#1. be awoken by alarm 2. start crying 3. ??? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

evangelic-echo · 27 days

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ℭ𝔢𝔩𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔦𝔞𝔩 𝔓𝔲𝔫𝔦𝔰𝔥𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱

Part 2:

Part 1< >Part 3

Only just leaving the pearlescent building you had entered this morning, it was now evening and the sun was visibly disappearing from heaven’s sky as hues of orange and pink start to appear. You hadn’t realised how much time you burned away trying to understand what type of predicament you had been placed in by your superior.

Walking now the opposite way you walked this morning, you were absolutely drained and could not wait to get back home. Where no one could bother you about anything until your next working hours the next following morning.

However once you arrived, you caught a glimpse of a certain grey haired exorcist angel right outside your front door.

“Luteee, what do I owe the pleasure? I never see you without Adam stuck to your hip- Woah what the fuck happend to your arm?!”

You looked down to Lute’s arm with an alarmed expression on your face.

“You wanna know what happend? You’re wondering why I’m not with Adam right now?! He’s fucking dead. Those fuckers in Hell killed him. Stabbed him multiple times with our own fucking weapons.”

You and Lute were never close friends, but always found ourselves in amidst each other’s company due to Adam. Lute was now crying as she was slowly dropping to the floor as you tried to keep her up by holding her up by her uninjured arm, trying to calm her down. Tears brimmed your eyes seeing Lute like this. She was always known to have a temper and being filled with rage, but in this moment all you could see was hurt. She wasn’t screaming in anguish or anything like that, but as she told you what happened her voice was all raspy and hushed, signalling that she had released all that anguish before getting to your door.

Adam most possibly the dearest friend you had up here in Heaven. Being your very first subject and only subject who didn’t subconsciously ruin humanity, you had gotten closer to him when he rose to Heaven after his time on Earth. So to hear you’d never be able to see his face again, or never be able to listen to his stupid sexual jokes again devastated your entire holy being.

You quickly situated Lute on your couch inside your home as she kept on crying. This is probably the most vulnerable you’ve ever seen her. It definitely doesn’t surprise you however, her and Adam were stuck to eachother to the hip ever since Lutes creation as the Lieutenant of the Exorcists, and besides him she had never made an effort to acquaintance herself with the other Angels around her, so you could say you were now the closest thing she had to a friend.

And honestly now you could say the same about her.

You had left Lute out on the couch last night as she was to emotionally unstable to go anywhere else last night, but once you had awoken this morning and went to check on her, she was no where to be seen. She was in no state being on her own this recent after everything. Worried, you tried calling her phone but after multiple voicemails answering instead of her, you quickly shot a message to her wondering if everything was okay. There was nothing else you could do to help her in that moment, especially if she doesn’t want it.

Carrying on with your morning, you had gotten straight to work by formatting all the notes and questions that were answered by Sir Pentious yesterday afternoon and you had to say, considering that he in fact had spent centuries in hell and lived a life full on sin, he was actually a fun guy to be around. A little weird at times, but fun nonetheless.

You were on your last page of notes before you got a knock on your front door. Hoping it may be Lute coming back from abruptly leaving, you rushed to open the door. Instead you found yourself in front of a tiny, flying cherub with an average sized scroll of paper in its hand.

“Miss Y/N, the great- high Seraphim has requested for me to overlay this very important message to you!”

Looking at the tiny thing unamused, you took the scroll from its hand as it flapped his wings to keep being at eye level with you.

“She has requested you attend a last minute meeting about the recent exterminations! The meeting will take place at midday!”

As you read the scroll in your hands you shooed the little creature away, you had never liked those tiny things. Taking its leave you closed your door, sighing as you walked back to your seat. You could already feel the headache coming on and today hadn’t even started.

Reading further down the scroll, you paused and one specific phrase that caught your upmost attention.

Y/N Diava, has been chosen to represent Heaven in this meeting about the most recent extermination, aswell as possible plans for future exterminations with the King of Hell, Lucifer Morningstar.

What.

In 3 hours, you had to find yourself in a meeting room, with Lucifer Morningstar…

The same Lucifer you hadn’t seen in eons.

The same Lucifer who manipulated Eve into biting into the forbidden apple.

The same Lucifer who fell from the Heavens and nearly dragged you down with him.

What. the. fuck.

You found yourself now spam calling Sera’s phone until she decided to finally pick up the phone.

“Y/N.”

“What the actual fuck is wrong with you Sera, when you told me I’d be in charge of the rehabilitation of sinners, I didn’t think you meant meeting with the big boss the next fucking morning”

There was a long pause on the other side of the line. You can admit that it had been a while since you snapped like this at a superior, but after the shitty 12 hours you’ve had, that was the last thing on your mind right now.

“I thought you could handle it. You said yourself you had moved on, or did I miss hear?”

“I did say I can handle it. I can handle it. But I would’ve preferred if you gave me some extra time to prepare, maybe at least a 24 hour notice would be helpful!”

Your sarcastic tone goes unnoticed.

“Well a lot has changed since our meeting, the exorcists came back without Adam and half their fleet dead! I need you to figure out what happened, and one thing that is for sure is that they do not need to know that redemption for sinners is possible! Is that clear?”

Of course she didn’t want them knowing, she doesn’t want anyone even up here knowing a sinner can overcome divine judgement and reside here in heaven with the rest of us.

“ I had things on the books Sera! I think you’ve forgotten I’m also the singular person here in heaven that overlooks the 8 billion souls that inhabit Earth.”

“I took it upon myself to free your schedule for today, I want you to get down to the bottom of what prompted hell to fight back against us after all these years.”

You paused for a moment, as you then started to wonder the same thing. Sure we were basically killing all the souls down there for no reason, but we had been doing it for centuries, so why now decide to fight back?

“Oh, and Y/N?”

You hummed in response to see what else the Seraphim wanted with you, her change in tone peaking your interest.

“I heard about Adam, I am very sorry for your loss.”

The breathe that you inhaled got stuck in your throat as you were reminded of Adam. Tears threatening to fall from your eyes as you looked down to your phone.

“Thank you Sera, I’ll have notes of the meeting to you by tomorrow.”

And with that you hung up the phone. It was weird hearing Sera have any sort of sympathy towards you, it almost had you questioning if it was really her on the phone you were speaking to. You angled your head up to the sky to stop the risk of tears falling from your eyes, knowing that once they fell there would be nothing you could do to hold them back, and you had a very important meeting with the King of Hell in the next hour…

You were now stood in front of the Embassy, you had never been here before but you were certain this was the link between Heaven and Hell. Stepping inside, the first thing you saw was a front desk made out of pure white marble with the same cherub that was knocking on your door this morning.

“There you are! You’re two whole minutes late! Get in there already!”

He pushes your shoulders towards the nearest door.

“Now hold on a minute-”

But he doesn’t let you finish as he fully pushes you through, making you stumble a bit once you entered the room.

Now panicking as you were just forced into a room with the King of Hell, fucking embarrassing yourself as the first time he’s seen you in eons was you tripping over yourself as a tiny ass angel-

Wait.

He’s not here?

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion as instead of seeing Lucifer sat at the conference table in front of you, you saw a young, pale, blonde haired girl wearing a red tuxedo with two red dots over her dimples.

God, she looked exactly like her father.

A/N: Guys thank you so much for the likes omg we’ve gotten over a 100 likes altogether!! And now I’m officially starting a tag list so if you want to be included just comment.

Tag list: @froggybich

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i-dont-want-your-hysteria · 2 years

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One Lonely Night (Joe x Reader)- Part 1

(One night in October of 2020, I couldn't sleep. I reached over to my phone, and wrote this entire fic within the next hour or so. It's angst. It's all angst. I originally thought it was too angsty to post, so I sat on it for 2 years. Enjoy the angst)

TW: nightmares/description of panic attack

Words: 1,950

Prompt: Post-HND/pre-Pyro era. You bunk with Joe at he and Denise's house one winter night, but someone has a nightmare, and it causes you to take a good look at your relationship.

-----

February, 1982

He'd awoken with a scream of high alarm at an ungodly hour. It was enough to scare you awake as well, and in due time, you found yourself unexpectedly holding him tight and rocking him gently.

You were in his room with him that night, but it was only for one night; one night that you were staying with him, one night that Denise was gone, and one night where it was supposed to get drastically cold.

The expected- but sudden- extreme drop in the temperature made Joe forbid you from sleeping on the sofa (as was the original plan). Instead, he insisted you claim Denise's vacant spot on their bed in order to be shielded from the briskness.

You couldn't argue. It was logical and considerate of him not to leave you in the cold. Who were you to object to a warm, cozy bed?

It was only for one night. It was just supposed to be a simple, freezing, straightforward night. You were supposed to sleep, wake up, eat breakfast, and get on your way.

Things went a little differently.

That's how you found yourself here.

Your hand was resting on the back of his head, "Shh..."

You'd been embraced like this for only a fraction of a moment. Though his heart hammered against your chest, Joe wasn't out of breath as badly anymore. His overall weakness made itself visible through the way he held onto you; it felt as if he were really trying, but wasn't doing his best. Despite all you'd been through, you'd never seen him so terrified.

After a quick but steady moment of you holding him like this, you felt him start to shudder occasionally, and warm tears began to seep into your shoulder.

"It's alright, I'm right here..."

He held onto you tighter.

"You're safe now, it's over..."

It had then occurred to you that you'd never seen him cry before, and you were surprised he let himself go so easily. It broke your heart to see him so brittle.

"Just in and out... you'll wake up in a moment..."

A dead silent room at 3:00am felt like a rather eerie place to be recovering from a nightmare, now that you came to think of it. Darkness was still everywhere despite the lamp being on. It didn't feel much safer than whatever unpleasant dream Joe had been mercifully removed from.

You gave him time and hoped he'd come around. At any given instant, you expected him to retract himself and go back to normal. After all, that was the Joe you always knew.

The seconds ticked away, but he didn't seem to be coming down. Whatever had scared him left him petrified, and your efforts felt ineffective to say the least. He didn't feel like he was becoming more grounded, either, so you decided to do the only thing you could think of in order to appease him.

Because in the end, it was something you knew would capture your Joe's attention.

"Let me put my arms around your head..." you very softly and very slowly sang to him. Your fingers on the back of his head tenderly stroked his hair.

"Jee, it's hot, let's go to bed..."

You felt his muted sobbing gradually stop, and the tension he wrapped around you began to become loose.

"Don't forget to turn on the light..."

He was still shivering slightly from the chills of terror, but his breathing had slowed.

"Don't laugh, babe, it'll be alright..."

Who knew such an amply sized man could become so small? Joe certainly wasn't afraid to be vulnerable at times, but this- this was an extreme that made you wonder if it had ever happened before. You had never heard of him having nightmares in the past, and you knew this wasn't a good time to ask on that matter. Perhaps this was just a particularly unlucky occasion that you just so happened to be there for.

Still, though, whatever history Joe had with this sort of thing, you were happy that he wasn’t currently alone.

"Pour me out another phone, I'll ring and see if your friends are home..."

In an unexpected turn of events, Joe began to whisper along with the lyrics.

"Perhaps the strange ones in the dome, can lend us a book, we can read up alone..."

You closed your eyes in relief. Grounded-- he was becoming grounded. He was coming around and breaking from the illusion his tainted dreams had trapped him in minutes ago.

"And try to get it on like once before..."

You were still rocking him gently, secretly hoping he'd want to stay safely concealed in your arms for just a little longer.

"When people stared in Jagger's eyes and scored, like the video films we saw..."

You fell quiet, feeling the man in your arms may have been fully back in his body once again. You decided to test those waters.

"Are you okay now?"

There was silence for a few seconds. You hoped to god he would revert back to his normal talkative self; it would've been a wonderful sign that he was okay.

Instead, he reassured you in a different way.

He very softly continued the Bowie lyric, "His name was always Buddy..."

You smiled to yourself, shutting your eyes and continuing in the way you were before, "And he'd shrug and ask to stay..."

His hair in between your fingers, the damp stains of tears on your shoulder- it all made you feel horribly close to Joe. It all happened so fast that you didn't have time to process just how deeply intimate the whole scenario was.

"She'd sigh like Twig the Wonder Kid, and turn her face away..."

Your mind went back to Denise; had this ever happened around her? What was her level of providing intimate comfort for Joe? Were you being just as intimate- possibly more intimate- than he was with her? How vulnerable would Joe let himself get around his girlfriend?

"She's uncertain if she likes him, but she knows she really loves him..."

Either way, you decided it didn't matter. This was clearly a one-of-a-kind moment, and how you were handling it was clearly making an impact.

Joe appeared appreciative of your comfort, and that was satisfactory for you.

"It's a crash course for the ravers, it's a drive-in Saturday."

You squeezed him just a little tighter, asking again, "You think you're okay now?"

He slowly peeled himself away from you, wiping his eyes and avoiding looking into yours.

"Yeah, I'm alright," his voice was a mere grumble, accompanied by a sniff, "I'm sorry I woke you up."

"That wasn't your fault."

Quietness settled between you again. You didn't quite know what to say, so you let your curiosity come forward in the name of caring.

"Does this normally happen?"

A solemn shake of Joe's head.

"Never like this. Never... this bad."

You frowned.

"This has happened before?"

"Few times," he was still looking down, "It's just... stress. It's kinda the- the same dream, but never this... vivid."

The admittance of stress came as no surprise to you; everyone was stressed lately. Recording the third Def Leppard album was starting to take its toll on everyone involved; especially Joe. Mutt was a best friend of the band, but he was also insanely particular. He was hard on everyone, and everyone took it the wrong way no matter what. There'd already been one occasion where Mutt had reduced Joe to tears in the vocal booth, and- though you weren't there for it- the tension in the studio had been painfully palpable ever since.

With this in mind, your next course of questioning would've been to acquire more detail about Joe's nightmare, but you could tell he was growing more and more uncomfortable as it seemed. You made up your mind to pass up on those questions for the moment.

Instead, you took his hand and beckoned him to lay down with you again. The bulk of his heightened panic seemed to be mostly gone, and he looked like he was growing rather tired from the sudden drop in adrenaline. His nerves still felt physically uneasy; you could feel this through his hand.

"What do you normally do when this happens? Does Denise help you?"

Joe sighed and wiped his eyes, ashamed, "...it's never happened around her before. I’ve never... told her."

Ah. There was the answer to your question. You were being more intimate than his girlfriend.

"I think you should talk to her about this, okay? Just so she's not surprised if this sort of thing happens. You can trust her; she loves you."

Joe's eyes closed, hiding the remaining, shameful tears in his eyes, "Okay."

You remained holding onto his hand in an effort to keep him grounded. You were both back under the covers now, lamp still on, and you told him to close his eyes and focus on the feeling of your hand in order to fall back to sleep peacefully.

"Picture yourself holding Denise's hand," you suggested, "Picture that she's here with you, protecting you, and telling you that everything is alright."

What Joe said next nearly took away your own feeling of being grounded. It hit you when you least expected it.

"I don't want to, cos I still need you here..."

It left you speechless. You had known nearly all the right things to say since you'd woken up, but now found yourself mute.

"I'm not going anywhere," you reassured him with a squeeze of his hand, choosing not to dwell on what he said, "The only place I'm going is back to sleep, and it's the same place you're going, too. I'll be right here."

Joe's breathing finally sounded 100% normal again, and the sound of it relieved you. He'd strengthened up since he'd unexpectedly awoken, now finally seeming a bit like the usual exhausted version of himself.

Your Joe was back.

"You're a great friend, Y/N..." Joe mumbled his weary thoughts, clearly drifting off once more, "I'm so lucky to have you..."

You squeezed his hand one last time, "I'm lucky to have you, too."

Everything felt as cozy as it’d been when you first climbed into bed. You were slightly afraid that in the morning, Joe would rather not mention this whole scenario. That was understandable. The only thing about that that worried you- was the thought of this night being forgotten from your friendship.

The only thing you wanted in this exhausted moment was to hold onto this new breed of intimacy-- for as long as you could.

This higher level of friendship peaked for only one, freezing night. It was one night where you and Joe shared a bed, one night where you comforted him after a terrible nightmare, and one night where you found a new meaning to the word 'intimate'. Platonic intimacy could also be a form of protection, and it seemed to be just the antidote for Joe's fears. As long as you both stayed in bed- your midnight mind was certain- this protection you had over him wouldn't fade.

