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#//Jfc Alastor...
alastors-radioshow · 25 days
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"Sometimes, I ignore you, so I feel in control 'Cause really, I adore you, and I can't leave you alone Fed up with the fantasies that cover what is wrong Come on, baby, let's just get drunk, forget we don't get on
You're like my dad, you'd get on well I send my best regards from Hell
It almost feels like a joke to play out a part When you are not a starring role, in someone else's heart You know I'd rather walk alone Than play a supporting role If I can't get the starring role~"
[Starring Role - MARINA]
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dramamines · 4 months
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Charlie hasn't seen Lilith in seven years, and Alastor has been 'on sabbatical' for seven years. Do we think this is coincidence, or something more??
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macabr3-barbi3 · 2 months
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A Practical Demonstration (Alastor/Reader)
The deal you made with Alastor leads to an unexpected demonstration.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/54229351/chapters/137324059
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(ayyo I never posted the first and second chapter of this so: here we go!) Chapter 2 Chapter 3
Tags: Sex Toys; Non Sex-Repulsed Alastor; Reader-Insert
“What in the nine rings is that shit?”
“Hi, Angel,” you greet him as he came into your room, not bothering to close the door fully behind him. “As always, nice of you to knock.” You’ve got a wide spread of documents scattered across the desk, various color schemes and books on light studies and all sorts of shit that Velvette had asked you to look into for her. You don’t mind helping out where you can but you had been at this for hours, and Angel showing up unannounced was always a good way to distract you when you were trying to work.
The demon shrugs. “Eh, ya get used to it,” he says with a grin, his sharp teeth coming into view, the gold one glinting in the light from your desk. “But for real, what is that thing?” He points to your nightstand, where the rose toy you neglected to put away sat on proud display.
You flush and race across the room, throwing the toy unceremoniously back inside. “It’s really nothing,” you tell him, and when he approaches you spread your arms out to try to keep him back. “Angel, come on-”
He’s sprouted his third set of arms to reach around you, opening the drawer and pulling your newest gift out from the top. “Come on now, ya don’t gotta be ashamed if it's a sex thing!” He lets it sit in his hand as he poses with the rest of his arms, blinking coyly at you in his new position. “I basically am a sex thing, baby, it don’t bother me none!” He holds it up to inspect, and when he brings it a little too close to his face you drag his arm back away. “Where’d ya get this thing?”
It was a gift from Velvette, something new that Vox and Valentino had created together that your friend had felt compelled to shove into your hands one day. “Keep it on the low, yeah?” She had said, an eyebrow raised and a cocky smirk on her face. “New product, can’t be lettin’ it get in the wrong hands but Satan knows ya ain’t gettin’ any action in that rickety joint of yours.” You had blushed and stammered and protested but ultimately had taken the damn thing, placing it on the nightstand in your room when you returned that day and not touching it beyond the one time you turned it on- just out of curiosity- and saw the force of the suction that it could generate.
“Velvette gave it to me, and it’s a sex toy,” you tell him, and he gives you a knowing look.
“Ahh, she’s still tryna get ya laid, huh?” You close your eyes and give him a tight nod. “She still doesn’t know about your thing for tall and freaky?”
You slam your hands over his mouth, eyes darting to the partially open door, not noticing the shadow that slipped into the room mere moments before. “Angel! Shut up!”
“Whaaaat?” He complains, pulling your hands away from his mouth. “It’s not like it’s a secret- pretty much everyone knows except the Strawberry Pimp himself, and-”
“And,” you interrupt him, taking the toy from his hands and throwing it back into the nightstand, “I would like to keep it that way. And don’t call him that,” you add as an afterthought.
Angel groans as he started walking away. “Spoilsport,” he calls over his shoulder. “Ya never let me have any fun.” He exits the room and purposely leaves the door fully open this time, and with an eye roll you follow him, sure that Charlie and Vaggie have dinner ready by now.
Alastor is there when you stroll into the dining room, his customary smile in place as he looks at the two of you. “Evening, friends!” He greets you, and you give him a smile back. “I’ve saved a seat for you, my dear,” he says, and pulls out the chair to the right of the one he normally sits in.
