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romancomicsnews · 9 months

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Movie Redo: My take on Batman's Insurgency from The Snyder Cut

While I was not crying out for more Snyder content, I was surprisingly impressed with Zack Snyder's Justice League. Yes, it is a long, and a little heavy on slow motion, but it had a vision that in my opinion, make his first two movies better. I don't think I connect with it in the same ways other do, but clearly it invokes passion.

While Zack Snyder's Justice League brought closure to a lot of DC fans, it brought a want for more from a lot of others, particularly in its closing scenes involving the Knightmare.

This battle between Batman, heroes, and an evil Superman has been teased throughout Batman vs Superman and The Snyder Cut. While I don't think this will ever truly happen, I want to focus on one aspect of the film that boggled my mind, the team that Batman assembles.

Batman assembles of team of heroes and villains to fight Superman, which in theory is a lot of fun and should be a team worth rooting for. However it is made up of (mostly in hindsight) some problematic stars and questionable choices in characters, none whom I believe could actually defeat Superman.

I want to go through the DCEU and make a team of heroes and villains that I think 1) would join up with Batman 2) would be able to put up a fight against Superman and 3) would make for an interesting movie.

Stipulations for myself are no heroes introduced after The Snyder Cut, as Zack would not have had access to them. So sorry, no Blue Beetle, no Supergirl, no Black Adam. But any heroes and villains introduced before then are fair game.

I also want to generally keep the same types of characters that are on the team. Let's say two villains, two younger heroes, and two Leaguers.

First, let's look at who is staying:

Keepers

Besides Batman, I only have the one.

I think having a Justice League member who remembers what Superman was like and to have Batman's back is a great idea. While I do love the Barry and Bruce relationship in comics and other media, Ezra Miller is not a person I can stand behind nor do I want to see in more movies for a long while.

Ray Fisher was done dirty by Warner Bros and Joss Whedon. He is a fantastic actor and plays my favorite character in Zack Snyder's Justice League. Bringing him along as both muscle and tech support makes sense. And given his technology being of alien origin, he may have a chance of actually putting up a fight against Superman.

In this film, I want Cyborg to represent the hope for Humanity. He has been taken over by something terrible, like alien technology, and has overcome it. Despite everything that has happened, Cyborg still believes they can save the world, and Superman. I think it would be a nice change of pace for the character and keep him at the heart of the film.

Now let's go on to the fun ones.

The Villains

The DCEU has a surprising amount of villains to choose from when it comes to people who would join the team. While both Joker and Deathstroke are fun fan favorite characters, I think for this cast, we can do better.

While I love the idea of Joe Manganiello as Deathstroke, he doesn't seem suited for a fight with the Man of Steel.

Similarly, Jared Leto's Joker seems like a pointless nuisance at best. Having a crash wild card on the team seems fun, but wrong direction.

Let's start with the obvious pick.

Lex Luthor

If we are doing a world where Superman truly goes evil, why not get help from the man who has been saying he would the Whole Time?!

I'm not a huge fan of Jesse Eisenbergs Lex Luthor, but in the post credits scene, he had seemed to calm down quite a bit, and seemed closer to the Luthor we know and love.

I still don't know if he entirely would nail it, but having Luthor on the team adds that same level of uneasiness Joker does while adding competence.

Luthor could have a chip on his shoulder with a lot of "I told you all" energy I love. And with his strong knowledge on Superman, and maybe a mech suit, he'd be incredibly useful against Superman.

I think we missed an opportunity to further Luthor's involvement in this universe in a fun and interesting way, and he should absolutely be a part of this team.

Ocean Master

While I did love the inclusion of Mera, I did not love the inclusion of Amber Heard. Having a violent Atlantean out for blood and vengeance for Arthur's death is a fun concept. Which brought me to his brother, Orm.

My hope is in Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom, Orm comes to an understanding and love for his brother. If that were true, Superman killing his brother (and likely the world's oceans) would put him on a warpath with Orm.

I think Orm is one of those characters elevated by the actor playing him, Patrick Wilson. And given Wilson and Snyder have worked together, I think the collaboration is in order.

I think Orm is a good middle ground between Mera and Deathstroke, filling out both roles all while bringing an angry, violent energy to the team.

Heroes

While there are quite a few heroes in the DCEU, I tried to pick heroes Batman has not interacted with, or that would join his cause. Let's start with the bigger ask:

Harley Quinn

If we want to match that chaotic Joker energy, Margot Robbie's Harley Quinn is the better way to go about it. This would be reminiscent of the Injustice Games where she goes good, following Batman's lead as his second in command.

She can represent how far both she and Bruce have come, having put aside their differences, even forgiving her for the death of Robin. While I know she's not the truest hero, we only see her as a protagonist throughout her films, and I'd like to keep her that way.

While I don't think she's the most useful in a fight against Superman, I think she still adds much needed humor to the bruting team. Plus, we can give her a Kryptonite hammer and boom, she's in the fight.

I also want a character who can annoy Lex with her presence. I think those two would be at each other's throats the entire time.

And Finally:

Shazam!

If there is one thing Batman is known to do, it's recruit a kid. While we can't have the Black Adam/Superman match up the Rock so desperately wants, we can have a more competent Billy Batson on the team.

As a hero with similar powers and magic at his disposal, Shazam would be the most capable in a fight against Superman. In this version, he has lost his Shazamily, and now hones the power of all of the Council of Wizards, making him the ideal foe for Superman.

Batman not having an absolute tank on his team in the fight against Superman is insane. Shazam serves as Bruces back up plan incase they run into Superman. While he doesn't truly believe Billy can beat him, he thinks Shazam could sacrifice himself and save the others in time to come up with a true plan.

Levi can add comedy but mix in drama and sadness of his lost family. Levi's acting is often underutilized in the Shazam films, and under Snyder we may get some absolute gold.

Having a powerful Wizard, an Atlantean King, a Genius, a Motherbox enhanced Cyborg and one of the best members of the Suicide Squad on a team together led by Batman gives us not only a colorful cast of characters, but the DCEU a fighting chance against Superman.

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lavenderbau · 3 years

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you drew stars around my scars

Photographer Elle Greenaway teams up with journalist Jennifer Jareau to expose corruption, what happens when that’s not the only thing exposed?

tw: mentions of rape, suicide, gunshot wounds/guns

words: 2.3k

ao3 link here

story is bellow the cut!

Elle sighed. She had heard rumors about the infamous Jennifer Jareau. How she was a stuck up bitch. Elle had worked with snobby journalists before, but she’s heard that she is next level. Elle just had to make it work with her for one article. That was it. Then she would never have to see her again. This was her chance for that big break she had been searching for. Although Elle was taking a big risk with this. Fisher King & Co. was one of the biggest law firms in the country. And with this Jen- Jayje girl, they were going to expose them for corruption and bribery. It was an ambitious task, but one that fascinated Elle. If it took working with this girl to get her big break and finally leave the BAU Times and open her own photography business.

Elle was startled from her thoughts when the door opened. “Miss Greenaway you can come in,” said editor in chief Aaron Hotchner. Or as Elle called him in her head a major pain in her ass. “As you know you will be working with one of our finest. She is very talented and not someone you want to mess with. I think you two will work well together. Don’t prove me wrong Miss Greenaway,” Hotchner continued.

“I wouldn’t dream of it sir. Also, it’s Elle not Mrs. Greenaway.” Hotch let out one of his rare small smiles before a knock sounded on the door.

Listen, Elle knew she liked girls. That wasn’t new, she went through the whole questioning of her sexaulity thing before. However, this wasn’t a girl. This was a woman in every sense of the word. The way her bright blonde hair framed those beautiful blue eyes. When Elle imagined what an angel looked like, it was her. The warmth and hope she seemed to radiate from her bones made Elle want to smile. Although she could see pain in those eyes she already loved so much. She was good at concealing it, but Elle recognized it. She had spent many hours in the mirror trying to erase that pain from her own eyes. With time little blondie would stop expecting to be able to hide it. That’s what happened to her. Elle thought to herself there is no way this perky blonde chick is the bitch she had heard about. If it was, Elle was certainly in for a fun time.

“Hi, you must be Elle. I'm Jayje. I'll be the journalist for this project,” JJ said while extending Elle her hand in a pleasant tone.

“Nice to meet you JJ. So I was wanting to sit down with you and talk about what type of photos you want and what you want them to represent. I’m down to get started as soon as you are.”

Hotch cleared his throat, “Okay ladies it looks like you guys are on the right track, let me know if there is anything I can do to help.”

Both Elle and JJ nodded and left his office.

“We can use my office to discuss this project. There is one thing you should know. This is the project I have been building my career up towards, and if you’re gonna screw this up or not handle it you can leave now. We are going after one of the biggest law firms in the country, we are going to have a target on our backs for the rest of our lives. You may just be the photographer but everyone involved in this will be experiencing backlash. Can you handle that?” JJ asked in a hard tone. Elle was impressed. She didn’t think blondie had it in her to be the major bitch she heard about. It seemed like she was wrong, which Elle rarely is.

“I can handle it,” Elle responded in a cold voice. She wanted to prove to her that she could give back as well as she was given.

Jayje burst into a smile. “Great, I was hoping you would. I want the best of the best on this. And I heard that you were the best,” JJ said with a wink.

Elle smirked. She was being surprised at every turn by this girl. Elle decided to test the waters, “You know what they say, only the beautiful can capture it in photos.”

Jayje let out a gorgeous laugh, “Well I’ve never heard of that saying before, but people should start saying it if you’re any indication.”

Elle smiled. This was going to be fun.

Maybe Elle spoke too soon. She was three weeks into this project and Jayje was on a mean streak. They were having trouble finding evidence on the firm, as it was so big nobody wanted to speak out against them. Elle was getting frustrated. When they were interviewing a witness yesterday that had changed their mind on coming forward Jayje yelled at her and said that she was a disgrace. Elle agreed that the firm was off, but finding enough evidence was damn near impossible. As much as Elle hated to say it, maybe it was time to throw in the towel.

“JJ as much as I hate to admit it, I just don’t think we have enough here to bring them down.”

JJ immediately turned to glare at the other woman. “I thought you said you could handle it? I told you this wasn’t going to be easy. You think I know we don’t have enough evidence? I have been building this article since I stepped into the BAU Times. I will do whatever it takes to finish it. If you want to go and take photos that anybody with an eye could, the door is right there. However if you want to stay on what could be the biggest breakthrough of the year I suggest you sit your ass down right now and get that attitude of yours in check.

“You have no right to scold me like I’m a fucking teenager. Why are you so invested in this? You are destroying yourself and everyone else that you meet for this, is it worth it? Tell me will it be worth it?” Elle was flamming. However through her anger, she had to admit this was the sexiest Jayje has ever looked. Still that did not soothe Elle’s temper.

“You don’t understand! You have no idea what I have sacrificed for this! I busted my ass every minute of my life for this! I won’t have some little no work ethic bitch tell me to stop!” Jayje and Elle were all up in each other's faces.

“Well then make me understand!” Elle screamed back.

Honestly if you asked Elle what happened next, she wouldn’t be able to answer you. She was so shocked by what had happened that she could barely process it. The second the words left her mouth Jayje grabbed her face and pulled her lips to her. Elle pulled away at first, before kissing her back. Elle couldn’t help but notice this was one of the best kisses she’s had. Suddenly, JJ pulled away looking like a kicked puppy. Without notice she started running out of the office before Elle could stop her. With a sigh and a hand to her lips that still tasted like her strawberry lipstick, Elle packed up her things and left the office.

The next day she thought it would be full of awkwardness and ignoring each other. Hell, Elle wouldn’t be surprised if Jayje finally decided to give up on this story. What she didn’t expect was for Jayje to have a board full of evidence and pacing in her office.

“Listen Elle I’m about to tell you two things that very few people know about me. The first is that I like girls. If you couldn’t tell by me kissing you last night,” she said with a little nervous laugh that never failed to melt Elle’s heart. “And I like kissing you. I like you Elle. The past three weeks have been stressful but I’m glad it was you by my side. I like you a lot and I want to go out with you, but before I ask you I need to tell you the reason this article is so important to me. My older sister was raped. The guy who did it was rich and he got a lawyer from Fisher King & Co. to not charge him. There was a shit ton of evidence and there was no way he got off. I overheard a phone call with his lawyer offering the judge money. He was found not guilty, and I found my dead sister in a bathtub the next day. She had killed herself. She knew she wouldn’t be able to face the people in our town and him everyday. So she didn’t. And I promised myself I would not give them the satisfaction of doing what they did to my sister to anyone else.” JJ now had tears on her face. Elle’s heart broke for her. Suddenly she knew the reason for the pain those beautiful blue eyes tried to hold.

“I have an idea,” Elle said in a low voice. “First we’re going to go on a date tonight, second we’re going to take Fisher King & Co. down to the depths of hell.”

It had been another two weeks since Elle said that. Her and Jayje were going great. They were both constantly enourmed with each other. When they weren’t making out they would be touching each other in some way. Most people would not think they had only been dating for two weeks. They did all the things a normal established couple did. Slow dancing in the kitchen together, check. Going to the movies, check. Helping the other take down a company, check. Okay so maybe not all of the things a normal couple did. But still. It was Elle and JJ. Elle lived for small little forehead kisses Jayje was obsessed with giving her. Jayje cherished the moments in the morning when Elle pulled her body closer to hers.

Elle and Jayje had been up all night. Not for the reasons they wished, but tomorrow was when their article was being published. Elle’s photos perfectly captured everything Jayje had wanted them to say. And Jayje’s writing, goddamn that girl could write. If Elle didn’t already love the blonde, she’s pretty sure she could just through her writing. Jayje had sent Elle home telling her to get some rest. However, she did not know that Randall Garner would be there waiting for her. Elle was shocked to see the CEO of Fisher King and Co. in her girlfriend’s living room. She tried not to let the surprise show on her face, but Elle couldn’t pull her mask up fast enough.

“Well if it isn’t Miss Greenaway. You know I am shocked to see you here, this late at night too. It looks like Miss Jareau has some explaining to do, doesn't she? You know I was going to make sure that article never sees the light of day and I think I know just the trick.” Suddenly he pulled out his gun and fired it at Elle before she could respond. The last thing she heard before she passed out was sobbing, and it sounded a lot like Jayje’s.

When Elle wakes up the first thing she notices is the pain in her chest. The second is the sweaty hand holding hers. She opened her eyes slowly. She couldn’t tell if the drugs she was on were what made Jayje look like an angel or if she was actually in heaven.

Jayje looks up with red rimmed eyes and the look of relief she gives Elle, makes her heart melt. “You once asked me if this article was worth it. And I was so sure it was. Falling in love with you solidified that, but it wasn’t worth it. Seeing you get hurt because of me,” Jayje took a shaky breath and had tears spilling out of her eyes, “that will never, ever be worth it. I am so sorry I did this to you.”

“Did what? Give me a woman I love? Give me the happiness I have been searching for my entire life? Because that is all you gave me. You gave me everything I wished I deserved. What is love without a few scars?”

“You’re hurt because of a mess I made, one that you knew I would. This isn’t just a few scars Elle, you almost died. I thought you were going to die. I thought I’d never give you the chance to say I love you.”

“I love you too. And this is not on you okay? This is on the man that pulled the trigger on me. Do not blame yourself for trying to help people.” Jayje let out a shaky nod, still overcome with emotions. “So how did the article do?”

This made Jayje let out a small smile. Elle could still tell she was riddled with guilt, as she was tracing stars on Elle’s hand and she recognized it as her nervous tell. “Amazing. People are writing stories about our story.” Jayje pulls out her phone and shows Elle. “Here, look at this.”

It was an article about them. It talked about how they took on Fisher King & Co. and how they fell in love.

“I wanted someone to know our story in case it was the end,” Jayje whispers. “You’ve been in a coma for the past week. The doctors weren’t sure if you were going to wake up. A reporter heard that we were together and you got shot and asked if I wouldn’t mind being interviewed. I didn’t know if you were gonna wake up so I said yes.”

“Trust me it could never be over. Jayje I love you too.” She pulled her hand to her lips, pressing a small kiss to it. And somehow even that smallest kiss sent sparks up and down them both. Huh, this is what love is, Elle thought. It wasn’t half bad.

#jelle #jennifer jareau #elle greenaway #nellies writing :/#please boost #i actually love this #grace i hope u like this

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marksinn · 3 years

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Passion Project: Inspiration

I don’t think I’m starting at the beginning with this post. Keep your eyes peeled for later posts that explain what I’m doing and why.

