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nriacc · 1 year

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Me & You Together Song | NRIACC: Matty’s Ending |

Nothing Revealed In A Common Crisis

Written by @imagine-that-100

Description: | Here |

Word Count: 26k

Warnings: This series contains mature content and themes throughout

A/N: Hey besties! I can’t believe this is it. We actually got to the end! Thank you so so so much for sticking with me whilst I got this fic out, I am truly so so happy that people are still reading almost 2 years after I posted the first part. It really is mindblowing to me. I’ve got a few people I need to thank, dot for helping me plan a lot of the fic and for helping write chap 8, @murderousginger and @sunsetinmyvein for editing for me. A really really big thank you is going to @red---moon and @alovesreading, I genuinely don’t think this fic would have ever got finished if I didn’t have you two for me to mindlessly rant to about it and giving me ideas and keeping me motivated (Red also gave me the idea for the arielle stuff back on the AM tour and A gave me the idea of the whole pauline storyline so you can blame them for that loolllll love you both). To the rest of you, the ones who have been reading for a longgg time, you deserve a medal, your asks and reactions have really kept me going so thank you so so so much, and if you’ve recently had a binge I really hope you enjoyed the rollercoaster of a fic. NRIACC really feels like my baby and I’m never going to write a mashup of worlds like this again, so thank you all so so much for reading and enjoying it. I'll be forever grateful for the love you’ve shown it. Now, I’ve kept you waiting long enough, I really hope you enjoy Wheels and her man's happy ending. Love you lots and enjoy x

Please let me know | Here | who’s ending you’re all choosing! (It’s all anonymous)

~*~*~*~ June 15th 2020 ~*~*~*~

Matty’s heart felt like it was bleeding for you the night you called him upset asking if you could come and stay with him. He knew his heart always hurt when you got upset but with you crying out for him, it felt scarring.

Never had he felt such pain like it. The drive to yours felt like the longest one he’d ever done, despite this being the closest you’d ever lived to each other.

The rain didn’t help his anxiety of wanting to get to you as fast as possible but thankfully the roads were mostly dead because of the late hour. When he got to your flat, he let himself in with his key and he rushed to you, finding you clutching your rabbit teddy and crying in bed.

Matty doesn’t think he’s ever felt you hug him as tight as you did that night. He had you in his arms settling you down for the next hour, getting you to a point where the tears would dry up so he could get some of your things together and get you to his house where you pleaded for him to take you.

Matty would find out in the days after you started staying with him that you’d been struggling with the confines of lockdown a hell of a lot more than you’d been letting on. It broke his heart that you didn’t reach out sooner but he’s beyond thankful you finally did because the days after he got you, he saw that spark you always have in you reignite.

The first few days of you staying with him was hard. It was clear you’d got into such a bad place due to you sleeping though most of the morning, which was really unlike you as he remembered you always having him up earlier than anyone needed to be in mornings.

Matty would also catch you living in your head a lot. You weren’t being your usual chatty self and he felt like he had to pry you back out of a shell he doesnt ever think he’s seen you go into.

But thankfully after about a week, he got you back to your normal and creative self and he did this by encouraging you to come out for walks with him. Ones that were filled with places Matty had planned for the both of you to explore to keep your mind ticking over and keep the both of you talking even after you got back to his house.

That evening, you were both sitting in Matty’s courtyard and the small view you got of the sky as the sun was going now reminded both of you of your box paintings that were always a feature at your galleries. It was the perfect picture to paint and Matty’s simple request of “Could you please paint it for me?” was one you couldn’t turn down because the look on his face really did relight that creative fire.

Thankfully, Matty had grabbed your travel kit which has everything you’d need to paint something well and when your best friend rushes to get that when you said you’d give it a go, you do so feeling that excitement in your chest. It was a race against the ever changing light to capture what you can see of the sky well on the sketching paper which Matty had never ended up using which had been buried in one of his drawers.

Your best friend was entirely vexed watching you work. The way you’d gently bite your bottom lip or the tip of your tongue when you were really concentrating made his heart stutter. It had always been the little things when it came to you that had Matty in a chokehold, and watching you paint is certainly one of them.

But the main one is your smile. And the way your whole face lit up when you finished that painting that evening had Matty falling for you all over again, but he wouldn’t risk your friendship by doing anything about that. He was just so beyond thrilled to see you happy again.

It became your little tradition in the days after that. The both of you would sit outside and you would capture the sky in a box painting of yours and Matty would watch as you’d come alive with each stroke of your brush.

You were yourself again in those days too. Matty wasn’t worrying about you or having to try and pry you out of your shell.

Inside, you were feeling so much better and in your heart you knew that was all down to Matty. In the little things that he did for you, and the way he could keep you occupied with his conversations or his music for hours on end made living this new way of life so much easier. And you found your heart slipping back into its old habits.

Watching True Romance with him almost every night certainly helped with the uneasy feelings of lockdown passing. Because as long as you had Matty by your side and for you to cuddle into, you knew you’d be okay. You’d always be okay as long as Matty was there to comfort you.

~*~*~*~

You felt yourself get back to normal the more time you spent with Matty. It was like going back to default settings and things just felt so much easier. With every hug you felt happier, with every kiss on the cheek you felt your heart grow warmer. You felt yourself again and that was all down to Matty.

A few weeks have passed with you in Matty’s presence now and you’re certainly the happiest you’ve been in a long time and you caught yourself reverting back to your old ways.

The way you would act around each other made your heart stutter because it was like you were back together again without all the acts that prove people are in a relationship. Apart from that first night you came and stayed at Matty’s, you’d been staying in his spare room, not sharing with him like you realise you desperately want to.

The nights when you both fall asleep cuddling each other whilst watching films and neither of you are disturbed until morning are your favourites because you stay in his arms. The nights when Matty wakes you up so you can be comfier in your own bed leave you with a bitter taste.

There’s not a second you don’t want him by your side now. Every single second of the day that you get to be around him is a blessing and you’ve quickly and quietly fallen for him again. But you know that’s just you letting your repressed feelings come back to taunt you a little longer.

The more you think this over though, the more you question why you’re actually holding any of your feelings back in the first place. You’ve fallen for him again, and you’re not really sure when you actually did or the exact moment it happened, but the mere fact you want to be in no one's arms but his makes you his.

And you realise this one night about 2 weeks into staying with Matty. It’s no surprise to anyone that you’re a clingy drunk, but especially when you’ve just been watching your favourite film with each other and you’re already a bottle of red deep with him.

You’re currently lying on Matty’s settee, with his chest against your back and you’ve got Good At Falling by The Japanese House playing quietly through Matty’s speakers. The both of you had been getting nostalgic, asking each other things like if the both of you remember when you first watched True Romance together and if the both of you remembered when your Aunt embarrassed him one Christmas.

The warm feeling in your chest swells when you remember the cute moments you’ve had with him, and you find yourself turning over so you can see him when you ask in your tipsy state, “Do you remember when we first saw each other?”

“Yeah,” Matty nods, and you stop yourself from chuckling at the way he forces his eyes open a little more as if to try and prove to himself he’s not tipsy. He recalls the moment for you, “You were a very pixelated pretty girl on Skype somehow related to my best mate... I still don’t quite believe you’re related to Hann.” he tells you as he tucks your hair behind your ear so he can see you better.

“Your Aunt, definitely.” Matty grins, but he shakes his head, “But Hann… I don’t know how that works.”

“He’s not that different from me, you know?” You hum in amusement, before you ask, “Can I have a proper cuddle please?”

Your boundaries and filter has clearly been drowned away with the amount of alcohol you’ve had, or that will be your excuse anyway. Thankfully though, Matty nods with a smile and the both of you manoeuvre yourself so you’re lying between his legs with you practically hugging him as you nuzzle yourself into his chest.

Matty’s arms wrap around your back as he says, “He is, you’re a lot better.” and he even pulls the blanket over the both of you as it’s on the back of the settee.

You hum, fully enjoying how close you are to him and the comfort he brings you with his hand softly running up and down your back. And after a few moments of silence, you ask him, “Do you remember when I was over one year and you came not to talk to me or to Adam, but to my Aunt and Uncle so you could convince them that Adam had to stay around and go to Uni of Manchester?”

“I do.” Matty laughs a little remembering how dead set he was that the band was going to work and how mental that must have been for you to hear. “Although I remember that trying to convince Ross’ Mum and Dad was more difficult because they were so set on him having Salford Uni as his second choice instead of his first.”

“I’m glad everyone stuck around.” You say as you look around Matty’s lounge and see the pictures he has dotted around of his best friends.

It warms your heart, and it warms it even more when he agrees in a soft voice, “Me too.”

After another minute of the both of you cuddling in silence as you listen to the album in the background, you ask, “Do you remember the Halloween party we had?”

“The one where you dressed up as a sexy version of Wednesday from the Addams family? Or a different one?” Matty asks for clarification a little too fast which makes you laugh.

You nod against his chest, “Yeah, I was meaning that one.”

“Yes I remember that one very well.” Matty grins as he starts gently playing with the ends of your hair, “I fucking dreamt about that one for weeks.”

As you giggle at that admission, your best friend tells you, “Your emo phase really gave me more of the hots for you, Wheels.”

You smile, not finding that surprising at all, so you joke, “Who knew your downfall was black hair dye and a pair of fishnets, ey?”

“Mmm,” Matty hums in amusement, “The fact it was you played a part too though.”

“What about that girl Alice you were seeing for a while? The one before Lucy?” You ask, only vaguely remembering her but she definitely dressed a little emo like you, when her and Matty were sleeping together. “She definitely fit the bill.”

“She wasn’t you, Wheels.” Matty reminds you, as no one has ever really come close to you. The woman who’s lying in his arms today, the woman he doesn’t ever really want to let go of.

His words fill your heart with joy again and you sit with that for a minute before you ask him another question. “Do you remember coming to my eighteenth?”

“Yes, and you were wearing fishnets with a skater skirt and… I could never forget just how good you looked that night.” Matty can’t help but smile at the memory of you being so happy when you saw him and when you unwrapped that skateboard they bought for you. “Not to mention that was the first time you called me Curly.”

“I can’t believe you remember that night so vividly,” You chuckle, looking up at him as you admit, “I barely remember it, well, anything after nine o’clock anyway.”

“You were really drunk to be fair,” Matty smirks at you, “And I was just enamoured by you so I was watching you all night.”

“You realise if you weren’t obsessed with me you’d have known I was actually friends with Arctic Monkeys because they were all there.” You grin right back at him, still finding it hilarious that he didn’t believe you for so long.

“Damn, yeah.” Matty chuckles, and he resumes playing with the ends of your hair once you rest it back down on his chest. He ends up giggling to himself when he admits, “I only remember Y/B/F though... She was just as fit as you.”

You frown a little, even though he can’t see your face, but you call out his double standard nonetheless, “And you had an issue when I said I fancied George.”

“I never tried to shag your best friend, did I?” Matty makes a very good point, “You can’t say the same about that, can you?”

“Okay okay.” You know when you’ve been beaten so you’ll give him this one, “You have a point.”

Both of you giggle then and you settle again. You let your eyes close as you listen to Faraway over the speakers and it makes you snuggle into him impossibly closer. It warms your heart that this is the song Matty’s backing vocals are on and it makes you smile when he starts soft humming along to it now underneath you.

