#1 down 5 up

[inked-up-gentleman]

Ride fast / Don't die

#midnight thoughts #me #mine #selfie #gif #biker life #yamaha #sports bike #motorcycle #1 down 5 up

[gipsyavnger]

My helmet saved my life today lol

#about me #my stuff #shut up jess no one cares #motorcycle life #motorcycle #biking #1 down 5 up

[pherredraws]

from the homumiko mines

#dgs #tgaa #dgs spoilers #tgaa spoilers #homumiko #idk why mikotoba is taller in the kiss. hes on his tiptoes #the first one is inspired by the moment when sholmes puts his hands on ryu's neck so he can feel how cold they are from blood loss lol #anyway i continue to be deeply fascinated with early years homumiko #i feel like my view of their relationship is more slowburn than most #like. they were both not at their best when they met and i can very much see a scenario where they start living together w/out necessarily #liking each other #the last one in based on a line in 1-5 where gregson (?) says that after an hour of blood loss even sholmes piped down or something #which makes me think he would not shut up beforehand. and i think he'd say some stuff He Really Shouldn't Have #but susato wrote it off as delirium + she was too worried abt her dad and messing with the crime scene #que like 5 months later her going .........ohhhhhh #thats not how you write que i think. anyway

[skitskatdacat63]

Fernando Alonso & His Relationship With Cards

I'm sure we're all familar with the cards on the back of Fernando's Vegas GP helmet by now, but did you know his relationship with cards goes a lot deeper?

I. Magic Tricks

You've probably seen or heard someone at least mention Fernando's propensity for card tricks. As far as I can tell he was doing them(publically) as far back as 2003 all the way to as recently as 2018. Even once performing a card trick, with a condom and a teddy bear(!??!?!??!!), in front of Valentino Rossi who said "How was that possible?"(x)

But how did this start? According to James Allen, "Fernando admits to having been heavily influenced by his grandfather, a mercurial figure, who taught him magic and card tricks, still one of his passions away from the race track."(x) And I'm not sure the validity of this one, because I couldn't find an actual source, but apparently he once said: "My parents are responsible for the two things I like doing most - driving and magic tricks. They bought me my first go-kart and a magician's kit."

In several interviews he described it as his hobby off track, and that he loved learning new tricks and surprising others in the garage with them! So clearly cards are pretty important to him both as a hobby but also to who he is as a person since they've been with him just as long as racing has.

II. Card Symbolism in His Helmets

This is the reason I originally made this post, but I thought I should also explain the origins of his card fascination first. As I said, we probably all remember the cards on the back of his helmet in Vegas, but did you know that wasn't the first time he had cards on the back of his helmet?

From 2008-2013, he used to have a pair of cards on the back of his helmets. The symbolisms of the cards themselves as well as the evolution of their design is really fascinating to me! Even more so with the recent development of the card choice in 2023.

Fernando said he wanted to reference his two titles in some way on the back of his helmet and after his friend sent him several ideas, he decided on having two cards(an ace of clubs and an ace of hearts, sometimes pictured with 05 and 06 on them as well), saying: "I picked the cloverleaf [the ace of clubs - Ed] to give me luck, but the only pity is that it doesn't have four leaves!"(X)

2008.

Here's the very first appearance of the cards! They're displayed flat, with the 05 and 06 clearly visible

2009.

Very similar to 2008, but with a slightly different design, and they're maybe a bit more straight with less shadow?

2010.

This is the first major change! I was sad they didn't have the years on them anymore, but then I realized they're sparkly to match with his signature lightning bolts on the top of the helmet!!

2011.

Honestly I'm still somewhat unsure if this is the actual 2011 helmet? It's pretty difficult to find clear photos of the back of helmets from older seasons. It's easiest to find them on replica sites or auction sites so I'm not 100%? But anyways, I like that this has the championship years on the underside of the cards

2012.

This is when I started getting weirdly emotional about the helmets. Do you see how they've progressed from being a centerpoint to being curled up and sad at the bottom of the helmet? Not listing the year anymore??

2013.

Same thoughts as 2012. And after this season, they cease to exist (just like his ferrari chair in the garage, WOAH CALLBACK), until cards make a reeappearance in his Vegas helmet, albeit in a different form

2013 Monaco(Honorable Mention):

For some reason 2013 helmets were easier to find proper pictures of, so I happened to witness this absolute beauty. The creativity of this helmet genuinely blows me away??? Wanting to keep the card motif, but making sure to incorporate it into the rest of the puzzle piece design?? Mwah! There was another special 2013 helmet but they didn't change the cards at all so I really applaud this one

2023 Las Vegas(The Return of The King):

The magnificent return! But look! The cards are different cards! Instead of being two aces, it's now an ace of hearts, a four of hearts(his driver number of course!) and, the, now iconic, representation of himself as a Joker. I literally could not believe my eyes when this helmet was released and I saw the Joker card, what a fucking silly old man....I really wonder if he felt nostalgic having cards on his helmet again or if he didn't think about it all and was just like, "ah cards because Vegas!!!"

III. Why Does This Matter?

*The rest of the post was factual, this is moreso my personal thoughts on the symbolism of the cards/designs

This post spawned from me recently watching the 2010 Bahrain gp and noticing "hey wait a minute...are those CARDS ON THE BACK OF HIS HELMET!?" It's a really tiny detail that's unfortunately covered up by the HANS device pretty much whenever he's wearing the helmet, so it's really difficult to spot! But I became fascinated with the fact that he had cards on his helmet before that recent helmet, and now here we are!

