thisprinceis-hopping-blog

[thisprinceis-hopping-blog]

Happy.

If Rapunzel hadn't mentioned that word, Nav thought maybe he could have kept up the act he'd spent the last few months crafting. He thought maybe he could even have a future with being an actor should he ever felt the need to pursue such a thing, because his ability to fake a smile had become second nature.

"You didn't," Nav said, his voice cracking with a sort of pain he hadn't been able to express yet. It was the kind of pain you ignored, buried, smothered because acknowledging it made the cause of the pain real, and Nav wasn't ready to face that yet.

His hand slipped from Rapunzel's cheek and fell back to his side as he stood up, burying his face in his hands as his features crumbled into something unrecognizable.

"God, Rapunzel, how do I even say those things and act like they're true?" he spat out, not in anger, but in hurt. He wanted the words as far away from him as possible, because they were dirty, and wrong, and awful because Wendy was his wife. She was supposed to be his wife, his forever, and instead he could feel her slipping through his fingers the way her hair did as he carded his hands through the locks, her chest rising and falling as she slept, probably dreaming of being somewhere else.

"It hurts. It fucking hurts. I grew, and I changed, and I matured and became someone I'm damn proud of being, but what the hell is it even worth if the person who caused that change is finding solace and warmth from someone else?" he choked out, alarmed to feel tears slip onto his cheeks, his voice strained and tired, feeling like his whole body was on fire. He wondered how hard it would be to run to the nearest cliff and fling himself from it. He imagined the rocks would be softer than whatever it was he was feeling in that moment.

"I can't do it," Nav admitted, sitting back down, this time on the ground. "I can't lose her, and I can't pretend that losing her won't destroy me for your sake. I love you, Rapunzel, in so many ways that I don't even fully understand, but Wendy is Wendy. And she's my wife and it's not supposed to be like this."

He pounded the ground with his fist, not caring that it was concrete, that his knuckles split open, as he yelled out this time, voice hurt and shattering like glass.

"It's not supposed to be like this!"

If You Put it Down, Maybe We Could Fall in Love || Rapunzeen

#this hurt to write

[thisprinceis-hopping-blog]

Nav spotted a bench and sat down, leaving Rapunzel the option to continue to stand if she wanted. "You wouldn't be imposing. I think it might actually be impossible to impose on Wendy, she's the most accommodating person I've ever met." Nav caught himself doing that a lot lately. He didn't spend his time gushing about his wife, and when he did they were qualities that one wouldn't normally expect a husband to gush about.

He listened to Rapunzel, leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "It's hard not to admire your strength, you know. Realizing you're no longer in love with someone isn't an easy thing to come to terms with, if you ever do." He leaned back against the back of the bench, tucking his hands into the pocket of his hoodie. "It's also selfless of you. Nobody wants to marry under false pretenses, and no marriage that begins like that will ever end well. Because it'll have an ending."

And then without any warning, though if he were being honest with himself, there had always been plenty of warning, Rapunzel's heart was sitting in front of him. She was inviting him to take it without really inviting him. Because she was Rapunzel. Beautiful, selfless, self sacrificing Rapunzel who would be the first to tell him to always be with Wendy, and the last to ask him to be with her.

He listened, let her get it all out, and waited a long moment before speaking.

"I asked Wendy to marry me so that I wouldn't lose her," Nav said, memories of the panic he'd felt at losing the Darling girl forever rushing through him. "And because I loved her, granted. But if not presented with that situation, I don't think Wendy and I would be married right now. And she could say the same thing. I'm almost certain she would say the same thing." 

Nav closed his eyes for a moment, smiling softly for a moment. "I needed Wendy. I always did. Without her, I would still be that boy you met on the first day, with the cocky smile and attitude to match. I still have all that, but I like to think I'm a lot nicer with it."

He laughed at himself suddenly, lifting a hand and cupping Rapunzel's cheek, studying her face, her eyes, the way her breath met the cold. "I don't even know what I'm saying. It's like I'm sitting here justifying my marriage to you, to myself, to everyone when I've been trying to avoid the inevitable fact that it's over. Love bites on your wife that you know you didn't leave behind doesn't speak of a faithful relationship. And I can never hold any resentment toward Wendy for that, because as much as I loved and still do love her, I'll never be able to say that she was the girl that I saw coming toward me on the path that I knew would be the reason I could never leave this school behind."

Nav exhaled softly, shrugging.

"That girl was you."