The lyrics really hit you hard, and it's at this moment you promise yourself that in the next few days you’re going to tell him how you feel. And even feeling him run his fingers through your hair now it makes your heart race for him, you want him back how you used to be when you were together properly.

And the thoughts of you together makes you nostalgic again. And you think back to the first summer you met again.

“What about teaching me how to skate?” You ask, keeping your eyes closed wanting the visual memories to come back more vividly, “Remember that?”

“That was such a fun day.” Matty can’t help but grin at the memory. “Will never forget the sheer panic on your face when I told you to move on your own.”

He feels you chuckle against his chest before you tell him, “I remember watching you all and feeling so left out… I just wanted to be as good as you all but I was scared.”

“Yeah, your first time on the ramps told me as much.” Matty laughs again remembering the way you were clinging to his arm and begging him to go on a slope instead.

You giggle again at that before saying, “And now I’m even better than you.”

“Well, the student becomes the jedi master or whatever shit Hann says.” Matty hums in amusement and it warms his heart when you let out a loud laugh. God, he just wants to kiss the top of your head and have you stay in his arms like this forever.

After another few seconds, you feel the need to ask again, “Do you remember-”

But Matty interrupts you, “Do you think I’ve forgotten?”

“What?”

“Do you think I’ve forgotten?” He repeats himself.

You’re so confused, “About what?”

“About you?” Matty puts it simply, “About us?”

When you look up at him, still seeming like you don’t understand where the question has come from, ”You keep asking loads of questions about us and if I remember... Do you think I’ve forgotten about you, Sweetheart?

Your drunk and now tired mind almost lets your feelings spill. Truthfully, you want to go over everything to remind yourself why you love him, and you don’t want to ruin this moment with him now if he doesn’t love you too. So you settle on explaining, “I don't know if you remember everything I do. There's a lot to remember... I bet you remember so much about me in the years you were pining for me that I don't.”

The way you timidly say it, like you're almost scared or embarrassed to admit it makes Matty want to reassure you more than he ever has done before. He doesn’t want you for a second to think that you’re forgettable.

“I’d never forget about you, Sweetheart.” Matty looks into your eyes as he tells you that, and his face is soft and he’s smiling as he tells you, “You are in each of the best moments of my life… Top three are all you.”

Your eyes go a little wide, “Really?”

“Yeah.” Matty nods, his grin getting bigger.

“Do you remember the day you told me you loved me?” He asks you, really hoping you do because it means so much to him.

You nod, remembering the day well, “Course I do.” and you really hope that one day soon you can start telling him again.

“That was the second best day of my life.” Matty tells you, “I remember sitting on the ramp in the skatepark and we were in our own little world. Entirely in everyone’s way and I knew we both knew what was coming... But when I finally said it and you said it back, I could finally breathe again.”

You almost want to cry when you remember just how much you loved him, and it's never really gone away because it's just been built upon and it’s come back so much stronger. Matty proudly states again as he tucks your hair behind your ear again, “Second best day of my life.”

“Second?” You ask a little curiously, because if that’s his second you don’t know what his top will be.

Matty nods, “Yep.”

“What was the first?” You have to ask.

He grins at you and you know he will tell you, but he instructs, “Ask me my third first.”

“I hope your third is your music.” You really really hope it’s something like the day he won a Brit Award or a day one of his albums reached number one.

So you’re surprised when he shakes his head, “Nope.”

“Please tell me it’s something to do with music.” You need it to be at this point, because how can his music not be in his top three?

“If you count my muse as something to do with music, sure.” Matty's smile gets bigger when your eyes widen and you shake your head at him. He knows you’re about to tell him off so he tells you, “Music is involved but the music isn't why it was one of my favourite days.”

You practically plead with your eyes for him to tell you then, and when he does you don’t know how you restrain yourself from kissing him there and then.

“The day you told me that you’d be my girlfriend. That day you kissed me on stage and told me that you liked me back.” Matty finally tells you, “Will always be up there.”

Your heart is beating even faster for him when you ask, “So what's number one?”

“The day we kissed for the first time in my bedroom.” Matty reveals, and you can see the genuine happiness on his face when he says, “That blew me away… Still don’t really think there will ever be a day like it.”

“You were all I’d wanted for so so long. And I couldn’t believe it actually happened.” You can feel how much he means his words as he smiles, “If your shirt that you changed out of wasn't in my room that night I wouldn’t have believed it happened… My lips tingled for days.”

You’re so in love with this man, it hurts.

But Matty ends his anecdote with a laugh, “All the while you were going through a moral dilemma because of your twat of a boyfriend.”

“Yeah well Peter can get fucked.” You chuckle, and you move a little further up Matty’s body so you can bury your face into his neck, “He never made me feel like you did when we were together. It was infinitely better with you Curly, I wish I’d just phoned him up and broke up with him then and there and stayed in Manchester.”

“I wish you did too.” Matty sighs a little as his arms wrap around your back again, hugging you impossibly closer.

After a minute, you hear him ask, “Do you know the exact moment I fell in love with you? Did I ever tell you?”

“I don't think we did share that with each other.” You tell him, and by your voice Matty can tell you’re getting tired now, so he makes your brain work a little.

Matty asks, “Do you know the moment for you?”

“Yeah,” You nod into his neck, “But I need to know yours first though… And I mean like proper love, not love at first sight.”

“I knew at the top of that ferris wheel.” Matty starts gently routing his fingers through your hair and he gives you a head massage.

He knows you’re tired and he remembers doing this to get you to relax to go to sleep endless times when you were together. “I knew I was down so so bad for you that day. And when you kissed me at the top, I knew you were it for me.”

Your heart bursts as the memories come back to you, and you’re closing your eyes even tighter in hopes that you’ll dream about it and relive it all over again. He makes your heart swell when he continues, “You made me feel so safe being with you up there… I just remember thinking ‘I love this girl so much, I never want to let her go’.”

You just about manage to say through the lump that’s just formed in your throat, “You’re so adorable.”

Matty smiles at that, and he can tell you're going to fall asleep any minute so he asks you, needing to know, “What about you? When did you fall for me.”

“Which time?” You say without really thinking about it.

Matty instinctively says, “The first time.” not fully processing what you just said.

“When you held my hand at my Aunt and Uncle's wedding during the speech when he started talking about my Dad…” Your tired voice explains and Matty wants to do nothing more than kiss you and hold you tighter when you say, “No one had ever done that for me before and you didn’t let go even after the subject moved on and I was so so thankful to you… I fell for you hard that day.”

Matty’s eyes tear up at that, and he can’t stop himself from quickly kissing the top of your head. He can feel the lump in his throat but he forces himself to take a few breaths so he doesn’t just start crying.

Matty had always asked you so many questions about your Dad and what he was like. He didn’t want you to ever feel like it was a subject you shouldn’t bring up as he knew that’s how your Mum sometimes made you feel. So it really means a lot to Matty that the reason you really knew you loved him is that moment.

At this point, you can feel yourself falling asleep so with every ounce of sincerity you can muster, you whisper, “Thank you for falling in love with me.”

Matty’s sure his heart stops for a second. Because his hand moving to give you your head massage definitely does for a second, but he covers that by kissing your head again before he whispers back, “You made it the easiest thing to do.”

Matty gets lost in his own memories of the both of you then. He goes over everything he can remember from the first time you met to you in his arms right now. And he holds you tighter when he thinks back to some of it, but he’s so grateful that you’ve found your way back into his arms now.

Matty can’t help but smile as he thinks about the conversation you just had with him. He loves how open you still are about everything, even if the alcohol is loosening your lips a little.

But then when he recalls near the end of your chat, when he asked if you remembered when you fell in love with him, he almost gasps when he realises what your reply was.

He’s unable to stop himself from thinking out loud and asking, “Wait, what did you mean which time?”

There was more than once that you fell in love with him? He knows that you’d always said that when you fell for both him and Alex it was because you’d just repressed your past feelings for him. But then after the both of you last slept together, the both of you knew that was a closing chapter in your life.

There was no doubt that Matty had since fallen for you again. With how supportive you were after Gabby split with him and how you’d been with him before lockdown, it makes his brain light up with the question, Has she fallen for me again?

But when Matty tries to look down at you for an answer, he realises you’re asleep in his arms. And that’s when he realises how long it’s been. Good At Falling is already at Faraway again meaning that that album has at least repeated itself more than once, so you’ve probably been asleep for a while now and he’s not noticed.

Your best friend lets you rest and now he stops giving you a head massage like he realises he has been doing for God knows how long and he just rests his hand on your back instead. However, Matty doesn’t know if it was the fact he stopped playing with your hair or something else that seemed to have you stir but after about 10 minutes you woke up.

“Sorry,” You hum, “I fell asleep.”

“Let’s go bed, Sweetheart.” Matty encourages, rubbing your back a little to encourage you up even though he doesn’t want to let you go.

However, you plead, “Can we stay here please?” really not wanting to move out of his arms and get into a cold bed that you didn’t have him to warm you up in.

“You’re lucky I connected the lights to my Alexa the other month.” Matty gives you the confirmation and you smile like a fool in love as you let yourself try to get back to sleep then.

You feel like you’ve never been so cosy. You wish you could stay here forever.

After Matty turns off the lights and music on his phone, he lets it fall back beside him and he cuddles you into him more. And when he gently rests his head against yours, you know he’s going to try and get some sleep as well which makes you happy.

Matty has always found sleep tedious, but somehow you make it a lot easier for him. He’s almost asleep when he hears you whisper, “So far.”

“What?” He hums, not understanding where it’s come from.

But you really make his heart warm and he falls asleep with a smile on his face when he hears your reply.

“They’re the best moments of your life so far.”

~*~*~*~ June 24th 2020 ~*~*~*~

“Look what Jamie just dropped off.” Matty walks back into his lounge with a huge grin on his face and he’s holding up the Notes On A Conditional Form vinyl.

“Oh my god,” You make grabby hands at it, so keen to finally see what it looks like in person. Matty giggles and passes it to you as he comes to sit beside you.

Eagerly you pull the record out of the sleeve and your jaw drops when you see how glorious the neon yellow pressing of it is. You coo, absolutely loving it, “It looks so pretty.”

“It does.” Matty hums, delighted at the vinyl itself and seeing the way you’re grinning at it.

After admiring it for a minute more, you carefully put it back into the sleeve and then back into the record jacket which you see is the alternate, minimalist version of the album art.

You did both of them as asked, neither were that hard but the one that has the yellow cover you know is going to be the cover of the album on Spotify and all the other streaming platforms so you decide to ask about it.

“I still don’t know why I did all that artwork for Notes and then you quickly went for the minimalist sleeve.” You raise an eyebrow, hoping he’d answer the question for you.

“Cheaper.” Matty tells you, “Better for the environment, and that’s what I’m passionate about at the minute.”

“Yeah,” You nod, thinking it through and realising it probably is, “Fair enough.”

You look at the record in your hands again though and ask Matty, “Can I please listen to it?”

“Mmm,” He hums, “I don’t know.”

You pout then, leaning that little bit closer as you say, “Please.”

Other than the songs you’d heard on tour, you had no idea what the others sound like. You know that the album overall is all of the electronic synths and that is the vibe they have gone for with this album but you’re just so keen to hear it all and in the order they all settled on.

“It’s out soon,” Matty reminds you, “Do you not wanna wait till the listening party?”

