telltheworld-phff

[telltheworld-phff]

This story is also available in Portuguese

Esta história também está disponível em português, por favor acesse este link.

[telltheworld-phff]

Part II, chapter I: Althorp

Pain.

That’s all she could feel.

The sort of pain that would irradiate from her body and made her wonder if anyone could see it, as its force was undeniably present.

She felt nothing but pain.

She could deal with the soreness on her body. It felt as if she had run a marathon.

She could also deal with the heavy cramps that she was feeling ever since she woke up. As if she needed any reminder of what had just happened. She hadn’t asked for any medication to relieve her pain because she wanted to feel it. She wanted to be punished for what she had done.

What she couldn’t deal with was the emotional pain that had destroyed her and its relentless waves that kept shaking every single thought that crossed her mind. The waves were like a tsunami that with its violence and fast approach took away and destroyed everything it touched and she was drowning. Completely and willingly.

The waves made her remember everything that had happened a few hours ago.

The waves brought an emotional pain that shattered her dreams and hopes and wishes. Mocking her, showing the failure she had been. This earth-shattering feeling turned her world, mind, life and body upside down. She didn’t even have more tears to cry as they had dried somewhere in the middle of the night.

She was alone as she had wanted to be and surrounded only by sounds. Sound of the machine she was hooked to, sounds of the clock that showed her that time was going to pass whether or not she was ready for it, the sirens of the ambulances coming in and out of the emergency ward and the cries of a new baby that was born just down the corridor from her room. She longed to have had the chance to at least listen to her child cry. To have carried her pregnancy to term and to taste the happiness this new mom was probably feeling at the moment. And yet, here she was. Empty-handed, alone, bleeding and miserable.

She wanted to get up and run, possibly hide from everyone. Should she had the strength for it, she would have. But she could barely move a finger, let alone run.

She placed one hand on her belly. The same one she caressed the growing baby just the morning before, praying with all her might and force that everyone was lying to her. Wishing this all was a very bad joke, a tasteless prank. Everyone must be wrong.

But deep inside she knew it was true.

She knew that her body had been giving signs and she didn’t pay attention to it. She worked and travelled as if she wasn’t growing a tiny human inside her and now, funny enough, she really wasn’t anymore.

Maybe it would be for the best? If she couldn’t take proper care of a baby inside her, what would happen once the baby was born?

She would be better off alone and childless as she couldn’t bear to be responsible for anyone else’s death. She took a deep breath and felt every muscle hurt, her head was about to explode. She knew she couldn't speak as she had yelled until she scarred all of her vocal cords.

Her hands and arms were purple and swollen as she had tried to unhook herself from the blood transfer bag a nurse had hooked her to close to 2 in the morning. Her hair was in knots and her hospital gown was still bloodied.

Another proof of her failure and another brutal reminder that she had just lost her child.

She had lost her everything. She had lost her will to live because nothing else made sense anymore. Her unborn baby had become the centre of her life, her strength, her reason and her motivation.

Well, not really – her malicious mind reminded her, - if this baby was that important you wouldn’t have let it die. You didn’t even fight for it, you simply passed out and almost bled yourself to death.

Pathetic.

She would never know if the baby was a boy or a girl. She would never know if he or she would have her green eyes or Harry’s blue. If its complexion would be pale as Harry, chocolate as hers or a nice mix in the between. She didn’t know if he or she would be ginger. Could she even have a ginger baby?

She wouldn’t know its face. If it would have dimples, curly or straight hair. If it’d have the unmistakable Windsor genes or it’d be a Nogueira through and through. She wouldn’t know how is it like to feel the baby moving inside her. She wouldn’t know how labour would be or if she’d chicken out from the pain and ask for a c-section straight away. She wouldn’t know if she’d be able to breastfeed – if she’d like it or if she’d prefer to buy formulas.

She wouldn’t make her mum a grandmother.

And she wouldn’t give her man a child. The child he was expecting and dreaming about. The child he had built plans for. The child he was searching for a house to transform into a home for them.

The child he was willing to give up his title for.

Everything she got now was pain and shame and guilt and grief.

Why was it happening to her? Was she that bad of a person that this would be some sort of payback?

What makes you so important that you can’t go through something like this? Her evil-filled mind asked her.

She heard footsteps on the corridor and saw her door opening. Agnes was there, smiling. The pain she felt blinded her from seeing the truth in Agnes’ eyes. She was devastated. She knew that miscarriages were a common thing between women, but she hated every time it happened to one of her patients. With Carol, it seemed she had lost her grandchild such was the esteem she held for the brunette in front of her.

She took a tentative step towards the bed and Carol noticed it was way past nine in the morning. She had been awake the whole night.

“Good morning, Carolina.” Agnes asked, getting her file and reading the notes the other nurses had written. “How are you physically feeling?” she worded her question carefully.

Carol didn’t respond. She kept staring at the clock. Fixated on it. Hearing its tic, toc. It was comforting to know that time wouldn’t wait for her to get her shit together. And time was the only thing that she wanted now.

She would give everything she had for a moment in time to stop before she lost her child. She would give everything to have more time with the baby that even though was unplanned wasn’t not even by a single second unwanted.

She wanted to rewind time and do things differently and save her baby.

She always heard that mothers fight for their children and if need be, even give their lives for them. That was what Carol wanted to do. Be a mother to this child. Give her life in exchange for his or hers. She knew Harry would take good care of their baby even if she wasn’t around.

“Carolina?” Agnes called her, firmer this time. Carol had shut her out and not even remembered that she was in the room. She didn’t blink, she just stared at the damn clock and knew that it was laughing at her expense.

“I need you to please talk to me.” Agnes said, sitting by her side on the bed.

Carol didn’t move. She couldn’t, she was paralysed watching the clock.

“I know what you must be feeling...” Agnes said.

There it was. Pity and sympathy. Two things Carol didn’t need at that moment.

“And I want you to know that I did everything that I could to save your baby.” the doctor said, grabbing one of Carol’s hands gently.

Did she really? Her brain asked.

“I want you to tell me what you want.” Agnes tried again and Carol almost laughed. She wanted her child. Alive and well. There was nothing anyone could possibly give her at the moment that would make her feel better.

“I will give you space, then.” Agnes sighed. “A nurse will come to help you take a shower and change clothes.” she got up and stared at the girl she treated like a daughter. She seemed like a shell of the woman she once was. Staring at the clock and shutting everyone out. Agnes gently left the room and took a deep breath. She could only hope that Carol would bounce back from this. If she kept giving herself into the pain for too long, she wouldn’t make it.

(…)

Harry had spent the night awake. He sat by the window of his living room with a bottle of scotch beside him. He stared at the entrance of his house for the whole night and saw when the sun rose. He had drunk half of the bottle by that time and was irritated that it didn’t give him a buzz nor lessened the pain. He thought about compartmentalising it and go out and about on his day, as he had two engagements to be at but he knew he couldn’t do it. He wanted to feel the pain and go through it while it all was still fresh. If he bottled up everything it was bound to come back exploding in the future. He also knew that Carol wouldn’t forgive him if she saw that he was smiling for the cameras and hugging kids mere hours after theirs had died.

If she speaks to you again. His mind remembered.

He had been hurt by Carol’s outburst the night before. He tried to understand where she was coming from, but he didn’t think that she’d kick him out of the room that way. He had called the hospital and Agnes informed him Carol wasn’t speaking to anyone, or eating. She had tried to rip off the IVs from her arms and hands in the middle of the night.

He took a deep breath and texted Edward to let him know that he wanted all his engagements of that damn week cancelled and rescheduled. He also wanted to reschedule all engagements that had children involved for the upcoming months as farther away as possible. He couldn’t bear to be around children when his hadn’t made it.

Agnes had talked to him after they left Carol’s room and she was confident that Carol’s case fell under the more frequently than expected, she didn’t believe Carol had any sort of condition that would make things harder to have a child in the future. Miscarriage is something very common and sometimes it might be related to other complicating issues, but in other cases, it's simply nature being faithful to its course of only the strongest and most adaptable survives.

Edward replied asking lots of questions as to why those changes were needed and Harry simply ignored him. He wouldn’t come back to work until he felt at least a little bit better.

If you feel better at any point.

He felt like a black cloud was above his head numbing his senses and at the same time swallowing him whole.

He got up and went to his room without really thinking or registering what he was doing. He took a shower, got dressed and dried the tears that kept coming every time he thought about what had happened. He had drunk the night before trying to erase from his mind the scene of the woman of his life bleeding and losing their child.

What if he had asked her to go to Kensington, where Gerard and Martha would have kept an eye on her? What if he hadn’t offered to accompany his grandmother to the engagement, therefore, arriving earlier at her place? Why didn’t she tell him anything about blood pressure problems and migraines?

He knew that “what ifs” wouldn’t bring him any closer to changing the outcome of the events. And decided he needed to keep himself busy. Getting his car keys and without letting anyone from his security team know, he drove outside Kensington Palace straight to Carol’s apartment. He let himself in and he dreaded entering her bedroom but he knew he had to get things done and if her reaction last night was any indicator, she wouldn’t deal well if she saw all that blood.

He emailed her boss letting him know that she was in the hospital and that she would keep him posted. He grabbed all the sheets and duvet, almost ripping them off the mattress with rage and threw them inside the washing machine. He cleaned the floor, the furniture and searched inch by inch of the apartment for any spot of blood. When he found none, he made her bed with new sheets and packed her an overnight bag.

He then drove straight to the back entrance of St. Mary’s, getting out of the car and ignoring all the calls on his phone. Edward, Bill, his father… he didn’t really want to talk to anyone right now.

He went straight to the private wing where half a floor had been cleared after Harry was made aware someone had just given birth a few doors down the corridor from Carol’s room. He immediately demanded they were transferred to another wing.

He knocked on her door and opened it to find only a shadow of the woman he once had met.

She had her hair wet, soft curls forming around her face. She was half-sitting on the hospital bed and she was staring at a fixed point on the wall above the door. Harry closed the door after coming in and left the bag on the chair by the bed.

“Hey...” he said approaching her. She didn’t even move or acknowledge his presence. “I brought you a change of clothes and a few personal items. I emailed your boss saying that you’re at the hospital and that we will keep him posted.”

He waited for a reply but didn’t receive one. He tried to caress her head but she dodged his hand. Just another pain to feel. He saw she didn’t touch breakfast and that it was laying on the table across from them.

“Do you want any help to eat?” Harry tried again, looking at her. She didn’t look or talk to him. He noticed that she was staring at a clock and one could cut the tension inside that room with a knife.

“Carol, please…. Talk to me. We need to communicate to be able to grieve properly.” Harry said, sitting on the bed. “I haven’t slept the other night and for what I heard, neither have you.”

Tic, toc. Tic, toc. Tic, toc.

Only the sound of the clock could be heard there.

“Carol? I know what you’re feeling, but please, let me know what I can do to help.”

“Nothing.” her voice was cracked and hoarse and only above a whisper. But that was progress.

“I know I can’t bring our child back...” he started.

“All I want is time to go back.” She replied, looking at the clock and Harry was starting to feel irritated by that damn thing.

“I’m sorry about what happened.” Harry said, trying to grab her hand but she fiercely snatched it out from his hold.

“Don’t touch me. Why is everyone touching me now? Why is everyone bothering me with empty words of sympathy and promises when no one knows what really happened and no one can fucking give me time.” She said and he struggled to hear her well and understand what she was saying.

Both Agnes and him had stayed just outside Carol’s door for more than an hour listening to her screams, almost entering the room again every now and then to try and calm her but deciding against it.

“At least you’re talking now.” Harry said, looking at her. She looked frail and broken. Just like he was.

“I told you to get out. Just leave me the fuck alone.” She finally looked at him and he saw so much pain and hatred in her gaze that his heart broke into a million pieces yet again.

“If that’s what you want.” he got up and opened the door. “I will be back tomorrow.” he said leaving the room.

“Don’t bother” she replied not sure if he heard her.

He did.

(…)

Once inside his car, he thought about going back home to try and sleep a bit but his heart wanted him elsewhere. He wanted to grieve with Carol. He wanted her support to go through this and he wanted to support her as well.

He knew that she had taken the heavier blow on this, as she was the one carrying the baby, but she should also know that he was hurt. He was scared of losing both of them. If she was up to it, they’d start trying to have another child as soon as possible. And he knew that any child he could have with her or anyone else would never replace the one they lost.

His life had gained so much more meaning and purpose when he knew he had to be a role model for someone. That he’d get to parent his child and make him or her the best version of him and Carol together.

He just kept driving and trying to calm his shattered heart. He didn’t know where he was going or how he was driving. He turned off his phone. He didn’t want to see anybody. He didn’t want to talk to anybody. He just wanted his child alive and well.

He was startled when he recognised the black iron gates of the property. He had driven for an hour and a half without noticing where he was headed but it somehow made sense. He knew who he needed the most at the moment and unfortunately, she also wasn’t around to embrace him and promise that everything would be OK.

The guards promptly opened the gates and greeted him. For the first time, he didn’t reply and simply kept driving until he reached the stables on the background of the imposing Estate. He killed the engine and got off his car and walked the long gravel path until he approached the lake.

It was a sunny day and he put his shades on. He walked and was taken by emotion when he was right in front of it. He opened the shed, took out the small boat and pushed it until it was on the water, getting in and rowing his way to the island in the middle of the oval lake. He got out of the boat and when on land, his knees almost gave away and with trembling lips and heavy tears he approached the centre of the island where he could see, engraved in marble, the words “Loving mother”.

“Mummy,” Harry said, kneeling before her grave. “I’ve failed mummy. I couldn’t protect the people that I love and now I’ve lost them.”

He cried. Each tear made his body tremble and his lips quiver. He out-poured all the emotions held inside feeling safe to do so in that place. Feeling safe that his heart had unconsciously brought him where his mum was eternally resting.

“How do I make this pain go again, Mummy?” he cleaned his face with his palm. “It hurts so fucking much. I’ve lost my child. Your grandchild. And I think I’ve lost my girl too.”

The peaceful scenery only made it worse to balance the turmoil inside Harry’s heart and mind.

“I need you here with me.” he whispered. “But you’ve also been taken away from me too soon. Why?”

He cried his tears and his sobs were cutting through his body and shaking it. He thought he would never be able to recover from this. Never. He was a different man and now he had nothing. Absolutely nothing.

“I don’t think I can get through this.” Harry said, looking at Diana’s grave and embracing his bent knees.

He stayed there the whole afternoon. If his uncle and cousins knew that he was there, thankfully no one approached the oval island. He cried and opened his heart to his mother, knowing that she’d listen to him. Knowing that she’d be taking care of him.

When the sun began to set he knew it was time to come back.

“Mummy, could you please take care of my baby with you in heaven? I don’t know if its a boy or a girl but I don’t care. Please tell him or her that we love him so much it hurts and we wish things could’ve been different. I don’t know how his mother and I will survive this searing pain.”

Harry cleaned the tears again and spoke just above a whisper.

“We did our very best but unfortunately that wasn’t God’s wish for us. Please cuddle our child in your arms the way you did with me and Wills. Love on him as you did on us. Both of you are greatly missed. And I love you both with all my being. I know that my baby is now with his grandmother and nothing bad can happen if he’s under your watch. I love you, mummy. And I love you, baby.”