Your face flushes, and Angel snickers beside you as he goes around the table to sit by Husk. “You don’t have to do that, Alastor,” you tell him, and his grin sharpens dangerously.
“But of course I do,” he says smoothly, quietly, fanning out his napkin to sit across his lap as he sits. “What would dear Velvette think if she knew we weren’t getting along?”
Your spine stiffens, and a glance around the room confirms that no one else had heard him. It was the only point of contention between the two of you, really, the deal that you had made with him to keep Velvette safe from the insanity of the other Vees.
He owned your soul, and any of your knowledge of the more recent aspects of technology on Earth that could potentially help him in taking down Vox. In return, he would not specifically target Velvette when the final confrontation with the Vees took place, content with simply obliterating Vox and Valentino- provided that Velvette did not take any actions directly against him.
Velvette knew about your deal and the part you played in ensuring that when the Vees fell she would not be part of the carnage. They had thrown her under the bus not long before you came to the hotel, placing the blame for a series of footage and info leaks on her social media platforms, and she was more than happy to let someone else seek her revenge for her. She kept the benefits of working with the Vees- ‘no harm done,’ she had told them- and had the extra reassurance that when they fell she would remain on top. She knew you seemed happy enough to work with Alastor when he asked it of you, and was pleased that the deal didn’t seem to be a hardship on you.
He didn’t often use that against you like this though, like her safety was a bargaining chip that went hand in hand with his personal happiness or mood. You hadn’t even said anything bad! Just that he hadn’t needed to save you a seat beside him. You were thrilled, honestly, and just mostly nervous about him catching one of your looks or blushes when you watched him too closely.
You gave him a smile regardless. “Right. I appreciate the gesture then,” you say, and don’t see the way that his grin extends as he watches you sit and start reaching for the food laid out on the table.
Dinner is a strange affair. Throughout the night Alastor seems to keep finding excuses to turn his attention to you, only to harshly refute or ignore what you say in response. His leg is twitchy under the table and keeps knocking against yours, to the point that you turn essentially sideways in your seat to stop it from happening and talk to Vaggie and Charlie instead. At the end of the meal you walk yourself to your room slowly, tired beyond belief, confused and a bit hurt by Alastor’s behavior.
To your surprise, the Radio Demon is in your room when you close the door behind you. You startle a bit, not expecting him, and at the sound he looks up from where he sits at your desk, the documents you had for Velvette organized into a neat stack. “Hello, my dear!” He says, and rises from the chair to approach you. You look to the floor, not wanting him to see the hurt you’re sure is reflected there, but he places a sharp tipped finger under your chin and raises your head to look at him. His smile is softer, his eyes lowered a bit as he gazes down at you. 
“I want to apologize for my behavior at dinner,” he says, and you heave a relieved exhale. “Upon reflection I do see that my manners were abysmal, and there was no need to treat you in such a fashion.”
“It’s okay, sir,” you say, but when you start to take a step back more of his fingers come up to grip your face, holding you in place. “Um-”
“Ah ah ah,” he admonishes. “I wasn’t finished. In addition to my apology, I did have a query for you in regards to our deal.”
“Of course,” you tell him, and your heart has started beating a bit harder in your chest now with the way he’s looking at you. It’s impossible to tell when he’s angry with the smile most of the time, but his expression is even more unreadable now than it usually is. “What is it?”
He pauses for a moment. “Is there any form of technology that you are uncomfortable with the thought of showing or demonstrating for me?”
You blink slowly a couple times, the way you’ve seen Lucifer do when he doesn’t understand something that someone has said to him. “Uh. No, sir, I don’t think so.” Part of your ‘job description,’ as Alastor put it, was sometimes showing him non-television style technology and demonstrating its uses for him. You had gone over flip phones, Walkman's, CD players, pagers, and more recently some small tablets and compact computers. Digital cameras were out of the question, as were actual televisions whether they be old or new.