After a month of thinking about, sketching and painting designs, I have finally done something. Essentially, recently watching two films has pushed me into action, and a part of me is ashamed to admit it. There isn’t a word count or any typesetting to curtail my thoughts here, so strap in.

When I created this brief I figured I’d draw a million wee skateboards, colour a few of them in, then fling my favourites into Adobe illustrator and make them look good. From there I would take the 5 best up to the skatepark and ask some of the patrons there which designs stood out to them. Next, I would adapt the three front-runners and create sweet PhotoShop mockups that would show what my designs would look like as skateboards. If I had the time, inclination or money by the end of the project, I would have the design laid onto a real skateboard (I’ve been looking to buy a new one for some time) and then be proud of myself.

So I’ve drawn some wee skateboards. Then I started upscaling the designs onto the floorboards of my loft:

This was an exercise to let me see how small things need to be adapted to be blown up. Skateboards can have any level of detail that you like on them, I hadn’t considered this until I was trying to draw a semi-perfect triangle for the traffic cone, or until I was using chalk to recreate four cubes. It’s also been fun to work with different media on chipboard - I have learned that most kinds of pencil, paint, chalk and charcoal do not like being used on chipboard. Decorating paint, however, has no such issues. Thanks, Dulux!

And so, with a few of these under my belt, I decided to try some digital designs. So I jumped into Illustrator and totally ignored my sketchbook, coming up with three designs that were all inspired by the day I had just had. The top design, I’ll focus on last, for reasons that will become apparent (unless you follow me on Instagram, where you’ll already know that it’s an absolute hit, with over 19 likes already!). I was told by a guy at the skatepark that he likes decks with very basic designs, just a colour or two, nothing overly detailed. Another skater told me that he often likes the basic wood background with one small emblem or sticker just beside the wheels.

The duo-tone design felt nice, I’m usually one for over-complicating things. I definitely have an attitude of “If there’s more in it, there’s a greater chance someone will find something they like”. The first colour choice put my girlfriend in the mind of a hand-bag she had seen photographed in the arms of Carrie Fisher - it was designed to look like a Prozac pill. So I changed the colours up, and added the separating black lines and textures to give it some subtle character. I then went full meta with the Minimal design. And, if I’m being honest, I’m incredibly happy with how it looks like a wee character. Expect to see that making a comeback in the very near future. But the top design is what really got me going.

I’ve recently been watching...

...Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, and have been loving Miles Morales’ multiple hobbies of graffiti, mixing beats and saving his neighbourhood from a variety of dangers.

I then went to the cinema to see In The Heights, telling the tale of the Latin community during a blackout in North Manhattan. I found myself wrapped up in the romance, tribulations and music of the cast, and was felt oddly proud of Lin Manuel Miranda - who wrote this as a stage-musical while he was in college, had a modicum of success with it, then went on to create Hamilton, one of the most important musicals of our time. With the success of that particular show taking the entire world by storm, he was given the opportunity to make his old, relatively only semi-popular play into a blockbuster film. You can’t help but be inspired by someone like that.

I often find towards the end of a film I’m inspired by the characters’ journeys: be that from zero to hero, from lonely to loved or from rags to riches. Then I walk out and carry on with my normal life doing normal things. And as the hero of the story’s dreams all came true in the closing minutes (sorry for the spoiler, but it’s a musical, they rarely end in despair), a thought floated across my mind:

I’m utterly sick of being inspired

Now, to my credit, I did figure out in the car home that ‘tired’ would be a far more fitting and rhythmic word to use in this sentence, but this was a mentality that I found resonated really strongly with me. I’m very good at being inspired, I think most people are. We hear stories of people starting their own business, achieving some sporting brilliance or overcoming a personal hurdle and we say “Wow, isn’t that inspiring?” or

“It really inspires you to go out and make a difference!” or

“They are such an inspirational speaker!”

Then we go off about our day, not acting on the inspiration, and, for the most part, remaining uninspired. So I decided to act.

I did some very quick research (/acquiring of images of graffiti) in order to get the right shapes and textures to create a spray paint effect in Illustrator. I did some very quick research (/confirming the colours) of South American flags, taking the blue and red used in flags of the home nations of Miles Morales from Spider-Man and Usnavi from In The Heights. And I created the top design.

YES! I had been inspired and I had drawn a wee picture to show that - I had acted on my inspirations!

Then I looked to my left and spotted three, blank skate decks that I had bought on a whim from Re:Ply (a wonderful wee company who do a great deal of charity work supplying boards to people who need them, selling boards to people who can afford them, and for a very reasonable fee, providing unusable decks to people who want to use them for artistic purposes). I realised I hadn’t acted on my inspiration, I had just drawn a few pictures of skateboards with the eventual aim of PhotoShopping them onto other pictures of skateboards.

So I took myself...

... into the city centre with a shoddily prepared speech: “I’m looking for some cheap, small cans of spray paint. I’ve no idea what I’m doing, or if I’ll be good at it, so don’t want to invest too much into this.” Hiding behind this self-deprecating shield I barged into multiple art-, pound- and model-shops and pleaded with the staff to help a young idiot out. Amazingly, a very kind shop assistant pointed me in the direction of Fat Buddha, a clothes shop I’d always ignored as it seemed a bit to “...” for me. I don’t know what it seemed, but I knew it wasn't my kind of shop. Happy to prove me wrong, the guys in there were super helpful and they helped me buy my first cans of spray paint.

Now I’d spent money...

... and as a skinflint, that meant I had to get use out of my purchases. I had tricked myself into being inspired. Inspiration led me to the drawing, inspiration had led me to buy decks and the paint, now inspiration had to make me spray paint.

I’ll stop yammering on now. Essentially, I had planned on creating some analogue designs then digitising them (I’m guessing I should do a post on my brief, yeah? Might just upload the PDF to save me talking more), but then I found that I was doing the complete opposite. Genuinely accidentally. I had played with a few typefaces from various websites to get fonts that represented the ideas I wanted. The top one was semi-stolen (I can’t use the word ‘inspired’ any more in this post) from the end credits of In The Heights. The larger font is something of a nod to inspirational quotes you see on Facebook or on glittery frames in B&M.

I printed those out and cut them into stencils (very impressed that my digital boards have been drawn to a workable scale, thanks Maths). And after putting down a tack-layer (GRAFFITI JARGON (I think)) I sprayed the whole lot in blue.

Next, I tried to get a little fancy. Using cardboard blockers to create straight lines I added stars* (borrowed from the Puerto Rican flag) and made the bottom stripes vaguely reminiscent of America’s Old Glory.

I peeled the lettering off, and I’d done it. I may have to explain the overtly-negative inspirational quote to people, but to me it’s a clear sign that there’s no point in just being inspired, and that’s all I wanted.

A weight I didn’t know I was carrying was lifted from my shoulders. The plan was to possibly end up with a self-designed skateboard. And now I have one.

*Yes, I know they’re crosses.

#pp_hncgd1 #allhandsondecks #skateboard

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rumandtimes · 3 years

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Does Cultural Appropriation Apply to Natalie Portman?

Sean Ezersky

Assoc. Fantasy Contributor

Does appropriation apply to the worst parts of European cultures?

Today, I want to discuss cultural appropriation. Yes, the issue of the times. But what exactly is cultural appropriation? Well, nobody knows. Starting at the first word, it claims to be some kind of appropriation. And it has something to do with culture.

Firstly, it should be said that this article has nothing to actually do with cultural appropriation. That is because cultural appropriation is essentially defined by racism. The term first appears, so it goes, as a description of how racist citizens of England marginalised and exploited the peoples of the Caribbean, and attacked sections of the working class schtick, for fun. Sounds evil enough.

The term cultural appropriation cannot be used as a mild term or played around with much, because it is by definition a form of misconduct. The term cultural appropriation is defined by the words “inappropriate,” “racist,” and “commercialist.” There is no redeeming quality to cultural appropriation because cultural appropriation is used to describe exclusively irredeemable activity, markedly opposite to cultural exchange or respect.

Consider the worst perpetrator in the United Kingdom and the United States: hip-hop / rap music, curly hair, or a summer tan. Racists always attack these music genres and human characteristics un-European, placing them into the same box on the fringes of their minds, but at the same time view themselves as ‘cultured’ for dipping into the same music, view themselves as ‘interesting’ for factory curling their hair, or view themselves as ‘unique’ for getting a spray-on tan. There is a murderous and delirious sense of bad irony, that racists altogether marginalise, demonise, and lust after perfectly normal traits and human practices, which the racist calls exotic, for fear of being labelled as freaks themselves. That is cultural appropriation.

Another bad actor is the billion-dollar yoga industry in Western nations as well, which attempts at every corner to steal Indian culture then mutilate the original concept, taking the yoga gurus off the cover and planting in some body-bleaching whores, or some wavy Italian guy, to appeal to the racist American, à la youth female target audience. All the while, Hinduism, inextricable from yoga’s origins while not necessarily the same as yoga in any way, is viewed as a false and inexpiable religion by most people in the West. Yoga was not learned from the Hindu, it was looted, and replaced with a shallow, cruel, commercial, and disgraceful attempt to Europeanise and trivialise the hobby while selling it the crude sex markets. That is a form of cultural genocide and religion-sacking. That is cultural appropriation.

But this article is not about cultural appropriation, in a way. The distinction was only added to please those offended by the comparison. This article is about movies, as part of a series of Star Wars critiques, and it’s about Natalie Portman.

Long have I harboured a question about Natalie Portman’s career, as it is so vapid yet so prolific, so vain yet so ubiquitous. This is just the opportunity. Natalie Portman got her start in acting as a 16-year-old leading actress on Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. She returned three years later as a 19-year-old lead on Star Wars: Attack of the Clones, where her character dies. After moving on from the Star Wars prequels, she used that resume to enrol at Harvard University to study psychology.

She has actually commented on this, as all Harvard associates eventually do, saying she and her peers felt she was only enrolled because she was in Star Wars, and this insecurity led her to push harder than her friends in her classes and challenge herself by picking ‘harder-than-necessary’ classes. Still, psychology is the most common undergraduate degree major among women, so hardly original. Whether or not Natalie invites the assessment or feels it is correct, this is undoubtedly true; She, as most people, never would have been looked at by Harvard if she did not have some kind of bank of riches or wealth of limelight that could be mined by the admissions board. Natalie might want to be viewed as a genius of “Hebrew literature” who stood out among the crowd, but that is just impossible parlour speak. Not that she deserves to go to Harvard any less than anyone else, no one deserves to go to Harvard, as Harvard in the 20th Century existed for the sole purpose of excluding people who were not rich, famous, or connected: not academics, so Natalie’s lie to herself merely parrots Harvard’s lie to the world.

But I want to go back just a second. Yes, Natalie Portman said she studied Hebrew at Harvard, even if not intensely enough to double-major in it. That is because her name is not actually Natalie Portman. Her name is Neta-Li Herschlag, and she is Jewish. So, studying Hebrew isn’t impressive knowing she speaks fluent Hebrew at home. That is not to undermine literature, as English-speakers still study English literature, but it’s hardly extraordinary. Hershlag, as I will now be exclusively referring to her, is using her association to Harvard, Judaism, and other, lesser, things to seem smart, yet all of those were gifted to her by either birth or Star Wars.

Now comes the question of cultural appropriation. Neta-Li started her acting footprint as an understudy for the part of Elle Woods in Broadway plays. Yes, that Elle Woods, aside Britney Spears no less. It hardly seems like the right role for a good Jewish girl. But lo, there are some who might point out that Hershlag is an Ashkenazi, and therefore not actually Jewish, that is, not a Semitic person. This is a touchy subject for the Jewish community, particularly since the establishment of Israel: Who actually is Jewish, by means of ethnicity or heritage, and not just language and religion? Is there a meaningful distinction between the Semitic Jewish culture that remained in the Levant, the Sephardic Jewish culture that emigrated to Africa and Iberia, the Mizrahi Jewish culture in Iran and Arabia, the Yiddish Jewish culture that stuck around in Germany, and the Ashkenazi Jewish culture that settled Eastern Europe? Really, who knows, and that is a deeper question; a question, perhaps, for a student of Hebrew literature, wherever we should find one.

Nonetheless, Hershlag is most certainly not British. That Israeli-American nuance is fine for the world of “Naboo” in Star Wars, which ideally would defy every concept of the term “ethnicity,” but works less congruously for Elle Woods. In Star Wars, Hershlag was a doppelganger of Keira Knightly, a dyad which has persisted the entirety of Netali’s 30-year-long career. Here too, we find questions.

Netali gave an interview, which I discuss almost on a daily basis among my social circle, where she firmly wanted to establish herself as a kind of British legacy. She said, of herself, “I iron out my Jew curls” and bleaches/dyes her hair, for no particular reason other than she wants to, and thinks it will make her fit in. Netali also went on to say that no one has naturally yellow hair — which is true, they don’t — implying that a non-Jewish, European actress would not face the same questions about her hair she did. Because the concept of hair straightening and hair bleaching are Nazi holdovers in British and American culture, and as someone who personally hates Nazis, this endlessly infuriates me. All the more so because Hershlag identifies as Jewish!

If Hershlag thinks modifying her hair to make it look ‘more European,’ or, more correctly (since almost all young Europeans have brown hair), to make it look more Hitlerite, more ‘Arianised,’ is acceptable, then she must either view herself as European first and Jewish second, or just care very little about the legacy of antisemitic racism. Why else would a person who calls herself Jewish want to alter her appearance so drastically, in order to look like a posterchild for one of the Hitler Youth?

Many Jewish-Americans feel pressures of Nazi antisemitism and colonial racism in the United States, and many Ashkenazim respond to that by changing their names, Nazifying their looks, and abandoning the Jewish religion. Netali retains a veneer of her Jewishness on the inside, within her own self-perception, while turning into the Arianised version of the Elle Woods archetype on the outside, for the world to see. Is she just playing a part? Is there a real difference in the personality and values of Netali Hershlag vs. Natalie Portman?

People don’t treat her as such. Keira Knightly, for instance, is an Englishwoman. Knightly claims she is ‘British,’ not English, but she is definitely English. Intriguingly, Knightly never went to school, reportedly a dyslexic, while Hershlag, in the Jewish stereotype, went straight to Harvard College. I wouldn’t say Hershlag seems like a nice person, she seems like an ordinary person. Remember that she is part of the Star Wars pantheon of small-time actors who were lifted by George Lucas to notoriety, like Mark Hamill (despite him being my favourite Star Wars actor, I can never remember his name), Harrison Ford, and of course, Sir Alec Guinness CBE.

Jokes aside, with all the classically-trained, upper-class, heavy-hitters from Britain — Peter Cushing OBE, Sir Christopher Lee CBE, and Sir Alec — not to mention the affable nobodies from Hamill to Ford, most Star Wars people are considered likable, especially by fans of nerdom.

That is not to say anyone was struggling, as every lead character in Star Wars was already documented as rich and famous by the time they were cast, but they were “nobodies” in the sense they were not household names until after the film became one of the first Hollywood summer “blockbusters” in history.

Most of all, it is undeniable that, other than Lucas, no one defined the Star Wars films as much as Carrie Fisher, if not for a want of contrast. Fisher was the only female character in all three of the movies, and both the predecessor and counterpart to Hershlag’s character in the Star Wars prequels. Does Hershlag meet the comparison?

The two are very different, both personally and on-screen. Fisher at the age of 19 had sex with numerous middle-aged members of the cast, often the only female and only teenager in a room of dozens of men, forbidden to wear a bra or choose her own hairstyle but allowed to partake in the rumoured plethora of drugs on the set. Hershlag, part of Star Wars from 16 to 19, was entirely unremarkable, both in life and profession, not a very impressive actor or much of a hoot. Again, the good Jewish girl. Some blame Netali’s poorly role on the weakness of the prequels compared to the originals, just as some blame Carrie’s bipolar diagnosis for her eccentricity. Both of these are half-truths, as personality and talent can never be substituted for anything other than what they are. Nonetheless, Fisher and Hershlag were both made rich and famous. While Hershlag is the lesser in terms of her performance, she probably got in the end a much better long-term deal.