There's something to me about how the design of the cards evolves over the course of six seasons from the cards being front and center to being smaller, more folded up and closer to the bottom of the helmet. As I said, the 2012-2013 ones genuinely made me depressed because it feels, symbolically, like his hopes for getting another Ace are becoming more and more unlikely and falling away until they eventually fall falt and fade away entirely after 2013 and disappear for basically a decade.

But when they return? They're not the same cards! Instead of representing Fernando's championships, they now represent him as a person, displaying his driver number and his persona of being a Joker!! Though I do think it's interesting he happened to keep the Ace of Hearts, even though he talked more about the Ace of Clubs before. I'm not sure it's actually this deep in reality, but I like to think that it's him not letting his championships(and the lack thereof) define him, but rather letting who he is as a person shine and be the centerpoint instead! But on a sadder note, as @suzuki-ecstar said to me, maybe the Aces aren't there anymore because he's lost all hope for a chance at a third Ace entirely :(

#yes its finals week and im up to my eyes in coursework but instead decided to spend like 5 hours researching and writing this post #nah bcs i actually genuinely put more work into this then I think I have all semester dsfjdskjg #that thing about him using a condom and teddy bear in a magic trick genuinely had me crying with laugher. actual tears rolling down my face #<- HOW!?!? WHAT WAS THE TRICK?? its literally inconceivable to me what he did. oh if only there were pics UGH #anyways!! this post was a lot of fun to make!! i really really love the symbolism and design of helmets so this was a rly fun project #and i also went down a lot of rabbitholes while make this and saw many very weird articles from yore #i feel like i make an equal amnt of deranged posts abt seb and nando but i dont know why nando is gifted w all my well researched projects #<- i.e. chair post. that was the same level of research as this one but at least this one i could find actual sources about.... #idk theres smth about the extremely long history of nando's history that evokes research posts like this KLAJSLSKDJ #theres just so much that i dont think I ever really see people discussing! so i must create. #haha what was that joke tag i wanted to make abt my researched posts? I think: #normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion #<- one day ill go back and actually tag posts w that. bcs the amtn of research compared to my actual schoolwork is so unwell #fernando alonso #fa14 #f1 #formula 1 #catie.rambling.txt #we do a little bit of f1

[corpsentry]

eulogy

#i was fully going to just wrangle my way through life for another 39 years when my friend said to me: #you are gay and we want you to submit art for the pride art show. but i hasn’t drawn at all since last year so i made a new comic from scr #i was also having one of the worst times of my life all of the past week but every night after sobbing into a friends shoulder or wtv #i’d sit down and draw. and then today i locked myself in the basement for 5 #hours and now he is finished. trans allegory or whatever #happy pride #world is horrible so hold the people you love close #i am trying . succeeding? not really but definitely trying #i have gone now through the 5 stages of grief. 1) eat food 2) eat food 3) hit rock 4) hit rock 5) give up #i Give Up. i give up by living my life without giving a fuck #which is like. actually giving down. or taking away down #idk anyway #i hope you’re well i’m HANGING ON BY A THREAD. BUT A GOOD THREAD #and to my lgbsbfk homies: i love you #my art

[aq2003]

really love how throughout a lot of smith and jones martha is really skeptical and apprehensive towards ten (+ one of my favorite exchanges between them - "what, people call you 'the doctor'?" "yeah?" "well, i'm not. far as i'm concerned, you've got to earn that title."), not taking everything he says at face value, even doubting the fact he's an alien until over halfway through the episode.. And like. i really truly think the thing that wins her over isn't him kissing her or any of the other insane mixed messages he manages to send, it's this scene here, where he /earns that title/ in her eyes:

(+ david's bit in the commentary, where he says: "[the doctor] has actually sacrificed himself, and - i would say, that that final act of selflessness is what finally, eventually, welds martha to him. [...] and she now returns it. she returns that act of selflessness.")

this is what their relationship is built on. it isn't about martha being the second-best replacement to rose or a rebound or whatever. bc it isn't really about rose. it's about doctor-in-training martha meeting someone (quite literally, "the doctor") whose ideals she aspires to, and doing her best to be the same person to him as he is to everyone else. it's about ten in return admiring her intelligence and inquisitiveness and how she cares for human life, recovering his compassion, letting himself lean on her for support - and then remembering at the most inopportune moments that he's supposed to not need anyone and be on his own forever. And around in their little nightmare loop they go where they save each other over and over until one of them breaks

i've seen ppl look at martha and go "why she does she admire/why is she so in love with ten if he acts like that to her?" or something along those lines and like. it's not just the fact she's in love with him (in fact i'd argue she actively tries to push it aside post-gridlock). it's the fact that she knows he's the kind of person to put everyone else's lives/well-being over his own. she trusts him to save her when she's in trouble even though it's been like two days at most that they've known one another bc she recognizes that same "deep all-encompassing drive to help others" in him. and she also recognizes, much much earlier than him, that he needs someone to save him, especially when he's unwilling to save himself. and yeah for a bit she thinks he returns her feelings and is just playing hard-to-get, but she realizes pretty early on that this probably isn't the case, and i think that realization fully solidifies here:

(this is when she's listening to ten talk abt gallifrey). And idk it might just be me but i think this expression isn't just her empathizing with his loss. it's also guilt, for wanting something from him that he's clearly unable to give when he's wracked with so much grief. (and you see it in the next episode, where tallulah asks if they're together and martha says for certain that they're not, and that he doesn't know about her feelings for him. she keeps everything to herself bc she now knows that when he shut her flirting down at the end of 3x01 it was the genuine reaction of someone who a) isn't interested and b) is scared of getting close with someone else again)

freema described their dynamic as "she's keener than him" and i think about this all the time. martha doesn't really take what ten throws at her. what she does instead is constantly poke holes in his already-failing front of "i will show someone the wonders of the universe so i can ignore what is wrong with me". what she does is stand up and fight him when he tries to go off on his own. what she does is put aside her well-being in favor of helping someone - just like what she saw him do for the people in the hospital when they first met. tldr, that's the doctor and his doctor and rip martha you would've loved who's gonna save u now by rina sawayama

#THIS ISNT ABOUT ROSE WE CAN STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT WHITE GIRL FOR 1 SECOND. IDC #ALL SHE DOES W REGARDS TO MARTHA IS REMIND HER THAT TEN ISNT GOING TO FALL IN LOVE W HER. #ALL SHE DOES W REGARDS TO TEN IS REMIND HIM THAT EVERY TIME HE LOVES SOMEONE HES FATED TO LOSE THEM. WE CAN IGNORE HER PAST THIS. GBLESS #martha jones #tenth doctor #dr who #ten and martha #'theyre like a rebound' shooting you with my laser eyes sorry. martha says it when she still thinks he's taking her on dates #if he hadn't opened up about gallifrey she would've been totally fine w him taking her back home #and meanwhile ten is very unaware of any kind of romantic element until like the fuckinn. last possible moment lmfao #they are doctor and mentally unstable bus driver. Or perhaps grieving man (genderneutral) and their One (1) friend that has to support them #um idk what this post is. i wanted to pick apart martha's brain for a hot second. #edit: #it's not like 5 am and i'm reading these tags and they're a lot more mean than i meant to put them down as #Not changing them bc i already wrote so much it's out there in the world already sorry. just imagine i'm saying this all nicely #10 era

[bonefall]

I’m rereading Po3 and despite its flaws I really enjoyed the introduction to the three. Jaykit isn’t mentioned to be blind in the first few chapters and instead they chose to show how much MORE capable he is compared to his littermates; until at the end of chapter 3, he brings up his blindness on his own. It makes forcing him to be a medicine cat SO much more frustrating because it really feels like they’re setting him up to be a warrior and choose his own fate (note i haven’t finished the reread this is just my first impression)

I like how you seem to take that path in BB regardless! It makes his arc so much more enjoyable

His arc in canon is super frustrating because he's such an independent character who clearly wants to make his own decisions in life, but then he just gets shoved into the medcat den. I LIKE that he ultimately goes there and that he enjoys it; but it was still really fucked up that they stripped away his autonomy in the process.

Re: they are not real, they are writing choices. Taking away the choices a disabled character can make over their own life, forcing them into a celibate nun role, and then going "awwwww dont worry see? he likes it! This was the best thing for him :)" was fucked up.

And imo it didn't have to be that way! You wouldn't have to go the FULL route I did with big changes, he could just be more involved in the descision to stop being a warrior apprentice and it would be fine. Minor change that would make a world of difference.

I do also have to interject to say though... blindness should really not be an extremely severe impairment for a ThunderClan cat.

I'm dead serious.

Whiskers are built-in sensors that tell you the exact position of everything within several inches of your head, ears swerve to pick up sound, and the jacobson's organ provides a sense of smell so keen that I have an entire Clanmew expansion draft because I needed to make WORDS describing the power of this sense that humans do not have. I cannot stress enough how delicate their other senses are, felines do not rely on their sight like primates do

ThunderClan lives in a mixed-oak woodland, where sight is already often obscured by foliage, objects are close together (for whiskers to feel), and nearly every movement makes noise against the leaf litter. RiverClan and (moor-running) WindClan cats would have a harder time with this disability than Thunder or Shadow.

Cat sight SUCKS to begin with. It sucks BADDD. They don't have color vision, they're significantly nearsighted, and they can't track up-and-down movements well. WC doesn't write realistic cats (more like small fuzzy people really) and I also work with more humanesque eyesight, but the only thing Jay should really lose is an ability to rapidly track a small animal swerving fast. Blind cats are often still excellent hunters in spite of that!

So it's an extra big waste that they railroaded him into a position he didn't choose, saying he couldn't be a warrior. This is the perfect disability to write, if you want to explore how ableism can impact the characters in this society who ARE legitimately still capable of nearly full independence, but still need to find accommodations for what they can't do.

In the same arc they're doing the dumb Cinder Reincarnation Plotline, no less!! Where SHE is also feeling like she has no choice over her "destiny," and gets a conflict over a potentially disabling injury

"Oh nooo if cinderpaw breaks her leg she wont be a warrior!"

"What the f-- Im Jaypaw and im reporting live from the scene where a Category 1 Idiot Moment is taking place. Woman breaks leg, suddenly everyone believes she is a horse, more at 11."

One of these days I should really make "herb guides" just covering how various sensory disabilities impact the lives of Clan cats and some tips for writing them as warriors, especially between Clans. Stuff you wouldn't usually consider, like how much noise deaf cats tend to make, how RiverClan would get a ton of sinus infections and lose their sense of smell, being blind in Sky vs Thunder, etc.