#phff #part II #chapter 1 #Whenyoutelltheworldyou'remine #princeharryff #princeharryfanfic #princeharryfanfiction #britishroyal #british royal family #brf #fanfiction

[telltheworld-phff]

Part II - Disclaimer

Dear readers,

I thank you for supporting me with this story ever since the beginning! It really means a lot.

Before we get to the new chapter which I assume you're eager to read, lest's cover some things first, shall we?

- The story will start immediately after Carol's miscarriage in chapter 50 part I. If you haven't read that, I advise you do to so.

- Whilst part I covered the path until they became a couple, Carol's background, family and love life, part II will focus on their path to remain a couple (if they'll get to that).

- I tried to bring as many emotions and feelings as possible. This will likely mean longer chapters.

- We will see more Interaction with other members of the Royal family.

- I will always try to keep Carol as your next door girl who's living a dream life (not her dream life 100% of the time, mind you) most of the time. We all know she'd prefer if Harry wasn't a prince.

- Will they be able to fight all odds? Will the pressure of the court, protocols and the Firm break them apart? Will the members of Harry's family that won't like her be strong enough to build a case against her? How will she deal with the press?

Lots of questions to be answered and there might be one or two of you who are curious about them, aren't there?

So, buckle up and let's dive right in...

Yours truly,

Andreza

[telltheworld-phff]

TELL THE WORLD - PHFF @telltheworld-phff

Carolina and Harry lived in two different worlds. But somehow they were more alike than most people would bet on. That's the story of their journey, together they face all the drama and heartache and prejudice people throw at them. Up until they show that their love is the most important thing and that love is what really matters. That's a history of standing up for the person you love and fighting for what you believe in.

Carolina as Ildi Silva

[telltheworld-phff]

Chapter 50: Te puedo escuchar

AUTHOR NOTE: This chapter was based on the song by Anahi called "The puedo escuchar” that means “I can hear you”.

This chapter might also contain some subjects that might be a trigger for some.

---

To say that Carol's humour was getting better and better by each passing day was the understatement of the year. As the second trimester was looming just a few days away, Harry was getting his girlfriend back.

And actually enjoying her pregnancy.

The love they felt for their unborn child was the strongest experience both had felt in their lives and they knew that they were a team from now on and compromised to be the best possible parents they could be.

They were conversing a lot about their dreams for their child. Harry wanted a girl desperately and Carol felt it was a boy... and they decided to find out when the baby was born.

They were talking about names and Carol was set to name him Henry (should it be a boy) and Harry wanted to name her Carolina (should it be a girl). Carol had gone shopping for maternity clothing as her bump was now impeding all her trousers to close and her breasts were getting bigger. She thought about buying some baby clothing as well, but she had promised Harry that they'd do the first shopping together (at least for the first items and the most important things).

As marriage wasn't on their foreseeable future, this baby wouldn't have a place in the line of succession.

And after many conversations, they decided it'd be better to keep it this way. Of course, they knew that most ghastly people would call their child a bastard but if it meant that no strings would be attached to this kid's future, they'd be game. Even if (and that's a big if) they decided to get married before the birth, the child wouldn't have any royal titles.

Harry had already asked his Grandmother for a private appointment in two weeks and decided to go by himself. The plan was: tell the Queen privately, then his father and then his brother. He knew that afterwards the Queen would request a private meeting with Carol before she let the courtiers know.

They had their speech known by heart and decided what was non-negotiable for them and what they'd be willing to accept should The Crown request. And Harry was counting on his grandmother managing skills to be sensible and understanding and not imposing things that'd make their lives really complicated. They'd show up as a united front and both against the protocols and rules of Harry's family.

Harry was asking Carol to take it slow at work... she was still practically living at the office – as always - and he understood why but now she had a whole team to manage, whose job was to back her up so she needn't to stay there more than eight hours a day.

She didn't really pay attention to his pleas... thinking that he wasn't used to working mums... lots of women did it every day and she wasn't really doing things that'd put their baby at risk. In order to avoid a fight, she'd always give evasive responses to him.

Except today she wasn't feeling well ever since she woke up at Kensington Palace where she had spent the night before. They had gone out to have dinner – thankfully still not spotted – and had amazing sex afterwards. She woke up feeling extremely tired and with a terrible headache. Dismissing it as some of the not-so-nice symptoms, she got ready for the day and left before Harry woke up, Bill driving her to work.

She texted Agnes asking what she could take for the headache and got a quick response of:

A: Headache again? That's the third time this week. I am changing your appointment to tomorrow morning just in case.

Not wanting Harry to get worried, she just texted him the new date and time for next appointment without giving him many details as to why they were anticipating it. She took lots of water and worked at a dimmed office until noon. She tried to remember how she had spent the week before and couldn't remember a day where she didn't feel like she had been run over by a truck or in ache.

She finally saw Harry's point as to why she should start working regular hours instead of the 14-16 she was usually working. Giving up on working at the office and taking into consideration it was Friday, she just let her boss and team know she would be working from home and would be back next Monday.

She took a cab not wanting to bother Bill to come and get her and let Harry know that she was going home and that he should stop by in the evening so they could be together. He was at an engagement and took a while to reply and when he did, was something like: "Will be there. x"

She arrived at home just past 1:00 pm and took another long shower. She applied lotion on her body and took a picture to register how her bump was showing today. She picked her favourite pyjamas of white shirt and shorts from the dryer and got dressed. Quickly fixing something to eat afterwards.

After she ate, she went to her bedroom and sat half leaning on bed board with her laptop on searching for a last-minute flight ticket to Brazil that wouldn't cost her a fortune. She couldn't tell her mother she was pregnant by the phone or video call. Although she knew Maria would be disappointed, she wanted to look into her mother's eyes and say it.

Perhaps, after the initial shock diminished, she'd be able to ask her mom for advice and they'd book Maria's tickets to come and stay with Carol (wherever she'd be living at the time) at the end of pregnancy and first weeks with the baby. She couldn't do it without her mother and she wouldn't.

Caressing her bump, while waiting for emails to come in so she could finalise a few reports and reschedule meetings, she was also reading pregnancy forums about when she could expect to feel the baby move for the first time. She was 11 weeks and 6 days today and was wondering how long it'd take until she could feel the first movements.

She didn't know when and how she fell asleep, she only slightly remembered that her migraine had gotten the best of her. She half woke up with Harry's voice calling her and the noise of his keys locking the door.

She tried to get up and greet him, but she couldn't. She tried to move and her brain only registered pain and still, she didn't have the strength to call for him or wonder why she was feeling this way. It was like her consciousness was coming and going all the time and she couldn't quite grasp the sense of fear. She only wanted to close her eyes and sleep some more.

"Darling?" he called cheerily and she was so very sleepy still that she didn't respond. She had this uneasy feeling on her bump and her eyelids were too heavy to keep open.

She heard when he entered her bedroom and felt his perfume. She smiled at the sound of his teasing.

"Now that's a good life... napping since mid-afternoon." he said, supporting his fists on either side of her body and kissing her temple. "Are you hungry?"

"A little..." she mumbled, her voice weak. Harry took off his jacket and tie and started telling her how the engagements of the day had gone and noticed that she was extremely quiet and sort of unresponsive.

"Carol?" he called for her, sitting by her side on the bed. She didn't reply.

Thinking it was odd, he called her again with no response. He almost left the room assuming she was just tired and needed to sleep a few more hours and determined to get their dinner ordered, he got up and he was taken by a feeling of warning and stopped in the middle of the room.

TRIGGER WARNING:

Dreading it, he turned on the light and the scene before his eyes hurt more than a punch in the gut. He felt all air vanishing from his lungs, the walls closing in, his heart breaking into a million pieces and for a few seconds, he didn't know what to do. He just couldn't afford to not do anything.

He realised Carol wasn't sleeping, she had probably passed out.

Her laptop was still on the bed and she was laying on a fetal position. He approached her, checking her pulse. Her blood pressure was obviously low as she was pale and unresponsive, but what had Harry scared for life was the giant vivid red spot on her white shorts and on the duvet. She had some dried stains on her legs as well.

"No, no, no, no..." he was on the brink of losing it but he had to something. "Carol, wake up. Please, Carol. Wake up." He was gently shaking her and caressing her face.

A little blood is normal, isn't it?

That's not a little, his mind replied.

"Carol... Carol... CAROL!" he yelled, his eyes burning with unshed tears. "Wake up, Carolina!"

He got his phone calling Agnes right away, not knowing what to do.

"Hello, Harry..." Agnes said, immediately thinking he was calling to ask why she had scheduled an appointment on a Saturday.

"Agnes, Carol's bleeding. Like... a lot." he said, making sure her body was turned on her left side, should she puke. "I just got here, Agnes and I don't know what to do. I think she fainted and she's not waking up."

"Get her to St Mary's. NOW!" Agnes said. She was about to leave for the day and went back into her office and changed clothes, already shouting orders and forming a team of nurses to prepare secured a room as an emergency was coming in. She promptly got Carol's file and read it all again, everything was as normal as it should be, except for the excessive tiredness and the headaches.

Without needing to be told twice, Harry got Carol's wallet and checked for her ID and health insurance details. He got her phone and grabbed a coat for her to use later. He was trying to convince himself that this was just a scare and that they'd be back home later.

He called for Bill who was waiting for him outside the flat and as carefully as he could he lifted her from the bed, getting himself stained as well, but he didn't care. He needed to save his girl and their child. Running with her through the steps as it'd be faster than the lift, Bill widened his eyes when he saw Harry leaving the building with Carol.

"St Mary's!" Harry yelled placing Carol on the back seat and jumping on the front seat. Bill had the car in motion before Harry even closed the door. Now worried as to why Carol was bleeding, but knowing this was not the right time to ask anything.

Normally it'd take 11 minutes from Carol's to St. Mary's, which Bill drove in almost 5, breaking an endless number of traffic laws. He parked at the back entrance and Harry was out in a flash, scooping Carol on his arms and trying to wake her up again whilst climbing the stairs of the Maternity wing.

He heard Agnes before he saw her, she was pacing the reception and she pointed to a room closing the door behind them. Harry put Carol on the bed and was out of the way when Agnes started to carefully and quickly examine Carol's condition.

There were three nurses in the room that were doing things at full speed by Agnes' orders. He saw how quickly they'd had hooked an IV of fluids on her hand and meanwhile the other was preparing the meds.

Harry was half relieved that she hadn't asked him to get out – everyone knew he'd be spotted and they shouldn't have added stress on this situation. At the same time, he felt so powerless watching other people taking care of the woman he loved without him being able to do anything else but stay away and let them work. He stayed on the corner of the room, and let them know many times that if they needed help, he was there to see to it.

Agnes then started the ultrasound machine, cleaning as best as she could all the blood to see the baby. She positioned Carol's legs and got the trans-vaginal stick and the now-familiar for him black screen appeared over her head. Harry was watching closely, hoping and praying for the best. He knew that the circumstances weren't favourable, but they were strong. They'd get past this and this would be just a scare.

He was looking at the screen with everything in him asking for his baby to be OK. There was the embryo and he saw Agnes pressing lots of buttons and her face getting more and more concerned by the minute. She re-positioned the stick and tried again, asking something from one of the nurses.

"Is everything alright?" Harry asked. "I can see the embryo. Is it alright?" he had hope in his eyes, he knew it was going to be ok.

"I'm sorry, Harry." Agnes said. "There's no longer a heartbeat."

"You left without notice / I looked for you and you weren't there anymore"

The room went silent for a minute that felt like an eternity.

"Are you sure?" Harry said looking from Carol to Agnes and the screen. "Have you looked closely? You always say sometimes it's difficult to catch a heartbeat."

"Fate wanted it that way / But your soul won't leave"

"At the beginning, yes. But she was almost on her twelfth week. This should be easy to catch."

"It can't be, Agnes. We had an appointment tomorrow. You said everything was fine. Why isn't she waking up?" Harry was clearly nervous and had a million thoughts crossing his mind.

Agnes powered off the ultrasound, scribbled something on a paper and asked the nurses to do something and went to Harry.

"I was seeing the embryo... How come?" Harry asked.

"Unfortunately that is not the embryo. That's some residual tissue of the pregnancy." Agnes took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Harry. But Carol has miscarried the baby."

"You were my accomplice in dreams / We knew that one day / United we would fly"

Harry's world went completely still. This couldn't be happening right now.

The tears started to fall before he could hold them in. He looked at Carol, still pale, hooked to IV and with nurses around her and that unmistakable stain on his shirt, arms, trousers told him that this was really happening.

He couldn't keep his family safe.

He had failed them and this pain was shattering his whole being. He had just lost his child and he didn't know what to do about it. He never properly learned how to mourn and grieve.

Losing his mum and grandpa had been fucking hard and horrible but nothing would ever be compared to the searing pain of losing a child.

"I know your wings will stay with me / That from Heaven your hug is my shelter / divine angel take care of me from evil"

His child, his baby.

The one he had made plans for. The one he wanted to hold on his arms and teach things.

The one that had turned his world upside down.

Gone.

He no longer would be a father.

"I know I walk with your company / With your voice my days are brightened / Although your door today is beyond / I can hear you"

The sound of his sob took over the room and Agnes hugged him. He cried and sobbed not caring for a single moment of who was there. Not caring that he was a prince and member of the Royal Family. Not caring he had been taught to always hide his feeling. At that moment he was just a father who had lost his child.

"I'm sorry, Harry." Agnes said, trying her best to support him as she knew that not many people were aware of the pregnancy and that they probably wouldn't have a shoulder to cry on.

"Why?"

"I can't answer that now, but I will ask for some exams to be made and try to correlate with the symptoms she was complaining about, but you should know that this is more common than you think. Most of the time we don't have any factor showing us as to why. Sometimes its just nature taking its course."

He was out of the embrace and thanked Agnes, without really knowing what or why he was thanking her for.

"I will have to intervene with medication so we can finish this process as quickly and respectfully as we can. Also so we can guarantee that we won't have any damage to her uterus and that pain will be minimal."

"Why hasn't she woken up?" he asked, voice filled with sadness.

"I remember you very close to me / Sharing your peace / So much joy it was to see you / I won't forget to love you / I still have tears"

"She probably had a case of irregular blood pressure variation during the day. Apparently it went too high and too low in a matter of hours – so her body, to try and estabilize it, kind of shut down. Now I've just given her something to keep her asleep, so we can finish the process."

Agnes gave a gentle squeeze on Harry's hand and apologising went back to work.

He sat on a chair and watched, letting the numbness of the pain take over him. Tears were flowing freely and he didn't want to leave her side for a second. If Carol would have to endure all of this, he might as well be by her side and watch. He didn't care about the fact that he was torturing himself to sit back and watch the woman he loved in that situation. But he didn't want her to wake up alone at a hospital without knowing their child had died.

"Your name is written in every book / In each verse I feel you sing / Your hand takes me directly to your shadow / And I know that one night I will find you"

(...)

"Harry?" Carol's voice was hoarse and weak.

He jumped out of the sofa he was laying on her private suite and went to her side. He held her hands.

"I'm here, my love." he said, kissing her temple and breathing relieved for the first time after they had been admitted to the hospital.

"Where am I?" she asked looking around and focusing on his eyes. She saw nothing but pain and fear there and those feelings took over.

"We're in the hospital, darling." He replied, sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Hospital, why?" she asked. "What's going on, Harry?"

"What do you remember?"

"I was home working and with a migraine and then everything went black. I remember some flashes of pain and your voice..." Carol looked at him. "Harry, please, tell me what's wrong. Is our baby ok?"

