solesurvivorkat

[solesurvivorkat]

Shadow of Steel ('Remastered' - 2.0!) - Chapter 1 - Kat123 - Fallout 4 [Archive of Our Own]

For anyone who might still be interested - with the 'Fallout' Amazon series coming out in April (can't wait! Hope they don't screw it up!), and having taken a chunk of time to settle into my new job and have a 'mental health break', I knew it was time to finally get the ball rolling on my 'redo' of my Fallout 4 fic, 'Shadow of Steel'.

I'm by no means a great writer - but there were little things that I wanted to tweak w/ my fic, and this is my chance to do so and finally take the story forward.

I've started posting the chapters from the beginning again. They're largely the same - save for a few grammatical fixes and a slightly different wording here or there. If you choose to skip any, the main story will basically be the same and you won't really miss anything. However - as I get into later chapters, I might change a few more details. Again - main story will be the same, but... well, I leave it up to you guys to do as you wish. Obviously I hope whatever 'fans' I have will continue to read it, but if not, I understand. I just want to get my story finally told (hopefully).

#fallout 4 #fallout #Shadow of Steel #fallout 4 fanfic #my fanfic #my fic #fallout 4 fic #ao3 #archive of our own #back in the saddle #Knight Nora Taylor #female sole survivor #sole survivor

[solesurvivorkat]

Here Comes the Sun! (Doo doo doo doo!)

I'm beyond tired of ME saying it all the time, but I have not died, disappeared, or given up!

Longer story short: holidays were hectic but good, and I FINALLY got to start my new position within the company I work for - and though I'm only on my 2nd day of training so far, it's amazing the difference I feel!

It's like a huge weight has been lifted off of my back/shoulders/chest. I'm not stressed at work, I'm not anxious, my trainer is like, the sweetest, most patient and welcoming woman, I'm enjoying all that I'm learning so far and am eager to learn some more, I look forward to the future in my new job, I really think it'll be a much better fit for me and my life, and I hope to be here for a long time to come!

It's nothing personal at all against my previous coworkers... but you ever feel like you're just not you at your job? Like it's turning into someone you don't recognize and/or like? My prior position wasn't an awful one (I've had jobs that were soooo much worse), and it wasn't inherently difficult - but I was doing a lot on my own w/ next to no help (not my coworkers' fault, they had their own duties to do), and it felt like I was on a never-ending treadmill with no end in sight. It was just... so discouraging.

I know I'm still in the 'honeymoon stage' of my new position, and it won't always be perfect/'fun'/easy/etc... but I'm so happy to be here (so far) and it's amazing what a difference I feel now (like a '180').

ANYWAY - I feel like I FINALLY have some decent time to devote to 'Shadow of Steel' again, and am actually getting some MUCH-needed work done on it today! I really, really hope to have a chunk of the 'slightly updated', revamped previous chapters up on Ao3 relatively soon!

As for my other fics... well... I'll be 100% honest, I don't know if I'll ever finish 'The Book of John'. ...Which is really a shame, b/c I seriously had so many plans & creative ideas for that fic (plus, I totally wanted to explore the slow burn that would be John & Sarah in that fic). I'm not 100% cancelling it out just yet, but I'd say it's definitely in the 'limbo/chopping block' area of my writing plans. :-(

'I Need to Tell You' - same as above. I'd say it's around 2/3 of the way finished, so I would really like to complete this one (especially since it's more plausible for John & Sarah to have a happy ending in this one, LOL)... but I don't know yet if it'll happen. We'll see, I guess?

Thank you for hanging in there and waiting patiently, those of you that did... but if you haven't, I don't blame you one bit - but I'd like to hope that you'll give me another chance (someday, heh).

