#Astrology roasts

[st-danger]

taurus sun, scorpio moon, gemini rising

ROAST ME LIKE AN ALMOND

Nobody appreciates a good sweater nowadays, huh? Man you love sweaters.

Bubbly and talkative or moody and withdrawn- it's either/or. You were an overly sensitive child who refused to take advice in order to do it their own way. Oh, the agony and the ecstasy of learning lessons the hard way. You share less of your true self with the world and being totally yourself requires more trust than with most people and an exchange of a secret for collateral.

You love the idea of flitting around and doing something new all the time but you like having a routine too much, so you invent elaborate situations in your head to live out your footloose and fancy free fantasies.

You just read that again, but faster because the alliteration gets you.

#st-speaks #astrology asks #astrology roasts

[astrosky33]

CALLING OUT PLACEMENTS PART 2

WARNING: This post is not for the weak. Obviously some of these are exaggerated and a joke though, don’t take this shit seriously

Venus in 6th house

Having that many icks is not normal. You just hate humans in general, don’t you?

Aries Venus

You’re obsessed with people that don’t want you back, huh?

Pisces Mercury

Stop twisting stories in your favor. We can tell when you’re fibbing broski

Libra Mars

Stop looking at my ass please

Mars in 3rd house

It’s okay to have difference of opinions with people. Stop arguing so damn much

Uranus in 8th house

I know you have weird kinks stop trying to hide it

Pluto in 7th house

Calm down Joe from “YOU”. Stop acting like you didn’t mean to show up at the same location as your crush

Jupiter in 8th house

Stop watching so much true crime you’re afraid to leave your house

Neptune in 12th house

500mg is not a normal amount of edibles to ingest by the way

MY MASTERLIST - PURCHASE A READING

© 𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐤𝐲 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝

#calling out astrology placements #roast astrology #roasting astrology #astro community #astrology #zodiac #astro placements #astrology tumblr #astro chart #birth chart

[astrobydalia]

The signs’ most common phrases (sun/moon/asc inspired)

Aries: “me, me, I, I, myself, me, me, me-”

Taurus: (long pause) “No.”

Gemini: *giggles*

Cancer: "awwwww!”

Leo: "yeah me too!" (is constantly trying to one up you)

Virgo: (pretentiously) “um aCtUaLLy”

Libra: (nods and smiles while only understanding half of what you're saying) “oh yes!” "mhm" "sure!" "hahaha no way!"

Scorpio: “👁️👃🏼👁️”

Sagittarius: “pff yeah I know that” (they apparently have a degree in everything)

Capricorn: "well I honestly don’t care 🤷🏽‍♀️ " (proceeds to cry in the bathroom)

Aquarius: “it’s a thing I do 🤪”

Pisces: (snapping back) “…hum? What did you say?”

#for funzzies #astrology #astro #astro observations #astro notes #zodiac #astrobydalia #a little roast just for fun

[capricores]

gemini, virgo, pisces, cancer, capricorn and scorpio placements when someone asks them to take on another responsibility when they're already overwhelmed and completely burnt out

#astrology #STOP SAYING YES TO EVERYTHING PLSSSS TAKE A BREAK!! #im also yelling this at myself btw im so bad for this lmao #my manager is trying to coach me on saying no to ppl LKFDJFLKDJF #its going ok.......................kind of #luna.txt #i wanted to include libra in this too... if u have libra u may relate #but im not including libra just because i think theyre decent at saying no to anything that isn't self-beneficial lol #not a roast^ actually a compliment #like I find libras are very aware of their limits?? #whereas the signs listed here might be aware but just don’t care #libras are self care queens

[yourpsicodelicbitch]