He took a deep breath and couldn't find the words in him to answer that question. From now on he'd need to be her rock and her safe place and he knew it, but his heart was broken and he was about to break hers. New tears formed on his eyes and he shook his head.

"NO, NO, NO, NO...." she was scared and shocked. "WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR BABY. PLEASE THIS ISN'T FUNNY."

"Darling..." Harry hugged her. "I'm sorry, my love."

"Sorry about what, Henry?" she untangled herself from his embrace. "What happened with our baby? Why are you making this up?"

"Carol..." Harry said crying. "Our baby passed away this evening. We had a miscarriage."

"Nooooooooooooooooo" Carol's cries and shriek brought a cold feeling to Harry's gut. "YOU'RE LYING. IT. CAN'T. BE."

She put her hand on her belly, feeling it way different than this morning, looking the to the IV hooked on her hand, her hospital gown.

"Maybe they're wrong. I am still pregnant. I know it, Harry. Stop making this prank... it's not fun." Carol said and Harry shook his head again, showing her that this wasn't a nightmare. This was the cruel reality and he wouldn't dare to joke on something like this.

"Why?" she was full-on sobbing whilst the truth and the weight of his words were slowly cutting through her heart and mind and body. She was sore, the damn headache still in place. Her stomach had somewhat deflated and she was determined to not believe in his words.

"We don't know for sure, but it happened. I arrived at your place and you were passed out." Harry said, trying to touch her hand.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" she screamed and her sobs now louder and she was trashing on the bed to get as far from his as possible. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU, HARRY. HOW DARE YOU TO TELL ME MY BABY HAS DIED!!"

Agnes entered the room at that moment, having heard Carol's voice three corridors down and knowing this wouldn't be easy.

"Carol, please try to calm down. You're still weak and need your rest."

The doctor checked her signals on the machine nearby and approached the bed, caressing Carol's head and kissing the top of it.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. But we did everything in our power to save your baby, but we couldn't. If Harry hadn't brought you here as soon as he did, you'd have left us as well."

"You're both lying... my baby is fine and healthy."

Carol said trying desperately to hold on on that thread of hope. She couldn't have her biggest dream and world come tumbling down like this. They must be lying about it, making this sick prank about her.

"Darling, I'm really sorry...." Harry tried to hold her hand, but she didn't let him, which saddened him even more. "Our baby is now our guardian angel."

She started trembling, lips quivering and looking at both of them and their tired faces. She looked up to see a clock on the wall and registered the time of when the worst news to any parents had been delivered to her.

Her dream baby had slipped through her fingers, she no longer was a mother and she clearly shouldn't keep her hopes up about trying again because she knew she'd fail. Her body clearly wasn't up for the challenge of growing a human from scratch and she had crushed Harry's dream and Harry's life. Her heart knew that something was wrong but she dismissed it for the past days. It was her fault that she had lost that baby and she'd never forgive herself for it.

"Leave me alone." she said, between sobs.

Harry and Agnes shared a confused look and didn't move.

"LEAVE ME ALONE." she screamed, throwing one of the pillows at them and kept screaming after that.

Carol was heartbroken and clearly grieving, shocked, guilty and confused. Lot's of pieces haven't made it to its place in the puzzle and she was clearly shutting down and wanting to be alone.

And at that moment, Carol was everything Harry wanted and needed, but to respect her wishes and lest Agnes needed to give her some sedatives, he simply nodded and left the room.

"I will be back in the morning." Harry said crying and holding the door. "We will get through this Carol. Please don't shut me out cause I won't survive this pain if you do. Neither will you."

Carol looked at him while angry tears rolled down her cheeks and wet her hospital gown.

"GET OUT!"

"I love you." Harry said, leaving the room and closing the door.

End of Part I

Author Note:

Please, don't kill me because of this chapter. This and the next ones were the hardest I've ever wrote. I cried my eyes out doing that, but it was... necessary.

To my dear and beloved readers my warmest thank you for sticking with me, for liking my babies as much as I do. Thank you for reading, commenting, voting and for all the suggestions that are always welcomed.

My biggest concern on this story is, even though I sometimes use a poetic license, bring as many real places, people, assets and elements. I want this to be a story you, the reader, can identify yourself with and recognise the royal family's modus operandi.

I want this to be a relatable story, one that you read and say: mmm... this could've happened and not one of 100% make-believe stories that although entertaining, don't make you relate to that.

That's why I take too long to write and why I sometimes have serious cases of writer's block. I do my research, I watch tons of videos and documentaries, I see lots of photos (and even blueprints of the palaces sometimes!). When I went to London last year I visited many of the places that I write about here.

The work is though, but the reward is great.

This story will be split into three parts (I might change this in the future, and if so I'll let you know."

Part I tells us how they met, became friends, how the spark appeared and how they started dating.

Parti II will be posted continually after this chapter (I'll probably do an intro and then skip to chapter I). We'll see all the mourning process, self awareness, priorities and overcome. They are pretty strong, but will they be able to survive this pain?

Only time will tell...

#Prince Harry #Prince Harry Fanfic #Prince Harry Fanfiction #British Royal Family #brf #when you tell the world you're mine #chapter: 50 #Royal Fanfic #phff #Royal Fanfiction #Anahi

[telltheworld-phff]

Chapter 49: Atrévete a soñar

Harry hadn’t anticipated that his girlfriend pregnancy would be hard for him as well. He didn’t want to use this card as he knew that a million thoughts were crossing Carol’s mind, and she might or might not have had the time to go over them and come to terms herself of this big life changing moment of their lives due to her completely packed work schedule... and she was the one growing a tiny human from scratch. It was her body handling all the changes that came with it.

He had made a promise that he’d do everything he possibly could to make everything as comfortable as possible for her. She wouldn’t be in need of anything on his watch; he made sure to keep her refrigerator full of healthy food and lots of snacks that she could pack and take to the office with her – sometimes going to the store himself -, he had asked one of his drivers to be alert to any calls or texts from Carol, as he was now on duty to use Harry’s private car to take her to and from work. She was getting nauseous when using the tube and he promptly suggested this new arrangement – which surprisingly, she had accepted without a fight.

He also made sure he was present on her daily life. Calling every day that they were apart and stopping by her place every other day. Sometimes she’d ask him to stay and sometimes she didn’t. Harry didn’t mind all the work to keep the ball rolling on his duty and job and to take care of his girlfriend and baby, nothing was as hard as to deal with Carol nowadays.

She was picking fights on the silliest stuff and that was driving him completely bonkers. He didn’t seem to win no matter what he tried and that besides being frustrating as fuck, also was tiring and annoying. He had to remember that she wasn’t like this all the time nor she would be after the baby was out, but the Prince was seriously considering that this baby would be their one and only child.

For the time being, he had nothing to do but get used to Carol’s mood swings by each passing day. Every day was a surprise where he didn’t know which Carol he’d get. The sweet one, the teary-eyed one, the bitch one or the wicked witch of the west one. He couldn’t deny that sometimes it was difficult as fuck to keep up with her snappy and bitchy attitude for no reason whatsoever.

The cycle seemed to be: she’d bitch him and then start crying because she didn’t really mean it. Or whenever he did something good for her (God forbid he sent flowers to her office just because!), she’d say that he was way too overbearing and fussy.

“Women get pregnant every day and everywhere in the world without your suffocating habits and they end up just fine without your overwhelming concern and need to keep me under your watch all the time.” she had said once.

Just to start crying right after and say that lots of women also yearned for their partner’s support and most didn’t have it at all during the pregnancy. And that he was just by her side, by choice, taking care of them. Loving and cherishing them, regardless of this being an unplanned pregnancy and that she was a heartless and mean bitch while he had all the best intentions on his heart.

Needless to say the couple were arguing more now than ever and most of the time Harry would take the blame or excuse himself out of the room to take a deep breath and to remember that his Carol wasn’t like this.

It also felt very weird to argue with an overly emotional pregnant lady.

He tried to remember that this was just a very hormonal version of the woman he loved. Also a test to see if what he felt for her would come out stronger after this trying time. It’s easy to love someone when everything is fine, but true love is proved when the wind is blowing hard and you have not choice but hold onto each other to make sure you (and her) are safe.

He knew that she was stressed with her Masters degree, still keeping top grades whilst having a full time job and working a scary amount of hours every week (which he had already asked her to take it a little bit slow) and also travelling with her project.

He did want her to take a break and take it easy. If it was up to him, Carol would spend her days resting and sleeping to her heart’s content – as she always complained about how sleepy and tired she felt – but wouldn’t dare to even think about suggesting about quitting her job. She’d throw a massive fit and say that she would keep earning her own money as she didn’t need or want his thank you very much.

Some days, and those were rare, Harry was lucky enough to get glimpses of his girlfriend – and that’s what helped to take a relieved breath: knowing somewhere deep down that ugly surface was his sweet and loving girlfriend.

She usually would ask for very weird combinations of food – which he’d always go fetch for her; and have an insatiable sex drive — that he’d be more than happy oblige; and apologize non-stop for being a bitch on steroids to him.

He would forgive her – of course, as there wasn’t anything to really forgive her for - and they would get to chat and try to plan their future as her bump would only grow from now on and they needed to strengthen their relationship and become a real team to face, first and foremost, their parents and then the Institution Harry belonged to.

“What do you want to do?” Harry asked in one of the few blissful nights where they hadn’t argued over meaningless things. They were relaxing on his bed, after an afternoon full of amazing sex that left both of them exhausted. He was lying on his back and had his hands leisurely caressing her thighs.

“Obviously I want you around and to keep the baby.” she was eating ice cream straight from the box. “The big question is: what can we do?”

“Well… I don’t even know what our options really are. Everything I think I know is just wishful thinking. We would need to face a meeting with the Firm and its minions to know for sure. I know that my father and grandmother will demand a wedding.” he side-looked at her, half expecting to have a flying spoon over his head.

“I really don’t want to get married on these circumstances.” she replied and he waited for her to finish. “I do want to get married someday but not just because you knocked me up. It’s the 21st century after all.”

“Although I am part of and represent an Institution that is stuck ten centuries behind. But never mind.”

They both laughed at that.

“I will ask permission for you to move in with me. Don’t think gran will oppose much to that as Kate and Will did it. Before you start your feminist rant...” he laughingly cut her speech, knowing that she’d come up with something to refute. “I know that you love your flat and that it is comfortable enough for the two of you and that you can pay all the bills with money to spare but...” he pecked her lips, to distract her – lest she started to yell at him after a perfect day - and stole some of her vanilla ice cream, making sure to avoid the weird toppings she added in there. “It’s not safe. For any of us. And if we would try and make it safe, it’d cost way more than renting a moving truck and a storage unit for your things as obviously we don’t need new furniture here, except for baby things.”

He could actually hear her mind running wild with thoughts and ways to refuse his offer.

“At Kensington we already have the privacy, the security system, bullet-proof windows, armored cars and 24/7 people on call whenever he or she starts screaming in the middle of the night and we need a rest.”

She smacked his shoulder playfully.

“But…” he continued. “If Gran says we can’t stay here, then I would gladly buy us a house. And pay for the security system and features.”

“You’re insane.” she stated.

“Why you say that?” he was confused.

“Buying a house just for this...”

“”This” Carolina” - he pointed his finger between them to emphasize his point - “is my family and I very much intend to be close by even though you seem to not stand to look at me for more than a few seconds these days. You would help me choose somewhere suitable for us, that has everything we need, and then we would move in together and not marry right away as it seems to be your desire.”

“Why do I sense there are other options that you’re hiding from me?”

“Well… The options of what we will be advised to do are endless. If we start playing “what ifs” and imagining scenarios that might be presented to us, we’d be here all night. There are, though, some options that stand out from these possibilities… For example: I might have to renounce my title.”

She had a shocked expression on her face.

“Says that Pa and Gran demand a wedding and we say that we don’t want to marry under pressure. We might be denied the request of you moving in. So then I’d need to move out and with that – no wedding, kicked out – the press will have a field day, change the public’s view on me and as I’d just be the prince who tarnished the name of the family, again mind you…” he laughed and continued. “Thank heavens Will and Kate have already two children to claim the throne and out goes Harry.” he joked.

“I’m sorry.” she said, already drying the tears after what he said.

He talked about it as if it was a joke but being part of royalty were what made Harry who he was. Give up on it because of her wishes was a very hard thing to do. She considered in that moment if she shouldn’t let go of her stubbornness and just get married so he’d get to keep everything that was rightfully his.

“In that scenario our child wouldn’t have a place in the succession line. We would have more freedom. This part is what I like the most of this option.”

“What do you want to do?” she asked him sincerely.

“Honestly I’d like to marry you. Pressure or not, if you were up to it we would go to the town hall tomorrow.” he waited until the shocked expression on her face faded. “We could live somewhere else than Kensington – don’t care much for that part. I don’t want our children to have titles. it’s a fucking burden to bear, but he or she will be upgraded to prince or princess whenever father is King anyway.”

“Do you think our marriage would work? I personally don’t think I’d be able to face a divorce. I want all of ‘until death us do part’.” she finished the ice cream and left the empty box on Harry’s bedside table and turned to look at him.

“Of course it would…” she looked at him pointedly and asked him to think with his mind and not heart. “Ok… thank you for the reality check. I think that we are very good to and for each other. Relationship is something you build and take care of each day. As long as we’re both committed to our success, I do believe we could go forever. We’re both children from divorced parents and I think we agree that we wouldn’t want that for our children. But also we wouldn’t want an unhealthy environment for them to grow up at, just like we did. So if it came to a point where our relationship became toxic, we would need to separate our ways.”

“That’s a more sensible response Mr. Wales.” she pecked his lips again.

“I don’t think it’s healthy for us to keep guessing what might happen. It’s way too many options. It’ll drive us crazy... I would rather think and chose something that is actually given to us to think about.”

“Do you think you can have an appointment with The Queen after my 12th week milestone?” she was biting her lips as a nervous trait.

“I shall see to it.” he answered.

“Then we will be presented with options and decide what’s best for our family.”

“Ok...” he helped her to lie down. She was wearing one of his pajamas shirts and her ten-week bump showing. He caressed it and then placed a soft kiss on it.

“I do want to tell my mom first. Can we?”

“We can do whatever you want, darling.”

“So after we pass that milestone, I will call her and then we will sit with The Queen to discuss.”

“In the meantime I will do my best to keep you hidden.” he said.

“Which won’t work as we have Tommy’s Christening to attend.” she laughed.

“And are you OK with that?” he was still caressing her bump. “I know that you want to go, but don’t you think it’d be better if you stayed home? Or maybe just attended the reception afterwards? There’s a great chance of being spotted. Are you ready for it? Your life as you know it will be forever changed… and for that I am deeply sorry.”

“Well… I don’t want to miss it and sooner or later I will be spotted. We won’t arrive together or sit together during the service. But I do think the press will put 1+1 together and link me to all other photos… As I will be the only unknown person there. And I know what I’ve signed up for upon agreeing to be your girlfriend and carrying your child. No one will ever be ready for that. And I will need to rely on you a lot.” she sighed.

(…)

Carol had asked Hailey to design something for as she had no idea what to wear on a Christening. She had been flattered when Lara had sent an invitation that said “Honorary godmother” for her, she truly wasn’t expecting an invitation to such an intimate and formal event. 

She was at her sister’s studio – which was a spare room at her house – surrounded by lots of fabrics, sketches, pictures and at least three sewing machines. This was the last fitting of the pink dress Hailey had said would work for a morning event.