A boring role meant Netali would not be immediately typecast, though she went on to play exclusively the girl-next-door leading female interest for a male protagonist, much the same as in Star Wars: Episode II. Coming into acting younger meant she could largely leave acting after childhood, then return to it later as an adult experience. Moreover, we never got to see teenage Netali chained to a bed in a gold bikini.

Our good, Jewish girl.

So, if Hershlag is playing roles given mostly to British, or Hitlerite, actresses, is she not taking away from the British actor? There are too many actors in the world. They are overexposed and over paid, seen too much and given too much, as they are in the same camp as clowns, entertainers, and comedians. But, people like to be entertained, and in the world of capitalism where only money is worship in lapse of dignity, anything people like sells, and anything that sells can make people rich, and riches are a substitute for class, if only a thin one. Just as the weak-minded can be fooled by the Force, so are they easily bought and sold. The British or American actor suffers for nothing, and there are too many of them as it is.

But, does Hershlag have a place in displacing them, or moulding in to become one of them? And would it be cultural appropriation? Undeniably, Netali is conforming to something objectionable when she plays simple roles as sex objects and Hitlerite women, embracing if not embodying the racism and problematic nature of Hollywood casting. But then again, it is with her very body that she represents this trend. One could defend Hershlag, saying she is made to do these things, that she is not so much appropriating Western culture for her ends, but more so that Western culture is stifling her true self, at least if she wants to continue to have a role in acting.

An interesting counter-point, but undermined by Hershlag’s particular brand of coy self-promotion, and eagerness in taking on such roles. And are the Jewish people entirely exploited by Hollywood? In many respects, so-called Europeans are exploited by powerful Jewish moguls in media more often than the other way around, even if they are Jewish Europeans themselves. Harvey Weinstein, a Jewish millionaire who sexually assaulted non-Jewish Western women in order to get them roles, his Jewishness hardly made a ripple.

The biggest names in Hollywood: Steven Spielberg, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jerry Seinfeld, Paul Rudd, Marta Kauffman, J.J. Abrams, Scarlett Johansson, Harrison Ford, John Stewart, Louis Szekely, Mila Kunis, Daniel Radcliffe, Rachel Weisz, Gal Gadot, Roseanne Barr, Judd Apatow, Marcus Loew, Lauren Bacall, Adam Sandler, Amy Schumer, Larry David, Daniel Day-Lewis, Cassidy Freeman, Stanley Kubrick, Jennifer Connelly, Richard Dreyfuss, Samuel Goldwyn, Julia Garner, Elijah Allan-Blitz, Kirk Douglas, Ellen Barkin, Ingrid Pitt, Darren Aronofsky, Eva Green, David Geffen, Lesley Ann Warren, Paul Newman, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ben Stiller, Louis B. Mayer, Alison Brie, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Chuck Lorre.

As Conan O’Brien jokingly stated: “The Cash-ews run Hollywood.” Almost every major production in Hollywood has a massive Jewish section of development. The United States, for whatever reason, is a majority “Christian-identifying” country, but Judaism plays a much more massive role in the culture than Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism combined. Even most of the agnosticism in ‘progressive’ Hollywood values comes largely from material secularism, or Jewish incredulity of Christianity, not an ideological pull towards atheism. Is this cultural reproachment why Jewish people are pulled towards media and entertainment, theatre being a known haven for outcasts and oddballs? The Judeo-Protestant alliance of the Hollywood ilk would seem to disqualify the established Jewish community — rich, interconnected, secular Jewish communities of New York, Los Angeles, and DC — from being an oppressed mass.

An important editor’s note is that the actors listed are: Jewish people who adopt non-Jewish appearances or non-Jewish values to a borderline-racist degree (i.e. Eva Green: Jewish actress who plays roles bookmarked for non-Jewish Europeans), thoroughly Jewish people who refuse to identify as Jewish (i.e. Julia Louis-Dreyfus: Jewish billionaire heiress who plays Jewish characters on TV), or regular observers of Judaism who are really, really famous (i.e. J.J. Abrams: co-director of the controversial Star Wars reboot).

More often behind the scenes than on-screen, but usually leading the show when taking a starring role, the Jewish imprint is inseparable from American movies, media production, television, the comedy scene, finance, and screenwriting. Is Jewish not the ruling order of Hollywood? And then would Europeans be the group on the margins? But why, if Jewish people write, pay for, and put on the shows, are there so few Jewish actors, and of those who are, why do they not look Jewish, or a better question would be, why do they try to avoid looking Jewish, and actively attempt to look Western European? That gives the impression that Jewish people are still marginalised in media, even if they are overrepresented in media, and generally more affluent, interconnected, and educated than those non-Jewish counterparts. Why do Jewish people go out of their way to appeal to racist audiences, and in the process erase their own Jewishness.

Maybe it is because the Hollywood Jewry isn’t actually Jewish. Nothing about their jobs or their behaviours embodies the Jewish religion. Most people in Hollywood in general consider themselves as nonreligious, yet that too, might be an influence of a markedly Jewish trait. Non-Christians in the United States are much more likely to turn to atheism and agnosticism on the one hand or fanatical extremism, likely due to being outcast by the mainstream Protestant dialogue, with liberal Jewish people often going agnostic and conservative Catholics often going supercharged while Muslims live on somewhere off in the shadows of public perception.

Yet nonreligious Jewish people still identify as Jewish, separating the religion of Judaism from the ethnic mark. Faith has nothing to do with appearance, and appearance is the base of antisemitism. Enter non-Jewish-looking Jewish people, usually women with heat-flattened hair, like Netali Hershlag and Gal Greenstein Godot. That is not to say they don’t look Jewish, as in an equal measure they all do and at the same time no one does, since what a Jewish person “looks like” is a narrow heuristic based on problematic cultural expectation. That is not to say they are or aren’t Jewish. But are Jewish people like Natalie Portman being forced to conform to racist society, or are they jumping on the bandwagon of racist society and using it to their advantage? Is there actually a difference between the two?

There is a deeper question lying beneath the surface here: The questions of “Jewish complicity in racism?,” “Jewish participation in neo-Nazism?,” and “If ‘Jew’ is a ‘race’ and ‘White’ is a ‘race’ then why are there ‘White’ and ‘non-White’ Jews?,” which other people have asked before. This article is not to address those questions, but they are acknowledged.

Certainly, there are some Jewish people who attach themselves to racist tendencies and Hitlerite habits out of personal advantage in the racist countries in which they might live. In this narrative, the notional collaborator Jewish community would blame the Europeans for racism and cast themselves as convenient survivors. That is not a uniquely Jewish trait, it is a flawed human trait, bystanderism, which defies religious teachings. Why there is such a prevalence among rich, secular Jewish people, of racism mixed with liberalism, is a concern. It could be as simple that, at a certain point, the trait “rich” might start to cancel out the trait “religious.” Old guard antisemites would be unforgiving regarding hatred towards ‘ethnic Judaism,’ and contemporary racist sentiments would reject Jewish people from the points of heritage and beliefs, but it is not immediately clear if Western neo-Nazis would target non-religious Jewish people who, quote, “pass” as Euro-Christians.

If Ashkenazim, Sephardim, and Mizrahim join Western cultures, ideals, and appearances while abandoning the Jewish religion, are they functionally Jewish at all? In the absence of different brands of generational antisemitism, what is holding back an atheist Ashkenazi from becoming a Nazi themself? The Jewish community and Israel critics have been ablaze with debate about the Eurocentric, Ashkenazim-focused account of Judaism in the West, drawing attention to the issue of inter-Jewish racism and inequality among the diaspora of the Jewish faithful. This question is debated separately for Jewish communities because unity is their faith. Followers of Christianity have always cut one another down over heresies and infidelities, but discourse and diversity have defined the post-Rabbinic tradition. The notion of one Jewish diaspora being more powerful than another, based not even on secularism such as in Christianity, but based solely on racism and adjacency to Christian empires, causes non-Ashkenazi Jewish communities to question that proximity in values and appearance Western Ashkenazi populations have with the goyish counterparts. Even the terms Ashkenazi and Mizrahi have taken fundamentally racist connotations, particularly in the advent of Zionism, to separate the ‘European Jewish’ from the ‘Arabian Jewish,’ in a kind of wartime apartheid of academia; a conflict emblematic of larger paradoxes in modern Israel.

This is not the focus of this article. Obviously, Jewish people living in Western Europe and urban America are more “Western” than people who live somewhere else. And obviously, Western nations have a serious and prolonged issue with racism. However, welding those two facts together, then conflating them with Judaism in some sense, would be a mistake.

There are some racist people in Hollywood who identify as, or are identified as, Jewish. That is not the question. The question is: How does the concept of cultural appropriation contribute to that complex dynamic, of conformity and exploitation in Hollywood, even amongst the big names?

This all comes back to the perceptual balance of power. Just as the term cultural appropriation is defined as a group being in a oppressive position and exploiting something that that group itself has made derogatory.

Is Netali Hershlag appropriating Western culture? In a way, yes. As a rich, powerful Jewish actress, she could hardly be said to be put at a disadvantage to Keira Knightly (Harvard versus dropout, remember), or the millions of aspiring brown-haired actresses who are shunned from Hollywood castings. And yet, she decides to look more like them. Obviously, as an ordinary woman herself, she has been victim to the usual sexism and obsessive demands of producers and directors concerning appearances, but that is hardly so say she is a victim. At any moment, she could deign to take a different part or produce her own movies (I would balk to call them films), rather than be typecast as the sexy and innocent girl-next-door. She lives the life of the good Jewish, girl, but never takes on those types of roles, opting instead for Princess Amidala, ballerina Nina Sayers, valley girl Elle Woods, comic book Jane Foster, or Englishwoman Anne Boleyn. Hershlag could at any moment leave acting to climb the ladder a Harvard A.B. clears the way for. How could Harvard Law School, or subsequently the California Democratic caucus, say no? Who wouldn’t pay for a doctor’s visit with the woman from V For Vendetta?

This is not to say that Jewish people are appropriating or imposing themselves upon Westerners, but it is to say that there is a distinct group of Jewish people who draw from Western or Hitlerite practices while entirely avoiding ‘Juden-haus’ or ‘Euro-trash’ rhetoric that hampers people on both sides of the racist conflict. Portman is Netali’s grandmother’s name, so she does have some kind of loose claim to it, if her cousins are still go by that name and she is close with them, while Natalie is a form of the name Neta-Li, and plenty if not most actors use stage names. Many people do racist or questionable things because they are in fashion. But altogether, one must ask the question why the self ascribed curly-haired Netali Hershlag is appearing is French wig and makeup commercials. Is it raw, unidealistic money? Is it Maybelline? Or it is fake hair, fake lashes, and a fake identity?

Natalie Portman is hardly an inspiring figure for women, playing roles subservient to men, often murdered by her lovers or terribly afflicted herself. This is true in Star Wars, Black Swan, Thor, V For Vendetta, and when she played the wife of wife-killer Henry VIII. Where is the liberty in being bedded by an uxoricidal maniac, be it a tired British period piece, or the obsessive Anakin Skywalker? Body modification of any type is not the product or respect or exchange, and can only be looked down upon as unnecessary and insecure. Acting is lying, but that does not mean the actress must change their looks or change their self to read some lines to a camera.

#Natalie Portman #Hollywood #Judaism #Cultural Appropriation #Star Wars

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sons-of-the-morning-star · 3 years

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DISCLAIMER FOR ANY SENSITIVE READERS: This series is going to deal with heavy topics like abandonment, death, guilt, grief, and a lot of other stuff; this first chapter in particular is probably going to be pretty heavy for the same reason.

I will be writing this is present tense and will be constantly be saying, "if this was a show, this would happen or this is what we see," both because I originally thought of it as a show and because this is a screenplay, but more narratively cohesive.

Got that? GREAT!!!

Let's dive in!!!!!!!!!

Chapter/Episode 1: Union- Part 1

We start off in darkness with the sound of crackling fire in the background. One by one, a red light shines and silhouettes five figures, all standing in a circle as they face each other. If this was a show, the camera would be behind one of these figures as he and the other figures eye each other.

He starts a fire in his hand and two figures bristle while the other two back away-

An alarm clock blares out and we cut to a dark bedroom in a hotel suite, like the sound of the alarm woke US up, along with the character sleeping, who groans as his alarm keeps blaring.

After MAYBE the fifth chime, he sighs and slaps the alarm clock off, his arm slipping down his nightstand and droppong to the side of his bed.

His hand curls into a fist as the door is knocked on.

"Mr. Wagner? Are you awake yet?"

Yes! We start with our boy Lucius Wagner!

Lucius loudly humms, "Mm-hm" and sits up.

"You have an interview at nine', a meeting at a quarter to noon, and a conference at five'. Looks like another busy day."

He hears the person- man, woman, it doesn't matter- walk away and stands up from his bed to pull the curtain to his room back only to wince when the light hits his face.

It's too early for the sun to be so bright.

Despite being tired and not wanting to write to people because he can't talk, Lucius gets ready for his day.

Back to what we'd see if this was a show: the camera would be on Lucius as he stares out at the city before he takes a deep breath and turns away. Jump cut to the camera behind and away from Lucius as he turns and walks to the bathroom, turning on the TV before he starts getting ready, more specifically the news.

The camera stays on the TV as we learn Lucius, despite his young age of 22, is running for senator just like his human father did, but he is more successful because not only has crime rate already decreased, but any political opponents he goes against stepped down within minutes of the debate or conference he's in. With no evidence of bribery or any other scandal involved, as criminals are being found dead, one being brought up in todays broadcadt, Lucius is on his way to becoming Sentator of not only Massachusetts, but of the United States as a whole.

We do a transition from Lucius's room to the scene where the camera zooms in on the TV screen as it shows a body under a blanket and we hear the click of a camera and the lens shutters close and open.

On the streets, we now follow Damien Thorn as he gets as close as he can to the scene and the body. He has been investigating these 'accidents' since the arrival of everyone's favorite new politician, who has never spoken a word on camera, never said anything to or against his opponents, and never spoke during interviews. And somehow he's running for senator. Since it seems fishy to him, and because he keeps getting a sick feeling in his stomach when he sees Lucius on the news, he decided to start digging by tracing the criminals who have died and anyone who stepped down from conferences.

The body he is investigating today is a fisher from the town Lucius grew up in, who was charged for numerous cases of assault and fraud.

He is stopped by a police officer when he tries to cross the police tape.

"Sorry, that's close enough."

"It's for the paper. People want to know what's going on."

"They don't need to see this."

Damien scowls as his eyes go black, uttering a "sorry" as he stares the officer down.

The officer's face goes expressionless and just as he lifts the tape, the announcer gets a breaking report.

"This just in! An earthquake near the United Kingdoms has caused the south western quarter of England and Wales to be flooded and taken out to sea!"

Cut back to Lucius in his room as he chokes and gags on his toothbrush; if you've ever hit the back of your tongue while brushing your teeth, you'll get why he gags. He walks out, mouth kind of full of toothpaste and his toothbrush in his teeth, and sees an over head view of the map, showing just how much of England has been wiped out.

For context, here is what was taken out, circled in red⬇️⬇️

Lucius's eyes widen as he takes out his toothbrush.

I'm not good with fractions, but a third or fifth of England is now gone. And-

"While it is right now unknown how many are injured or missing, authorities have reported countless victims were lost in the catastrophe."

Lucius turns off the TV and finishes getting ready, a time jump/transition of Lucius going to the bathroom to spit out the toothpaste and then transitioning to him looking up from washing his face, like he leans down to spit out the toothpaste wearing no shirt and with some shower head, but when he leans back up, he's in a black dress shirt, about to tie his tie, his hair is tidy, and he is rubbing his face dry with a towel.

Part of England gone. Just like that.

It's a pretty shocking thing to imagine, with possibly hundreds or thousands of people being wiped out in the blink of an eye and the cause somehow being an earthquake.

Seems sort of fishy, if you ask me.

Lucius tries shrugging it off as he leaves his room, dressed to impress, and heads out for breakfast and his interview.

Cut to a pair of men walking on the sidewalk, the white-blonde haired one panicked and finicky while his red haired partner is swaggering beside him with a briefcase. The more brightly dressed man keeps "oh"-ing and whimpering , which is driving his more darkly attired kind of insane.

An angel and a demon.

If you've seen Good Omens, you KNOW who there two are

"Angel, stop muttering. You sound like you're summoning Satan himself."

"What if we can't find him? And what if he says 'no?'"

"We'll make him say 'yes.'"