I’m feeling like a fucking egoist so I’ll roast myself

I’m the best at it😄🥰

aspects of my birth chart I blame -don’t do that-

Picture from Pinterest

TW: it could turn deep

*basically aspects in my birth chart

Moon square Venus

I’m fucking rude. I always seem like Idgf. When I liked someone, unless I want them to know, in the past, they have told me that they haven’t had a clue I like them. It’s like I have a mask but really on the inside I’m sensitive and I’m scared of being hurt and not having the reaction I expect. Attachment issues. That’s the thing. I HAVE SUFFERED A LOT in past relationships, any type. Why? I’ve been too attached to the point I begged the other to stay or if don’t I…had a incomprensible fear OR I’ve been too cold and lost what could’ve been friends bc of my anxiety of being hurt/rejected/judge, etc. I HAVE SUCH A HUGE PROBLEM that’s not being able to show myself at the fullest or to struggle to be myself and i’ll adapt to what others would like. SCARED OF BEING JUDGE. I feel that I’m a burden, being me. Showing my real intentions and emotions to the ones I love the most. To be the cause of their problems. That’s my phobia -jk-.

Ascendant conjunction Neptune

As much as it costs me to mention it. Yes, neptune causes addiction or SPECIFICALLY and ORIGINALLY a necessity to escape, to avoid what’s in front of your eyes. The effect neptune gives is insane, the sensitivity someone with neptune energy is on another level. A level that make you wish to disappear or to go to another dimension. The need can’t be put in words. But oh darling, as much as you wish, you scream, you can’t go bc you’re sensitive and that makes you an emphatic. you feel what others feel: you can’t decide. How others would feel? So you hide it. You’re good at it or that’s what you think. “It’s for your own good and for the others, it’s the best”, that’s what you’d said.

Sun square Chiron

A truck hits you every time. Or -a example that’s more family friendly- when you start doing bars, at first you get blisters and it burns but you have to do the work anyways bc you’re not gonna wait an eternity so the blister can heal -another’s gonna appear in the process-: you kept going and finally your skin becomes indifferent to the rub between your hand and the bar. in other words, sun square chiron have passed and pass lessons that are really deep, specifically in the past by being invalidated for being them. They can feel insufficient and that you don’t have the right to be, to show your passions and expressive side (being creative and unique). They repressed you, they thought they had the right and you believed them. Honey, you become stronger each time. Your inner strength is incredible. Accepting yourself, being recognized by you is what matters and what’s going to make you reach your potential.

Lilith square Mars

AAAAAAAA THIS ASPECT. why do I have to have such a AAAAAA aspect? I HATE IT FUCK. You know how many times I’ve changed hobbies? How many times I’ve left a competition bc I was afraid of not winning? What if my full potential wasn’t what I expected? What if I wasn’t the best? If it was the case I preferred to leave, to die -how dramatic- instead of knowing I had competition and that I wasn’t the only one there that wanted to give her best. I changed hobbies every time bc I got bored: in reality I was afraid and stressed bc things didn’t go the way I wanted, I didn’t full my expectations and I was afraid of not doing it if I really tried. At the first try I expected to it to came out like I was an expert. I have to make a mistake, what I was most afraid of, to learn about it, to understand that I’m human. I HATE IT. That’s why I’m feeling like shit. The other day I exploded without of nowhere and a friend that I love obviously got offended and I tried to covered it by telling it was a joke -she still told me she didn’t like it- but then I apologized and cleared everything. Now, add those previous 3 aspects: I feel like fucking shit. -there are other things-.

incredibly, first time I don’t use emojis

—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—

❀ Based on my personal experience and what I’ve analyzed in my surroundings.

❀ English is not my first language.

❀ I’m not a profesional astrologer.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

#astrology #astro observations #pinterest #astro posts #astrologia #astro notes #astro placements #birth chart #moon square venus #Lilith square mars #tulipanes #ascendant conjunction neptune #Chiron #sun square Chiron #roast myself #personal #intimate #ihatemyself #escapism #neptunian #Lilith #square #aspects #mitski #mitski supremacy #mentally drained #lilith aspects #planetary aspects

[la-pheacienne]

Okay Heathcliff and Scarlett O’Hara’s Zodiac signs?

