tlm-oof-horror-movie-reviews

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Praise Jesus? That’s fucking pushing it! This shit’s about as far from god as shit can get! Either of you ever seen anything like that? You even heard of anything like that? Huh? Me neither… and I watch Animal Planet all the fucking time!

SLITHER (2006)

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Night of the Creeps dir. Fred Dekker, 1986

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Found this little gem and it looks like a slew of parts in the series. It has some problems but I’m enjoying it!

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WNUF Halloween Special (2013)

A fun throwback to the golden days of TV before the rampant proliferation of cable and a loving tribute to VHS.  Supposedly shown on local TV station WNUF28 on Halloween night 1983, it is a collection of segments and commercials recorded by an unknown individual that showcase the eponymous special: a tour of an infamous murder house live with paranormal investigators.  Special props to all the actors for their believable banter and spot-on imitations of the era’s political ads, local business commercials, and popular entertainment.  The ‘scary’ story at the heart of the film isn’t really scary but you can’t help but admire the craft and care taken to recreate 1983.  Highly enjoyable for those that remember VHS tapes and local access TV.  (3/5)

#wnuf halloween special #horror #horror movies #found footage #VHS #reviews #capsule reviews #amazon prime #uploads #order of flies

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Apostle (2018) [Netflix Original]

Another Netflix original movie but one that is very well acted, well directed, and quite interesting. In some ways I would compare it to The VVitch as they are both period pieces about devoutly religious people as the world around them falls to pieces.  Both films portray the depths of human evil and find it more interesting than supernatural evil (but make no mistake, the supernatural is definitely present in both films).  At the start of the 20th Century, scarred former missionary Thomas is contacted by a solicitor that his sister, Jennifer, has been kidnapped by a religious cult who demand a high ransom.  Posing as an acolyte, Thomas ventures to the Welsh island controlled by the cult.

What follows is equal parts Wicker Man and The VVitch, with gradually increasing understanding of the bizarre rituals and beliefs of the pagan cult combined with the intrigue of discovering the history of the colony and its three leaders. Gruesome, violent, and hard are the best words to describe the film with intense scenes of violence and some truly sadistic work in the third act rounding out the themes of faith and hope. While not reaching the heights of The Wicker Man, it does best The VVitch in my humble opinion as the language barrier and purposefully slow approach in the latter undercuts the singular darkly sublime ending.  Apostle ends in really the only way it could and on its own terms.  (3.5/5)

#apostle #netflix #horror movies #horror #reviews #capsule reviews #thriller #michael sheen #the witch #wicker man #uploads #order of flies

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Malevolent (2018) [Netflix Original]

This is an interesting and at times infuriating horror film.  Con-artist Jackson and his university-student sister, Angela, run a fake paranormal investigation service – promising to cleanse houses and help spirits pass to the other side.  In actuality, with the help of Jackson’s girlfriend Beth and puppy-dog-eyed student Elliot, they fake the voices and phenomena for profit.  An indeterminate time earlier, the siblings’ mother clawed her eyes out to stop her visions of ghosts.  Unfortunately for the family no one believed her and her ‘gift’ was dismissed as mental illness.  During a routine con, Angela sees the actual ghost they were supposed to cleanse and brushes it off as a prank but as time goes on it becomes clear that whatever runs in their family has finally manifested.

Jackson, meanwhile, is in deep with some shady characters that are never addressed and, following an unfortunate meeting with a baseball bat, must take a cherry case in the English countryside.  Angela reluctantly agrees despite her mental unease and they tromp out to a charming manor where several foster girls were hideously murdered, lips sewn shut.  In all, the first act of the film is pretty good with great performances by the cast, cold cinematography, and a looming sense of dread.

