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yougetoneshot · 6 months

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Stardust: Royal Pains

Chapter 3: Fairy Dust

Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Notes: This short chapter introduces crossover material I’ve been building up in the past chapters. I’ve avoided tagging or posting anything here in the notes so I wouldn’t spoil this reveal. I only acknowledge the first film in the crossover material so this is a deviation from the canon.

Now that the reveal has happened, once I finish this fic I’ll likely combine it all and tag the crossover.

The princes were carried into the castle and laid down in beds lined against a wall. The two cloaked figures moved Septimus last, setting him on the bed nearest the door. As they finished moving him, a woman walked in wearing a long black dress with two curled horns sprouting from the top of her head.

“My, what happened here?” She looked between the princes then to the taller cloaked figure. “Diaval, why are they still dead?”

“They’re not dead, Maleficent.” He tossed his hood back to reveal raven black hair. “But it didn’t go to plan either.”

“I see. Where is the crystal?”

“..we have the pieces.”

“The pieces?” Maleficent quirked a brow at Diaval who pointed to the other cloaked figure. “Bernard, care to explain?

“Well, you see, what happened was-“ Bernard, the farm boy turned goat-turned woman-turned back to farm boy hesitantly tossed back his hood to reveal shaggy ginger hair. “-we painted the stones just as you said and put the crystal in the middle..”

“Go on.” She folded her arms across her chest impatiently.

“Ah yes but then we didn’t know how to place them under the stones so they… came back in the wrong bodies.”

“What.” She furrowed her brow and looked between them. “You painted number runes on the stones. The numbers were indicative of my brothers’ names.”

“…oh… I can’t read..” Bernard looked to Diaval who blushed and scratched his head.

“I.. can’t read either.”

Maleficent sighed, blaming herself for not explaining the ritual better or overseeing it herself. “None of this explains why the crystal is broken.”

“Oh yes well the angry fire breathing one attacked the mean wet cat looking one and when we tried to stop them well..”

“The crystal fell and broke.” Diaval sighed as he hung his head and looked up slightly behind his hair to Maleficent.

“Well then.” Maleficent held out her hand. “Let me see what’s left of it. Perhaps I can use what’s left of its energy to put them where they belong.”

Diaval handed Maleficent the shards and she crushed them in her hand before letting a bit of the dust fall onto each of the seven bodies. She then returned to Diaval and Bernard standing in the doorway.

“What do we do now?” Bernard looked up at her and she smiled.

“We wait.”

#stardust (2007)

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yougetoneshot · 6 months

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Stardust: Royal Pains

Chapter 2: Danse Macabre

Summary of Body Swaps:

Primus - Septimus (Can’t walk)

Secundus - Quartus (Constantly Shivering)

Tertias - Primus (Can’t talk)

Quartus - Secundus (Can’t move)

Quintus - Sextus (Can’t touch anything or their skin will stick to it)

Sextus - Tertius (Intense chest pains and shortness of breath)

Septimus - Quintus (Memory impaired)

Chapter 1

The seven brothers glared at each other in tense silence for a while. Secundus, who currently possessed Quartus, finally spoke up through his intense shivering.

“W-what k-kind of m-m-ma-magic can d-do thissss?!”

“The ironic kind?” Quartus smirked from Secundus’s broken body.

“How are any of us living right now?” Primus frowned through Septimus’s brows. “These bodies are broken- some more than others.” He’d look over at the body of Secundus.

“I don’t mind. I can’t feel any of it.” Quartus gave a self satisfied smirk from Secundus’s body. “Besides, whoever hired these goons to bring us back must know a way to fix us.”

“Even if they do, I’ll just have to kill you all again seeing as I’m king now.” The other brothers looked over to Septimus possessing Quintus’s body.

“You’re n-n-not king.” Secundus growled.

“I found the stone. I’m king.”

“Septimus, you’re dead. Our nephew, Tristan is king.” Primus explained.

“Who is Tristan?! Which one of you had a son?!”

“Una. Don’t you remember?”

“Of course I remember… who is Una?”

“I think that axe wound might be treating your memory poorly.” Quintus smirked from Sextus’s body.

“What axe wound?” He lifted a hand to feel the gaping hole in his head then back down at his hands before looking over at his body staring at him. “Why is my body looking at me?!”

