justanotherbipolarmum

[justanotherbipolarmum]

“You shouldn’t self-ID as ADHD/autistic, you’re turning a very real mental condition into a trend” Ok then stop saying delulu. Stop speculating on which cluster C personality disorder the criminals you hear about on the news have. Stop saying “schizoposting” and “acoustic” and “is it restarted?” Stop using “psycopath” and “sociopath” as catch-all ways of calling someone a bad person. Stop saying “the intrusive thoughts won” when you bleach your hair and then turn your nose up at people who suffer from very real, very scary urges of physical/sexual violence. Stop saying “I’m so OCD” as a way of calling yourself neat. Stop treating BPD/ASPD/Bipolar as inherently abusive. Stop saying “OP I am living in your walls” without tagging for unreality. Stop diagnosing complete strangers you’ve never met on r/AITA with NPD.

You first. If you don’t want our disabilities to be treated like trends then stop belittling and minimising them. I’ll NEVER judge a person for trying find labels for their symptoms when an apathetic, racist, sexist, ableist healthcare system refuses to. But I will absolutely judge a hypocrite. Which a lot of you are

[justanotherbipolarmum]

Those 'little' things mean a lot.

[The little things? The little moments? — They aren't little.

-Jon Kabat-Zinn]

[justanotherbipolarmum]

A pickpocket thinks it's ok to watch me put my phone in my pocket then follow me out of a shop with my baby then casually bump into me, I then apologize thinking it was me and really it was them making their move to steal my phone.

All my photos lost. Everything. I'm not bothered about the phone, it's the memories lost, all those messages, last month's suprise engagement in Venice. Even my daughter's passport photo in the back of phone case.

The worst bit for me was that it was a woman, probably a mum.

I don't usually wish harm on people but I hope that woman shits herself in public for the rest of her life and feel shame. You really are scum.

Normally I put my phone in my bra but I had a high neck dress on so I didn't do it that day. My jacket has such deep pockets you couldn't see my phone, that woman watched me then followed me. It keeps going round in my head and it won't stop.

#robbed #pickpocket #memories lost #mood diary #cyclothymia #mood disorders #documenting life #low mood #feeling shitty #todays thoughts #disgusting humans #low life scum #phone thief #i even said sorry #followed #obsessive thoughts #obsessive thought process #give my brain a break

[justanotherbipolarmum]

Today I cried. I really cried and sobbed.

My skin and joints have been hurting me so much these last few days, it hurts just trying to stretch. I usually feel like this a day or two before I become really unwell but since labour and Sepsis this happens even when i have a slight cold. My pain tolerance is low, my immune is low and feel shit tbh.

Anxiety is through the roof, I no longer feel like the same person I used to be. I genuinely feel so low but could that be my mood disorder? Maybe my bad labour experience changed me not the illness? Or has Sepsis really changed me?

#mood diary #cyclothymia #mood disorders #documenting life #mental health #low mood #mum life #feeling shitty #todays thoughts #sepsis #pregnancy #Labour experience #body pain #emotions #MAS

[justanotherbipolarmum]

Seeing my phone ring sends me in a panic, I don't even know how it rings as it's always on silent.

I've not left the house for days

Last night I had takeaway for dinner

Exercise? My brain and body can't even imagine doing that, it's tiring.

Today I laughed when my 9 month old daughter farted. Such a big fart for a little human.

Getting dressed and having a shower? So far I'm still in yesterday's pjs and haven't washed for a week.

I enjoy being alone at times, but some days being alone is so lonely.

some things my mental illnesses prevent me from doing sometimes:

• picking up the phone

• leaving the house

• eating healthy

• exercising

• laughing

• getting dressed

• getting a shower

• being alone

sometimes just doing one of these a day is a victory for me, reblog if you relate, and if you do- i’m proud of you for what you did do today <3

#reblog #mood diary #cyclothymia #mood disorders #documenting life #mental health #low mood #mum life #bipolar #mood disorder #moods #current mood #bipolar disorder #depression

[justanotherbipolarmum]

6am Sunrise. Sky looks warm but the weather was cold. October 2022. Hertfordshire, UK.

