#Because that line is absurd

[lauransoverthinking]

Every year I watch White Christmas. It was a thing with my mom and I when I was a kid and it goes on to this day.

When you watch something this many times, new things jump out every time.

For example:

How does Vera-Ellen tap so fast? Like.. feet can do that?

Danny Kaye's facial expressions are always amazing. He should be in more memes.

BING CROSBY HAS NO IDEA HOW OLD HE IS

Bing Crosby age during White Christmas - 51

Danny Kaye age during White Christmas - 43

Vera-Ellen age during White Christmas - 33

Rosemary Clooney age during White Christmas - 26

Dean Jagger (General Waverly) age during White Christmas - ALSO 51!!

The Rosemary Clooney age gap has bothered me for years, but it also isn't shocking. Some men LOVE having someone half their age as a love interest. It's gross. it's weird. It definitely takes me out of the movie. I wish I knew how Rosemary Clooney felt about it, but I haven't found anything discussing it. But it is there and I accept it.

Then today, I am watching and I get to the part where General Waverly is waiting for a letter about possibly rejoining the army. He refers to Bob as "son", implying a large age gap. Because ages in this movie make no sense, I decided to see how much older Dean Jagger, who plays General Waverly, is than Bing Crosby. I have not stopped cackling since.

Dean Jagger is SIX MONTHS YOUNGER than Bing Crosby. He had to sit there, look at someone the exact same age (and in fact slightly older than him) and act as an elder and call him son!

Bing Crosby looked at this man who is younger than him and had to act like he was old and it was time for him to learn horseshoes.

I can't. I just can't. This may have finally broken the movie for me.

#white christmas #bing crosby #danny kaye #rosemary clooney #Vera-ellen #Dean jagger #I will continue watching this movie for Danny Kaye and dancing and costumes #and also for the “how do you like that without even a kiss my foot or have an apple” line #Because that line is absurd #I informed my mom and she told me to stop overthinking #it’s like she has never met me

[freefallintothevoid]

The real reason everyone makes fun of Dicks Discowing outfit is because he's the only one that can somehow pull it off

Every superhero and vigilante has has a costume like that at some point, something daring or a bit ridiculous that in hindsight that they just couldn't make work for whatever reason. Nightwing? The pretty motherfucker not only made it work, he slayed in that outfit. It looks ridiculous by itself on display in the batcave but not when Nightwing puts it on

The only reason Dick doesn't know this is because all his siblings have collectively gaslit him into thinking that it's his worst costume to date.

#if you just look at the discowing comic era youll see what i mean #disowing PULLED #jason tried the costume once and looked so absurd hes never told anyone about it #it doesnt matter if Dick is a fashion icon or not he can make wearing trashbags look pretty #batfamily #nightwing #dc comics #headcanon #bruce goes along with it because too much exposed chest for vigilanting #that v line collar thing was really something #nightwing is canonically freaking gorgeous #batman #discowing #dick grayson #redhood

[3amsnek]

weird (not quite) autumn- one layer practice Mae with some vague leaves stuck on for funsies

#nitw #night in the woods #night in the woods fanart #nitw fanart #mae borowski #mae nitw #mae night in the woods #nitw art #night in the woods art #my art? #i have neither the hands nor the spoons for proper lined stuff so I’ve just been messing around w lineless maes in different colors #i do know she doesn’t have a tail but i did not consult a ref and also she should. tails r fun #she remains one of the hardest things for me to draw and this didn’t rly help with that but i Did actually learn to draw simple leaves #which has also been a difficulty for many years #so I guess that’s something #i seem to have severely damaged my right arm/elbow trying to Sleep. life is so much fun rn. #i literally just lightly leaned on it and bam three days of screaming stabbing pain why are my limbs made of fucking glass this is absurd #anyways. look a rare fanart appears #at midnight. because i simply cannot be arsed anymore

[loveandthings11]

He is so funny and real and sweet and still true to himself 🩷

#only wearing brown is a monstrous lie hahahaha #this was such a good-humored discussion I loved it #I liked that they talked almost all about the play but also still about succ!! #good for him for being honest that that line is not funny to him #idk we need a new word for like ‘insane’ but not ‘funny’ #like it was meant to seem desperate and absurd as an argument but not ‘haha’ you know #and I think Seth gets that but we have few words to express ourselves #I think absurd encompasses it best #also it’s so funny that Seth brought up the mustache thing because I’ve been thinking the same thing 😂 #jeremy strong #succession #kendall roy #an enemy of the people #late night with Seth Meyers #Seth Meyers #Youtube

[keefechambers]

He needs a new watch, cop.