He didn’t like any of them, would have rather not bothered with the whole idea by his own admission. But he felt it necessary to understand what he could about the things that gave Vox so much power over people, and being the most recently dead at the Hotel you had the most up-to-date information. You were also one of the few who didn’t begrudge Alastor his preference for older tech- you had died while AI was a big thing on Earth, and that had freaked you out enough at times that you could appreciate hardwiring that didn’t talk back to you unprompted. Usually he stood a few feet away, far enough back that he could still watch without interrupting any frequencies, and allowed you to walk him through the various uses of the device.
“Lovely!” He says at your response, and then straightens up and crosses the room towards your bed of all places. “Now, I noticed at dinner that you’ve seemed quite out of sorts lately. Are you getting enough rest?”
What?
“Yes, sir, I think so,” you tell him, eying him warily. “I’ve been doing a lot of studying for Velvette to help with her shoots- light composition and all that, but-“
He makes a noise at you, something that sounds like an admonishment. “Come now,” he says, “you mustn’t be neglecting your beauty sleep for a Vee, even if she is the most tolerable of the lot!” He takes a seat on your bed- what? - and gently pats the pillow at the head. “In you go, my dear. I can’t have my little assistant lacking.”
You raise your eyebrows but decide not to argue on the matter. He’s been in a weird mood all night, and you really are quite tired at this point. You approach cautiously, climbing into bed the opposite side of where he sits. “If you say so, Alastor.” You lay back against the pillow, not bothering yet to get under the covers. “I’ll see you in the morning?” You glance towards the door, hoping that he will rise and leave you.
“Hahaha!” He laughs instead, rotating his body so that he can face you more fully. ‘No, I think not my dear! I’ll stay to make sure you get some proper shut-eye.”
Your heart beats faster. No way would you be able to actually sleep with him in the room. “That’s really okay,” you try to tell him, but when you sit up he places a hand gently on your shoulder and guides you back down to the pillow.
“Naughty girl,” he admonishes, and the words send a rush of heat across your face. “I truly insist! You rest up, and I’ll be right here to ensure that you do!”
“Oookay,” you finally agree, and lean back against the pillows stiffly. It's torture for a long few minutes, where you try to regulate your breathing and not focus on the fact that he’s so close to you, in your bed. Eventually though, despite your heartbeat in your throat, you do start to relax a bit.
“Hmmm.” Alastor hums where he sits in the bed next to you, and while his smile is, of course, still present, his eyes have a kind of far off look in them.
“Alastor? Is everything okay?”
“Oh, quite alright!” He says in his typical fashion. “But I must admit I find myself rather curious about something, and I was hoping you could help me gain some enlightenment.”
“Sure; however I can help.”
“Splendid!” He claps his hands together. Your nightstand is enveloped in shadows, and when it re-emerges your rose toy sits front and center on top. You choke on your spit a bit, sputtering as Alastor looks at you. “I heard you mention to Angel Dust that this is a ‘sex toy’ earlier, but you didn’t go into any further detail! What exactly is the function of such a thing?”
You were going to drop double dead right here in your bedroom, with Alastor sitting atop your sheets and looking curiously between you and the toy. “Oh God, uh…” He raises an eyebrow, prompting you to continue, but you can’t seem to find the words. “Shit, um, that’s not really- it’s kinda a private thing,” you sputter out, but he just continues to smile at you as you attempt to sink through the bed, through the floor, into a special kind of Hell reserved for moments as awkward as this one.
“I confess, my dear, a contribution to my terrible manners earlier stemmed from the idea that you might be holding back information.” He plucked the small device off the night stand and turned it this way and that in his hand. “When I thought about how you mentioned to Angel that it was a ‘sex toy,’ though, I realized that we had never established any sort of boundary as far as what kinds of technology you would show me per the confines of our deal!” He placed a hand to his forehead, an exaggerated face palm. ���Which was quite silly of me, of course.”
You were going to stop breathing.
“Naturally I wouldn't want to make you do anything that would make you uncomfortable,” he continued, tucking the hand not holding the intimate technology under his chin to look at you thoughtfully. “And really, I doubt this is any kind of device that could do any true damage in the coming battle between myself and Vox. But one can never be too sure!” 