That was originally the plan, you were in no rush to hear it, but now you’re just so keen to listen to the new album as you haven't heard anything new in so long. And you’ve been eagerly waiting for this album since you were on the US tour with them last year when they were recording it in the back of the bus and you just let them be.

“No, I want to be rapidly tweeting along with you.” You say, despite knowing it’s just a few more weeks you would be waiting. But the excitement has hit you now the album is physically in your hands, “I wanna know every last word by then.”

Matty takes a few seconds then and you really don’t know which way he’s going to decide. But when he sighs, “Okay.” you have to double check.

There’s excitement in your voice when you do, “You’re gunna let me listen?”

“If you will let me have that last painting you did outside.” Matty grins.

It was just a quick one you’d done two nights ago. The sky was a mixture of red blue and purple and you captured the moment so well and despite it just being a quick painting you weren’t attached to, Matty loved it. Yet another one he would proudly frame and put up if you let him.

“Of course you can have it, Curly.” You smile, calling him by his nickname despite the fact he’s got his buzzcut now. You tell him truthfully, “Can have any of them, you don’t have to ask.”

Because the quick ones you’d been doing were just fun practice for you, you never got attached. You remember back when you were younger Matty always used to be amazed by them whilst you thought they were just okay, but the fact he still wants one now makes you stupidly happy.

Everything about him does though. He makes you happy and you’re finding it hard to keep that to yourself now.

“We can listen after tea, yeah?” Matty nods at the vinyl that you just put down on his coffee table.

You nod, hoping the day passes by quickly, “Sounds good, I’m really excited.”

You brightly grin at Matty then, and he smiles back but you can see that it doesn’t quite reach his eyes and immediately you ask him, “What’s up?”

Of course, he tries to cover up his emotions though and immediately says, “Nothing.”

At that you give him knowing eyes. You’ve known each other for 18 years, nothing is not going to be the answer he gives you when you can tell there’s something, however big or small, bothering him.

“Sorry,” Matty apologises for attempting to keep it from you, but he leans back into his seat and takes a deep breath before telling you the truth, “I just get nervous when I know you’re going to hear an album.”

You’re thankful that it’s only that, and you can instantly calm him because there’s no way you won’t love his album. You adore all of his others and think they’re amazing and you will tell him that if you need to.

“Really?” You have to ask, “Why are you nervous?”

“I don’t want you to hate it… I don’t want you to be upset at anything I’ve said, not that I think I've said anything in this album but it still worries me.” Matty explains, a sombre mood falls over him when he tells you something you didn’t know he knew about. “I know you told me about you listening in LA but Jamie told me how bad you were as well a few years back and it haunts me a little… I never wanted to make you feel like that.”

“No,” You shake your head, not wanting him to think about that because you know how he’s probably taken it, “Don’t apologise for that.”

You turn towards Matty properly as you take his hand to hold as you address that specific night, “I took a lot of those songs the wrong way the first few times I heard them. I took everything as a personal attack when a lot of the things weren’t about me either.”

You continue as you look into his brown eyes, silently pleading for him to believe you, “I was in a weird headspace back then and I was looking for things to hurt me. Everything's so much different now, Matty... I’m so much happier than I was and regardless I don’t hate any of the songs on that album. I listen and I think they are gorgeous even if they do still hit every now and again, but that's a risk with every album that’s about me, not just yours.”

“I-” Your best friend tries to start, but you need him to understand, so interrupt.

“I adore your music, Matty.” You put it as simply as possible for him, and you squeeze his hand when you say, “I love all of it… I-”

You have to stop yourself then because you almost tell him how you feel, something that you at least want to do after your birthday tomorrow. You’d like at least one more day of being as close as you are in case his feelings aren’t the same as yours.

“I loved A Brief Inquiry.” You start again and remind him, “Did you think I hated that album?”

“No, but I was still nervous when the release date came around.” Matty tells you honestly.

“Matty,” You want to hug him and never let go as you can still see the worry in his eyes. Thinking of things that can help, you remind him, “I’ve heard a few already and I don’t hate them.”

“Not even the things that are about you?” He questions because he really is worried about it.

The last thing he wants to do is upset you with anything he’s written about you. Even though he has been better with this album to not directly reference you, the lyrics just sort of ended up finding Matty and after he recorded them he realised a lot of them were about you and how he felt about you.

“No.” You promise him, “Writing songs has always been your cathartic way of getting your feelings out. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, and even if they do sting sometimes I don’t hate you for it Matty. I’m glad you’re getting it out.”

“I’m still so sorry for hurting you… For everything around 2016 really.” Matty’s eyes fall to his lap when he adds when his voice falters, “And everything earlier.”

Instantly, you know he’s thinking back to the accident. The cheating too but you know the accident is such a triggering subject for him you don’t want that to start plaguing him again like it once did.

“Hey.” You squeeze his hand. Gently asking him, “Please look at me.”

You see him blink a few times before he looks up and your heart bleeds for him. If you could take it all away from him you really would. The last thing you want is for him to feel guilty again about the accident that wasn’t his fault. You would literally find the police report again if you had to.

Seeing those brown eyes again but this time filled with a little more water than before, you remind him, “We agreed we’d live easier.”

“I know, but it still keeps me up sometimes, Wheels.” Matty says in a strained voice but he clears his throat a little to try again, “Not all the time, like it used to, but sometimes it just creeps back in.”

“Well that’s not allowed anymore.” You hope that he can hear just how much you mean your words in your voice as you promise him, “Just like your letter said about it being my reminder if I needed to remember how much I’m loved, I’m here and always will be to remind you that you’re forgiven.”

Matty has to look down at your hand then as his eyes fill with more water and his throat closes up. He takes your hand in both of his this time and he massages it for a silent minute and you just let him go through it, knowing he’ll speak up when he can and he wants to.

Your heart really does ache seeing him like this. All you want to do is trap him in a massive hug and tell him you love him and kiss him until all of those feelings go away.

And this is the moment you promise yourself that you're going to tell him how you feel. You’ll will do it the morning of the day after your birthday because you don’t want to waste anymore time. At this point you’re starting to feel like you’re hiding things from him and that’s the last thing you want.

Little did you know, Matty is having a similar conversation in his own head. After what you just told him, he doesn’t know how he hasn’t just told you how in love with you he is, and how everything that he once felt has come right back and it’s even stronger than it ever was.

He still finds it so shocking that you forgive him. Guilt still eats away at him a lot of the time, but it comes on in waves these days. Sometimes he’ll be okay for a while and then it will devour him for a few days at a time leaving him wanting to do nothing but curl up in bed and cry.

So the mere fact that you remind him that you’re able to forgive him has Matty emotional. He remembers you telling him before, that night in 2017, and you’ve told him again once or twice since but it really hits home for him now.

Hopefully things won’t keep him up tonight now you’ve reminded him of that. But he’ll probably just stay awake thinking about how he can possibly tell you the way he feels about you. Because he needs to tell you soon.

After a few minutes of you watching him, and him massaging your hand, Matty looks up at you and he smiles as much as he can and says, “Thank you, Sweetheart.” and he kisses the back of your hand too before repeating, “Thank you.”

~*~*~*~

You’re still a little certain Matty was putting it off for as long as possible for you both to listen to Notes tonight. Which you now understand but you were so insistent and excited Matty finally caved and put it on about 10pm.

You adored the new instrumentals that came after People, and you thought they were so beautiful. And the first new song with lyrics you heard was Yeah I Know which you really enjoyed too.

Then Because She Goes came on and you could sense Matty was a little on edge. He didn’t look at you during it which gave you an inkling that it might be about you. And when you heard the lyric ‘beautiful, please don’t cry, I love you’, you really hoped it was about you and it made you feel a little braver about telling him how you feel in a few days.

Jesus Christ 2005 has Matty singing with Phoebe Bridgers and as soon as they released the studio version a month ago, you’d fallen in love with it. You’d only heard Matty’s version of the song when he sang it during an interview in America that you were there for, but Phoebe’s vocals beside Matty’s made it even more gorgeous.

Roadkill made you laugh, as it was just a summary of that American tour and it sounds like a feelgood song. You also really loved the references to Robbers that he included too. Of course, you also already know Me & You Together Song but it makes your heart ache even more as you just long to tell Matty how in love with him you are.

Whilst you love the sound of I Think There’s Something You Should Know your heart hurts for Matty because he sounds like he’s going through it in the song, especially the second verse. It breaks your heart listening to what he’s talking about experiencing.

The first real line of Nothing Revealed / Everything denied being ‘I never fucked in a car, I was lying, I do it on my bed, lying down not trying’ makes you look at Matty acusingly. Because that was a blatant lie.

When the both of you couldn’t be at either Adam’s or his house the both of you went on your drives and got up to no good in the car. Both of you end up giggling through that song as you playfully call him a liar and you bully him for it and ask him again if he’s forgotten all of the things you got up to. You end up having to restart the song to hear it all properly as you were laughing so much.

Now you’re waiting for the next one to start which you can see from the back on the vinyl is Tonight (I Wish I Was Your Boy). As the beginning of it starts with the high pitched vocals, you quickly ask Matty, “Is this one about me?”

“The chorus is,” Matty looked like he was debating with himself before telling you that. But he continues, “Not the verses, I just made that up for a story to the song. But Yeah.”

You nod, not minding at all, as the title of the song really gives you some hope. But you need to listen first.

Matty goes shy on you again when the chorus starts, looking at the ground instead of your reaction. Which is fine but hearing him sing tonight I wish I was your boy makes you want to throw yourself at him and kiss him until you both need oxygen again.

As the song fades out Matty risks a glance at you, and when he already sees you looking longingly at him his heart leaps in his chest. He doesn’t really know where the confidence comes from, but he ends up turning the music down a little whilst he asks, “Did I fuck it royally?”

“No,” You shake your head, your voice soft with a little trace of amusement in it as you clarify, “You didn’t fuck it, you muppet.”

You’re trying to say it without actually saying it and you know that it really isn't what you should do, but what you said gives Matty that little push he needs.

“Listen Wheels,” Matty turns to you a little more, and shuffles closer to you on the settee as he starts, “I’ve been wanting to tell you that over the last few weeks… I’ve really enjoyed you being around again and I- I don’t know if I should be saying this…”

You feel like your heart is in his throat as he continues, “I guess I’ve been nervous about it, but it’s you. You’re my Wheels and I shouldn’t feel nervous talking to you, and… yeah.”

The smile you’re trying to suppress is really fighting to come out as you watch Matty fidget and look almost anywhere but at you. His hands run over his short hair, a new habit of his now he can’t tuck his hair behind his ears when he’s nervous. But at this point you know what he’s trying to say.

“And you deserve the truth if nothing else, and I guess I just want to tell you that I-, we-, I-” Matty stumbles on his words before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before saying, “Sorry, just give me a second.”

Despite your heart now thudding rapidly in your chest. You work up the courage to do it. Just a few seconds of mindless bravery and you hope with everything that you have that it will pay off in the way you want it to.

“I’m in love with you, Matty.” You tell him.

It’s to the point, plain and simple. No room for any misunderstandings to take place, and as soon as you’ve told your truth you feel lighter for it. He knows… The ball is in his court now.

Immediately Matty looks up at you, shock clear in his voice, “What?”

“Yeah.” You nod, and you tell him everything, “It’s been on my mind for months, even more whilst I’ve been here. But I was scared to tell you.”

Matty ends up asking, “Why were you scared?” despite him not even being able to get his words out to tell you himself because he felt exactly the same way.