.....And in my mind, Arthur Maxson is waiting outside my door with a baseball bat - since his much-liked girlfriend has been kidnapped for forever now, and he really doesn't appreciate my excuses, LOL. *XD

#fallout 4 #fallout 4 fanfic #my fanfic #shadow of steel #my fic #fallout 4 fic #positive changes #slowly but surely #hopeful #hopeful for the future #the book of john #I Need to Tell You #my fics #ch-ch-ch-changes

[solesurvivorkat]

I hope you’re having a Merry Christmas :)

Aww, thank you so much! 💗 It sure was busy (Christmas stuff at 3 different houses over 1 1/2 days), and I wish I had more vacation time (going right back to work tomorrow, sigh), but what can you do? At least it was a very nice holiday. :)

[solesurvivorkat]

Had a good (chaotic, but good, lol) mini-break during Thanksgiving, hope you all had the same! Will get 'back to the grind' soon! :-)

[solesurvivorkat]

...I'm up to chapter 7 in the 'Shadow of Steel' 'cleanup' so far. Hoping to release the updates in 10-chapter-groups. Wanted to have more done, but things have been tough @ home w/ my son & behavior @ school. Between that & work, I've been pretty mentally/emotionally exhausted lately.

They are coming, I promise. I will get there.

#shadow of steel #my fanfic #fallout 4 fanfic #my fic #fallout 4 #fallout 4 fic #spectrum mom #one day at a time #life is heavy sometimes #so tired

[solesurvivorkat]

'Shadow of Steel' - the 'ghosts' never left me...

Maybe it's because I've started wearing my 'Maxson coat' again for the fall/winter season (yes, I seriously have one IRL. I love this coat so freaking much, lol. It's ridiculous how much I love this coat, lmao. And I've gotten *SO* many compliments on it from people! But I digress...), but I've been thinking of 'Shadow of Steel' a lot lately (my 'Fallout 4' fanfic, for anyone who doesn't know).

Truthfully, I really never stopped thinking about it. Even in my busiest days, it was still always in the back of my mind. I never wanted to give up on it, and even when I thought I might have to just let it go forever, it was still lurking around in the back of my brain, demanding I continue the characters' stories (especially since Nora is still technically kidnapped in it and I actually feel bad about it, and Arthur Maxson hates me for it, LMAO).

I don't expect many people to still care about this fic - and considering how much time has gone by since I first started writing it, I wouldn't blame you. And it's not a short fic, either. It's quite long. So to anyone you might want to read it or start over from the beginning to refresh their memory of it, it's a bit of a feat.

Looking back on it, there's parts of the fic that I'm not crazy about - either b/c I'm not 100% thrilled with the way I wrote stuff at that time (quality-wise), or little tiny decisions I made with characters here & there. However, people who have commented on the fic have been sooo generous, kind, and flattering to me regardless, and I can't even put in to words just how much their words have meant to me (especially a review that I actually got kind of recently, to my surprise, and it blew me away... if you're reading these words now, I will respond to your comment as soon as I can! I haven't forgotten/ignored you! <3 )

SO.

Here's my 'thought': despite everything, I DO want to continue writing this fic! Even if no one read it, it's still something that's important to me - even if I can't put into words why, exactly.

If even one or two people reading this would be willing to continue enjoying a future of 'Shadow of Steel', I put it to you - would you rather see: - a 'rebooted do-over' of 'Shadow of Steel', starting from the very beginning - the main plot would be exactly the same, but small (insignificant in the long run) details would be updated/rewritten in a way I feel more satisfied with - and once caught up to the current point, the fic would continue from there. - OR - - I just keep whatever's already there there, and just continue straight on from this point.

Should I fix/update what I've already written and (attempt to) make the writing a little better, or just move forward? (I feel like it's similar to when an artist looks at a drawing they made long ago & thinks, '...My skills are different now. I could draw that better this time around.') Please let me know what you think, anyone! Your feedback would be greatly appreciated! <3

#shadow of steel #fallout 4 fic #fallout 4 fanfic #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #ao3 fic #fallout 4 #fo4 #fo4 fic #fo4 fanfic #sole survivor #feedback #fic feedback #what do you think #what should I do #hmmm #decisions decisions #writing bug is making me a little itchy! #my fic #my fanfic

[solesurvivorkat]

...It's been a long time.

Being a mom of 2 young kids, I'm busy, like... ALL the time. Have been for a long time now. Ever since one of my coworkers retired, I've basically been doing the job of TWO people ('Oh we're going to hire someone to replace him, we promise'... yeah, okay...). It's been non-stop since... God, I don't even remember when.