As you drifted off alongside your weary and worn-out friend, it occurred to you exactly why you were sharing the bed with Joe in the first place: it was warm, it was comfortable.

It was safe.

-----

("Drive In Saturday" by David Bowie)

#def leppard #joe elliott #def leppard fanfic #def leppard x reader #joe elliott x reader #original content #yes there is a part 2 👀 all done and ready #yes i stole another REO title for a fic don't @ me

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xoxo-teddybear · 3 years

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Heyo! I'm a REALLY REALLY REALLY! Big fan of angst and your works, so I have a suggestion! So like, in this au Bakugou and Y/N are aged up and they have a daughter (let's just say her name is either Katsumi or Kirumi). So, the child is 4 years old and she didn't get her quirk yet. Let's just say Bakugou got drunk when his friends dragged him to a bar and this woman decided to hit him up and let's just say he cheated- so Y/N found out because kiri just had to tell her because it wasn't manly at all for him to keep a secret and Y/N left him with his child and boom! Bad ending. Please tag me in this one tyy!

Bet.

(Changed it up the slightest bit to make Katsumi remember bc I kinda wanna do a part 2 for this)

Nobody to Blame but Yourself - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: ANGST, cursing, cheating, alcohol consumption

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Pt.1 Pt.2

You have a small, beautiful family. Your loving husband, Katsuki and your adorable daughter, 5 year old Katsumi.

Katsumi was your precious baby girl. She had Katsuki’s ash blonde hair with your silky smooth hair texture. She had your E/C eyes and Katsuki’s porcelain skin. She had Katsuki’s bravery and boldness along with your kindness and compassion. She was a perfect mix of you both.

Y/N and Katsuki have been together ever since their childhood. Their families were close and they grew up together. Katsuki always swore to protect his princess. They got together in their junior year and about 5 years after they graduated from UA high, Katsuki proposed.

—

“Be back soon, okay Suki?” You sweetly said to your husband as he got closer to the door. He pulled you in with a smile and pecked your cheek.

“Yeah, yeah Teddy Bear. I’ll probably be back sooner than you think, don’t even wanna go with those losers.” He complained with a strained face. You giggled at his expression and went on.

“Those losers have been your best friends since high school. You love them. You know you do,” you teased. “Besides, you haven’t spent some time with them in forever.”

“Yeah Y/N. I’m a husband and a dad. I don’t need to be around my friends, I need to be with my family.” He exclaimed with a playful voice.

“Well your family will still be here when you get back. Just as long as you always come back to us too.” You said with a wink.

“Always will Teddy Bear.” He said holding you tight. He held you close until you both heard the little pitter patter of feet running to the front door. You both looked down and saw your daughter in her pjs and watched as she jumped onto Katsuki.

“Be back soon daddy!” She said with a squeal. Katsumi was definitely a daddy’s girl. Her and her father were attached at the hip the second she was born. They were best friends and you loved their father-daughter dynamic.

“Katsumi, you’re supposed to be sleeping, love.” You said with a chuckled as you held her tiny hand while Katsuki picked her up in his arms.

“I wanted to say bye to daddy before he went to see uncle Kiri! And uncle Denki and uncle Sero and Auntie Mina!” She said and watched as you and Bakugou lip synced to her voice as she said the Bakusquad’s names. She laughed at her parent’s teasing as Katsuki assaulted her in kisses.

“That’s sweet baby bear. Don’t worry. I’ll be back soon. So get to bed you brat,” Bakugou said as he placed his daughter down and ruffled her hair. Others would look down on the rough treatment but you knew Katsumi never took it seriously. She always laughed and played back with Katsuki whenever he put on his ‘mean guy act.’

“M’kay.” Katsuki bent down to kiss her cheek and you followed doing the same action before Katsumi ran back off to her room. You and Katsuki said bye to each other after Katsuki gave you a loving kiss. He walked out the door to meet with his friends as he knew he was in for a long night.

It would soon shock him to see how true that statement would be.

—

The night was going well. Katsuki left around 8:30 and he said he would be back sooner than you thought so considering he was now a family man, you thought he’d be back by midnight. However, you woke up in the middle of the night and saw it was 3 in the morning...and he still wasn’t home. You were starting to get worried now.

If this was back in your earlier years of marriage, you’d say this was okay. Not great but okay, except now, Katsuki has responsibilities and promises that he vowed to keep. He should’ve been home a long time ago. Where was he? You stayed up deciding to sit and wait for him to come home and after almost 2 hours, your phone rang.

You picked it up quickly with a little bit of fear and anger sitting in your stomach. You didn’t even bother to check who it was so when you heard the voice of your husband’s best friend instead of Katsuki, you grew concerned.

“Katsuki! Where are you?!” You asked with worry as you slightly shouted into the phone.

“Hey Y/N..... It’s Kirishima. Umm...I have something to tell you.” He said with sadness detected in his voice.

“Kiri? Is everything alright? Wheres Katsuki?” You asked.

“I’m so sorry Y/N...”

Listening to the red head’s voice made your eyes pop. Your body trembled and tears began to pool in your eyes as you shook your head in denial. Katsuki loved you. You both had a daughter! A family! He would never....he wouldn’t....right? After talking to your friend for some time and getting the crucial information you needed, you made up your mind on what you had to do.

“T-Thank you, Kirishima. Goodnight.” You said into the phone with a hiccup.

“I’m sorry Y/N. You don’t deserve this. You and Katsumi....goodnight.” He said and hung up the phone. You placed it down and sat in silence for a moment. After about a minute, you broke down again and cried into your hands. You sobbed as tears flowed down your cheeks. Rivers of heartbreak and anger streamed down your face as you cried the night away.

Well..you couldn’t cry all night. Katsuki would probably be back in the morning and you had plans. You’d have to save your tears for later. You looked at the time.

4:18 a.m.

You set your alarm for 6 and went back to bed. The whole night, all you could think about was your precious baby girl. This was going to break her little heart. Instead of crying over your husband’s betrayal, you wept for your daughter’s future without her best friend. Eventually you cried yourself to sleep and the sun rose in time.

—

10:00 a.m

Katsuki opened his eyes to the alarm on the nightstand. He yawned a bit before adjusting his eyes to morning light. The more he looked at the stand, the more he realized he didn’t recognize it. Nor the alarm clock. He looked around and noticed he wasn’t in his bedroom. Katsuki shot up and sat on the bed and looked down to notice he was completely undressed. He looked to the side and saw some random woman. A complete stranger who was also naked in bed with him. His heart grew rapid as his eyes grew frantic.

“No, no, no, no, no, no this can’t be happening..this can’t be happening!” Katsuki said as his hands found way to his hair as he tugged on the blonde locks. The woman next to him awoken to his shuffling and smiled up at him. She placed her hand on his bare chest and cuddled in close to him as she sighed in content.

“G’morning handsome. Had a fun night?” She teased, reminding him of his affair and unloyal actions.

“Get the fuck off me!” He said as he jumped out of bed and found his pants. He pulled them on and continued to scream. “What the fuck is wrong with you?! The hell did you do to me you fucking slut?”

“What’re you talking about? And who the fuck are you calling a slut?” The woman said with sass.

“Just tell me where I am!” Katsuki demanded.

“A hotel! You know, the hotel you dragged me to so you could get your dick wet.” She said as she sat up from the bed but still covered herself with the blanket.

“Why the fuck would I do that?!” He screamed.

“You tell me. All I know is that I saw you in that bar, you drank a hell of a lot with your friends, I came up to you and flirted with you, you flirted back, we shared a few more drinks, and you dragged me here. I mean, I consented of course but still.” The stranger explained. Bakugou shook as he looked around in a frenzy. “Anyway, round 2?”

“You fucking bitch, I have a wife!” He screamed at her as he got himself dressed.

“Heh, wow. Well when your wife leaves you after she finds out you cheated, give me a call.” The woman said as she layed back down on the bed. Katsuki seethed at her as he squinted his eyes in disgust.

“You shameless slut. Like hell I will! And Y/N’s not gonna leave me! She loves me! And I love her-“

“Sure didn’t seem like it last night~” the woman said. Bakugou had enough and blasted the bed she was on with his quirk before cussing her out and leaving her there. He quickly ran out the hotel and found his car. He hopped inside and started it as he quickly sped off home.

“Shit!” Bakugou screamed at himself. How could he do that?! How could he cheat on you?! You were his everything! You and Katsumi! His two girls were his entire world! And he betrayed the both of you by doing this. He could only hope that you wouldn’t find out. He can’t tell you what he did. He would lose you! He can’t lost you! This whole thing just has to pass over and things will be fine. Right? Well something didn’t sit right with him as he inched closer and closer to his house.

—

When the 6 o’clock alarm rang, you woke up, ready for the day to begin and the drama to unfold. You were quick to get yourself ready. Brush your teeth, shower, get dressed, a little makeup, and you packed your important belongings and your clothes. Everything else would be replaceable. You put on a pair of shoes and put the rest in the large suitcase you had.

You made a quick call to Mina, assuming she already knew what happened. You asked if you could drop Katsumi off for some time and she of course said yes. After saying ‘thank you,’ you brought all your bags into your car and went back inside to get your daughter.

You walked into your daughter’s bedroom to see her sleeping peacefully. Next to her bed, a framed picture of your once happy family. It was Katsumi’s 4th birthday and she didn’t want to spend it with anybody else except for Mommy and Daddy. Now, you were gonna have to take someone out the picture. You shook your daughter awake and watched as she opened her beautiful E/C eyes that resembled your own.

“Katsumi..hey baby, wake up.” You softly said with a reassuring smile to not alarm her. You watched as she rubbed her eyes with her tiny fist and looked up at you.

“Mommy? What’s going on?” She asked as she looked around in a daze.

“You’re gonna have a little play date at Auntie Mina and Uncle Kiri’s house. Uncle Denki and Uncle Sero will be there too! You excited?” You asked with enthusiasm to hide your pain.

“Really Mommy?!” Your daughter asked with excitement.

“Mhm! Get ready and get dressed for Mommy. They’ll be here at 8, okay?” You said rubbing your daughter’s back before she quickly jumped out of bed and into her own bathroom.

“Okay Mommy!” She said as she ran into the bathroom, turning on the sink to begin her morning routine. Some time passed and Katsumi got dressed and you went back in her room to help her dry her hair. You helped her put on her shoes and by the time they were on, Mina and Kiri were already at the door.

You opened it with a soft smile and the couple looked at you with supportive, sad eyes. “Hey guys..”

“It’s okay to be sad Y/N, we’re here for you.” Mina said. Your eyes teared up at her words but you shook your head and gave her a hug.

“Thank you, but I promise myself I wouldn’t cry. At least, not when Katsumi’s around. I gotta be strong for her. Her whole life’s about to change after all.” You sadly said as you looked down and released your hold on Mina. Your pink friend nodded before walking into the house to find Katsumi in her bedroom. You and Kirishima stayed at the door and talked a bit more.

“I’m so sorry for all of this Y/N. I should’ve been watching him more.” Kirishima said as he looked down in sorrow.

“Kiri, you shouldn’t have to watch him. He cheated and that was his choice. Your choice was being a true friend and telling me. A true man,” you joked. You both gave a little bittersweet laugh before calming down again. “Thank you so much Kirishima.”

The red head did nothing but pull you in for a tight hug. You almost cried on his shoulder before your daughter came to the both of you. “Uncle Kiri!”

You both separated and looked down at the excited 5 year old. She jumped onto her uncle and he happily held her in his arms. “Hey squirt. Ready for a day full of fun?”

“Mhm!” Katsumi replied. You all talked some more before Katsumi said her goodbye to you and went off with Kirishima and Mina. You shut the door and took a break as you allowed a few silent tears to drop. You wiped them away and went to pack your daughter’s bags. Just a few more hours and he’d be home..probably. All you knew was that you’d have to face him eventually.

Finally, you finished packing your daughter’s things and placed them in your car. You put on a jacket and waited for Katsuki to walk through the doors. Soon, this perfect little family would go crumbling to the ground.

—

Katsuki pulled into his driveway and his eyes took notice of your car still there. He smiled at the sight and quickly got out of the car. He slammed the vehicle door shut and ran to the entrance. He unlocked the door in a rush and to say he was happy to see you on the couch, still there, was an understatement.

“Y/N! Hey Teddy Bear! I am so sorry!” He said as he ran to you and sat down next to you on the couch, pulling you in for a tight hug. He was too happy to even notice your jacket and shoes that you wore.

“Katsuki, you were gone all night. Where were you?” You said in a soft voice as you placed your hand on his chest so you could face him.

“I-..I overdid it and spent the night at Kirishima’s. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you, love. I was passed out the whole night.” He said and attempted to pull you in again but you pressed a hand to his chest to stop him. You couldn’t believe he was going to lie to you. Actually, now that you think about it, cheating wasn’t below him so why would lying be either?

“So why didn’t Kirishima call me? Or Mina?” You questioned. Unfortunately, you underestimated Katsuki’s quick tongue. He was a good liar, and if you hadn’t already known the truth, you’d probably believe him.

“Shitty hair’s phone died and Alien girl was asleep by the time we got back. By the time he put me in the guest bed, I knocked out so don’t asked me what happened after.” He said. Your anger and fury grew at his lies but he didn’t notice. “Look, I’m so sorry I came back so late but I can make it up to you Teddy Bear. Now would you just give me a hu-“

“SHUT! UP!” You screamed as you pushed him off of you. You stood up from the couch and Bakugou watched you in “confusion.” Bakugou felt his heart racing as he had a guess at why you were so mad but he refused to believe it.

“T-Teddy Bear, whats wrong?” He asked with shaky hands as he tried to reach out to you but you dodged all his attempts.

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong?! You’re fucking lying to me! You’re lying to me after doing what you did! Katsuki, are you just gonna act like you don’t know what you did?! Because I know! So why don’t you?!” You screamed at him. Bakugou still couldn’t believe you knew so he tried his soft attempts once more and reached out to you again.

“Baby, please calm dow-“

“Are you fucking serious Katsuki? You’re gonna tell me to calm down?!” You laughed out in disbelief. You watched as Katsuki’s lip began to tremble and he looked down in shame. “Say it.”

“What?” He spoke softly.

“Say what you did.”

“......”

“Say it Katsuki! Tell me what you did and how you betrayed not only me but your daughter too.” You specified. It took Bakugou a second before he spoke up in a soft, quiet voice.

“I cheated on you...”

“Louder.”

“I cheated on you!” He said while standing up and facing you with tears in his eyes. “I cheated on you! Okay?! I got drunk last night and slept with someone else but baby I swear I didn’t mean it!” He said as he walked to you and tried to hold you. You once again pushed his hands away before speaking back.

“It doesn’t matter if you meant it or not Katsuki! You still did it!” Your voice grew dry as it began to break. Your eyes pooled with tears as you continued. “I would’ve NEVER done that to you. I wouldn’t even be CAPABLE of doing that to you Katsuki! Because I love you!”

“I love you Y/N! I swear I do!” He fought back but you retaliated.

“It doesn’t seem like it! Because you slept with someone else! You promised me you would never hurt me. You promised you would always protect me. You promised me that you loved me and only me! Not only that but you promised your daughter that you would never bring harm to her! Guess what?! You’re the reason her whole life is going to be so fucked Katsuki! Do you realize that?!” You screamed at him.

“I do, Teddy Bear, I do!” He said.

“Don’t fucking call me that Katsuki!” You said with an exasperated voice. Bakugou shook his head as he walked to you and kneeled infront of you.

“Baby, please! I’m sorry! I was drunk, it didn’t mean anything! It was a mistake but if we can forget about this I promise I’ll make it up to you!” He begged.

“Forget? Forget?! Are you insane?! I’m never gonna be able to forget any of this Katsuki. How the hell am I supposed to forget that my first friend, my first love, my first kiss, my first everything betrayed me like this! How am I supposed to forget that my husband, who I’ve known since we were fucking babies, cheated on me?! Tell me!” You said as the tears finally fell.

“I don’t know...I don’t know but I promise I can make it up to you! So please forgive me! Please stay!” He pleaded. The whole time he couldn’t let go of you. Every time you pushed him off, he just came right back.

“How am I supposed to trust that you’ll actually keep that promise?” You said softly with a sad voice. “If it wasn’t clear already, I’m not staying. We’re getting a divorce, Katsuki.”

Bakugou felt his heart shatter. He looked at you with his trembling body and shaky irises. “W-What?”