He holds it out to you, and though you take it with trembling hands you are still trying to explain. “Sir- Alastor - this is very much not the kind of technology that you would be interested in.”
“Oh but I am!” He assures you, and he sits cross legged now beside you. “I am quite interested in learning more about such a strange device. And did you not say that there was no technology that you were uncomfortable with demonstrating?”
“Well, yes, but-”
“And- pardon my eavesdropping, of course- did you not also tell Angel Dust that you received the device from Velvette, a known ally of my personal enemy and a demon bent on destroying me?”
You close your eyes tightly. This was too much. “Yes, I did. But-”
He makes a noise at you, like a parent would to an unruly child. “Well now, how am I to know that the device was not planted on Velvette by the others? Not merely a gift to a friend but something orchestrated by Vox to destroy me and everything I care for?” He reaches out a hand, brushing his fingers against your cheek. “I would so hate to see you harmed, my dear. Will you not show me how it works to ease my worried thoughts?”
Your breath is stuck in your throat as you swallow hard. You… suppose he raised a valid point, as awkward as you felt about it. You knew that despite your deal he felt some apprehension about allowing you to spend so much time with Velvette, even with what you were providing him with in return. If this was what it would take to ease some of the tension in his mind…
“I… okay,” you said finally on an exhale, and looked back down at the toy. Your voice trembled as you held it up for him to see. “Do you… I mean, usually you stand a little ways away, sir.”
His grin stretches up his face, eyes glowing red as he watches you fiddle with the object in your hand. “Oh no, darling, I’m quite content right here.”
“Right.” The blush on your face nearly permanent at this point, you rotate the device so that you can reach the button on the side. “There’s this little, um, button on the side to turn it on.” you press the button and the noise immediately starts, subtle but all too loud in the space between you and Alastor. Your cheeks are burning. “There are a few different uh, strength settings. For the. Suction.” The smile on Alastor’s face is etched in stone, and he leans closer to you as you cycle through the different speed settings. You can’t look at him anymore, dropping your eyes into your lap as you hold up the toy. “Next, uh…”
“What is the suction for, dear?”
When you look up you nearly jump back in shock; he’s moved even closer, his face right in front of yours when you’ve brought it up. “I- what?”
He places his hand over yours on the rose. “The suction. Whatever could it be for?” You try to lean back and he follows you, bent nearly in half as he does. “You could use-”
“No!” You push the toy into his hands, desperate for escape from this situation, but his smile doesn’t waver. “I mean, not no no, but- you don’t want to see that-”
“My dear.” He sets the device to the side, using one of his hands to bring your face up to look at him. He comes even closer, essentially crawling across the bed and hovering over you- what the fuck what the fuck- while you do your best to sink into the pillow. “As entertaining as it is to see you so flustered, I truly was looking for a more practical demonstration. Won’t you show me?”
If your heart flutters any harder it will burst from your chest. But he’s being so insistent that he doesn’t mind the nature of the device and that he wants an actual showing of how it’s used. You take a deep, shaky breath and commit to it- he’s asked, and you’ll indulge Alastor anything he asks of you. You reach to the side of him and take hold of the toy. “I haven’t, uh. Used it before,” you tell him.
 His eyes flash red and the smile stretches as he leans back the slightest bit. “No time like the present then!” He chirps, the static in his voice more pronounced that it had been thus far. When you move your hand to your waistband you hesitate, but his eyes zero in on the movement. “By all means,” he says, “don’t stop on my account.”
Another deep breath and you clench your eyes shut, not able to make eye contact with him as you remove your bottoms. With your eyes closed you don’t see the way that his widen; so focused on your own breathing that you don’t notice his sharp inhale at your movements as you settle back into the mattress. You keep your eyes closed as you bring the toy to your lower body, debate for a moment, and decide to position it before switching it on.
