#(... in a bit of a grief spiral about it atm - about losing my brother...)

[soysaucevictim]

I guess I feel like sharing those other pictures I took when I finished that set of bags I made for my set of Crofters jars.

(Warning for some grief talk in the read more segment to that post.)

#sanders sides #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #artisan crafts #(it still sucks knowing i finished them on one of the worst days of my life... i knew i wouldn't be able to sleep after what happened) #(i was working on these for awhile beforehand... so i just finished them to keep my head screwed on) #(... in a bit of a grief spiral about it atm - about losing my brother...) #(... yeah.) #(in case it wasn't obv why i'm just so hyperfocused on creativitwins shit lately it's been to cope w/ that. even if it has been 2 yrs since

[orionsangel86]

12x20 - Holy Narrative Mirrors Batman!

In the middle of taking ages to write another hand meta (yes I’m back to that guys) this episode aired and therefore I am here to bring you my review of 12x20 and all the emotions that brought to the table.

Firstly, important things to address: I am PISSED that two POC women were killed this episode. I don’t really care that Alesha was brought back as a Twig puppet monster (my nickname for those creatures) because it was still two violent POC deaths shown on screen. Must we really keep seeing this on this show? After Billy? I know that SPN needs to keep its death count high and I would NOT want them to kill off Max when he is our only canon recurring queer character on the show atm either (not including Dean still hidden away in Narnia) but I’m still pissed off about it. I also didn’t like the fact that they showed the old witch’s immediate dislike of Tasha being a racist thing either. Yes I know she’s an evil witch but really spn? Racism and then have that same racist old hag KILL the poc lady? Nice going.

Anyway, that is my rant on that. So ya’ll know it pissed me off. This is a just fandom blog and I wanna keep it positive bearing in mind I actually loved this episode but it needed to be addressed.

I did love this episode, even if I am getting a meta headache over all the narrative mirrors they showed us and went to extensive lengths to portray. I feel I need to outline them all clearly so without further rambling here they are:

Max is Dean and Alesha is Sam

This one is pretty obvious. They went to great lengths to show this including adding a blast from the far past in the ‘THEN’ section by showing us the Pilot episodes baby dean (how high and young his voice was!) saying the classic phrase “Dad’s on a hunting trip and hasn’t been home in a few days”. To say that the Banes’ story then mirrors the first two seasons of the show would be highly accurate.

Max is shown to be the loud, flirtatious, overly confident sibling with his boisterous attitude and charisma. Unlike Dean however he is ‘out and proud’… Oh Dean… please find your way out of Narnia this season.

Alesha is the sibling who rolls her eyes over her brothers antics, and feels more like an outsider in the family, based on this conversation with Sam:

“He always thinks he knows mum better, because they’re both natural witches, it’s who they are”

“When I was growing up Dean and my dad had the same thing with hunting, that bond”.

This pretty much drums the mirror home, but later we are shown just how similar Dean and Max are by how Max takes the deal and brings his sister back (though perhaps not quite in the same way) and sells his soul for her, because like Dean, he is unable to go on without his sibling.

This is the main narrative mirror in place, with the siblings shown to be kinda co-dependent and willing to sacrifice for each other. It also really helps our bi!dean reading that he is yet again being mirrored with a queer man. Yay for Steve Yokey really pushing that parallel.

more under the cut...

Max is Sam and Alesha is Dean

However there is a less obvious mirror between the siblings the other way around, it isn’t as strong as above but it is still there in the way that Alesha was the one to first be worrying about their mother, she was the one who wanted to drag the Winchesters in it, and she was the one trying to find out what was going on whereas Max was more concerned about his date (aka Sam being more concerned about getting back to his exams and Jess). All this subtle narrative mirror shows is that it goes both way between the brothers, the mirrors are not so clear cut because like this season in general, things can always go either way, including down an unexpected path.

Sam has also sacrificed himself for Dean, and for the world. He is also willing to do terrible things to save his brother’s life. He is also like Max and totally capable of making terrible decisions (as season 10 showed us all too well).

