wbg-quotes
This is WOE.BEGONE (quotes!)
On a long enough timeline, all of us become cowboys. Truth hurts.
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Things settled down a bit after the fiasco with Charlie and Marissa, and the handcuffs, and the other pair of handcuffs, and the iteration, and Ty Betteridge, and Michael sacrificing himself in order to spare me from punishment. It really needed to calm down, considering that the sheer frenzy of it is typified by how many words it took to describe it just now. I was so frenzied I didn't even have time to look up if that is the correct usage of the word typified.
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What was this? An actual puzzle? And not “cut your dumbass arm off, you idiot”.
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“Did you get the alligator back from the store?” I grumbled.
“Alligator?” Edgar asked, confused.
“You don’t get the points unless, uh, you come back with the alligator,” I explained.
“Mikey, are you awake or asleep?” he asked. “That sounds like dream logic.”
“Both,” I said.
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That stuff scares me. I love Big Bear but I’m scared that there’s gonna be ten of me runnin’ around, gettin’ into who-knows-what, combining and splittin’ apart. Michael don’t lead the most peaceful life. He turned into a cowboy after enough of this. What would I turn into? A pirate?
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MIKEY: It's over, and I didn't even get to see it end.
TY: I'm sorry, Mikey. I'm so sorry.
MIKEY: Just let me go. Don't wake me up.
TY: I understand. Goodbye, Mikey.
MIKEY: Goodbye, Ty.
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MDAWG: You're really hung up on the grass, aren't you, Michael?
MICHAEL: Oh, so I got a problem with the grass what eats fellas and that makes me the weird one.
MIKEY: That is not the thing that made you the weird one.
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MIKEY: You're me. You're Mikey Walters. I'm consolidating with you to make me more Mikey Walters.
ITERATED MIKEY: If you're already Mikey Walters, why do you need to be more, Mikey Walters?
MIKEY: That's between me and an asshole in a Hawaiian shirt. Please sit down. So I don't have to kill you.
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I mean, I don’t think it’s all a big blackmail scam and I don’t see how “Mike Walters is really sad about his friend dying” is good blackmail material in the first place.
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I’m sorry to ask you to do all of that for my sake. I’m sorry because I know that you are going to do it and that you didn’t think twice before deciding to do it. I know that you are going to do it unhesitatingly because you love me and that’s what I hate most of all. I don’t deserve that and I don’t deserve you and I’m dragging you down into the depths of hell with me and yadda yadda yadda I just want to lie in bed and watch a fucking movie with you, Edgar. I’m so goddamn lonely.
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The grief… turned him into a cowboy. That’s the best way I can put it. I don’t fully understand it. I think you knew that I had a thing for cowboys and turning into a cowboy was your way of moving on. Cowboy Michael was his name.
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“Jamilla knows he’s not your type, right?” H said. “You’re looking for a more Paul Bunyan kind of guy.”
“You’re damn right I am,” I said. “Maybe the cowboy hat will help with that.”
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I can’t have that blood on my hands. Metaphorical blood, I don’t think there’s much blood involved in drowning. I guess he could be eaten by a shark.
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You’re my only link to the world right now, Panther.
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I should not have so willingly taken up the mantle of “Mikey,” like that was the moniker I deserved, because I was, what, younger? And now I am forever fated to it. That’s going to be on my tombstone. Because Michael is going to pick out my tombstone.
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MIKEY: Well, at least you got Ty before Ty could get you. He’s dead?
MIKE: Look at him. He’s more hole than Ty at this point.
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God, you're big. I understand why Michael kept bringing it up now. You are fucking enormous. And I bet that you know exactly what is going on with him. Horses are smart, right? That's the thing about horses? You know what he's up to. I wish you could talk. Actually, no, I don't. Michael is already too much cowboy to handle, and that's without a talking animal companion who is also a cowboy. Because you would be a cowboy, Bluster, because you're a goddamn horse. You'd be a cowboy.
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MDAWG: It’s all about mindset, Mikey. It’s like, are you having a bad day or did something bad happen to you and you’re letting that one thing color the rest of your day.
MIKEY: Today might not be a very good example, MDawg.
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