“You really should stop eating junk food Carolina.” Hailey said when noticed that the dress wasn’t closing as smoothly as it was three weeks before. “You’re getting chubby.”

Concentrating on not laughing or spilling the beans, she simply nodded.

“Thank goodness the Christening is in two days or I’d have to loosen up this dress, again.” Hailey said clearly irritated. “Never show up on time on fitting days and when you do show up, you’ve gained weight. Good Lord.” she mumbled to herself and when finished, she let Carol look at herself in the mirror.

She was in awe. Even barefoot, without her hair done and make up-free she was feeling pretty. Which was a first ever since she learned she was carrying her bundle of joy. The dress had 7/8 sleeves, the front had a draped finish and the skirt that ended just above her knees was made of feathers in the same colour.

“It’s amazing, Hailey. Thank you” Carol said turning around to see. “I think I want you designing my whole wardrobe.”

“Let’s not get carried away, shall we?” Hailey joked. “Now you just need shoes and accessories. Please don’t ruin my creation.” 

“I might stop by at Harrod’s later and see if I can find anything.”

“Maybe go with a big hat to cover your face?” her sister offered knowing that Carol would have her life turned upside down any moment now.

“That’s exactly what I am going for.”

(…)

Carol had asked for a day off on Friday before the christening and packed everything she was going to need for the weekend affair. All godparents (Harry, Skippy’s sister Victoria, Lara’s brother Henry, Eugenie and Jake Warren) were to check in at the luxurious Luton Hoo Hotel for a welcome luncheon and to rehearse (Carol didn’t understand why a Christening would need a rehearsal but didn’t comment on it). Then the other guests would arrive on Saturday at noon for the Service and then attend a brunch afterwards. The godparents were expected to stay at the hotel and enjoy it’s spa, checking out only on Sunday evening after a thank you dinner.

Carol had to pack way too many outfits and right now she was fitting well into only half of her clothes because of her bump. She was accompanying Harry for the three day stay as per Lara’s request. The brunette had bought a small golden bracelet with Tommy’s name engraved as a gift and hoped his parents would like it.

Harry asked Bill to carry Carol’s luggage to the waiting car while he kissed his girlfriend and – when he checked they were truly alone - her bump.

“You both ready to go?” he asked.

“Yes! I need to see that little red headed cherub!” she said happily.

They went to the car, both sitting on the back seats, buckling up and talking animatedly about the party and Harry explaining what was expected of her. This was Carol’s first formal encounter with people he had known his whole life. Most of them were daughters and sons of his parents’ friends and they all have been a tight knit group ever since they were born. 

Skippy and Lara had opted for a small gathering of closest family members and a few selected friends – Carol was so relieved about it, she didn’t think she’d be able to face a big gathering right now. Thankfully she knew some of the guests that would likely attend as she didn’t want to be left alone while Harry was on godfather duty.

“So Eugenie is coming?” she asked.

“Yes… She’s also a godmother, remember?” he replied.

“Oh thank God. I think I only know her and Jack and Jake and Zoe. Are you sure Arthur and Alessandra are not attending?”

“Yes. Alessandra had to do something in California and Arthur went with her.” he traced the worry lines on her forehead. “Don’t stress too much, Carol. I will be by your side most of the time.”

“I know… it’s just…” she started and he waited. “Nevermind.”

“What is it darling?” Harry said holding her hand.

“I can’t help but feel inadequate to attend such an event.”

“It’s the Christening of your friends’ kid. How on earth can you be inadequate?” he was confused.

“Said friends are aristocrats, barons and baronesses... Close enough to the monarchy… and I’m… I’m just… me.” she said, not looking at him.

“Carol, trust me. Your accomplishments are way greater than what any of us will ever have. You fought your way through life to get to where you are now. We all just had it all handed to us on silver spoons, quite literally. If not actually handed, doors were opened because of connections and surnames.” he kissed her temple. “Also, if anyone think any less of you, it’s their loss. You did point out a few days ago that we’re on the 21st century after all.”

“Hopefully I won’t embarrass you. I don’t know a single thing about etiquette.” she said, biting her lower lip.

“I’ve done my share of embarrassment enough. Nothing you do will ever beat my Vegas trip. Don’t worry. If anyone treats you badly, let me know. Or just go find a familiar face to chat, Ok?”

“Ok. Thank you.”

“You’ve got it. Just keep your charming self and you’ll be fine.” he added kissing her knuckles.

She admired the change in the scenery as they left busy central London to the countryside on their way to Luton. Carol was still feeling uneasy, but decided to have some water to try and calm her stomach. Being driven on the “wrong” side of the road still scared her and she was trying to believe in what Harry had said and not what her mind was shouting at her.

The hotel was a newly renewed manor and it’s perfect tended lawn and lakes were quite imposing. Harry offered his hand to help her out of the car and they went to the lobby to check-in. He usually asked Bill to do it, but wanted to give some sense of normalcy to his girlfriend, so decided to do it himself. He obviously understood that Carol knew who he was and knew that he had some privileges and hadn’t to bother with some tasks as everything he could possible need would’ve been taken care of in a matter of seconds.

He also didn’t want to scare her away – or let her think that he was incapable of doing things for himself. He wanted to tone it down a bit, and let her see that they could mix her humble upbringing with his luxurious and privileged one. He was set to make an effort and be more hands-on on tasks that the rest of the world did on a daily basis.

“The rest of the world don’t go to a 5 start hotel for the weekend.” he thought to himself, shaking his head, while signing the paper the receptionist gave to him.

She couldn’t help but notice the clear shift on the staff behaviour when they spotted Harry. They all bowed or curtsied to him, all of them curious – but obviously not asking – as to who she was. Harry intertwined their fingers while he spoke to the attendant at the lobby, to reassure her. Bill and the other bodyguards appearing just seconds later with their luggage and attentively looking around the seemingly empty lobby.

Apparently they had a paparazzi free travel and he was thankful for that. Harry had booked the mansion state suite for them, which was bigger than her whole apartment. Their California king bed was so inviting and she wanted to take a nap so badly but knew that she couldn’t. As she was travelling comfortable – another reason to have been looked upon by the staff -, she knew that she’d have to change for the luncheon.

Soon, some of the hotel staff was unpacking their luggage and organizing everything in the walk in closet in full speed. She didn’t even have the time to ask them to leave it – as fast as they came, they were gone.

Harry was on his phone and she didn’t want to listen to his conversation, opting to go to the bathroom for a quick shower to help her to stay awake. It might have been the car movement that had her so sleepy. The bath robe available was so soft and slightly warmed that it almost made the somewhat “wake up” cold shower ineffective. She styled her hair in a sleek ponytail and opted to wear one of the dresses that concealed her growing belly. She applied make up – making it simple – and went to the bedroom to fetch both Tommy’s gift and her heels.

“You look amazing darling.” Harry said when he spotted her yawning. “Tired, huh?”

“So much...” she whispered.

“I will try to find an excuse for you, and then you both can rest a bit.” He said, kissing her neck while resting his hands on her belly.

“Good luck with that.” she laughed.

He helped her with her shoes and changed clothes as fast as he could to go to one of the banquet halls where the invitation said the luncheon would be held. He had one hand on Carol’s lower back, protectively and also to guide her through the doors. He could hear the footsteps of his bodyguards behind them and made a mental note to ask Bill to increase the distance between them a little bit. This was going to be a stressful event for Carol and he didn’t want her feeling suffocated.

Their heard Tommy crying before they arrived at the hall. Exchanging a concerned look, they hushed to the Victorian styled room. Lara was holding her cherub, pacing the room, making soothing noises while Skippy was searching for something inside the diaper bag until he retrieved a pacifier. Carol went directly to Lara.

“Carol! I’m glad you came.” Lara said, side hugging her friend while rocking the little boy and looking for her husband. “I’m sorry. He’s fussy today.”

“Is he okay?” Harry asked concerned.

“Don’t mention it! Hi Tommy.” Carol said in a sing-song voice, caressing his red locks. “Auntie Carol is here.”

“He’s fine mate. Have just woken up.” Skippy replied when arriving with the pacifier, giving it to his son who stopped crying immediately. He greeted his best friend and Carol, asking them to make themselves comfortable while they waited for some people to arrive to start serving the food.

“Carol” Lara asked after a few pleasantries were exchanged. “Do you mind coming with me?”

“Sure.” Carol handed her clutch to Harry to hold, grabbed Tommy’s diaper bag and followed Lara to the nearest bathroom that smelled like lavender which immediately made her head hurt and her stomach to turn, even before pregnancy she hated the scent to lavender. 

Thankfully she hadn’t eaten much until now. The room was large – like everything in this hotel it seemed -, with marble sinks and stalls, gold details, everything screaming “tastefully luxurious”, it also had two deep burgundy upholstered chairs

“It’s my turn to change this little man’s nappy and I think he’s getting hungry.” Lara said happily undoing his onesie buttons, while Carol handed her the wipes and a clean nappy. “I’m glad you came. We won’t have much time to catch up this weekend, though. But we should go out sometime. Maybe lunch?”

“We’ve been busy, haven’t we?” Tommy smiled melting both women’s hearts. “I wish I was busy with this little man… Office work is so boring.”

Carol disposed of the used diaper and arranged everything back into the bag while Lara sat on one of upholstered chairs and got ready to feed her baby, Carol sat across from her friend. She watched at how lovingly she talked to and looked at her son and how happy the infant latched on.

She noticed in that moment that she wanted that so badly. Her love for her child was already one of the strongest feeling she ever felt. She knew that her baby was her reason to believe in a better tomorrow and to fight for it. She knew she’d move heavens and earth to make this child protected. Her mama bear instinct kicked right in at full force.

Her hand unconsciously went to her bump caressing it. She wanted to be a mum and in that moment she finally figured out that she was going to be a mother in a few months’ time. She wanted to feel the first kicks, she wanted to hold her baby close to her and get to know everything about her little bundle of joy: his or her preferences, mannerisms, personality, dreams...

“Why are you crying?” Lara asked after she looked up at her friend and saw the brunette with tears on her eyes.

“It’s nothing...” Carol said drying her tears.

“Carol… Is anything the matter?” Lara was preoccupied.

Carol got up to fetch a tissue and dry her tears. She took a deep breath and smiled at Lara.

“I’m pregnant.” Carol blurted.

“Beg your pardon?” Lara looked at her with a shocked expression on her face.

“I’m pregnant.” Carol repeated slowly this time.

“What is it with us and bathrooms when it comes announcing pregnancies?” Lara laughed. “How far along? You weren’t planning to tell me, were you?”

“I’m ten weeks along, we found out a couple of weeks ago. And no, no one was supposed to know before the twelve week mark… but seeing you with him, I just realized that I want this so badly and these damn hormones made my mouth talk faster than my brain could think.”

“Don’t worry, your secret is well kept. I’d hug you but master here is hungry.” they smiled and Carol sat down again. “How are you feeling?”

“I didn’t have many symptoms before I found out, but then, I became tired, breasts sore, sleepy and snappy.” they laughed and Lara commented it was very normal.

“And how’s Harry?”

“Over the moon. I think he wants to spread the word like wildfire… He’s wanted this for so long.” Carol smiled caressing her bump. “But he’s into an overprotective mode that is annoying.”

“Expected. He will be like this for the rest of your lives… Stop fighting it and get used to it, Carol. After everything that has happened to his family, it’s quite obvious that he won’t let anything of the sort happen again.” Lara said. “I’m glad for you. They will be close in age!”

“Thank you for not pointing out the out of wedlock implicit in this news.” Carol said when Tommy unlatched and smiled at his mum.

“Well… you’re welcome? What are you guys going to do about it?” she gave the baby to Carol, together with a burp cloth while she clasped her nursing bra and adjusted the dress again. Carol was gently burping the baby.

“We will know for sure in two weeks. I’m trying not to think about it just yet.” she sighed.

“Do try to enjoy the peace while it lasts. We are definitely scheduling a lunch date after you have “The talk” and I will be all ears for you.” she kissed her friend’s temple.

After the baby was properly burped, the ladies made their way back to the hall where Harry had a glass of scotch on one hand, talking to Jake, Skippy and Jack, probably about football. Carol and Lara took their turns to greet the new comers, with Zoe and Eugenie cooing over the baby on Carol’s arms. Harry’s eye twinkled admiring his girlfriend thinking that soon, it’d be their baby on her arms.

Carol stood beside Harry, playing with Tommy only half listening to what people were saying around her.

“I see that Tommy’s stolen my girl.” Harry joked, caressing Carol’s lower back.

“I think it’s the ginger hair.” Eugenie joked.

“Of course it’s the ginger hair – and the cute face. It’s nice to look at one for a change.” Carol joked.

“Ok, gotta keep you too separated. You girls teaming up will be the death of me.” Harry joked.

Reluctantly Carol gave Tommy to his father while Harry introduced her to the people he knew. Basically everyone in the room was a Lord/Lady or Baron and she felt a little intimidated but didn’t let it show. Carol first met Skippy’s parents and his stepmother, she knew his father was one of Prince Charles’ best friend – and he was studying her. Clearly his friend would know that his younger son had a new girlfriend by this evening. She was polite but let Harry do the small talk. Then it was Lara’s side of the family, she was introduced to her father and brother. Skippy’s sister  was the easiest to get along with… she shared the same sense of humor as her brother’s.

Carol was relieved when she found her assigned place at one of the round tables spread against the hall. It had a round floral vase in the centre, cutlery (lots of it) were made of silver and the glasses were crystal. Harry was sitting at her left and Jack at her right, followed by Eugenie, Jake and Zoe. Knowing everyone made things easier for her and Eugenie kindly asked her boyfriend to exchange places so she could sit by Carol’s side. Both of them engaged on a conversation during the first course. Eugenie was discreetly pointing to the right cutlery without anyone noticing and Carol gave her a polite smile as a thank you.

“Don’t need to be nervous, Carol.” Eugenie said at some point. “You’ll get used to it. And thankfully the only members of the Royal family here will be Harry and I. You’ll do just fine.”

(…)

Carol excused herself from the rehearsal. She wouldn’t play an important part during the ceremony anyway and she wanted a nap. Lara, now being even more empathetic with her friend, didn’t fuss about it and Carol went to their luxurious suite and straight to the bed, not even bothering in changing clothes or removing her make up.

She woke up later with feather-like kisses on her face and slowly opened her eyes to a very handsome Harry.

“Hi.” he said smiling to her.

“Hi” she answered back.

“I’ve missed you” he said nuzzling his nose on her neck, giving her the now familiar goosebumps.

“It’s been only a couple of hours.” she caressed his beard.

“It looks like an eternity for me.” he was laying on the bed beside her. “Did you get the rest that you need?”

“I did, yes.” she yawned and stretched. “Fully charged now.”

They shared a laugh and Carol positioned her head on his chest and one of her legs between his. He instantly held her, playing with her hair.

“I’ve asked Lara for you to enter through the back door tomorrow. I think I’m not ready to share you with the world just yet.”

“Thank you.” she whispered.

“My heart almost skipped a beat when I saw you with Tommy today.” he said and she could hear the smile on his voice. “My girl with a ginger baby on her arms… If you weren’t pregnant already you’d be getting tonight.”

They both laughed hard at that.

“Don’t be so cocky.”