Tasha as John Winchester

This one is obvious when you consider the original plot of SPN “Dad’s on a hunting trip…” “their mom is on a hunting trip and hasn’t been home in a week”. Tasha here though, is the John that the Winchesters never had. The Banes are how the Winchesters could have been had John not spiralled down in grief and drink and abuse. As Dean says “Watching them, this loving family, the kind we should have had” (it also brings up a point that if John had been there and been caring and considerate of his sons perhaps Dean would have ended up more like Max – as in completely unashamed of his sexuality and out and proud about it including in front of his parent : “We’re gonna have some… guy time” indeed.)

Tasha as Mary Winchester

Kinda obvious in that she is their mom, but also that she went off hunting alone and got herself turned into a twig monster. Now the twig monster symbolism works well for both Mary and Cas and I’ll get to him in a bit but first I need to talk about how this could be bad foreshadowing for Mary. We already know she ends this episode in a very sticky situation, just like Tasha was. Tasha was offered a deal and refused to take it, now that Mary is trapped and potentially gonna be tortured by the BMOL, what kind of deal are they likely to offer her? What will happen to her if she doesn’t take it? Will she also possibly loose her heart?

Tasha as Castiel

This one is probably less obvious, but I wanted to mention it because of the imagery at the start of the episode.

Brown Jacket, Blue shirt. Could be a coincidence but then with everything else I don’t think it is…. Also…

Look what rug turned up again…

Plus the difference in glowing eyes this episode just seems to me to be a big call back to last episode where there was so much emphasis on the eyes. Tasha’s natural magic makes her eyes glow purple (very similar to Cas’s blue)

Whereas the twig monsters eyes glow white when under control of the witch:

There isn’t much of a difference from blue to purple and yellow to white…

And her glowing pendant just reminds me of Cas’s grace in the vial that Metatron kept hidden

So why is Tasha a Cas mirror? Because she is trying to go it alone without her family to stop of the witch? Gets caught up in a power she can’t defeat and gets used by that power. That the witch saw something in her enough to try to deal with her, but Tasha fought, she said no, and it cost her her life. Both Mary and Cas took the metaphorical deal. Both lost their way, lost their souls AND their hearts when you consider what Cas is potentially losing in the Winchesters if he continues down this current path, and what Mary has lost by choosing the BMOL over her sons.

The Twig Puppet Monsters as mirrors for Cas

I mentioned this briefly in this post, but I need to go into further detail. We have all been speculating since 12x19 as to what is wrong with Cas, and I think this episode answered it quite clearly in the mirror given to us here. The witch steals the heart of her victims, puts it into her puppets of twine and twig and recreates them perfectly, but under her control when she needs them. She takes out their emotional core. I think that this is a good explanation for what the Nephilim child did to Cas. It manipulated him using his heart – his desire to find a path, faith, a mission… it all comes down to his desire for love and to accept love into his life (all thing we have meta’d about before). The Nephilim used this against him, it used his heart to gain control.

I wasn’t 100 per cent sure on this mirror, or what Yokey was trying to tell us until that last scene, when Max brought back Alesha in twig puppet monster form. Puppet Alesha seemed to show care and concern for her brother, she seemingly knew nothing about what had happened to her. Same with puppet Tasha, she showed care to her kids and had that heartfelt talk with Dean. Why would a monster put in such effort to give advice and care? Even if trying to keep under the radar. I genuinely felt like the Tasha puppet didn’t realise what she was until Max forced her via magic to reveal herself.

As I mentioned in the linked post, what really brought this point home for me was the “are you hurt?” worry that Puppet Alesha showed? It was a direct parallel of Cas’s “your hurt” to Dean at the end of last episode. The moment at the end of 12x19 that really brought confusion to the whole ‘is Cas brainwashed again?’ theory. Cas was so delicate in the way he reached out and touched Dean to heal him. A moment caught so intimately on camera like so many shots from last episode. It showed the audience that however Cas was being controlled it wasn’t in the same way as Naomi, or Rowena with the attack dog spell, or Cas after the angels resetting him in season 4. Bobo was right when he said that this was different, that it wasn’t brainwashing as such.