“Because our souls are in the wrong bodies. I’m Primus.”

“Why did it have to be you?” Septimus grumbled and Primus sighed heavily.

“Why couldn’t you have been in my body- then you’d at least be quiet.” Primus looked over at his body who he knew from process of elimination must be possessed by Tertius who was glaring at him angrily.

“Una has a son?” Septimus whispered and shook his head. “I traded Una to a witch over a decade ago how does she have a son?”

“You sold off Una?!” All the other brothers glared at him.

“..what? I didn’t kill her.”

“We all loved Una, how could you do that?!”

“Because you loved her! She made us all soft! I never could have killed Quintus if she stayed around.”

“Una didn’t deserve that, Septimus. Your quarrel was with us, not her.” Primus frowned and Septimus became even more irritable at his own face glaring at him.

“I should have killed her.”

“If you had, we’d all be stuck as ghosts right now.” Sextus growled from Tertias’s body.

“As opposed to these broken bodies?!” Septimus growled back before clutching his head and blinking a few times before looking up at Primus.

“..why is my body looking at me?”

“Oh here we go again.” The other brothers groaned.

“Keep it down back there. We’re approaching the castle.” One of the cloaked figures yelled back to them. “We don’t need to concern anyone with you all looking.. like that.”

The princes grumbled but all silently agreed they did not want to be seen in their current states. The wagon was pulled into the castle and escorted to the royal stables. The cloaked figures came around to the back of the wagon once it was stopped. “Alright, let’s go.”

Septimus furrowed his brow at the cloaked figure and saw the stone they were holding. “That’s my stone!” He reached for the crystal but the cloaked figure backed up just out of his reach. Septimus leapt from the back of the wagon, bat wings unfurling from his back and fire slipping out the side of his mouth as he snarled. “Give me the stone!”

“Oh no, he’s going full dragon.” Quintus looked over at Primus. “You’ll have to stop him before he gets too heated and burns the place down!”

Primus barked at his brother as he painfully drug himself to the edge of the wagon. “Septimus! That’s not the stone!”

Septimus turned around and furrowed his brow. “Who are you?!” He stormed towards Primus and lifted him from the wagon and shoved him against the nearest wall.

“I’m your brother! Primus!”

“You expect me to believe that?!” Septimus spat small sparks of flame.

Primus grabbed onto Septimus’s arm and looked over to Quintus who nodded. “Sorry brother.” He bit hard into Septimus’s arm- which was really Quintus’s. Septimus howled as he was bitten by his own body, feeling the sharp pain of his second layer of teeth. The cloaked figures came over to help Primus but as the did, a burst of flame shot out of Septimus’s mouth and into the air. The crystal one of them had been holding fell to the ground and shattered causing all the princes to fall unconscious to the ground.

“Well… that went well.” The shorter cloaked figure quipped.

“Let’s just get them inside before they cause any more trouble.”

#stardust (2007)#stormhold princes #prince Primus #prince Secundus #prince Tertius #prince Quartus #prince Quintus #prince Sextus #prince Septimus

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yougetoneshot · 6 months

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Stardust: Royal Pains

Chapter 1: Blood Moon

Summary:

Two mysterious figures resurrect all of the Stormhold princes but they come back in the wrong bodies.

Warnings:

All of the princes’ bodies are exactly as they were when they died. Elements of body horror associated with their injuries will be present.

Notes:

Based on events from the 2007 film- not the book. The Stormhold family is Fey and all have unique Fey traits. None of the traits or ages are canon.

Primus: 58 (Killed at 58). Badger Fey. Has tripes down his back, smells like parchment and wax, and super strength when angry. Sixth to die. Throat slit in bathtub by the witch Lamia. Possessor cannot talk.

Secundus: 52 (Killed at 52). Platypus Fey. He has webbed toes, smells like almond butter, and can speak to animals. Fourth to die by Septimus pushing him off a balcony. Body is completely unusable.

Tertius: 48 (Killed at 48). Fish Fey. Has gills, smells like fresh brownies, and can teleport. Fifth to die. Poisoned by Septimus. Possessor suffers from shortness of breath and random intense chest pains.

Quartus: 46 (Killed at 34). Bird Fey. Has a feathered spine, smells like mint, and darkvision. The second to die frozen to death in a freezer at the hands of Secundus. Possessor is constantly shivering.