You’re hyperaware of Alastor’s gaze on you even without being able to see it. Your hands tremble as you place the small gap in the top over your clit, spreading your legs slightly for a better angle. A hand on your thigh makes your eyes fly open, and when you make eye contact with Alastor you clench them shut again, unable to do this knowing that he’s touching you-
Without realizing, your hands have tightened their grip on the toy and pressed the button to turn it onto the lowest suction strength. The sudden strong sucking on your most sensitive spot has a harsh moan tumbling from your lips, your head tossing back into the pillow and Alastor’s fingers tightening imperceptibly on your skin, claws digging in ever so slightly. It's so much and so sudden, almost overwhelming, and you’re not sure if you should curse Velvette or send her a gift basket.
“What does it feel like?” The static is gone from Alastor’s voice, and when you find the strength to open your eyes he’s much closer to your… demonstration than you would have expected him to be. Close enough to taste, not that he would, but the thought of it alone has your hips lifting from the bed, desperate for more that you know he won’t give you.
“It’s so- ugh, fuck,” is what you manage, and his eyes are hooded and focused so intently on you. You hope that this is giving him whatever information he was hoping to gather, because there was no way in any of the nine rings of Hell that you would ever be able to look him in the eyes again after this.
“Eloquent, darling,” he says, still no static to the words, and then his spare hand is placed over yours on the rose toy and jumping the suction up by a couple levels.
Another unbidden moan rips itself from your chest, your free hand clenching the sheets on the bed as Alastor holds your other to the toy on your clit. You’re soaked by this point, arousal dripping onto the sheets below you, and you’re so close already without the added stimulation of the harsher suction. “Fuck fuck fuck, God,” you get out between your panting, and his chuckle brings your gaze back to him, not realizing that your eyes had rolled back as you rode the waves of pleasure.
His other hand, the one that had been on your thigh, is now posed by your entrance, his glove discarded somewhere on the bed and his fingers mere centimeters away from where you suddenly, desperately want them to be. “There’s no God here, my dear,” he says darkly, “but perhaps I can be persuaded to worship you instead.” The suction increases again, his pressing of the button subtle, but it's too much, too much-
Your vision goes dark with the strength of your orgasm, the coil in your stomach snapping as you arch up with a drawn out gasp of his name. There’s static in the room, drowning out the sound of your cries as you ride through your release, and you can just barely see Alastor through your half-closed eyes, his own eyes lidded and his pupils blown wide as his smile is stretched as far as the sudden green stitches would allow. 
He holds down on the power button to turn the device off, pulling it- and his hands- away from your body. You allow your eyes to drift shut, breathing heavily as you lay back into the pillows. You can hear the vague sounds of something moving around, your nightstand opening and closing though the space on the bed is still dipped down from his weight. You’re trying to gather the strength to say something, to explain yourself maybe- because how could you let yourself get so far gone that you said his name mid-orgasm, Jesus- when the dip in the mattress disappears.
“Well, that was quite enlightening!” You hear him say, and when you drag your eyes open he’s standing on the other side of the bed, his expression totally normal aside from the permanent smile. “I do so appreciate your compliance, my dear, in helping to ease my mind about such a strange device.”
“I- yeah, sure,” you manage to get out without stuttering too much, and how composed he is now, while you are still half naked and heaving from your release, has your face flaming. “Anytime. Happy to help.”
His eyes lower. “Funny you should say that! I did notice a few more devices in your drawer- were these items gifts from Velvette as well?”
You had forgotten about the variety of other toys you kept near your bed, and your blush renews, your face hot at the thought of what he had seen. “No, sir,” you tell him, and he makes a little humming noise similar to the one he had earlier. 
You think about how his pupils had been so dilated, his fingers poised and ready to join the fray while you used the toy, and add as an afterthought- “Some of them are uh, VoxTech brand though.” You hoped you weren’t wrong, and the positively lecherous look that his smile takes on confirms it for you.
“How interesting!” he exclaims. “I suppose there may be other demonstrations in order then, hm? After all, it never hurts to be thorough!” He holds a hand out to you and you place your own into it, allowing him to bring it to his lips for a soft kiss. “And I do plan on being quite thorough, darling. I hope we can find the time to reconvene soon- in the meantime, sweet dreams.” 