“Scared you wouldn’t want to try again with me.” Saying that makes you a little emotional.

It’s a scary possibility and the thought of it hurts your soul more than you’d ever let on if this did end up going the other way. But you’re worrying for absolutely nothing.

“Wheels, you’re all I’ve ever wanted,” Matty’s getting choked up as he smiles and tells you, “I love you so fucking much and I always have.”

Hearing that makes your eyes prick with tears, but even more so when he continues, “Of course I’d want to try again. Been dreaming about the idea for weeks.”

You giggle, wiping away your watery eyes before it turns into real tears, “So have I.”

It’s just relief flooding your system and seeing that Matty is the exact same makes you feel a little better about it. Both of you laugh as you dry your eyes before Matty chuckles, “Fuck sake Sweetheart. Come here.”

And you don’t hesitate for a second. His arms are open to you and you throw yourself into them, but immediately you attach your lips to his.

You’ve missed the feeling of him so much, the way his kisses light up your whole body and make everything feel okay. Kissing him feels like you're young, like it's the first time all over again and you never want to let him go.

It's a searing kiss, filled with all the longing and passion you have for each other as you hold onto him tightly, completely afraid to let go. It almost feels like a dream, but one that you’re certain each of you wouldn’t mind never waking up from.

With each kiss you’re trying to silently tell him just how much you love him over and over again and Matty is matching your intensity, making you feel his love like you’re hoping he feels yours. He’s your Curly, your match made in heaven, your soulmate, you were always meant to mean this much to each other in some way or another.

Both of you don’t want the moment to end, your lips feeling lonely and tingling for more when you pull away. But you have so much you want to say to him that you hold yourself back from kissing him until both your lips are swollen.

Matty is holding your waist tightly as you straddle his lap, but when you pull back, he can’t help but giggle as he tucks your hair behind your ear as he admits, “I’ve been wanting to kiss you for weeks.”

“Same.” You giggle, and both your thumbs are brushing his cheeks as you hold his face. And you’re so stupidly happy that you’re back in his arms that you’re trying to memorise everything about this moment. You tell him softly, “I’ve missed you.”

Matty’s watching you too, no doubt taking the moment in as well, but he makes your heart burst for him even more when he kisses you again and he mumbles against your lips, “I’ve missed you so much more.”

This time you kiss him properly, deepening it almost straight away. And it could be a minute or it could be ten that passes but neither of you care, you’re just beyond happy to be kissing each other again and with the knowledge that you know you love each other too, it makes things all the more special.

When the both of you part, neither of you move away. You have your foreheads against each others as you catch your breath and share a quiet moment.

Matty smiles as he brushes his nose against yours in the softest eskimo kiss, loving the way he can practically see your eyes sparkle. You can’t disguise the pure and utter elation that you’re feeling.

“So?” Matty hums, the huge grin on his face not leaving for a second. He can’t really believe he gets to ask, “Curly and Wheels round two?”

Your heart melts entirely and you nod, wanting nothing more in the world. You tell him honestly, “You’re it for me, Matty.”

He wants to cry hearing that because that’s exactly how he feels. You feel like you could burst with happiness when he nods, agreeing entirely, “I want it all with you, Sweetheart.”

“I’m going to marry you.” You promise him, giggling slightly but that’s what you’ve always wanted with him.

“Good,” Matty nods, and he’s grinning like a fool when he says, “Because I will ask at some point.”

You giggle at that before kissing him again. You’re beyond words, beyond happy, and entirely too emotional to do anything else. All you can do is kiss the man you love with everything you have left to give him.

Both of you find it difficult to keep kissing, as all you wanted to do was carry on grinning. You have no doubt that for a long while you’ll be like this, all gooey and obnoxiously in love with each other but you already don’t want to change anything about it.

Matty loves you so much, and he always has and always will. Hearing you say that you loved him before was like cupid had shot him through the heart with an arrow all over again. Never for a second did he think he would get this second chance with you but the fact you seem to have felt the same way for months, just like him, has him thanking every higher power there might be.

From the first moment his eyes landed on you, he knew you were it for him. Forever would you plague his mind, body, and soul in the best way possible. It has meant that he’s loved you with everything he has, on every possible level imaginable, and he can’t let himself think about it for too long because he doesn’t want to cry, even though they would be happy tears.

Instead Matty pulls on your hair a little to stop you from pulling away and he bites your bottom lip too, still loving the way you react when you do it. And even when he pulls away to gently kiss all over your face to make you softly giggle before teasingly kissing down your neck, he’s just so thrilled your back in his arms and he gets to experience everything with you all over again but now with a fresh start.

He’s not ever going to fuck it again. You mean far far too much to him to ever let anything stupid happen again.

Of course, whilst you love him kissing your neck, right now you want his lips on your own again, but without his curls to pull on to encourage him back up it’s a little difficult. You end up giggling a little as you move your hand under his jaw and nudge him back up to you that way.

After a few more kisses, you pull away, before pleading, “Please can you grow your hair back. Please.”

You need his curls back. Whilst it's not a deal breaker, you miss them so much and all you want to do is be able to play with his hair again.

Matty giggles at your appeal, knowing it was bound to come at some point. But he nods and promises you, “Yes, I’ll grow my hair back.”

Truthfully, he would probably promise you anything at this moment in time with you like this in his arms again.

“Missed my Curly so much.” You fake a pout as you run your fingers over what little hair he has at the moment.

“I’ve always been right here, Sweetheart.” Matty reminds you, “Not going anywhere.”

Your heart feels like it could burst again, and you tell him again, “I love you.”

And like he’s always been able to, Matty can see just how much you mean it in your eyes. You’ve always been so easy for him to read and he adores that he can see how much it affects you when he tells you, “I love you.”

You all but melt in his arms, and you’re completely and utterly besotted with him. You kiss him again and it’s just as electric as it was years ago. From the little pecks to the lengthy kisses, he takes your breath away and you’ve always taken his away.

Even when you eventually part, and just sit beside each other to cuddle together and Matty puts the end of the album on at your request, you can’t stop grinning. Not even when he goes back to where you were up to and he realises what was playing when you told each other how you felt.

“I’ve just realised you told me you love me whilst Shiny Collarbone was on in the background.” Matty sighs, “That’s really not how I envisioned that going.”

You can’t help but giggle at that now though, finding it rather hilarious after just hearing the song properly again.

“Not what I imagined either,” You laugh, “It’s yet another unconventional but very us moment, that’s for certain. But I love that.”

You end up cuddling into him even more as you both lie down on his settee and listen to the end of the album. You’ll have to have a proper listen again tomorrow because for the last half of it you’re entirely too joyous to pay it the attention it deserves.

Especially because your head is buried into Matty’s neck for most of it as you whisper how much you love him.

Matty shamelessly asks you after a couple of songs, “Do you wanna watch True Romance after the album and tell me you love me because I wanna watch it and tell you?”

“Of course I do.” You smile, kissing just below his ear before you trace them up his jaw until you find those pretty lips of his again.

You stay in that loved up bubble until his new album ends and even then it’s almost a hardship for you to let each other go for long enough to set True Romance up for you both to watch.

Of course, all throughout the film you’re stealing kisses from each other in between quoting the characters. In the parts neither of you care for, you cuddle yourself into the other more, loving the feeling of being back in each other's arms as close as you’ve wanted to be for weeks with the freedom to kiss each other.

I love you’s and I adore you’s were said throughout. Some whispered like it was a fun little secret that you were telling each other, others professed like you want to shout it from the rooftops.

But when the film draws to a close, with the happy ending version obviously, you kiss Matty as the iconic soundtrack music of You’re So Cool plays. And when you pull away, you’re grinning as you tell him, “I love you so much, Curly.”

Whilst you know in your heart it's impossible for him to, you do love it when Matty kisses you whilst he promises, “I love you so so so so so much more, Wheels.”

~*~*~*~ July 24th 2020 ~*~*~*~

Going to a live-in studio after a week of isolation from you all was probably the best thing for all of you. The only downside of it would be that you and Matty haven’t yet told any of the band that you’re back together again, officially or otherwise. They know nothing.

You’d done this mostly because of the fact you and Matty were nothing if not self-aware. You’ve been obnoxiously and almost sickeningly sweet with each other.

Since getting back together, you’ve barely left each other alone. You go on walks together, you eat together, you sit practically in the same seat despite there being a full settee for the both of you, and not to mention the way you cling to each other when you’re cuddling in bed.

It’s been nice just the two of you getting silently acquainted with each other again, both body and mind. Both of you have been the happiest you have in a long long time and you knew nothing would change that.

But now lockdown restrictions are a little easier, and the boys album is finally out, of course Matty was itching for something else to do. So that is how you’ve all ended up at this studio that you will be living in for the next few months.

You know you and Matty are staying here for the full time, as is George. You know that Adam will come and go so Carly isn’t on her own all the time, and you know Ross has been staying at his mates house over lockdown too so he might go between you all and them too.

It’s honestly a miracle that either you or Matty have let each other go long enough to get all of your stuff in the house. You’ve done a pretty good job at leaving each other alone too whilst you greet the rest of your friends but now it’s got to the point where you need to tell them.

The five of you are in the big lounge this place has and you take a deep breath before you stand up.

Here goes nothing.

“Okay,” You get their attention, “So you know I’ve been staying with Matty and-.”

“Yeah,” George interrupts, “Pretty offended you called him and not me.”

Instantly you snort at that, a serious moment quickly becoming funny with his fake jealousy and glare. You pout, “I’m sorry Georgie.”

He hums in fake forgiveness but the smirk that pulls at his lips gives him away that he’s joking. You’re about to start again, but just as you open your mouth, the drummer speaks up again, “You’re looking very pretty today, Baby.”

Whilst the nickname still makes your cheeks go hot, you say, “Thank you George.” before you try again, “But yeah, like I was saying, I’v-”

Of course, he interjects again, not letting you get your words out. He opens his arms and says, “Come and give me a cuddle. I've not had one in months and it’s unfair when you’ve probably had loads of Matty.”

You sigh then, but hide it as you look down to the ground so he can’t see. After a second, you walk towards him saying, “A quick one, okay?”

The drummer nods and he happily embaraces you, letting you sit on his lap for a moment as you cuddle into his big chest. You’ve certainly missed George’s hugs whilst you’ve not been forced to be separate from everyone.

After a long few seconds you try to pull back from him but his arms stay fixed around you. So you have to tap on his chest as you instruct, “Right, let me up.”

“No,” George says as he hugs you tighter, “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” You giggle, “But we have all the time in the world.”

“Nothing as important as right now.” The drummer squishes you into an even bigger hug.

You just give in at this point and let him hold on to you. Catching Matty’s eye you know he’s getting slightly irritable now, purely because you know he’s wanted to be honest with Adam and this new delay from George is grating on him.

Bless your boyfriend though, he’s been really worried about telling Adam. He thinks that your cousin is going to kick off at him and be against your relationship, and Matty’s worried it’s going to come between his friendship with him but also how close you and Adam are.

You’ve told him time and time again that Adam will be fine with it. That Adam will be happy for the both of you, but Matty doesn’t seem to think so.

Secretly, you think that might be something to do with how protective Adam was of you after the first time you split up, with him not letting Matty fight for you or even come to collect his things from your flat. You know your cousin was just trying to minimise the hurt you were going through back then and you wish it could have been different, but that’s how it played out and it’s left Matty quite scared now.