“It’s just… you know that you’re giving me something I’ve wanted for a long time. Don’t you?” he said after a while. “A family of my own to protect, to take care of and provide for. A child to teach lots of things – someone to be a better version of myself. Thank you, Carol. I know this is hard for you. But I promise to be there every step of the way.”

She was crying after he finished his speech and he knew it. He didn’t mention or made fun of her because of that, but he only held her tighter and kissed her temple.

(…)

Carol woke up early on Saturday morning. It took her a while to untangle herself from Harry’s arms but she managed it. Putting on the robe to cover her now naked body, she went to the living room space of their suite and asked for breakfast to be delivered for them. She took a quick shower and started setting up her make up and hairdresser station on the bathroom vanity when Harry woke up and went to her, hugging her from behind.

“Morning.” he said trying to open her robe and receiving a playful slap afterwards.

“Morning!” she replied.

“Do you have time for a quickie before you start making yourself even more beautiful?” he asked seductively.

“Now now Mr. Wales… we did have four very “longies” last night. You can’t possibly be still horny.” she said looking at him through the mirror.

“Well… your bigger breasts make me hard. I can’t help it.” he said circling her nipples with his thumb.

“If we start, we are going to be late. So, your Royal Horniness, keep yourself together and we shall deal with it afterwards.” she fastened the robe belt again while he pouted and sat on the counter.

“Why do you need all of this?” he asked pointing to all of the make up she brought, changing the subject and concentrating hard on other things so he’d get rid of the boner he was sporting at the moment.

“It’s not even enough and I want to look nice today.”

“You look nice every day.” he said while watching her washing her face and applying some lotions.

“Thank you.” she said looking at him and pecking his lips.

She started to apply her make up and he didn’t even wanted to ask what all of those things would do, deciding to take a shower before breakfast. She finished faster than he thought, given the amount of things she applied and they enjoyed the perfectly cooked breakfast before changing clothes. 

Harry wanted a picture of Carol wearing that pink dress and noticed that if she placed her hand on her belly, they could see her small bump that seemed to grow by the second. He smiled when mentioned it to her and she said that she would likely have a very big bump.

“You will be a very sexy momma.” he commented while holding her clutch and the present that they had forgotten to give on the day before and went to their friend’s suite.

Skippy opened the door to their suite and informed Carol that Lara was in the bedroom nursing. He and Harry stayed on the living room while Carol went on the search of the baby.

“Morning sunshine.” Lara said when Carol opened the door.

“Good morning!”

Tommy looked around and smiled at Carol before turning and latching once again.

“As soon as he finishes, can you dress him for me, please?” Lara asked and Carol agreed.

“We forgot to give you his present yesterday” Carol gave the small package to her friend. “I hope you like it.”

Lara opened it and thanked her friend for the bracelet. It was very delicate and simple, one that she’d buy herself for her son if she had thought of that and clearly a very well thought present for him.

“I loved it, Carol. Thank you so much.”

After the baby was well fed and burped, Carol dressed him carefully and combed his hair to the side. She then fastened the bracelet on his arms and left Lara alone so she could finish getting ready for them to leave. Upon entering the living room again, with Tommy smiling and happy, Harry’s heart filled with emotion.

“You’re going to kill me.” he whispered to her.

“Why?”

“You with him on your arms, you being so lovely to him and carrying our baby… I can’t wait until it’s our turn.”

(…)

Harry and Carol rode together with Eugenie and Jack to the St. Albans Cathedral. The car stopped first at the back entrance where Carol jumped off and quickly entered the church, finding her assigned place. And then stopped at the front of the church and sure enough, lots of photographers were waiting for them there. Harry and Eugenie waved and entered the church, waiting for Skippy and Lara to arrive. Harry was shifting his weight and looking where Carol was sitting still alone.

“Calm down, Harry. She’s just fine.” Eugenie mentioned.

“I don’t think having her here is a good idea.” He replied.

“Why not?”

“I don’t think she’s ready for what’s to come from the media once they realize who she is.” he sighed.

“It’s not going to be easy, we know that. But you love her and she loves you… and I think she’s a very strong woman. With our support she’ll do just fine.” Eugenie side hugged her cousin.

“Thank you for “our support” part. It means a lot.”

“I really like her…”

“So do I…. Jack, would you mind?” Harry asked.

“Right on it...” he pecked Eugenie’s lips and went to sit beside Carol. It was pretty obvious how she had relaxed after seeing a friendly face and they both started chatting right away.

(…)

The Service was very right to the point but beautiful and moving.

Lara had asked someone to decorate the church with lots of flower arrangements in a mixture of white Casablanca lilies, tulips and Lily of the valley. Tommy was as happy as he could be, trying the eat the program on his mum’s hand and smiling, up until the water touched his head but his daddy soon made him stop crying and cheery again.

Carol was paying attention and making sure she held the best posture as possible, as she knew that some of these people had Prince Charles on speed dial and she wanted to make a good impression.

Even though when you meet him you’re going to announce you’re pregnant… Not the greatest first impression will come out of that.

She shook her head to clear off these thoughts and smiled at her friends when Skippy waved at her from the altar. She was really fighting the urge of placing her hands on her bump and making a mental note of asking Harry how christenings were done in his family. She knew what they shared with the press, but didn’t know how the ceremony was held.

Lara requested everyone present to take a group picture, together with the priest before they left the church. Although Harry had tried to have her beside him, Carol ended up beside Jack on the far right of where he was. After the pictures were taken, Bill appeared signalling it was time to go and Carol left through the back entrance going straight to the waiting car.

At moment, as they had rehearsed, Harry and Eugenie left the church through the front door together with the other attendants and stopped to take a few pictures with his godson as Lara wanted.

Everyone else started to get into their cars to head to the reception whilst Harry, Eugenie and Jack  conveniently stayed behind to stop and wave to the press – just to make sure that Carol’s car would be long gone without anyone following.

Jack was the one driving this car and he could see that the Prince was nervous and he could relate to that… He was the one arriving at the family and even then it was very difficult. As soon as they entered the Hotel’s grounds – out of sight of the paps that began following them - Harry got out of the car before it even fully stopped moving and bolted straight through the corridors until he found the reception room. Carol was there, sipping on some water and he immediately hugged her.

“Are you alright, darling?” he was carefully checking her to make sure she wasn’t going to hide anything.

“Yes, just fine… I think I’m still undercover.” she said. “Bill is a great security man, Harry. Don’t worry.”

“I don’t like the idea of you getting discovered while pregnant...” he confessed.

“I know. I don’t either.” she chastely pecked his lips. “Let’s just not think about it, ok? Everything went fine and the other guests are arriving and you have more pictures to pose for.”

Harry went on godfather mode, still making sure Carol was within his eyesight.

The photographer Lara hired was good, getting all the “must have’ shots as quickly as possible and Harry wanted to have one of him, Carol and Tommy. When he saw the picture on the camera’s display, he knew that it was going straight to the mantle of his fireplace.

________________________________________________

A/N: I hope all of you are keeping safe and sane on this quarantine mode.

Thank you for your continued support! I love to read all of the messages you send me and hopefully you’ll enjoy this quit long chapter.

Xoxo

#Prince Harry #Prince Henry of Wales #Duke of Sussex #Fanfic #Fanfiction #Royal Fanfiction #BRF #PHFF #Prince Harry Fanfiction #When you tell the world you're mine #chapter: 49 #royalfanficcollection #royalfanficcentral #British Royal Family

[telltheworld-phff]

A Motivating Comment

Don’t give up! You can do it, author!

I love your fanfic by the way, I think its brilliant! Hope you can update soon cuz I cant wait to  read more.

---

Hi Anne,

First of all, hope you and yours are keeping as safe as you can possibly be in these trying times.

Thank you for all of your lovely messages on my fanfic. This is what keeps me going and I hope you enjoy the new chapter. It will be up shortly.

Xoxo

[telltheworld-phff]

Well don’t keep us in suspense ... I’m dying over here.

Well, hello there! 

First of all, hope you and yours are keeping as safe as you can possibly be in these trying times.

Also I’d like to thank you for your continued support. Even when I don’t feel motivated to write, your comments (and the comments from everyone that go to my inbox or Whatsapp) are what keeps me going. I’m beta-reading a chapter and it will be up shortly.

Xoxo

[telltheworld-phff]

I just wrote the most sad, difficult and heart wrenching chapter of my life and I can't stop crying.

[telltheworld-phff]

Sometimes it is hard to get enthusiastic about writing, but low readership and feedback basically guarantees low enthusiasm.

[telltheworld-phff]

Chapter 48: Bump

Harry’s mouth went dry when he saw it.

One of his hands, without him even noticing, grabbed one of the tests and he looked closely to it as if that was a dream he was going to wake up from. But it seemed as harder he looked, the brighter those undeniable straws became.

Neither of them would ever forget the feeling of those bright pink straws.

Neither of them would ever forget the feeling in their gut when they saw it.

He could hear Carol crying on the background and he knew he needed to react right and fast as to not scare her, as not to give her the wrong impression. How could he do that as he didn’t even knew for sure how he was feeling at the moment, never imagined he’d be filled with so many emotions at once. He was happy, he was so fucking happy because he was going to be a father.

He was happy because she would be the mother of his child and that nothing in this world would ever be more important to him than his family. He had a family of his own as of now.

But in between his family and whichever feeling he had about them, stood his title and position. He did not want to think about it right now. He had to partially hide his emotions and conflicting thoughts to be able to be there for the woman he loved and that was now carrying his child. Their child.

He turned around and saw her, crying and a bit disheveled.

“Darling...” he started.

“I’m sorry, Harry.” she begged. “I’m so so sorry.” she hiccuped mid-sentence.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” he answered sincerely and approached her. He caressed her face and embraced her, making sure that he was even more loving than usual. He couldn’t even start and try to imagine what was going through her mind right now. “Shhh… please don’t cry my darling,” he said while fighting his own urge to cry, both from happiness and worry. He couldn't lose her. Not after all the battles he had fought.

“I have messed up.” she said into his chest.

“Carol… you did not make this child by yourself,” he answered calmly. “This is a blessing.”

“What are we going to do? We just started dating, I still have to finish my master's… you are not a  common man, Harry. You are a prince and this child will be called a bastard for the rest of his or her life.” she cried even harder after this.

That thought had not crossed his mind until she mentioned it. It was so easy for him to forget who he was whenever he was around her, that just now the seriousness of this situation started to make its space into his mind. He would need to deal with his father and grandmother – to whom he had promised to treat Carol respectfully and accordingly – but worst than them, he would have to deal with the press. And by experience, there wasn’t much of what he could do. He would not be able to keep his girl and his baby safe from the media’s nasty words.

Gently he started to guide her to his bedroom and sat her on his bed. He kneeled in front of her, holding both of her hands between his and she gasped.

“Please don’t do what I think you are going to do.” she said sharply.

“I’m not going to propose.” he said a bit hurt. Both that she thought he would propose in the middle of his bedroom and that she was going to say no if he did it now. “I just want you to look at me and listen to me carefully. Ok?”

She nodded.

“Words cannot describe the mix of feelings I have right now. It will take me a while to understand most of it but I am beyond happy that we are going to have a child. I want you to know and be certain that I want this child. I am not thinking of the hardships and troubles we are going to have… For me, there is no other way than for us to have this baby. But I will support you on any decision you make.” he took a long breath. “I am thrilled that you are going to be the mother of my baby and… please, not for a moment think this is going to be a burden. I have no idea what we are going to do from now on, but I will be by your side every step of this way and we will find out together.”

Her heart broke into a million pieces when she saw the thin tear roll down his cheeks. She noticed that he also wanted to cry, as she was doing since the first test came out positive.

She kneeled in front of him and hugged him tightly. Her mind had taken the best of her and she had imagined lots of things of how he would react and in all scenarios, he would react badly. She took a mental note to stop underestimating Harry. He proved her wrong all the time.

“We didn’t even have the talk about children.” she whispered.

“You know I always wanted to be a father.” he whispered back. “Don’t you?”

“Yes, I do. But this soon?” she said.

“I don’t regret it… could it happen in the future, with us married and after enjoying a bit more of our lives? Yes… but if God sent us this blessing now… it might as well be what we are needing at the moment.” He never thought he would be this faithful, but he was. Nothing happens without a reason. And they would figure out what this unplanned pregnancy would mean to them.

She pecked his lips and got up. She laid on his bed and he soon was with her. He caressed her face, her eyes and her lips. His hands knew every inch of her body, and slowly it was placed upon where their child was growing. He smiled big and caressed it for a long time her still a non-existent bump.

“You didn’t tell me you were having pregnancy symptoms.” he said.

“I wasn’t. I mean.. the symptoms were sleepiness, heartburn, headache.”

“Our child is already special… giving you unusual symptoms.” they both laughed at that.

“When do you think this child was conceived?” she asked.

“I don’t recall…” He tried to remember when he had failed to use a condom. “Oh my God.”

“What?” she said startled.

“The beach… that was the only time where we were unprotected. He or she was made under the stars.”

“That is romantic… if we don’t consider all the other facts.”

“That was the night you accepted to be my girlfriend.” he smiled and she soon followed. Her smile still not reaching her eyes. “Guess I won’t have you only to myself for so long then.”

“Yeah… we got a souvenir from that night, huh?” he felt a bit more relieved that she was already making jokes about it. That meant that she was still with him. And that her mind wasn’t taking her to places where he wasn’t sure he would be able to rescue her from… and save their relationship at the same time.

“If you weren’t feeling any symptoms… how come you decided to take a test?” he asked.

“Sofia pointed it out.” Carol said and told him the conversation she had with the princess.

Flashback

“Carol… don’t get me wrong, please. But are you sure these heartburns are normal?” Sofia asked her when Carol was putting on her coat to leave and go to her hotel. Her friend had a thin line of sweat on her forehead, was a bit pale and out of breath.

“Well… Normal is not feeling anything, but I guess its just stress. I am working and traveling a lot, studying for a master's degree and dating a prince.” Carol said.

“Well… you do have a crazy lifestyle, don’t you?” they both laughed. “But aren’t you pregnant?”

Carol stared at Sofia as if she was the craziest person on the face of earth.

“Are you out of your mind, Sofia?” Carol laughed at that. “I’m not pregnant.”

“Are you sure?”  Sofia crossed her arms and stared at Carol’s bump. Defying her friend to say otherwise.

“Well… I’m not late, it is expected in a couple of days. And I’ve only had headaches and heartburns. I’m sleepy all the time because I barely have much time to sleep anyways. There aren’t any pregnancy symptoms. Chill.”

“Ok... sorry to mention it, but I saw when you got a bit dizzy while carrying Alex… and we’ve been friends for a while and you never mentioned you suffered from heartburns ever… and you always had this kind of lifestyle of overworking, barely sleeping...” Sofia said the concern on her friend’s face. “I guess this won’t be the time I will become “aunt Sofia” then.”

End of flashback

“That was when I noticed that I miscalculated my period. It was two weeks late and not too week to come… The rest, you know...” Carol said.

“How do you want things to go?” Harry asked after she said.

“Can it be a secret for a while?” Carol nervously bit her lip.

“Of course… I mean we need to go to a doctor and make sure everything’s ok… But we can tell people whenever you feel ready for it.”

“I am going to ask Agnes for an appointment. Do you want to come?”

“I wouldn’t miss it.” he pecked her lips.

“For now… let’s just the three of us know. I am probably around week 5 or 6, still too soon to spill the beans, right?”

“Right.” he agreed and did not understand why she was counting the time in weeks.