“Katsuki...you cheated. There’s no other way around it. No explanations or excuses. And you can’t even blame it on the alcohol because I’ve been blackout drunk before too and the idea of cheating on you never even crossed my mind. You have nobody to blame but yourself.” You said with a broken voice and a shrug. “We’re getting a divorce and I’m taking Katsumi with me.” You said and began to walk to the door.

Bakugou couldn’t believe what he just heard and so he got up from his knees and ran after you. He ran in front of you and held you by the shoulders. “What?! No! Baby!! Please, that’s my daughter! You can’t just take her from me, please!”

“I won’t be taking her from you,” you said and pushed his hands off your shoulders. “We can co-parent, but when she’s old enough, when Katsumi asks why we’re no longer together, I’ll be telling her the truth. So you can still see her, but when she’s ready to know, if she decides she hates you and doesn’t want to see you ever again, then you’ll have to accept it.”

At this point, Katsuki began to openly cry as he allowed his fat tears to flow down his face. Hiccups left his mouth as he shamelessly sobbed infront of you. “Y-Y/N....please don’t go. You guys are my family, you’re both my entire world..I-I love you both so much,” he said and went in to grab your hand, which you allowed. “I know I hurt you both a-and I know I fucked up, but please just give me another chance. I swear this was just a mistake, I never meant to do it. Please stay...please let me fix my mistake. I love you.”

Tears once again filled your eyes but you didn’t allow them to flow. “.....I love you too Katsuki,” at those words, Bakugou felt a bit of hope. “But I just can’t stay with you. If it was just me..I probably would give you another chance..but Katsumi is your daughter Katsuki. She’s your own flesh and blood and you betrayed her. You’re supposed to be her hero and you betrayed her like this. I just can’t trust the fact that you won’t do something like this again, and not just for my sake but for our daughter’s too. I’m sorry, but this is where we end.”

Once you said that you walked away from Bakugou, leaving him in shock. He stood there, regretting everything. Not just his mistake, but all the times where he could’ve been a better husband.

‘I should’ve held her more..I should’ve been home more...I should’ve been more for them,’ he thought until he heard the door open and slam shut. He turned to face it and looked around the now very empty house. He allowed silent tears to drip down his face and then he took a little tour of his new environment.

He walked to the master bedroom and saw all your belongings gone. He saw your closet was empty, all your shoes gone. He went into the bathroom and saw all your stuff was missing. The tears flowed faster and when he walked into his daughter’s room, it made it 10x worse.

He opened the door to the pink room and saw her bedsheets missing, all her toys gone, her closet was barren, and her bathroom was hollow. He walked back out to his little girl’s former bed and sat down. He cried on the bed and sobbed into his hands. He broke down as he thought back to your words. You were right.

‘You have nobody to blame but yourself.’

Katsuki looked up from his hands and when he did, he took notice of the picture frame that was left faced down on the night stand. He picked it up and his heart turned to dust. It couldn’t break anymore. He looked at the picture of his once happy family. His beautiful wife, his blessing of a daughter. His two girls who had a protector...that protector was supposed to be him...and he failed. He smiled at the picture but continued to cry. It was a beautiful sight but you left it behind.

He took the picture with him as he walked to his bedroom. He sat on the bed and held the frame close to his chest as he layed down on the cold mattress. Tears still freely fell as a shadow casted over his eyes. No words could be said except for a few.

“N-Nobody to blame but myself.”

@darl1ngmei

A/N: Hey Cubs! It’s been awhile since my requests have been closed AND THEY STILL ARE but the reason why I took this one was because I’ve been on a writing spree recently (I literally have 15 drafts full of different writing pieces🤣) and I rly liked this request! Please don’t start sending requests because they may just get lost. When I open up my requests, then you guys can send some because I love to satisfy! Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this piece and thank you to the cub who requested this! 🧸💗

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marshmallow-phd · 5 years

Text

Sins of the Father

Genre: Mafia Au

Pairing: Junmyeon x Reader

Summary: Soon after your second birthday, your parents were killed and you were adopted by your father’s best friend, taken away to their home country where you lived your life in peaceful ignorance. As far a as you knew, your parents simply left you large fortune to be released to you once you reached your twenty-third birthday. At least, that’s all you thought you were inheriting. When a famously ruthless mafia boss discovers your existence, you are left at his mercy. While under his roof, you learn more about your father than you ever wished you had, including the part of your inheritance that made you the most valuable person in the underworld. Hidden in a bank in New York City were files that held the darkest secrets of the mafia families and everyone in their pocket. With another terrifying leader’s eyes trained on you, you’ll learn to watch your back… and guard your heart, before your father’s past becomes your doom.

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I 11 I 12 I 13 I 14 I 15 I 16 I Final

You didn’t get to have that insightful dinner with Mr. Martin. Junko insisted on leaving for Korea right away and the jet was ready to go before the sun began to set on the horizon. Less than twenty-four hours you’d spent in the one place you could have really been able to know your parents, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to be sorry about it. Hopefully, you’d have another chance in the future. If not, then that was just your fate.

Over and over, your father’s words echoed in your mind. The way his eyes softened when he told you that he loved you, that you were the most precious thing in the world to him. If anyone else had told you that he’d said that, you would have laughed in their face. There was no fathomable reason he would feel that way about you.

And yet, you’d judged the man too quickly. You’d made assumptions about someone that you never knew, who worked so hard to bring you into this world. The only way you could right your thoughts and make it up to him was by fulfilling his last request: to not let Junko get ahold of the files.

Right now, as you pretended to be asleep, Junko was pouring himself over the fake files by the dim overhead light from the jet’s ceiling, ignoring the beautiful sight of the darkened sea below. He took in every word like it was the holy script, murmuring unintelligibly to himself, marking certain key phrases and paragraphs with a red pen. Eventually, you drifted off to the sound of fluttering paper.

You were awoken rather roughly when the plane landed back home over fourteen hours later. There was no gentleness as the bodyguards escorted you off the plane and into the waiting car. Junko said nothing to you, simply rubbing his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. Apparently, he hadn’t gone to sleep at all, too obsessed with memorizing the details of the files that were now locked safely away in the briefcase by his feet to bother with the important human function. It may be a little petty, but you thought the least you deserved was a “thank you”. Threat or no threat, you still got him what he wanted. A little appreciation would have been nice.

You scoffed at yourself internally. There you were, pouting about not being thanked when you were planning on sabotaging him.

After you arrived back at the mansion, Junko split off from you, heading in the opposite direction of the bedroom on the second floor, briefcase in hand. Shaking your head, you kept on until you reached the bed. You collapsed on top of the covers, barely putting in the effort to remove your shoes before falling asleep once again.

You hardly saw Junko over the course of the next few days. The few glimpses of him you did get were just in passing, making him seem like a ghost haunting the hallways that you could only glimpse at from the corner of your eye. In a way, you were overly relieved that he was spending so much of his time absorbing the files in what room you could only guess was his study. You never woke up to him next to you in the bed again. If he was sleeping there beside you during some point in the night, at least you were never aware of it.

Even though you hardly saw Junko, his presence, the fact that he was still near, was always constant. The flash drive had stayed hidden in your purse. You’d through about putting the purse away, but thought better of it. If it was discovered, someone would be extremely curious as to why it was being hidden and most likely would go through it, ruining your golden hand.

Granted, having the flash drive was only part of the lineup. You needed to somehow get the drive to Junmyeon. But you were locked up in this stupid mansion, eyes watching you whether they were obvious or not. Servants and guards were constantly in passing by or glancing your way, taking in every move you made. Reflecting suspicion would be hard enough given your lack of poker face without you also trying to play super spy.

This morning at breakfast, however, you might have been given your chance.

“Junko wanted me to inform you that he’ll be out of the house most of the day, but will join you for dinner tonight.”

Looking up from your breakfast, you noticed Quan – one of Junko’s favorite guards – standing at the other end of the table. While he may have been high on Junko’s list of trusted associates, he had been a bit kinder to you than the others. Sure, that margin of kindness was slim, but a little could go a long way in your book.

You nodded. “Thank you, Quan.”

He bowed his head and left the dining hall.

The wheels in your head began to turn as you forced yourself to slowly finish up your breakfast. Scarfing it down might raise the alarms, sentencing you to your room before you’d gotten your chance. A weight was now gone, giving you a lighter feel as you thought about your next course of action. During the day, you’d usually waste away in front of the TV or walk around the pool in a pathetic attempt at some exercise. But now you could explore. Not out of wonder, but in order to find a possible computer or office where you could think of your next step. Getting in touch with Junmyeon might still be difficult, but you had to try.

Plate finally empty, you rose from your chair, and left the dining hall, a maid servant rushing behind you to clear the away the mess. Back in your room, you dug through your purse, fighting the urge to look over your shoulder every five seconds. With the flash drive now in your hand, you flipped it over continuously, contemplating where to hide it. Then you put it in the one place you knew you could get away with. The plastic poked at your skin, but it was perfectly hidden under your loose blouse, held in place by the cup of your bra. You cringed a little at the fact that you’d slipped it in there rather than your pocket, but you needed it in a place that couldn’t be seen even just by a glance.

You knew your time was limited. However, you still had to take it slow. Hightailing it straight to the study would get you in hot water. So, instead, you wandered the halls, poking your head into different rooms, pretending to just be exploring and familiarizing yourself with the house. You did this for about an hour or so, nodding to the maids as you passed them by, even stopping by the kitchen for a quick snack. Then, you gave in.

The door to the study squeaked as you slowly pushed it open, the hinges crying out desperately to be oiled back to perfection. Your heart was holding onto all your nervousness, releasing it only enough to pound in your ears. As quietly as you could, you walked across the thick carpet towards the imposing desk. No personal items decorated the area, making it seem more like a display at a furniture store or showroom rather than the office of a mafia leader who was proud of his family.

Slowly, you lowered yourself into the leather chair and turned to face the computer. Your jaw dropped.

The screen was open to the desktop, no locks or screensavers to prevent any unwanted eyes from skimming through its secrets. Was this a trap? Would Junko really leave himself vulnerable like this? He had to have turned off the sleep mode in order for it to still be up like this. Or the computer was recently used within the last fifteen minutes. But who else would have been in here?

You pushed the thought away. Right now, you needed to focus on sending the files to Junmyeon. Unfortunately, you didn’t know how to do that. There had to be some way to send it to his phone using only his number, right? Thank goodness you’d taken the time to memorize his number in case of emergencies.

You started to click on the internet icon to try and find a way to do that when a folder caught your eye labeled with your last name. Logic would have told you to hurry and find how to send the information to Junmyeon and then click on the folder. But logic hadn’t driven your actions for a long time.

Double clicking to open the folder, you were met with rows and rows of saved emails, screenshots, and even a few voice files, presumably from phone calls with your father. You clicked on one of the emails lower on the list, dated a few months before your parents’ death. Skimming over the paragraphs, you concluded that your father was wanting to back out on his deal with Junko’s father involving you marrying his son.

She’s my little girl, Lee. I watch her grow every day. I want her to live life the way she chooses. If she chooses Junko on her own, for good reasons, then I’ll let her go. But I prefer for her not to be involved in this life. When I look at her, I see all the possibilities, all the paths she could go down. I can’t limit her to a life of standing next to your son, surrounded by bodyguards and never able to go about how she pleases. That’s not a life. So, please, reconsider. I’m begging you.

Underneath that was simple, one sentence reply.

Deals are meant to be kept or there will be consequences.

Your father was one hundred percent right to be weary of the Lees. There was no doubt that Junko’s father meant his little warning.

That should have been where you stopped. That should have been where you closed the file and found a way to Junmyeon’s phone. But you didn’t. Because at the very bottom, the very last little square had that telltale triangle in the corner. What footage was being held behind that icon?

The curiosity was too strong to fight and you opened the file. It gave you one last chance to turn around, but you clicked play anyway.

Before you on the screen was footage from an old surveillance camera pointed at an intersection. Everything was fuzzy and age showed through the simple black and white images, but you could still recognize your parents standing under the streetlamp, waiting for the crosswalk signal to turn and allow them to continue on their way. It was dark, late at night, like the night your parents died.

As soon as the walking man was glowing, your father started to walk your mother across the way. Out the bottom of the screen, a black car zoomed into frame, striking your parents down and hitting them hard enough to send them flying back several feet. You gasped at the impact, trying to quiet the noise with your hand as you watched in horror.

After coming to a stop, the man in the car stepped out, walking casually over to your parents and checking each of their necks for a pulse. Satisfied with his work, he turned, waved at the camera and drove away scot-free.

They were murdered. Just like your father had assumed in his video. There never was a drunk driver who got scared and ran away. It was all deliberate. The man who you were now forced to live with was the son of the man who took your family away. Was that your curse? To constantly have your family, your safe space taken away from you by the Lee’s? Would you ever truly be free of them?

“All choices have consequences. Some a little harsher than others.”

You gasped and turned in the seat.

Junko was leaning up against the opened door, inspecting his fingernails. How did you not hear that squeaky door with his arrival?

“Your father was warned about what would happen if he went back on the deal,” Junko said, as if he were talking about a child being scolded for stealing a cookie from the forbidden jar. “He made his choice.”

“I am not a piece of property to be bargained with,” you spat. “And your father was a monster that-”

Junko charged forward, pushing your chair back until he hovered over you, a hand on each armrest to lock you in. Fear pulsed through you as his eyes bore down into yours. They were filled with fire and if you weren’t careful, you were going to burn up into ash.

Through clenched teeth, he hissed, “You don’t know anything about my father. He is the only reason that you even exist. Maybe you should learn from your father’s mistakes and be grateful for that fact.” Straightening up, he exited out of the folder and sighed. “Too bad you couldn’t pass my little test. Now you’ll have someone with you at all times. Especially at the party tomorrow night.”

“Party?” you gaped at him. “What party?”

“Oh, just a little function for the different families. A place for business deals and negotiations. I’ll have a dress and shoes for you tomorrow afternoon that I expect you to wear. Until then, perhaps you should just stay in our room, hm?” He headed out for the door, stopping just before the hallway to throw over his shoulder, “And remember: you’re never fully dressed without a smile.”

Junko kept his promise to keep you locked up in his room. Breakfast and lunch were brought to you on a trays, though you couldn’t really bring yourself to eat much of either meal. Your brain was too focused on what Junko had said. This party was supposed to be for the “families”. Being well versed in their lingo by now, you knew he was talking about the different mafia groups.

Which meant Junmyeon might be there.

Junko had warned that a guard would be on you at all times, but if the venue was crowded enough, you were sure you could manage to get away. The real trick would be getting the flash drive to the party in the first place.

When the dress and shoes arrived around one o’clock, you started to sweat. It was very much a dress meant to show you off, like a freaking trophy. Its golden chiffon cloth was shaped to cling to your every curve, the back fully exposed, the thinnest of straps holding it all together. You were already dreading having to wear it. But a little relief was granted when the maid said that the hair dresser wouldn’t be around for another few hours, giving you some more time to prepare.

There was nowhere in the dress for you to even think about hiding the drive. Your saving grace, however, was the shoes. Rather than the stick thin heels you’d been expecting, the dress came with a golden wedges. An idea that definitely was stolen from too many spy movies formulated in your head. Taking one of the heels, you shut yourself in the bathroom, searching for your razor. It was a struggle to break the plastic apart without cutting yourself, but eventually you got the blades free and turned to the shoe.

Slowly, you cut away at the bottom of the shoe, over and over again in a rough rectangle big enough to hold the drive in place. Soon enough, you were able to break through into the hollow space. Perfect.

Now rummaging through the cabinet under the sink, you pulled out the one box you were sure no one would ever think to look in. Before you moved in, a maid must have remembered that you would need certain products and had them stocked in the bathroom for you. While you hadn’t needed to open the box for that specific bodily function yet, you did find it handy in hiding the flash drive. It was an easy switch from the box to the wedge and the bottom was staying securely in place.

You barely made it back in time to pretend that you were just looking at the shoe when the hairdresser and her assistant – the same ones from your wedding day – entered the room without even knocking. You obeyed each request they had, closing your eyes when they asked, stopping your fidgeting when it became too much. Before you knew it, the torture was over.

Junko simply gave you a once over as you descended the stairs, approving with a curt nod before lending you his arm and escorting you to the car waiting outside. Apparently, the idea of being a happy couple in love – or maybe you just being a submissive wife – was beginning to fade from Junko’s mind. Or maybe he just had other more important things on his mind. Either way, you were happy as he left you alone to your own thoughts on the ride to the venue.