#I once saw someone say offhandedly 'well what if someone snuck up on jay from behind and attacked him. No whiskers there' #NEWSFLASH! YOU ALSO DONT HAVE EYES IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD #He doesn't have short whiskers either they're normally sized #Something like 4 - 5 inches on a cat like him. About double the size of the head foward and sideways #Once you're talking about close combat like the cats usually do there's no way that you can stay back far enough to avoid them #I want to rewrite owl and jay's fight or make a rematch where jay realizes owl is being a coward #Hanging just out of his range and jabbing at him #But once he realizes it's just a coward's strategy it clicks that the counter is to be aggressive #And not let his opponent out of his 'range' #Also give him a neat little scene where they're grappling next to Black's dam project where it's super muddy #And Jay is like 'YOU WANT TO PLAY DIRTY? LETS GET FILTHY' and dunks Owl's face down into the mud #Because Jay can fight without his sight but Owl doesn't know how to continue while there's stinging gunk in his eyes and nose #I like thinking about what I'm going to do for BB!Jay's matches because his fighting style is really fun to write #1. Be aggressive and proactive 2. Don't let them out of range 3. SCARE THEM #From the Mud Match he learns that the best way to end a fight quickly is to absolutely terrify them #Because they're usually not expecting the fight to be difficult nor are they expecting to feel like theyre in danger #So if you surprise them it breaks their willpower real fast #And as he gains a reputation for brutality he faces less opponents until he's practically known as the Cleric Without Mercy #Bone babble

[carolperkinsexgirlfriend]

Steddie Upside-Down AU Part 87

Part 1 Part 86

Mom’s hovering in front of the door, a knife in her hand, trying to get the rest of them to get away from the window. It’s not working. If anything, Max’s nose only presses more firmly to the glass with every request she makes.

Will’s hovering just behind her, desperate to keep Steve and Eddie in his line of sight. He can just barely see the wisp of a curl through the side window of the van, bouncing as Eddie moves around inside.

He squints, trying to keep the hair in sight as the movement becomes more erratic.

Will hears glass breaking just as he loses sight of Eddie entirely, wisps and all.

He rushes past his Mom, using the weight of his body to open the door, even as she stands in the way. It’s almost involuntary, a compulsion to follow the thread that Eddie’d pulled him by.

“Will, don’t!” she cries, but it’s too late. He’s out, and through.

Mike calls after him, too, and there’s the sound of tennis shoes stampeding out of the house behind him. Will only hopes he’s not leading them all to their impending doom.

Bodies slump into the driveway, none of them human. They’re like if the Demogorgon had followed a different evolutionary chain. Dustin would find it fascinating. Will just wants Eddie and Steve back.

Wayne’s still standing sentry, looking out across the street, waiting for more monsters to creep in from the darkness, Barbara by his side.

Shielding the entrance to the van, is El.

“El!” It’s Mike, because it always is. He sounds so genuinely elated that something curdles and dies in his throat. He swallows it down, hopes it decomposes in his stomach, so he never has to look directly at it. “You came!”

El smiles, happily at Mike, then around to all of them. “Of course.” She looks over at Max, and she’s frowning now, that way she does when she doesn’t understand something. It used to happen all the time. Now, it’s rare.

Will doesn’t care, can’t when Eddie’s too quiet in the van somewhere Will can’t see. He pushes past her, too.

There’s a misshapen, monstrous foot sticking out of the broken window. He stares at it for a second before swinging the door open. It wrenches the foot strangely, makes it crack and tear with the resistance of the door before it breaks free, black blood flowing like the thing’s still alive. 

It stays still. 

Will looks past it, and finds Eddie’s pale face.  

There’s glass in his hair, and his palms are bleeding where they’re held in front of him, but he’s breathing. Alive. And he’s looking up at El like she’s answered all his prayers. Will and Eddie have been sharing the same prayers from the same broken pews for so long that for a second, Will thinks Steve is back. 

He scrambles over the dead thing blocking his entrance. It’s cold against his palms, flesh barely giving as he crawls hand over feet atop it. But, Steve’s still just sitting there, blinking, Carol huddled into his side like he can protect her, even like this.

“Steve needs your help,” Eddie says, plaintive. Begging with both voice and unblinking eyes, gaze locked on El’s own until she breaks it to look at where Steve still sits, unbothered.

Her brow furrows, eyes squinting like she’s peeling off layers of skin and meat to get to whatever’s underneath. “He’s lost?” she asks.

Carol is squinting at El like the words aren’t clicking for her. She looks back to Steve, then back to El, brow furrowing with anger.

Eddie nods. Will clears his throat. “Not like last time,” he clarifies. “He’s here, but his mind isn’t.”

El nods, decisive. “I will help.”

“What the hell are you all talking about!” Carol demands, even as people scatter around her, setting up for El’s latest rescue mission. “He’s right there!”

She’s not looking at Will, though. She’s looking at Eddie like it’s all his fault. Still, when Steve doesn’t say anything, her lip wobbles as she turns and asks, “right Steve?”

He doesn’t answer, even as she calls again. Will looks away when she bites her lips, eyes wide.

It’s easier this time. They don’t have to break into the school, don’t have to find a pool. El just sits cross-legged in front of Steve on the carpet, careful to stay away from the broken glass and the dead thing. Mike covers her eyes with Wayne’s flannel while the man himself switches the radio dial until he finds one with enough white noise to satisfy.

