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Is this anything?

"I don't even own a candle, let alone many, which would necessitate an entire candelabra."

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what's the first movie you remember seeing in theaters? don't try and be all edgy and cool and say like tetsuo: the iron man. be honest.

Go!!

#bambi #1987 #disney vault

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Inside of me, there are three wolves.

Home Wolf is tired, loves his partner and dog, and doesn't like moving.

Work Wolf is tired, tolerates his coworkers and loves 1 or 2, and is constantly moving.

Commute Wolf is wired, hates everything and everyone, and is not moving as much as he'd like.

All three are hanging on by the narrowest of threads.

#wolves

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If there's a curmudgeon in your life, and you ask them how they are doing, and they say "not bad," or "pretty good," please don't say something like "ooh! For you, that's like, amazing!"

Feels bad.

While we're at it, don't ask anyone how they're doing, unless you actually give a shit.

Cool?

#curmudgeon

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There are two types of people

1. Those who know what it's like to feel they are a burden to their friends, family, coworkers, and acquaintances.

2. Those who, somehow, don't know that feeling.

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You can choose *One* of these mildly non-human traits to have.

#with gills #I could go underwater and no one could come bother me

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Googlong "symptoms of a nervous breakdown" and more than half the list are things I experiment on almost a daily basis.

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I only get called two names that are not my name.

1. There is a singular man who does repairs aound the building where I work. He always calls me "Chris." I've corrected him many times, and once he came me Chris 10 seconds after my correction.

2. Dozens of people have called me "Josh". People who have known me for a while, down to people who have never met me and have my actual name in an email roght in front of them.

#i dont know what to do with this

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My job has a seminar [optional] coming up called "Neurodivergence isn't a Mental Health Problem."

Someone wanna tell my neurodivergence that? He won't like it.

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A coworker just got her dog back from living with her parents for a while.

She said the dog ate out of her hand, because he wouldn't eat dog food out of his bowl. Her mom had been feeding the dog home-cooked meals.

My coworker described this to me, and said her dig had been "orally spoiled."

#office life

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Last night, on 3d100, one of my players rolled a 68, a 3, and a 19. We remarked that she was very close to "69-4-20 lol."

So we decided her whole deal right now is "just shy of a good time."

She also rolled THREE nat 1s on three CONSECUTIVE perception checks.

#dnd #polyhedra

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I miss Twitter.

I could post "I'm a fucking mess." And like, 20 people would see it. One person would like it, and (depending on my word choice) one friend might reach out and say 'you good?'

*sigh*

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"Previously, her hair was a mess and she was generally disheveled.

Now, she looks real rough. Like maybe she's never been sheveled in her whole life."

#d&d #npc description

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Safety

I want people to feel safe around me.

But the fact is, I'm not a safe space. You can say something perfectly innocent, and I'll take it and run. It might wound me, piss me off, and ruin my whole week. I'll think about it years later and remember what a complete fucking asshole I was and am. And it won't not be your fault.

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our flag means death + onion headlines (part 6: catboy ed special)

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Hell of a thing

I cam across a definition of Psychotic Depression.

"Psychotic depression is a subtype of major depression that occurs when a severe depressive illness includes some form of psychosis. The psychosis could be hallucinations (such as hearing a voice telling you that you are no good or worthless), delusions (such as, intense feelings of worthlessness, failure, or having committed a sin) or some other break with reality. Psychotic depression affects roughly one out of every four people admitted to the hospital for depression."

I've never really heard voices, as far as I know. The delusions listed are just...Depression though, right? And how am I supposed to know where reality ends and I begin?

I'm not trying to be glib about this. I'm just frustrated and annoyed and depressed and exhausted.

#depression #psychosis

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My thoughts on Pitchfork's 150 best albums of the 1990s; #30-#21

There are three completely subjective criteria. 1: do I like the album, yes or no? (Basically, is this for me?) 2: Would I recommend it to anyone, yes or no? (is this for anyone else?) and 3: Is it better than STPs "Core"? (The lowest bar. Few things are better than "Purple," but Core should absolutely be in the top 150, so that's the bar.)