Quintus: 42 (Killed at 28). Dragon Fey. Has small bat wings, smells like sandalwood, and can breathe fire. The first prince to die in his bed with an axe to the head from Septimus. Possessor suffers from memory loss and impaired mental capabilities.

Sextus: 40 (Killed at 35). Lizard Fey. Has a lizard’s tail, smells like coffee, and can camouflage. 3rd to die. Killed in a fire set by Septimus. Possessor cannot touch things without part of their skin sticking to it.

Septimus: 38 (Killed at 38). Shark Fey. Has a second hidden row of sharp teeth, smells like the ocean, and never sleeps. Last to die and was drowned via voodoo doll by the witch Lamia. Sustained fire damage, piercing and slashing wounds to the chest along with a broken leg and arm. Body is partially unusable and possessor struggles with breathing.

Una: 42. Una and Quintas are fraternal twins. Traded off by Septimus to Ditchwater at the age of 27. Has cat ears she hides under her hair, smells like lavender, and has the ability to charm any man that gets close. Still living.

Chapter 1: Blood Moon

Amidst rubble and broken glass, buried beneath a heavy chandelier lay the body of Prince Septimus. Only a matter of hours had passed since his death and partial reanimation at the hands of Lamia the witch. Over the chandelier, two cloaked figures stood and lifted it off his corpse.

“You’re sure this is one of the princes?” The taller of the two figures whispered.

“I’m sure. Let’s get the body and put it with the others.” The shorter replied while grabbing Septimus at the shoulders to start lifting.

“We have all seven now?” The other lifted his feet.

“Yes. Now we can commence reanimation.” They took the body out to a wagon and set it in the back next to six other bodies. The two figures rubbed their hands together as a cool wind whipped their cloaks about and a red moon rose in the distance.

“Quickly. There isn’t much time.”

The wagon was pulled into a large clearing where a circle was formed of seven large stones painted with varying symbols surrounding a pedestal holding an iridescent crystal.

“Now, we just set them by the correct stone and their bodies will reanimate at the height of the blood moon.”

“How do we know which stone goes to which body?” The taller cloaked figure looked around at the stones.

“…I thought you knew that?”

“No, I thought you knew that?!”

“Why would I know that?!”

“You painted the stones!”

“Yea but I wasn’t told what the symbols mean!”

“Well, I’m sure it won’t be a problem to guess.. we were just hired to bring them back. The boss didn’t say they had to be in the correct bodies, right?”

“Right. Now let’s move them.” The two cloaked figures moved the bodies, all in varying degrees of decay, positioned with their heads just below the stones and their feet at the base of the pedestal in the middle of the circle. As the crimson moon rose directly over the circle, the crystal and paintings on the stones lit up crimson red and the bodies underneath them began to rise into the air. They floated for a moment before illuminating and falling back to the ground with thuds.

“..did it work?” One of the cloaked figures looked around at the bodies as the other pointed and moved towards the body of Quintus.

“That one moved.”

The two slowly moved to the body as it suddenly sprang up with a loud gasp and wide eyes set on the two cloaked figures as they screamed in surprise.

“Would you quiet down! I’ve got a splitting headache-“

The two figures exchanged looks as Quintus suddenly stood up and walked over to the body of Septimus. He stood over it as Septimus sat up spewing out water with pained gasps before looking up surprised.

“Quintus? You’re alive?”

“..I’m not Quintus.”

“You sure look like Quintus to me- wait… why do I sound like-“

“Septimus? Because I’m Septimus and that’s my body.”

“Septimus?! Why am I you and why are you Quintas?!”

“Who are you?”

“Primus.”

“I think I preferred the witch controlling my body.” Septimus rolled his eyes as he held his- or rather Quintas’s- head. He grimaced as his fingers felt a large axe shaped hole in his head. “What is happening?”

“I think they know.” Primus pointed to the cloaked figures watching them. He attempted to stand but yelped as his -or rather Septimus’s- right leg wouldn’t bear any weight. Primus moved to touch it but found Septimus’s right arm was broken in multiple places as well. “What didn’t the witch break?” He groaned as he decided to just sit in despair at his condition.

“Maybe we should have asked which bodies went with the different stones.” The taller cloaked figure mused out loud as the brothers began reanimating one by one- not a single one in the correct body.