I finally started getting a bit burnt-out at work, and - longer story short - applied for a different position within the company I work for. And I got it! Granted, I work for an insurance company - it's not wholly interesting (I think, anyway, lol)... but at least I (hopefully) won't feel like I'm on a treadmill, constantly working and not really getting anywhere worthwhile. I haven't started the position yet - I'm still doing my current job until... they tell me otherwise, lol. Supposedly I should be able to start my new job 'soon'... but I've heard that more than once, so who knows when that will really be. At least there will be an end in sight SOMEtime in the (hopefully near) future.

Even now, after all this time... I still think about my writing. About my fics. I know... it's been forever. No one probably even cares anymore, lol. I'm just a tiny bit bummed that stuff got let hanging on all 3 fics and was never finished. :-/ I had such plans for those stories, too. For the characters. Such 'storylines' that I thought were cool, clever.

...Life.

And I still think about the people I used to hang with online from time to time. I haven't forgotten anyone. ...I'm sure some have forgotten me. And that's okay... that happens in life sometimes. Sometimes people are part of your life for a short period of time, and then life just takes you in different directions. I was one of the 'old people' in the group anyway, so even when I fit in, I didn't really 100% fit in. ...But then again, I almost never 100% fit in anywhere anyway, lol. Kind of what happens when you're 'on the spectrum'... it's like being an alien, or being on the other side of a store window watching the people inside. You can still communicate with them (and vice-versa), but... there's still an invisible barrier there.

So... yeah, I dunno, lol. For the first time in what feels like a really, really, REALLY long time, I had a moment at work in which I could actually just sit in my chair and just... 'think'. Reminisce. Remember. ...Think about some of the stuff I miss. The people I used to talk to. The things I used to do. I don't regret having kids, of course (I adore my 'babies' - even in some of their worst, most frustrating & draining moments), but I can't help but remember as I walk by that imaginary glass window... if there's anyone that turns their head and looks back at me, remembers who I was. Wonders how I am. If I'm even a micro-second of a thought.

((So... in the rare chance that anyone comes across this and *IS* still curious - no offense taken if you're not - my son is now 6 & in kindergarten, my daughter is now 2, work & my kids take up almost all of my time. I'm perpetually busy, and don't feel like I have as much energy for 'extra' things like I used to. I still make magnetic glasses toppers - but haven't spent as much time doing that for a bit b/c I've been so drained on a regular basis. I still update my YouTube channel (and want to get back into that more), it's just been slow-going for now.

I'm not unhappy - just very busy and only have so many 'spoons' per day to spend... once I run out of those, I just don't have the ability to get much else done. I know things won't be like this forever - I look forward to changing jobs in the future (again, same company), with the possibility to work from home once I'm trained (someday), which I think will make my life QUITE a bit easier (saving some money on gas, being home more, not getting home from work as late in the day, having an easier time making appointments & such, etc). So... we'll see, I guess.))

#life update #perpetually drained #one day at a time #someday #looking forward to the future #doing my best #doing what I can #always busy #I miss free time

[solesurvivorkat]

Hello there.....

............Nope. Still not dead (so far). Lol.

Don't think many people are missing me anymore... and that's okay - time continues, people move on and grow apart, and life happens. ::shrugs:: What're you gonna do, right?

Not sure about the state of my stories/fics @ this point... haven't officially decided anything. I once had absolutely every intention of finishing them - I really did love writing them & had many plans for the storyline(s). I just... have so little free time right now that I don't know what the future holds for them. :-/

What I've been doing/Where I've been: 'Mom-ing', lol. I mean, that's really 90-95% of it. My son's now 5, ABA has been great for him, and we're preparing him for kindergarten in the fall. My daughter's 1 1/2 and growing and learning a little more every day. Not every day is 'easy', but for the most part we're doing okay.