“George,” You say seriously now, “I need to tell you all something.”

“Tell us from here.” George tries to bargain, but you need to get up.

Playfully you try to tickle him to get out, but you forget that he’s a lot stronger than you and he doesn’t like being tickled.

Immediately his hands are around your wrists stopping you, and he pulls you back into him, your wrists at his chest and he widens his eyes at you. You try and get your apology out but he’s too quick, both of your wrists are now in one of his hands and you glare and warn him, “Tickle me and I’ll hurt you.”

But of course, you’re in his lap all you can do when he tickles you is writhe and plead for him to stop. You despise the feeling of being tickled and you’ve punched him before now for him trying to do it, you’d punch anyone for trying to do it, but how you’re stuck and George is having a good laugh at you.

Matty, having enough of it with how stressed he currently is, accidentally lets the news slip as he tells George off, “Will you get off my girlfriend!”

“Your girlfriend?” Ross’ asks, at the same time George’s eyes go wide and he stops tickling.

You sigh, thankful for now being released, you tell them, “We were about to tell you.”

“I can’t believe the day finally came.” George says, deciding now he would just rest his hands on your thighs.

Ross starts to interrogate you, “Since when?”

You tell them truthfully, “The day before my birthday.”

“And you moved in with Matty when?” The bassist looks to your boyfriend for an answer.

Matty thinks for a second but he recalls, “The beginning of June.”

“Wow,” Ross appears to look back around at you with a massive shit eating grin on his face when he says, “Not even three weeks.”

“Why do you care?” Matty asks, almost accusingly.

George grumbles, “Because he’s just won a bet.”

“What?” You question, noting his disheartened face and Ross’ elated one.

“Ross said less than a month,” George explains whilst he digs his wallet out of his pocket, “I said more.”

As you see him counting out £50 in cash, you shake your head at both of them, “You’re both little shits.”

“No, that’s you for losing me money.” The drummer scorns you as he reaches across to hand his friend the money.

“No, you’ve done great,” Ross grins, taking it and pocketting it immediately before he leans down and kisses the top of your head, “I'm very happy for you.”

You’re happy about that, and Matty seems very amused that his friends have had a bet on the two of you. Truthfully it really wasn’t that surprising, but it made it all a bit more lighthearted. And you and Matty really are predictable like that so it’s funny they have tried to make a profit off of you both.

However, you realise that the most important person you wanted to tell has yet to speak a word. You look over to your cousin and try to gauge his reaction, “Ads?”

He’s silent in his chair, just watching you all. It has Matty’s heart racing and not in a good way at all. A quiet Adam could result in many different things, the worst being when he looks disappointed, closely followed by the times he’s exploded in anger, but none of you can predict how this is about to go.

And that’s why you look at him and sincerely plead, “Ads please please don’t be upset, it’s really not to make your life difficult, I just-”

“Y/N,” Your cousin holds a hand up to stop you from overthinking, “As long as you’re happy and my twat of a best mate doesn't hurt you ever again, even once, I’m happy for you.”

At that you smile and just glance at Matty because you knew he would be happy for you.

“Not going to hurt her ever, Hann,” Matty promises, looking your cousin dead in the eyes when he says, “I swear on my Nana.”

Adam maintains his eye contact for a few silent seconds, just to intimidate him the tiniest bit more before he visibly relaxes and smiles, “Then I’m happy for the both of you.”

“Wait,” Matty looks like he can’t believe what’s just been said. He asks your cousin, “Really?”

You interject thought to remind Matty, and you have a big grin on your face as you say, “I told you he’d be fine.”

Matty looks at you like he just might cry, and he looks back at Adam again wanting confirmation, “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, of course I am.” Adam nods and he looks at Matty sincerely when he says, “You’ve always loved her Matty, and you make her happy… She’s been in love with you again for months.”

You’re feeling all gooey inside watching this take place. And your cousin knows you so very well that you didn’t even have to tell him that you loved him again

Tears prick your boyfriend’s eyes then, and he holds no shame at all in letting a tear or two fall before he then leaps on your cousin shouting, “I love you Adam Hann!”

“I love you, I love you, I love you!” Matty yells at the top of his lungs before he grabs the sides of Adam’s face and he pulls him into a big sloppy kiss.

The kiss has you, George, and Ross cackling instantly and you’re so happy Ross manages to take a picture of it. It lasts a fair few seconds much to Adam’s disgust and the rest of your amusement. But it’s just fucking cute to see Matty so fucking happy and entirely relived, even if he does torture your closest family.

When Matty pulls away, and Adam tries his best not to laugh, Matty sits on his lap and continues shouting, “Thank you for your cousin! Thank you thanks for letting me fuck her and not getting too upset about it. Thank you for being a fucking legend, I love you, I love you, I love you.”

And your boyfriend pecks kisses all over his face too feeling so overwhelmed with joy. He’s adorable.

“God, I’m gunna kiss your Mum when I next see her too.” Matty chuckles, “Maybe even your Dad too.”

You laugh fully hearing that because he probably would. And your cousin looks even more disgusted by it all, which is even better.

“Please no,” Adam pleads, still trying to push Matty away, “I’m letting you kiss my cousin, not my Mum.”

“Thank you Hann,” Matty kisses his forehead again, “I love you so much.” before he traps him in a tight hug that has your heart melting.

“I love you too Matty.” Adam grins and he hugs your boyfriend right back.

As you’re watching this cute, sweet, heartfelt moment take place, you just sit back in George’s lap and enjoy the moment. You adore that your boyfriend loves your cousin just as much as you do, and you’ll always love their friendship.

However, as you’re admiring them, George whispers in your ear, “Does this mean our threesome can happen now?”

You almost choke on air. That truly was the last thing you expected George to say as you’re witnessing this wholesome practically family embrace happening in front of you.

Unable to stop yourself, you snort and shake your head in disapproval at him. But instead of giving him an answer, you just jokingly pat his cheek and say, “Give me another month with him, Babe.”

George chuckles at that, and he wraps his arms around your waist so he can hug you as he says, “In all seriousness, I’m really happy for you Baby.” and he leans down and kisses your shoulder.

“Thank you Georgie.” You pout and you kiss the top of his head because despite being a menace you do love him and he’s adorable. You want him to find his real soulmate now, and you even gently knock your head against his as you smile, “Just gotta find you your girl now.”

“Yeah,” George hums, but he sounds disheartened when he admits, “Can't see that happening any time soon.”

And you know he means with lockdown restrictions and everything happening in the world right now. And he’s not that big on doing anything online but you have faith he will find his girl when he least expects it.

You just smile and assure him, “She’ll come spinning in soon, I have no doubt.”

George grins and leans forward to kiss your cheek quickly. And you realise he’s done that right before Matty gently grabs your hand and drags you up from your seat.

Your boyfriend traps you in a tight hug as he says, “I love your brother.”

“I love him too.” You chuckle, and Matty very quickly kisses your lips before you head to Adam and he jumps on George and starts celebrating like it’s the first time he’s ever kissed you.

You wrap your arms around your cousin when you say, “I love you Ads.”

“Love you too.” He responds and you love the way he hugs you even tighter when he assures you, “I’m really really happy for you both.”

“Thank you for assuring him,” You whisper, looking over Adam’s shoulder to see your boyfriend now entirely at peace and horrendously happy. You tell your brother, “He was really really worried.”

“I could tell. But honestly B, as long as you’re happy, I’m happy.” Adam promises, pulling away from the hug to look into your eyes and remind you, “And he’s obsessed with you, it was only a matter of time before you two found each other again.”

“Don’t make me cry Bro.” You warn him because that nearly got you.

Adam just chuckles then and you chat about how Carly and their dog Stevie is for a few minutes. That is before something occurs to your cousin and he has to ask you about it.

“Have you told Alex by the way?” Adam asks you.

“Not yet, I'm going for a walk with him next week and I'm going to tell him then.” You explain, “I wanted to tell yous first so please don't say anything until I do.”

You feel like you owe your other best friend that much at the very least after everything you’ve been through.

“Don't worry, I won't.” Adam promises, “If you had I was just wondering how it went, but I’m sure it’ll be fine. He will just want you to be happy, same as me.”

“Hope so.” You smile.

You are a little worried about it, but after everything you’ve been through you know in your heart that everythings going to be fine when you tell him about you and Matty. You know your best friend just as well as you know your cousin, and you knew he would be fine so you can’t imagine Alex being funny about it.

Adam assures you though, “I know so.”

The rest of your first day at the studio is really fun, and you adore that you get to spend so much time with them over the next few months. After going from no one to having your family right back in front of you it makes you feel so thankful and grateful that you’ve all been okay.

Whilst no other artists are here that they want to record with, you really do want to make the most of your time alone with them. And that first night, you all ended up ordering a huge banquet for you all, and you had the best time laughing and eating and drinking the night away.

Arguably, the funniest part of the night was the moment Matty called you over, “Hey Wheels?”

“Curly.” You grin as you walk over to take his extended hand and he pulls you towards him so you can sit down on his lap.

You happily oblige, but not before pressing a kiss to his lips.

Your boyfriend is all smiley when you pull back, and he silently thanks his lucky stars that you’re his again before he asks what he called you over for, “Can I ask you a few words in French?”

“Course you can.” You nod, happy to help him with anything he’s curious about.

“Okay, how do you say ‘bag’?” Matty asks.

“That’s an easy one.” You hum, “Sac.”

George then chips in and asks, “And the number one is Un, right?”

“Yep,” You smile, encouraging him even though that is primary school knowledge, “Très bien.”

“What’s ten?” Matty asks, drawing your attention back to him.

“Dix.” You tell him, giving him the benefit of the doubt because he’s drunk, but he really should know that, drunk or not.

George asks you again, “And how do you say ‘happiness’?

“Bonheur.” You tell them with a little grin on your face because that’s the exact emotion you’re feeling.

You’ve just had a lovely meal with your family and you’re having the best time getting drunk with them. An evening filled with endless laughs and you’re too elated and blissfully unaware as to how you’re being set up.

“Say all them words in a sentence for me.” Matty asks, giving your waist a squeeze of encouragement, “I know it won’t make sense but please do it.”

Clearly, because you’ve had alcohol yourself, you don’t realise the trap that you’re about to walk straight into.

“Bag, one, ten, happiness?” You frown for a second, but Matty nodding in approval has you doing it without much thinking. You say them all together for him without giving it much thought, “Sac on dix bonheur.”

Matty and George burst out cackling at the same time then, and then you realise what you’ve said. The phrase loosely sounds like you’re saying, ‘Sat on this boner’ in English.

“You're such a dickhead Matthew.” You smack him over the back of his head playfully. You stand up, getting off his lap as you retake your seat between a chuckling Ross and Adam.

You look at the two best friends on the other side of the table and scorn them accordingly, “I did not learn an entirelanguage for you to do that to me.”

“Hey,” Matty holds up his hands in surrender but his amused grin never leaves his face. He looks like he could burst out laughing at any second as he says, “Just trying to be funny.”

“Stop trying to be funny in a foreign language,” You shake your head, “It doesn't work. Especially like that.”

“Was pretty funny to me.” George mumbles behind his hand but you hear him loud and clear.

“Fuck off George!” You shout at him before picking up your glass of wine and downing the last of it.

“Aw Babyyyyy, don’t be like that.” George pouts then, pretending to be all concerned with you until he cracks and says, “I just want you to bag one ten happiness, Baby.”