“Too late for that now. Let’s just get them back to the boss.” The smaller one gestured to the wagon as they spoke to the group of resurrected princes. “Please climb into the wagon and we will take you home.”

The princes groaned as they complained about their swapped bodies that were still in various stages of deterioration. Primus sat grumpily in Septimus’s broken body while Secundus- shivering in Quartus’s frostbitten body- tried to help him to the wagon. Tertius fumed as he tried to speak out of the body of Primus but to no avail as the slash to his throat had cut the vocal cords. Sextus, who possessed Tertius’s body, stared at his own charred body that was possessed by Quintas and sighed in relief that he got one of the few healthier bodies instead of his own. Quintas was smiling ear to ear at Septimus having to endure the splitting headache from the axe blow he’d delivered to kill Quintas while he was sleeping- a well deserved irony in his humble opinion. Both Quintas and Sextus had to help Quartus as he had the misfortune of possessing Secundus’s body, which had taken a rather lengthy fall from the top of Stormhold tower and broken every bone in his body. Once all of the princes had managed to climb on or be helped into the wagon, the cloaked figures began the journey to Stormhold castle.

#stardust (2007)#Stormhold princes #Prince Septimus #Prince Sextus #Prince Quintas #Prince Quartus #Prince Tertius #Prince Secundus #Prince Primus #shows up 2 years later with a fanfiction for a 2007 film 🫣

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yougetoneshot · 3 years

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Suicide Squad: Reversal

What if Team 1 and Team 2 switched missions?

Focus is on Team 1: Flag, Harley, Captain Boomerang, Savant, Mongal, Weasel, Blackguard, TDK, and Javelin

Chapter 2

Outside the capital, Harley sent Savant to survey the area. He returned and sat down without a word. She waited patiently for a moment with a tense smile. As time passed, she patted her foot and cleared her throat. “Savant.”

“Yea?”

“The plan?”

“What about it? I think it’s a good plan.” He’d nodded while looking straight ahead. “We got power in numbers, especially if the others are just as gifted in their abilities.”

“…Savant.. you said that earlier.” Harley said through a tight lipped smile.

“..oh.. uh.. I got a bad memory.” He’d weakly responded.

“….you couldn’t’ve told me that sooner?!” She shrieked.

“Hey, I could go give it a look.” Blackguard raised his hand, his short toddler shirt raising up his torso even more as he lifted his arm.

“..I dunno..”

“Please.” He gave her the most puppy dog look and Harley relented. “You got fifteen minutes. Don’t get spotted.”

“I won’t.” He quickly disappeared out of the van and after a moment of the group listening to Blackguard run off, Savant spoke.

“I saw Flag.”

Harley spun around so hard she nearly fell over. “You saw Flag?! Do you remember where?”

“Yea. He was in a cell just on the south side of the building. Looked pretty banged up.”

“We gotta go get him!” Harley pitched to the rest of the group.

“What about Blackguard?”

“Oh. Right. Well he’s looking for the others, yea? So we just split up. Mongal, Weasel, and Javelin, you watch Thinker and wait here for Blackguard to get back. If he isn’t back in fifteen minutes, go look for him. Got it?”

“Roger that, Harley.” Javelin’s thick accent made Harley smile before she, TDK, and Boomerang followed Savant to rescue Flag.

Blackguard raced down a small pathway and leapt high over a tall security fence. He landed with a roll to his feet and looked around. A spacious outdoor garden provided ample hiding areas as he snuck towards a back entrance. As he reached for the door, a powerful shock radiated through his body and he collapsed. His vision faded as a dark shadow bent down over him.

Flag sat in his cell, wincing at his injuries. The Corto Moltese soldiers were brutal, prodding his gun wounds and shocking him for fun. He hadn’t even been tortured yet and he was already hanging by a thread. A glare from the sun beaming through the bars of his cell made him furrow his brow and look up to see what was causing it.

Harley?

He had to be hallucinating. The bars were 10 feet off the ground. How could she be there waving at him.

“What-“

She repeatedly pressed a finger to her lips to signal him to shush. He casted a look to the lone guard in the mostly empty jail. He gave Flag a disgruntled look before going back to reading a magazine with a scantily clad woman on the front.

