew why did u fucking continue it. why tf . do u see how much im in pain right nkw really tryinf to kill myself and everythinf else. do u know how much i feel so alone. dealing with all this shit. i never wan to be in rs with anyone because of u . are u happy bout dat ? dat u can talk to other guys but not me. u fucking knew dats why fuckinf made me like this. u fucking gaslight me. manipulate me and everything else. u fucking knew what u did wrong and now ure telling why ive changed and not like who i use to be. because of u. i let u step my head again. i really just fuckinf wish u nvr did all of rhose stuff to me but to other guys. i really just wish dat u know. because its always the same shit all over again. where they make me special and suddenly theyre treating me like this. is dat what u called love ?. if u really fucking love me u only talked to me . and only doing it with me . just me. wtf is this. im hurt not js beacuse u did dat but. because i really fucking love you. i believed in u. i did everything cud to trust u. because of the words u said by saying that im too much and everythinf else. ive changed and this is what i get. it really fucking hurt u know because i really love you. i loved you so fucking much u know. just why.

i really feel like killing myself because of how much im dissapointed and embarrased at myself. because i did everythinf i cud and i always wonder why is it that we're always fighting and everything else. because the other half not working on it too. u thought me alof. u thought me alot of how shitty girls is and how theyre all the same. i wont even go back to who i was anymore. u wont see a word. a pic. anyth else u wont see me anymore. even if i die. i know u wont care about it because ure too fucking bz with ur guys and flirting ard and fucking pillioning them. i fucking know. so if i die. just know that i died happily. because speed makes me happy.

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