With that he melts into shadows and vanishes, and no sooner than the black puddle on the floor disappeared have you whipped your phone out of the pocket of your discarded bottoms. You text Velvette first, a series of emojis that she has no hope of deciphering- her response of ‘TF r u on about???’ confirming that thought- and then Angel, asking for recommendations before pulling up the VoxTech website and taking a look at the options you don’t currently have in your drawer.
Like Alastor said- it doesn’t hurt to be thorough!
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nunalastor · 4 months
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can you imagine what a mess alastor would be in bed with lucifer
usually alastor doesn't get turned on or gaf about sex which suits him just fine but lucifer gets under his skin in juuust the right ways to get that adrenaline pumping and him interested and suddenly he has to give up all that carefully crafted control to someone who's more than happy to taunt him about it
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grayseas-art · 2 months
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hazbin doodle EXPLOSION!!💥🔥💥💥🔥
from magma with the homies❤️‍🔥 @hapfish @disanthropi-art @linnyart mattmaple @thatonepersonwithaface
feat. charlie, vaggie, & niffty redesigns by @cholvoq and the iconic cursed cat alastor by coma_0423
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t4tails · 2 months
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only slight offense meant to the people who do this but what the hell is going through the minds of people who tag their fandom specific art or analysis with general shit like sexualities? like okay you drew an aroace character - why the fuck are you tagging it aroace 😭 especially if its discourse related like RANDOM AROACE PPL DO NOT WANT TO SEE THAT? STOP 😭😭😭
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shootinwebs · 1 month
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alastor: i love you, angel, but sometimes i can't fathom how you're "employed" by a man who has sex with a TV.
angel: i know, and he's not even a tube TV anymore. you wouldn't even get tickled in the face by the static if you kissed him.
alastor: ...why am i surprised that you've thought about this.
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xalygatorx · 2 months
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I’m very normal about his ears I swear
little art thing from chapter 17 of my hazbin fic Death in Pink :’)
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After a careful analyzation.
I now understand why Alastor was like so very excited to fight Adam
You know, being the "first man" and all 💀
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lokisflame · 3 months
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Genuinely, how are the Alastor takes from the finale SO. BAD.???
media literacy is truly dead y'all
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greatalastoraltruist · 3 months
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Me: "not everything is for you"
Person: "OH YEAH WELL SOME THINGS ARE FOR ME AND YOU SAYING THAT I CANT HAVE EVERYTHING IS INFANTILIZING YOURSELF AND OTHERS LIKE YOU WAH WAH WAH"
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staticheck · 3 months
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❝ What you are doing is inhumane, no matter how you rationalise it! ❞ / big talk from a Robo Fizz, Kitty. You're so silly.
𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐀 𝐖𝐀𝐑 [𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐌𝐄?] ; 𝑑𝑖𝑎𝑙𝑜𝑔𝑢𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠
+ 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍? 𝐀𝐇, 𝐀 𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐊 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐋. * ❛ 𝙸𝙽𝙷𝚄𝙼𝙰𝙽𝙴? My goodness, 𝑶𝑯 𝑫𝑬𝑨𝑹! How dreary indeed! ❜ dramatics take the form of the Radio Demon placing the back of their palm against their forehead, negligent to selling the sudden " comprehension " of their actions. Why this 'bot even got a giggle out of them!
Claws extend to crawl along a metallic face, pausing beneath a pointed chin. The microphone is resting against their back, held by the other hand. Alastor lifts the little robot's chin-up, giving them a pinch as they inspect the doll's features for any obvious signs of where their rival can peek through with their [ 𝑨𝑳𝑳-𝑺𝑬𝑬𝑰𝑵𝑮 ] eye.