Flag moved closer to the bars and before he could say anything more Harley dropped something down to him- an arm?! He nearly dropped it except it floated on its own once he let go of it. He looked in awe and disgust of the arm as he looked back up at Harley who disappeared from view. After a few moments, he could hear the distinctive sound of Boomerang’s Australian accent as he cursed about being the muscle before TDK came into view. He waved and Flag instantly realized the floating arm belonged to him.

Flag looked back towards the guard before grabbing the arm and shoving it to the ground and pushing it through the bars. Flag then backed up to where TDK could see him and began making motions with his hands to direct TDK’s movements.

“How are you holding up?” Harley patted the sweat from Boomerang’s brow as he stood holding TDK on his shoulders.

“Ay, just peachy. Exactly what I wanted to do today.” He growled lowly.

“Really?”

“No, of course bloody not! This guy is heavy!”

“Shh!” She pressed a finger to his lips. “You got this, Boomer. You’re like, the third strongest member on this team.”

“You’re the most annoying.” He sneered.

“No I ain’t!” She pushed him.

Harley and Boomerang’s quarrel made TDK lose balance and his arm bumped the desk. Flag looked up at the guard in a panic as he moved to find the source of the sound.

“Hey! When am I going to get some food in here?! You know the US military is going to rain down fire on you if you don’t treat me well.” Flag tried his best to distract the guard who slowly burst into laughter.

“You Americans are so funny!” He reached into a drawer where Flag could see the key to the cell and pulled out some Tic Tacs. He threw them through the bars at Flag who let them scatter to the floor. “There’s your food.” The guard then moved to sit back in his chair when he noticed the arm now perched at the edge of the desk. A scream started to erupt until TDK’s other arm came from behind and muffled it. The two arms worked together to shove the guard into the wall and knock him unconscious before grabbing the cell key for Flag. He took the key from the floating arms and opened the cell. Sparing a look down the hall, he exited out the south end door to be greeted by Harley hugging him. Behind her, TDK was reuniting with his arms and Boomerang was doubled over panting.

“Yea, so TDK stands for The Detachable Kid, did you know that?”

“Actually, no… I didn’t.”

“Crazy right?! Hey!” She suddenly slapped his chest. “Did you not know about the other team neither?”

“What other team?”

Meanwhile back at the van, Javelin looked at Mongal and Weasel. “Has it been fifteen minutes yet?”

Thinker ignored his question entirely.

“I don’t know how to measure Earth time.” Mongal shrugged.

“…and I do not have a watch.. I don’t think this beast has one either..”Javelin looked to weasel who coughed up a hairball. He made a disgusted face before he noticed something shiny. A watch. Javelin tugged the watch out of the hair ball and set a timer. “Okay. Fifteen minutes.”

The van returned to awkward silence.

Blackguard woke to the sounds of screams and machinery. He shook himself to consciousness out of panic and became aware of his body strapped down to a table. Next to him was a man in a lab coat taking his blood. Around him he saw others being experimented on as he began to shake in fear.

“What is this?!”

“The stepping stone to Jotunheim. We’re going to see if you’re worthy to go there or if we’re going to torture you until we’re bored.”

“I have information. You don’t have to torture me. I’ll give it to you. Just don’t hurt me.” His lip quivered as he begged. The scientist laughed and leaned in.

“You think we’d trust anything you said?”

“Yes. We would.” The scientist looked up as the dictator of the island walked over. “Tell me what you know.”

#the suicide squad fanfiction #Harley Quinn #Rick Flag #Blackguard #Mongal DC #Weasel DC #Captain Boomerang #Savant DC #TDK #Javelin DC #The Thinker DC #Suicide Squad Reversal #SSR Chapter 2 #Hopefully labeling the chapters will help as I write more

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yougetoneshot · 3 years

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So much love for Team A 😍 I absolutely love what you did with Javelin and Blackguard. Perfect. 10/10.

This is a canon-divergent story I am doing about the new Suicide Squad. KEEP IN MIND I LITERALLY LOVED THE NEW MOVIE, I HAD 0 GRIPES OR FLAWS WITH IT. I just wanted to take it in a different route that could be fun, because I sure did have an absolute blast making this first chapter. Check it out, and enjoy! :D

#wow #so good #love team A so much so this is just amazing

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yougetoneshot · 3 years

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Thank you so much 😭 I really love Team A and I do eventually intend for Team B to show up but I felt like Team A needed their spotlight first. I’m hoping to get some more time to write tomorrow and have Chapter 2 posted by the weekend.