#fast x #fast 10 #aimes #alan ritchson #fast and furious #legit this is such a dumb line it makes me giggle so much #alan ritchson has made a solid career off of playing being absurd v straight. pun intended because #the watch obviously from dante. daimes nation always wins?

[kikizoshi]

I think a true sign you've managed to write a devastatingly soul-crushing story is the quality of the fandom memes. I've observed that the more existentially painful the story, the more unhinged the humour.

#I mean just look at the Signalis community #I'm not even sure we're sane at this point #and Disco Elysium isn't fairing much better (though at least they've still their sanity) #thoughts #I think it goes along the lines of 'gotta break the tension somehow' #and the tension is so high because every part of the story is pain #and so the most absurd things make you laugh because it brings levity where there was only devastation #and I think the more painful the story the less sane the memes #Pathologic is another example #but Signalis takes the cake for the most shitposts I've seen in an adult fandom

[crossbackpoke-check]

Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman

part one | part two

#toronto maple leafs #HELLO EVERYBODY THIS HAS BEEN MONTHS!!! MONTHS IN THE MAKING BECAUSE i AM UNHINGED AND NEEDED THE PRECISE PICTURES THAT I KNEW I WOULD GET #like. seventy five percent of this has been done since the first time i posted this and while it has gotten better with time because #my narratives simply got more complex and there's so much of this that is For Me but don't worry i will explain but aLSO goddamn mitch coul #you have gotten married any later in the year. also willy you truly disappointed me by not getting an absurd haircut this year (now that #i've said this he's going to debut it on instagram like. tomorrow. but anyway that meant y'all got to enjoy my neuroses of #Loving Tyler Bertuzzi who is a goddamn leaf. the joys of having to wait to post this (was not a leaf at the time i started it) and anyway i #have at length i think had the breakdown about tyler in pigtails girl dad & how i got a bob & then tyler copied me which was rude. that's m #gender. ANYWAY starting from the top we got sheldon keefe documentation which was really just the personal decision that i wanted all the #coaching staff to be the markers in the poem/the bold & also at the TIME keefe hadn't re-signed &we thought it might be everybody out w/kyl #anyway the title of the scrap of an old lover's flannel is literally 'u think this is about sheldon & kyle NO it's about timothy liljegren' #bc. liljegren was on the marlies winning cup team & has had a contentious relationship w/keefe ever since & was healthy scratched in playof #& the narrative is sooooo. also at one point for the ryan o'reilly i was going to edit the stlb out of his grandma's shirt or cover it w/th #childhood dreams line but THEN i found the gio snapped stick one which was too perfect for 'crumbling copy' the ryan o'reilly To Me is so. #ur insane in ways u did not think for that one. like. how soft her hands were. his grandma you guys. he grew up a leafs fan. if he ever get #to lift the cup with her again i will lose my shit. the cup run a movie i remember nothing--OKAY the spezz one i knew i needed him stresse #but also i believe in the spezz/kyle narrative so. it comes up later don't worry ALSO SPEZZ FOLLOWING HIM TO PITT CAME AFTER I MADE THIS bu #the muzz tea one makes me a little sensy bc muzz was out with an injury for most of this season & it was a really scary spinal one & so yea #& then the simmer one just straight up makes me cry bc i love him so much & the work that he does for anti-racism in hockey means so much & #if you have that video open & watch it i promise you will cry i do every time it's so beautiful he had to be on comforted by beauty & sammy #boy is on the a man who doesn't know me because EYE remember the caps goalie tandems. baby lilya. the mo one is a little funny bc it is #solely due to wade's thread about mo rielly the coal miner homestead husband. that's why he moves to omaha also i think it suits him (quiet #OK NOW OLD MEN IN LOVE NARRATIVE this one's in contention for my fave bc it's spezz coping w/retirement fundamental meaningless of existenc #u heard abt tyler already that's for me the minchy picture was just too good i had found it earlier & i spent SO LONG looking for an empty #leafs rink picture for bathtub i have some cool construction photos but i wanted the melting ice ones (thought about tahoe lol) & the sprin #one i manip'd a lot bc i needed a spring picture bc playoffs clinch in spring & that one fit so coincidentally perfect bc it's 7 straight #seasons 7 guys so. :) & i KNEW i swore to god they did more milk advertising i knew i was gonna do this one from the minute i saw the poem #the milk patch & it took a hot minute BUT I FOUND THIS ONE this one's for funsies. AND THE PIC I WAITED SO FUCKING LONG FOR this is actuall #from kerf's wedding but i was like i know on god mitch is getting married this summer & that's about to be the drunkest shenanigans wedding #i'm waiting for the pics. & then i was BLESSED with this one which is beautiful & perfect & LOOK AT THEM. anyway the last one is bc