Secrecy was not a priority this time around from what you gathered.

The “party” was being held in one of the grand hotels of the city, valets waiting patiently outside to direct the drivers on where to park the cars while the guests were let out right in front of the grand stairs. Junko was quick to jump out of the car, rounding it to help you out as well. Neither of you smiled or acknowledged any other patrons as you ascended the stairs and entered the hotel.

The ballroom occupied the entire twelfth floor, even sporting balconies on each side. Over a hundred people were already milling about the space, chatting and sizing each other up in small gatherings as they sipped at the drinks in their hands. Junko dragged you from group to group, introducing you as his wife and smirking when someone recognized your name. Yes, he’d finally gotten what he wanted, but if you had anything to say about it, he wouldn’t have much to brag about for too much longer.

While Junko was feigning laughter at an older gentleman’s terrible joke, your eyes were scanning the crowds, searching desperately for Junmyeon. Then your heart sped up.

Towering over a majority of the crowd was a familiar crop of firetruck red hair.

Chanyeol!

You had to bite down on your bottom lip to keep yourself from screaming out for the gentle giant who’d promised to keep you safe. As much as you wanted it, him marching over here and snatching you away wasn’t the brightest move. Besides, you wanted – no, you needed to see Junmyeon.

One by one, shuffling through the crowd, you saw each of the boys, save their leader. None of them were talking or laughing with the other families. They seemed more like zombies, just wandering the floor, careful not to bump into anyone. Where was-

There!

You barely caught a glimpse of Junmyeon sneaking out onto the left side balcony. You needed to get to him, but how did you lose the guard whose eyes were glued to the back of your head?

Cradling your lower stomach, you scrunched your face up as if you were in pain. “Junko,” you whispered, adding a groan into your tone. “I don’t feel well.”

“You’re not going home,” he hissed quietly, still maintaining the welcoming smile on his face.

“Just five minutes in the bathroom,” you pleaded.

His eyes flickered to one of the guards and then he nodded. “Fine. Five minutes.”

Quan ended up being the one to follow you to the bathroom. Any warm feelings you’d had towards him were long gone after he lied to you about Junko being out of the house. But you didn’t run away from him, keeping close until you reached the women’s restroom. It was located in a small enclave near the back of the ballroom, out of the way and easily hidden. You watched Quan back up so he wasn’t blocking the narrow entrance from others who wished to use the wash rooms before pushing open the door.

Once alone, you didn’t know what to do from there. You needed to hurry before Junmyeon left the balcony and your chance was missed. Then your opportunity came in the form a group of women who all entered the bathroom at the same time, laughing about their wonderful luck in dates tonight. You stepped out of the way as they took over the mirror space, primping and fixing their hair and makeup, which wasn’t out of place to begin with from what you could tell.

When they were done, you made your move.

Crowding in as closely as you could to them, you tried to blend in and go unseen as you all exited the bathroom. Walking past Quan without your name being called or pulled out of the group seemed to mean that it worked.

Once you were far enough away from the restrooms, you split off from the group, squeezing through to the other side of the crowd until you reached the same door that Junmyeon had passed through. He was still there on that balcony, leaning his forearms against the railing as his head hung low from his shoulders.

“Junmyeon!” You couldn’t stop yourself from running towards him. At the sound of his name, he turned around, shock dropping his jaw and widening his eyes as you threw your arms around him and buried your face in his chest. But while you held your vice tight around him, he never lifted his arms to hug you back. Looking up at him, you frowned. “Junmyeon?”

Composing his face and releasing a heavy sigh, Junmyeon gripped your arms and gently pushed you away. “What are you doing here, (y/n)?”

You pulled your eyebrows together, unable to understand why he was acting this way. “Junko brought me, probably to-”

“I didn’t mean here at the hotel,” he interrupted. “I meant out here? You should be inside with your husband. He wouldn’t want other people to talk.”

Was that what this was? An attempt to avoid arousing attention. Shaking your head, you took off your wedged heel and pulled out the homemade compartment. “Listen. My father put the real files on this drive. He had fake files made, the ones I gave to Junko. You can take this drive while Junko thinks he has the real ones. That should give you plenty of time.” You held out the small plastic device for him to take, but he didn’t.

His eyes were down on your open palm, his face unreadable. When he finally met your own gaze, he said, “Go back inside, (y/n). Junko will come looking for you soon.”

You dropped your hand to your side. How could he act so distant all of a sudden? “What is going on with you? I’m trying to give you what you’ve wanted this whole time. To help you. Did he… do something to you?”

“A man recognizes when he’s lost, (y/n).”

“You haven’t lost!” you yelled. “Why are you giving up?”

“Because he knows it’s useless.” Junko walked up behind you, snaking an arm around your waist and pulling you in close. With his other hand, he forced your fist open and took the drive, giving you a kiss on the cheek before putting it away in his pocket.

Junmyeon stayed stone face through the whole thing. “Congratulations, Junko.”

“Just like school, Junmyeon,” Junko purred. “Some things never change. I’m glad to know you’ve finally learned that.”

Taking a few steps forward so he was now nearly shoulder to shoulder with you, Junmyeon whispered, “Just accept the hand you’ve been dealt. Perhaps, it was always meant to go this way.” Leaving you with that, he walked back inside.

You tried to turn around to go after him, but Junko kept you firmly by his side.

“Quan?” he called out. “Take (y/n) home. I think everyone here is now fully aware of the power I hold.”

With a tight grip on your arm, Quan pulled you away and back into the ballroom. He didn’t glance at you once as he all but dragged you out of the hotel. You huffed when he put you in the back seat of the car, crossing your arms.

You were so confused. What happened to all those promises to protect you? To always come for you when you called out to him? Were they really all so empty? Were they the true definition of sweet nothings? You’d put so much faith in him, relied on the fact that you thought he would come to your rescue. Never would you have imagined that he would just stare at the physical manifestation of his ultimate goal. The goal he’d originally took you in for. How could he let it go so easily? How could he let you go without so much as a fight?

As soon as you were alone in your room, you shuffled over to the window, still in a daze. The moon shined down from the cloudless sky, giving you enough light to see by. You fell down to your knees, staying like that for a second before shifting back so you could bring your knees up to your chest.

And I promise you this: whenever you ask for me, I’ll be there.

You scoffed. “You’re a liar, Kim Junmyeon.”

The tears began to flow down your face and you didn’t bother to try and stop them. Instead, burying your face in your knees while the world that you thought you knew came crashing down around you.

#exo #exo fanfic #exo fanfiction #exo mafia au #exo mafia!au #junmyeon x reader #kim junmyeon #suho #exo gang au #exo gang!au #exo series #exo scenarios #Sins of the Father

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itsomgitsgreenblogging · 6 years

Text

Break My Heart: Chapter 13 (A Solangelo Fanfic)

LAST CHAPTER

I kind of can’t believe it. This fic was pretty much my singular project for 2017, and I put my heart and soul into it. Thank you so much to everyone who supported me in this endeavor, and look out for more projects in the PJO fandom (and possible a Nico POV companion fic).

Enjoy!

Read Completed on AO3

Read Completed On Tumblr: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12

Preview:

“It’s going to be alright. Who’s to say you haven’t already changed the future?” Cecil offered hopefully, giving Will’s shoulders a comforting squeeze.

“Maybe it’s like Achilles and the whole two fates thing. Maybe you’ve already chosen what path you’re going to go down,” Lou Ellen said as she went to grab tissues and give them to Will. Will gratefully received them and blew his nose.

“How did that end up for Achilles again?” Cecil asked worriedly.

“Uh, he died.”

“Oh. Great. Nothing to worry about then?” Cecil said, his voice raising to make the statement almost a question.

“I’m doomed,” Will said miserably, putting his face in his hands.

Will woke up to the sound of giggling.

This wasn’t entirely new to him, but the fact that it only got worse as he stirred was cause for alarm. At first he groggily swatted at his eyes, as if that would dispel the gigglers. However, that seemed to only make the giggles stronger. Will finally opened his eyes, and was face to face with Clovis laying in the next bed. Will yelped in surprise, fell off the bed, and realized there was something on his face and shirt.

Will glared and saw Harley, Heather from Iris Cabin, and Rudy from Hecate Cabin (three of the youngest campers still remaining at camp) burst into laughter as Alice and Julia from Hermes cabin looked on with appreciation. Nico was stifling his own laughter and Will walked over and got a good look at himself in the mirror. He understood the laughter. They had drawn whiskers on his face in eyeliner, someone had connected the dots on his cheek and dashed on blue glitter to form what looked like a Jackson Pollock painting. His shirt was lined with Dora the Explorer stickers.

“Haha very funny guys,” Will told them flatly before eyeing Nico who sat primly on his bed and spat out. “You said I should lie down and take a nap and you have let me be rudely awoken. Oath-breaker.”

“Get wrecked,” was Nico’s succinct reply.

“Oh come on Will, it’s funny,” Julia said with a giggle. “Just a harmless little prank.”

“Prank? Prank? How am I going to get this glitter off my—”

Will pulled down his shirt to emphasize the stickers, when he saw a blue flash on his fingers. He stared at them, at the very familiar blue nail polish that now adorned them. Will felt the blood drain out of his face in an instant.

“Oh no.”

“Oh no, oh no oh no oh no,” Will said as he desperately as he paced back and forth in Lou Ellen’s cabin. Hecate Cabin looked like the inside of what Will imagined a witch’s hut would. Herbs were hanging and drying, making the air fragrant. There was a work table laden with tools, the bunk beds looked as if they were twisting out of tree trunks. Books lined the walls, papers with hand written spells were stuffed into every available space. Unlike the latent skills of people like Will or Percy Jackson, Hecate demanded that her children work hard and study for great power. The harder they worked and practiced, the better the magic. Will appreciated that about the goddess. It was better than the genetic lottery.

“I thought you said you were okay with this!” Lou Ellen said, half-concerned and half-exasperated, moving a tiny bedside table with candles on it so Will wouldn’t knock into it during his pacing. Candle-making was one of Lou Ellen’s hobby, and Will would have been even more beside himself to wreck her projects.

“I totally lied, I’m not okay with this, I’m not okay at all,” Will said before holding up his hands. “Are you seeing this?”

“Yeah, it’s blue nail polish,” Lou Ellen told him evenly.

“Yeah, the nail polish from my dream! I had nail polish on in my dream! Which means my dream is going to happen soon, really really soon. And I’m really really not okay with that,” Will bemoaned as he sank down on an empty bunk. “And I thought everything was going so well. We kissed, and we were flirting, and we were having so much fun together and I don’t want this to end. I don’t want to break up with Nico.”

“Maybe you should take it off?” Lou Ellen offered.

“How long does nail polish last?” Will asked nervously.

“I don’t know? A week, maybe two depending on the brand.”

“Then I can’t take it off! This is the only thing telling me how much time I have left.”

At that moment Cecil burst into the room, his usual cheer was gone. He looked madder than a wet hen.

“I really gave it to Julia and Alice, Gods I can’t believe they did that. Pranks are all fun and good but it is against cabin policy to utilize other people’s powers to do them especially when they can’t consent. They actually moved Clovis out of his hammock! And of course, Conner isn’t going to tell them no,” Cecil said before looking at Will, his anger turning into alarm. “Will, are you crying?”

“Yes,” Will answered, rubbing away his frustrated tears. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“No Will, don’t cry,” Lou Ellen half-begged him as she cupped his cheeks. Cecil sat down next to him and slung his arm over Will’s shoulder. “It’s okay, we’re going to figure this out somehow.”

“It’s going to be alright. Who’s to say you haven’t already changed the future?” Cecil offered hopefully, giving Will’s shoulders a comforting squeeze.

“How did that end up for Achilles again?” Cecil asked worriedly.

“Uh, he died.”

“Oh. Great. Nothing to worry about then?” Cecil said, his voice raising to make the statement almost a question.

“I’m doomed,” Will said miserably, putting his face in his hands. “I’m doomed. I ran out of the infirmary—what if Nico thinks I’m mad at him? What if that’s why we break up? I need to go back and—”

“Will, breathe,” Lou Ellen demanded of him. The electric kettle clicked as it finished boiling, and she got up. She quickly placed a homemade bag of tea mix in a chipped mug, measured out honey and cream, before shoving it in Will’s hands. “Drink that, Hecate cabin’s signature calming tea mix. I’m going to mix up all sorts of spells. Cecil, I’m probably going to need you to get some things.”

“Okie dokie,” Cecil said, springing up and saluting her before turning to Will. “We’ll fix this somehow, Will. Don’t you give up hope, okay? Somehow we’ve made it through so much, and it was because you had our backs. It’s time that we had yours.”

“You guys…” Will half-choked. His heart was brimming—no overflowing with love for these two dorks. He felt the place where his power came from, where the sunlight that spilled from inside of him, respond to the sudden wave of emotion. He gave them both a tearful smile. “I love you guys. No matter what anyone may say, you guys are the best.”

“Don’t we know it?” Lou Ellen said, while Cecil just smiled back.

Will ended up leaving Lou Ellen’s cabin after the sun had dipped down past the horizon. Will was holding a jar of potpourri that Lou Ellen had made up for him. Will stopped on his way to his cabin, unable to help ducking into the pavilion. He looked to the offering table, the goblets and the flowers. Will placed the jar on the table and lit a candle.

“Are you there Dad? It’s me Will,” he opened up before laughing. “Yeah, yeah I know bad reference. But I guess that’s all I have right now. I just thought that maybe since this is sort of the end of the line I should probably talk…or pray to you or whatever.”

“I’m going out with Nico di Angelo now. I know you met him at some point, but he’s really amazing. And I’m not just saying that. He’s strong and he’s actually really kind but he doesn’t want anyone knowing it. And he’s considerate, and he’s a total dork. He’s a little creepy too but that’s part of the charm. It’s a son of Hades thing I’m pretty sure,” Will said with a laugh. “And I’ve been having fun every day since we started going out, like so much fun. Nico’s funny and he’s really awesome to just hang out with. Gods, he’s got a great sense of humor. And we—we just sort of get each other. It’s not like one of those things you have to work for, when you really just get a person. And I feel like, it’s starting to all become real. Like we can make something real out of this thing we have together as long as we are together. But I had this dream…Dad. A prophetic dream, one that told me that Nico was going to break up with me. And I don’t want it to be true, because I don’t want it all to end like that. Not when it’s all just beginning. Not when there’s like a whole relationship to have.”

Will took a deep breath, steadying himself against the table. When he felt like he had the strength, he straightened up.

“Dad, I know I’m probably one of the last people on the whole planet you actually care about. I know that. I’ve never asked you any favors, not in my entire sixteen years. I’ve never asked you for special treatment or anything. Maybe that’s been my problem, you only help those who help preen your feathers and I haven’t been willing to do it. Well you know what? I’m ready now. Hit me with your requests, but in return you have to give me the truth behind this dream. Behind this prophecy. What even is the point of it? Why would I get it? Maybe just talk to me? Tell me…something? Anything? I’m really open to anything at this point if I’m being real. So just lay it all on me, Dad. Hit me with your infinite godly wisdom or something, I actually have no idea how that all works but I’m really open to anything. So just…go ahead I guess?”

Will offered up jazz hands to the table. Nothing particularly magical happened, nor did Will feel any change to himself. After a few moments of waiting around for nothing, Will sighed and ran a hand through his curls.

“Alright. Radio silence. I guess we can’t all be important demigods who get gods to notice them all the time,” Will commented before wincing at how that came out. He hadn’t meant to sound as bitter as he did. “Well, I tried. But just know, I’m here if you ever change your mind.”

Will left the dining pavilion in much the same mood he had gotten there, with seemingly nothing accomplished besides having the sound of silence ringing in his ears.

That night Will didn’t get to sleep right away, which wasn’t normal for him. Will tended to start getting tired the moment the sun sunk underneath the horizon. But instead he tossed and turned on his cot for a while, trying to get comfortable and not being successful. Eventually at some point he must of drifted off out of sheer lateness and exhaustion, but when that was Will had no clue.

That night Will didn’t have any dreams about Nico. Instead Will had a dream about a falling star. A vivid and disconcerting dream that did little to give him restful sleep. In his dream Will was watching that falling star streak across a winter’s sky, a bright burst against the seam of night. Instead of the usual feelings of wonder that should have accompanied such a sight, Dream Will instead had an acute sense of dread as he watched it trail and disappear in the light of the city as if it had never been in the first place.