“Then we need to know how to tell your grandma… Never thought next time I would meet the Queen would be to tell her that I am carrying a child who is likely to be born out of wedlock.”

“One day at a time, darling.” Harry said. “One day at a time.”

“I want to speak Portuguese with the baby.” she said. “I miss speaking Portuguese every day and he or she not knowing the language would break my heart.”

“You can speak whichever language you prefer, darling. It will need to communicate with grandma.” he said.

“Yes...” she started crying again and he wondered why. “She will be so disappointed. How come I get pregnant at a young age, not married… We are going to disappoint lots of important people.”

“But that’s their problem, not ours. We love each other. And we are together. And we will raise this child together. That’s what really matters.”

She pretended she didn’t hear the L-word. She wasn’t ready for that. Yet.

“What about press and media?” she asked.

“Carol… let’s not fret over things beyond our control. We shall deal with that when we come to it, ok?”

“Ok.”

They stared at each other for a few minutes.

“Harry?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For staying… for reacting the way you did. It really helped.” she whispered. “I thought you would freak out, yell, end things…”

“You should really try to control that creative mind of yours. It does wonders on work and school… but in your personal life, you always try to expect the worst from everyone. And not everyone is like that...”

He just kissed her to show and reassure her that he was not going to go anywhere. And that they would face this together.

(…)

When she was asleep, he got out of bed and went downstairs to pour himself a glass of scotch, making sure to have a double dose. His mind was running but he wouldn’t dare to let her notice it, as he knew how she would get. He was immensely happy and thrilled to know that he was going to be a father. He finally would have a family of his own and accomplish one of his greatest dreams, but everything that came together with it was going to give them a hard time. He knew Carol would oppose moving into Nottingham Cottage and he wouldn’t be able to live with her at her flat. He wasn’t even sure that she could if she wanted to, move in with him.

He knew his grandmother would be happy for him, but at the same time she would be disappointed at him for doing things the wrong way. She was a ninety-two-year-old lady after all. She would tell him that this situation wasn’t how he was groomed to have his family starting.

His father would give him hell for the whole pregnancy, might even stop talking to him. He was afraid of how his father would look at Carol. Would he be able to see how fantastic, hardworking and trustable woman she was? Or he would simply look at their slip and take her as a gold digger?

And he didn’t even want to know what Maria and Flavio would say. He didn’t know them that well, but he knew that Maria had big dreams for Carol and that she wasn’t one to encourage skipping steps of life. She had, after all, worked her ass off to be able to keep her daughter in college. She herself had carefully gone through all the right steps in her own life. He had started to see Maria as a mom and he would not want her disappointment either.

The press would be ruthless and he wouldn’t be able to protect them from it. If Carol ever accepted to live somewhere else, somewhere private, where they could be away from media even in another country, they still would be searched upon, photographed whenever they needed to run some errands, people would say things and…. - He just poured himself another glass. All the thinking was giving him a headache.

He was starting to consider renouncing his title, getting a job of his own and providing for his family. That seemed the easiest route. But even though if he did it, he had already lived for so long in the public eye… it was no guarantee that they would be left alone. They could move back to Brazil, get a house near Maria and he would have to learn how was it like to go to work every day and wait for payroll… He could also not work every day and wait for payroll like a commoner and live by his inheritance... No matter what the course of action, he wanted this child more than everything in his life and he wanted his girl to be with him. He did not consider abortion and it would definitely break his heart if that was to be what Carol wanted. He didn’t think that she would do that, but that would be something that she could do if she wanted… and he had promised to be by her side no matter what she chose.

He didn’t notice time slipping by and even startled when he heard Carol’s footsteps on the stairs and her sleepy voice calling him. He looked at her, messy hair and a t-shirt of his. He smiled, drank the last sip of scotch and went to her.

“I missed you in bed. Everything alright?” she asked when he approached her and kissed her shoulder.

“Of course, darling. I just needed a drink. Let’s get back to bed. Shall we?” he whispered.

“Are you sure?” she pressed.

“I am sure, my love. I did not want to wake you up.”

“Ok then…” he carried her to his bedroom and carefully placed her on his bed. He soon was by her side, hugging and trying to give her the reassurance that he did not have at the moment. He kissed her whole face before lovingly kissing her. He loved how their bodies were eager to be in each other.

“I love you, Carolina.” he said after their kiss ended.

She felt her heart pounding in her chest when she heard that word again. She only looked him in the eyes and knew that he understood that she wasn’t ready to say those words. She also got that he wasn’t going to not say that to her. He wasn’t afraid of his feelings.

She pecked his lips and made herself comfortable on his arms, soon falling asleep again. He simply held her in his arms, taking care of her, of them, before sleepiness finally took over him.

(…)

It was a Thursday night of the next week when Carol entered Agnes’ office. She had asked for an urgent appointment, at night and preferably not letting anyone – not even the secretary – know that it was for her. Carol arrived together with Harry who was driving, parked nearby the back door and called Agnes. She opened the door and before she left the car, one of Harry’s RPO entered her office and did a fast sweep. After giving the couple the green light, Harry and Carol left the car as fast as they could and holding hands, taking the steps together for the first appointment of their baby.

The RPO stayed in the waiting room. Agnes had a feeling of what was happening but she respected their time and waited for them to start talking after the pleasantries and introductions were done.

“What can I do for you, Carol?” Agnes said, always so professional.

“Agnes… You might imagine, after all the demands that I requested – and I am sorry for this – why we’re here, right? I kindly ask you to not tell anyone about what happened here. Not Hailey, not Flavio and my mom. I still need some time to process everything.” Carol said, holding Harry’s hands as if her life depended on it.

“Carol… You are scaring me. You can trust we are under secrecy inside this room… I started to see you as a daughter. I promise not to say a word if you promise to take care of whatever it is that you need my work on.” Agnes said trying to ignore the fact that Prince Harry was inside her office together with her daughter’s stepsister.

“I’m pregnant.” Carol blurted out for the first time. She couldn’t help the uneasy feeling that she had when she said it out loud.

“Congratulations!” Agnes' suspicions were right after all. “When did you find out?”

“Last week… Saturday, to be exact. We’re… we’re dating. I don’t know if Hailey told you this... but… It’s soon and obviously unplanned...” Carol said and Harry held her hand tightly.

“You don’t need to give me any explanations, Carol. You are a very responsible adult and I trust you both will do the right thing.” Agnes said and started filling a form, changing the main information that would lead anyone to discover who the patient was.

“When was your last period?” She asked.

“I believe it was March 31st, don’t remember exactly.” Carol answered.

“We’ll then have to find out how far along you are with an ultrasound.”

“We know the date.” Harry said.

“You do?” Agnes was looking at them with an eyebrow raised.

“That was the only time we were unprotected. April 14th”

“The wedding, then?” Agnes smiled.

“Yes… Our souvenir was better and different from the other guests.” Carol joked.

“Let’s take a look at your weight and blood pressure. Ok?” Agnes asked getting up and Carol soon following.

“Everything’s looking perfect right now,” Agnes said after she took notes of Carol’s blood pressure, weight and measurements of chest and waist.

Thankfully for the new parents, there was an ultrasound machine in her office. They were dying to see if everything was ok. Carol changed clothes to a disposable hospital dress and laid on the bed while Agnes was putting on gloves. She first examined Carol’s breasts – after she found out she started to complain that they were sore all the time – saying that it was a normal thing, it would become a bit larger and darker, she then carefully examined Carol to see if everything was as it was supposed to be. It was. She was professional, gentle and caring and responding all questions Harry and Carol had.

“Based on the conception date, you must be around 7 weeks and 4 days pregnant, Carol. That means, Harry, two months.”

“This baby was quiet enough… if it weren’t from Sofia’s tip and the heartburns we might as well have found out when she was ready to pop...” The girls laughed hard at Harry’s joke.

“It’s better when moms discover not right at the beginning, I see.” Agnes said preparing the equipment. “Because we all want to hear something, that only after week six we are able to. Let’s try and see this baby of yours.”

She carefully inserted the ultrasound machine – the only way for this week of the pregnancy – and they saw a small thing on the monitor. There wasn’t much shape to it, but they knew that it was their baby.

It was so small, so defenseless. But at the same time, it meant so much. It was asking them to love him or her. It was asking them to become a family.

“Look Carol… that’s our baby.” Harry said when the screen changed, holding her hand and kissing her forehead, with a teary eye.

“Oh my God… it’s so small” Carol said between tears.

“Looks like everything’s alright here… It’s well placed inside the womb, the placenta is in the right place… let’s see if we can catch any sounds…”

TUM-TUM-TUM-TUM

That sound was the most amazing music they had ever heard in life. It was their child, showing them that everything was OK… that they could rest. Neither would ever forget how that sounded and what it meant for them at that moment.

Agnes let them hear for more minutes than an average appointment before she helped Carol to clean up and get up.

“I am going to ask you for a urine test, blood tests and to take some pills. I will give you a box that I have here… and after your blood test, if you need more vitamins, I will prescribe others, ok?” she said handing Carol a box of folic acid pills.

“Agnes, I can’t thank you enough!” Carol said after getting the prenatal pills she would need to take daily.

“You don’t have to mention it, ok? Please let me know when you intend to go to the lab to get the other tests done, I can arrange your privacy.” She said hugging Carol and then Harry and congratulating them again.

“Will do. How much do we owe you?” Harry asked getting his wallet.

“This one is on the house.” Agnes refused politely. “Please do let me know when you intend to let people know. I can’t wait to buy cute little outfits for the baby!”

“We will do. Thank you, doctor.” Harry said.

He and Carol were on cloud nine after the appointment, both holding the photos of their baby that Agnes had given them.

“See… we made a super baby.” Harry said.

“Don’t be cocky about it...” Carol replied pecking his lips.

“I am so fucking happy, Carolina.” he said and her heart warmed.

(…)

“Are you sure you have to go?” Harry asked her.

“Yes, Harry. I am.” she said finishing packing.

“Isn’t there anyone else to cover for you?” He insisted.

“No… It’s my project after all.” she rolled her eyes.

“I don’t feel comfortable with you flying so early in the pregnancy.” He stated.

“Harry… We just left the appointment, Agnes said everything is just fine. She did not oppose it. And I am already one day delayed. I have to go.”

“Promise me you will take care. Work reasonable hours, eat well and take your pills.” He said looking at her and she went to him, holding his face between her hands.

“I am fine… I feel fine and I will take care of our baby. I can’t tell my boss that I am pregnant yet and this trip to Johannesburg was scheduled months ago. I have to be there. Four days only and we will be back.” she said lovingly.

“I wish I could go with you.” He whispered.

“But you can’t.” she said firmly. “We will be fine, Harry. I promise I will take good care of us.”

“Ok… But I don’t like my family away from me.” He said and saw her tearing up. “What did I say?”

“You’re the sweetest man in this world, Henry.” she smiled. “Damn hormones.”

“Using that card already, are you?” they laughed and after a goodbye kiss – he couldn’t drive her to the airport – he carried her luggage to the car and kissed her a few times more before she left.

Carol did not want to go on this work trip, but she had to as it was scheduled beforehand. She was flying business and it made things a little less uncomfortable for her. Her bump was starting to appear if anyone knew her body well and looked very closely, and she was starting to feel some not so nice symptoms. She had to go, it was her career… the career that she fought so hard to have and build… and she hadn’t thought about what she was going to do with it after the baby was born. Would she be a working mom? Stay at home mom? Why had she fought so hard to study if she was going to put it aside? At the same time, she wanted to be a hands-on mom. It was her dream. She just didn’t know how she would do both. Or if she wanted to do both.

Her trip was like any other work trip she had taken since moving to London. Endless meetings and workshops, taking shifts to train everyone, answering questions from all sorts while keeping up with her e-mails and being aware of what was happening in the London office while she was away. Video conferences and a small chat with colleagues. She did try to slow things down a little bit but wasn’t able to, she had made her team used to her workaholic habits of doing a thousand things in a day, so they prepared her schedule based on this. She took her pills religiously and made sure that no matter where she was, she was snacking on healthy food and having proper meals – which was a first. At the end of the day, at the hotel, she only wanted to sleep and sleep and sleep some more. She was tired as if she’d ran a marathon, and wondered how much of it was pregnancy-related.

Harry was either calling or texting her all the time to know if she was alright and although she did appreciate all the concern and care, she was getting fed up. She knew how to take care of herself and her baby. He did not have to ask her a thousand times if she had drunk enough water or eaten a healthy and balanced meal. She was keeping her thoughts to herself and thanking God that this was going to be a four day only trip as if it had lasted longer, she surely would snap at him.

(…)

He was waiting for her with flowers at her apartment when she came back to London. She had been miserable for the whole flight, with nausea, her breasts too sore and she wanted to pee every 10 minutes. The last thing that she wanted was to be close to him, she just wanted to be left alone, but she did not have the heart to send him away. He probably asked someone to clean her flat, do her laundry and bought her favorite take out at an Italian restaurant near her place.

“I missed you.” was the first thing he said when she opened the door. “How are you?”

“Tired,” she answered, side hugging him. “Flowers?”

“Yes. I have also prepared a bath for you as well… and I can give you a massage later.” Harry offered, clearly noting that she wasn’t in a good mood. “You need to rest and eat and I am here to make sure of that.”

“Thank you. I really appreciate it.” she said above a whisper and left her luggage nearby the door, going straight to the bathroom, where she cried alone for being such an idiot to him. He was trying to make nice things for her and she was a total bitch to him. She took a quick bath and went to her bedroom in her bathrobes to fetch some moisturizer to apply to her body. He was sitting on her bed, waiting for her.

He noticed that she had cried, but said nothing.

“Carol, wait...” Harry said when she took off the bathrobe and was about to apply the cream.

“What now?” she asked impatiently.

“Your bump… its… bigger.” he was in awe.

She took a few steps to be able to look herself in the mirror and saw that her bump was indeed bigger. She hadn’t noticed it in Johannesburg, but now there was a small bump in her body where their baby was growing.

He got up and touched it lightly. He then kissed it and that was enough for all hormones come crashing and for her to start to sob. He didn’t pay much attention to that, because his child was already showing.

“Daddy missed you.” he whispered to her bump. “Missed you and mamãe.” [Mamãe = mommy]

Carol was crying for everything and nothing at the same time. Harry was speaking to their 8-week baby and she had worked so hard that she did not notice her bump growing and she was a horrible mother and girlfriend for that. He took the cream and applied carefully in all her body, and helped her to dress in her favorite pajamas.

“Do you want to have dinner now?” he asked after finishing.

“Yes, please.” she answered, still crying and wanting to stop, and not being able to.

“Why all the waterworks?” he asked.

“I don’t know! I want it to stop but I can’t!” she said.

“Let’s see after I feed you if that will stop...” he had set the table for them. “Don’t you think it’s best for you to share it with someone who’s been through it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well… you’re clearly in a mood… And I don’t know what to do about that. If you talked to someone who’s been pregnant before, maybe it’d help. Why don’t you call your mom?”

“I still don’t want her to know...” she said eating.

“Then Agnes?”

“We’re not that close, I guess.”

“Sofia? She was the one who found out anyways… She will keep our secret.” Harry said, eating and taking a sip of soda.

“I will call her later.” Carol said after giving it some thought.

(….)

Harry stayed in the living room while Carol called Sofia in the bedroom. He kissed her before she left, and she had said she was sorry for the way she was treating him.