He can’t quite tune out the murmured conversation between Eddie and Carol, though, no matter how hard he tries. Eddie explains, in clipped, emotionless words, that something, one of the monsters from the other place she’d just gotten a taste of, has taken over Steve. 

“But we’re getting him back?” she asks, voice shrill and breaking, contrasting with Eddie’s own even tone. A veteran to the newbie in the warzone. 

Will, suddenly, feels terribly old. 

“Quiet now,” El demands. 

Eddie looks away from Carol without answering. There is no answer to that question when they’re all subsisting off hope, and not much else.

“Tell him we’re coming, okay?” Eddie asks. He’s looking down at his own bloody palms now, like he can’t bear to look at their last bastion of hope and wait for it to flame and go out. 

“Ask ‘im how to stop the thing taking ‘im over,” Wayne interjects. 

Eddie’s lip wobbles. Will knows how he feels. He doesn’t want Steve to know, if he’s in there at all, that they don’t know what to do. Neither does Will. He wants to save Steve. He always wants to save Steve.

But, Eddie finally looks up, meeting Will’s eyes before nodding. The movement knocks a tear free, but his voice sounds clear when he says, “Ask him how we kill the fucker.”

El nods, shoulders settling as she reaches out to take Steve’s hand. The white noise blankets them all. Will settles down to wait. 

That’s what they always do, when Steve is dying: they wait. This time is no different. 

Part 88

Taglist: @deany-baby @estrellami-1 @altocumulustranslucidus @evillittleguy @carlprocastinator1000 @hallucinatedjosten @goodolefashionedloverboi @newtstabber @lunabyrd @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @manda-panda-monium @disrespectedgoatman @finntheehumaneater @ive-been-bamboozled @harringrieve @grimmfitzz @is-emily-real @dontstealmycake @angeldreamsoffanfic @a-couchpotato @5ammi90 @mac-attack19 @genderless-spoon @kas-eddie-munson @louismeds @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @pansexuality-activated @ellietheasexylibrarian @nebulainajar @mightbeasleep @neonfruitbowl @beth--b @silenzioperso @best-selling-show @v3lv3tf0x @bookworm0690 @paintsplatteredandimperfect @wonderland-girl143-blog @nerdsconquerall @sharingisntkaren @canmargesimpson @bananahoneycomb

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie upsidedown au #will byers #my fic #Jonthan and Nancy aren't here for Multiple Reasons. 1. I think it would be funny if they were just at Nancy's house hanging out with no ide #what is going on. and also. Nancy's specific drive with the upside-down has NOT been activated because Barb is alive. So she didn't do\ #the whole Muarry expose the lab plot. and Jon is SLIGHTLY chiller because there are more people looking out for Will so he doesn't feel lik #every single thing has something to do with him. This would also make the season 3 plot smacking them hard and fast sooo much worse #this isn't plot relavant really. it will Not come up i don't think. I just think it's funy. #Also 2. that is just too many characters. I had to put a few back in the box. I have difficulty with any more than like 5? this scene #WITHOUT those two has what. 11??????? And it Shows I think. So no more

[inkskinned]

one of the oddest arguments i've ever gotten into was like. i had agreed to give a dude a chance. we were on a first date. and he got. just. so mad. because i had told him i read about 2-5 books a week.

but he found out it was actually that i listen to 2-5 audiobooks. he was dead set on the idea - that's not reading, it's just listening. that i was lying, somehow, by implying i'd "read" the book.

language has a beautiful ability to adapt over time, particularly in the face of technology. when i "connect to the internet" i'm referencing the oldschool method of literally plugging into the internet - which i very rarely physically do. i roll down my window, which is a reference to the circular mechanical action it used to take. hell - the floppy disc remains our resolute save file icon. when i say i "ran to the store," nobody expects me to actually run - and what my version of running to the store looks like and your version are probably pretty different.

i told the guy, baffled: i look at things through glasses, that's still seeing. nobody complains i'm filtering the image.

he says: that's not the same and you know it.

i use audiobooks because i have adhd, and it makes it so i can actually focus. i am using it to help a medically diagnosed condition.

language also has a really cool ability: when we read something, our brains look at a word and make an image. when we hear a story, our brains hear a word and make an image. whether we hear it or read it - the word means the same thing, written or spoken. there is no quantifiable difference in the knowledge-encoding experience - i still happily hallucinate while i'm listening.

and i just kind of stared at him while he was telling me that "claiming" i had "actually read" a book that i had actually-listened-to was lying

and my only baffled response was like: "... are you gatekeeping the experience of... reading?"