Suicide Squad: Reversal

What if team 1 and team 2 switched missions?

Focus is on Team 1: Flag, Harley, Captain Boomerang, Savant, Mongal, Weasel, Blackguard, TDK, and Javelin

Everyone lives AU

Chapter One

Keep reading

#such nice feedback oh my gosh #thank you #😭😭😭#I also need to go read your fic immediately because I’m so desperate for more Team A stuff

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yougetoneshot · 3 years

Text

Suicide Squad: Reversal

What if team 1 and team 2 switched missions?

Focus is on Team 1: Flag, Harley, Captain Boomerang, Savant, Mongal, Weasel, Blackguard, TDK, and Javelin

Everyone lives AU

Chapter One

Flag looked around at his team and lamented his choices in life. His eyes fell on Harley, the therapist turned supervillain with a penchant for hyenas and large hammers. She was clapping excitedly at the despair of the man across from her struggling with his seatbelt.

“This thing’s a werewolf?! Yo, I don’t mess with werewolves, get me outta here!”

Captain Boomerang’s roaring laugh filled the entire helicopter as he joined Harley in enjoying Blackguard’s panic.

“Sit down! He’s not a werewolf. He’s a weasel.” Flag snarled to quiet down the situation. Blackguard was his least favorite addition to his team which was saying something considering weasel, the beast villain he’d just believed was a werewolf, was equally as useless. He’d begged Waller not to add him but she insisted his strength would be an asset despite his low IQ. At least the weasel didn’t talk.

“Get ready for the drop.” The pilot called back to Flag who nodded and ushered the others to stand as the back of the helicopter opened over the water.

“Go!” He yelled as the first of his team leapt from the chopper. Javelin, whose name pretty much encompassed his entire personality aside from the added foreign accent, hit the water first. He was followed by TDK, a villain Flag actually didn’t know anything about but trusted Waller enough that he must have some strength of benefit to the team. Savant, the forgetful genius fighter, and Mongal, the alien tyrant, jumped next. They were followed by Harley and Boomerang who made a competition over who could do the best dive. Flag had to shove Blackguard out before he and weasel jumped. As they all hit the water they heard the sound of weasel struggling against the current.

“Did no one find out if he could swim?!” Flag growled into his communicator. The team back at base remained quiet as he moved to help Savant save the unsavory beast from drowning.

“Is he dead.” Waller’s irritated tone buzzed over coms as Savant shook his head.

“He’ll live.”

An explosion lit up another part of the island and Flag furrowed his brow. “Waller-“

“It’s fine. Keep on mission, Flag.” Her tone sounded knowing so he pushed any concern for it aside. He had to trust her. What other choice did he have?

The rest of his team trudged onto the beach and groaned about being wet. He once again lamented not having a proper military team as Harley and Boomerang began convincing Blackguard he was covered in leeches. The dim witted villain was frantically and a bit too loudly checking himself for the leeches as Flag moved towards them. “Shhh! Stop messing with him or you’re going to get us all killed! We don’t have much time before a patrol comes by. We need to get deep into the jungle and make camp.” He grabbed Blackguard by the shoulder to stop him from ripping his clothes off. “There are no leeches on yo-“ Flag’s sentence halted as he spotted it- not a leech but definitely something akin to it stuck to the back of Blackguard’s neck. “Don’t move.”

“What?! Why?!! What is it?!! There are leeches aren’t there?!-“

“I said don’t move!” Flag pulled a knife from a holster around his thigh and began prying the small mass from Blackguard’s skin. The criminal howled which prompted Flag to slap a hand over his mouth. “Shut up or I’ll let this thing stay on your neck.” He finally provided enough leverage to pop the creature off of Blackguard’s neck and send it careening into the sand where it dug down into the dune like a tremor.

“…what was that.” Harley’s eyes were locked onto the spot in the sand that the creature had sunk into.

“Just a leech. Now come on, we need to get off this beach.” He waited for his team to all make it off the beach before he noticed a light in the distance.

A sharp pain in his shoulder then another in his leg sent him sinking to the sand. He heard shouts down the beach and yelled at his team to run as Harley moved towards him. “Go! Stay on mission!”