Carol tried to rehearse a way of spilling the beans, but decided against all tries. She would go without a script. She sent a message first, asking if they could video call in 10 minutes and the princess said yes.

When Carol called, she was sitting on her bed and beside her was the pictures of her baby that Agnes had printed for them.

“Hi Carol...” Sofia said cheerfully. “How was South Africa?”

“I did not have time to explore… I barely saw it, to be honest. How are you? And the little cherub?”

“I am great, thanks. Alex is sleeping over at Victoria’s today. And Carl Philip is out with some friends. All by myself tonight, thank God.” they both laughed at that. “Where’s Harry?”

“Watching soccer in the living room...” Carol answered.

“I thought you both would be glued right now...” Sofia said laughing.

“We’re not 15, you know? We can keep our hands off each other.” she laughed.

“What’s the matter, Carol?”

“What do you mean? That was a joke...”

“I know that was a joke. But I’ve come to know you and I know something is troubling your thoughts… spill it.” Sofia crossed her arms.

“Firstly I need you to promise me that you won’t tell anyone. Not even Carl Philip.”

“Pinky promise.” the brunette said.

“There’s something I need your help in taking care of...” Carol started, grabbing the photo.

“What is it? Have you guys been spotted?” Sofia was concerned about her new friend.

“Nope… Not yet.” Carol said.

“Then, what is it? Stop stalking and tell me.”

“This. We need your help to take care of this...” Carol said and then showed the pictures to the camera of her laptop.

At first Sofia didn’t see it as the camera took a while to focus. Then she saw it was an ultrasound still and saw the little baby in there.

“I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! I’M GOING TO BE AUNT SOFIA!!!” The princess said with joy. “How far along are you? When did you find out? You better have found out after you left Sweden otherwise I will kill you for lying to my face.”

“I am 8 weeks along and yes, I found out after I left. The first stop was Boots to buy the tests.” Carol answered.

“I’m so happy for you, Carol. How are you feeling?”

“I am happy and confused and overwhelmed and tired. It’s so many feelings. Never thought someone could feel that much in so little time….” Carol took a breath. “Physically, I’m alright. Have not gained any weight, the headaches and heartburn stopped. But my breasts are larger and darker and sorer, I have a tiny bump and sometimes I feel nauseous. And sleepy and I need to pee every 10 minutes. This child measures what? A grape, perhaps and is already giving me bathroom trips imagine when it’s fully grown.”

Sofia laughed at her friend, remembering that she went through most of what she was describing herself when she was pregnant.

“The second trimester is the best one, trust me. You will feel more like yourself again.” she advised.

“And the hormones are awful… Harry did a very nice gesture to me today and I couldn’t help but be a bitch to him. That’s why he told me to call you.” Carol stated.

“So you’d bitch me instead? Nice exchange….” they laughed.

“What are you guys going to do?” Sofia asked.

“We have not talked about it yet… I want it to be a secret at least through the first 12 weeks and then we will tell our family and the courtiers and try to decide what’s the best route for us. Hopefully, the press won’t spot me until then.” Carol said.

“That’s wise.” she pointed. “Thank you for trusting me with this. I’m so thrilled for you.”

“Thank you for tipping me off, and for being there when I need the most.” Carol said, already starting to cry. “I needed to talk to someone who’s been through it, you know?”

“I do. I do know… Next time I’m in London I want a girls night and we can talk endlessly about pregnancy and dreams for our children.”

“It still feels like I’m dreaming.”

“You’re accomplishing a dream… I’d say you are dreaming.”

“Would you be a godmother to him or her?” Carol asked. “I’m not sure if you can, but, would you?”

“I am honored. And, of course, I will be godmother. And help you both find your pace and settle on whichever path you decided to follow with Harry. You are becoming a family and family is the most important thing in life. Don’t worry about anyone else. Take care of yourself and my godchild, ok?” Carol nodded. “I think Carl Philip has arrived.” they saw him opening the door behind Sofia and cheering on them.

“Oh, Hi Carol… back from Africa already?” he said sitting beside his wife.

“Yeah...” she said discreetly drying her tears. “Four days only, barely saw anything. So much work to be done, and little time to do it.”

“I thought you and Harry would be glued to each other by now...”

Carol and Sofia burst out laughing.

“We’re not 15, Carl Philip… he’s watching soccer.”

“I'll tell you… that ginger has gone soft.”

______________________

A/N: I AM SO SORRY for finishing the last chapter on such a cliffhanger and then take forever to update. I really struggled with this chapter and rewrote it several times, to be completely honest I still don’t like it but I didn’t want to let you guys waiting more for it. Hope you like it and so you know, already working on the next one. We’re getting close to part II of this history. 

#phff #prince harry #prince henry of wales #duke of sussex #prince harry fanfic #prince harry fanfiction #monarchy #royalty #fanfic #fanfiction #brf #british royal family #wiriting #When you tell the world you're mine #chapter: 48

[telltheworld-phff]

Chapter 47 - Sverige

They decided to stay in Noronha for a few more days and they were about to change their tickets again when reality came and knocked on their door.

They both did not want to come back to England because they knew that they would need to do a few things in regards of their relationship. Harry was, as always, respectful of Carol’s timing and they did spend most nights talking about what was to be expected of their relationship. He was guiding her through it all and assuring her that they wouldn’t lose themselves in the middle of media, palace and protocols.

He briefly explained to her what could and could not be done and she had figured half of it by herself before she even met him. Everyone knew that the girlfriends used to have a hard time specially with the media. His previous girlfriends had gone through hell and not to mention what Kate had to endure over all those years. Although he was doing his best not to scare her, she was scared – but not for a second regretting her decision. She wanted to talk to someone who had actually gone through it.

“You should not worry about the palace and protocols as for now...” he said while they were flying back home, on the private jet of the Royal Family. “They will leave us be for now, to see if the relationship evolves.” he paused and looked at her “The only thing you will have to do is obvious and you probably know already.”

She laughed.

“Yeah… keep to myself, trust no one, accept a new phone so I don’t get hacked. Also change email addresses, lockers and such… it all before the media finds out who I am.” she answered. “How long do you thing we can keep this as a secret?”

“Well… we were just surrounded by family and all staff have signed NDA’s. We are both loaded with work, so we probably won’t be sleeping over as much… I think, if we are lucky, four to six months of oblivion.” he said. “But we need to check that with Foxy and the team.”

“What about your grandmother?” she asked.

“What about her?”

“Are you going to tell her? Do you have to write a formal letter for the Royal book?” she was clearly insecure and he side embraced her.

“How do you even know about the Royal book…. Never mind… I will tell her, of course. Come to think of it, I find that she was actually expecting this.”

“Was she now?” Carol was surprised.

“I think she was… she liked you, Carol. I told you that many times.”

“Well… pardon me for not believing that the Queen liked me after our only three minute encounter.” they both laughed. “Ok… I think I can do this. Just need to stay out of the media and not let them discover who I am. Can’t even imagine what to tell my boss if they find out too soon.”

“It’s quite hilarious that you work at BBC and somewhat with media and press and you are dating me. Quite the breaking news to change a journalist's life. Ain’t it?”

“I think our dating is quite life changing enough. I could though tip one of my friends and make a change in someone else’s life.”  - They both laughed hard at that.

As expected, as soon as they landed, real life came crashing on them.

Harry went straight to Kensington on a separate car and Carol waited for an hour to leave the airport, so the press would be gone by then. She went home and after unpacking and a shower, and obviously a phone call with Harry, she started checking her emails and saw that she had tons to do.

She wanted to work a bit more, but when she noticed it was way past 10pm and the jet lag was taking a toll on her, she made a cup of tea and went to bed.

When she left her flat the next morning, she felt like she was being watched. She looked around but there was only the friendly elderly couple that she saw every morning, she said a few amenities to them, as always and kept walking to the nearest station.

She couldn’t stop glancing around. It seemed to her that all eyes were on her. Like the world already knew.

The reality was that everyone was tending to their own business and just commuting to work in that morning.

She took several deep breaths and started to reason. If someone had said something, Harry would have let her know. And she wouldn’t be able to leave her apartment due to the photographers.

She arrived at work and barely had the time to sit on her chair. Her boss called her for a meeting and she cursed under her breath.

Before she arrived at the meeting room, she sent two texts.

The first one to Harry:

C: Why do I feel like the word is out?

The second one to Sofia

C: We need to chat. REALLY need to chat. Going to a meeting now. Are you free for a call around lunch time?

“I mean it, Sofia. It looks like everyone knows!” Carol whispered on her phone while having lunch on her desk.

“Has anyone said anything about it? Boss, coworkers, Edward, Harry?” Sofia calmly answered.

“No. Harry assured me that no one knows.”

“So… its something of your imagination, Carol. Just chill. Take a deep breath. Stop freaking out for no reason. Otherwise you won’t have much energy when everyone does know.”

“You are right… I mean. It’s been less than a week… first day back in London.”

“Your fears are getting the best of you. Stop it!”

“Ok… How did you do it?”

“One day at a time. And focusing on what mattered.” Sofia said and Carol could hear Alexander’s giggle, she was probably playing with the little boy. “Focus on strengthening your relationship, evolving as partners. When the storm hits, you and him will be ready. Don’t waste your energy on something that has not even happened yet.”

“Ok. I will do that…” she took a deep breath. “I will be in Sweden in two weeks. Can we meet?”

“Of course. Let me know when so I can arrange. Do you want to stay with us?” she offered.

“I really don’t want to bother. They have booked a hotel for me at Gamla Stan. But thank you.”

“Well… we can meet for lunch nearby where you will be working, but I want you to come and have dinner with us. So you can meet little Alexander.” they both laughed when they little boy answered “jag” (yes) on the background.

“Will do. And… Sofia, thank you for this.”

“Don’t have to thank me.”

“I don’t believe it! It took us one whole week to be able to be together. I think we should both quit our jobs and only date for a living.” Harry said while helping her make dinner at her place.

She simply laughed.

“We chatted everyday though. Even had Skype calls.” she said mixing the ingredients in the pan.

“Not the same as being with you, touching and kissing you. I swear it Carol, our jobs suck.”

“Its not like you can quit yours though...” she smiled and pecked his lips and caressed his face. “But I do appreciate the fact that you missed me and want to spend more time with me.”

“Of course I want to spend more time with you, darling. You are my girl. I have fought so hard to have you. Don’t want to lose you by not being there when you need me.” He was truly concerned about it.

“You are not going to lose me that easily. I do think we should be working less, but with William still in Norfolk and me with all my trips, we are going to have to accept the fact that we are going to be separated most of the time.” she turned off the heat of the stove “Which I think is good… time apart makes us miss each other more.” she bit her lower lip and he kissed her temple.

“I just want this to work. I just want to enjoy while most people don’t know about us.”

“We will make the most of the time we got, babe. Don’t worry.” she started setting the table for them and humming a song.

“Its been a while since you did that.” he said taking a sip of his beer and admiring her.

“Since I did what?” she asked.

“Hummed. You used to that all the time when we were working.”

“You noticed that?” she was surprised. Sometimes she didn’t even realize she was humming the same song.

“Of course I did. At first it drove me nuts, but I have started to enjoy this sound.”

She smiled at him.

“I don’t know this song, though.” he added.

“I will share it with you when I’m ready.” she smiled and they both sat to eat and catch up on their week’s work.

Not in a million years both of them would’ve thought that they would rather spend the night in instead of going out to restaurants, pubs or dance clubs.

They took their time having dinner, did the dishes together and laid on Carol’s bed to watch some TV shows. Carol wanted this now more than ever, this sense of normalcy. Here, inside her apartment it only existed both of them. And she did not had to worry about anything else on this world.

She made herself comfortable in his arms and closed her eyes for a minute to forget the nasty headaches she’s had for longer than she could remember and that now have been joined by heartburn.

“When are you going to Sweden?” he asked.

“Next week. I have bought Alexander lots of gifts.” she said excitedly.

“Have you now?” he laughed. “I swear, you spend all your salary in spoiling kids. First Tommy, now Alexander...”

“Wait until I meet George and Charlotte.” they both laughed at that. “I just love kids. That’s all. If it was for me, I would’ve bought things for Estelle, Oscar and Arthur… but I don’t know Victoria...”

“Yet.” he interrupted her.

“I don’t know Victoria yet… as I was saying…. And I don’t know how she would feel like in receiving gifts from a stranger.”

“Well… she always gets gifts from strangers on her birthday, doesn’t she?”

“But that’s different… completely different.”

“Do you think you are OK to fly? You complained about your heartburn for the whole week. And headaches and flights are a very bad combination.”

“I have to, though. I have been taking lots of meds for that. Hopefully it will pass soon.”

“You know… I should be a therapist. After my slightly push you and Harry started dating.” Sofia said mid lunch when they met.

“You did help me a lot, Sofia. Thank you. But its not easy. Not that I thought it would be. I mean, every relationship is hard. But in our case… its harder.” Carol took a huge sip of water as the heartburn had worsened.

“I will give you that. But so far you guys are doing a great job.” she smiled.

“Thanks.”

“Who else knows?”

“My mom and stepdad, my sister and probably her mom. His immediate staff, Skippy and Lara, Arthur and Alessandra. Julia, a friend of mine and I believe he has informed his grandmother, but  I am not sure. You and Carl Philip as well.” Carol said before taking a bite of the meatball she had ordered.

“I thought he had told William too...”

“Nah… he and William are not really speaking of personal subjects at the moment… He will at some point as it’s been a month since we’re dating.” Carol smiled remembering the exact night he asked her.

“Less people knowing the best...”

“Airplane again?” she asked looking at the little blonde boy that was staring right back at her.

“Jag, jag, jag!!!” Alexander had his arms in the air for she to pick him up and make airplane noises while walking with him around his playroom and watched by his parents.

She picked him up, made the noises and gave three full circles around the couch and his toys and put him on the floor again, quickly sitting and asking the little cherub to sit by her side, as she was completely dizzy and tired of all the times she had done that before.

“Alexander, I am going to take you to London with me!” Carol said, still out of breath and dizzy. “How come a two year old can be so sweet???”

The little boy just smiled and asked Carol to play with the stuffed tiger she had brought him.

Carol tried to learn a few basic Swedish words so the boy would understand her, but they were getting along just fine. She even, for a minute or two, forgot that his parents were in the room and that they were in the middle of a conversation.

After they had dinner and Carl Philip excused himself to put the little boy to bed, Sofia accompanied Carol to the door.

“Are you alright?” she asked.

“Just a heartburn that doesn’t leave me for two weeks now.” she answered.

“Its odd for someone to have that for that long… I really hate heartburn. I’ve had it during my whole pregnancy.” Sofia said and offered her some pills that would help. Carol thanked after she got the small box.

“I did know that I had a few issues with my stomach. Just did not know it was too severe. Already have an appointment when I get back. Thank you again, Sofia for having me.”

“Thank you for visiting and babysitting for us!” they both smiled. “Next time you come our remodel will be ready at Villa Solbacken.”

“Can’t wait for next time.”

Carol went straight to Kensington palace after her plane landed. She only had a quick stop at Boots and then hired a cab outside the airport. She was supposed to go to the office, but she called in sick and her boss was starting to cut her some slack due to how hard she was working these past weeks.

She arrived and saw Martha, Harry’s housekeeper and tried her best to not be rude. Her discomfort had reached a level where she was a bitch even to her shadow. But it wasn’t Martha’s fault. She asked if she could go to Harry’s bedroom or if Martha still needed to clean that. The sweet housekeeper said she could stay anywhere in the cottage and promptly grabbed her luggage to start her laundry. Carol tried to fight and say that it wasn't necessary, but the other woman insisted.