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They find about a dozen, but the gift of a little static shock sent to this model and their owner is enough to solve the problem. ❛ Oops! Terribly sorry d̷a̴r̸l̵i̴n̵g̴, but how about that? Is that enough rationalizing for you? ❜
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cxdemistake · 7 months
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James stared at the building before him, taking it in. She really built it. The Hazbin Hotel. He's only going inside to sate his curiosity about the place. The idea behind it is ridiculous, and for personal reasons, it makes him angry. Redemption. How stupid. He gives it a week before everything falls apart. A month, tops.
@do-these-eyes-look-human
It’s after Alastor has worked his magic inside that James decides to come in. Of course, he had to revert a few things to normal, like everyone’s outfits and the party atmosphere, but it’s presentable.
He’s antagonizing Husker— allowing Angel Dust to help, surprisingly— when he hears the door open, and his head snaps around, his eyes and teeth glowing as he stares down the visitor.
Leaving Angel to his own devices, he’s in front of James in a flash, holding out a hand for him to shake… and not waiting for James to take his hand, shaking it vigorously.
“Well hello, my good fellow, how do you do! Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel! My name is Alastor, I am the patron of this hotel! Tell me, are you here to seek your redemption?”
Clearly, his grin is more than just being friendly— those last words seem amusing to him.
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nunalastor · 2 months
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If I can go full tinfoil hat mode for a second, I've been seeing a few posts around lately pointing out how similar Lucifer and Alastor are design-wise (Lucifer's claws changing in his true demon form is too tiny a detail to feel not-important), plus the fact that they have opposite powers. My theory is that like how Lucifer's form was corrupted, presumably by "evil" in his fall, Alastor went through a similar process because his master isn't Lilith, but Roo(t of all Evil). After all, his powers look and feel pretty different from basically every other demon's in the show, and he seems to have somehow actually killed his overlord victims without them respawning.
Hell, if the speculation that she's trying to take over all of creation is true, maybe she's grooming Al to take Lucifer's place, like a puppet regent (King Roach???) she can easily control. That would be so messed up.
Though that means...maybe Al will be outed when they discover that like Lucifer, he goes thump squeak thump squeak
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countlessrealities · 1 month
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Al, since you just so casually admitted to wanting to sleep with Vox, I think the next logical step is to go in for a kiss. That's way less painful than copulating with him
Unprompted asks || Always accepting !
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The first response to the words is an awfully high-pitch burst of static, loud and piercing enough to cause more than one pair of ears to bleed. The sound slowly dies down, but a dull buzzing is left in the background, ready to spike up again.
A warning and a threat.
Alastor doesn't answer right away. Instead, he twirls his microphone in his hand until a bunch of tentacles drag in a screeching Vaggie.
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"Alastor! What the fuck?! Let me go!" The former Exorcist yells, hitting the shadows with the pole of her spear. She could slash through them with the blade, but she doesn't want to cause real harm...yet.
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"My dear, thank you for joining us! I'm sure that you'll be a delightful guest star," Alastor starts, his gaze holding none of the fake friendliness that his tone carries. "So, you said that the little game we played earlier was just that. A game. Yet, now people are asking about it. Care to set them straight? Since you caused this...utterly unnecessary fuss I'm stuck dealing with."
Vaggie pinches the bridge of her nose. Of course he's involving her. This is petty revenge and it's obvious. Now she's regretting having forced him to answer that ask. On the other hand, though, she can sympathise with his annoyance. People should really know when not to cross a line.
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"Al, they know it was a game. They know you didn't mean it," she sighs in exasperation. Still, deep down, she can't help wondering which idiots kept provoking the Radio Demon of all people. Definitely someone with a second-death wish. "But we are in Hell. People are bound to be assholes. You give them an opening, they are going to take it. You know that better than anyone. Exploiting others' weaknesses, mistakes and whatnot it's like your thing. So tell them to go fuck themselves and be done with it."
Alastor seems to ponder her words for a moment and eventually offers her a nod. Brushing it off is the best course of action.
"Oh, you're the voice of reason in the middle of this senseless mayhem, Vaggie! I knew that I could count on you!" There's definitely a hint of sarcasm in his tone. "Well, my dear listener, I believe that you have your answer. Never going to happen."