I also bought a Cricut Maker cutting machine & eventually started a small side business making and selling my own magnetic toppers for Pair Eyewear glasses (not affiliated with them, just doing my own crafts) - but I want to branch out to other crafts as well. I enjoy it - creating my own designs & making a product for someone else to wear & enjoy. It's a neat feeling - creating something that other people want to use. Pretty cool! It's still in its starting stages, but I'm hoping to gain more customers in the future. If you're ever on FB or Etsy, look me up: - VIP Creations on FB - VIP Creations on Etsy

So... yeah, that's about it so far. ...I'm not super exciting, hehe. ::shrugs again:: If you still wanna chat, definitely feel free to hit me up! I hope 'the gang' I used to chat semi-regularly with is doing well & are all relatively happy. ...It's kinda tough being an older person in the group - a little less to relate to people with, and little 'cliques' always seem to form here & there (my whole life I never really fit in with ANY group/'clique' - that's just me & my weird spectrum-ness, hehe)... but no ill feelings (mostly, LOL). Just... taking one day at a time.

#busy mom #hobbies #small business #crafts #Pair eyewear #customizable glasses #busy #cricut #VIP Creations #mom-ing #designs #toppers #glasses toppers #on the outside looking in #spectrum life #crafting

[solesurvivorkat]

I know it's been forever, & once again - I have not abandoned people/my fics. ...But if you know/understand me at ALL, you'll get why I suddenly had to share this:

...Not gonna get it (saving money for several different things), but... I may just stare the pics from time to time. ;__;*

#fallout 4 #paladin danse #danse #brotherhood of steel #oof #sigh #inspiration #pulling me back in

[solesurvivorkat]

Day 3 of Covid at home w/ the kids. 😑 Husband is the only one who didn't get it - he's downstairs while the 3 of us are quarantining upstairs. Just didn't want people to think I dropped off the face of the earth (...again, lol).

I'm doing okay - some coughing, occasional chills, & some fatigue/muscle aches... but I usually get bronchitis at LEAST once a year (usually a few times) so I've had worse. It's watching the kids that I could do without (they have no symptoms).

Don't get me wrong... of COURSE I love them - but I'm by myself up here & they're little (and obnoxious... they're 1 and 4 years old, of course they are), so every moment they're awake is a constant babysitting marathon. ...While being tired, a bit phlegmy, & a bit sore. 😑 😮‍💨 🤔 😣 😩 😒

And it's going to continue to be like this until next Tuesday, when they can finally go back to daycare unmasked.

...Dear God.

#covid19 #covid #quarantining #quarantine sucks #babysitting marathon #fml #the symptoms aren't even the worst part of this #motherhood woes #I love my kids #but I don't like my kids right now

[solesurvivorkat]

Getting a kick out of my new Pair eyeglasses! 👓 🕶

Different frames to choose from (mine is 'The Reese'), almost endless possibilities for the top frames! Love it! 😍 🤩 🥸 🤓

(Not sponsored/endorsed by Pair, just enjoying their product)

#Pair Glasses #Pair Eyewear #The Reese #Rockin' Reese #Reese is the word #Reese Lightning #eyeglasses #eyewear #customizable #customizable eyewear #magnetic eyewear #customizable eyeglasses #fun with magnets

[solesurvivorkat]

Pair Eyewear

My writing (and YouTube channel, and a couple other of my interests) had taken a bit of a backseat lately, because I found a new special interest to distract me:

Pair Eyewear

(Note: this turned into a bit of a longer post, so I put it behind a cut. I am NOT sponsored by/affiliated with Pair in any way, I just wanted to share some of my personal thoughts/experiences with them thus far.)

I knew my eyesight was changing just a little bit (not to a point in which I couldn't see, but I could still tell it wasn't 100% the same), and it had been years since my last eye checkup. I had to wait quite a bit for my eye appointment to be scheduled, and then wait for the appointment day to arrive.

It was really hard to wait because in the meantime, I'd discovered the beauty of Pair Eyewear, and just how addicting it can be. Longer story short, for those of you who've never heard of it: Imagine getting a pair of glasses, and then making that frame look (decoration-wise) almost any way you want/can imagine - either to match any outfit, or reflect any interest/decorative idea. That's Pair. Glasses with small magnets on the base frame - and then you can order different tops (also w/ magnets on them, to stay on the base pair) to align over the base pair to make them look different.