If You Put it Down, Maybe We Could Fall in Love || Rapunzeen

#my feels though

[thisprinceis-hopping-blog]

Nav threw his arm around Rapunzel's shoulder, tucking her neatly into his side as they started off along the path. "I try to give people gifts that reflect who they are, so naturally everything I've gotten you has been beautiful, my dear Pepper." He grinned, letting out a small laugh that became a visual in the cold, Scotland air. "We certainly shall. It's been too long."

Rapunzel had barely had time to state that she wasn't going home for break before Nav was waving the hand not gripping her shoulder, letting out a small scoff. He knew he didn't need to mollycoddle her, didn't need to offer her a tissue or a night to insult the male race as a whole because her relationship was obviously going to shit. She was Rapunzel, and all she'd ever expected from him was his presence. So he could give that. "Nonsense. You can come to the castle. We have more rooms than we know what to do with, and if my mother keeps harassing me about 'that lovely Rapunzel girl' I might have to lock myself in our damn dungeons." He squeezed her shoulders. "You're not staying here for Christmas, my silly little wench."

His eyes wandered to her empty finger, and he felt a pang of empathy in his chest for his best friend. "Or you could pawn it, if you feel the need to be stressful," he said with a small laugh. "I really am sorry, though. For whatever happened. And I'm here. But you know that." Nav raised an eyebrow, glancing down at her. "Oh? Okay. I'm all ears. All two of them."

If You Put it Down, Maybe We Could Fall in Love || Rapunzeen

#yolo and such

[thisprinceis-hopping-blog]

Nav fished around for a clean hoodie as the printer finished spitting out a picture of Rapunzel's gift, since the real one still hadn't arrived. He found a dark brown one, tugging it on over his undershirt, glad he'd already had on jeans. The room was empty, no Wendy in sight, though her little tornado of schoolwork left evidence that she did still exist. During the end of the semester, they both fell into the routine of being normal high school students, swamped with work, and the only time he saw her was when they fell asleep in each other's arms each night. But thankfully, Christmas approached and soon he would get some actual time with his wife.

The printer finished its job, and that brought Nav's mind back to the other woman in his life that he was excited to spend quality time with: Rapunzel. They hadn't necessarily drifted this semester, but they'd certainly seen less and less of each other, and he wanted to check up on his best friend. He had no idea what the status of her pregnancy was, of her baby, of anything really. And he wanted to change that.

Picture in hand, Nav had barely stepped outside before arms were wrapped around his waist. "Hey, you," he said, noticing with a pang that her stomach was definitely not carrying a baby any longer. "I told you I'd bring a picture of your present."

If You Put it Down, Maybe We Could Fall in Love || Rapunzeen

Rapunzel inhaled a deep breath, was this a mistake? Was she risking the loss of her best friend just to say those three simple words to him? No, there was much more to what she wanted to say to Nav. It was just centered around the fact that she was surely falling in love with him, if not already in love with him. She slid from her bed, stretched a little bit and moved over to the mirror hanging on the back of her door. As much as she knew that Nav won’t care what she looked like, she didn’t want to look like bum when she told him what her heart pleaded with her to say. It’d been pleading with her for weeks now, maybe even a month or so. But she couldn’t bare to lose Nav, or even hurt Wendy. It wasn’t as if Wendy had done anything to her. But she knew, that if she didn’t say something it would eat at her. She just hoped, that whatever his response was, that he would stay her best friend. She mulled over her appearance for a moment before moving over to her closet. She’d spent the past weeks in her sweats, and figured that wasn’t the best way to show up. She didn’t mull over her outfit choice for very long, though she cared not to look like a bum, she wasn’t one to spend hours in front of the mirror getting ready.

She tousled her hair for a moment, letting it drop in slight curls around her shoulders. “Well, it’s not going to get much better.” She breathed, shoving her phone into her pocket before sliding her arms into the sleeves of her pea-coat and heading out the door. She skipped down the steps one by one, her hands shoved into her pockets, and her stomach slowly filling with nerves. Even once she turned slightly, thinking about turning back from the decision to tell him. Don’t let him be the one that got away. Ricky’s words echoed through her mind, and with a deep breath she exited out the building. The air was chilled, and it nipped at her cheeks lightly, but she paid no mind to that as she made it to the spot where she and Nav were meeting. All things put aside, he was her best friend, and she was looking forward to seeing him. It seemed like forever since they’d hung out just the two of them. She couldn’t help the smile that tugged up the corners of her mouth as she spotted him, and habitually she wrapped her arms around him in a hug. 