Aziraphale looks down at the briefcase and then nods.

"And just how are we going to find him?"

"We found the antichrist once. We can find him again."

Aziraphale stops and gives him a withering look.

"Another one. We can find another one."

SPEAKING OF THE DEVIL'S SON!!!

Just as the two continue, they bump into a certain photographer that makes Aziraphale shudder like he's just gotten into an ice bath and Crowley smell either blood or smoke.

This wasn't what Crowley had in mind, but it's a start.

"Oi! 'Scuse me!"

Damien turns as he keeps walking. "Sorry, I have to hurry to..."

Aziraphale now starts trembling and Damien gets a sick feeling in his stomach, not like with seeing Lucius, like he has an air bubble in his stomach or really bad period cramps.

Crowley narrows his eyes behind his sunglasses and steps closer.

"Where you off to so quickly?"

Damien fights a gag as he continues to back away. "I-Interview. Wagner's see-seeing someone. Im-Important for the news."

Crowley steps closer and pulls Damien close by his color, making Damien pale and fall to his knees.

"Lucius Wagner?"

Damien nods.

Aziraphale and Crowley exchange glances before looking back at Damien, Aziraphale taking the briefcase away so Damien can recompose himself.

Cut to Lucius in the middle of his interview, which is being recorded on the news. So far he has been asked the basic political questions and he gave the correct answers to get people to love him. Then comes in ANOTHER breaking news report.

Part of California, Arizona, and New Mexico has also been flooded, but there aren't as many people missing as England.

"Mr. Wagner? How do you see yourself helping the families that are now broken by this tragedy?"

Before Lucius can answer, two people catch his eye.

Like when Damien saw him, Lucius gets a sick feeling in his stomach until he sees two young men, one scowling with wavy blond hair and the other with brown hair and the giddiest smile on a boy.

Suddenly, a member of the crowd pulls a gun out and shoots at Lucius, who throws himself and the woman he's interviewing with to the ground.

The blond smirks and the brunette grows angry.

The shooter gets a look of pure despair on his face as he drops to his knees letting the police drag him away.

Lucius is escorted away instead gets a call.

His schedule has changed completely. He must now go a military base, where a private jet is waiting for him to take him home; his address is classified to the public, so no one knows where he lives.

Cut to Lucius walking through a crowd as he tries to get to his jet, trying his best to wave at the paparazzi and camera people.

"Mr. Wagner, if you'll let me ask you-"

The man who asked grabs Lucius's arm and the two meet eyes. You know that part of the forst Lucius game where time freezes and you see your target with the screen tinted red? Lucius and Damien met eyes and time freezes entirely as they stare at each other and feel the growing urge to kill each other.

They don't hear anyone or anything. They only see each other.

Both are wide eyed as they realize who or what the other is and glare at each other.

Luckily, a body guard punches Damien away and helps Lucius to the jet, where he takes his seat and lets out a breath as he loosens his tie and tips his head back.

"So sorry for all that, Mr. Wagner, sir."

Lucius looks over to see someone like an air flight attendant and writes them a message.

'Don't worry about it. I've had worse happen.'

"Well, at least you're headong home, after all this."

Lucius nods and leans back once more, getting comfortable for his flight to home sweet home.

It's a relatively short flight, mostly because we'd see a timelapse of the sky and Lucius napping in his seat before we cut to him in his house.

Being a senator in the running, Lucius is on a very nice house, one he keeps clean and well furnished. Think Lucifer's penthouse in the shiw Licifer, but it's an actual house and doesn't have a wall of alcohol, just a small cabinet in his parlor and shelf in his fridge.

He turns on a light and nearly jumps out of his skin when he sees Crowley sitting in his living room.

"Hello, Me. Wagner. Nice flight?"

Lucius recomposes himself and raises an eyebrow as he holds a hand out. 'How did you get in here?'

"Just a bit of miracle work from a demon. Takes one to know one, right?"

Lucius takes a seat as he writes a message, showing it to Crowley with narrow eyes.

'I don't exactly know who you are, but you don't have the right to make an accusation like that.'

"You're one of the sons of Satan, I'm pretty sure I do."

'My father was Charles Wagner.'

"Ah, yes, the loon that killed your mother and his own staff while you were sent to the nut house."

'He tried to kill me.'

"Eye for an eye, you prat."

Lucius's eye twitches as he snaps his pen in half, eyes going red.

Crowley only smirks and removes his sunglasses, revealing his snake eyes, befire putting them back on; the lights Lucius has are bright.

Lucius settles and grabs another pen from the coffee table and writes a new message.

'Antony J. Crowley? It's about time London's famed has paid the US a visit.'

"You would think." Crowley leans forward until his elbiws are on his knees. "Look, you're not going to like this, but there's something we need your help with."

Lucius gets up and shakes his head before leaving a messge on the table, and to go the the kitchen to get a drink; like hell he's dealing with CROWLEY sober.

'I don't know if you've noticed, but I have a country I'll be running soon. I don't exactly have time to help you or your pet angel.'

Crowley snarls and follows Lucius to see the young man about to take a sip of a drink.

"Don't you think it's weird that parts of England and America are just gone? That the ocean just took them away and an earthquake was the cause?"

Lucius pauses and lowers his drink slightly, eyes on Crowley as he nods and gestures for the snake eyed demon to continue.

'I'm listening.'

And that will be it for part 1 of Chapter/Episode 1!!!! Man, was this fun to write!!!! Like I said, this is just part 1 and I will be continuing with Chapter/Episode 1 Part 2, I promise!

Sorry for all the yelling, I'm really excited!!

Thank you all so much for reading this and I hope you all have a happy and safe holiday season!!!

#sons of the morning star #lucius wagner #damien thorn #michael langdon #adam young #jack kline #crossover

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navigatrixnarrations · 4 years

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A Matter of Some Urgency (version)

Because my brain is Like That, I dashed off another version of the first meeting of our disaster pirates, this time from Hope’s perspective.

As always, bigger-than-life appreciation for @whenimaunicorn. Her incredible The Heart of Admiration series thus far can be found here.

Word count: 1679

Warnings: None

Hope Wickham pauses outside the tavern. She is not fully convinced that she’ll be able to save the lives of her crewmates. For that matter, she is not entirely certain she’ll leave this meeting with her own life, but she has to try. To her shock, her crew elected her quartermaster, a position to which she had most certainly not nominated herself, and now it’s her duty to protect them as best she can.

When she asked her old friend DeGroot to set up an urgent meeting with the captain of the Ranger, the man had made a wry face. “Ready to move on from Fisher, are you? Find work with a captain who has true technical sailing skill?” She shrugged noncommittally, not wanting to let on her real purpose but not willing to lie to him. DeGroot, she knew from her apprenticeship, is not one to give compliments easily or falsely. “True technical sailing skill” is as ringing an endorsement as anyone could ask for.

“What manner of man is Captain Vane?”

DeGroot looked thoughtful. “I’m sure you’ve heard his reputation as a brute and a brawler, and it’s well-deserved, but he keeps his word. Sailed with Teach for years. Respects skill. Deals fairly with those who deal fairly with him. You wouldn’t be the only woman on his crew.”

He returned shortly after with the message to meet Vane at the tavern, as soon as she could get there. And so there was nothing for it but to trust DeGroot’s assessment of the man, square her shoulders, and try to make an entrance to remember.

Years on the account had taught Hope that dealing with other pirates as a small-boned woman requires a certain amount of swaggering bravado. She flings open the tavern door, cocks one hip out, and stands there for a moment, silhouetted, as she scans the room for a man matching the description DeGroot had given her. Ah, there he is, watching her approach his table in an alcove at the rear of the room. She feels an unexpected jolt in her stomach as she locks eyes with him, but this wouldn’t be the first time she’s had to ignore her nerves, would it.

"Captain Vane?"

He nods, and she continues. "I'm quartermaster of the Starling. I believe you're expecting me." She removes the pistol and long knife from her belt and places them on the table in front of him, a sign that she has come in peace.

He gestures for her to sit across from him and signals the barmaid to bring her a drink then gives her a hard look from beneath his brow. "What's this about?" He could sand the deck with his voice, she thinks, but it isn’t unpleasant to the ear.

"A certain item of yours has come into my possession. I'm here to return it to you." She hands him a burlap sack containing his black. She had been appalled when a couple of the more rambunctious members of her crew came back to camp having stolen it from the Ranger. It wouldn't do for them, new to Nassau, to start their time here by making an enemy of the most notoriously violent captain on the island.

Vane looks inside the sack to examine his colors. Hope had ensured it wasn’t damaged, and she had folded it carefully. When he comes to that conclusion as well, he turns that heavy gaze back to her. "What do they call you, quartermaster of the Starling?"

She meets his piercing stare with her own, unflinching. "They probably call me a lot of things when I can't hear them." She is sure she sees him suppress a smile at that. So the man has a sense of humor beneath that steely demeanor. Good. She holds out her hand for a shake. "Hope Wickham."

"Why did your captain send you, Miss Wickham, instead of approaching me himself?"

She frowns, but doesn't rise to the bait. "He didn't send me," she says coolly. "He has no idea any of this happened. I'm meeting with you of my own accord and in my own capacity to try to protect my crew."

Vane’s silence as he sips his ale has a pointed quality to it. He’s waiting for her to elaborate.

"I may be new to Nassau, but I'm by no means new to the account. Captain Fisher and the rest of the crew are used to doing things a certain way, and don't yet understand that Nassau has rather different understandings of acceptable behavior for those under the black than does Tortuga. On Tortuga, this would be seen as a prank by a new crew seeking to position itself and a score easily settled without much bloodshed. Unlike them, I know that is not the way of things here."

Vane narrows his eyes. "How do you know how we do things here?"

"I apprenticed with Mr. DeGroot. We stay in touch." The corners of her mouth turn up in a wry smile, unable to contain her amusement at the absurdity of the situation. "I realize that he is nobody's first, second, or tenth choice for a tutor in etiquette, but," she gestures broadly, "we live in a world of wonders."

She’s gratified to see Vane smiling back at her, ever so slightly. It changes his entire face, and she can almost imagine that they are having a friendly drink together. "So you're a trained navigator, then?"

"I am."

He also seems to remember that this is not a social call. The smile drops from his face, which returns to its forbidding scowl, and he hunches forward enough to give the impression of looming over her without getting up. For a moment she wonders if he’s going to lunge across the table and attack her. "Members of your crew snuck onto my ship, stole my black, and they did it so badly that someone saw them getting away. So let me tell you what happens next."

Hope has learned to never, ever show fear when facing down a man, so she doesn't quail from his ferocious growl, from his coiled posture that makes him appear to be a predator about to pounce. Only long practice allows her to meet his icy glare directly. "Who saw them?"

"My quartermaster and his matelotage." Is he taken aback by the question? He’s clearly a man used to being obeyed. Yet he answered her...

She tilts her head, considering. "Anyone else?"

Vane grunts and leans back in his chair. "No."

Hope nods to herself. "Can you trust their discretion?"

"With my life." She sees him follow the course she’s plotted with her questions. "You're going to ask who else on my crew knows it was gone."

She shrugs as if to say you caught me. "Well, who else does?"

"Only them." She opens her mouth to speak but he cuts her off. "Regardless, you know I cannot let your crew's insult go unanswered. I’ve a reputation to maintain, a captaincy I do not intend to lose."

"Nor do I expect you to. However, by returning your black undamaged, along with compensation for the," she pauses and bites her lip, considering her next words, "inconvenience you've been put through by this unfortunate breach of propriety, I trust this need not be a killing offense." She takes a bulging coin purse from her coat pocket and pushes it across the table to him.

Vane opens it and quirks a scarred brow at the amount of coin within. "Is this from the Starling's collective savings?"

"No. It's my personal share from our last prize." It had been a lucky take, that last prize, larger than most of the Starling’s, but there’s no reason to tell Vane that.

He places both hands on the table and leans forward abruptly. Hope feels her eyes widen as she assesses the threat and she quickly schools her expression. Vane’s voice drops to a near-whisper that puts her in mind of a cat’s purr. "My turn to ask the questions. Who else knows that your crew had my black?"

She leans forward as well, close enough to take in details of the trinkets braided into his long hair. "As far as I know, nobody." She keeps her voice as low as his, matter-of-fact. "My crew hasn't bragged, because they didn't get a chance to parade your colors on the beach. I made certain of that. And they won't now, not after I've relieved them of it. The ones who took your black are young and foolish. I've revoked their shore privileges for the time being, until they can show they won’t be shitheads to other crews if they come into town." Oh, they hadn't liked it at all, being returned to the Starling to assist the carpenters with some much-needed repairs to the ship while their brothers celebrated the take in Nassau, but they stopped complaining when Hope explained in a reasonable tone that the alternative was approaching Vane themselves to return his black. Or perhaps they wished for Vane to seek them out?

Vane’s expression turns pensive for a moment as he mulls over what she told him. "They know you're returning it to me?"

Hope forces herself to continue to meet that intense blue stare. "Yes. If they don't like it, they can elect a new quartermaster. However, they agreed when I explained my reasoning as to why keeping it would not be in their best interests."

"And DeGroot. Does he know why you asked him to arrange a meeting?"

"He didn't ask. I didn't tell." She lets out a laugh at the memory of DeGroot’s dismayed yet proud expression when he thought she was going to work for his captain’s foremost rival. “I let him think I'm here to ask you for a job, just to irritate him."

A long moment passes as she watches Vane weigh his options. Has she convinced him?

He pushes the purse back across the table to Hope. "Keep it. Buy the next round and we'll call it square."

#charles vane x oc #charles vane x ofc #whenimaunicorn #black sails fic #the heart of admiration fic #charles vane imagine

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lady-plantagenet · 3 years

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Ship bingo: Anne Boleyn & Henry VIII (I know, I'm not the most original person in this site); and Eleanor Cobham & Humphrey of Gloucester

Hey hey sorry for answering this shipbingo so late hh. Hope you’ll still be interested in my odd and headcanon-y analyses. Since you requested 2 I will write shorter comments if ur ok with that :) x

Anne Boleyn & Henry VIII

‘I broke England from the Church yeah I really am that secksy’ or something along the lines is said by Anne’s character in Six: The Musical. I sorta resent that. I’m not very passionate about this ship nor do I take any ‘sides’, but I must admit I’m more partial to Catherine of Aragon and consider her to be Henry’s true love. The odd thing is, this is also cause a part of my feels like Anne was in some ways to good/evolved for him?? We all know the whole seductress Anne trope or poor set-up pawn Anne, we don’t know which are true but one thing we know for sure is that there was ‘pious outspoken religious reformer Anne’ and that’s what I am more interested in. My admiration grew 1000x when I realised she was heavily critical with where the desolution of the monastery funds were going - how they enriched ministers and lackeys of Henry as opposed to going towards schools. I say all this because my mental Anne Boleyn might be a bit different from most people’s and that will influence how I also see this ship.

I guess the above paragraph explains the ‘I’m picky about it part’, I hate anything that is major baby drama. Delicious and intrigued are oddly left out because I don’t really feel that myself though I understand why others would. It is perhaps because it’s such an overportrayed relationship and because by the time it became a thing Henry was already kind of obese I believe. Sue me, I like both my ship parties to be attractive XD. I would read fic for it just like I would read anything provided it is well written enough. I’m currently reading ‘Chained in War and Love’ by Lady Perserverence on AO3 (you know that one really famous fic in the Tudor fandom) which I suppose counts but since it’s a Francois I of France/Anne Boleyn AU I guess it doesn’t count (and I much prefer this pairing). This ship is one of those historical pairings where it’s hard to deny it was not romantic and sexual, one must remember that there must have been something about Anne in particular that attracted Henry and her educational background was unusually worldly for a woman of minor English nobility, given the fact that she could very well have been 32 (and age which is considered old for motherhood even by our times) by the time she married Henry simply put there must have been a romantic/sexual attraction beyond just her being fertile. She, herself, may have also had reason to feel attracted to him (despite his fatness) because he appears to have exuded the character of a Renaissance Prince which I feel she could have been drawn towards.