They have all different categories of top frames (or 'toppers', as they're often referred by):

...Not enough? Fine - you can also find people who create and sell their own toppers on Etsy (depending on the style of base frame you get - some people don't create for all styles) or Facebook. Really - the only limit is your imagination (...or your wallet, I suppose, lol).

There's also over 10 different styles of base frames (round, rectangular, cat-eye, narrow, medium, wide, etc), and 6 different colors the base frames can come in, so there's tons of room for customization.

When I finally had my eye appt. (more on that in a sec) and got my glasses prescription, I could finally try out Pair! I picked out the 'Reese' base frame (narrow, round frames... cat-eye frames ad rectangular frames seem to be really popular, but they're not for me personally).

Again - much longer story short, I loved seeing all the different colors/designs/types of toppers I could choose from (toppers range from $20-30 each, depending). After quite a bit of time looking at tons of them (and they're also coming out w/ a 'summer collection' in a couple days, God help me, lol), I purchased my base frame, a sunglasses topper, and a few other toppers from Pair:

I didn't order the star ones in time for Memorial Day, but I'll still have 'em for July 4th. The cheeseburger ones were so goofy that I knew I HAD to buy them (LOL), the silver sparkle ones were pretty, and Spider-Man is totally my young son's thing, so I knew I had to get those too. (I got a few more from misc. sellers on Facebook - I'll talk about those when they arrive in the mail)

The base frames start at $60 - however. That's the price for either a single-strength prescription, or if you just wanted to get Non-Rx glasses (blue light blocking, OTC readers, etc).

I was not as lucky, lol.

The good news is that without glasses, my eyesight is technically still 20/20 - I can see 'legally' well enough that it doesn't hinder my driving or everyday life much. But my eyesight is starting to go a tiny bit - I've worn OTC reading glasses (+1.50s) for years, and turns out I also am starting to have a tiny bit of trouble reading tiny print 100% clearly from further away (think like, hanging menus in take-out restaurants - I can read them, but the words aren't 100% crisp like they would be in someone w/ perfect eyesight).

The optometrist told me I could go w/o glasses if I wanted and I'd be fine (unless my sight suddenly got worse, and I'll get them rechecked in 2 years) - but if I wanted to wear glasses, I'd either have to get 2 different pairs (one for reading, one for further away) or just get readers and deal w/ the slightly blurry further-away tiny words.

ANYWAY - I really wanted my Pairs (lol), so I ordered what is called 'Progressive' lenses - think like, bifocals w/o the lines in the lenses. I've heard that some angles in the lenses can look slightly distorted & it may take a tiny bit if getting used to - but I was willing to take the risk (I've heard mostly good things about Par progressive glasses).

Progressive/bifocal/multifocal lenses, obviously because they have more than one strength, will cost more than just the $60 base price. Depending on what your Rx needs are (plus you can add-on blue light-blocking features, transition lenses that darken in brighter light, and some other options if you want - I did not), the cost can go from $60 to a few hundred dollars (off the top of my head, I think mine were in the $200-range).

...Yes, this is definitely more pricey - but (in theory) I would see better, and with all the customization options I had, it was worth the money. Some people have several pairs of glasses just b/c they want different styles/looks... this is ONE pair w/ different toppers you can change out. Plus, some people spend that much (or more!) for REGULAR glasses, so really - seemed totally worth it.

AT ANY RATE: If anyone is interested, definitely check it out. I should get my new glasses in the mail tomorrow (after lots of impatient waiting, lol) so I'll let you know how they are - and if anyone decides to buy from them, use the code/link below and I can save you a little money in the process. :-)

Get $25 off your first order of $60 or more!

#Pair eyewear #The Reese #Reese is the word #Reese lightning #yes I am a dork #but I'm a (relatively) happy dork #lol #prescription glasses #customizable glasses #express yourself #glasses don't have to be boring #or a burden #patience is hard #Patience is not my strong suit

[solesurvivorkat]

Chapters: 13/? Fandom: Far Cry 5, Far Cry: New Dawn

(FC5 No-Cult AU, based off of the '90s movie 'While You Were Sleeping'.)

