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ulfrsmal · 9 minutes
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Getting a bit sick of all the "ooh I'm so glad Laios has a soft body!" "Laios is built like an average guy" style posts. Because he doesn't and isn't.
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Laios is built like a fucking professional wrestler. He isn't like, super chiseled or anything but he does not have an "average" body, he his built like someone who does a LOT of physical effort and training.
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ulfrsmal · 1 hour
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ulfrsmal · 2 hours
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ulfrsmal · 3 hours
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ulfrsmal · 5 hours
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^ is this all my followers
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ulfrsmal · 6 hours
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Its crazy how jack blacks kid just looks like if jack black had a son
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ulfrsmal · 7 hours
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ulfrsmal · 8 hours
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🦀 Kudos Crab 🦀
If you are scrolling and see Kudos Crab, your fics will be blessed!
You will get good comments and kudos!
You will beat your writers block!
GO AND WRITE!
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ulfrsmal · 18 hours
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I am once again thinking about digging holes
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It's so fucked up that digging a bunch of holes works so well at reversing desertification
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I hate that so much discourse into fighting climate change is talking about bioenginerring a special kind of seaweed that removes microplastics or whatever other venture-capital-viable startup idea when we have known for forever about shit like digging crescent shaped holes to catch rainwater and turning barren land hospitable
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ulfrsmal · 19 hours
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ulfrsmal · 19 hours
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some of my favorite replies to this tweet. happy lesbian visibility week!
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ulfrsmal · 19 hours
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People tend to throw out the phrase "extremely specific kinks" as though that inherently implies something transgressive, but in my experience, the overwhelming majority of extremely specific kinks are so innocuous that you could see them in public and not even clock them. For every person who can only get off to having their nipples electrocuted, there are a dozen who are volcanically aroused by seeing their partner wearing one specific pair of socks.
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ulfrsmal · 19 hours
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I cant believe this tweet is how I find out
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ulfrsmal · 19 hours
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best brownies in the known universe (at least, according to my grandma)
some year and a half ago when i was getting ready to move out i combed through all the family recipes that lay lost to time and one of the ones that i found was my grandmas brownie recipe. idk where she got it from (nor can i ask cause she has dementia) and its a printed out email she sent to my mom in june 2000. but by george these the best brownies i have ever tasted. would she be pleased that i am sharing this recipe with my vast following? absolutely.
YOU WILL NEED:
5 tablespoons butter (unsalted) 1 ounce unsweetened baking chocolate (or as much as your heart desires) 2/3 cup unsweetened good cocoa powder 1 cup sugar (white) (superfine preferred, normal works fine) 1 cup sifted white flour (can use gluten free) 1/2 teaspoon baking powder as much cinnamon as your heart desires (your heart needs to desire at least some cinnamon. its essential to the recipe) 3 egg whites 1 egg splash of vanilla extract (again, non negotiable step!)
preheat your oven to 325 degrees. grease a square baking pan (9x9 preferably).
in a small saucepan over medium heat melt the butter and baking chocolate. while that is melting, sift together the flour, baking powder and cinnamon into a small bowl. once the butter and chocolate is done melting add the cocoa powder and cook it together for 1 minute. add in the sugar and stir. it will get very thick. this is correct.
set that aside to cool. while thats cooling take a large bowl and put in your egg whites, egg and vanilla. beat it up with preferably a whisk but you can use a fork if youre fresh out of whisks. once the chocolate is cool enough to not scramble your eggs dump it in the eggs and mix it together. add the flour in gradually and keep mixing until its smooth and happy.
spread into your greased baking pan. put it in the oven for EXACLTLY 18 MINUTES. very crucial step. they will come out slightly under done. that is what we want. as they cool they will continue to cook in the pan. we dont want them to get hard and sad. they are not good when they are hard and sad. do not overbake them. you will be sad.
slice them up and as the official last step on the original recipe says: EAT ENJOY AND MAKE MORE! (theyre very good with mint chocolate chip ice cream)
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ulfrsmal · 20 hours
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ulfrsmal · 22 hours
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me: chat what do we think
the angel and devil on my shoulders: can you not call us that please
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ulfrsmal · 23 hours
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I was watching this video about the usage of tar in history (it’s in Polish and without subs, sorry), and this part spoke to me
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