To be honest the ‘it’s complicated and unhealthily’ kind of speak for themselves. I feel like a part of the breakdown went beyond her not being able to hear a son because he does not seem to have properly tried like he did with Catherine of Aragon - the marriage was only three years long. I also feel like he was a bit too set in the past for her and she may have felt disillusioned with how he carried out the reformation. I also feel like Henry thought he would find a woman with Catherine’s brand of strength but with an ability to bear children, but despite both women having education in common Anne’s Protestant beliefs made her someone entirely different. Their feelings were strong but they clearly were not made for each other. With that said, theology fasincates me so to an extent I am more interested in the consequences (the reformation and how it changed the fabric of England) then even the ship itself - that is not to say the ship doesn’t interest me. And yes. I could/want to be convinced that this ship is interesting but if anyone wants me to get on board you will have to first throw off ‘seductress Anne’ or ‘poor maligned pawn Anne’. Only mercurial Henry and reformer Anne will do for me. With that said, I really wouldn’t mind the unrequited love trope thrown in there but with Anne accepting him only because Cromwell and co convince her that this is the only way England’s religion can change. I also liked the ‘Anne of One Thousand Days’ spin where it’s unrequited on her side and then turns unrequited on Henry’s side. Now that’s super tragic and would grab my attention. Overall, I like Anne Boleyn but I don’t ship them because I don’t think they were compatible, I don’t like Henry and I hate how the reformation was carried out and how the knock-on effect was the death of the Tudor figures I care the most about: Cardinal Fisher, Thomas More and Margaret Pole.

Eleanor Cobham & Humphrey of Gloucester

I love ships where both figures were described as intelligent by their contemporaries because there’s also a meeting of minds there. It also gives this partners in crime vibes which I really like. This connects to my whole ’delicious’, ‘romantic’, ‘best friends’ and ‘I’m intrigued’. A lot of fun things could be done with this ship and so I would read fic for it but I remain unpicky (except for , you know, prose as per usual). As it happens I also already read fic for this pairing and unless you are her, I would recommend @nuingiliath who writes loads for this couple and is the resident shipper - I believe this is her OTP. On Ao3 she is ‘heartofstanding’ she has plenty of stuff both on her tumblr and on that site so just follow the tags. Also all I know about these guys is from her pretty much.

The thing is, Eleanor Cobham is like Jane Shore for me, she brings out very weird feelings because I am very traditionalist and boring and hate my infidelities and tend to have an aversion towards mistresses. However, like Jane Shore, Eleanor Cobham appears to have had some virtues and was more than a pretty face (apparently Jacobia herself was quite dull and that’s one of the things that turned Humphrey off her but I’m not sure if that’s hearsay). So just like that, I don’t get an ‘ugh’ feeling like I would with people interested in the Bourbon mistresses in the 18th century or such because I much feel like it wasn’t that physical. This is where ‘softly’ comes, the age difference makes me imagine Humphrey as having that dad-aura Idk (and btw no I’m not pleading daddy issues at all - I feel like it quite undermines this couple), his incredible level of learning further feading into this wise persona but obviously his skirmishes with the administration give me an impression of this grand daring man as well. He seemed the picture of true aristocracy and in all the way he falters from those expectations (eg lack of martial talent) I also like to see. As I said, Eleanor also being described as intelligent makes me feel that she was at his level and while I am satisfied that the necromancy charges were shams it does indicate that she was considered bright enough by her contemporaries in order for such charges to be levelled in the first place. While it is true that the whole affair was targeting Humphrey, I really feel like Eleanor herself possessed (or at least was perceived by others as possessing) a certain dangerousness and this course of action was pursued by their rivals in order to kill two birds with one stone. After all, we have seen how easy treason charges can be conjured against magnates who though not technically speaking guilty have acted against the wrong faction eg Clarence’s case. With that I also put ‘best friends’ because I feel like like all those traits derived from the facts I’ve been privy to point to the fact that the two were friends as well as in love and attracted to each other. They really give me a partners-in-crime vibe and I’m always all for that. Not to mention I’m also a sucker of one part of the ship dying (preferably the woman) with the other following not late after or at least never living a fulfilled life as a widow-widower. It’s cruel but I love my doomed couples. So yeah, I ship it, I really do. I also have a great admiration for Humphrey as I have a soft-heart for scholarly people, I also admire how he was not blindly loyal and quite brazen. It’s a personality that intrigues me.

#🍷❤️#ship bingo #don’t be shy anon #humphrey duke of gloucester #eleanor cobham #humphrey of gloucester #henry viii #anne boleyn x henry viii #anne boleyn

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phantomofthepairofdice · 3 years

Text

The Rosscars 2020

Wow. It’s that time of year again, only this time it’s different because it’s on a blog that no one will read! (hold for applause) Welcome to the first annual online publication for the Rosscars (hold for applause while the reader acknowledges how positively droll it is that I combined my name with “Oscars”). Who can forget such indelible Rosscar memories like when Steven Soderbergh surprised us all and won Best Director for Out of Sight or Bill Irwin’s beautiful speech upon winning Best Supporting Actor for Rachel Getting Married?! The Rosscars mean something different to everyone, but we all know that they mean quality choices made by a committee of one schmuck. This year’s Rosscars are bizarre because in an effort to be more like the Academy guidelines, film’s nominated have been released between January 1, 2020 and February 28, 2021. As usual, theatrical windows be damned, streamers are welcome. Of course, I have my gripes. I like categorizing movies by release year – specifically, when they become available to the plain old public like yours truly – not at festivals, limited runs in NYC and LA. Well, the Oscars are still weeks away and I feel like everybody wants to forget about last year and move onto this one that we’re already three months into - So here are my awards for the films, performers, and craftspeople that stood out in a pretty exceptional year for movies even though distribution was stranger than ever.

**A few caveats and guidelines to Rosscar newcomers (which I imagine is just a formality since we all know the Rosscars so well)**

The rules and categories are a little different around here. First, not every category is honored directly. That’s for a few reasons, chiefly that I don’t feel qualified to reward the technical categories properly – I suppose I should say that I feel less qualified to do so than the “above the line” categories. In keeping with the Academy standard, there are five nominees in each category, except for Best Picture, Best Non-Fiction/Documentary Feature, and Best Ensemble Cast which allow up to ten. Every category, save those three, will have the possibility of honorable mentions, because I want to highlight some things that just barely missed the cut. The narrowing down of a lot of these categories was awfully tough.

Nominees are listed alphabetically, and the winners are in bold and italics.

Also, it’s important to keep in mind that I couldn’t see everything (this isn’t a job and it’s still $20 to rent The Father, y’all) and that these are just the opinions of one (self-described) “bozo on the internet.” If you’re a reader and have different picks, feel free to share!

Special Commendations for some things that I want to recognize: • Ludwig Goransson for his Tenet score which is an absolute banger • The costumes of Emma. (Alexandra Byrne), Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom (Ann Roth), and Small Axe (Jaqueline Durran, Sinéad Kidao, and Lisa Duncan) all struck me as exceptional • Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross with their scores for both Soul and Mank. Crazy that Pixar is working with the guy who made “Closer” • The cinematography of Da 5 Bloods (Newton Thomas Sigel), First Cow (Christopher Blauvelt), Beanpole (Kseniya Sereda), and A White, White Day (Maria von Hausswolff)

The Rosscars red carpet was, as usual, a bizarre affair. People filed into the theater and it seemed like the only encounters were awkward ones. Vin Diesel showed up in character as Bloodshot, Aaron Sorkin started getting really verbose about what a lovely night it was, and it became clear that most of the celebrities in attendance didn’t read their invitations closely enough to realize that this was not, in fact, the Academy Awards.

Everyone’s seated, and the show is under way. After a medley about the nominees this year by Common and Seth McFarlane that was more corny but clever than it was funny, the first official category is here, and the presenter is none other than... Ross!

Best Supporting Actor:

1. Chadwick Boseman for Da 5 Bloods

2. Matthew Macfadyen for The Assistant

3. Jesse Plemmons for Judas and the Black Messiah

4. Paul Raci for Sound of Metal

5. Glynn Turman for Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom

Honorable Mentions:

• Lucas Hedges for Let Them All Talk

• Orion Lee for First Cow

• Bill Murray for On the Rocks

Best Supporting Actress:

1. Vanessa Bayer for Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar

2. Candice Bergen for Let Them All Talk

3. Gina Rodriguez for Kajillionaire

4. Amanda Seyfried for Mank

5. Yuon Yuh-jung for Minari

Honorable Mentions:

• Jane Adams for She Dies Tomorrow

• Charin Alvarez for Saint Frances

• Talia Ryder for Never Rarely Sometimes Always

• Debra Winger for Kajillionaire

Everyone loves a montage. The audience gets comfortable in their seats as the video screens start to show a montage of some of the most famous moments from Hollywood’s most magical movies. Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers waltz, gliding across a dance floor like two hovering angels. There’s a clip of Leo declaring himself king of the world in Titanic, the flying bicycles in ET, Bogart stares longingly into Bacall’s eyes, and then there’s some scene where Tom Cruise rides a motorcycle from 2010′s Knight and Day. The audience all seems confused how that last one got in there. The John Williams music swells as little Kevin McAllister screams when puts on aftershave. We see clips of Robert De Niro in Taxi Driver, Carrie Fisher’s Princess Leia embrace Harrison Ford’s Han Solo, Bruce Lee smoothly declares that boards don’t hit back and... wait... was that a clip from Michel Gondry’s Green Hornet with Seth Rogen? And that’s a clip from What Happens in Vegas... Bad Teacher... Vanilla Sky... Shrek 2... Any Given Sunday... Everyone is flummoxed. The last clip fades out and a sole editing credit appears: Cameron Diaz. The lights come up and there’s some applause, but mostly confused murmurs.

The ceremony has had a bit of a misstep, but nothing it can’t recover from, especially as the next category is announced over the PA, and it looks like the presenter is... Ross!

Best Ensemble Cast:

1. Bacurau

2. Da 5 Bloods

3. Kajillionaire

4. Let Them All Talk

5. Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom

6. Minari

7. Nomadland

8. Pieces of a Woman

9. Small Axe

Best Original Screenplay:

1. Danny Bilson and Paul Dameo & Spike Lee and Kevin Wilmott for Da 5 Bloods

2. Lee Isaac Chung for Minari

3. Brandon Cronenberg for Possessor

4. Sean Durkin for The Nest

5. Kleber Mendonça Filho and Juliano Dornelles for Bacurau

Honorable Mentions – a very difficult task to weed this down to five.

• Shaka King and Will Berson for Judas and the Black Messiah, from a story by Kenny and Keith Lucas

• Steve McQueen, Alastair Siddons, and Courttia Newland for Small Axe

• Kelly O'Sullivan for Saint Frances

• Thomas Vinterberg and Tobias Lindholm for Another Round

Best Actor:

1. Ben Affleck for The Way Back

2. Chadwick Boseman for Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom

3. Delroy Lindo for Da 5 Bloods

4. John Magaro for First Cow

5. Mads Mikkelsen for Another Round

Honorable Mentions:

• Riz Ahmed for Sound of Metal

• John Boyega for Small Axe

• Daniel Kaluuya for Judas and the Black Messiah

• Hugh Jackman for Bad Education

• Ingvar Eggert Sigurðsson for A White, White Day

We have a break in the action and it looks like Darius Rucker has showed up to perform what he would have nominated for Best Original Song. The crowd is absolutely furious as he starts playing a song that apparently was in Trial of the Chicago Seven. An ocean of sonorous boos and curses overtakes the the once docile crowd. The Rock just ripped his chair from out of the ground. Jane Lynch somehow smuggled in a civil war era flintlock pistol that she’s now pointing at the stage! Suddenly, the crowd unifies around what started as a confident chant of one lone audience member - John C Reilly. It’s growing... Ja Ja Ding Dong, Ja Ja Ding Dong, Ja Ja Ding Dong - it’s like the macabre circus performers from Tod Browning’s Freaks, but instead of chanting “Gooble Gobble” they’re clearly pining for Darius to change his tune to the silly and delightful jam from Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga. Darius, scared for his life, leaves the stage, but here come Will Ferrell and Rachel McAdams to deliver the goods. Busy Philips and Michelle Williams burst into tears. Tom Hanks nods in approval. A segment saved by brave artists placating a toxic group of fans... we’ve just witnessed a live version of the Snyder Cut, folks.

Jack Nicholson seems completely unfazed, giving a thumbs up to the camera and blowing a kiss to the next presenter. Coming to the stage is... Ross... again...

Best Actress:

1. Jessie Buckley for i’m thinking of ending things

2. Carrie Coon for The Nest

3. Han Ye-ri for Minari

4. Sidney Flanagan for Never Rarely Sometimes Always

5. Vasilisa Perelygina for Beanpole

Honorable Mentions – these cuts were especially painful

• Haley Bennet for Swallow

• Morfydd Clark for Saint Maud

• Frances McDormand for Nomadland

• Christin Milioti for Palm Springs

• Geraldine Viswanathan for Bad Education

Best Adapted Screenplay:

1. Charlie Kaufman for i'm thinking of ending things from Iain Reed's novel

2. Sarah Gubbins for Shirley from Susan Scarf Merrell's novel

3. Kelly Reichardt and John Raymond for First Cow

4. Simon Rich for American Pickle from his short story "Sell Out"

5. Mike Makowsky for Bad Education from Robert Kolker's "The Bad Superintendent"

Best Non-Fiction/Documentary Feature:

1. Boys State

2. Collective

3. David Byrne’s American Utopia

4. Dick Johnson is Dead

5. Feels Good Man

6. In & Of Itself

7. The Painter and the Thief

8. Time

Jimmy Fallon has come out on stage to do a bit about the pandemic and watching movies at home. People are just absolutely not having it. He tries not to laugh at his own jokes while doing what I guess is technically a pretty good impression of Dr. Fauci interviewing James Corden as Martin Scorsese (the less said of this impression, the better) on what is or isn’t cinema. The bit doesn’t track and Fallon is absolutely tanking. The producers cut away from the stage to spare the viewers at home from this monstrosity. We see crowd shots of Millie Bobby Brown shaking her head in dismay, Colin Firth is simultaneously grimacing and trying to stave off laughter, Cynthia Erivo is texting, and director Tom Hooper is taking notes for his next film. Corden yells, “Carpool Karaoke! Remember?!” Ron Howard has fainted. This thing is almost completely off the rails.

Coming back to the stage is the next presenter, a clearly embarrassed... Ross! He’s in a total flop sweat, but stumbles his way through a joke about how Fallon should try co-hosting the Oscars with James Franco sometime. There are scant chuckles throughout a crowd that mostly just wants to see who won and go home.

Best Director:

1. Christopher Nolan for Tenet

2. Spike Lee for Da 5 Bloods

3. Steve McQueen for Small Axe

4. Kelly Reichardt for First Cow

5. Chloé Zhao for Nomadland

Honorable Mentions:

• Kitty Green for The Assistant

• Eliza Hittman for Never Rarely Sometimes Always

• Charlie Kaufman for i'm thinking of ending things

• Thomas Vinterberg for Another Round

Best Picture

1. Bacurau

2. Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar

3. Da 5 Bloods

4. First Cow

5. i'm thinking of ending things

6. Judas and the Black Messiah

7. Never Rarely Sometimes Always

8. Nomadland

9. Small Axe

10. Tenet

Accepting the award for best picture is none other than Eve, the cow actor who played the titular First Cow! The audience is enamored with how graceful she looks in her cow gown, and her speech, though indecipherable, is likely simple, observational, and deeply profound for those who speak cow.

Wow, what a ceremony! Hearts were broken, property was damaged, dreams were fulfilled... blood was shed? Damn it, Meryl Streep came in and mugged Charlie Kaufman before absconding with the trophy. Oddly, she’s a previous winner, so the attack isn’t out of need for hardware. People are reading through articles about production on Adaptation for potential motives. Streep made time for a photo opportunity, but remains at large.

I could go on ad infinitum about all of these nominees and winners themselves and why they did or didn’t make the cut, but that’d be better served in a different piece. For now, my thoughts on most of these can be found on the Best of 2020 write-up and over on my Letterboxd. And, as always, these awards can be revoked and redistributed at will, so don’t get too cozy with that statue, Danny Bilson!

On behalf of the RAOGL (Rosscars Association of One Guy at a Laptop), thanks for reading, and stay tuned as we’re establishing a tip line for anyone has seen Ms. Streep or her stolen valor Rosscar. We’ll see you next year. Keep watching movies, and keep arbitrarily quantifying them in terms of subjective quality!

#awards #movies #film #Rosscars

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judgement-free-sideblog · 4 years

Text

Blood, tears and sea breeze

Warnings: ANGST, mental health issues, graphic depictions of violence, blood, cursing, mentions of sexual assault, mentions of sex, substance abuse.