#sunrise #pink sky #good morning #hertfordshire #orange sky #october #2022 #autumn #6am #uk #on the job

[justanotherbipolarmum]

today's fun and exciting health fact! a 'sense of impending doom' is an actual recognized medical symptom, and one associated with big systemic problems, like DIC (disseminated intravascular coagulation) from a blood transfusion reaction, or with sepsis!

[justanotherbipolarmum]

Campomarino, Campobasso. Italy. September 2023

#campomarino #campobasso #italy #sunset #evening walks

[justanotherbipolarmum]

🥺

[justanotherbipolarmum]

Sun, sea, Aperol and gelato.

Campomarino Lido, Campobasso, Italy. 2023

#summer #beach #beachlife #italytravel #italy #italia #adriatic sea #adriatico #Campomarino #aperol spritz #miramare #the beach #sun

[justanotherbipolarmum]

Today's thoughts

I feel having Sepsis during childbirth has changed me. I genuinely do not feel like the same person anymore. My pain tolerance has changed, even my patience. I never realised how serious Sepsis was until I realised hospital staff were keeping the diagnosis away from me.

#mood diary #cyclothymia #documenting life #mental health #low mood #mum life #childbirth #illness in hospital #sepsis #hospital #trauma #illness #nhs

[justanotherbipolarmum]

My skin hurts

My joints hurt

Everything hurts

#mood diary #cyclothymia #documenting life #body pain #arthritis #ankylosing spondylitis #joint pain

[justanotherbipolarmum]

Anxiety is real and I hate it

The shaking and sudden sweating, that numbness and tingling that runs down your arms into both hands, a dry mouth so dry its hard to swallow. Trying to catch your breath but your racing heartbeat won't let you. At the same time your trying to get your thoughts together so you can keep telling yourself dont have a panic attack. The tension that suddenly built up in your body has made you ache all over. Your so worked up over that 'trigger/worry' that you can feel your headache becoming a migraine.

'Why you getting so worked up for? Your overreacting. Stop being silly.

#mood diary #cyclothymia #mood disorders #documenting life #anxiety #anxiety is real #anxiousness #anxious #bipolar #panic attack #anxiety disorder #anxiety depression

[justanotherbipolarmum]

SOMETIMES ITS REALLY HARD TO SWITCH OFF MY BRAIN. OTHER TIMES MY BRAIN DOESNT EVEN TURN THE PAGE.

#mood diary #cyclothymia #mood disorders #mental health #documenting life #low mood #mum life #give my brain a break #todays thoughts #bipolar #depression

[justanotherbipolarmum]

CAN I HAVE A REMOTE CONTROL SO I CAN TURN OFF BAD DREAMS PLEASE.

Had another one of those vivid detailed dreams again, it actually set off my stress levels on my smartwatch.

There were gypsy travellers parading the streets with massive horses with beautiful black coats. They looked like they were on super powerful steroids. One came charging round the corner, then another but this time there was a fair haired man driving a red double decker London bus that was the size of a HGV. He took the corner so fast I visioned him having an accident, it was like my thoughts were seconds ahead of reality as right before my eyes the HGV smashed into a water Then a young teenage fountain with such force the driver came flying out hitting his back then bouncing off heading face first into a shop front window. His leg was hanging off as was his head. What the fuck?! I ran to the guy without a thought, crying and panicking. I remember covering my mouth and nose like I was trying to hold it in and I kept saying to him 'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry your going through this'. A young teenage boy comes along wearing a red football shirt looking down and the dismantled man and makes a phone call. He was so calm.

I woke up. Wtf. Panicking and feeling fucking scared.

#mood diary #cyclothymia #mood disorders #mental health #documenting life #dream #manic dreams #dream moods #what do dreams mean #meaning #bad dreams

[justanotherbipolarmum]

My Physiatrist increased my antidepressant dose at my last appointment. She says if that doesn't help then we look at changing antidepressant. So here goes.....

#mood diary #cyclothymia #mood disorders #mental health #documenting life #low mood #antidepressants #Physiatrist #guinea pig #medication

[justanotherbipolarmum]

THE WAY THESE MOODS SWING SO DANGEROUSLY.

WHERE AM I GOING?

WHAT AM I DOING?

WHAT AM I SAYING?

ERM HELLOOO!!!!!!!

#cyclothymia #mood diary #inbetween moods #mood disorders #moods a bitch #invisible illness #mental health #you dont look sick