Chapter Summary: John visits Jacob. Sarah has a surprise meeting and talks to Nick. Jacob has a surprise visitor and makes a decision. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On a 'good day', I basically have about 1.5 hours a day that are truly my own, so I will try to update this and my other 2 fics as much as I can, heh.  😅

#I Need to Tell You #chapter update #my fic #my fanfic #FC5 fic #FC5 AU #FC5 AU fic #FC5 fanfic #While You Were Sleeping #the plot thickens #dun dun duuuuun #Sarah Rook #Jacob Seed #John Seed

[solesurvivorkat]

Chapter done! ...Just kidding. Apparently. -__-**

Me: Yay, I finished writing the chapter!

My Brain (reading it through): Hmm... did you include that extra scene you were considering putting in?

Me: But... but... the whole thing is already done. Finished. I agonized for hours over writing one of the scenes in it to make it perfect (...enough), but now the whole thing is done. I finished it.

Brain: Did you, now?

Me: ........

Brain: .......

Me: ...Gawd... damn it. I hate you so much.

Brain:

#my writing #updating a chapter #my fic #writing can be hard #my brain is mean #lol #fanfic #done just kidding #hold your horses #now do MOAR #sigh

[solesurvivorkat]

I only JUST NOW realized that I got the name of my OWN fic wrong in my last Tumblr post - both in the title, and in the tags (since fixed). Geez. ::pinches the bridge of her nose:: ...I'm an idiot. What can I say. (LOL)

[solesurvivorkat]

New chapter for my Far Cry 5 AU fic!

Chapter Summary: Nick gives Jacob a bit of a 'pep talk'. Sarah and Jacob talk a bit. The 'poop starts to hit the fan' and the plot begins to thicken even more!

#I Should Tell You #FC5 AU #FC5 AU fic #Far Cry 5 fic #Far Cry 5 AU #Far Cry 5 AU fic #While You Were Sleeping #my fic #chapter update #Sarah Rook #Jacob Seed #Nick Rye #Nick means well #I dunno Nick #good intentions #my fanfic

[solesurvivorkat]

'I Need to Tell You': a look back

“John... why are you asking her all these questions?” Faith asked, standing up from her seat.

“Don’t ask me-” John glanced at her, then glared back at Sarah. “-Ask her boyfriend ,” he snarled, voice full of venom.

Sarah blinked a few times and tilted her head, caught off guard. 

...Wh... what??

Megan’s face turned sour. “That isn't very funny, you know,” she scolded, motioning to Jacob.

“No no-” John also gestured at his unconscious brother. “Not this boyfriend...” He faced Sarah again, his eyes forming slits. “... Hercules Drubman.” He articulated every syllable of the name dramatically, looking somewhat proud of himself.

A very unladylike snort burst from Sarah’s mouth before she could stop it and she laughed, incredulous and dumbstruck for a second. “Herc- Hurk Junior??”

“Mm-hmm, that's right,” John said smugly. “Mr. Hurk Drubman Junior. He said that you were ‘intimate’.”

“Yeah, well, he’s also said that he invented aluminum foil!” Sarah shot back. “And his name is not ‘Hercules’, it’s just ‘Hurk’. The man is delusional.”

“He was very lucid when l talked to him,” John insisted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was rereading my FC5 AU fic (to refresh my memory as I work on the next chapter), and I forgot how much I love this scene - both in the fic, and in the movie it's based on ('While You Were Sleeping' with Sandra Bullock). It's just so funny watching it - and then picturing a confused and suspicious John Seed trying to accuse Sarah of having an affair on his brother Jacob with Hurk Jr... it's almost too much for me. *XD (snorts)

Can't wait to get more going!

#my fanfic #my writing #FC5 AU fic #Far Cry 5 AU fic #my fanfiction #John Seed #Sarah Rook #Faith Seed #Poor Hurk Jr. #Kind of a sweet guy but still a joke lol #While You Were Sleeping #misunderstandings #don't cheat on my coma brother #I've got you now you hussy #Oh no you don't sir #Take Hurk Jr's words with a grain of salt #I Need to Tell You