#1. do you think someone who listens to 2-5 books a week DOESNT read with her eyes? #2. i was fucking BLIND for TWO MONTHS #so YEAH maybe im SENSITIVE #3. shut the FUCK up i am not DESTROYING SOCIETY by being like ''hahaha this experience is basically the same for me'' #i am still fucking engaging with the literature dude #4. i consider it reading. die mad about it #5. this is just a personal note but they are LITERALLY equivalent to me #bc i mean i guess 7k posts in i should probably finally admit #i have a lowkey form of synesthesia #to be fair i didn't know until like this year when my therapist was like #''... you WHAT'' #but like when im talking i see words and when im writing i legit hear them #like HEAR THEM #i just thought everyone had that #thats called thinking #but it turns out the fact that i sometimes mishear a word and write down what i misheard #means maybe i am fuckt a little in my head #anyway obvi when i read i hear the word too #i cAN sometimes see other people's words but it's usually just my own #and i was like #(again) #thats just like how . people talk #but it turns out if u sometimes misread what you're supposed to be saying #something might be . uhhhhhhhh #not normal #fun fact. #it turns out (i havent googled but she said) #that it's not UNUSUAL for neurodiverse people to have like #SOME lowkey form of synesthesia #but we only associate it with REALLY severe cases so we just assume like .... couldn't be me

[buglaur]

#ts4 #i miss you original mr. macmahon #week 1 of 5 down until i graduate #it's been a long one #i caved and bought papa's freezeria deluxe #see you again in 80 years when i get bored of it #i'll catch up w simblr tonight <3 #update: previous tag is a lie. i am tired

[aj-lenoire]

THE NEW BOYFRIEND IS THE THERAPIST???

AS IN THE RELATIONSHIP THERAPIST WHO TED EXPLICITLY MENTIONED WAS MICHELLE’S PERSONAL THERAPIST FIRST???

THAT THERAPIST???

HEY ASSHOLE IT’S FUCKING ILLEGAL TO SLEEP WITH YOUR CLIENTS

#the rule is TWO YEARS after therapy stops and EVEN THEN it’s super fucking creepy #on a side note i hate hate HATE that sharon just signed off #just fucking hung up the phone like ‘okay byeeeee’ #like i know it was for a joke but the entire previous season established her as a bit grating but genuinely A GOOD THERAPIST #NO therapist worth their certification should just sign off like that #even if your time is up you NEED to take just a minute to help close up what you spent the session opening up #bc otherwise you’re leaving your patient incredibly emotionally unbalanced and vulnerable #it’s not a case of shoving things down—you come back to them later in another session—BUT YOU DON’T JUST LEAVE #ted is CLEARLY in a state of distress and NEEDS some reassurance #can one—ONE—fictional therapist be good???? PLEASE???? #ted lasso #3.03 4-5-1 #jacob bryanson #aj watches

[inked-up-gentleman]

No face, no case.

#me #mine #gif #b&w #1 down 5 up #ride fast dont die #motorcycle

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

"I remember a time when everyone I loved hated me because I hated them. So what, so what, so fucking what. I remember a time when belly buttons were knee high When only shitting was dirty and everything else clean and beautiful. I can't remember anything without a sadness so deep that it hardly becomes known to me. so deep that its tears leave me a spectator of my own STUPIDITY And so I go rambling on with a hey nonny nonny no. How long can one go on writing and writing like you. I now don't really know who I'm writing to or why its quiet [sic] peculiar. I usually write like this and forget about it, but if I post it it's like a little part of my almost secret self in the hands of someone miles away who will wonder what the hell is going on or just pass it off as toilet paper. Anyway I don't care really what happens because when I think about it, its so bloody unimportant – but what is important, who has the right to say that this letter is not important and Jesus is a something anyway – in any way – anyway – Yeah! I wonder what it would be like to be a cretin or something. I bet its great. Er how are you keeping, Stuart old chap. Are you OK – is life good – bad, shite, great – wonderful as it was or is it just a thousand years of nothing, and coalmen on and on and on. I think this is it Goodbye Stu don't write out of – er, what's it? Well, not because you think you ought to. Write when you feel like. So goodbye (from John. You know, the one with glasses) ANYWAY BYE BYE See you soon. I don't know why I said that."

– An unsent letter from John Lennon for Stuart Sutcliffe (1961)

#i couldnt find the entire letter in a post so here it is because i need to go insane quickly #1) his thing where he emulates people he loves & he literally admits to it here but gives up because Stu's writing style tires him out :( #2) “my almost secret self” and that entire bit about sending off a bit of himself into the world is SO REAL #(I really think Stu becoming his pen pal he never had to see allowed John to let his guard down in a way he couldn't with people IRL #in the same way it can be easier to open up online nowadays) #3) “You know the one with glasses” I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!! #4) the jokey deflection from his genuine sadness when he calls Stu “old chap” #5) spiralling through his own thoughts and ending with “– Yeah!” hes a tumblrina fr #6) it makes my heart ache that I'm pretty sure the phrase he was looking for was “a sense of obligation” and I wanna tell him :( #7) the “See you soon. I don't know why I said that.” is haunting when I'm pretty sure he never saw Stu again. #ref #john #fiona.docx #61 #sjw

[yellowocaballero]

What are your tips on writing things that are both comedic and hard-hitting? Your style reminds me of Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams in that sense, and I was wondering if you had any specific ways of hitting that balance of wit and feeling

No pressure to answer btw :)

Hello! My good friend @lazuliquetzal made an excellent post on this, so check it out! I can't phrase it better than she did.

To say something additional: a part of it is not an actual tip and it is the fact that I am just like this. It is just the way I talk. I'm an extremely obnoxious person IRL whose dialogue is half jokes.

This is something I've talked about several times before but I can't find the posts on my Tumblr. But there is a difference between a comedy and jokes. A comedy is in the structure of a story - how it's paced, the sequence and type of action, the character dynamics, and the internal logic of the story. In a comedy you either have a more straightforward style or you figure out how to make the narration itself funny and phrase things in a funny way. A joke is a joke. I use jokes in dramatic stories to cut melodrama and give a palate cleanser, to provide rapport between two characters, to humanize and personalize the setting, and because life is inherently just a little funny. We laugh every day. Things don't feel realistic to me if people never do little funny things or crack dumb little jokes. But similarly, comedies don't feel real either if there's no pathos or genuine depth to the characters - if the characters don't feel like people we know, or if we can't identify them in real life.