Waller echoed Flag’s order into Harley’s earpiece.

“Come on. He’s right, Harls.” Boomerang tugged her back into the foliage as soldiers surrounded Flag. “They ain’t gonna kill him, right?” Harley looked up at her Aussie pal and he tugged her down to hide in the brush.

“I dunno but we’re dead if we stay here.” He whispered into her ear as they watched Flag be apprehended.

“This changes nothing. You will still need to find the Thinker and infiltrate Jotunheim.” Waller’s voice hissed through their earpieces. “Don’t take this as some opportunity to bail. I can still monitor you from here without Flag’s supervision. One wrong move and I’ll blow your heads off. Now move.”

As Waller finished her threat, Harley looked around at the group who were all looking at her. “What are you looking at me for? Do I got something on my face?”

“I think they’re looking at you to lead us.” Boomerang whispered in her ear.

“Leader? No. Uh uh. I ain’t a leader.” She turned to Boomerang to argue in a less than hushed tone. “Boomer, I don’t know the first thing about leading a bunch of idiots!”

“Hey!” Blackguard hissed. “We can hear you.”

“Oh sorry, I meant six idiots and a lummox.” She sassed but then quickly realized he thought she was complimenting him. Harley turned back to Boomerang. “We are so doomed.”

“I believe in you, Harls. What would you do if you didn’t have a team?”

“I dunno. Probably get disguises?”

“Then that’s a start. Let’s go find some disguises.”

The group had little issue getting into town and breaking into a department store. Even here on this tiny island, American corporations had made their mark in the most American way- overpriced apparel.

“Alright everyone. I want you to look your most Corto Maltese-esque-ian.”

“What?” Half of them chimed in and she shook her head frustrated.

“Just don’t look like a tourist, yea?” She shooed them away to pick their own disguises. After a while, Javelin approached her in bright plaid overalls with no shirt underneath and a vibrant pink hat.

“..that is… PERFECT!” Harley clapped excited then noticed weasel next to him with a large novelty mustache stuck to his face. “Oh my, I didn’t even recognize you. That’s so good. Keep it.”

“I dunno, Harley none of these clothes fit me.” Blackguard walked over in what was clearly a child’s tshirt that hugged him like a crop top. Harley suppressed some laughter but nodded. “No. You look great. Promise.” She nudged Boomerang as he was shuffling through some AC DC shirts to find his size. He lifted his head and spotted the very tight children’s clothing clinging to Blackguard. He was less than successful at containing his laughter.

“He loves it.” Harley nodded.

“Then why’s he laughing?”

“Oh it’s just a joke I told him earlier. Nothing to do with you.”

“..oh.. okay!” Blackguard joined the other two members who were done picking their disguises.

Mongal returned in a large fluffy red dress and Harley gave her two thumbs up. Savant came back in plain jeans and a white v neck. Harley stopped him and plopped a ball cap on his head that said “World’s Best Grandpa” before giving him approval. TDK finally returned dressed like a cowboy complete with chaps and a cowboy hat. Harley had chosen checkered black and red jeggings paired with a workout top that said “would rather be sleeping” and a red leather jacket. Boomerang had finally found the appropriate sized AC DC shirt- sans sleeves as he tugged them off and tossed them aside.

Harley looked over the group one last time before placing her hands on her hips confidently. “Let’s go catch a Thinker.”

Outside the club, Harley briefed the group in the small van they’d stolen from a very cooperative Pepsi delivery guy. “Okay, the plan is to blend in and wait for this Thinker guy to show up. He should be here anytime in the next three hours so we gotta stay alert. That includes you.” She gestured to Javelin.

“Why do you single me out?”

“Because that devilish accent of yours could get us caught. Best if you stay quiet.”

“But-“

“No. Your voice is now a precious gem that you must protect at all costs. Not another word.”

He nodded sadly as Harley turned to the rest of the group. “Let’s go.”

The group walked into the club and despite having a giant weasel with them, managed to get on great with everyone there. Most of the drunken patrons thought they came from a costume party and Weasel was wearing some kind of Halloween costume. Harley had the group split up to look for the Thinker. She paired them up with Mongal and TDK taking the back door, Boomerang and Savant at the pool table in the corner, Blackguard and Javelin on the dance floor, and she took the bar with Weasel by the entrance.