“Weird,” Kayla noted sitting next to him on the steps of Cabin Seven, she was bundled up and had been sipping hot chocolate from a mug with foxes on it, however she drew the mug away from her lips as she stared up as if the sky had just perplexed her with a bizarre question. Her hair was dyed green, but parts of her natural red roots were beginning to show.

“I have a bad feeling about that,” Austin mumbled as he buried his chin more firmly in his wool scarf and ducked further into his pea coat, rubbing his arms as if to protect himself from something more than just the cold. He had placed his own mug next to him and left it wafting steam into the winter air, and continued to look up and search for the star that had disappeared. “I don’t know if it’s an omen, but whatever it is I get the feeling it certainly isn’t good.”

“Same here,” Dream Will said, craning his neck up as he continued to look at that sky that somehow looked slightly dimmer without the radiance of that fallen star. He hoped it was nothing, but he knew that in the life of a demigod that was often too much to hope for. “Same here.”

“Are you mad at me?”

It was Nico’s question as they stood by the target practice. Will ogled at Nico, the suddenness of the question taking him really off guard. It was a sort of cloudy day, the kind of day that always made Will feel sluggish. The sky was grey and lift everything with a dreary tinge. Will was making the most of the UV that he could get, turning his face up often to the sky.

“Mad at you? Why?” Will asked, confused and concerned.

“Yesterday you sort of ran out of the infirmary,” Nico explained as he lined up his shot with the bow. He took the shot with confidence and ended up in the blue ring, which was a pretty decent shot if you asked Will. Nico looked dissatisfied, as he lowered his bow and looked towards Will. “I didn’t know that was going to upset you as much as it would. I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay, honestly,” Will lied. “I was just flustered is all. I wasn’t mad at you. If anything it was Alice and Julia, but they are always like that. And of course, Conner can’t be asked to reign them in.”

“Are you sure?” Nico said with a suspicious sideways glance, not looking convinced at all.

“Very sure, I promise.”

“Okay then,” Nico said with a sigh that sounded relieved, and that made Will’s heart twist in his chest.

“I’m sorry I worried you like that,” Will told him.

“Why? You don’t have to be worried about me, I’m fine,” Nico said as he strung another arrow in the bow. His posture was a little off and his stance was closed. Will reached to give Nico’s leg a tap to remind him to move his feet to balance better. Nico did so automatically, and gave another shot. He was still in the blue ring, but the shot had looked much better.

“You’re getting better at this,” Will commented.

“When you are getting tutored by children of Apollo you ought to hope you would be,” Nico scoffed as he rolled his shoulders. “I’ll keep to my sword though.”

“Sort of a shame, you give me a run for my money with the bow,” Will said as he lined up his shot. He took a steadying breath and let the arrow fly. It hit off center in the red, and Will cracked his neck as he appraised the shot. It wasn’t too bad considering his history with archery, though it was always annoying that he could never seem to get better considering he was a son of the god of archery himself.

Will’s thoughts were immediately broken by the feeling of Nico’s hands on his shoulders and pulling him backwards. Will staggered his feet, trying to stand and turn his head to look at Nico’s expression, which was very annoyed as he looked down at him.

“What are you doing?” Will squeaked. It was weird seeing Nico from this angle, not that Will really minded it one bit. Though Nico was handsome short, he would probably look equally handsome tall. Nico would probably look good any which way frankly.

“You’re tall and it’s annoying me for some reason today,” Nico told him bluntly.

“I’m really sorry?” Will offered nervously and Nico let him go, looking very dissatisfied with Will’s answer. Will stood back up, thankful to regain his bearing before looking to Nico apologetically. “I’m no good am I? I guess it would help you better to get tips from someone who’s around your height right? And not to mention someone who’s better at archery than I am.”

Nico didn’t answer immediately but instead caught his arm. Will turned to face him, and Nico grabbed his chin. Nico pulled him down firmly, looking him right in the eye without any hesitation. Will couldn’t help the shiver that ran up his spine.

“I don’t like it when you talk bad about yourself,” Nico told him pointedly, though from his tone it sounded more like an order.

“You talk bad about yourself sometimes,” Will reminded him somewhat weakly.

“If you dislike it as much as I dislike this then I won’t do it as much,” Nico told Will. Will leaned down and kissed Nico, catching Nico’s next words with his mouth.

Nico’s traced the length of Will’s neck with his fingers, the coolness of his touch sending goosebumps rippling across his skin. Will closed the distance in an instant. They kissed chastely, Will curling his arms around Nico’s waist to bring him as close as possible while Nico’s fingers combed through his hair. He tugged, and Will gasped. Kissing Nico was like nothing else, it was utterly thrilling. He wanted to be able to kiss him all the time, to have Nico’s kisses burn his skin and mark him—scar him so he would never forget the feeling of Nico’s affection even if Nico left him.

And then Will felt the tentative brush of Nico’s tongue against his own.

Oh my god, tongue, tongue, Will thought half-shocked, half-delighted. He was nearly giddy. He was making out with Nico, Nico was making out with him and they were kissing with tongue. Will couldn’t even believe it—

Will heard a noise, which on second thought was obviously his siblings coming back towards the shooting range from the bathrooms. Nico flinched and Will felt pain burst over his tongue as Nico bit down. Will yelped, slapped a hand over his mouth, and doubled over. There wasn’t any blood, thank goodness, but it was mostly the surprise of it that had Will reeling.

“Oh my Gods, Will, I’m so sorry!” Nico said as he knelt by Will.

“It’s okay…I’m okay,” Will promised him weakly.

“Holy crap, did you try to beat up our brother?” Kayla asked half-amused and half-worried as Kayla and Austin rushed to Will’s side. Will gave his siblings a watery, but amused look, while Nico spluttered and gasped.

“And he won,” Will said if only to tease Nico, removing his hand from his mouth after running his tongue over his teeth to assure that everything was in working order. Nico scoffed and rolled his eyes with a blush. “Nico always wins.”

“Shut up, dork,” Nico said with a sigh, offering his hand to help Will up. Will took it gratefully, squeezing his fingers to assure himself that he wouldn’t disappear.

“What in tarnation—?” Will demanded as he walked into his cabin the next day. He had been moderating a cabin dialogue between Hephaestus and Demeter cabins, to resolve an ongoing issue about scorching daisies. When he had left earlier, the cabin had been in the usual working order. But now he wasn’t even sure he was in the right place.

“Did you actually say ‘what in tarnation’ or did I just have a stroke?” Kayla asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Kayla! Austin!” Will said, walking into a fake cobweb and swatting it away from his face. “What is this?”

“Halloween decorations, duh?” Austin asked as he moved and a dancing skeleton began belting out the monster mash. “I don’t remember you being such a Scrooge, Will.”

“First off, Scrooge is Christmas. Secondly, I said moderate decorations, what about this is moderate?” Will asked as he nearly knocked over a witch into her cauldron, shaking some hay out of his boots. “Seriously, guys, are you just trying to screw with me? What have you done to my plants?”

Will gathered up Al (his aloe plant) and rubbed its pot. The plant itself was fine, but stuck in the dirt was minitombstones, and on the pot itself was shimmery spider-webs and ghosts. He gave his siblings a look before placing down his plant down next to its siblings among the black cats and mini-pumpkins. The windows were covered with Halloween window-stickers, and the bunks were all strung up with orange pumpkin lights.

“We just decorated them,” Austin told him with a huff.

“Seriously? Today of all days?” Will asked, relatively heated. Both Kayla and Austin flinched at Will’s tone, but Will didn’t necessarily care. “And you guys realize that Halloween is like, a Celtic thing right? Different pagan religion right? Do you want to get us struck down? How did you guys even manage all of this while I was gone?”

“We had a little help,” Kayla said slowly.

“Who?” Will asked suspiciously.

The cabin door swung open to reveal Paolo who smiled at them, he was carrying a box bursting with still more Halloween direction. Kayla fluttered her eyelashes, smiled, and waved at him. He said something in Portuguese, placed down the box and then left.

“No,” Will said pointing at Kayla, positively livid at this point. “No.”

“Oh come on Will, you can’t be the only one allowed to ogle at Paolo!” Kayla whined at him with a pout. “He’s basically a work of art!”

“No!” Will said, still pointing at Kayla, trying to feel for the door behind him.

“But Will—”

“No! You are not allowed to flirt with Paolo,” Will informed Kayla as he finally grabbed the door handle. “Now excuse me while I go introduce my foot to his ass!”

“No, Will, don’t embarrass me!”

“Consider it already done!” Will warned her, walking out and slamming the door behind him.

Will stomped forward, trying to figure out the logistics of giving a shovel talk to someone who didn’t speak the same language as him. In fact, the only English Paolo seemed to know was “Yes” and “No”, “Please and Thank You” and the title sequence of Law and Order SVU. He wasn’t sure that wild gesticulating would cut it, nor did he think that Paolo would get it. Was there different body language signs for things in different countries? Will was suddenly seized by the thought. Well, he had never left the USA so he didn’t know and he didn’t speak any language fluently besides English. Will could read ancient Greek but other than that he had nothing. He guessed there probably must have been, but there was some universal signs of disapproval that he could certainly use to intimidate Paolo. Though that was unlikely, considering that Will wasn’t particularly intimidating himself.

“Woah, Will, what’s going on?” Nyssa asked him as they ran across each other.

“Paolo is flirting with my sister, or my sister is flirting with Paolo. I don’t know either way, and still I’m distressed,” Will told her as he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.

“Clearly,” Nyssa said as she observed him. “But can Paolo even flirt with Kayla? Paolo doesn’t speak English.”

“Does it matter? There is some sort of canoodling happening and I don’t like it.”

“Why? All the hot boys in the camp don’t belong to you, Will,” Nyssa cackled.

“Well they should,” Will said haughtily. “I don’t want to deal with this today. Really I don’t.”

“Is that Will Solace I hear, talking about boys?” asked Mitchell from Aphrodite cabin as he crossed across the green from where he and his cabin mates had finished playing a round of volley boy.

“Hold your horses, I am not commenting on any rumors in the Aphrodite Cabin rumor mill. No thank you,” Will said, holding up his arms like an x. “I’m pleading the fifth. I’m just trying to find Paolo so I can get him to stop bringing Halloween stuff to my dorm.”

“Do they even celebrate Halloween in Brazil?” asked Mitchell curiously, his big doe eyes on the both of them in curiosity. Will had always liked Mitchell, he could be sort of a pushover, but he was steady at heart and would do what was right. At the same time he would not like to be getting on Mitchell’s radar with the Nico situation still being hushed.

“Day of the Dead maybe,” Nyssa said with a shrug. “He’s probably getting into the spirit for his first American Halloween.”

“So Paolo isn’t just popping in to…you know, scope out the availability?” Mitchell asked, half-curious and half-egging Will on.

“What availability?” Will asked, knowing he shouldn’t.

“Yours!”

“Me? My sister was making googly eyes at him, not me—okay strike that, I have made googly eyes at him but only to check on his healing, he has a penchant for ending up in my infirmary,” Will told Mitchell with a sigh.

“He is pretty good looking,” Nyssa said with a shrug. “If di Angelo wasn’t so obvious, I would say Paolo would be a cute boy to date.”

“Wha—what?” Will spluttered out in shock, in spite of himself and the fact he was actually going out with Nico and very pleased about it, he blushed very obviously. This only seemed to spur Mitchell’s excitement on.

“I know right?” Mitchell squealed excitedly. “Will, Nico’s so into you. You have got to start going out, though he is kind of scary. But seriously Will, who? Is it a girl? A boy? Both? Who’s your—”

Interestingly enough, Mitchell’s words died on his lips and ended with a squeak. Will turned around, only to see Nico standing a bit off to the side. He was looking at Mitchell and Nyssa so intensely that it looked as if he was looking through their skin and bones.

“Hey Nico,” Will greeted as pleasantly as possible, despite the fact his own skin was crawling from Nico’s black, dark stare as it turned on him. Will swore he could see an eternity in that gaze, and it was an eternity spent somewhere unpleasant. Mitchell shrank back, obviously terrified. Nyssa held her breath.

“Come with me,” Nico said shortly, grabbing Will’s arm. It wasn’t a harsh grip, just adamant. Will gave Mitchell and Nyssa an apologetic look before allowing Nico to pull him away. Will let Nico pull him away, a bit, until they were at Nico’s cabin which was far enough away from the others that they had a modicum of privacy.

“Nico, talk to me,” Will said as he touched Nico’s hand on his arm. “It’s okay. I’m sure if we go back, they’d apologize to you.”

“They were talking about you,” Nico said tersely, his expression unreadable. “I didn’t like how they were talking about you.”

“About me?” Will asked, confused. “You mean, about who I like? Nico, I like you. I don’t like anyone else.”

“I know that,” Nico said harshly, his breath coming out almost like a growl. “I know.”

“Then what’s wrong?” Will continued to probe, seeing turmoil cracking from under Nico’s expression.

“It felt like they were spreading rumors about you.”

“About me? I’m not really a hot topic here at CHB,” Will said, blinking rapidly.

“Are you kidding me?” Nico asked with a raised eyebrow. “Really? What kind of mirror are you looking in?”

Will rocked back on his heels. He was mostly taken aback by the implication of what Nico was saying. Talking as if Will was the hot one in this relationship, which, obviously Nico was but…

“I can tell from your face that you don’t believe me,” Nico surmised surprisingly quick.

“It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. I only care about your feelings right now. What are you feeling?” Will asked him, honestly having no clue on what to feel. Nico’s jaw worked as he closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. When he opened his eyes again, the crawly-cold-pressure was gone. His eyes were once again reflective.

“I feel like I’m…ugh this is going to sound so stupid,” Nico said as he scrubbed at his face. “There was this time I was playing…Mythomagic with Frank.”

“You play Mythomagic?” Will asked, surprised.

“I mean…yes,” Nico said after a painfully uncomfortable pause. He rubbed his hands together, but as far as Will could tell it was more to comfort himself instead of from the cold. “Well…anyways. We were playing and doing the standard attack-defense kind of play. You know—or I don’t know—uh, he had an Athena—3000 attack, plus 100 knowledge on the field, and he had activated a Golden Fleece—which lets you retrieve three cards from the graveyard and adds 200+ health. Anyways, I had played Aphrodite which though she only have 1000 attack can use “charm” so it lets you turn over all the cards in your opponent’s hand. So I saw Frank’s hand, and he had a really good one. He had a Pegasus equip and a Hercules and even a Cerberus. Then of course he had a dryad which is like, 50 attack 50 defense and a nature bonus. And I thought I had his moves figured out. With his hand I would equip the Athena with Pegasus, put Cerberus on defense, and then attack me. But…instead of doing what I expected he played the dryad in offense for some reason. It was so weird and I just couldn’t figure out why he did that and even though the game continued on past that it was the only thing I could think of. I could not understand why or how or for what purpose.”

“And is that how you feel about me?” Will offered, searching Nico’s face for the answer.

“No, that’s how I feel about me and my feelings. I’m just all over the place right now,” Nico said with a sigh before turning to the door of his cabin. “I just…I’ll talk to you later. I just need to think about everything for a bit.”

Nico turned and entered into his cabin without another word. Will gathered himself up as much as possible and left Cabin 13 in favor of his own. But seeing it was a Haunted Horror Night, Will just gathered up his blanket and went out to find some peace and quiet as far away from the docks as possible. The dryads gave him a look as he entered the strawberry fields, but among the rows he found a spot and lay himself down for a nap. He must have fallen asleep at some point, because when he was stirred he found his siblings laying on his oversized blanket with him.

“Hey, you okay?” Kayla asked him and Will looked over at where she was laying, head turned away from Will green-red hair splayed on the blanket. It was sort of bizarre though it was autumn elsewhere, the camp’s magic was particularly strong over the strawberry fields where the sun felt strong and hot and syrupy against his skin.

“I’m alright. I had words with Nico. I think he might be mad, or upset. He couldn’t really explain it, but he isn’t mad at me. So, I guess that’s something,” Will said as he lifting his hand to gaze at his blue painted nails. He let his hand fall limp at his side.

“You guys are your drama,” Austin muttered from where he was curled up on his side, close to Will but not quite touching.

“We’ll get through it, I just have to believe in that,” Will told him.

“Lee totally would’ve said something like that,” Kayla grumbled.

“Michael would have grumbled about it,” Austin told her, a smile in his voice, but his shoulders were slumped sadly. “I miss them.”

