p4x-639 - Tumblr blog

p4x-639 · 2 days

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#my art

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p4x-639 · 20 days

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Barcelona

#barcelona #barceloneta #architecture #urban #urban photography #street photography #film photography #35mm #analog #original photography #photographers on tumblr #my shots

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p4x-639 · 20 days

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Just want to say whatever you’re going through, I hope it gets easier for you, and I hope your art can help remind you that there are things worth enjoying. Obviously, I don’t know you and your story but I do know your art has talent and it’s worth showing the world. At the same time, it’s totally understandable to have boundaries and want things private. But just know that you’re not alone ❤️

Thank you. But I think I am.

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p4x-639 · 21 days

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im sorry but why do you regret your fanart sm?

it's more the black&white comics i made that i regret. well, the fanarts too, yes... and i don't know what it is i regret. making them? or having to kill them?

i mean, i do like my fanarts. i think they're good, and i think most new tumblr fans of heat would have liked finding them. in their shoes i'd love to be able to find them. i regret having to kill that possibility. i just feel like i have to. how do you explain wanting to kill yourself?... you just gotta go. i don't want to be perceived, i'm too fucking depressed, angry and hurt to even try, and i'm so fucking sad i made all this art that i feel i can't share and that is just condemned to die in the dark.

the black&white comics have the added bonus of not fitting my vision of my AU anymore, yet they are impossible to fully orphan. so that's great too. whole thing's just a mess to deal with.

so, i guess it's regretting having loved something so much and still feeling like it failed, like people don't care, so you kill it all so that your brain can look at it and go "see, if it wasn't a failure, it wouldn't be dead, would it?"

#the depressed brain doesn't look for sense it looks for reasons to kill itself #tw self destruction #tw suicide talk #i still don't feel like people cared #or like i ever belonged here #or like anyone misses my art #haha the way depression brain picks what it wants to believe

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p4x-639 · 22 days

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didn't realize until recently that your url is the planet from Stargate SG1 'Window of Opportunity'! Now I'm delighted every time I see it <3

Yes, my URL does come from P4X-639, the planet from Stargate's Window of Opportunity, one of, if not the most, popular Stargate episode. I'm a fan. That being said... I don't know where you're seeing my URL these days... and like donald breedan in heat said... what are you proud delighted of me for??? 😭😭😭😭😭

#i know delighted of me doesn't work. grammaticaly. but it's the vibe that counts

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p4x-639 · 22 days

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update thing i guess

i thankfully don't regret privating the art here

no plans to unprivate or post more fanarts either

all the au-related asks, art and comics are still alive since the masterpost is still linked on A03, but the non-au related ones are truly unfindable. somehow i don't feel sad about that? i don't know if i should. shit, i probably should, but i don't. i really liked most of them. and yet.

i realised that eventually i'll take the masterpost down too... effectively killing all the stuff i put exclusively on tumblr. all the black and white comics, etc. i wish, i don't know, that i was sad about that. at least that i was sad about not being sad. i feel like i could removie it right now, honestly there are only like 2 or 3 posts worth saving on it. i really don't know what to do about it.

since i already don't care anymore about both the fanarts and the masterpost, i'm worried about not caring about the graphic novel at some point. it's like my main reason not to commit suicide right now so yikes.

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p4x-639 · 1 month

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#photography #film photography #original photographers #original photography #landscape photography #sky #clouds #sun #my shots #35mm film

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p4x-639 · 2 months

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#chainsaw man #csm #katana man #csm fanart #my art

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p4x-639 · 3 months

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#clouds #sky #film photography #35mm photography #35mm #35mm film #original photographers #my shots

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p4x-639 · 4 months

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comms open until they're closed TL;DR send email (not a dm) at [email protected] with details and references if you want one ok thanks (commission sheet currently being reworked but all the styles visible on my blog are possible)

also open: free ($0,00)graphic design commissions for infographics/character or info or comm sheets or templates or that kind of things. More than that maybe. send email also

closed for now

#commissions #commissions open #commission sheet #art commissions #artist on tumblr #graphic design commissions #graphic design

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p4x-639 · 5 months

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