und4c0v44

[und4c0v44]

TW FOR HORRIBLE NASTY DISGUSTING PERSON THOUGHTS !! PLS DONT READ IF THE FOLLOWIJG THOUGHTS WITH TRIGGER YOU:

E@T1NG D1S0RD3RS

S//H

4BUS3

SA

AGAIN PLEASE DONT READ IF TRIGGERING!! THIS IS JUST A WAY TO GET MY THOUGHTS OUT BECAUSE I CANT GET A THERAPIST!!

i need serious help but i cant get it. i have no idea whats wrong with me. for some reason i want to be abused,traumatized, and hurt. i cant even use the excuse that i was traumatized from a young age. me and my mom used to get into fight where we would tell and scream at each other and hit each other to the point that we both have scars but i dont rlly count that as abuse and if it is it’s not enough to want this bc it hasn’t happened in like a year. i find myself wanting to ve abused or s3xu411y abused even though my life at home is fine. i try to use the excuse of wanting my girlfriend to like me better so i copied her 34t1ng d1s0rd3r but o know somewhere i just wanted it. i had always scratched myself but 8 months ago i started cutting because i didn’t like that i was only scratching. i’ve been trying to purge partially because i want to copy my gfs bulimia. but i still want to be abused. idk why im having these thoughts bc im only 13, idk y i want to be SA’d because i know its a horrible thing that can ruin your life but i still want it to happen to me. idk why i want to be in a school sh00t1ing or why i want to be k1dn@pp3d or just be traumatized in general. there’s no reason for me to feel like this because other that the fights with my mom and the ed i gave myself my life is perfect. i see people i care about venting about their terrible home lives and part of me is upset/embarrassed that it isnt happening to me. idk whats wrong with me. does anyone else have these thoughts?

#4na ed #ed ana #sh mention #sh relapse #trauma #why do i feel like this #ana bodi check #ana stuff #ana trigger #ana vent #vent post #4n4 vent #ed vent #tw ed vent #im disgusting #im a horrible person #tw self destructive behavior

[und4c0v44]

im paranoid so thisnis my 3rd vent acc so nome of my irla see this