Then the film falls apart.  Much like The Boy (the 2016 wide-release doll film, not the indie 2015 sociopath film with Rainn Wilson) this is an uneven film that wants to have it’s paranormal cake and eat it too.  While Celia Imrie is excellent in that particularly proper British way, the rest of the cast aren’t as good as they think they are, with Ben Lloyd-Hughes’ Jackson being a particular error as he struts and slinks through scenes looking like a British Matthew McConaughey.  The twists and turns of the plot are telegraphed and almost routine when we finally reach the climax.  In all, it is a fun watch but not something you haven’t seen before or something you really need to pay attention to despite a promising beginning. (1.5/5)

#malevolent #netflix #horror #horror movies #suspense #thrillers #reviews #capsule reviews #uploads #order of flies

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La Entidad (The Entity) (2015)

A Peruvian found footage horror movie that barely qualifies as such. College filmmakers pursue information regarding a paranormal YouTube video that seemingly shows…something?  We never really see anything in the footage but apparently, it’s shocking enough for the group to traipse around a cemetery at night running around like the worst Blair Witch impersonators ever.  A lot of nonsense ensues.  Some ideas are…well, not novel but at least less predictable than the rest of the film.  A tense encounter in a library with spinning wheels to move the stacks is eerie and bringing in K’iche Mayan folklore is interesting, but the blasé attitude and poor acting bring down any attempts at scares.  Watch out for the 3D footage of the entity at work in the last third, complete with people swinging around on the worst flying rigs ever constructed.  Anyone looking for a comprehensible plot and passable acting should pass on this effort.  (0/5)

#la entidad #the entity #horror #horror movies #reviews #capsule reviews #uploads #order of flies

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Leaving D.C. (2012)

A odd found-footage horror film about a man with emotional issues leaving Washington D.C. and moving into a remote rural house.  Soon after he begins hearing strange things in the woods at night and discovers some dark secrets of the house.  Typical stuff ensues.  Not really much imagination on display here, although the setup is fairly unique given the mental circumstances of the protagonist, and the attempts to humanize the witless man who only exists to convey the scares is laughably abrupt and awkward.  Like most films of this genre it was made for a pittance and does have some eerie moments but ends abruptly and without answers.  I’d give it a miss quite honestly. (0.5/5)

#Leaving D.C. #horror #horror movies #reviews #capsule reviews #uploads #order of flies

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Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum (2018)

This one is kind of hard to review since it bears a STRIKING similarity to Grave Encounters (2011) but instead of filming a paranormal investigative TV show, the unlucky team are streaming their investigation live on the internet. Mix-in some of Blair Witch’s frenetic action with a healthy dose of Korean cultural mysticism and you have an entertaining found footage gem.  Intrepid paranormal blogger Ha-Joon runs a YouTube channel called Horror Times and introduces us to a viral video of 2 teenage boys in a supposedly haunted abandoned Gonjiam Psychiatric Hospital. The youths attempt to open a cursed Room 402 before the picture cuts and Ha-Joon gravely states that both boys disappeared.  In the spirit of all great found footage bad ideas, he announces that Horror Times will be streaming live from Gonjiam with his team and they will be opening the door to 402!  What follows is a pretty standard found footage introduction to our sacrificial lambs: 3 girls and 3 boys eager to see paranormal activity, and the unique GoPro set-up allowing for simultaneous footage of both their faces and what they see.  There are the standard twists – I can honestly say that it pains me to admit that the film doesn’t really have any surprises – but the setting and exorcism ritual shown in the second act keeps things interesting.  This is not a boring film, it just is a lot of what we’ve seen before.  It’s not necessarily a bad thing – the film does everything right and is really effective but doesn’t try to reinvent the wheel.  An excellent movie to pair with Grave Encounters for a found-footage-insane-asylum-searching-paranormal-investigation double feature! (4/5)

This one was a lot of fun and in some ways smooths out the worse parts of Grave Encounters’ found footage conceit.  Asian ghosts have always been scary, insane asylums have always been scary, put the two together and you have a nice little slice of horror.  The fact that it’s based on the real Gonjiam Psychiatric Hospital and the stories told about it adds to the creep factor.