Like the twig puppet monsters, Cas doesn’t realise he is under control, or that his decisions are not his own, because his heart is what is being used against him, showing him things “the Future” that make him think he is on a righteous path.

All this makes me think is that if it is Cas’s heart that used against him by the Nephilim then I am suddenly very excited as to how we will break him free of this spell.

This of course brings us to…

Destiel

How can I NOT talk about destiel in this episode! Oh Dean. We talk a lot about who carries the torch for destiel in each season, and how usually, unless Dean is carrying that torch destiel feels like it gets shoved into the background (throughout seasons 9 and 10 we didn’t get destiel from Dean very much at all). Now the torch is firmly in Dean’s hands and I feel for him so strongly.

After such a glorious Destiel heavy episode in 12x19, we would usually expect a few no homo moments in the following episode, or at least the odd trend in earlier seasons of Dean seemingly completely forgetting Cas once he disappeared again, however what we got instead was wonderful.

Our first shot of Dean after the cold open was of his hands, clutched in worry and very telling of his emotional state (I will continue to go on about shots of hands this season and how they express emotion)

Dean is talking about his concern over Cas to what appears to be a long suffering Sam (forever long suffering Sam).

“It sock puppetted him” he says in an interesting choice of words that only further drums home the Cas as a Twig Puppet Monster mirror.

What I love most about this scene is not Dean’s worry, but Sam’s calm and logical thinking. It is YET ANOTHER moment where the relationship between Dean and Cas and Sam and Cas is shown to be so very different. We have been seeing this difference continuously in the show since 11x14 and I can’t believe that we haven’t had a moment yet of Dean turning to Sam and saying “Why the hell aren’t you freaking out like I am?” only for Sam to give him classic bitchface no.25 before walking away and muttering under his breath what a lovestruck idiot Dean is.

He clearly brings up the colt to change the subject. Since it’s not mentioned again all episode.

When Alesha calls Sam jumps at the chance to go on a hunt, but Dean protests, and this is AGAIN something we don’t tend to see, and if we do, it’s because something is wrong with Cas, Dean doesn’t wanna do a regular hunt and instead focus on Cas, but Sam logic talks him into going (usually because Sam is fed up of Dean moping about his husband being missing and wants a distraction). “What about Cas?” Dean asks and I punch the air because I have been asking that SAME question now for YEARS and THANK YOU SHOW for making it something that is really being drummed home again…

*sips Cas hater tears*

We get this brilliant long logic talk from Sam about how they have already done everything they can to look for Cas and there is really nothing else to do at this stage and how the Banes’s need their help all while Dean is just giving him this bitchface until Sam just gives up, realises none of that is working, so he plays the family card “Their mom’s on a hunting trip, and hasn’t been home in a week.” And that’s what makes Dean give in. He always was one for tradition…

The fact that they gave us all this glorious Dean worry and protesting the hunt and everything I honestly thought would be enough but nope! They give us MORE.

Dean’s call to Mary just broke my heart. Jensen’s acting is SO emotional god I love him. It’s EVERYTHING about the way they wanted to put across Dean’s feelings in this moment. Lets just take a minute to really analyse this scene:

Dean paces in his worry.

Dean calls his MOM because he wants to talk to her.

It goes to voicemail and Dean’s face is visibly upset

“Some stuff going down, kinda got me spun out” In case we weren’t aware that this was about CAS already.

THE MUSIC SWELLS AND IS ROMANTIC AND SAD.

Jensen’s face is beautiful. I mean that we already know but just LOOK at him in this moment. He is so upset, so worried about Cas, so broken over what he must view as rejection. Urgh I can’t with these two.

Everything about this moment SCREAMS a heartbroken lover missing their partner/spouse and wanting to speak to their parent for consolation (where he wasn’t getting it from long suffering Sam). It is glorious.

*queue flashback to Dean telling Jody how Sam and him could have used some of that growing up after Jody mentions being there for the girls to talk about boyfriends etc*

Basically the amount of pining Dean we are getting this season is amazing and I love it.