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

#i was foolishly eating while watching this special and choked on my muffin and ended up in a long coughing fit because of this line #and i thought it seemed like the kind of out of context absurdity tumblr loves #randy feltface #from his purple privilege show if you'd like to watch it it's pretty funny #mini mine #oh it's on youtube i forgot to say that

[kindaorangey]

so like whether someone enjoys eeaao or not generally breaks down to their ability to accept sincerity and absurdity in rapid succession, basically having elasticity when it comes to things that break your immersion and things that require your full immersion, and anyway i think the reason i can do that with so many things (not just eeaao) is because i grew up watching pantomimes

#thunder rambles #wrote this post in a few different ways. decided there was no good way to get my point across. decided on the 'i refuse to elaborate' part #part? sorry i meant method😭im on mobile and im not retyping #anyway heres the elaboration if ur interested #pantomimes are built around a broken down third wall and are largely very superficial and comedic #however you still have scenes where you are immersed in the comedy and forget that its just actors on a stage #and then you have scenes where the actors are talking to you (or forgetting their lines!) and that immersion is broken but that breakage is #owned by the actor #and i watched a lot of these #and yeah yeah everyone nowadays loves absurdism because of the sociapolitical state of the world. so im not special for liking absurdism #but i think i am relatively alone in my ability to switch between absurdity and sincerity so rapidly? #and its the thing that endears me to something the most #so bojack horseman miraculous ladybug eeaao #that back to the future parody that got claimed by incels #all of it has complete tonal whiplash but often carried very well #like i never laugh harder at anything than at an episode of ml #and i am laughing at the intentional jokes but most of the time im mocking the sheer ludicrousness of it all #the plotholes the animation the characterisation whatever #but i do it out of love and im still down for the more serious scenes because they are SOOOO earnest and sweet #anyway yeah same is true for eeaao. hot dog fingers i will defend you forever and always #broken down FOURTH** wall. i swear to god im not drunk😭

[guiltyidealist]

anybody else put in effort to hold it till they're at work, specifically so they can Go on the clock and gain the ~microscopic~ satisfaction of having been paid to piss n' shit?

if your antiwork activism doesn't look like mine get on my fucking level loser

#/J LAST PART Y&T^RTDRFCGH #antiwork #shitpost #but. yeah #it's ridiculous and silly and kind of absurd and outrageous #for such little payoff #but you know what. i'm 5'0'' and about 100 lbs hun i'll be the first to tell ya. it's the little things in life ✨ #trdTFCGVHJ god I love that line. been using it for years. it goes over great with strangers #with friends i'll just say the 5'0 100lbs part because they know the line so well LMAO

[loversandantiheroes]

My only complaint about Alan Wake 2 is the lack of Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds on the soundtrack.

#listen #okay #nick is perfectly suited to the remedy universe #because he routinely dances over the line between profound and absurd #which is fully remedy's bread and butter #is it deep? buddy it's not a lake it's an ocean #but it is also completely ridiculous #alan wake #alan wake 2 #not really spoilers #I demand Dig Lazarus Dig!! on AW3 #also Shadows Fall by the Soulsavers would've been great for the first game

[fragmentedblade]

"The person responded that it is true that Xianzhou people like large and strong pets, but there are also those who love petite and delicate ones. Now that he saw the sparkle in my eyes, he expected that I must be the latter"