30: Mos Def: Black on Both Sides (1999). I don't know much, but I know he's one of the Greats. Not everything has aged well, but it's good.

Like it: yes. Recommend: yes. Better than "Core": yes.

29: Pavement: Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain (1994). I don't know, folks. I don't think it's good, but I tapped my foot a few times. And the people who make Pavement a huge part of their personality will probably be more appalled at the idea that I was medium than they would be if I just hated it.

Like it: no. Recommend: no. Better than "Core": no.

28: Björk: Post (1995). Björk is great. This album is proof. Legend has it that when the current Björk retires or boards the ships for the West or whatever, the fair folk will hold a council to elect a new Björk. There must always be Björk.

Like it: yes. Recommend: yes. Better than "Core": yes.

27: Public Enemy: Fear of a Black Planet (1990). It was fine. Very listenable. I can't speak to how important it was at the time fully. But It holds the hell up.

Like it: yes. Recommend: no. Better than "Core": Yes.

26: Boards of Canada: Music Has the Right to Children (1998). This was fine. It wasn't as good as the Great electronic/psychadelic artists of earlier eras. Or as good as Aphex Twin. Or as good as Nine Inch Nails. I guess it's more...accessible? Is that why it's this high?

Like it: sure. Recommend: maybe. Better than "Core": no.

25: Belle and Sebastian: If You’re Feeling Sinister (1996). If you draw a straight line from The Kinks to Alexi Murdoch, this album is on that line. It's not bad, and it's even pleasant. Is it GREAT, though? Not in my opinion. And I've been listening to human music since before the 1990s.

Also, it occurs to me that another possible standard against which I can grade is Weird Al. There's no Weird Al on this list, and he had four banger albums come out in the 1990s: Off the Deep End, Alapalooza, Bad Hair Day, and Running with Scissors.

Why am I talking about Al when I'm supposed to be waxing philosophical about Belle & Sebastian? Because if this list isn't going to put Al in the rarefied air of the Top 25 THEN I WILL.

Like it: yes. Recommend: no. Better than "Core": no way.

24: Dr. Dre: The Chronic (1992). There was no album that sounded like this before this. And not really anything like this after this. Which is not necessarily good, but I get why it's venerated. That being said, the various lyricists featured...say a lot of things that...we're not saying anymore? Like, we decided as a culture to talk about these things in new ways that were less misogynistic? So...I'd say it's both immortal, and hasn't aged well.

Like a lich. This album is a lich. And I guess there's a place for a lich in any prosperous musical ecosystem...

Like it: no. Recommend: no. Better than "Core": yes.

23: Elliott Smith: Either/Or (1997). *sigh* I don't know. I feel like I tried. I tried to be open. But it's nothing. This album, this artist, this whole world of raspy melodies about the way I wish things were...doesn't work.

Like it: no. Recommend: no. Better than "Core": no.

22: Nas: Illmatic (1994). Maybe this whole endeavor was a mistake. I can't speak to these things. I know nothing. This album was good.

Like it: yes. Recommend: sure. Better than "Core": yes.

21: Silver Jews: American Water (1998). I was not surprised, halfway through listening to thi album, to discover that it is Pavement-adjacent (sharing a couple of members.) I was not surprised, because it has that certain "I can tell without discussing it with anyone, that it is overrated. Beloved by certain musicheads." It's not good. It's like if Modest Mouse listened to way too much Jesus & Mary Chain. Doesn't belong this high. Probably shouldn't be in the top 100. Pressing on.

Like it: not really. Recommend: no. Better than "Core": no.

#pitchfork #mos def #pavement #public enemy #bjork #boards of canada #belle and sebastian #dr. dre #elliott smith #nas #silver jews