“Hey.” She breathed once she finally pulled away from the hug. Suddenly she wasn’t so afraid to tell him, and she’d gone over what she would say over a thousand times with Ricky on Skype. You can do this Rapunzel. She told herself. 

#shhhh no it's fine! #i also have no idea if they're still in school yolo

[thisprinceis-hopping-blog]

I expect nothing less, Pepper.

Then I'll meet you outside in five. With a picture of your present since the real thing isn't in yet.

My birthday was a few days ago...

#i'm totally up for a para #just watching jersey shore over here

[thisprinceis-hopping-blog]

I have more money than I'll ever be able to spend. Let me get rid of some of it, wench.

Any time. When Rapunzel calls, I'll always come running.

My birthday was a few days ago...

#it's my wifi 'cause i'm downstairs #but yay!

[thisprinceis-hopping-blog]

I'm glad you're figuring this out after over a year of friendship. Though I don't expect you to ever stop harping on me about it. It's part of the fun.

A walk. I can do a walk. I like walks.

My birthday was a few days ago...

#your gifs aren't showing up for me #so i'm kinda just taking a shot in the dark with mine lmao

[thisprinceis-hopping-blog]

I like to give you time with your best friend, and I also like to give you pretty jewelry. A win-win for both of us.

My birthday was a few days ago...

[thisprinceis-hopping-blog]

Nav is here. Arguing with people who promised your present would be shipped in time for your birthday, but who still doesn't have said present in his possession.

My birthday was a few days ago...

Guess I forgot to mention that.

Not that I care all that much, I just wanna find Nav…

[thisprinceis-hopping-blog]

I am not a handful. More like.. a pinch-ful. A large pinch. That is made with two fists. Your details about my handful-ness bore me. Stop being on such good terms with my mother, you two love to humiliate me. Well, we'll go to one of the many we hold throughout the year, how about that? It's not that I don't care, silly, it's that you look beautiful no matter what. Well, I'll be there. No need to be afraid. Since I'm all macho and stuff.

I feel like I've all but disappeared completely...

#idk #what have we dONE

[thisprinceis-hopping-blog]

Were? You know I'm still a handful, ma'am. Yes, a ball. The whole masquerade thing with fancy dancing. And you look stunning in an evening gown, but I'd much rather see you in jeans and a hoodie, leading me through some silly, fake place that's meant to scare me, and certainly won't. Or at least I'll tell you it won't.

I feel like I've all but disappeared completely...

#I JUST PUNCHED MYSELF IN THE FACE KATIE WHY

[thisprinceis-hopping-blog]

Could you imagine trying to send a little prince out trick or treating? Nah, we didn't mess with it. Though we did have a ball. Hmm. I wonder if I'm expected at that this year. A haunted house sounds much more appealing than wearing a tux.

I feel like I've all but disappeared completely...

#me #too

[thisprinceis-hopping-blog]

That's very true. You understand me quite well, my dear. I think you know what I'm going to do before I've even considered doing it. I'm so excited, of course! I didn't do much with Halloween in Maldonia, so this is always exciting.

I feel like I've all but disappeared completely...

#falls onto the floor

[thisprinceis-hopping-blog]

Always call me when you need stuff like that 'cause it's not silly, and I normally get food out of it. We both win. This is fantastic news. Mutual selfishness is always the best kind.

I feel like I've all but disappeared completely...

#gonna cry #they're so per #f #perf #there we go

[thisprinceis-hopping-blog]

But I call for a reason, my dear. So naturally, you're supposed to show up. I wouldn't give you that travel card for nothing. Don't consider me wrapping you around my finger. Think of it more as me keeping you tucked in my shirt pocket to keep others away from you. I'm incredibly selfish when it comes to you, Pepper.

I feel like I've all but disappeared completely...

#rude ass D

[thisprinceis-hopping-blog]

Always dragging me along. You know you've got me wrapped around your finger. Especially since I let you call me Navie like I'm a two year old. 

I feel like I've all but disappeared completely...

#NO I'M CRY THEY'RE SO PERFECT I'M HAVING SO MANY FEELS

[thisprinceis-hopping-blog]

That was kind of the plan in asking you to dress up with me but I can spell it out. I miss your wench self, and want to hang out.

I feel like I've all but disappeared completely...

#LOOK AT THEIR SMILES THEY'RE SO IN LOVE #I'M SO DONE WITH EVERYTHING I'M LIGHTING NAV ON FIRE #KATIE HOLD ME