His voice is as cutting as his teeth, the shadows receding as he fully slips back into his creepily charming persona.
"I'm as likely to kiss that boastful flat abomination of modern technology as our Vaggie is to kiss...oh, I don't know...Adam, mayhaps?"
An awkward silence follows as Vaggie cringes a little. She gets why he has picked her former comrade, but that was quite the unlucky choice.
"Uh, funny story," she starts after clearing her throat. "You see, I've technically kissed Adam a while ago. On the cheek, but yeah, it still counts I guess."
She doesn't think she has ever seen the grin on Alastor's face look so horrified.
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".......Fuck."
"Yup, you kind of walked straight into it, but hey, you couldn't have known, so why don't we...HEY!"
The former Exorcist gets cut off mid-sentence as the Radio Demon snatches the spear out of her hand. She tries to grab it back, but Alastor is already melting away in the shadows, heading who knows where. It's only then that she realises that she's holding his microphone in the place of her weapon.
What in the Heavens is she supposed to do with that?!
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"...Okay, I guess I'm the...temporary replacement radio host?" She can't believe that fucker. "What were we doing? Q&A? Alright, I can do that. Hit me?"
{ @holoharbinger / @creationtainted - mentioned }
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voxsremotec0ck · 2 months
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Some of your clothes go missing, where are they?
With Vox: In his bed. He sleeps with them, if they fit then he sleeps in them. Probably starts a second shrine of his to put them in, the first shrine is for Alastor. Will dress his body pillow up in them. Will definitely walk around wearing any 'missing' vests, socks or underwear under his normal outfits if they fit, you won't be able to tell but he blushes extra hard if he talks to you while doing so. You'll probably not going to get them back.
With Valentino: In his bed. He 'uses' them, has atleast once tried to make Angel wear them. Will try and bribe Angel to get more once they no longer smell like you or are ruined, Angel will burn any clothes for you if Val tries to get him to return them to you. You're not going to want them back.
With Velvette: In her studio. She'll give them back right after she subtly alters them to be skimpyer, they'll go 'missing' again later and reappear with another alteration until they tastefully hardly cover anything. Will make herself matching clothes of yours and try and return clothes that are obviously hers but wants to see you wearing, if you take a selfie in those clothes then Vel has a new phone background.
With Alastor: In your room. He cleaned them and folded them himself and left them on your bed, probably let himself in while you were asleep. They'll smell like old fashioned clean linen but if you have a good nose then you might smell some of his cologne on it. Might even find his 'missing' bowtie in the pile so now you have to go and return his stuff instead.
With Lucifer: On him. He'll use them as pajamas, he will even change his size just so they fit. He'll 'find' them if you mention looking for them. There's a good chance of you bumping into to him while he's wearing them in the morning as he goes to get breakfast, he forgot he was wearing them and not his own pajamas, he'll blush super hard and prays to his father that you won't say anything. If you do then there's a good chance he'll start stripping out of them right then and there to hand them back, you and Charlie has to remind him that he can use magic or he'll end up standing in his boxers and carrying a pile of your clothes in front of everyone.
With Blitzø: In his pocket. He sleeps with them anywhere he goes. will literally throw them at you if you bring up them being missing with an excuse that he found them. If they lose their scent and you don't mention any missing clothes then more clothes will go 'missing' and he'll literally make himself a nest of your 'missing' clothes.
With Fizzarolli & Asmodeus: On Fizz. Fizz has no shame and will just walk right up to you wearing your missing clothes. Fizz and Ozzie will encourage you to steal their clothes when ever you want too, except Fizzs hats because he has to choose them for you. Fizz steals ALL your clothes because he need alot of them in order to make a nest big enough to fit you, him and Ozzie. There's a chance Ozzie will be wearing clothes that look identical to the ones Fizz is currently wearing, there a chance that the only difference is that Ozzies clothes will be cut so his nipples are showing.
I- anon you’re just out here doing my job for me huh?? And doing it BETTER JFC
All of these are perfect omg LIKE VALS IS SO SPOT ON I CANT
Thank you for the meal😭🙏
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