After about an hour, Harley started to become bored. As entertaining as it was watching Weasel get drunk, Boomerang lose at pool twice in a row to Savant, and Javelin teach Blackguard how to do the Cupid shuffle, she was getting antsy for a fight. Lucky for Harley, a fight was walking in as Corto Maltese soldiers walked in escorting the Thinker.

“I’ve got eyes on the Thinker.” Harley nodded over to Javelin who was by the jukebox. He then pressed a few buttons and Ballroom Blitz blared through the club. “Time to party, boys!”

Harley ran full speed at the nearest soldier and slid down between his legs to pop up behind him right next to the Thinker. She gave him a smile. “You might wanna duck.” Harley grabbed the back of his head and pushed it down as Javelin nailed the soldier posted behind the Thinker with his javelin from across the room. Boomerang took out the first two soldiers and Savant used his pool stick to prevent more soldiers rushing in from the entrance from getting closer to the group by targeting pressure points on their bodies with absolute precision.

At the back door, Mongal and TDK were having a blast letting a soldier walk in only to hang them by their vests on the tall coatrack mounted to the wall and knocking them out. Weasel ran around downing all the drinks of the patrons who’d abandoned them to leave the establishment. The entrance began to flood with more soldiers until Blackguard lifted the large jukebox and hefted it at the doorway with complete ease, halting the music and leaving the room in complete silence for a few moments.

“…you telling me you coulda done that the whole time?!” Harley choked out in shock. “I didn’t know he could that- did you know he could do that?!” Harley looked around at some of the rest of the group who shook their heads. “That coulda been very useful to know, just sayin.”

“Who are you people?” Thinker questioned irritably.

“Hey!” She shook him by his shirt collar. “We ask the questions round here!” Harley began shoving the Thinker towards the back exit as the team followed. They all squeezed back into the Pepsi delivery fan with Thinker placed in the middle of them.

“Okay, Bumble Ball Head, you listen good, you’re gonna take us to Jotunheim.”

“You’ll never make it past the front door. They already know what you’re trying to do. Your little friends on the beach have already been taken care of too.”

“..wait.. there were other people on the beach? Did we leave somebody else?!” Harley began counting the group as Thinker furrowed his brow confused.

“Are you not the Americans? The ones with the shark man?”

“Wait there’s a shark man?!” Harley squealed. “You mean to tell me Waller sent another team with a shark man and he wasn’t on my team?!”

“I don’t like sharks.” TDK brought up nonchalantly. “They could bite your arm off, you know?”

“Yea but not if you was friends with them, right?” Harley proposed and TDK shrugged.

“Fair point.”

“You’re all mad.” Thinker interjected.

“Well, that ain’t nothing new.” Harley chortled. “Now, tell me about the team at the beach. What happened to them?” Harley furrowed her brows as she raised a knife. “And if you ain’t telling me the truth, I’ll start cuttin off them pegs in your head.”

“They were apprehended and taken to the capital. With the exception of the shark man who is now a delightful new subject for me to experiment on.”

“Oh, you are just a piece of work, you know that?!” Harley waved the knife at him then looked at the group. “Listen, I ain’t much of a planner but seems to me like we could use all the help we can get getting into Jotunheim. We should go rescue the rest of the team to help us.”

“If they’re even still alive. El Presidente isn’t exactly keen on Americans. He’s likely already publicly executed them by now.”

“Well ain’t you just a bucket of rainbows!” She bonked him on the head with the back of the knife before looking back at the group. “It’s worth checking to see if any of em are alive.”

“I agree.” Savant nodded. “We got power in numbers, especially if the others are just as gifted in their abilities.”

“Right, anyone oppose?”

Mongal raised her hand slowly and Harley blinked a few times while pouting out her lips. “Yes?”

“I think we left the werewolf.”

Harley looked around at the group and sure enough the Weasel was not there. “Oh, fudge!” She sighed and nodded for TDK at the back to go back inside and fetch him. He returned with an unconscious and smelly Weasel, tossing him inside the van before it drove off towards the capital.

- Stay tuned for Chapter 2! -

#the suicide squad fanfiction #Rick Flagg #Harley Quinn #Captain Boomerang #Savant #Mongal #The Weasel #Blackguard #TDK #Javelin #Rick Flag #Suicide Squad Reversal #SSR Chapter 1

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