“Me too,” Will told them.

“Can you believe it’s been years? It feels…it feels like just yesterday. It pisses me off,” Kayla told both of them her voice quiet. “I want to punch both of them. And then hug them. Really hard.”

“Hug? Or punch?” Will asked, and both Kayla and Austin laughed.

Their laughter trailed off into quiet. There was only the sound of birds, the wind through the strawberry bushes, the distant buzz of insects to accompany them. Will didn’t think that there was a good answer to any of this. But huddled together on their blanket, just for a moment Will felt as if they were the only ones in the world, floating together down a stream with no direction. Will figured that sometimes wallowing in that pool was the best solution they could come up with.

“Sorry about the cabin,” Austin finally said.

“I’m not really mad about it. Lee and Michael would want us to be doing fun stuff like that, as often as possible,” Will promised him. “They’d certainly cackle to see my feathers rustled. No harm no foul. I love you guys, even when you drive me crazy.”

“Yeah,” Kayla said, with a small sniff. “Yeah. If he breaks up with you, that’ll be his loss. Because you’re the best.”

“Nah, you guys are the best,” Will told them, closing his eyes and smiling.

“Will, could you come? Quickly?” Harley asked nervously. He looked pale and panicked, and though Will never liked seeing anyone in distress, but especially little kids. Will pulled away from the desk and stood up.

“Is something wrong?” Will asked as he gathered up his emergency kit began jogging with him.

They were on the edge of the lake with some other campers. Alice was crying, holding her hand which had been pierced with a fishing hook. Over on the side a naiad was laying down with her leg raised and her foot bent in a strange direction while her sisters all hissed at the campers from a safe distance away.

Will quickly dealt with the fish hook, sending only a glimmer of his power in and wrapped Alice’s hand while giving her a lecture about respecting the mythical creatures of CHB. He also dealt with the naiad, who he apologized profusely to for the trouble, and hoped that she and her sisters wouldn’t feel privy to drowning any campers that he would need to revive.

Exhausted, Will sat back on the dock like he had down a million times before. The autumn breeze crisp and clean as it flitted from the lake carrying with it the scent mist and strawberry. The sky was almost blindingly bright and blue, while the trees were just tinged with just a blush of color. Will blinked, and blinked once again as a particular fluffy cloud had him searching for answers. It all looked familiar. Very, very familiar. Déjà vu creeped across his skin, raising his hair.

“Hey, can I sit?”

Will turned his head, seeing Nico. He was wearing his leather jacket, looking healthy and whole, and yet slightly worried.

“Yeah, of course,” Will said, patting the dock next to him. He wanted to say no. To say he couldn’t, to run away, but he wanted to meet this head on. For both their sakes. They sat together for a while, not saying anything. Will reached out, touching Nico’s hand with his. Nico looked up, surprised, before turning his hand over so that their fingers curled together.

“Will…I…”

“Am I…is this…alright?” Will asked nervously, the words just coming out. He felt like his face was burning, like he was about to throw up.

“Hey Will?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t think we should do this anymore,” Nico said, looking at him, looking through him. But Will noticed that he didn’t pull away from Will’s touch.

“Do what?” Will asked him, feeling like he was choking.

“This ducking around corners thing…I…” Nico said, seemingly struggling with how to explain he feelings, before meeting Will’s eyes. “I want to come out, I want to come out as your boyfriend. I’m not ashamed of you, and I don’t want you to feel like I am.”

Will wasn’t sure what Nico was expecting of him, but when Will reached out to cup Nico’s face he nearly flinched. Will looked at Nico in wonder, admiring him, unsure of how they had gotten to this point but half sure that this was a dream. Nico melted into Will’s touch, allowing him to press a kiss to the top of his head and pull him into a hug.

“I know you aren’t,” Will said as he hugged Nico tightly. “I never felt that way. I like you and I’m with you, no matter what.”

“I like you too, Will,” Nico said, muffled against Will’s flannel, his arms holding Will tight.

“Can we just stay like this maybe,” Will said with a content sigh. “You are a perfectly huggable size.”

“Wait—what—” Nico demanded with an insulted squawk. He tried yank Will away, but Will was so entangled with him, that they both ended up crashing into the cold water. Nico spat water at him, and growled swears at Will as he lifted Nico up and dunked him once more, but Will couldn’t have minded less.

“You guys are so dumb,” Lou Ellen told them as they ended up in the infirmary later on, both with a wicked cold. Cecil was heating up soup while his siblings ran around and tried to deal with some wounded campers, Ellis was recuperating along with Nyssa from a nasty fight in the training arena as Billie Ng fretted over her, Chiron was reading the paper over by the desk.

“This would be my boyfriend’s fault, not mine,” Nico said, grumpy, ruffled, and looking out from the pile of blankets he had buried himself under.

“Losers,” Ellis grumbled under his breath, but looked somewhat pleased. Nyssa smiled and Billie jabbed her under the ribs. His siblings looked at each other and slapped high fives.

“This I can’t argue,” Will said with a wide grin.

Chiron just hummed, turned the page, and smiled.

#Solangelo #Solangelo fanfiction #Will Solace #Nico di Angelo

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fandomflail · 7 years

Text

title: Recognition (3/8)

rating: T/M

summary: Soulmate trope AU. Set in a world where humans and elves coexist.

a/n: If you haven’t, don’t forget to the CS Fanfic Survey (updated link, please use this) which is a 2 minute survey about how this fandom consumes media. Analytics will be published for everyone’s curiosity.

Past Chapters: (1) (2) or AO3

CHAPTER 3

It felt like everyone was staring at her. Emma couldn’t tell if she was being paranoid or if the itching and heat all over her body was the culprit. The moisture soaking through her matching lace underwear was uncomfortable and made her too aware of the sensations he’d awoken in her. They needed to leave. Now.

No man she had ever been with had ever, ever garnered such an intense reaction from her body. Not even that artiste who had spent hours mapping her body by the pristine beaches of Thranduilia.

She reached Henry, grabbing on to his arm like he was her anchor.

“Mom, what—“ he sputtered, falling silent.

It was at that moment that she realized she must have looked quite a fright.

“I knew it,” Jefferson hissed, eyes widening in alarm.

Even Gracie, who was usually so poised, took one look at Emma, and gasped.

“Papa,” she whispered, “papa, she’s….”

“Hush now, time to go.”

“What’s going on?” Henry asked, looking at the three of them, and Emma wanted to cry. An elven couple were looking at her funny, and she didn’t know what was wrong.

“Come now, before anyone really sees anything amiss,” Jefferson said quietly, putting an arm around Emma, ushering them through the back of the room. She couldn’t help but shake him off, the feeling so wrong that it made her want to heave.

They exited the main hall, all the way down the corridor, when two tall elves stepped forward. They were dressed in the tunics of the Sukrasa, the guardians.

“His Highness has forbidden you to leave. If you follow us, you may find reprieve in —“

“Tell Killian to shove it,” she snarled, rage spiking her blood and distracting her from the other sensations and tugging under her skin. “I told him not to tell me what to do.”

The two Sukrasa’s were not cowed by her anger; merely stared her down. Beside her, Jefferson fidgeted with his sleeve, arm cradled protectively around Gracie.

“You cannot forbid us from leaving when we come at our own leisure,” Jefferson said, speaking to the older Sukrasa.

“Then we shall not,” the older man replied, stepping aside.

“What the? That’s it?” she asked incredulously.

“Not now,” Gracie said, reminding Emma that there was a lot of things about this world she didn’t know.

Henry was quiet and tense beside her, and none of them spoke until they were far away from the hall. Jefferson had insisted they adjourn to the park near his house, sitting on one side of the picnic table while she and Henry sat at the other.

“Okay, what just happened?” Henry asked, breaking the silence.

“Your mother, it appears, is in fact elvish,” Jefferson said, with a trace of smugness Emma wanted to punch off. Henry’s jaw dropped, but he said nothing. No one did.

“Half,” Emma clarified, after a beat of silence.

“Excuse me? What do you mean, half?”

“Apparently, I’m half.”

“That’s impossible,” he told her, as if she didn’t know that.

“He called me an impossibility,” she conceded, not really knowing how elven genetics worked.

“He? The prince?” Gracie asked.

“Yes.”

“Have you never been to a Healer before? A hospital?”

“No, never been sick enough for them to take blood.”

“Okay,” Henry said, “but that doesn’t explain why…”

“They Recognized, Henry,” Gracie said, sounding far wiser and older than Emma thought she ought to be.

“What? You have a soulmate?!” Henry said, whipping to pin Emma with his stare. “Your soulmate is the prince?!”

“Well, no one can know for sure,” she began, only to be cut off by Jefferson’s sarcastic laugh.

“Are you kidding? Have you seen yourself? Gracie, you have a mirror, don’t you?”

The girl pulled out her mirror, handing it to Emma, who flipped it open.

She gasped.

Her eyes, usually a dark forest green, were bright and wide, the gold flecks in them more pronounced, making her seem…elf-like. Her hair felt lighter, but it was brighter too, and as she ran her fingers through it, realized it seemed finer, the strands like thread. Her pale complexion seemed ethereal, and she knew it was because she was different inside. It was like meeting her soulmate had awakened her dormant genes, bringing forth the elvish part of her to the front.

Her ears, however, remained their disappointing rounded shape.

“And that itching you feel? That hollowness? That need?”

Her eyes snapped to Jefferson, who was looking at Gracie instead of her, “That feeling won’t leave. Not until you… you don’t die if you don’t, unconsummated Recognition is never fatal, but you’ll always feel like your body is in the wrong skin. And if you do, and then you lose them, that feeling never goes away.”

It clicked, suddenly, as she watched him watch his daughter. Gracie had been born of Recognition. It was said children who were the product of a Recognition, had greater physical, mental and magical gifts than those who were not. The whole point of the phenomenon was to produce healthy offspring that had the maximum beneficial inherited characteristics of both parents, after all.

And if after all these years, he still felt that physical lost of his mate, no wonder the man acted weird. She suddenly felt sick, imagining living her life knowing she could cure that feeling but doing nothing about it, pretending like Killian didn’t exist.

“So what happens now?” Henry asked, looking between the two adults as he attempted to figure it out. Emma wasn’t sure she wanted him to - not until she figured it out first, at least.

“What happens now,” Jefferson said, standing and looking at his watch, “is that the two of you youngsters go to bed, while we discuss some important matters.”

“We should be a part of it,” Gracie said firmly, “after all, it’s something I should know for when my time comes, and what affects Emma affects Henry too.”

Jefferson looked like the idea of Gracie going through Recognition was the last possible thing in all the planets he could possibly want, face souring dramatically as he swallowed his words. If anything, that universal parental feeling of thinking of your adolescent child as a sexual anything made her take pity on Jefferson.

“Nice try, but it’s bed for you two.”

Gracie pouted, while Henry just looked at her worriedly. “Come on, let’s go.”

“Are we staying at the Swan’s, papa?”

Before Emma could open her mouth and agree to that, Jefferson shook his head.

“No. We’re going to stay at a quaint little place I know, under the name Hatter.”

“That seems rather excessive, don’t you think?”

“Better safe than sorry,” he said, getting up and steering the children down the path.

She didn’t ask exactly what wasn’t safe. Killian wouldn’t hurt her, she knew that, even if she didn’t know him. But he had seemed unstable… like the burn was harder for him. Paranoid though he may be, Jefferson had a point. At least until they figured… something out.

After the children were tucked in, Jefferson led her to the kitchen of the Bed & Breakfast. They were its only inhabitants, so it was quiet where they sat at the breakfast bar.

“What are you going to do?” he asked her, after pouring a generous amount of wine into her glass, claiming alcohol would help dull the edge.

“I don’t know. There’s two huge things. One, I’m half-elf, which means, I am, literally, a freak of nature.”

“Plus, I guaranteed you weren’t abandoned. The humans may have instigated the war, and the elves may have pushed back, but all said and done, they would never harm an elven child, half or not. You were probably sent away from protection, if anything.”

“Maybe,” she conceded. “In any case, I’m a long, long way from home. Nysno. If my parents are still alive, well, they’re really far away.”

A pause, then, “Will they run weird experiments on me?”

“Of course,” Jefferson said blankly, “you’re a miracle, Emma.” His lips turned down as he said, “But you’ll also become a political piece, whether you like it or not. Those who fight against Integration will call you an abomination, and those who fight for it will use you as proof that we can inhabit this planet together. The hardiness of the human genetics and the longevity of the elves, among other things.”

“Realistically, who will know?”

“The Sukrasa serve the Ruling Noble Family exclusively. They live, breathe and die by their code.”

“They let us pass.”

“It’s in the code.”

Emma rolled her eyes, moving on to more important things. “So, as long as Killian keeps his mouth shut, they keep their mouth shut?”

“Yes. Announcing something like this would cause disturbances in both worlds, until there is proof, and until they figure out how this benefits their agenda, you’re safe,” he said, “you best be prepared for what if the prince doesn’t, though.” he warned, the way he said prince sounding like an insult to her ears.

“Yeah,” she sighed, taking a large gulp of the wine. Her skin was burning up. She wanted to run a few miles to burn energy, but settled for bouncing her leg up and down instead.

“So, are you going to ignore your soulmate?”

“I don’t know. I know, logically, that I shouldn’t.”

“You do realize, that this itch, this need will abate almost immediately after sex, right?”

“What?”

“Surely, you can’t be ignorant to…” he trailed off.

“I’ve never needed to know the details, it’s never concerned me,” she defended.

He sighed. “I suppose, one day, hate as I do, I will have to speak to Gracie about this. Well, might as well start with you.”

He sighed again, taking a sip of his own wine, and squared his shoulders.

“You see, when two elves Recognize,” he said, ignoring her muttered half-elf comment, “their soul meets when their eyes do. You, I, everything in this universe is created from the stars. The ether, the cosmic dust. The energy from where you are created has its own musical energy, a vibration.”

She nodded, paying attention despite the buzz in her brain willing her to move. To consume.

“Most of this energy isn’t sentient, so of course, there is no pull, but sometimes, two beings are created from the same space of energy. You match, on every particle of your being. That is your soulmate. Does it happen to everyone? No. Do their personalities always match yours? No. Does it always end happily? No.”

“I’ve read about that,” she said, remembering reading a magazine about how nasty a soulmate break could be.

“But when it does, it consumes you. Every part of you is screaming to be reunited with its mate. So all you need to do, to satiate that, is, well, mate. His seed must flow uninhibited to you,” he said.

Emma made a face of disgust, letting out a long string of ewwww’s.

“Hmm, I should reword that when I tell Gracie, yes?”

“Yes, dear sweet lord almighty, never use that sentence again.”

“Alright then, what do you suggest?”

“What I get is that… he has to cum in you to fix the edge?”

“How is that less crass?!”

“It wasn’t, I was just clarifying!”

“Right. Well, he has to…” Jefferson trailed off, taking a deep breath. “He must ejaculate without any protection, and you must not in any way alter your chemical composition either. No emergency contraceptions, or anything.”

“Is that why it usually ends up in a kid?”

“Essentially, yes. There’s plenty of literature about how the mixing of the basic seeds of life is what harmonizes the body.”

“Yeah, there’s no way to reword this section without being 100% gross.”

He sighed again. “That’s essentially it. But the feeling is so good, the person feels so right, that most of the time, they become your mate for life.”

“Is that how you had Gracie?” she asked, after a moment of silence.

He sent her a sharp look, never one for sharing personal information.

“Yes, and her mother died in childbirth, as they often do. Gracie barely made it, but she’s a strong girl.” The finality in his tone let her know that was all he was going to say on the matter.

“Soooo…. I just need to find the prince, fuck him, and I can go back to my regularly scheduled life?”

“In theory, I suppose.”

“Okay, that sounds like a plan.”

“It really doesn’t.”

“It’s a solid, 10 out of 10 plan.”

Jefferson sighed again, draining his wine.

* * *

Emma could not sleep.

Torment.

There was no other word to describe what she was experiencing; the dull throbbing between her thighs pulsing through to where her womb would be. Recognition triggered ovulation, the book Jefferson had left for her had said. But it wasn’t quite time for her yet, so she wasn’t sure how that worked. Still, it felt like everything below the waist throbbed, and her chest felt hollow.

In the quiet of the small private guest room, Emma let a whimper escape her lips as she lay curled on her side, the book open. The words were blurry and out of her focus as she gripped a pillow between her thighs, walking herself through the sensations.