#This man is one of those big guys with a kitten or a chihuahua‚ isn't he? #He is actually adorable and it makes the pictures of him softly handling birds while he looks at them with extreme tenderness gain layers #I love that he had read about the grimalkin in old texts‚ so appropriate. And that he was suspicious of the scam‚ so fitting #I found very cute that he made a comment about it not being an invasive species #But I adore that he couldn't turn down the offer 'after petting those tender little paws'. Truly this man is adorable haha #He called it 'Mimi' because he expected it to be cute and tiny and he got himself a lion this man is absurd and adorable I can't xD #And I love how he is not fazed by much including public opinion. How he says to Fu Xuan that about him facing the consequences as a joke #but perhaps with some truth and how he says here 'Qingzu was worried that could be bad for me‚ but I didn't think too much of it #and told her not to worry. In my opinion‚ «The Glutton General» sounds more impressive than «The Dozing General»' #Oh I love him so hahaha #However everything is cancelled. Not Jing Yuan‚ Blade‚ Fu Xuan‚ Sampo or Jingliu. My favourite character is Qingzu. We stan a funny liar #The reference to Doraemon got me lol #I can't stop thinking about Jing Yuan holding Yanqing with such tenderness in the context of these lines #And the birds. And the Yanqing—birds... parallelism? which I love. What a soft lovely man he is haha #Truly they did his character a disservice with the imposing general voice in the English dub #It's almost worth playing in Chinese for that alone #Jing Yuan #I talk too much #I can't believe he got scammed into buying a lion because he thought he was buying something small #He truly is one of those extremely stupid highly intelligent people‚ eh? #I couldn't love him more haha I find him so funny and endearing #He seems to have stopped because the cat was small and cute and he thought no one was going to buy it at first too? #He is really adorable and I can't stop thinking about Yanqing in this context

[musical-chick-13]

One of the WORST parts of having OCD is that some of the Fears™ are actually humanly possible, so it's not like my response can just be, "Oh that'll never happen" or even "I've never seen that happen, so it's probably unlikely."

#like. okay. for example. 2019 me: 'better do cleaning compulsions because oh no what if I get the Plague™' #fast forward a year to covid and that was genuinely a very real possibility. I could LITERALLY catch the plague #or on a smaller more personal scale: 'no one is going to screenshot a Bad Line™ of your fic and publicly make fun of it online-people #don't do that it'd be so extra why tf would you be afraid of that happening' except I JUST saw someone literally do that. so we engage in #Avoidance Compulsions™ as a protective mechanism because the only way to avoid a feared outcome is to never do anything! 🙃🙃 #and okay yeah these things are not created equal and one of them probably doesn't actually matter the point I'm trying to make is that #this shit affects my life on EVERY level and I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE FOR IT NOT TO DO THAT #I AM TIRED OF THE BRAIN DISEASE BEING HERE I WOULD LIKE TO BE A MENTALLY HEALTHY PERSON PLEASE #*sigh* yeah yeah the answer is erp the answer is always erp that doesn't mean it's fun #mc13 and her ocd #I'll probably delete this later because it most likely makes me look completely and utterly absurd if not straight-up stupid #(no one ELSE with this disease or fears is absurd or stupid btw. just me. it's only me who is A Problem™) #(yes I know how that sounds. I know okay.)

[mifunebooty]

Sorry to report I adored poor Things

#cherry says #GODDAMN IT WITH EMMA STONE i get it #i think its because i see myself in somebody sheltered alone in the world seeking life and fearing it #the journey of it becomes a circle #wonderful. wish there was actual surrealism in it rather than absurdism with a plot #the feminism in this is not actually as offensive as some claim i just dont think those views are in line #of viewing sex workers as people #anyways MARGARET QUALLEY AND RAMY YOUSEFF i love Frankenstein

[rohirric-hunter]

IDK how feasible it would be but it would be cool if they added the ability to scale housing decorations

#lotro #i also wish they would sit down and make the restriction on where you can position items outside make more sense #it made lots of sense last time i sat down to seriously decorate a house #basically you just couldnt move things outside the property lines #the rohan housing has 'dead spots' where you cant position things around the hitching posts #but thats not a hitching post limitation because in erebor theyre overlapping the regular decor hooks #and more recently there are suddenly a whole bunch more restrictions. like the spot just behind the mead hall barn #i can move things closer to the barn but not further away #which as you can imagine is a problem with large items that clip through the barn #and just. other weird and apparently arbitrary limitations in belfalas too #its just annoying and i wish they would just let us put stuff anywhere #there seems to be some genuine effort to prevent absurd placements of objects #but i think thats a weird priority #especially when you can turn your entire property red with the garth agarwen ambiance item

[yippeebeast]

idc if this is "evil" but im aware of my brothers horrid fear of the "i am a gummy bear" music video so sometimes when hes a bit too mean to me, i look it up and force him to watch it.

#basically whenever lil bro gets out of line #he has to watch this green gummy bear twerk #i want this phobia to have an offical name right now because it is just so very absurd out of ALL things to be scared of #its a fucking 2010's german animated music video #or whatever the fuck it is