Carol only grabbed her tote and he laptop case and went to Harry’s room. She had texted him on the way saying she was going to his house and if he could meet her there. She said she missed him and that Carl Philip had sent him a few bottles (which was true).

She paced his bedroom for a whole five minutes both trying to see if that would relieve this fucking heartburn she was feeling. She was waiting for the meds to kick in. Sofia’s meds really did help and she made sure to buy a few more before she left Sweden. Also she was trying to be bold and do something that was echoing in her mind.

Deciding that there was no point in delaying the inevitable, she opened her bag, got the package she bought at Boots and went to the bathroom.

After a quick shower, she was wearing Harry’s pajamas when he arrived. Happy to see her and concerned because he had been informed that she wasn’t 100% well while in Sweden.

She hugged him tighter than ever. She needed him and his assurance.

She needed his smell and his body. She needed him beside her today more than ever.

“Hey… babe. What’s wrong. I am here. Do you want to go to the ER?” Harry whispered calmly while caressing her wet hair.

She just needed his embrace and presence, for she didn’t know for how long she would have it.

“Tell me what you need.”

“You” she whispered back.

“I am here.” he answered.

“Do you plan on staying? Through thick and thin?”

“Of course, Carolina. Have you gone mental? You’re my ride or die. The love of my live.” he answered and looked at her. She was crying and he didn’t know why.

“You promise?” she asked while he was drying her tears.

“Of course, I promise. What happened to you, darling?”

She tried to tell him. She really did. But her tears and her nervousness took the best of her.

She simply hold his hand and took him to his en suite bathroom.

There, on the marble top of the sink was something that would change their lives forever.

Staring at them as if they have a bright arrow pointing at it stood three pregnancy tests.

Harry didn’t understand what it meant for a moment and approached.

And he saw the most bright pink straws on the three of them.

N/A: FRESH NEW CHAPTER FOR YOU.

Already working on the next one.

Hope you enjoy it.

I truly missed you guys.

#Whenyoutelltheworldyouremine phff princeharryfanfiction fanfiction royalfanfiction brf britishroyalfamily chapter:47

[telltheworld-phff]

There’s a new chapter today. Stay tuned.

Update Soon Please!

I hope you’ll update soon. I’m so in love with this story! Its by far the most romantic Prince Harry fanfic in my book😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️

[telltheworld-phff]

Update Soon Please!

I hope you'll update soon. I'm so in love with this story! Its by far the most romantic Prince Harry fanfic in my book😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️

[telltheworld-phff]

Just found your story and binge-reading it !!! Saw that you had links to Polyvore outfits, but since they've closed down, do you have the JPEG you can link or have you transferred your sets to another website?

Hi... thank you for reading.

Unfortunately I still haven’t found the time to re-do the outfits. I am studying again, working and planning a wedding myself. 

But it is something I do want to do. Will keep you posted. 

Thank you for your message.

[telltheworld-phff]

Their officially together!!!! I loooovvvvveee this story. It’s unbelievable how invested I am in Carolina and Harry’s relationship. I can’t wait for you to update the next chapter. Do you have a plan for when they are going to to go public with their relationship?

They are!!!

Although they are dating, Carol is still very insecure about the media and such. Their plan is to be a secret for as long as they can... that’s their plan, but not what is going to happen. :)

Thank you for your message!!! 

[telltheworld-phff]

Chapter 46, part II: My best friend’s wedding

Carol woke up embraced in a warm body.

A body that she learned to recognize anywhere, anytime. She knew where a few scars would be, where he had freckles and where his muscles were the strongest. She knew every detail by heart and she loved it.

She yawned and smiled. Because she was home. Although away from home, she would be home whenever Harry was close.

She looked up and saw his sleeping face, his mouth slightly open and she took her time to just enjoy this moment, to listen to his breath and to feel her heart warm up in a feeling that she couldn’t deny anymore. This was love. His love had proved itself strong enough to make her slowly but surely leave her fears behind and start this journey with him.

She caressed his beard and his chest with her fingertips and he stirred in his sleep.

“Morning, sleepyhead.” she said when noticed he was awake.

“Morning?” he answered and his voice made her heart skip a beat. “Have we slept for that long?”

“Just a way of saying…. It’s high noon. It will get dark soon, though.” she said.

He kissed her forehead and tightened his embrace.

“I have missed you, Carol.” he whispered.

“So have I, Harry.” she answered back without even thinking about it.

She leaned in and pecked his lips. She longed there just a little bit more and he smiled.

“I think we should get dressed and go say hi to your family. We don’t want to be the anti-social couple. Do we?” he smiled.

“I don’t care if we stay in this bed… It’s so comfortable and food is just a call away.” she pouted. “We need to have our time together.”

“I know, babe… But remember, we are here for your mum’s wedding. We can’t stay locked in the room the whole trip. Even though I have some great ideas for you and me and this room...” he wiggled his eyebrows and she laughed.

“We are sharing then?” she said sitting up on the bed.

“Absolutely!” he jokingly bit her lips. “Shower with me?”

“Harry… you just said we have to mingle….” she answered suspicious.

“Carol! What a dirty mind you got, yes… I invited you for a shower and not for a quickie.”

“I know you well enough, Wales.” she said “But if you’re not up for it… OK.”

They both laughed and made their way to the bathroom.

“Well… we are in paradise and missing each other. A quickie will do… for now.”

Carol and Harry wandered around the hotel, to get to know the facilities and to solve last minutes errands for the rehearsal dinner. She and Hailey talked to the wedding planner about seats, security and other surprises they had prepared for their parents big day.

Tonight would be their welcome night, with a tropical dinner and lots of Brazilian music.

Maria, as always thoughtful, had arranged things in a way that Harry didn’t feel misplaced. She introduced him, as her son, to the few relatives she had invited to the ceremony. Most of them did not speak English but Maria found a way to make everyone understand what he meant. Also, she made sure to have a few typical Brazilian foods for him to try and other safe options in case he didn’t like them.

Carol watched her mom bond with Harry, while catching up with her grandmother with a smile in her face. She made sure to talk with everyone, they all wanted to know how life in London was treating her and obviously how she ended up dating a prince. About their newly growing relationship Carol gave evasive answers and changed the subject. It’s not that she didn’t trust them, she did. But she didn’t feel comfortable in sharing details about their relationship yet.

She still was a great mystery to the press and she wanted it to be that way for as long as she could. It’s not like she didn’t trust her family and friends, but she didn’t know who might overheard if she gave too much details and leaked it to the press. This was going to be her life from now own, double think every single thing she was going to say and to whom. Be careful of who might overheard or if something is taken out of context.

It was way past midnight when dinner was over and just the immediate family was sitting on the sand, with drinks and snacks and a fire pit, chatting.

Harry had brought a light blanket when he saw that Carol was getting cold because of the soft wind and how close they were to the sea.

She was sitting between his legs, and he wrapped her with the blanket. And when he was not speaking or laughing at the jokes Flavio and Hailey were telling, he was giving soft kisses near her ear or on the top of her head.

“Maria” Harry asked “Você ansiosa?” [You anxious?] - He surprised everyone when he asked in Portuguese. A very heavy accented Portuguese, but understandable.

“Não.” Maria answered. “Eu acredito que ansiedade é quando você tem medo do desconhecido. E eu não tenho mais medo. Eu estou calma. Só quero que tudo saia como planejado.” - Carol helped filling the gaps of what he didn’t understand. [No. I believe anxiety works when you are afraid of the unknown. And I am not afraid anymore. I am serene. Just want that everything goes as planned.]

“Are you anxious?” Maria asked him and everyone knew what she meant.

“Not anxious, no. But I want her to be protected and safe. And I know that sometimes I won’t be able to provide it… and it makes me uncomfortable. It took us long enough to get to this point where I earned her trust and hopefully her heart… I don’t want exterior issues to jeopardize this.”

“Making a relationship work is a hard task… for you, will be even harder. But I do believe that you have built a very great foundation.”

“So do we, mãe.” Carol answered sipping her champagne glass.

The next day was a beach day and they all were going from a beach to another, they went diving (and even spotted a small shark), they swam and they ate the amazing food the hotel staff prepared.

They played card games (and Harry was beaten by Carol’s grandma every time – that she started to suspect he was letting her win on purpose), drank the best drinks and napped.

After having an amazing day, tonight was the rehearsal dinner and he had prepared a speech, that if opportunity came, he would speak.

After Maria and Flavio thanked everyone for their presence and Hailey said a few words of how happy she was to be part of this family and how happy she was for her dad, Harry asked if he could say something, because he knew that Carol had skipped the speeches because she would not be able to finish one without crying her eyes out.

“I know that I am the last person you expected to say anything tonight… but I will give it a shot.

When I first met Carol, and yes, Hailey, I am starting the speech talking about her, I knew she was a strong woman. This is something you notice about her anytime she walks in a room. Her strong presence, her manners, her politeness and her heart… you notice all of this on Carol and this is what makes her this indescribable woman that I had the pleasure to meet… and date.”

A few people clapped their hands and cheered.

“But… I couldn’t help but think that all of this didn’t come by itself or without a price. When I came to learn their history and all the hardships they faced and later, when I finally met Maria I understood why Carol was the way she is. Because Maria is not only beautiful and caring and motherly. She is fierce. She faced everything life threw at her with her head held high. She made sure to teach her daughter how to treat people, how to fight for what she deserves, how to pursue her dreams...” he took a sip of water and continued. “And I am very happy to see the woman who since day one didn’t look at my title but at myself and embraced me as her son. The woman that goes out of her way to make me feel comfortable, cared for and well fed… might I add… to find such a great man that will know how to value this preciosity. Not only find but re-encounter. Your love history has had ups and downs and you both arrived here today proving all odds wrong… and your respect and love is something that I do want to mirror into my relationship. Thank you for allowing me to be here today and to have me as a part of your family. I have come to really think of you as my family and I wish nothing but happiness and joy and love to your new married journey. And hope that, one day, we will repeat this trip. With grandchildren for your to spoil and remember the good times we shared. To Maria and Flavio.” he raised the glass of wine and when he looked at the girls of the family, they all were crying their eyes out.

Maria was the first to embrace him and whisper something in his ears. Something that not even Carol was able to find out what it was… even though she tried. This was their little secret.

“You are going to dehydrate me, Wales!” Caro said drying her tears. “I didn’t know you had prepared a speech for tonight. It was very, very beautiful and touching.” she said pecking his lips.

“Hope you liked it… it is one of my charms.” they laughed and Hailey threw her napkin at him.

They danced for a while but everyone was calling for an early night as the wedding was set to start in the morning.

Harry asked Carol to walk with him. She took off her heels and with their hands intertwined they walked in silence for a couple of minutes under the big, bright full moon and the stars. Listening to the waves and feeling the breeze.

They had not felt more connected than in this moment. They both knew it.

“I need to ask you something.” Harry said just above a whisper.

“You can ask me anything.” Carol answered and looked at him. They stopped and he held both of her hands. Gave a soft kiss on her knuckles and smiled.

“Você quer namorar comigo?” [Do you want to be my girlfriend?] he said slowly to make sure she would understand what he was asking. Hailey had told him, that in Brazil you have to ask someone to be your girlfriend and not just date and the status changing as it goes.

He also made sure to learn how to ask her this, in her mother language, because he listened to every time she said she was homesick and missing speaking Portuguese. He had enrolled with a private tutor to learn a few things… he just didn’t know how hard this language was. It would take more time than he initially thought. But it was worth it. He repeated these words in his head all the time, to make sure he would not forget them, or their right order. But also, these words meant a lot to them… and he wanted to be sure that when he asked her this question, the only answer she would give would be a positive one.

Carol was very surprised when she heard what he said and she smiled. Smiled and felt a single tear roll down her cheeks.

“Yes!” she said hugging him tightly. “Sim, sim, sim!”

He did a dramatic intake of air, as in relief, and twirled her.

“Our first kiss, as officially boyfriend-girlfriend, will be under the stars?” she said.

“Of course… I am a romantic man, Carolina. Had it all planned in my head.”

He held her face with both hands and whispered “You have no idea of how happy I am” before he kissed her. Gently, with no rush, showing her all the love he felt and that was burning and growing inside him. Now he could yell to everyone who would be able to hear that he had the most amazing girlfriend. That she was his. With all her perks, the good days and the bad. She was his and he would honor her trust until the day he died.

Carol was overwhelmed with such tenderness and thoughtfulness Harry was proving to be someone worthy of her heart… and tonight… she would give it to him.

Freely.

Lovingly.

And with no regrets.

They would face the world, his world, together… as long as they had each other. Nothing else mattered. Not anymore. Not today.

The kiss soon escalated, and the natural lust they felt for each other took the best of them. They needed to seal this moment, to be united as one. To show how much they loved each other.

Harry carefully laid her on the sand, loving the idea of being left alone from the guards. There was only them on the beach.

Harry

Carolina

and the moon.

They reached the climax together, at the same time a shooting star crossed the sky.

Hailey knocked on Carol’s door way too early in the morning. And before Carol complained, she remembered what they had promised each other. To have a time to themselves before the wedding. A time for them to just take a break and a breath of all the planning and just stop to enjoy Noronha’s views, because this was paradise and they needed a moment of calm. A moment to bond - even more - as sisters.

So she got up, changed clothes and kissed Harry’s sleepy forehead before she left the room.

She smiled at her sister and side hugged her.

They walked towards the beach and got their feet wet at the sea.

“We look like two twelve year old girls.” Hailey pointed out.

“I do know that my twelve year old me would love to do this.” Carol said.

“Mine as well...”

“We’re becoming a real family today, huh?” Hailey only nodded. “And I want you to know that I won’t always be a role model and sometimes I am quite the bitch, but I will always be there for you. To support, love and to just be there when you need me the most. Our parents getting married is not a present for them, it is also for us. Because now we are not alone anymore. And I want you to know that I love you, baby sister.”

“Why do you always have to point out that I am the youngest?”

“Because you are!”

Hailey splashed some water at Carol.

“I will be here for you as well, Carol… you know… of everyone in the world my dad found his old love and it came as a bonus. They are happy and so are we. That’s what matters.”

“It is.”

“I am looking forward to be the cool aunt to princesses and princes, though….” Carol laughed. “You are doing this, aren’t you?”

“I am. I wasn’t sure if I should before, but how can I turn away from such love and tenderness? He really is the prince charming, although I don’t tell it to him as often. The hardships we will face together...”

“At the end of the day, family is what really matters.”

Maria had chosen to walk down the aisle by herself. She would meet with Carol and Hailey midway and they would go together.

The officiant’s speech was very beautiful and touching and everyone was a bit moved by his words. Harry had held Carol’s hand for the whole service and she was leaning into him while she watched her mom get married to the love of her life.

Thankfully everything was perfect and went how it was planned.

The party was amazing, just like the food and the sweets.

They had an amazing time as a family and enjoyed themselves.

Maria and Flavio were officially husband and wife, and Hailey and Carol were officially sisters.

Everything seemed to be on its right place.

HOPE YOU LIKE IT.

#When you tell the world you're mine #Fanfic #Fanfiction #Prince Harry #Prince Harry fanfic #Prince Harry Fanfiction #Royal Family #British Royal Family #BRF #Chapter:46