‘Fucking it out of her system’ seemed like she was letting herself down. She could take a challenge. She could override fate and the universe. She was stronger than this bullshit.

Emma wasn't weak. She would obey her brain over her body.

“It’s just Day 1, Emma. You just need to learn how to deal,” she told herself soothingly.

She didn’t dare close her eyes again, as Killian’s lips had flashed clearly through her memory, the bright blue of his gaze searing her. Her imagination outdid itself as it imagined the lithe elf above her, his body merging with hers. She was so wet and lush down there that it was easy to imagine the essence that coated her was his.

What sort of lover would he be like?

She’d had a few elves, both male and female, some with grace, but some encounters, with strength. She wondered, lying there, even as she told herself to stop thinking about it, if Killian was the kind of lover to give pleasure first. Many elves were like that - the longer they had lived, the more patience they had, the more they understood that true pleasure was in giving first, before receiving.

But there were a few others, the younger ones, who loved their displays of strength, like the she-elf who had fingered Emma so hard she’d bruised her to the point of blood. Killian fingers would fit well in her, she thought suddenly, remembering the way he’d curled them around her neck.

She wondered if he’d also curl them around her neck in passion - did he have the need to just possess? Was he lying wherever it was he lived, his large fingers wrapped around his swollen manhood, attempting to alleviate the need?

She’d given it a go herself, had rubbed the ridiculously swollen flesh of her sex, tweaked the tight little nubs her nipples had become, had flicked and flicked herself until her back had arched off the bed, only to realize that it wasn’t quite what her body needed.

“It always seems like the worst ever when you first get hit, but then you adjust,” she whispered, rubbing her belly in gentle circles.

“All you have to do, Emma, Emma my girl, my buddy, my pal, is stay the fuck away from that really hot, how the fuck is he so hot, elf. Recognition is for making cute little elf babies that for reasons I can’t figure out tends to lead to their mother’s death, what the fuck is that about, how can they have not figured out how to make that not happen, and anyway, you don’t need an elf baby, or a human baby, or whatever, so just stay the fuck away, ride out this wave of lust and sex crazy bitch in heat thing you have going on, give it a few days and treat this like a period but inverse and then it’ll go away and you’ll learn to deal and you can stay away from this mess and you’re good. Whoo,” she rambled under her breath.

It may not have been the most motivational or inspirational self-talks, but she believed herself, and that was what truly mattered.

Go to Chapter 4

tagging those who asked, please track tag ‘cs ff recognition’ for future updates. let me know if you want to be untagged:

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#cs ff #cs fic #cs au #cs ff recognition #cs ff au #cs fantasy

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mumblsinhissleep-blog · 5 years

Text

The Fruit Fix

About a year and some months back I reached a low point in my life. I left my job of 6 years after feeling stagnated and under appreciated. My music career was totally stifled and I felt like nobody cared about my art. I abandoned my healthy plant based diet, ate whatever the fuck I wanted and entered a full on alcoholic depression. I’m talking about breakfast beers on an empty stomach, being the first guy at happy hour, then waiting for the day to start over so I could do it again. It was rough.

One day, after making shitty, non-focused music for 6 hours, I went out for beers and dinner. My sandwich was delicious but I started getting violent hiccups and gnarly heartburn. It was very strange. I went to my girlfriends house and tried to sleep it off but my stomach wouldn’t let me sleep. No healthcare, so I called my cousin who works at Kaiser and she got me an out of pocket appointment. $200 for an asshole in a Hawaiian shirt to pat me on my back a couple times and tell me to stop drinking for awhile. No drunk wants to hear this, but it was good advice. I listened. For a bit.

I started to feel better, but my yearly pilgrimage to Tijuana for the fabled Tequila Expo was right around the corner. (I highly recommend you check it out before you die. If you’re into that stuff.)

“Should I go and drink myself stupid if I just got over this mystery ailment?. YES I FUCKING SHOULD. I deserve it”.

I went hard for 4 nights and was awoken on the last day of the trip by an excruciating pulsation in my abdomen. It was terrible. My cousin’s husband is a doctor, came to the Tequila Expo, was very upset that I didn’t tell him about it before we partied. He said I probably had pancreatitis and I needed to get some blood work. I had also noticed my stool was super oily and I knew something was very wrong. After a couple weeks of stomach pain, back pain when I ate, and scraping together bar tips, I got a test done on my pancreatic enzymes. The results were humbling.

One of the 4 enzymes our pancreas creates and shoots into our stomach while eating is called Lipase, and it helps to break down and digest fat. Any and all, good or bad, fat is IMPORTANT. It turns out my lipase level was almost non-existent. I had essentially burned a portion of my pancreas with a monsoon of alcohol and shitty fatty foods (aka Acidosis), and because of it, I couldn’t digest my food properly. I found out through a ton of research that I likely had chronic pancreatitis and EPI (Exocrine Pancreatic Insufficiency). Western medicine deems it irreversible. All signs pointed to FUCKED.

Google had me convinced my life as I knew it was over. I was losing weight at an alarming rate because my body was essentially eating all of the fat off of itself. I was in chronic pain every day and was having a very hard time not drinking to numb it. I was legitimately scared for my life for the first time. I got so skinny in just 4 months that my mom started crying when she saw me.I didn’t want to do shit, my relationship with my girlfriend started to suffer, I was resentful, and deep down I knew it wasn’t anybody’s fault but my own.

I signed up for Medi-Cal (free health care for broke people) and found a doctor here in Oakland. She was utterly clueless and was of no help. Drowning in frustration, I decided that I could either give up and wait to die, or strap on a set of balls and do what I could to clean out my body and AT LEAST ease some of the pain.

This is when I discovered a whole different world. The natural healing of the human body. The shit NOBODY in PHARMA or your fucking moron doctor, who gets a bonus every time he gives out a flu shot, wants you to know.

The world of FRUIT, JUICE, HERBS, and FASTING.

FAST FORWARD: I have since regenerated and restored my pancreas. Not 100% but it is making lipase again and my digestion is WAY BETTER. I still have a long way to go but I’m so hopeful and grateful to not be in a state of perpetual sadness anymore.

The rest of this piece will simply be a recap of how I got well, and my hope is that you can take some information and better your health. You don’t have to go as hardcore as I did, but I promise these changes will impact your life greatly, bring back your vitality, and ensure your life is long and healthy.

1: FRUIT, DIET, WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT ALL MEAN? WHO DO YOU BELIEVE?

First off, all of the information I’m going to give you is already out there. Its hidden, and protected by the medical world, but you can find it. There are so many resources and wonderful people trying to help others. (Look up Dr. Robert Morse, Dr. Sebi’s Food List, Arnold Ehret, The Grape Cure by Johanna Brendt etc…..Youtube is your friend!) You just have to seek them out and stop listening to the talking heads on TV. (You can listen to the band Talking Heads, they’re excellent.) I’m not gonna worry about citing sources because frankly, I want you to research this shit yourself and activate the part of your brain dedicated to seeking out HELPFUL information. Not a fucking celebrity’s net worth. Or the score of some sporting event. I also don’t care if you believe me. I DID THIS SHIT. IT WORKED. IT WAS HARD, BUT IT FUCKING WORKED.

Why fruit? Fruit is delicious and abundant. Whoever you believe designed this world, designed fruit to be our best friend. It grows on trees. You can just grab it. They’re bright and come in all kinds of cool and crazy colors. This why humans have color vision. Our ancestors had to evolve and identify which ones were ripe and consumable.You can’t miss them. It is the best source of direct energy, an extraordinary cleanser of your body and extremely important to your lymphatic system AKA your waste management. Your lymph system is astonishingly long and amazingly efficient, but it’s not invincible. If your lymphatic system gets backed up and isn’t flowing correctly, you are fucked. If the garbage can’t be taken out, it starts stacking up. If it stacks up high enough, it becomes apart of you. This is where “disease” manifests. Your diet. The shit you put inside you. If you have a healthy fruit intake, your lymphatic system can flow like a powerful river and you won’t have any problems. Fruit is not a snack. It’s a god damned life force. Veggies, nuts, and seeds are also important parts of our diet but the focus of this essay is to help people with ailments who need to detox quickly and efficiently. Veggies are great but they can be hard on your digestive system so its best to avoid them while healing/detoxing.

What about sugar? Isn’t there too much in fruit? Fuck no. That’s misinformation for the masses. Fruit sugar is the best thing you could possibly ingest and is the most digestible thing known to humans. Your body doesn’t even have to convert it. Chemically speaking, it is made up of exactly what humans are made of. Carbon, hydrogen, oxygen. It IS us. Now, if you eat 47 plums YOU WILL SHIT YOUR PANTS. There is such a thing as too much fruit AT ONE TIME. You will know. Figure it out. Stop eating until your full. Eat until you feel energized.

PS: There’s also a system for combining the foods you eat properly, based on how long it takes for certain things to digest. For example melons digest extremely fast so its best to eat it alone, whereas nuts and seeds can take 4–5 hours to digest. Look it up, it can help you avoid getting gassy and bloated.

2: COOKED FOOD

We are the only species who cooks their food. Yes, cooked food is great and tasty and all things wonderful BUT when you cook food, you destroy digestive enzymes, nutrients, and minerals. This can back up your colon, which is responsible for all of your nutrient absorption. So, if you don’t balance your diet with RAW foods, which are easily digestible, you can create problems. If you feel sluggish, overweight, tired, bloated, depressed, or helpless, RESET the balance of cooked food and raw food in your life. Eat only fruits and veggies for a couple days. See how you feel.

THINGS THAT STICK TO YOUR INSIDES: BREAD, GLUTEN, CHEESE, MEAT.

You’re not fat, you just eat a lot of things that stick around in your gut and colon.

3: JUICE

If you have $400 to invest your health, BUY A FUCKING JUICER. Eating the fruit is great, but juicing is where it’s at. The idea of juicing is to give your digestive system a break so your body can tend to everything it needs to fix inside itself.The juice requires minimal effort from your body to process, but provides all the nutrients and hydration you need to sustain a good energy level. The less your body has to digest, the less it has to work. The less it has to work, the longer you’ll live. Simple as that. We eat too much in this country and that’s why many people are overweight, sick, and unable to help themselves.

I know it sounds expensive but please hear me out. How many hundreds of dollars do you spend on alcohol, material items, and decadent but ultimately hurtful food? Probably more than $400. If not, good for you, but don’t be dishonest with yourself. This is about being accountable for your health. Invest in your betterment. Now. Not after you get sick. Trust me.

Fresh juice is the best possible breakfast you can make yourself. Replace your coffee routine with a juice routine. Coffee and caffeine are artificial energy sources that will hurt you in the long run. They are horrible for digestion. That’s why you shit so violently when you drink it. Your body hates it. It’ll fuck up your kidneys, adrenal glands, and can permanently damage your ability to naturally produce serotonin. (Serotonin is like the ONLY free drug. Don’t fuck that up.) Juice will wake your ass up for real.

What kind of juicer you ask? This is important. You want a SLOW, MASTICATING juicer. This means it uses pure natural pressure to physically squeeze the juice out and separate the fiber. Most juicers sold in stores (Breville, I’m looking at you) or in juice bars are BLADED and use heat to SHRED the fruit. This is no good. It damages the molecular structure YADDA YADDA IT SUCKS and it damages the nutrients! This defeats the whole damn purpose.These cheap ass juicers are wack. You get what you pay for. SLOW MASTICATING is what you want. Mine is made by Hurom and it is an absolute horse. I’ve used it three to four times a day for a year now. Look online, shop around, and pick the one that works for you.

BEST FRUIT TO JUICE

Anything with high water content and seeds (See Dr. Sebi info about seeded fruits)

Grapes (Seeded). I did a 20 day grape juice only fast and holy fuck did it clean my colon out.

Melons (Watermelon especially! Cantaloupe too.)

Key Limes (seeded) with ginger (!)

Apples

Anything else with high juice content!

If you can’t get a juicer then go for smoothies, but avoid almond milk or any other fillers. Yes these things are delicious but they obstruct the work of the fruit.

4: HERBS

There are plants and roots on this planet that have amazing healing properties because of their nutrient and mineral content. I advise you to look into this for yourself but here is a list of herbs I have used to speed up my recovery, cleanse my blood, and help my body repair itself. I’ll also list where I typically purchase them.

Seamoss aka Irish Moss (94 of 102 minerals our bodies need) https://alkalineveganshop.com/

Burdock Root (Blood, Lymph Cleaner) (Available online or at health food stores, Sprouts)

Black Sarsparilla (Iron content off the charts!)

Dandelion Root (Liver) (Available online or at health food stores, Sprouts)

GI Broom (Potent colon cleanser, 16 ingredients, scrubs out and soothes GI tract, https://www.drmorsesherbalhealthclub.com/

5: WATER

There’s a lot of hype about water and staying hydrated. Now, drinking water is great. Water comprises 60% of our bodies. The problem is that companies like Nestle (etc.) have privatized drinking water and created a plastic-ridden market and nobody knows which water is actually acceptable to buy.

The truth is that water doesn’t really hydrate you. Electrolytes do. Water is great for flushing out our bodies and keeping things moving but the electrolytes we need are mostly found in fruit, sea salt, and other food sources. Most of the water sold to us doesn’t contain natural electrolytes, just synthetic ones that our body can’t absorb. BOTTLED? ALKALINE? DISTILLED? TAP? (FUCK NO) PLASTIC? SINGLE USE?

Fuck it all. Eat your water. Eat more fruit. Thirsty? Eat a piece of fruit. Keep that shit stocked. Keep them thangs on you.

(If your going to buy water, I suggest natural spring water in a glass container)

HOW TO SHOP

Go to different stores than you normally would. Support family owned produce markets. Latin and Central american markets have fire produce. Asian markets too. Safeway does not. Major chains typically have lackluster produce with hella pesticides even though they’re labeled organic. FARMERS MARKETS! Look for wild exotic shit. How many bars have you gone to? 300 million. Seek out dope fruit spots too. Don’t cheap out on your health. It’s all you really have. So many people are getting sick. Between the food, the phones, the pollutants, free-flowing chemicals etc…we need to push back in some way. At least we can control what we eat.

Washing Fruit:

I use a 10% vinegar, 90% water mix with a table spoon of baking soda to wash my fruits. Anything with an edible skin needs to be washed, regardless if its organic.

6: FASTING

I am not a doctor. You should research THE FUCK out of this before you try it, but trust me when I tell you that FASTING is the best medicine for you and is an ANCIENT practice.

There are many types of fasting, some of them popular in mainstream society. I use a technique called “dry fasting” which involves no eating or drinking for long periods of time. It has helped me immensely, with my record being 80 hours. These fasts are like hard resets for your body, and I was able to eliminate chronic pain and regenerate cells that were long fucked off. Think of it as putting your phone on the charger and leaving it to charge, undisturbed. Your body has the ability to heal itself, if you give it proper rest time. Sometimes I eat fruit or drink juice for 6–8 hours and then dry fast for the remaining 16–18 hours. Look into it and be very careful. You can’t jump into shit like this. Typically, you want to eat raw foods for a month, juice only for a couple weeks then implement the fasting. You can damage your body if you break a fast in the wrong way or go too long. It is a powerful practice not to be taken lightly.

THE END: In summation, try to eat more raw foods/fruits, buy a juicer if you can, and let’s stop being an idiotic, sick population of people who buy what we’re sold, and die from very avoidable health problems.

#health #juice #wellness #anti-inflammatory #chronic illness

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littlej097 · 5 years

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For Those in My Heart - Chapter 7 “Ghosts of the Past”

Prompt: Regina has an uncomfortable encounter with Robin and it throws her back into her memories of the past.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Since moving in with Robin and fitting into her domestic role, Regina had become truly happy. She loved Robin. She loved all three of her children and she really just loved her life. It was as simple as that. However, that didn’t mean that she didn’t have moments where the ghosts and memories of her past came back to haunt her.

The night had started out as a quiet one. Robin had gone out with David and Hook for a guy’s night out, so it was just Regina at home with the Roland and Addy. Henry was at Emma’s for the night. From what Henry had told her, he and his other mother planned to spend the night eating pizza and playing video games. Regina had readily told him to go. Henry had grown up so fast in the past few months since Addy came along and their little family had come about. He had stepped into the role of big brother so naturally and Regina loved seeing Henry play with Roland or just cuddle with Addy. However, Regina did miss seeing her oldest son just enjoy being a kid and she was glad that Emma could provide Henry with the opportunity to do so.