Summary: The not so peaceful town of Broadchurch face dead again, while Alec Hardy continues his journey to redemption will this school teacher be the key to solve the mystery or just another victim of the ever watching evilness that seems to reside in the town.

First Previous Next

Chapter 14: I can have dinner

"Ready dear?" SOCO Brian came inside Alec's office looking for Ellie.

"Yes dear, just a moment" Alec responded in a dead serious tone, making both Ellie and Brian perplex for a whole minute "I'm obviously joking" he add embarrassed.

He had been like that on the week, casually making unnecessary light hearted comments, and behaving in what could almost be a good mood, he even had say thanks to Harford for his cup of tea in the morning, and Miller was sure about the reason but she pretend she didn't notice.

"Shitface has a sense of humor, you should do it more often" Brian said laughing, Alec didn't seem to mind the nickname this time, and then turn to Miller "I'll wait on the car" then he exited the room.

"His car?" Alec asked once the man left.

"I have been staying at his place a lot more after the weekend, we went to London, the kids loved it" She explained, she knew she didn't have to, but she wanted to.

"That's why you were late on Monday?" He asked.

"Yeah, he make me the favor to take the kids to school, and then he called to say Tom had gotten into a fight, I think your new admirer took her chance at that moment" she laughed again about Ashley being so direct about wanting a date with him. "I hope this laptop has more to say about the attack, tomorrow Jonathan will have been dead for two weeks"

"I know, you should leave, it's late and I can't concentrate on this, we have to make the reconstruction tomorrow and brief the superintendent on our progress, and she won't be happy" She gave him a compassionate look before leaving and he turned off the lights before exiting the room.

A salty, delicious smell welcomed him once he entered his house, all the lights were on and a happy chat coming from the kitchen made him feel out of place, like if that was not his home, it was devastating to think that a warm happy place was not his home, not like he missed the gray empty environment from the weeks before but he was just not ready to that sudden change, specially knowing that the light was coming from someone that in the best case scenario was going to leave once they catch the killer.

It was the second time that week he felt out of place, at least this time he wouldn't have to make excuses about not following Ashley Langford to her house for a night cap. It had been a disastrous interrogation, more so since she actually acted like they were on a date.

The lights of the Trader's Hotel bar were dim, maybe to make the occasional guests down there cozy enough to avoid leaving to find a better place, and Becca Fisher was chatting animatedly with Ashley Langford.

Alec waited for a moment before approaching, a childish idea that Becca may have told the woman about his embarrassing attempt to seduce her all those years ago, that was a blurry stupid mistake, but somehow he still felt uneasy around her for it.

Then a poisonous idea that maybe she told Paul when they were together, make him feel angry, perfect, young, good mate Paul, he had been avoiding that train of thoughts since the next stop was a pair of bare feet on his wooden floor rearranging his record and book collection, and as Miller had very eloquently pointed out, he was getting too close to this case.

"Hello" he said awkwardly and sit next to her, Becca pour a whiskey to him and then she walked away.

"You really have that look all the time don't you?" She smiled with her perfect teeth and he only took a tiny sip of the drink, he was still working but he was also very tired to following all this dead ends.

"So Ms. Langford, about the owner of the bar where Y/N was attacked, the BC dreamland" A stupid name for a nightclub he thought "A man named Mike Bolzano, do you know him?" She looked disappointed, no longer sad as in the morning, just plain disappointed.

"I don't know him personally, more like professionally, I may have taken a free drink from him once or twice, but nothing apart from that, my brother on the other hand has arranged a catering service from our business to his club to special events but I don't tend to go to those, I make the food and manage the books, Charlie does the rest". She tried to approach him again "I can't believe you have the case for Jonathan, we were very impressed about the Latimer's case, I mean Y/N and me, I'm glad you are taking care of my friend" she had long lashes on her green eyes, but the mention of Y/N was enough for him to not notice that.

"Daze?" He said perplex once his daughter bright smile welcomed him to the kitchen. "But is a Thursday".

"Hi to you too dad, bad day?" She said rolling her eyes the same way he did to Miller and Y/N drowned a little laugh. "Your prisoner and I make dinner, you want some?"

"Sure... she is not my prisoner, she is... what are you doing here again?" He said taking the glass of wine Y/N offered to him, the whole scene was too surreal to cope with, so he drank the whole glass immediately.

"Well it's Beth's birthday tomorrow and Chloe wanted to see her mother, and I couldn't came last week on the spring break, and I really needed a break from Uni, I know is not right, but is only two days" she start and served a plate of rice with clams and shrimp on the table for him.

"I'm sure your father is thrill to have you here, I didn't came back that often when I was in uni, I wish I had" Y/N said with a sad smile "at least my parents have Ash here to keep them company"

"Is that the friend you were talking about?" Dasy asked and Alec stop eating to listen carefully, he had listened to Ashley's version and hadn't had the chance to ask Y/N about some parts of that story.

"Well she was my neighbor for like my whole life, you know how are things around here, and we used to play all the time, I guess her parents let me be around in case she passed out so someone could scream for help, and well she always was the well educated one, respecting the elderly and doing her homework you know, I always was more of a troublemaker" She wink at him and he couldn't help to feel a little attracted to her "I was there for her, and she was there for me, she was the sister I always wanted, I mean I had Charlie but she was a girl and when you have parents as conservative as mine is basically impossible to feel free"

"Where they strict?" He asked assuming that Charles views on women had been learn in a misogynistic family, and understanding now why she was not living with them.

"My dear father called me a whore the moment he saw me in primary school talking to a boy, so yes detective they were strict, I was often send to the church to be punished, so Y/N always got in trouble only to keep me company, she has always been like that" her eyes were nostalgic, and he felt her sincere for the first time. "Anyway they throw me out and Mr. And Mrs. Y/L/N took me in, their elder children had gone away long before so they miss having a lot of people at home, I stayed there and start working, I even made uni on long distance since I had no money at all, when she finished uni we rented an apartment downtown, you living independently, Y/N and I have this crazy idea of travel the world once we got enough money" she said with a puzzling look, sad but also proud?.

"I was ready to leave town, I had been healthy for years, we were leaving on our own, I even saved enough money to the trip, for me and her, but my parents didn't want me to go, I don't think I have ever fought with them before, but you know how it is, sometimes children don't understand what their parents do for their own good, and sometimes parents don't understand that their children are already grown ups" Y/N gave him a meaningful look and he nodded in agreement. "Ashley tried to talk to them telling them she was joining me and that everything will be fine... but we never got to make amends" for a moment Hardy thought she would lost control again but she only nodded with her eyes closed and looked at Dasy "That's why you should make amends with Chloe, a true friend will be always there for you, I wouldn't have survived without her or Paul, I mean my older siblings were too old, they never really got me, and they had their lifes away from broadchurch, so I was alone."

"What's wrong with Chloe?" Alec asked alarmed

"Nothing dad, is just that she is older, and I don't know... is stupid" she said lowering her gaze. He was about to go back to his plate but Y/N gave him a look urging him to keep asking. Fine darling he thought and immediately remembered that this was not a family dinner, even when he was happy pretending it was.

"Oi! You can tell me, come on" he said and she finally look at him.

"Ok, she has a boyfriend, and she spends all the time with him and her uni friends, I don't know, I assume I would be the one fitting in but I felt left behind" she said and Y/N distractedly walked out of the kitchen to give them space to talk alone.

"When her parents die she was a mess, she didn't want to leave their house, thankfully Paul was there for her, he had always been into her, but I guess it was at that time that she look at him with other eyes, she never wanted to leave Broadchurch after that, she gave me part of her savings to open the Deli, she is like that you know? I suppose that's why Paul and Jonathan fell for her, she is just perfect"

"Then do you have any idea of someone that may want to hurt her? Or her fiance?" He said recovering his composure.

"Jonathan was not here for long enough to make enemys, and Y/N was loved by everyone, even my stupid brother and my parents always thought she was perfect, and now I bet you think the same, don't be ashame, is the Y/N effect" she said and he looked away to avoid blushing, because she was right.

Dasy was calmed after a while, it was hard for her to admit she was jealous of Chloe success, and he wondered if Ashley was also jealous of Y/N, or if maybe Y/N was jealous of the free life she had, trapped in broadchurch...

"She is too young for you" Dasy said after a while. "I mean, dead fiance aside, she is 34 and you 48, people would talk" he looked at her perplexed and she add with a smile "Jesus I'm messing with you, I didn't thought you actually liked her, I always asume you will get back together with Miller" she said laughing.

"She is happy with Brian, and I have no interest in Y/N she is staying here for protection, I would never do something that tremendously unprofessional" He started and then he noticed his tune was getting higher as he speak making it more obvious it was a lie.

"Fine, I will believe you, but you should tell her that tho, she is completely smitten by you, I can tell" She gave him a wink and left him alone in the kitchen, thinking about how this surreal domestic nonsense had become his new normal, starting after he interrogated Ashley.

He ask about her alibi, she was at the Deli all Friday, she got an angry text from Jonathan before picking her up at her place where she changed her clothes and went with Y/N to a nightclub at the moment he was murdered, she drove back inebriated to her house, and was too hungover to pick Y/N, the next morning so she called her brother, then she went to work and to pick Y/N at work but she wasn't there, then she drove to pick Jonathan at the airport, waited there for an hour before calling to her phone and then she was told about the incident by Katie Harford.

All of which had been corroborated by security footage and her deli patrons, but at the same time he was not sure why something felt off, he thanked her for the information and drove back to his place, it was late, around eleven, and yet his house was illuminated, she was reading a book distracted.

"Though night DI Hardy?" Y/N asked once he entered and sited on his couch. "I made dinner, don't worry the baby sitter you put down the road saw me exiting the house and escorted me to the grocery store" She said answering the question he was about to ask.

"You are not supposed to leave the house" he said after a while.

"I bought enough food to don't do it anymore" she said defensive and he was about to raise his voice when she add "I'm sorry, I just wanted to feel normal for a change, I know the situation and it won't happen again, I'm very grateful with you for letting me stay here, specially since you don't have to... I'll go to bed" She stood up and he stood up, thinking of grabbing her wrist but instead he call her.

"I can have dinner" he said and walked with him to the kitchen.

"So Ashley told you what kind of monster I am?" She asked while she start reheating the food.

"Quite the opposite actually..." he said distracted "I mean, who do you know I was meeting her?"

"Her best friend says she was attacked, and she is the only one alive to tell what happened, I imagined you'll asked her again about me" she said like it was nothing, but he could hear a little trembling on her voice with some words.

"Maybe you could start doing my job, and I could take some time off" he said and she put a cup of tea in from of him "Thank you"

"Let me guess you are wondering if she is single and you want to ask her out as soon as you get rid of me?" She had a playful smile on his eyes, unlike Ashley her compliments sounded real and sincere. "Don't give me that look you are not made of stone, even if you pretend to be, and she is insanely hot" she said and the way she lean on the table to give him his plate took him of guard, maybe in another life he thought as her face was about thirty centimeters from his. "You wouldn't be the first to end with that dumb look after meeting her" She said and sit on the table with another tea cup on her hands.

And she was right in almost everything, he wasn't made of stone, and Ashley Langford was incredibly beautiful, but the look in his eyes was all because of her.

Tag list:

@allonsymexgirl @laciesaito @tf18unipups @dazedkrosupreme @timey-wimey-lovi @coffees-and-constellations @ladyaziraphale

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gabolange · 4 years

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Fic meme: 3, 15 (something other than Nick and Jen!), 45

For the fanfic asks meme!

3. What is the best fandom you’ve ever been involved in?

Ooh, this is hard. I think there are a couple that come to mind for different reasons, so I’m going to avoid the question and give you...three, for extremely different reasons.

First: Battlestar Galactica. I hate now to give BSG any credit for anything, but it was just a wonderful collection of thoughtful, fascinating women writing thoughtful, fascinating things. I had never gotten over my lurker tendencies to dive into Farscape (which I regret in retrospect, nearly twenty years later -- those were the most welcoming ladies *ever*), but I did for BSG. And man. We wrote so much meta you could power Galactica. And it was weird and deep and informed, even as we had absolutely no idea WTF was going on. (I wrote an essay on Paradise Lost for fucking BSG fandom??!) I had been doing fandom in various ways for a while by that point, but BSG taught me fandom could be intellectual on top of all the things I already knew it was. And that was revelatory. (Plus, you know, the whole best friend thing. That was also pretty cool.)

Second: Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries. There are many reasons I love this fandom, but the primary one that it respects good writing. There are various reasons that some fandoms aren’t into fic, or don’t elevate good fic, or whatever. But not all of them do. But MFMM really, really does, and I both benefit from it and appreciate it.

And third: The Doctor Blake Mysteries. I have never in my life been more impressed with a fandom than I was in the days and months after the whole CM bullshit went down. There were dust-ups and moments of weirdness, I know (I know), but for the most part...everyone was respectful and thoughtful and measured. Most people were forward-thinking and feminist and refused to fall back into the defensive cliches that perpetuate bad behavior in powerful people. And then--and then!--folks stuck around. Not everyone, of course. But more than I would have expected. And so we got Jeanuary! Twice! We got BNFs deciding they were still going to write. We had Secret Santa exchanges! We...are still here, when almost every other fandom I have ever been in would have either self-destructed or utterly vanished by this point, and it kind of astonishes me even now.

15. Is there an obscure ship which you love?

Hey, wait, Nick and Jen are obscure?! Turns out...

I tend to go straight for the het canon couples, so obscurity isn’t really my thing. But I just finished Giri / Haji and there is NO FIC AT ALL, but I really want to see Kenzo and Sarah ten years from now (no spoilers). It would be extremely fucked up. It would be great. (I could write the first fic. It would be like City Homicide, where I had to get TAGS WRANGLED GORSH YOU’RE WELCOME.)

45. What is your all time favourite fanfic?

I have no idea. I have been reading very good fic for basically ever. But hey, let’s pick something. Way back in the days of TWoP and the computer in my parents’ basement, I read Marguerite’s The Rarest Faith (link to part one). It’s an ensemble West Wing story that is set in the five years immediately after the Bartlet administration that was written before the series ended.

And it’s one of those stories that is both honest and kind, that paints a future that is hopeful while also not being unrealistic. It was one of those stories that taught 20-years-ago me what fanfic could be--how it could take characters we know and evolve them while still being true to who they were on screen, how it could build a whole new future that made sense. It is probably one of the stories that made me such a canon whore, because it taught me that you didn’t have to change canon to build wonderful, rich lives for your characters.

I haven’t read it lately. I suspect it still holds up.

#fanfic meme #meme #ask me anything #bsg #tdbm #city homicide #mfmm #giri/haji #the west wing #tww #ancient history #but good

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letterboxd · 4 years

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Wigging Out.

Australian director Shannon Murphy on her artful debut, the screaming intensity of Australia’s bird-life, and the genius of Jim Henson.

Like a rush of blood to the head, Shannon Murphy’s Babyteeth is a coming-of-age film that takes hold of your heart and refuses to let go. The Australian filmmaker makes her directorial debut here, from a script by Rita Kalnejais (based on her own play of the same name). It’s at once familiar and unbelievably fresh: loveable, immediately recognizable characters in situations so conflicting, painful and euphoric that it’s very hard for your heart to not break when theirs do.

We follow Milla (Eliza Scanlen, Little Women), a fifteen-year-old who is navigating her first love. The object of her affection is Moses (Toby Wallace), a low-level drug dealer and sofa-surfing addict, who is a few years older. Milla has cancer, which makes her adoration of Moses seem all the more threatening to her parents, the type of passionate-yet-complicated couple that Australian films excel at depicting. The parents are played by Essie Davis (The Babadook, The True History of the Kelly Gang, Miss Fisher) and Ben Mendelsohn (Captain Marvel, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, the lovely Aussie comedy Cosi). There’s also a pregnant neighbor (Emily Barclay) with a wayward dog, a lot of pill-popping, many wigs, and the intertwining of love, fear and stress that comes with a family illness.

With a background in theater and television directing in Australia, Murphy’s eye is so strong that she was flown to London to direct episodes of Killing Eve off the back of Babyteeth’s 2019 Venice International Film Festival premiere. (She was one of two women, alongside Haifaa al-Mansour with The Perfect Candidate, to be selected in Competition at Venice—the film went on to London, AFI Fest, Rotterdam and others).

