whendidmylifegetweird-blog

[whendidmylifegetweird-blog]

The Blinding Sun.

’All I see is the blinding sun, and all I hear is the painful noises of people who know nothing more than what is told to them, and crave only the things they can hold rather that what is offered to them from the heart.’’

- Alexander Fixterman 

Chapter one 

Michael 

I close my curtain, like it’s the end of the show, and make my self some coffee. The loud coffee machine like an old train puffing smoke and toying with my patios. The toaster waiting for the perfect moment to strike. hangover making me feel sick and even less happy about how long it takes for coffee to be ready and all I can think off is the last few month.

It all began with a phrase “ I wish I had a fucking abortion’’ she said to her son, something no son is pleased to hear, And as I am her son I can talk from experience. Yes my mother an alcoholic and a slut and me her son a boy who was born against his birth givers wishes.  The fear of the nonexistent god was the only reason I survived long enough to breath the air around me, and walk on earth he apparently created. No father and no future just a house full of empty wine bottles and beer cans, that all you need to know about me, that and my name witch happen to Michel. 

“I wish you have a good life’’ I said as I walked out of the tall narrow door  for the last time. I though about what I said and weather I was honest. I wished many things, I wished I was born to a family who love me, I wish I was rich, I wish I was smart, and sometimes I wish I told her something different, more aggressive more angry something in the lines of ‘’fuck you!’’ or better still ‘’ go die’’ but no such luck all I could do is a good-hearted and kind wish, I still don’t know if my wish was genuine. 

Walking the streets not to go somewhere but to run away from something is like being lost. The first place I though of going to was my friends house, he lived far away in a place that to me seemed like a castle, with a pool and a back garden, with a mum and a dad who loved him. His name is John. We met in school after weeks of me being ignored or torchered by other students I seen him standing in a shadow with a spiderman lunch box, hiding from the rest of them, me and John were the same the only difference is the circumstances we were born with. Both of us, from a young age, had a strange felling of mistrust and disappointment towards the rest of the world, both of us were born cynical and yet somehow patient and humble, this gave out an impression that John though he was better than the rest, but I understood him, he only felt that people around him could be better that what they are now, that did not mean he though he is perfect. Like I he refused to understand wife beaters, adulterers and crooked politicians, with age his knowledge of the world grew and so did the uncontrollable filling if disappointment in the human race. Now 17 he lost almost all interest in people and now just chooses to use them as he think they would use him, hence the long list of one night stands. I however remained hopeful that people around me could still improve, although that filling was slowly dying.   

#book #teenagers #drugs #alcohol #underagesex #adventure