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wizardlexi · 4 years

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Watery Fortress

I don't remember when this skin of mine got so paper thin

Almost translucent the way it sits Not covering up shit anymore everyone can see my twisted up insides now,

The murky dark that slithers around my pelvic floor I have always been still Water an hour after a storm Where everything is still twirling deep down but the surface The surface is a smooth mirror An unwavering force Nothing can surprise this water, me, for we've seen a million men drown here And a million men not I have always been envious of the ones who drown, and the ones who won't I have never been able to drown here, nor not I just float An ink spill in a milky lagoon And I am always sad to see someone trip and fall through my front door A startled yelp stumbles past my lips Two worlds colliding And they are always startled to see me too The questioning in their eyes Coxing me to tell them how long I've been down here I was born here I live here I've become hostess to these waters, this dark, my responsibility to get the depressed back to shore, to kiss the blackness from their lungs will them to live again But falling into depression is a never ending battle. They will carry the water in the pit of their stomach Time will turn it into background noise And I will swallow another mouthful of sea, smile, and wait for another one of my friends to fall into me The familiarity of their features like a fresh spring Nowadays my lungs been screaming at me Like they've suddenly realized that we ain't fish No matter how octopus we seem A helping hand here, There, 8 to spare To lend To soothe 8 hands to run through 8 heads of hair as they sink the wall in a swimming pool for people to kick start off of Don’t have to worry about my concrete bones crumbling from their weight I hold The levy between life and the flood When you are born from the sea you learn how to stop breathing How to make air bubbles for the ones drowning around you You see their panic The flailing of their limbs that sink them further The wetness that stains their cheeks even down here. My home, a watery fortress The hurricanes of my friends problems leaves it a mess once a week I've started to spot the differences between the salt lines left from their tears and the ones from mine

I am a nurturer before anything else

Before self love But my internal oxygen tank is getting tired

Recently, I have been flooding the floors of my loved ones with my emotions

But none of them know how to swim

#writers on tumblr #poets on tumblr #poetry #depression #water #wizardlexi

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