Babyteeth has captured the minds of countless viewers, entranced by the singular world being offered. Writing on Letterboxd, Isaac Feldberg calls the film “deliriously, jaggedly alive, so full of broken and beautiful people struggling not to break each other in the midst of their own existential crumblings”. This sense of all-or-nothing was also felt by Emre Eminoglu, who points to the way “it whispers to your eyes and touches your heart with words that it puts on screen”. And Savina Petkova remembers its first screening and has just one request: “Please let me live in the alternative universe where this won Golden Lion instead of [Joker] please.”

Chatting about devastation, drugs and the punk ambitions of fashion when you’re a teenage girl, Shannon Murphy speaks to our London correspondent Ella Kemp.

How did you first come across Rita’s play? Shannon Murphy: I didn’t actually see the play, which is crazy because my theater career started in the theater that it was on at, but I missed it somehow. When I came on to Babyteeth, the screenplay was already ready to go. I went back and read the play just before we started pre-production, and the thing I really loved in the play—not actually in the production but on the page—was the title chapters, and the through line of these whispers written in, of what the dead said to Milla.

What did you feel when you first read Milla’s story? I was really distraught at the end, but not for the reasons you might think. It was more because I couldn’t handle the idea that I couldn’t spend any more time with these characters. It just devastated me that my time with them was over, like with a really amazing novel, you just don’t want your connection with them to end. I thought that was a really great sign. I’d been looking for a first feature for some time, but I knew it had to truly represent my tone, and the kind of artist I wanted to show the world I was. It’s a really difficult thing to do when you’re not a writer yourself.

I felt so distraught when the film ended, and it does just give you the urge to rewatch immediately—it makes you wish it was longer. That’s so great to hear, I’ve had a few people say that they rewatched it more than once and it’s so exciting to me. That is the aim, that you make something that is worth watching again, because you know you’ll get even more out of it the more you watch it—it’s somehow gotten into your bones.

Shannon Murphy with Ben Mendelsohn on the set of ‘Babyteeth’.

One of your actors, Ben Mendelsohn, said Babyteeth is both “delightfully bent” and “beautifully Australian”. What do these terms mean to you? The offset humor is what I’d say he’s talking about, and also the idea to really push through the pain. Australians are really great at saying, “You’ll be alright, chin up.” There’s quite an optimism in our culture. In many ways I really focused on the sound design being really Australian. We shot in February, which is summer, so it was really hot, the cicadas were going crazy, and the birds—our birds sound like people screaming, they’re really intense. It brought such an Australian essence to it.

Could you recommend any Australian filmmakers or specific titles for Letterboxd members? Shirley Barrett’s Love Serenade is amazing. The Last Days of Chez Nous by Gillian Armstrong. And of course Sweetie by Jane Campion is a brilliant piece. I also love Samson and Delilah by Warwick Thornton. [See Shannon’s other Australian film recommendations.]

Moses is such an untraditional love interest, yet so charming. How did you build that character from Rita’s writing, and work with Toby to bring such a physicality to life? It was so important to me with all the characters that you didn’t judge them, despite the behaviors they’re showing because they’re under stress. With Moses it was really important that it wasn’t just about the drug abuse, that it was really about understanding the behavior behind that and why that’s happening. We worked closely with a friend of mine who is a drug and alcohol specialist, and he was always saying, “Don’t talk about the drugs, it’s not what is actually behind this.” We did detail his poly-substance abuse and what he was taking, so that at least Toby and I knew as we were charting the journey.

Toby, in his audition, was just so generous to all the other Millas in the room. Not once was he really thinking about himself, although the stakes were really high and I knew he really wanted the role. I love that, because to me Moses is a really generous person to Milla. I knew I’d have to transform him physically quite a lot, because he’s a very good-looking guy, and we also wanted to break Moses down a lot. With his skin we did that, with his tattoos, and each of his tattoos has a lot of meaning for Moses. Toby and our make-up artist Angela Conti crafted that together. And he’s a very physical performer, very in his body. Who else can pull off shorts like that, quite frankly? I just loved that about him. He’s fearless.

“Who else can pull off shorts like that?”—Toby Wallace with Eliza Scanlan in a scene from ‘Babyteeth’.

Toby gives such an amazing performance. I hadn’t seen him in anything before but a friend said she’d seen him in a Netflix show recently in which he was so despicable, whereas he’s totally transformed here. He’s really my kind of actor because you can throw anything at him and he’s up for it. He’s got an incredible range. And the same with Eliza, they can shapeshift so easily. They’re two very intelligent people, they’re able to get out of their heads and into their bodies quite easily.

I have to ask more about Eliza. How did you create Milla with her, physically, specifically in terms of her clothes, her style—I have the image of the blue wig in my mind. How did aesthetics feed into Milla’s psychology? You know what’s so funny? Everyone calls it the blue wig, but it’s totally green. I don’t know what happened in the [color] grade there, but everyone calls it the blue wig. Even Eliza in an interview the other day said the blue wig, and it was totally green! Anyway, hilarious. Everyone is calling it the blue wig so we can stick with that.

At that age, you are constantly reinventing yourself. Particularly when you meet someone you’re falling in love with, you’re like, who am I going to be to this person? Because this person is also changing who I am and how I see the world. And also she’s completely being a punk, and she’s pushing against her parents, pushing against the world. With her outfits, we spent a lot of time talking about that with my amazing costume designer Amelia Gebler. She’s so bold. We were like, at that age, you just don’t give a shit. You’re trying out different things. Also, the new generation is experimenting with fashion in a way that I think is really impressive. So we wanted to make sure that it felt timeless, and so we did the big pattern clashes for the night out, and also she’s wearing that great unicorn T-shirt, it’s so childlike, but also a bit punk-y when she’s in her home. But then she transitions from the more feminine, girly colors to lilac, which is Moses’ color for the night out. We loved the idea of them both being in the same color for that night.

And then the different wigs, we called the blonde one the Amy Winehouse wig. We would call it “wig-gate” on set, because you always had to make sure you had the right wig on during the transformations. We talked about how initially she has that cancer wig, which is the long blonde one, which is a real cancer wig from a company that makes them specifically for that. Then we moved to Amy Winehouse for the night out, and then we’d go to the blue wig. It always felt like we were doing it at points when she was really shifting emotionally, and playing different versions of herself in many ways.

What was the first film that made you want to be a filmmaker? Is it okay if it’s not a film? I was quite obsessed with Jim Henson’s television series The Storyteller. It was such a dark fable that I watched at such a young age. I remember John Hurt being the narrator, I would just get so sucked into these stories. Even still today I can remember so many of them so vividly. They were really creative. Jim Henson was someone who was so out of the box, really pushing our imagination in ways that have stayed with so many of us.

Related content

Shannon Murphy’s Favorite Australian Films

Jacob’s list of Australian Films Worth Your Time

Movie Maestro’s Teenage Wasteland: A Comprehensive List of Coming-of-Age Films

Dana Danger’s Directed by Women list

#shannon murphy #babyteeth #directed by women #52 films by women #female director #australian film #australian cinema #ben mendelsohn #essie davis #eliza scanlan #sydney #australia #coming of age #coming of age film #jim henson #the muppets #letterboxd

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thepropertylovers · 4 years

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Feature Friday with Rowyn Mottershead

Happy Friday! Any plans this weekend? Middle kiddo R started school today (yay!), something we’ve been hoping would be able to happen for a while now. His brother and sister are already enrolled in school and he was feeling a little left out, so we’re all thrilled he’ll be able to finally go now, too.

Today’s Feature Friday is a special one. Rowyn has a beautiful, important story to share, and his words on life, love, and self-acceptance ring true no matter what stage of life you’re in. We loved getting to know Rowyn and we think you will, too. See what we mean below…

On the beauty of a road trip: My favourite place I have travelled to is Colorado, it was on a road trip with my fiancé last year. He is American and I am British so it blew my mind to see the vast land and untouched beauty of the states. We drove through Arkansas, Oklahoma, New Mexico and Colorado, each state with it own unique character and landmarks. I’ll never forget it and it motivates me to move out to the USA once I am married to my partner.

On a fortunate upbringing: I grew up in a small market town in the south of England. The area is conservative in attitudes but with accepting values, I didn’t know any LGBT people growing up but still I knew my family would love me regardless of my identity. I had a privileged middle-class upbringing and I’m thankful for the education and opportunities it brought me. I picked up learning piano and bass guitar when I was 10 years old and went on to pour all my energy into creative outlets. Most of my family were never concerned at this unconventional artistic focus and encouraged me to improve my music, art, food, films, whatever took my fancy. This lead me to where I am today in my multi-disciplined career as a musician, filmmaker and professional chef.

On the influence of family to succeed: I come from an accomplished family so that made me very ambitious, my grandfather is a world-renowned theatre engineer and choir singer and he made it clear to me that I should always follow my passion and drive to find success rather than following money. Growing up with the expectation to succeed used to scare me a lot but now it fuels the confidence I have in my abilities. I had access to instruments and equipment that meant I had the building blocks for my skills from a young age, again I have privilege to thank for this.

“Correcting people can be exhausting and unrewarding work, so really I also learnt that the people who really care about you the most, will do that emotional labour on your behalf…”

On an unexpected, impressive skill: I learnt to solve Rubik’s cubes when I was 12 years old, I can now solve a 5x5x5 cube in 10 minutes and a 3x3x3 cube in less than 2 minutes. In the past I have won bets on the basis of this skill because people tend not to believe me when I tell them I can do this! Never underestimate the power of someone with good memory and good dexterity!

On what he loves about himself: My patience and dedication to any cause I care about. I’ve always gotten satisfaction out of a good job done well, as well as excelling people’s expectations. I can multitask and keep track of my work so that I don’t get overwhelmed, which is a very useful skill in the kitchen at my job as a full time sushi chef! I love that I have a job that I’m very good at and that I enjoy very much. On a physical level, I love my naturally honey coloured hair :)

On what brings him joy in life: Wow there are so many possible answers for this. My passions that I have worked on the longest is my songwriting. I have explored myself and my life through lyrics and melody for nearly 20 years and it’s an incredibly important part of my life. I also find a lot of happiness in activities dancing, skating, swimming and hiking, as well of course as spending time with my fiancé, Liam. My three pet rats would also be high on that list!

On being open to who he is: I came out as transgender in 2013 when I was 16 years old, I had left school and met new friends at college so I transitioned smoothly into a masculine role at that time. However I found myself coming out again at 22 as a gay man, as I had found myself for the last 6 years being viewed as a bisexual androgynous mystery. I wanted to clarify how I felt but I felt some level of shame being both a ‘failed woman’ as a trans man and a ‘failed man’ as a gay man. I’m still working on this internalised homophobia and cisnormativity and I’m glad to be finally open about who I am.

On the importance of support: My family are very close and never stopped loving me or viewed me any differently. The adjustment to my new name and pronouns however took years for some people, especially my Dad, but they never stopped me from doing what I wanted. 7 years into my life as Rowyn, I think they recognise that this was the best decision for me, and we have never looked back. Most of the other people in my life these days have no idea who I was before I transitioned, and I would like to keep it that way. I faced some criticism in 2013 because transgenderism was not mainstream knowledge as it is today, I spent a lot of time educating people and explaining that no, this is not just because I wear my hair short and don’t like skirts, it’s a lot deeper than that.

On a learned lesson: I learnt that gender and sexuality is not straightforward, that it can be felt and perceived in many different ways. I had people close to me say that they will always view me as female and I had people I barely knew saying they had always felt a male energy from me. I had people assume I would fall in love with a woman and people assume that I had no sexual desires at all. I learnt that coming out is something you have to do over and over again, especially as a trans person who gets misgendered. Correcting people can be exhausting and unrewarding work, so really I also learnt that the people who really care about you the most, will do that emotional labour on your behalf, correcting friends and family in private to make your life easier.

On his advice to today’s LGBTQ youth: I would say it is impossible to live your life on other people’s terms. Even if your family struggle to understand or accept your identity, you will only find happiness by being true to yourself. There are so many people out there who will love you exactly the way you are so if those people aren’t surrounding you, do your best to move into spaces where you will be supported. The people that mind don’t matter and the people that matter don’t mind. Obviously some people don’t have the opportunity to escape certain situations, but you can always reach out online to find like-minded people and realise you are not alone and you are not ‘freakish’, you are just your own variety of normal, and that is beautiful :)

“Life gets good when you stop waiting for the right time and seize the moment”

On the decision to finally start living life the way he wanted: Medical transition felt like a deep dark well of impossibility for many years. When I was 16 my parents decided I was too young for it and told me to wait until I was ‘ready’... well I felt I was ready at 16... so I then spent years waiting for anything to cement itself further so I could take the next step. But nothing changed, I went to university, continued living with physical discomfort and daily misgendering. I lost track of my mental health, slipped into an unhealthy relationship, somehow graduated on time at 21 and realised that I was still no closer to hormones and surgery and being ‘male’ then I was 5 years ago. At this point I decided to pay for private treatment so I could finally start living my life and overcome this burden of dysphoria. I’m so glad I did this and finally took control of my life. I had top surgery 6 months ago (at great expense) and the pay-off of anticipation was so worth it. Just being able to feel the fabric of a shirt on my back and the flatness of my chest feels like overcoming the biggest obstacle I have ever faced.

On his biggest inspirations: In my daily life- my fiancé Liam [is my biggest inspiration]. He has incredible physical and mental stamina, he can run many miles at a time and write thousands of words in one sitting, and always has energy spare to shower me in love. In my professional life- my friend and collaborator Fox Fisher who has worked tirelessly over the past 8 years to make their content by and for the trans community. And in my musical life- singer/songwriter Orla Gartland who I have been following on YouTube for about 10 years. She is roughly the same age as me and has written countless incredible songs about very raw emotional experiences. Seeing us both grow as musicians over the years has brought me a lot pride and strength.

On looking forward to the future: Married to Liam and probably living in the state of Arkansas where Liam is from. I hope to be running my own kitchen with a sustainable and vegetarian menu. I hope to be living on a homestead where we grow our own food and keep our own livestock. I hope to have employees that care as much about the food and the planet as I do. I hope to have time in the evenings to play music with my husband and laugh with friends. I hope to have some cute pets, as a stepping stone to starting my own family with Liam. Above all of course, I hope to be happy.

On the power of believing in yourself: Life gets good when you stop waiting for the right time and seize the moment; whether it be proposing to the man of your dreams, furthering your skill set, taking small steps to fulfil your personal goals, or just taking a walk outside in the sunshine. Whatever you do to make a moment your own will be meaningful, will be something to look back on and be proud of. From being a confused depressed teenager to being an accomplished chef with a future husband and a transitioned body, only took a few years of hard work and positive thinking, and all it /really/ took was the belief in myself to succeed.

Thank you so much, Rowyn! You can follow him on Instagram here. Have a wonderful weekend, y’all!

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allhallowsreid · 4 years

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just lots and lots of very long-winded, random thoughts about last night’s finale and the show itself...

so obvs no one has to agree with me on any of this, i just feel like there likely ARE ppl who feel like this and it’s easy to get shut down on tumblr for having different opinions, and i mostly just need to gather my feelings and thoughts in one place.

-ive seen a handful of ppl upset that the last ep centered around reid, but if you were to take 10 fans of this show, it’s a pretty good chance that 8 or 9 of them would say reid is their fave character. that isn’t me trying to insult any of the other characters, that’s just the way it is. whether it’s bc of his looks (and my lord was he gorgeous in this finale ep), or that he’s your typical cute white boi, or more organic reasons like he’s been there since day 1 and we were able to watch him change and grow, and he’s the opposite of the typical male characters we often see, especially on cop shows.. whatever the reason, he is a VERY popular tv character. and if it weren’t for that character, for better or worse, this show would have ended a long time ago.

-the ending itself.. i just feel like i don’t know what ppl were expecting?? this is not a show like supernatural or dexter or a show that has had a fluent overarching story to tell from start to finish. the story continues without us watching it. it’s another day at the office for them. was it a great ending? no, but it was fine. we see where all of them are headed. endings are so difficult, i’m just glad they didn’t kill anyone off or some garbage like that.

