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foreverabhorrent · 2 years

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My Broken Bird - A Stozier Fanfic

(TW: Major Character Death, Suicide)

Soulmate AU (Once you meet you see colors and can feel each other's emotions)

Summary:

Stan and Richie have been soulmates since the age of 5, they were inseparable for years but during the beginning of highschool they came to an undiscussed agreement that they were no longer in a relationship, as Stan had gained feelings for Bill.

At only 5 years of age Stan had met his soulmate. With a toothy grin and glasses far to big for his face he had accepted gratefully that this is who he would be with for life. He enjoyed being able to see the colors Richie allowed him to see and for years on end he stood by Richie's side despite all annoyances.

At only 15 years old Stan started to believe that the universe somehow got his soulmate mixed up. He loved Richie, he loved him as if he was a broken bird that would never heal. But he loved Bill like he was the moon, the sun and every star. He felt with Bill what he assumed he should feel with his soulmate, with Richie. He knew, deep down, that Richie felt this shift. Richie let him do as he pleased. Though a part of Stan could never let Richie fully go, he spent every night in Richie's bed, and kissed him every morning like he had done since he was 13. He felt Richie with every step he took and everything he looked at. He could physically feel when Richie was happy or sad or any emotion that Stan could name.

Richie was 18 when he realized his soulmate was no longer his. Of course he knew about Stan's love for Bill. He could feel his own soulmate falling for someone else within his own body for the past years. He let it happen, because seeing Stan happy was more important. So he didn't question when Stan came to bed late in the night and he didn't question when every kiss got more and more chaste. He knew. But one morning as he laid in bed, his hand absentmindedly running through Stan's hair as it was far too early for either of them to be awake he soon realized this would come to an end. Through gritted teeth and a pained breath and he closed his eyes and felt his heart break. Thankful that Stan was asleep so he didn't have to feel it too.

That same morning Stan woke up, looking over at his sleeping soulmate with a sad smile. Their relationship was bittersweet and just short of romantic, they both loved each other, far too much for either of them to break their bond. Stan stood up and got ready for the day, as he was about to leave the room he looked back at the other. He could hollowly feel in his chest Richie's own distain and a part of him didn't mind, a larger part of him hated that he was connected to Richie forever. He thought it was unfair and cruel but never said anything as he went to meet Bill.

It was late in the night when he felt it, of course he felt it building up but as he held Bills hand the hollow feeling in his own chest suffocated him. He tried to think nothing of it, he knew Richie got sad at night and he could just go home later and comfort him. Right now he just wanted to spend time with Bill. They had just seen a movie as nd now they were walking around Derry, hand in hand as they talked about whatever book Stan had convinced him to read. The sickening pained feeling got worse, Stan groaned at the discomfort, turning to Bill to try and distract himself. He kissed the slightly taller male, smiling. Everything seemed to melt away, and it did. The pain stopped completely. Stan smiled and pulled away opening his eyes to look at Bill. His smile soon dropped as did his heart. The color of Bills face was gone, and the yellow hue of the streetlight didn't shine yellow. He tried to take a deep breath but choked on it, he couldn't feel Richie.

For 13 years of his life, every day, of every moment he felt Richie. In his emotions and colors and it all was gone in a moment. Stan couldn't even remember a time when he had ever felt this dull, he swallowed thickly as he distantly heard Bills voice. "Stan, you okay? What's going on?" Bill cupped Stan's face and the other moved away from his hands, his breath was coming out in quick pants and his eyes blurred with tears he didn't know he was holding. "I can't–" He wheezed a breath out softly. "I can't see colors!" Stan only looked at Bill once more before he ran. He was only a few blocks away from home. From his soulmate. He had hoped and begged this was all a mistake.

He made it through the door easily, he had a key every since he was a kid. The Toziers were never home enough to care. Without thinking he ran up the stairs. "Richie?!" He yelled as he got closer to the door. "Chee–" As the door swung open Stan regretted so much. Richie was on the floor, his back leaned against the bed and an empty bottle of medications in his hand, dried tears on his cheeks. Stan felt everything at once. He couldn't care about the tears pouring down his cheeks as he fell to his knees in front is his soulmates body. He leaned forward and placed their foreheads together. "I'm right here, my love. Please, please don't do this." Stan hadn't used pet names in years, having stopped when he fell for Bill.

Stan looked behind the other on their shared bed, reaching for the notepad Richie had out. He began to read, "Dear Stan, You're just about the only one I can write to. I guess if I'm going to die I should give my soulmate some closure. I know you don't love me, not enough at least. I'm sorry for not being good enough. I'm sorry you were forever stuck loving a broken bird. I didn't want you to have to forever. I gave you an out, and more selfishly, I gave myself an out. I will forever love you like I said I would at 5 years old on the playground and at 13 years old at the stupid school dance. I will forever love you as boyishly as possible and in the most immature ways imaginable and I know that isn't what you wanted or needed but it's all I can or could give. You were and are the best thing that ever happened to me and I hope someday you will be truly happy. Your Soulmate, Richie."

Swallowing thickly Stan let out a gross sob, leaning his head onto Richie's cold shoulder as he cried. He gripped his shirt. "I love you. I love you so much, I'm so sorry, Richie." He sobbed harder as he remembered the part of him that hated being connected to Richie forever dissipate. He felt empty and sick, he couldn't imagine a life without Richie and he never had to, since the day he met him he saw him every day. There was never a time he didn't have Richie at an arms length away for longer than 15 hours. He got used to the comfort and security of always having someone. He always went to bed and woke up to someone next to him, someone familiar.

He stayed there for however long it took for an EMS team to pull him off and take Richie to the hospital to be declared dead. He reckoned that Bill must've called 911. He didn't have enough wherewithal to think too much about that though as he was pried away from Richie. He wanted to scream and breakdown but he could only softly cry.

The police questioned him for a little over an hour before contacting Richie's parents who were working abroad. Stan walked home, but not the place he had called home for 5.and a half years, to his actual house. He stepped inside and saw all black and white and wanted to burst into tears. His parents must've both went to sleep. When he was 13 he had a sleepover with Richie and it became so regular he ended up sleeping there every night but still saw his parents at least once a day, walking upstairs to his room that had been basically a study for half a decade he felt the memories rush back, he laid down. Alone for the first time in forever—

–With just a couple memories, a note and a lifetime full of regrets.

#stozier #it #it fandom #richie tozier #stanley uris #soulmate au #angst prompt #angst #fanfic #major character death #writing #sad writing

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