At that, Matty and Ross drunkenly snort the loudest you’ve possibly ever heard before they burst into a shriek of laughter. George joins in and it takes everything you have to not laugh along with them because even Adam cracked at that and he usually hates jokes about you like that.

“Ross,” You shake your head, “I expected better of you.”

“I’m only mere mortal, Y/N/N.” He laughs before he traps you in a side hug, “Besides, you wanna bag one George and Matty’s happiness too.”

The whole table erupts back up then, and you start laughing. It’s Matty and George’s drunken breathless cackles that have you laughing, and you just push Ross’ shoulder as you fake disapprove of his joke.

You love these boys so much, and despite them all being absolute menaces, it really is good to see the old gang all back together.

But Christ, this is going to be a long few months

~*~*~*~ 3 days later ~*~*~*~

“What you doin’?” Matty makes you jump as he pulls your AirPod out of your ear whilst you were listening to Favourite Worst Nightmare particularly loud.

You turn back to scorn him with a distasteful frown, and at the same time you quickly close your laptop. Acting innocent, you say, “Nothing.”

Matty chuckles at your shocked reaction, but the way you shut your laptop far too quickly has your boyfriend curious, “What were you looking at?”

“Nothing.” You maintain your ground.

“Wheels…” Matty smirks, “Shall I get George to hold you down whilst I tickle you, or do you wanna just tell me?”

Teasingly he leans down over you then, and you maintain eye contact with him trying to seem like you have some sort of ability to say no to him. But that only lasts a few seconds because your boyfriend just leans down and kisses you sweetly until you’re both giggling.

“I was looking at puppies, okay?” You give in and tell him.

The only reason you didn’t want to tell your boyfriend that is because you don’t want him to think that you’re sad for looking at cute dogs whilst he’s busy at work and you don’t feel like painting today. Sometimes looking at puppies is all the serotonin boost a person could need.

“Puppies?” Matty raises his eyebrows in slight surprise.

“Yeah,” You nod, “In the first few months of lockdown I was really debating getting one.”

Matty sits down on the settee beside you, and he excitedly says, “Show me.”

“Really?” You ask a little wide eyed.

“Yes, I love dogs,” Matty reminds you, before laughing, “Sweetheart, where have you been? That Coup De Main photoshoot with the puppies was the best one ever.”

You smile thinking back to those adorable pictures of your friends and you open your laptop back up to show him your favourites which takes at least 20 minutes. Matty finds it funny how you’ve gone as far as to bookmark the ones you absolutely adore, but he thinks his heart stops when you show him a black Cane Corso puppy.

“This little guy was borning back in April and no one has snatched him up yet.” You show your boyfriend all the pictures of this cute little guy getting bigger as the pictures go on. “I’ve watched him get older at this point.”

“Oh my god, look at him.” Matty coos loudly at a particular picture of the cute pup giving the camera those eyes that you just can’t say no too.

“He’s fucking adorable.” You quickly agree, and you’re about to change to close your laptop again when Matty stops you when he excitedly points at your screen.

“Wheels!” Your boyfriend gasps excitedly, and you see him point at the location the pup is at, “That’s like a forty minute drive away!”

“Yeah, I know.” You sigh, not thinking much of it and you wonder why he’s so excited.

And Matty turns to you and says, “Let’s fucking call them and get him.”

Your eyes go wide, “What?”

“Let’s go and get him.” Matty repeats, but this time he’s more excited, like a puppy himself who hasn’t been trained yet.

Just to be certain, you ask, “You wanna get a dog?”

“If you wanna get a dog with me, Wheels, I will get one with you?” Matty is grinning so hard, his cheeks start to hurt. But he is serious when he adds. “I don’t wanna pressure you, like if you don’t want to because I’ll be away on tour sometimes and you don’t want to be left with him. We don’t have to but if you wanna get a dog with me I wanna get one with you.”

“I don’t feel pressured,” You promise him, “I just didn’t think you’d wanna get a dog today... Besides, a dog would be nice company when you’re away anyway, that isn’t a hardship. A dog would be easier to deal with than you some days.”

“But you won’t have to deal with me not being here for a while yet,” Matty leans forward and kisses your lips a few times between him grinning like a child who wants a sweet. “So… We could call and see if he’s still available?”

You can’t even pretend like that’s not a great idea. Kissing him back quickly, you question, “Do you wanna call or shall I?”

~*~*~*~

You were the one that ended up calling the owner up and after a lengthy chat, you went to see the puppy. And he was fucking adorable.

The owner did their checks on you and Matty, seeing if they felt comfortable enough around the two of you, asked you about the quality of life you could give the dog with where you both lived and they seemed pleased with your answers and the way you interacted with the puppy. From yours and Matty’s point of view it all felt like the interview of sorts was going well and you were really pleased with their decision.

They decided that they were happy enough to sell you the cute little Cane Corso puppy and that’s how you’ve ended up with the little guy on your knee as Matty drives back to the live-in studio.

The little guy is currently asleep on the makeshift bed of blankets you brought with you and you’ve been stroking him non-stop to keep him settled. You can’t stop looking at him and you know Matty feels the same and as every chance he has he’s glancing at your new puppy.

Matty grins at you, “I can’t wait to get him toys and to play with him.” and he gives the pups head a little scratch whilst he doesn’t need to change gear.

Your boyfriend can’t stop looking at the way there’s a smile permanently fixed on your face. Even you cooing and awhing at the small dog, he can tell has you all gooey inside and him seeing the two of you together has Matty feeling the exact same.

“Oh, I have no doubt that you and this little guy getting into play flights will be pure mayhem,” You laugh, “Especially in the studio with George there to tease him as well.”

“Mayhem…” Matty hums, a smile growing on his lips. “That’s a cool name.”

“You wanna call him Mayhem?” You almost gasp, looking down at the poor dog who has been nothing but sweet and playful in your presence. You cuddle him closer, “But he’s so cute.”

“But did you see him with his Mum, he was so chaotic,” Matty chuckles thinking back to the owner's dog and the way the pup interacted with its Mum, bouncing about around her and probably annoying the older dog a little. It was cute, so Matty says again, “Mayhem would be such a fitting name. Or we could call him Chaos.”

You think about it for a second, and you really can’t imagine yourself shouting Chaos at the park when you take him out for a walk. So you agree to Matty’s first suggestion.

You quickly tell him, “I prefer Mayhem.”

“Mayhem it is, Sweetheart.” Matty confirms with a nod.

You laugh, finding deciding on a name in a car with Matty all too familiar. But you wouldn’t change it for the world.

After about 10 minutes, little Mayhem is awake again and he keeps trying to move out of your lap to sniff and lick Matty which he does to his arm a few times. You have again just had to pick the puppy up and place him back in your lap as he was trying to get to your boyfriend.

“No no no, you can play with your Dad when we get home. Cuddle me Mayhem.” You tell the puppy as you cuddle him into your chest again. But then he looks up at you with those adorable eyes and you start babying him, “Yeah, you’re Mayhem. That's your new name. And you’re so so cute.”

Matty can’t help but find this whole interaction rather adorable as you continue on, “I'm going to need you to stay this cute forever, or at the very least until your Dad goes back on tour and you can be my guard dog and my best friend. Deal?”

And like he can understand you, Mayhem licks your nose as if in agreement which makes you giggle, “Thank you Mayhem.”

Matty’s heart just melted watching what he could of that scene which just took place. He loves you so fucking much and he can’t wait for Mayhem to worm his way into his heart almost as deep as you go.

Thankfully for Matty, the traffic in front of him stops at a red light so he can reach over and scratch Mayhem’s head, but when you look at your boyfriend you see that he’s smiling at you with a lot of emotion in his eyes.

“What?” You ask gently as you smile back at him.

“I’m just happy Sweetheart.” Matty grins, and he genuinely means it with the whole of his being.

His chest feels full with the love he has for you and the visual of you holding the new addition to your little family. Matty doesn’t think he’s ever been as happy as he is right this second.

“I'm glad,” You smile at your boyfriend, and you lean down to kiss the top of Mayhem’s head as he licks Matty’s wrist and you say, “I have no doubt he’ll be a handful but we can handle it.”

“We can.” Matty nods, his smile getting bigger when he says, “This little guy is just practise for when we start a proper family, ey?

It takes everything you have to not let your eyes well up then. Instead you just look at the man you love with the whole of your heart and nod, “Yeah.”

For a few seconds, you both look at Mayhem, laughing a little when he goes to nip Matty’s hand because he’s getting a little too excited. But when Matty scratches the dog's head instead, you tell your boyfriend to make sure he’s aware, “I love you, you know.”

Your words make his heart swell, and his do the same to you when he sincerely tells you, “I love you more.”

You shake your head, “Impossible.” because with the way you feel about him, you don’t know how he could love you more.

But he really can. He’s loved you since he first saw you, and he will remind you every single day that he loves you more than he ever thought possible.

“Not for me.” Matty shakes his head and leans across to kiss you.

~*~*~*~ August 7th 2020 ~*~*~*~

Of course when you got back to the studio a few days ago, the guys absolutely loved Mayhem. The evening of work they had planned was thrown out of the window entirely.

Everyone loved the dog, you and Matty barely got a moment to yourselves with your new dog, but thankfully you got that when you went to bed and Mayhem came and cuddled you both. And the owner had already had him vaccinated too so you got your moments alone with your puppy when you went out on walks too.

He’s a good dog, completely adorable and as he’s a little older than most puppies usually are when they leave their Mum, he was trained a little too. There was still work to do but you have all the time in the world with him.

Matty kept calling him chonky which never failed to make you laugh. You were honestly so thrilled, and even today when you drove back to London with Mayhem so you could go on your walk with Alex in his local park, you’re excited for someone else to meet your new dog too.

Alex met you at the park, and immediately he crouched down to Mayhem’s level and let the dog sniff, lick, and even jump on him. Your best friend looks like he could spend all his time with your new dog and you both laugh when he jokingly told you to go back home and he would take Mayhem on the walk.

When he stands up, you hug your best friend so tight as the last time you got to hug him was back in March. It’s been a fucking long 5 months.

You and Alex walk and catch up with each other for a long while. And obviously it gets to a point where you have to tell him about your relationship status.

After just building your way up to getting it out, you just end up telling him simply, “Me and Matty are back together…”

You find that you’re almost bracing yourself for some sort of negative reaction from him, but instead your best friend keeps a straight face, and he looks at you and asks, “Are you happy?”

“Yeah,” You nod, “I really am.”

You have no doubt that this is the happiest you’ve ever been. You’re hopelessly in love with your boyfriend and all of your friends are fine and healthy in the midst of the pandemic you’re currently in.

The painting’s you’re doing are the best you’ve ever done. You’re the most inspired to create you ever have been, and you’re happy in your own body and in yourself.

“Good,” Alex smiles, and he playfully nudges your shoulder as he says, “I’m happy for you. For you both.”

And it’s like relief floods you. All you’ve ever wanted is for both of your best friends to get along, and you realise it was partly your fault that they never did, but after hearing Alex say he’s happy for both of you, it makes you think that they can actually be friends with each other now.

“Thank you, that’s all I want for you too.” You’re grinning like a fucking idiot with how joyous you currently feel. “I just want you to find someone and be really happy with them.”

“Thank you Angel.” Alex says, but then you watch as he looks down to the ground and tries to hide a huge smile coming to his face.