The best tips are the one LazuliQuetzal gave tbh. There is a time and a place for humor, and if it's badly placed then it can be super awkward. Balancing wit and feeling is just a matter of figuring out the right pacing, story beats, and uhhh that 'up/down' feeling in a story outline? A comedy is a specific type of story, and learning how to write a comedy is just as much of a skill as learning how to write a drama. Pterry used comedy as social commentary and Adams followed an artistic style of absurdism that has its own social commentary in an extremely British and 1980s way. I think, if your characters in comedies are designed as actual people with coherent internal logic and depth and not just joke machines, then the pathos comes. The jokes come too.

Not a great answer :(. I get this Q a lot and it's always so hard to give a good answer. It's partly just your own natural sense. It's partly skill-building and learning how to write a comedy. It's partly having your finger on the pulse of pacing and story beats, which is an intuitive understanding which is only gained with experience. The drama is in the natural character pathos, not justifying the comedy. Also, I'm biased, but I don't think comedy needs to be in a story for a reason and you don't have to wax philosophical on Tumblr.edu about why comedy in fiction saves the universe. Fiction is entertainment and jokes entertain effectively. That's really it.

#by the up/down thing I mean #when i outline what i wrote looks like this: #1. X (up) 2. X (down) 3. X (up) 4. X (down) 5. X (up) 6. X (up) 7. X (lowest point) 8. Penultimate climax (up) 9. Climax (up) 10. End (down #it. makes sense to me.

[skitskatdacat63]

For everyone who wanted bullfighter Nando when I mentioned it the other day, here you go :D

+ this one I don't feel like coloring yet(imagine he's in Ferrari colors!!!)

#did you know bullfighters dedicate their kill to a friend or member of the public by giving them their hat? #i really wanted to draw silly vettonso where fernando offers seb his hat #seb retires from bullfighting(yeah its an au now) and fernando in his green costume is like; #'here is my hat. now will you come back from retirement? 🥺' #but yeah feel very abnormal abt that ^ and also the thing abt them having someone who helps them get into their costume as a sacred ritual #theres just a lot of thoughts and ideas floating around in my head bcs of it #anyways i liked drawing this but it was very suffering too and took me like 5 hours #its like. you see the intricate embroidery and im like ah! omg! i love painting details!!! #and then remember im not the best w coming up with ideas for the embroidery pattern itself #so pls bear with me 😭😭 mainly i was trying to reference the diamond logo of renault #but most of it kinda just ended up being austrian knots i guess bcs thats what my mind defaults to #i thought the shoulder pad would be the most difficult but that came together the easiest and made the rest actually work in my head #aaahhh also im surprised w the angle of his face! im usually not good at side profiles as well as tilted down heads #but i think he looks pretty good honestly??? #also w the sketch i just wanted to post it bcs i liked his face okay 😭😭😭 #i wanted to paint it too but I realized im so naive thinking i could paint two of these horrifically detailed things in one session #but his face 🥹🥹 i like it!!! theres some renault era pic of him i really like where hes sun drenched and angry looking #^ and i think i captured the vibe well so!!!!! #well anyways mayhe ill draw more of this. it was fun but also like sucked my life force out bcs it kept going from easy to 'I CANT DO THIS' #the pictures of matadors are just...insane to me. tiny waist fat ass flamboyant costume. im dead 🫠 #f1 #formula 1 #fernando alonso #catie.art. #fa14 #matador au

[henrysglock]

S4 Victims: Story by Proxy?

Okay so. In spitballing with Em...something stuck in my head.

So we all know how serial killers leave crumbs because deep down they want to be caught/want the truth to be revealed? Well what if the Duffers, or even current Henry, are doing the same thing. That is, leaving breadcrumbs.

This mainly has to do with the S4 victims, their stories, and the order in which they're chosen.

So, it goes like this:

Chrissy: Abusive mother who resembles Virginia

Fred: Eaten alive by the guilt of being responsible for the accidental death of an innocent.

Max: Suicidal over guilt about Billy's death and her response to it. Billy, who died saving her/while she was saving herself from the Fleshflayer, a regenerated form of the Mindflayer.

Patrick: Abusive father, not much else told.

Max (again): Suicidal Ideation, dies, soul taken, but was revived by El. She's now in some limbo-state, where her body lives but her identity/mind is elsewhere. She will likely be brought back entirely by El in S5.

It almost feels like a story by proxy if we piece it together.

So, let's piece it together:

Person with an abusive mother...feels responsible for the death of an innocent...a sibling who was killed while this person was trying to save themselves from a monster which came from Hawkins lab, which leaves them suicidal...and this person lives in a situation with an abusive father figure. This person becomes suicidal, and their suicide attempt was not entirely successful. They were revived by El, and end up in a limbo state. They may or may not be brought back by El later.

Now, let's collect details about our serial killer:

Abusive mother? Check. (No matter how we frame it, Virginia was not a good mother.)

Innocent died? Check. (Henry has nothing bad to say about Alice, which we know he would if she were not innocent, since he does this with every other victim.)

Sibling died as a result of saving oneself? Check. (The Creel massacre was a situation where Henry was, with whatever intentions we may assign for the other family members' deaths, trying to save himself from Virginia and by extension the lab.)