OHhhhhhh alright

HEATHCLIFF:

Scorpio sun, obviously. Jealous, selfish vindictive, cruel, strangely loyal, creepy, obsessive, sexy.

Capricorn moon. Ambitious and methodical. Takes his relationships with people veeeeery seriously, whether they are good or bad (bad).

Aries rising. Violent. Anger issues. Impulsive, unpredictable, independent.

SCARLETT:

Scorpio sun, obviously. Jealous, selfish, can be cruel, petty; obsessive, manipulative, sexy, ambitious.

Sagittarius moon. Independent, fierce, hates being told what to do, a pioneer, a total boss.

Gemini rising. That one is obvious from her social skills at that first party. Also there is quite a bit of lying involved in her arc. Love her to death.

#scarlett o'hara #heathcliff #VERY important discourse right here #zodiac signs #astrology #yeah it feels like i'm roasting these zodiac signs sorry don't take this too seriously

[prowrestlingindustrialcomplex]

The Aries are fighting!!

Looks like Dom the Lamb is not gonna survive Randy the beefy ram.

That’s meat!!

#randy orton #dominik mysterio #dirty dominik mysterio #zodiac #astrology #wwe monday night raw #lucky watches #randy is a roast leg of lamb #dominik is kebob on a pita #i’m going for the leg of lamb

[throatgina-sausage]

#zodiac meme #zodiac memes #astrology memes #memes #astrology humor #zodiac humor #zodiac roast #roasts #funny astrology #aries memes #aries meme #just fire signs in general tbh #fire signs #incorrect zodiac #Zodiac Signs #aries astrology #astro meme #cardinal signs

[dogwittaablog]

Nolan has a big ass head like holy shit

It's probably cause he's a virgo who overthinks too much.

#okay... #but WHY DO I KIND OF SEE IT #DONT MAKE ME START SEEING THINGS #i feel like subs like this r the ones that try to test if ur gonna full on defend someone or just roast them too #ill blame it on astrology #dont bully him #nolan patrick #nolpat #ask #jan '24 subs

[st-danger]

Gemini sun, Aquarius moon, Leo rising

Have at!

As a fellow Gemini sun, Aquarius moon, Leo rising....

We are perfect.

Sorry to everyone else who isn't as witty, hilarious, smart, and kind as we are. Sorry our hair is so good and we can pick up new skills super easily.

Garden, they hate us cause the ain't us.

#TWINSIES!!!!!! #st-speaks #astrology roasts #astrology asks

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

Also rising in sagi. Idk if this explains anything ahahaha

Okay, I am so sorry this is more than a month late but my car has broke down, my dog got sick and mom was in hospital for a week with a septic gallbladder and I have finally built up the motivation to respond to my inbox.

So thank you @escapetheshark for being patient, you're gorgeous.

I don't remember if you asked to be roasted but you're a Sagittarius Moon so I'm going to roast you anyway because you're a big girl and you can handle it.

From those placements alone, I can tell you're very optimistic and high-spirited towards life and are definitely the 'hype' person in your friend group.

I'm going to come to you for cheering up because you have a great gift of providing motivation and enthusiasm to those who need it.

But masking your problems will not make them go away and it's okay to cry in front of people, don't give into your natural tendencies to just drop everything and move when things go sour.

Aww, you have the dreaded Gemini Venus *rolls eyes*

You're either emotionally unavailable or detached in relationships or too anxious and attached, you can't be both (just kidding...not really...lol, I am).

You are romantic and sensual after a few months of being bratty and enjoying being chased.

Did I mention HUGE brat behaviour?

Pretty petty princessey bratty material right here

I'm a bit perturbed by how i typed in the word 'brat' on tumblr gifs and so many seggsy 'little girl' gifs popped up.