#gonjiam: haunted asylum #gonjiam #horror #horror movies #found footage #reviews #capsule reviews #uploads #order of flies

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Survive the Hollow Shoals (2018)

Another found footage horror movie, this time about a survivalist looking to best a challenge to live off the land for 2 weeks in the Ozarks.  The main character is fairly likable but has a very blasé manner that makes his fright when the spirits start messing with him seem forced.  The shoe-string budget does make effective use of the forest at night but that’s a trick we’ve seen in 2 Blair Witch movies already and the Halloween Store masks don’t help sell the terror.  Watching the man build his shelter and eat grubs and roots is pretty boring but the frenzied sound design during the nights is almost enough to make it worth a watch.  I’d say it’s certainly better than Leaving D.C. and Steelmanville Road but isn’t as entertaining as Bad Ben or Badder Ben. (1/5)

#survive the hollow shoals #horror #horror movies #found footage #reviews #capsule reviews #uploads #order of flies

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Bad Ben: The Mandala Effect (2018) [The Bad Bennening]

So apparently the Bad Ben Trilogy has become the Bad Ben Universe. Nigel Bach returns as luckless Tom Riley giving us a smattering of different versions of how the original Bad Ben could have gone. However, there is no framing device for the alternate universes so the movie just kind of feels choppy then abruptly ends.  Don’t expect any lore or new story beats, this is strictly by the numbers.  If you feel like seeing Tom get killed repeatedly by the malevolent forces in the house, this one is for you; otherwise, it’s an enjoyable return to the Bad Ben universe if a slight excuse for a movie. (1/5)

#bad ben #nigel bach #bad ben: the mandala effect #horror #horror movies #reviews #capsule reviews #uploads #order of flies

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Badder Ben: The Final Chapter (2017) [...or is it?]

The last of the Bad Ben trilogy brings us back to Tom Riley (director Nigel Bach) following the events of the original film.  Living out of a tent in the woods but inexplicably able to afford 2-3 cigars a week, Tom is lured back to the house on Steelmanville Road by a documentary crew led by a plucky medium, disassociated cameraman, and Tom look-alike producer.  It goes as well as you would expect, coming across like a sequel to Evil Dead if Ash was forced to return to the cabin by a trio of numbnuts documentarians.  Tom’s character is funny and it seems like Bach realized that the cult status of his first movie was predicated upon the mixture of humor and horror (despite the humor being unintentional…I think) and ramps up the humor for this outing.  There are some lingering CGI effects from Steelmanville Road lurking in this film but the characters and acting are better making this a satisfying sequel/denouement to the Bad Ben trilogy.  (3/5)

#bad ben #badder ben #nigel bach #horror #horror movies #reviews #capsule reviews #uploads #order of flies

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Steelmanville Road (2017) [Bad Ben 2: Electric Boogaloo]

This prequel to Bad Ben tells the story of Rachel and Matt, the previous owners of the house on Steelmanville Road and how they run afoul of the spirits and demons of the house.  This is just…not a good film.  Unlike the original Bad Ben there are no hints of satire or humor, just bad actors delivering some truly horrible dialogue unconvincingly.  The use of truly cheap CGI ghosts and immersion-breaking cinematography brings this film down even more in my opinion.  Unlike the original, this one feels like a slog.  (0/5)

Strictly speaking the film does have some moments where a jump-scare happens and it's effective but the cons far outweigh the pros.  This film really doesn't give you anything new to the backstory, just a 'straight' horror version of the events of Bad Ben, and is completely negated by the third Bad Ben film that gives you all the information without having to sit through this film.

#steelmanville road #bad ben #horror movies #horror #reviews #capsule reviews #uploads #order of flies #nigel bach

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Bad Ben (2016)

Unintentionally hilarious found-footage horror movie with a truly unflappable main character.  Shown using the main character’s iPhone videos and security cameras installed around the house, we see the story of Tom who buys a haunted property at a Sherriff’s auction and the attempts to exorcise and thwart the spirits that seek him harm.  Tom Riley (Nigel Bach) is a fairly likable character is a genre populated by unbelievably composed or dangerously unhinged documentarians.  The film is fairly engaging and funny for the wrong reasons.  Free with Amazon Prime, this is a nice little nugget of humor and scares to put on while you’re doing something else.  (2/5)