Ended up with an abusive father figure? Check. (Well...an abusive Papa, one might say.)

Brought back by El multiple times? Check. (El was the one who took Soteria out and brought Henry back from being powerless. El was the one who put Henry in the UD/limbo state. El was the one who opened the gate for his return to the RSU.)

IT ALL ALIGNS. So let's put it together with all the feelings involved:

Citations (I guess? Explanations?) are in the tags listed by number!

Henry had an abusive mother who was at least trying to have him shipped off to the lab, if not actually trying to kill him outright. This situation builds and builds, him wanting to be left alone (1), putting out subconscious and conscious cries for help (2), and her targeting him about it, until March 25th, 1959.

Virginia starts it, attacks, and this time she's out for blood (3). Henry defends himself (4). Virginia, being the parent with powers (5), doesn't actually die (6). Victor, Alice, and Henry go for the door (7). Virginia's on the stairs (8). She's got to finish what she started, since her original plan was botched (9). Henry puts his energy into trancing Victor (10), protecting him from Virginia, since logically two people can't occupy one person's mind.

This leaves good, innocent Alice to fend for herself, standing directly in front of the staircase. She's a loose end (11). Virginia kills her, but can't kill Henry or Victor while the trance is occurring. She figures Henry's going to run himself into the ground (12). She figures she can call Brenner in to collect Henry, like they planned (13). If she disappears, she figures it'll go into the news something like this:

"World War II veteran kills entire family in deranged fit of insanity. Wife missing, presumed dead. Son dies in hospital."

And on both counts, she's essentially right. It does basically go into the papers that way. Victor is taken in for murder, and Henry is taken by Brenner, but not before he sees that Alice was caught in the crossfire (14).

Henry ends up with Brenner, the abusive Papa. He's got the guilt about Alice's death, something that makes him sad and angry. Brenner, maybe, decides to push this in order to increase Henry's powers, but it backfires. Henry's powers increase, but he does...something. He lashes out, he snaps, maybe he even tries to kill himself. He's Brenner's prized pet, though, so Brenner can't let that happen. He seals Henry's powers away with Soteria. It's a death for Henry's entire identity, so far as to have him under the name Peter Ballard. Then comes along 011. She removes Soteria from Peter Ballard...and revives Henry Creel. She then exiles him to the Upside Down in 1979, only to eventually bring him back in 1983 when she opens the Mothergate.

All this to say: It could be his own story, told through the stories of his victims.

Breadcrumbs, or maybe...obvious things, which nobody by any chance ever observes.

Below the cut is where I speculate into motivations for his actions after Soteria's removal, so...not required reading for this particular analysis.

Years of MKUltra torture warp Henry's guilt about the situation into a bastardized, violent, brutal, unethical savior complex based in the notion that he's a predator by nature, but a predator for good. He "saves" the lab kids from a future like his own, filled with nothing but torture. He "saves" El from her ignorance about the lab and intended to have her join him, thereby attempting to "save" her, technically his little sister, from the lab entirely.

He "saves" his s4 victims from their guilt and suffering, which so closely mirror his own, which no one saved him from. I could even go so far as to say he was "saving" Will, who is set up to be so much like him, from a world of horrible people who (from Henry's viewpoint based on his lived experiences) would only serve to abuse and betray him.

This of course isn't to say any of it is right. None of it is right or good...but it makes sense. It follows a pattern. It coheres. The math...maths.

#Citations! #1: Henry often hides alone in the attic. #2: Victor's burning cradle vison (a child in need of help). The drawing of the Shadow Monster. Possibly Alice's nightmares. #2 (cont.): Can all be interpreted as calls for help. Children in distress act out and make disturbing art in hope of conveying that need. #3: Virginia may or may not have been trying to kill Henry but based on the Fleshflayer parallel re: sibling death...it's probable. #4: Henry himself describes that night as self defense/being forced to act. #5: Virginia likely had powers given that Henry has powers #6: Her powers are likely similar to Henry's and Henry has regenerative powers. There are also fishy scenes of her death which imply #6 (cont.): that she may have still been alive. These include: shots from her POV. The fact that her eyes are bloody-- #6 (cont.): but still intact in some shots. The unexplained POV from the top of the stairs. #7: Henry looks very nervous and fidgety at the door like he's antsy to leave with Alice and Victor #8: Again the unexplained POV on the stairs...stairs she earlier runs down after Henry gives her her mirror moment in the bathroom. #9: Henry was successful in disabling her initially which exposed her culpability. #10: Henry puts *so* much time into Victor in canon with basically no explanation why. #11: Alice seems to be a smart and upstanding girl. She might not be controllable re: Virginia being alive/the whole scheme with Brenner. #11 (cont.): The only way to eliminate that risk is to kill her...and we've already seen that Virginia is not good to at least one child. #12: If Virginia has powers like Henry's she likely has a sense of how long someone can be tranced before the trancer runs out of energy. #13: Who called Brenner to come get Henry during his coma? How did Henry end up in Brenner's hands specifically? #14: amerion-main's recent post re: Henry's position change in the foyer shots #End Citations! #This is all very much speculation when it comes to the actual path of events re: the Creel Massacre #but we can all agree that we don't have the full story about the Creels yet...so who knows. #henry/vecna/001 #henry creel analysis #henry creel #virginia creel #creel family #stranger things #stranger things analysis