#slumber party with ruby #i roast you with kindness #astrology talk with ruby #gemini sun #gemini venus #sagittarius moon #sagittarius rising #taurus mars #sag libra and taurus placements is automatic princess energy no matter how tough girl energy you want to give off #yours sincerely someone with a taurus mars and a lilith in libra #moot #astrology roast

[capricores]

Are there any signs you don't really like or like talking about?

there honestly aren't any signs or placements that i dislike talking about! i would say the only placements i avoid talking about are ones that i just feel i'm not super researched on or experienced with - for example, i get a lot of asks about uncommon/"not mainstream" asteroids (i've gotten a few asks about the kitty asteroid for example) - but personally i'm only currently familiar with a few asteroids (juno, ceres, and about five others); so i will avoid asks like that just due to not wanting to give incorrect information!!

as for signs i don't like - of course! i won't lie to you, there are definitely some placements i "don't like" - but it's not so much that i dislike them, it's just that generally, i find there's certain placements in people that i don't get along with. but of course, it really does depend!

for example, i usually don't vibe with virgo mars or pisces mars. but my long-term boyfriend is a pisces mars and one of two of my absolute closest besties is a virgo mars! so as much as i don't usually vibe with those placements in most people/don't always like the traits that come with those placements; i still am not biased against becoming close to people who have those and still have the capability to vibe with those people :') but i can still roast tf out of those placements and do still notice the traits i dislike about them in my loved ones lmao!!

for signs specifically, there's no sign i dislike!! it's more about the placement of the sign. like, i don't normally get along with aries suns or moons. but i LOVE people with aries mercurys and have the best conversations with them. i tend to have trouble communicating with/understanding pisces mercuries at times, yet pisces suns are my favourite people alive. so it really depends where the sign is!

another example: if i was single, i would never ever want to date an aquarius lmao. been there done that, no thank u! so i have that bias. but i LOVE being friends with aquas and find they make some of my closest friends. same with sag suns. so it really depends! it also /sometimes/ depends on gender for me too - because i get along really well with sag men, but i don't usually like sag sun women at all. on the reverse, i love capricorn women and nb caps, but never like cap men lol

also if anything, i actually find it easier to talk about placements i tend to "dislike" over the other placements lmao!! kinda like how when you visit a nice store, you probably can only write a few sentences on their google review. but if you go to a terrible store you could easily write an essay!!

#question #SORRY THIS WAS A BIG RAMBLE ? #but anyway tl;dr: i dont avoid talking abt placements unless i dont know about them #but in terms of planets/signs/houses/etc there's not really anything i would avoid #and i love talking abt anything astrology!! even the placements i dont get along with #i still enjoy talking about them. esp roasting them<3 KIDDING but kind of

[flickeringart]

I’m so sorry I had to….

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#astrology #planets in astrology #zodiac signs #natal chart #the zodiac #astrology blog #astrology on tumblr #tumblr astrology #astrology on patreon #subscribe to patreon #learn about astrology #libra #libra sun #libra moon #libra mars #libra zodiac sign #libra roast #libra ascendant

[lorenlily]

anyway anyone want to tell me what this means

#astrology #birth chart #you can roast me its coool #dais speak not*

[ogdeville]

Roast My Chart

#zodiac #astrology #roast me #zodiac humor #air signs #aquarius #birth chart #zodiac placements #astrology placements #astrology chart #my placements #that's a lot of aquarius

[homosubtext]

As a libra may I ask is that interesting (derogatory) or ....?

i didn’t mean interesting (derogatory) !! i just didn’t know that kenma was a libra LMAO but it makes sense for him. i have a lot of opinions about astrology but i actually don’t have many opinions on libras for whatever reason 🤨

#i love astrology <3 #maybe i shouldn’t start roasting certain signs tho idk what signs all my moots are so i need to be careful #larrieblocklist #kozume kenma #reymbles #here’s the mail it never fails 💌