-so damn happy they hooked up luke and garcia. i have had such issues with garcia’s character since morgan left, i feel like she became a caricature, where she just overacts and i recently read an article with kirsten where she actually admitted that when shemar left she really didn’t know what to do with her character anymore. honestly? it showed. the obnoxiousness to luke was cute at first bc she obviously had a crush on him, but then it just became mean and out of character. this season i was happy to see her get a little bit more back to herself. all this being said, they were very clearly headed towards getting luke and garcia together this season with the overt flirting and one on one convo’s, i’m so glad they went through with it instead of leaving it open ended. and i will admit that of all the characters, i didn’t think garcia would be the one to leave, but it made sense. garcia is tough as hell, much tougher than she gives herself credit for, but like luke said, she can do this other job without the gore that she cringes over in literally every single episode of the show. also loved jj saying garcia was the glue of the team. so true, so well said. and side note, kirsten does a hell of a job writing these characters that she knows all too well, the other writers should’ve just let her take over in later seasons.

-prentiss... i love my emily so dang much, but man they give her the absolute worst dialogue. she gets stuck with all these long sentences that just.. they just don’t flow?? and it takes me out of the show so often. this has been since s12 when she became unit chief. there has been a handful of times since she became the boss that we have had flashes of old school smartass goth girl emily, and i cherished each moment, but it wasn’t enough. somewhere along the way they forgot how to write into the show that their characters had PERSONALITY. just as an example of the stupid dialogue she gets.. the end of the ep where it’s intended to look like rossi’s retirement party. then, idk who it was, emilys boyfriend maybe(?) says some dumb comment about oh gee i thought this was dave’s retirement! and then emily starts some awkwardly long line that could’ve been summed up in “dave decided not to retire afterall” and it was just soooo... weird?!!? if we are agreeing that A MONTH has gone by.. you are to tell me that it never once came up that dave said he was gonna retire and then changed his mind!??! that night, one month later, is the first that this discussion occurred!!?!?! and all of these dumb lines come out sounding so robotic, and i can’t blame paget, bc the lines are boring as hell. also unless i missed something i can’t rule emily out of being the next director, especially since their profile ended up being correct, lynch and the mom didn’t kill themselves, so i’m sure when that all came out, the next hurdle emily would have to clear is how they just blew up their very expensive jet right after having a budget meeting 2 episodes ago!!

- i’m gonna lump the newer characters together.. and just say that it was all too little, too late. they tried to give matt and luke more this season, and the ep’s centered on them were great, but it all felt forced to me. all this character development should’ve started as soon as they came onto the show. the relationships between the new and original characters also feels forced a lot of times, barring relationships like rossi and his boys, luke and garcia, tara and emily.. i mean that’s kind of all, right? we never saw much off-the-job, personal interactions between them and the rest of the characters, did we? and the way tara was treated on this show is inexcusable. aisha’s talents were so underused on this show it was criminal (pun intended). and actually, the above stuff i said about emily getting nonsense dialogue, you can throw matt in there too. his dialogue was friggin god awful at times on this show. in the words of early seasons reid, maybe try to be more conversational, writers!!

-man oh man was jj a badass and a half in this finale. tbh i always enjoyed liaison jj more than ssa jj, but when badass jj comes out i get all excited. i do feel like she would be the best fit to take over if emily left, she’d stepped into that role before and excelled. but she is another character that at times i think the writers just forgot how to write her personality somewhere along the way. i understand that the reality is that people change over time, but there were times that she was written like a typical high school mean girl, and that was just an insult to the character they created. the whole jeid thing was severely overblown and unnecessary. i don’t hate the idea of them being together, but why wait til s14-15 to deal with this? in the end i thought it was handled okay, i personally didn’t feel like it ruined their friendship or stayed awkward, which i appreciated, it was just a storyline that wasn’t needed and wasted time. also, ppl griping about “oh but she clearly loves will, if she loves spencer then she can’t love will!” i mean, actually, ppl are capable of loving more than one person at a time, hate to burst that bubble for ya.

-this seems like a good moment though to pause and just get this out about will lamon-fuckin-tagne jr... this guy is too good for jj lol, i am sorry but he is such a great guy. and can we review some things about will and his wife’s bestest friend, godfather to his children, spencer reid?? when will and spencer first met, it was during an unbelievably personal case to will, i mean his father died sending him a message about this case that the fbi was called in on. and his first intro with reid?? let’s see, reid spent that ep strung out on drugs, and full on abandoning the case to go hang out with his friend at a club/bar/lounge/whatever. ok, so that’s will’s first impression of jj’s bestie, and will STILL okay’d him being the godfather of his kids. not to mention, can you imagine your wife has been gone in the damn middle east for who even knows how long, then when she finally gets back and you think you’re gonna have her to yourself, but oh no, here comes jj’s friggin bestie again to come cry on the couch every night for several weeks!!!! and he gives zero indication of not liking spencer, in fact he seems rather fond of him. will is the most patient man ever, i swear.

-ok that was an unexpected side track. moving onto rossi. not sure why they were all like oh pfft this guy will never retire. the dude literally retired before the show started lol. if he retired once, when he was fairly young, why is the idea of it happening again so impossible? again, dumb dialogue. i loved the stuff with him and young gideon (i may be biased tho bc i’m just so damn proud of ben savage), i loved that rossi knew more about the jet than the others, however that was an inconsistency bc when rossi came back from retirement, he couldn’t believe the bau had its own jet. unless i just misunderstood what emily meant when she said it all started with rossi and gideon. i felt like lynch was a very underwhelming villain. super forgettable. there was no charisma like foyet or cat adams, there was no creep factor like mr scratch, there was no mystery like the replicator or the fisher king. his whole story just fell flat, and if there were anything interesting about him whatsoever, it’s bc of what rossi brought to the table, not the “chameleon”.

-my boy reid. he has several lifetimes of baggage to unpack, and i think of all the characters on this show, no one hates unpacking their trauma more than reid. i feel like it was so relatable that he could barely speak in this ep without sounding on the verge of tears, like every sentence was painful to even get out bc of how much hurt is stored up inside him. his trauma has defined him for years now, and if they had ended the show without addressing even some of it, the show would’ve been incomplete. i understand that actors schedules just don’t work out sometimes, but idk what the point was of having strauss and foyet be his devil and angel. and foyet’s long explanation of how bc he changed hotch, he changed the team was so convoluted that he may as well have just said “they couldn’t get james van der beek or the dude who played mr scratch, so im here instead”. i liked what they did with reid and maeve, and i actually don’t mind that there was no mention of max. they’re still very early in their relationship, and i feel like him coming out with some “wait i think i love max!” revelation would just be too fast and ooc. we already know that the relationship between them is growing, it doesn’t need to be said. and can i get an amen that maeve and reid didn’t kiss bc god that would’ve been weird as hell.

- i hate that we couldn’t have hotch or morgan or blake or elle or any of the main characters that helped make this show what it was, but i’m still grateful for the crumbs they gave us if the actors just couldn’t be booked for whatever reason. i’ve seen many shows at their end just try to pretend their previous characters never existed, so that we got some flashbacks with them was appreciated.

- RIP bau jet. i wiiiill reMEMber youuuuuuu.

-the song choice of david bowie’s Heroes was perfection. strangely, when i was driving home from work yesterday that song came on my playlist and i blasted it on repeat and performed a car concert for my fellow drivers on the road, and thought to myself that this song would be great for cm to end on. never thought they would actually do it since they had previously used the song in penelope’s ep. but what a great scene of all them dancing and singing and laughing like the bunch of nerdy idiots they are.

-i came late into the game with this show. ppl have been telling me for years to watch it and i only picked up watching in s13, after i read a spn/cm crossover fic and became super curious about who all these awesome characters were. with that said, i’m aware that since i haven’t invested years of my life in this show, that my feelings and thoughts about the ending will be different than those who have been hooked on this show for over a decade. i’m still just so thankful for the family portrayed by this show, and these characters i fell in love with, and episodes i’ll never forget.

#text posts #series finale #thx for reading if u took the time to do so :-)#criminal minds

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sleemo · 6 years

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Stardust

[ Translated from Spanish to English by @sleemo and @nightblossoms-and-spinebarrels ]

Two years after ‘The Force Awakens’, the Imperial March plays again. The galactic saga returns to the big screen with ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’, a movie that promises to be quite unique. Director Rian Johnson and his protagonists tell us what this new stellar adventure will have for us, at least as far as Kathleen Kennedy allows them.

— Cinemanía | December 2017 - Janire Zurbano

“I don’t want Disney princesses, I want Leia,” said the little Rey in costume who was standing in front of me in one of the booths for Funko Pop figures in D23. Now that the success of the saga is measured in mind-blowing figures, the Disney convention has become a coming and going of Gamoras, Méridas and Thors, carrying bags full of Funkos.

“Before, the fans used to tell me how they met their wives because of Star Wars and now they show me the toys they’ve bought for their children,” Mark Hamill tells us. We met with the director and part of the cast of Star Wars: The Last Jedi after the hangover of D23. “I appreciate all this as I never would have been able to at 20. People ask me: ‘Doesn’t it bother you to be remembered for a single movie role?’ I never expected to be remembered for anything. And now someone has a doll with my face!”, adds the actor.

In all honesty, the merchandise for Star Wars: The Last Jedi has given us more clues about the future of the saga than any trailer or official photo of this new release. In February, a toy box made all the galactic alarms go off by showing an image of Rey with what looked like a padawan’s hairstyle. She just needed to say: “I am your Jedi apprentice”. “I cannot talk about that,” laughs Daisy Ridley.

Everything is kept under wraps in the mysterious universe commanded by Kathleen Kennedy, as the cast well knows. “At the beginning of rehearsals, we didn’t know the plot. I remember being with Mark, making conjectures all the time,” says Ridley. “We could not take the script outside Pinewood Studios,” recalls John Boyega. The newcomers also did not get any special treatment. “That room in Pinewood was like a cave,” says Kelly Marie Tran, to which Benicio del Toro adds with laughter: “I read the script with a timer.” It is not surprising that the Puerto Rican actor speaks cautiously about the film: “Star Wars was the first science fiction film that I felt was mine. I don’t want to be the first to ruin something for the fans.” Without Funkos to dissect and now that Kennedy can’t hear us, let's put them to the test.

New King of the Galaxy

It’s been two years since J. J. Abrams expanded the universe created by George Lucas, this time for Disney. The Force Awakens revived the essence of the original trilogy, far from that attempt to renew the prequels. Many specifically criticized that it was a copy of A New Hope. However, what struck Mark Hamill was something else: “Twice a week, for 50 weeks, I was tortured. They called it physical training. I even did a diet of ‘If it tastes good, don’t eat it’. I lost 20 kilos! Then I discovered that I only appeared for a few seconds at the end looking like a grumpy neighbor.”

Now, to Hamill's good fortune, Abrams has handed over the controls of the Millennium Falcon to Rian Johnson. “I remember asking J.J. if it felt like when, in a divorce, your children go to live with the new cool guy. He told me that it was fine with him but I know he thought: ‘I’m going to miss them,’” says Boyega. The creator of Lost will return to lead Episode IX, but before that Johnson will have to prove if The Last Jedi, which promises shocking revelations, is as “unique” as the cast assures. For now, it will be the longest film in the series, with two and a half hours. But will it be up to the much acclaimed The Empire Strikes Back?

“No comparisons,” Hamill says: “This movie is different from the others in Star Wars thanks to Rian. If it had not been for him, I would have dreaded coming back... I wasn’t sure I wanted to be part of the new trilogy. I thought Harrison Ford wouldn’t come back, he was my savior. But then he accepted and I felt trapped. Since I was the only one who wasn’t here, I would’ve been the most hated.”

The Return of the Jedi

“The Last Jedi starts right where we left The Force Awakens,” Ridley tells us, something unheard of in the saga. We will reunite with Rey the scavenger delivering the lightsaber to Luke Skywalker in Ach-To, after having spent the previous film on his trail. “I don’t remember what Luke says when he takes the saber, but he should have said, ‘That came with one hand, did you bring it too?’, jokes Hamill.

“Rey must accept that she has power and begin to show her potential,” explains Johnson. She and Darth Vader's son will be the focus of the film, although for now nobody dares to say whether the last Jedi master will train the young woman in the art of the Force. It is as if every time a journalist mentioned the word “Jedi”, a fairy died. “Jedi training? That remains to be seen,” says Ridley sounding mysterious, and adds: “In The Force Awakens, Rey was out of control, but now she will learn from Luke and from herself. She will experience growth.”

Her friend, John Boyega, insists on the novelty of the project: “Rian has done something very different. We wanted Finn to have an identity, like Han Solo or Leia. He supported Rey and the Resistance in Episode VII, but now he must decide if he is willing to fight a battle that is not his. His relationship with Rey and now with Rose Tico [Kelly Marie Tran] will push him into action.” The stormtrooper who deserted the First Order will thus find a new ally in this Resistance mechanic. According to Tran, she is “a nobody” that will star in “several fun moments” with Finn.

And what awaits us in the Dark Side? “Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) is as important as Rey in this new film,” says Johnson. After killing dad Han Solo, the pupil of Supreme Leader Snoke (Andy Serkis) will threaten the Galaxy again, with a new ship like that of his grandfather Anakin. Another who will be back, to Finn's disgrace, will be his former superior in the First Order, Captain Phasma. “I cannot confirm if her face will be seen, but we will learn more about her and she will leave an impression,” says Gwendoline Christie.

DJ, the hacker who Benicio del Toro gives life to, is one of the great mysteries of the film. Will he brandish a lightsaber? “No”, says Del Toro. And does he look like some other character in the saga? “He has elements of Boba Fett, maybe Jabba the Hutt,” the actor replies. According to Boyega (official spokesperson of the Galaxy), DJ resides in the casino planet of Canto Bight, where Finn and Rose Tico will go looking for him because “they need a codebreaker and he is the best”.

“The interesting thing was being able to propose things to Rian and that he was open to my suggestions, even if they changed the story,” Del Toro assures us. Another fundamental issue for the Puerto Rican is the diversity that exists in the saga: “I saw that Oscar Isaac joined Episode VII, and that Diego Luna appeared in Rogue One, and I thought: ‘They already have two Latinos, I don’t think they need three’, but they called me. It's also great that there are women in leading roles.”

The Girls Are Warriors

And speaking of women... Leia Organa (Carrie Fisher), princess-turned-general, marked a before and after between the heroines of the cinema of the 70s, a legacy that the saga has continued to reinforce. “They told me that a child wanted to run like Rey because, apparently, she is running the way she should,” Ridley recalls, adding: “The reaction of many parents made me realize what Rey means to them. They told me: ‘My daughter has something to wear now that isn’t sexualized.’” The actress is aware of how much Star Wars does for the empowerment of women, although she believes that “as long as we keep talking about it, there will be work to be done. If there was equality, we wouldn’t be repeating that Wonder Woman is starring and directed by women.”

For Gwendoline Christie, this "feminist” aspect of the saga is fundamental: “We live in a patriarchal society, so being able to play the leader of an army is a luxury. Kathleen Kennedy showed me the results that appear when you google ‘female heroines’: many women with barely any clothes.”

The actress still remembers the impact Princess Leia had on her: “I was six years old and seeing that Leia was smart, funny and did not look like other female characters made me question how women are portrayed in movies. I hope Captain Phasma will also help change the concept of femininity.” In addition to Rey, Captain Phasma and Rose Tico, Episode VIII will feature Amilyn Holdo (Laura Dern), Vice Admiral of the Resistance.

Goodbye Princess Goodbye

Among all the star warriors of Star Wars, General Leia continues to shine more than any other. Outside of the screens, with no Skywalker brawls involved, the cast makes for much closer family: “Mark is the father. Adam is the serious one, but he has a great sense of humor. Oscar is the charmer, John is the fun one, Carrie is the hilarious one, Benicio the cool, and I'm the one who always sings,” sums up Ridley.

Therefore, the premiere of this film is a bittersweet experience after the death of Fisher in December 2017. For the British actress, “it is strange to be together again without her”. Little did Johnson imagine that he would direct Carrie Fisher’s last film: “We have a beautiful and very powerful performance from her. We have not changed it.”

The one who gets most excited when talking about the actress is her ‘brother’ Mark Hamill: “I keep missing her. I keep talking about her in the present. Selfishly, I’m so angry. She should be here to share Episode VIII and shoot Episode IX.” The Last Jedi is the farewell to an actress who, 40 years later, continues to make us want to be Leia princesses, not ‘Disney princesses’. The Galaxy will not shine the same without her.

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