Regina had spent the rest of her night cuddled with Roland and Addy on the couch. They decided to watch the Lion King. It had quickly become one of Roland’s favorites and they practically watched it once a week. When it was over, Regina took both kids upstairs and changed them into pajamas. She read stories with Roland and tucked him into bed and then fed Addy her nighttime bottle before laying her down in her crib. With both kids asleep, Regina ventured downstairs and started cleaning up some dishes that were still sitting in the dish drain. While washing the dishes, Regina head the sound of the front door open and her heart fluttered at the thought of Robin coming home to her. “Robin!” she said a huge smile on her face. However, once she reached the living room, her face fell at the sight before her

“Regina,” He slurred.

“You’re drunk.” She replied.

“I may have had a few,” Robin answered as he stumbled over to her.

“A few? You reek of scotch. It’s practically coming out of your pores.” Regina told him. “I think you went a bit hard on guy’s night out and you’re going to regret it in the morning. Let me get you some water and some ibuprofen.”

“I don’t want water. I want you.” Robin slurred as he walked closer to Regina. He began to kiss her neck and she tensed up.

“Robin, you’re drunk. Another night.” Regina said. “Just, calm down.”

“You’re so hot, Regina,” Robin said. “I need you.” He began kissing Regina even more forcefully and backed her up until she was pressed against the wall.

“Robin, stop.” She begged, feeling herself growing tenser as he continued to kiss her neck. Regina could feel her breaths growing quicker and her chest begin to tighten. The odor of scotch overwhelmed her and Regina felt like she was going to be sick. As Robin pressed his strong body against her, Regina felt more and more trapped. No. This wasn’t happening again. She kneed Robin in the crotch and pushed him away from her before running from the kitchen and into the bathroom. Regina slammed the door and locked it as she felt the panic coursing through her body. She slid down against the edge of the tub and pulled her legs into her chest. She was definitely hyperventilating and her mind was racing. In an instant, Regina was thrown back into the memories of her past.

The Enchanted Forest

They had been at one of the many balls that King Leopold had thrown. Regina was sitting by herself at the front table as she watched her husband twirl Snow across the dance floor. Part of Regina was jealous of the young girl. If she was going to be trapped in this marriage, it would have been nice if her husband could at least paid any sort of attention to her. However, deep down Regina knew that would never happen. Leopold was still deeply in love with his late wife, Eva and nothing would ever change that, no matter how hard Regina tried to be a good wife.

After spending the majority of the night sitting by herself with no one to talk to, Regina decided to head to bed. She doubted that anyone would miss her anyway. She ventured back to her chambers and changed out of her ornate gown and into a silky jade green nightgown. She crawled underneath her comforter and tried to tune out the sounds of the music and laughter coming from the party downstairs. She didn’t know how much longer she could take living in this prison. This wasn’t a marriage. It was a life sentence and it was one that Regina did not deserve to serve. With tears in her eyes, she rolled onto her side and cried into her pillow until she eventually drifted off to sleep.

A little after midnight. Regina was awoken by the sound of her heavy bedroom door slamming shut which made her bolt up in bed. Looking out into the darkness, she saw a staggering form headed in her direction. “Leopold?” she questioned. Her husband never slept in the same chambers. He was much more content sleeping on his own.

“I was looking for my Queen.” he slurred.

“Are you drunk?” Regina asked innocently. Her question was only met by a slap to her face.

“Don’t ask questions!” Leopold screamed as Regina clutched her reddened cheek.

“Leopold please.” she begged softly. However, Leopold didn’t listen. He climbed onto the bed and straddled Regina’s body. “Please, no, please…” she begged. She could smell the scotch on his body and his breath.

“You are my wife and you will do as I say!” Leopold growled as he started to kiss her.

“Leopold, I don’t want this. I do-” He hit her again before reaching his hand under her nightgown. Regina tried to fight. She clawed at his arms and even tried to bite him but Leopold was too strong. He pressed her arms down at her sides and had his way with her. Feeling defeated, Regina eventually stopped fighting and accepted her fate. She laid in the bed silently, tears running down her face as Leopold continued to defile her body. Luckily for her, Leopold didn’t last very long. He passed out either from exhaustion or the alcohol...Regina didn’t know or care. She just needed everything to stop…

Present Day

Back in the kitchen, Robin was still sitting on the kitchen floor. There was nothing like a knee to the crotch to make a man sober up. Robin was disgusted and felt sick when he realized when he had just done to Regina. He had tried to force her...something he would never do. The alcohol had made him foggy. That was why he didn’t drink very often, but Hook and David had invited him out and Regina had told him to go. It had been such a fun night...until...

Robin groaned. He staggered over to the sink and threw up. The combination of multiple glasses of scotch and the memories of what he had just done to Regina had pushed him too far. After wiping his mouth, Robin knew that he needed to talk to Regina. He walked down the hallway and tried to open the bathroom door. It was locked.

“Regina? Regina, I’m so sorry.” He cried. “I-I would never. I-I don’t know what happened.” He pressed his ear against the bathroom door and could hear the sound of Regina hyperventilating. “Love, please! Open the door!” Robin didn’t hear any movement from inside the bathroom. He knew if Regina continued to breathe like she was, she was going to pass out. “I’m so sorry. I am so sorry Regina,” he said again. Not knowing what else to do, he went to the kitchen and found his phone. He dialed Snow’s number and held it up to his ear.

“Hello?” Came Snow’s sleepy reply.

“Snow?” Robin said. “I-I need help.”

“Robin? What’s the matter?”

“I-I messed up.” He stuttered. “Regina-she needs you. I don’t know what to do. I messed up so badly.”

“Robin, is Regina hurt?” Snow asked, her voice high with alarm.

“I-I don’t know. Please, just hurry.” Robin begged.

“Okay, okay. I’ll be right over.” Snow assured him before hanging up the phone. Robin placed his head in his hands and couldn’t help but cry. How could he do this? How could he even think of doing that to the love of his life?

Back in the bathroom, Regina was still huddled against the side of the tub. Her lungs felt as if they were on fire. She needed something to focus on. She needed something to distract her. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the shiny glare of her pink razor sitting on the rack in the shower. Regina grabbed it out of old habit and held it to her wrist. She had promised herself that she wouldn’t do this...not again, but she didn’t know what to do...how to calm herself without it.

The Enchanted Forest

Since the night of the incident, Regina didn’t know how to handle her emotions. She constantly felt dirty. Some days she’d spend nearly two hours in the shower with the water blasting at a high temperature. She’d scrub at her skin until it was red and raw. However, no matter how hard she scrubbed, she could never get the feeling of Leopold off of her. One day, while in the shower, she dropped her razor and it created a large red scratch down her leg. The cut stung as the hot water invaded its edges. Instead of pulling her leg out from under the hot stream of water, Regina kept it there. The pain felt...freeing. For once she wasn’t thinking about what Leopold had done to her. All she could focus on was the burning pain and at that moment...it was more tolerable than what she had been dealing for the past few weeks. She took that same razor and carefully sliced across the top part of her thigh. Regina gasped as she felt the razor slice through her flesh and she could feel her lungs begin to expand. She finally felt in control...she finally felt free.

Present Day

With a knock at the door, Robin ran to open it. Snow was there, still dressed in her pajamas. “Where is she?” Snow asked.

“In the bathroom, but it’s locked,” Robin told her.

“Robin, I have to know what happened? Just tell me.”

“I-I was drunk. I started kissing her. I don’t know what came over me.” Robin told her.

“Did you…” Snow began.

“No! No! She stopped me.” Robin replied. “Snow, I-the alcohol- I would never. I-I love her. I just need to talk to her.”

“Robin, I don’t know if that’s such a good idea right now.” Snow told him. “I only know a small part of Regina’s past and it’s not mine to reveal but she can not see you right now.”

“I have to know that she’s okay. Please, Snow, make sure she’s okay.” Robin begged.

“I will.” Snow assured him. She walked over to the bathroom and grabbed the skeleton key from above the door frame. She unlocked the door and then knocked, not wanting to scare Regina anymore. “Regina, it’s Snow. I’m gonna come in.” When Snow went inside, she was shocked to see the sight of her stepmother. Snow had only seen her like this one other time.

The Enchanted Forest

Snow and Regina’s chambers were just down the hall from one another in the castle, so sound traveled pretty well. When the young princess heard screams, she instantly bolted from her bed and went to find out where they were coming from. After listening, she discovered that they were coming from Regina’s room. She slowly opened the door and saw Regina tossing fitfully in bed. Snow walked closer and saw that her stepmother was coated in a thin sheen of sweat and she was mumbling.

“No, no, please no.” Snow gently placed her hand on her stepmother’s arm and tried to wake her.

“Regina? Regina?” she whispered softly. Regina’s eyes shot open and she looked wildly around the room. “You’re okay,” Snow said sweetly. “You were having a nightmare.” Regina looked at the young princess but still couldn’t control her breathing and her whole body was trembling. “Regina, you have to breathe.” Snow prompted. “Here put your hand on my chest.” The thought of being touched made Regina want to be sick, however, when Snow gently grabbed her hand, Regina allowed it. Snow pressed Regina’s hand to her chest and made eye contact with her stepmother. “Just follow my breathing. In and out. You’ll be okay.” The princess said. It took a few moments, but Regina eventually complied and followed Snow’s commands. Gradually, her breaths became more steady and Regina began to relax. “There, that’s good.” Regina laid back down and Snow sat by her stepmother’s side, gently running her fingers through her hair. “You’re okay. You’re safe. Just relax.”

Regina couldn’t pretend that she didn’t hate that young princess. She was the reason why she was trapped in this prison. However, no one in Regina’s nineteen years of life had ever handled her with such care...such compassion. In that moment, that was exactly what she needed. Feeling so exhausted from her panic attack, Regina drifted back to sleep with Snow by her side. The two women never spoke about that moment again…

Present Day

“Oh Regina,” Snow said softly. She surveyed the sight before her. Regina was breathing heavily and there was a thin cut across Regina’s wrist. It was bleeding but not profusely. Regina was still holding the pink razor over her arm. “Regina, I need you to give me the razor.” Snow prompted as she slowly took a seat next to her stepmother on the ground.

“I-I can’t,” Regina replied, her voice trembling

“You have to trust me. Doing this-” Snow began motioning to the razor. “...it won’t help. Just let me help you.” She reached out her hand slowly and placed her hand softly over Regina’s. “Just let me help you.” She repeated. Snow took the pink razor from Regina’s hand and instantly the woman crumbled. Snow pulled her stepmother into her embrace and just held her as she cried. When she felt Regina’s breathing get too fast, she took her hand and placed it on her own chest.

“Just breathe with me.” Snow said. “Just like before. In and out.” Regina locked eyes with Snow and followed her commands. Gradually, Regina’s breathing began to slow and she started to regain some control over her body. “There you go. It’s alright.” Snow said.

“I-I don’t know what happened...what came over me,” Regina said in a whisper.

“Robin told me what happened…”

“How is he?” Regina asked

“Upset. Worried about you.” Snow replied. “How are you?” she asked softly.

“I-I’m okay,” Regina said, however, she’s not very convincing.

“Regina, I’ve known you long enough to know that’s a lie.” Snow replied. “Can I fix up your wrist?” Regina nodded. Snow stood up and opened the medicine cabinet above the sink. She grabbed a bottle of hydrogen peroxide, cotton balls, Neosporin and band-aids before sitting back down. “Can I see your wrist?” Snow asked and Regina nodded once again. “This is going to sting a bit,” she warned as she took the hydrogen peroxide soaked cotton balls and pressed it to Regina’s cut. Regina hissed in pain but she didn’t move her arm. Then Snow covered the cut with Neosporin before covering the long cut with two bandaids.

“It was the smell of the alcohol…”Regina mumbled quietly.

“What?”

“The alcohol. The scotch. He’d been drinking.” Regina said again. “He really wasn’t doing anything wrong. Just kissing my neck...nothing we’ve not done before. It was the alcohol and his weight pressed against me against the wall. I-I couldn’t move... just like that I-I was…”

“Back with my father?” Snow asked.. Regina looked up completely shocked. She didn’t know that Snow knew what happened so many years ago. “I-I loved my father, Regina but I know that he was awful to you. That he-he did something to you. And for that, I am so sorry. I am so sorry that I didn’t help you.”

“Y-you were only a child.” Regina breathed out, tears falling from her eyes.

“So were you.” Snow replied, a tear falling from her own eye. She reached out and grabbed Regina’s hand. “You didn’t deserve it. It wasn’t your fault.” Regina nodded, not feeling strong enough to truly admit that out loud. For so many years, she had carried the burden of that moment around with her and she didn’t know how to let it go. “You know that right?” Snow asked. “You know it wasn’t your fault. Regina, say it.”

“I-It wasn’t my fault.” She stuttered out before leaning into Snow’s embrace. The two women stayed like that for a while until Regina finally felt ready to move.

“Are you ready to see him?” Snow asked as she helped Regina off the floor. Regina nodded and the two of them headed into the living room. Robin was sitting on the couch crying, his head in his hands. Upon hearing the sound of footsteps, he looked up and saw Regina, his true love. He looked at her red, puffy, tear-streaked face and her bandaged arm that still has bits of blood on it. He had done this to her.

“Regina…” he began as he walked over to her. “I-I-” Suddenly his knees buckled and he fell to the floor. He wrapped his arms around her waist. “I’m so so sorry.” He cried. At that moment, Snow knew that this was a private moment. She gave Regina one last glance before heading for the front door. Regina then turned her attention back to the sobbing man wrapped around her waist.

“Robin…”

“Regina, I would never. I-I am so sorry,” he said again. She took his face into her hands and forced him to look into her eyes.

“It’s okay.” She told him. “I’m okay.”

“I-I don’t know what came over me. I-I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t stopped me. Regina, I love you.”

“I know that you do.” She said. “Please, stand up and come sit with me.” Robin sniffled and wiped his tears before following Regina to the couch.

“I-I want you to listen, okay?” Regina said and Robin nodded. “This is hard for me to say but I want you to know what happened.”

“You can tell me anything.” the thief replied.

“You know that back in the Enchanted Forest, before I became the Evil Queen, that I was married to Snow’s father.” she began. “I-it was a loveless marriage and I was only 18. He mostly ignored me. He only wanted me to be a mother to Snow, but I wasn’t very good at that. One night, he was drunk...scotch and decided that I better hold up my role as his wife. He-he forced me and I couldn’t do anything but lie there.”

“Regina…” Robin started to say.

“Please, let me finish,” she told him and he stayed silent. She glanced down to her bandaged wrist. “This was the one thing that helped me to cope. I-I finally had some control, but I know it’s not healthy.”

“Have you done it in other places?” Robin asked. Regina nodded, feeling a bit ashamed. She slowly stood up in front of Robin. She undid the button on her pants and shimmied them down over her thighs. On both sides are parallel scars that run up and down her thighs. They old and healed, but permanent reminders of what she had gone through.

“They’re ugly,” Regina replied. “And they’ll never go away. I-I was weak…”

“No,” Robin told her. “Don’t say that. These scars do not make you weak. They’re battle scars and they show how strong you are.” Robin runs his fingers through Regina’s hair. “You’re beautiful,” he told her. “And I will spend the rest of my life making you see just how beautiful you are. And, Regina I am so sorry. So sorry about tonight. So sorry about what happened to you.”

“I forgive you,” Regina told him. “Robin…”

“Yes, my love,” he replied.

“Will you hold me?” she asked.

“You’re sure?” Regina nodded. Robin took her hand and led her to their bedroom. He pulled back the covers and allowed Regina to climb into bed. Then, he got in behind her and reached out. “You’re sure that you're okay?” he asked again.

“I want you to hold me, Robin,” Regina told him. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Robin replied. Her brought Regina into his embrace and held her gently. He wanted to make sure that Regina felt safe and secure. In his arms, Regina began to relax. She knew that Robin would never hurt her the way that Leopold did. She knew that Robin would fight for her, for their family and for their love until his last breath. Regina knew that she’d finally found someone who cared for her and who she really loved. Yes, even true love's made mistakes, but Regina knew she will always forgive Robin. And for those memories and ghosts from her past, she knew that they will always be there. However, with the love of Robin and her family, Regina knew that she could get past those as well. She was finally safe. She was finally loved. She was finally free.

#once upon a time #outlawqueen #regina mills #robin hood #klainelover1997 #littlej097 #forthoseinmyheart

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