Immediately, you stop walking, much to Mayhem's distress, but you make your best friend look at you when you ask, “What was that grin?”

“Nothing.” He shakes his head, and he goes shy, so you know something is going on. Or more like someone.

“Alexander Turner, that was not nothing,” You’re grinning now, seeing him all embarrassed. You don’t let it go, you press on, “You had someone in mind… Who was it?”

“I’m sort of speaking to someone and it’s at the point where we never want to be off the phone to each other.” Alex admits and his cheeks get increasingly rosy as he gets more embarrassed.

Your jaw drops, absolutely thrilled for him and loving this information. More details are needed though, and you continue to pry as you both start walking again, letting Mayhem explore a little more.

“Who?” You excitedly ask, “Do I know them?”

“Believe it or not,” Alex chuckles, running a hand through his hair before he looks at you and explains, “You actually had a hand in setting us up.”

Your eyes immediately go wide, not recalling doing anything to set him up with anyone. You wonder if it’s another artist you’ve made him listen to before now and he’s met them because he said he liked their music. But you’re well off.

“Who?” You ask with wide eyes.

Alex is trying not to grin like a fool as he explains, “Do you remember who you met in Tennessee with Matty?”

“Ella!?” You almost scream her name in the park.

Alex is chuckling at your wide eyes and the way you ask excitedly, “You’re speaking to Ella?”

“Yeah, we’ve been talking non-stop since New Year.” Alex confirms, with pink cheeks and he’s a little embarrassed when he admits, “Literally not an hour goes by when we're not on the phone or texting each other.”

Instantly, you’re calling your best friend adorable and he tells you how they started talking again. For the entire story you’re cooing, making Alex more blushy but he tells you how much she means to him and how finally he wants to pursue her properly.

Whilst you think this new relationship is the cutest thing ever, you have to bully your best friend for a second when you remember a defining feature of Ella’s.

“Oh, you’re a horny fucker,” You look at your best friend with knowing eyes, “You just want that ‘Pure Desire’ tattoo wrapped around your throat.”

You couldn’t really forget that tattoo on the back of Ella’s hand if you tried. When you were dancing with each other on the side of the stage at The 1975’s show in Nashville, you grabbed that hand of hers many times to twirl her around and you’re sure you were accidentally longing for it around your own neck.

Alex laughs, and he nods, “I wanted that hand wrapped around my throat eight years ago.”

“Should have put a ring on her back then instead of that other American.” You tell him, thinking how him and Ella would have probably gone the distance if he had gone for her instead of Arielle.

“Yeah yeah I know, but we're going to make up for lost time.” Alex is smiling like a fool as he tells you, “I really like her and we get on as if we’ve still been chatting all these years.”

You’re beyond happy for your best friend. You can see that he’s entirely in love with her already, as his eyes sparkle when he talks about her, the exact same way his eyes used to be when he looked at you.

You’re so thankful he’s found the right person for him though. And you hope to every higher power that they work out.

“I’m a little bit jealous of you,” You admit, thinking back to meeting her and what you’ve seen on her social media since, “She’s gorgeous.”

“She is.” Alex nods, and he is entirely enamoured with Ella.

“Not going to lie Alex,” You’re not really that embarrassed when you reveal, “Her Instagram has me in a chokehold. No pun intended.”

And it really does. She’s hot as fuck. And she takes the most amazing pictures of both other people and herself. The photoshoots she’s done of herself and her friends had your eyes going wide and you definitely want her to take your picture.

When you get married you will definitely be asking her to do your boudoir pictures.

“Same.” Alex laughs as he admits.

But you admit just how far back you went, “No, like, I went back to 2014.”

“Stalker.” Alex laughs at you, as if he’s not done exactly the same.

“You’d understand if you’d seen that motorbike picture of her.” You tell him, because she looked sexy as fuck lay back across her motorbike, her figure on full display for everyone to see.

The woman isn’t a model, but she really fucking should be. She just posts content like that, looking all hot for free. She should get paid to do it. The woman is stunning.

“Yes,” Alex shyly nods, “Believe me, I know the one.”

“Ha. I bet you do.” You give him a knowing look, “Dirty boy.”

And as soon as he avoids eye contact you know for a fact that he has been a dirty boy to pictures of her.

Alex tells you about how Ella has been planning to move to the UK as Focus Creeps is taking a change in direction and if she moves to the uk with her boss she will essentially get to be second in charge. So it seems like it will be the both of both worlds, if she moves she will get a promotion and she gets to be with Alex.

The both of you stay and talk for a few hours, and it feels like the time flies by. Before you know it, you realise that to beat rush hour back to the studio you need to be heading off.

Of course, you offer Alex a lift home, but he declines saying he’s going to call Ella on his way back and it makes you coo over their relationship again.

Whilst you know you hugged him earlier, as you’ve been walking around, you notice that some people have been walking further apart, so you ask Alex, “Can we hug goodbye or is it still not allowed?”

“I won’t tell you if you don’t.” Alex grins and you don’t hesitate to throw your arms around him.

As you hug each other tightly, you tell him, “I love you Shakespeare, and I’m so beyond happy for you and Ella.”

“Love you too Angel, I’m happy for you too.” Alex pressed a kiss to your temple, “And once she’s over here we’ll do another walk with her, and go out or something.”

“Yes please, I'd love that.” You nod and you give each other another long squeeze before you let each other go.

You love your best friend so much and you’re so happy that he’s found his girl.

And you love that he loves your puppy too because as soon as he’s let go of you, he crouches down to pay your dog the attention he deserves.

After playing with him for a minute and getting him all excited, Alex chuckles as he pets him, “Nice to meet you Mayhem. I’ll see you again soon.”

You give your best friend one last hug, smiling, “Bye Shakespeare.”

“Bye Angel.” Alex smiles.

~*~*~*~ 7 April 2021 ~*~*~*~

Whilst you’ve been through two more lockdowns since you first got Mayhem, life has improved for you more than you ever thought it could. You and Matty are closer than ever, completely and utterly in love still and you have completely moved into his house with him.

You rent out a little art studio a little further into the city which you absolutely adore, and you have booked another gallery for the summer of 2022. You’ve been taking a lot of commissions recently and every customer seemed to adore them, and you’re really excited for more to eventually come through.

Mayhem is a lot bigger than he was, as he’s just about coming up to being a year old. He is still the most gorgeous and playful dog and you and Matty have him fully trained now and he’s definitely a Mummy’s boy, which is even funnier when you cuddle him instead of Matty and your boyfriend gets jealous.

On a very bright side, you finally have your curly haired brunette back.

During the lockdowns Matty ended up bleaching his hair when he still had a buzzcut, which was a nice change you will admit. You even liked it when he ended up putting a pastel pink dye over that as it made waiting for his hair to grow out a little more fun.

But thankfully, now you have your Curly back and he’s looking as gorgeous as ever. His long unruly curls are back and if you have any say in it, they will never be leaving again.

All of your friends are also doing amazing too. Y/B/F and Charlie are back in the flat as whilst Covid is still around, it’s a lot less dangerous thanks to the vaccines. They are happy and have set a date for their wedding for this coming August so you’ve been helping her plan everything and you’re really excited.

Alex and Ella are official and when she moved to the UK, Ella pretty much moved in with Alex straight away. It was so easy to tell how they effortlessly love each other and the more time they spent together the closer they became. She was staying in a flat for the first month she came over but she was with Alex every single day, so there was really no point in them delaying it.

They are the cutest pair and in October they will be having their 1 year anniversary together. You’ve never seen Alex happier and you’re beyond thankful he’s found his girl.

It’s sickening how much they adore each other, it really makes sense why no one can stand being around you and Matty for too long because you’ve been told that you and Matty are apparently worse. But you absolutely love the couple with all of your heart and you can see them having a very bright future together.

In some iconic news, which simultaneously wrecked your soul, George got himself a girlfriend. Who is the most iconic pop artist on the planet, Miss Charli XCX.

The pair started fucking each other during the time that No Rome, The 1975, and Charli were working on the song Spinning together. The thought of the pair being fuck buddies had you having a bisexual meltdown as that is a sandwhich you wish you could be in the middle of.

At first, you and Matty knew it was the convenience of another lockdown coming along where you were once again in and out of a live-in studio that brought George and Charli together. Boredom in a lockdown and having someone to fuck really worked well, especially for the new power couple.

After the single came out in March, the pair didn’t really have an excuse to keep on fucking, but it was clear to everyone that they really fancied each other. Just as clear as it was to Matty that you fancied both George and Charli a little too much, but they are pretty iconic so your boyfriend let that one slide a bit.

The couple became official just a week ago and you really see it going the distance. They are both into the same music, they both like creating new music to pass the time, they probably fuck each others lights out the best anyone ever has, so you weren’t at all surprised when George made things official.

As he should. He’s probably the luckiest bastard alive. You don’t know who you are more jealous of though, George or Charli.

And you’ve all made it through this pandemic which is a complete blessing. And the first people who come to see you after the lockdown finishes is your cousin and his girlfriend.

They got here a few hours ago and you almost thought that they came a day early before Matty’s birthday party. It’s your boyfriend’s birthday tomorrow and you’re having a small gathering for him, per his request, but it will just be a few people coming round to get drunk.

Today Adam brought his and Carly’s dog Stevie round with them so Mayhem could have a friend to play with. And watching the two gods has been quite amusing as all four of you ended up ordering a take out so you could eat together.

It’s been a really lovely afternoon with them, and you love Carly like she’s your sister so it is no hardship at all for you to get on with her the same way you do with Adam. And Matty has an easy time of keeping you all entertained so you’ve had a really nice day.

As you sit down with another brew for you and her, you ask, “Was lockdown okay for you both? Not get too bored?”

“No, it was okay thankfully,” Carly smiles, and asks, “What about you?”

“Can’t exactly get bored with Matty.” You nod your head towards him and laugh, “The hyper activity really kept us active and it’s always fun with a puppy.”

“I can’t believe how big he is now.” Carly says as the both of you look down to Mayhem who is lying down beside Stevie.

You hum, smiling, “Me neither.”

Mayhem is a big boy now. He’s not the tiny puppy you started out with, which is a little gutting but it’s not like you didn’t know it would happen. You just miss being able to cuddle him with him sat fully on your lap as now he’s far too big.

“Are you sure he’s a Cane Corso?” Adam chips into your conversation, all of you now looking at your dog, “He still looks like he could be a labrador.”

“Just you wait,” You joke, “He’ll be bigger than Matty this time next year.”

“And subsequently you, Wheels.” Your boyfriend teases you, which you do kind of deserve.

“I know,” You chuckle, “But I just want him to be my little baby for a bit longer. I love mothering him.”

“Mother who? Mayhem or Matty?” Carly jokes and it has everyone but Matty giggling.

All of you chat about everything and nothing. Matty telling your cousin about a few ideas he’s had for future music but nothing concrete just yet. But once Adam joins yours and Carly’s conversation, Matty gets thinking and he knows your cousin well, he never usually just comes round to chill out, and he looks like he has a little nervous energy about him, so your curly haired brunette decides to investigate.

Once the conversation finishes, Matty asks the couple, “What’s brought you two over anyway? Hann never just wants to pop round to see me.”

You find yourself laughing at that, still loving how their brotherly love is shown in the way of lightly bullying each other. You offer up a reason, “He might have wanted to see me.”