#bad ben #horror #horror movies #reviews #capsule reviews #uploads #order of flies

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Mausoleum (1983)

An overall amateurish effort but it has heart.  A demon terrorizes a lineage of women, the evil passed from mother to daughter until Susan (Bobbie Bresee) seemingly escapes the curse.  But of course she doesn’t and soon her husband and psychiatrist are trying to prevent the demon from taking full control.  A dark and muddy transfer, horrible acting, and a predictable story never really quite gel in the way the best B movies do, instead giving us long periods of tedium and some good – if homemade – effects.  The film is nowhere near as dark, haunting, and brooding as the filmmakers and score would like you to believe.  A barely watchable snorefest.  Of particular note is the ‘surprise’ ending, where a character laughs directly at camera for 30 seconds. Clearly no one during filming knew when to say cut.  (1/5)

#Mausoleum #horror movies #reviews #capsule reviews #uploads #order of flies #horror

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No problem! I’ve supported every movie you’ve made. Really looking forward to Automata!

The Black Gloves (Owlman III)

As a backer for all 3 of Hex Media’s films I was overjoyed to receive my blu-ray copy of this film and the accompanying digital media code.  While I absolutely loved ‘Lord of Tears’ and consider it one of the best horror films of the decade, I felt that the ‘Unkindness of Ravens’ was a little overwrought.  That is not to say that I did not enjoy the film, I’ve enjoyed all three films Lawrie Brewster and Sarah Daly have created, but the climax of ‘Ravens’ was a little too much noise and not enough substance.  Like 'Lord of Tears’ before it, 'Ravens’ had a few editing choices I didn’t agree with but they were not enough to detract from my overall admiration of the films.  I appreciated that they attempted to do something different with 'Ravens’.

Now this film is an excellent return to form!  A scary, black-and-white noir with the same feeling of overwhelming dread and despair present in 'Lord of Tears’.  Lawrie Brewster favorites Jaime Scott Gordon and Alexandra Hulme are joined by Macarena Gomez in a twisted tale of love, loss, and folk horror.  Psychologist Finn Galloway (Gordon) seeks out reclusive ballet dancer Elisa Grey (Hulme) in the weatherbeaten moors of Scotland due to Elisa’s fear of the Owlman - a fear shared by one of Finn’s previous patients Finn failed to save.  Elisa is cared for by Lorena Velasco (Gomez) a crippled formed ballet dancer determined to return Elisa to the stage no matter the cost.  Finn’s obsession clashes with Lorena’s secretive nature and sudden mood swings while it becomes clear something is very wrong with Elisa…or is it the Scottish manor they are all staying in?

The choice of black-and-white allows the film to have a highly stylistic noir appearance with swirling camera angles, dutch angles, and expressionistic shadows.  The soundtrack is book-ended by period-sounding thriller music for the opening and ending credits but the soundtrack itself is an evocative mixture of drums, drones, and lovely orchestral numbers.  The acting is good overall (I’m going to state for the record that I think Macarena Gomez’s performance was a decision and stand behind her choice) but there are some jarring bits of dialogue and some minor editorial concerns - particularly two fairly long dance scenes reminiscent of the dance sequence in 'Lord of Tears’.  These are not enough to take away from the pure exhilaration of this home-grown independent horror film.  If there was any criticism I could make, it would be that the plot is perhaps a bit too reminiscent of 'Lord of Tears’ and that I personally missed the Owlman having a voice.  Still, these are minor concerns; this film is a rollicking corker of a horror movie with nuanced performances, creeping dread, and some good scares. (5/5)

#lord of tears #hex media #reviews #automata #the black gloves #the unkindness of ravens

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The new film from the makers of Lord of Tears, The Unkindness of Ravens, and The Black Gloves is looking to be their most ambitious project yet!

Having just finished watching their latest (The Black Gloves) I’m eager to see what they can do with something outside their Moloch lore.  If you like independent horror films you should check it out.

#Automata #lawrie brewster #hex media #sarah daly #LORD OF TEARS #Unkindness of Ravens #the black gloves #Kickstarter #links