Mary and Ketch

Moving on to the B Plot story of the episode, I liked the creep factor with Ketch and Mary, the way they bookended this part of the episode with Shifter!Mary and then Real Mary strapped to the chair, the fight when she punched him in the nuts with the knuckledusters (really Ketch you thought they WOULDN’T work on you just because they are meant for Angels?! Knuckledusters are STILL Knuckledusters dude) – Isn’t that a nice little point though about the BMOL’s narrow mindedness, they are completely unable to see beyond the black and white. Angel knuckledusters must ONLY be used for Angels, each item of equipment can only be used for its one single purpose and nothing else. This obvious differentiates Mary and the Winchesters because they are able to get creative with their weapons – just think back to 12x09 and Sam and Dean using that cabin in the woods to trick the army guys – they are able to adapt to their environment and it makes them far superior to the BMOL – I reckon this will come up again in the next two episodes as to how the Winchesters manage to beat the BMOL (because obviously they will beat them).

I don’t like how the other hunters the BMOL were focussed on were Claire, Garth and Eileen. It makes me nervous since next episode is bucklemming… someone is gonna die. The ‘old men’ in Britain were brought up again and I really do wonder if we will get to see them at all (I can’t help but imagine them as almost inhuman themselves – like the old doctor who harvested human part to gain unnatural longlife… either that or like something out of Mad Max Fury Road – the BMOL has GOT to have some super dark secret and I am really curious to find out what these ‘old men’ really are… though maybe just a bunch of old totally human Tory former public school boys in a secret society sipping Brandy and smoking cigars is actually far more horrifying than actual monsters because humans can be just as evil and nothing in Britain is as evil as old man Tory’s.)

At least Mary seems to finally realise that she needs to be there for Sam and Dean and be more of a mom to them. Perhaps we will see more of this in season 13 though the very fact that she has come to this realisation and left a hopeful voicemail to Dean says to me that something very bad is going to happen to her leaving it all too late. We shall just have to wait and see.

The Past and the Future

I know I have briefly mentioned this above, but I LOVE how this whole episode was basically a rewrite of the first two seasons. That obvious call back to the famous line, emphasised by the reminder in the “THEN” section. The Banes mom going missing, the kids looking for her only for her to die shortly before one sibling dies leaving the other to sell his soul to bring them back. The fact that in this very obvious rewrite Dean’s mirror is a queer man. The fact that this is a fantastic commentary on the Winchester co-dependency but with the Winchesters looking in from the outside and voicing their disapproval (though loved Dean’s honesty about that hypocrisy) making the audience AWARE of how bad it was, of how this is NOT something to be romanticised!

(Sometimes I feel like Dabb is waging war on the bibros and it makes me so happy I could kiss him)

The fact that we keep getting this nod to a ‘better way’ in the subtext, and okay, so Max didn’t take the better way (he actually got a worse deal than Dean did when he sold his soul for Sam) but the fact that this was portrayed as a TERRIBLE thing in this episode is proof that Dabb is moving away from this. However the season ends, I can’t see it ending with the toxic co-dependency still being in place, and it seems like we have finally broken this cycle of Winchester sacrifice for each other that seems to reach its climatic peak in the season 10 finale. Dabb is going out of his way to show how far the boys have come. The call backs to the earlier seasons only emphasise the difference, particularly in Dean, in this season. Dean is on a path of honesty and trust and communication, perhaps some of the other characters are still playing catch up to him, but as our POV character, this speaks volumes for the road the show is going down. I for one couldn’t be happier.

Finally

STOP GRENADE BAITING US!!

Seriously though, this chekovs grenade launcher is gonna go off by season end, and it will be Dean who fires it. Lets all cross our fingers that the resolution to this continuous grenade baiting will also come at the same time as a resolution to another kind of baiting that has been subtextually tied to the grenade launcher for a while now. We can but hope after all.

#supernatural #destiel #dean winchester #sam winchester #episode review #spn meta #12x20 #season 12 #spn spoilers #mary winchester #arthur ketch #twigs & twine & tasha banes #max banes #alesha banes #tasha banes #mirrors and parallels #my thoughts #my meta #spn speculation