“Don't be silly Sweetheart,” Matty shakes his head, and then he leans his chin on Adam’s shoulder to ask him, “Do you have an early birthday present for me? Is it a kiss Hann, because I’ve not had one in a while.”

“No,” Your cousin shakes his head firmly, and he jokes, “You would only be so lucky.”

You and Matty watch then as the couple glance and smile at each other and you know something is about to be said before Adam even says, “We actually have some news.”

“Oh?” You smile and raise your eyebrows.

You glance at Matty and share a smile at him because you’ve both debated this time and time again and the both of you think you know what you’re about to be told.

“Has he finally proposed to you Carls?” Matty asks, wanting to get the scoop straight away. And he bullies your cousin a little more in the process, “I think you’ve been waiting long enough for now. I hope he’s done it.”

“Not yet,” Carly laughs, “You’re very cheeky Matty.”

Your boyfriend giggles at that and then throws his arm around Adam’s shoulder as he proudly says, “Bane of your fiance's life.”

“Not my fiance yet,” Carly giggles herself before she looks between you and Matty as she tells you, “We actually came to tell you that we’re having a baby.”

Both yours and Matty’s gasp at the same time, “What?”

“We’re having a baby.” Adam repeats, the couple now grinning at both of your reactions.

They have never seen either of you more shocked. But it’s no surprise to either of them when the both of you immediately get emotional about it.

“Oh my god,” Matty has tears in his eyes when he says, “Why didn’t you tell me to shut my gob?”

Adam just laughs at him, “We tried.”

“Not hard enough.” Matty pulls your cousin into the biggest hug he’s ever given him then and he doesn’t hold back his tears.

On the other settee, you’re the same with Carly. Happy tears are running down your face that you keep on wiping away so they don’t land on her shoulder.

You tell her how much you love her and how happy for her you are. It’s actually difficult to get everything you want to say out because if there’s anyone in the world that deserves a happy little family of their own it is Adam.

After a few minutes, you stand up to hug your cousin and you throw your arms around him, still crying yourself, and tell him, “I’m so happy for you Ads.”

“Thank you B.” Adam hugs you back just as tight.

He had been so excited to tell you. It really was a struggle for him to not come and tell you straight away but instead he had to hold off and tell both his and Carly’s parents first.

“You’re going to be the best Dad.” You tell him when you manage to stop yourself crying for a brief second, but you’re still clutching him tightly.

It makes Adam a little teary eyed hearing you say that, and he whispers a small, “Thank you.” into your ear.

When you eventually let your cousin go, you see that Matty has his arm around Carly, hugging her by his side and they were just standing watching you. Seeing their smiles just makes you cry more, but at the same time you laugh because it feels a bit pathetic even though you know it’s not.

They all laugh at you and you don’t know who, but you can only assume it’s Matty that makes the other two give you a group hug. All you know is that the next second, your face is in Matty’s chest and Carly and Adam are on either side of you hugging you, all of you laughing.

“We also needed to see if Auntie Y/N/N and Uncle Matty would be around to be cool babysitters for us?” Carly says, which is the best thing you’ve possibly ever heard, but you’re too emotional right now.

“Stop, I'll cry more!” You squeal as you wipe your tears on Matty’s top and you bite your tongue to not cry more when he kisses the top of your head.

“Course we will,” Matty promises, and then he kisses Adam’s cheek, “Hann,” and Carly’s head, “Carls,” and when they look at him, you can hear the emotion in his voice when he says, “We’re so happy for the both of you.”

And later you will remind yourself to give your boyfriend a thank you kiss for getting the words out for you.

After you think you’ve got through the initial emotional reaction to it, and you think the waterworks have stopped for the day. And for a while, you’re right.

You find out that Carly is 12 weeks and they have already told their parents, and they are about to go and tell the other two boys tonight. And they asked Matty if it would be okay to tell the others who were coming round tomorrow and of course he said that it was fine.

Before you know it, it’s time for them to go and tell George and Ross before it gets too late, so the couple head out. But not before they make you emotional again after you’ve hugged Adam goodbye you then watch you boyfriend hug Carly, and you hear her say, “Happy early birthday present, Uncle Matty.”

“Stop it,” Matty says, getting teary eyed again which subsequently has you then same. Matty tells her, “I'm actually going to sob and I will for days.”

You all chuckle at that, and you wipe away another fallen tear from your cheek as you listen to your cousin’s girlfriend.

“Well that's why we came to tell you today. I don’t want you crying on your birthday,” Carly chuckles, “Not to mention we had to come and tell you before you asked me why I wouldn’t drink with you tomorrow.”

“Very clever.” Matty pulls her into another hug, and he kisses her temple.

Once he has let go of Carly, you walk out to the small courtyard at the front of the house with Carly and you help her get Stevie on her lead before you say your goodbye to her there. And whilst you’re there you have no idea that the boys are watching you from the front door after they hug each other.

Matty just told your cousin, “Baby Hann is going to be spoiled rotten and you can’t tell me off for it.”

And when Adam laughs, nodding approvingly, Matty then watches the way your cousin looks at Carly. His whole face lights up seeing her, and the love he has for her is clear to see.

“Adam,” Matty gets his attention back, and your boyfriend pleads with everything he has, “Put a ring on that woman, for christ sake.”

Because he can see just how much Carly means to him. And the pair have chatted before, Matty knows he wants to marry her, so it’s really beyond him why he would wait to get engaged to her even now when they are having a baby together. He just wants your cousin, his best friend, to have the happiest of endings because he deserves every ounce of happiness.

Your cousin just smirks and fires back ,“I could say the exact same to you.” which shocks Matty entirely.

He really wasn’t expecting that. So after a brief second to process what that means, Matty asks, “You’d let me?”

“Course I would.” Adam nods, looking your boyfriend in his eyes when he says, “If you’re waiting for a blessing Matty, you got that a long time ago. You love her more than anyone ever has.”

Glancing back at you and Carly hugging each other has Adam smiling. You and Matty certainly deserve to be as happy as he is feeling right now. So he looks back at your boyfriend and tells him, “You better ask her before she asks you at this point.”

Matty wants to chuckle at that, because it really would be a move that you would pull. But he’s still a little shocked Adam just told him that he would let you marry him, so your boyfriend just ends up nodding, “I’ll get on that.”

And it’s not like he didn’t already have plans to, he just hadn’t worked up the courage to actually ask Adam for his blessing yet.

“You better had.” Adam tells him, before giving him an ultimatum, “Before the year is up or I revoke the blessing.”

Matty frowns a little, “You can’t revoke it when you’ve just given it me.”

Adam just laughs then and Matty all but launches himself into your cousin's arms again. Your curly haired brunette’s voice is full of adoration when he says, “I love you Hann.”

“I love you too, Matty.” Adam smiles, before kissing his best friend's head.

~*~*~*~ 23rd June 2021 ~*~*~*~

You’re currently back over in Sheffield staying with your best friend and Charlie for a few days with Matty and Mayhem, per Y/B/F’s request. She’s throwing you a small party of sorts for your 35th birthday in a couple of days and you were having a really nice time just catching up with her in your old home.

The both of you have been early risers for a very long time and with Charlie on a 3pm till 3am last night, he was still asleep in bed, and considering Matty never sleeps well, you’ve let him sleep in too. After all, who really wants to be up on a Wednesday morning at 8am if they don’t have to be?

You and your best friend have just had breakfast together and now you’re sitting on the settee beside each other after having just taken Mayhem outside for a quick walk around the block. You just assume that your dog will himself down underneath the window on the floor like he usually does when you’re back home, and he will more than likely fall asleep again soon, but this time you’re wrong.

Instead, Mayhem gets himself up on the settee between you and he spins himself round twice before he lies down, curling himself up into a tight little ball whilst you and Y/B/F smile and stroke him. Your not so little puppy lifts his head after a moment though and he rests it down on your stomach as you are leaning back into your seat.

You smile at that and scratch the top of Mayhem’s head how you know he likes, and you continue doing so until your best friend startles you by saying, “That’s usually a sign that you’re pregnant when dogs do that, you know?”

Of course you’ve heard that myth before, but you’ve never had your own dog to pay attention to like that. You just shake the comment off and say, “Don’t say that.”

“It’s true.” Y/B/F tells you with a ghost of a smile on her lips. She does like teasing you, she misses doing it in person.

“He’s just my affectionate little man.” You tell her, and continue to pet Mayhem. And you defend his actions, “He’s done this before.”

“They bark and become more protective over you too,” Y/B/F tells you more of the folklore, and she raises her eyebrows at you as she points out, “And you said yesterday when we took him on our walk that it was strange of him to be growling and barking as much as he was doing when a few people were walking past us whilst we were sat down.”

A few beats of silence pass the both of you by before your best friend delivers her closing argument, “He could be trying to tell you something.”

“For fucks sake.” You sigh after a minute of glaring at her and getting all pouty about it, “I’m not going to rest now until I take a test.”

You and Matty weren’t exactly being careful, but you’re on the pill. But you’re also very aware that sometimes people can get pregnant whilst being on the pill so you know that for peace of mind you’re just going to have to take a test. You really wish she hadn’t brought it up.

“Oh relax, you and Matty could handle it.” Y/B/F tells you, “I already know you’d be great parents and I’m sure Mayhem would agree.”

You smile at the way she pats Mayhem then and the way he huffs in reaction to her. And thinking about it logically, you know that you and Matty would be fine if you did have a baby, but there are a few things you ideally would have liked to do before that happened. However, at the same time, it really wouldn’t be the end of the world.

“Come on,” Y/B/F brings you out of your thoughts and she gets up and offers you her hand to help you up. She tells you, “I have pregnancy tests in the bathroom. I’ll do one with you like I used to make you do with me so you don’t get stressed out.”

You chuckle, loving how she could always make something serious easier to deal with. You nod and take her hand, “Okay.”

So that is how you and Y/B/F are currently in the bathroom, Y/B/F now sitting on the toilet seat lid, you standing up by the sink, waiting eagerly for the results of the two pregnancy tests that are resting on the side of the bath and for the two minutes to be up.

You just nipped back out to the lounge to grab your tea because the nerves that you get everytime this happens makes your mouth dry. But that is your undoing.

You weren’t panicked about it at all, it just seems like your body's reaction when you do take one. After all this was only a conspiracy about dogs knowing if someone is pregnant or not and you’re debunking it.

But you’re an idiot who didn’t shut the door properly when you came back into the bathroom. Because Mayhem has just snuck his way in and his excited tail wagging back and forth has just knocked both of the pregnancy tests into the empty bath, muddling them up so you don’t know who’s is who’s… And one of them is positive.

Both you and Y/B/F swear at the same time, before forming a very quick and calculated plan, neither of you panicking about it though. You just need to know which one of you is pregnant sooner rather than later.

You quietly put Mayhem back into the bedroom with Matty before both you and Y/B/F head out to the closest supermarket to get decent tests. Both of you buy a box of the Clear Blue tests so you can be certain and make sure whoevers positive is actually positive, and when you come back the both of you do your tests again but keep them on either side of the sink.

As you wait, you hold each other's hand and Y/B/F jokes, “Remember when we always used to say that the both of us would end up being together when we found out one of us was pregnant?”

“Yeah,” You nod, thinking back to all the times you’d forced each other into doing one and they had thankfully all came out negative when you were younger.

“Least we’re actual adults and capable now.” Y/B/F chuckles and you giggle in agreement.

It feels like the longest few minutes of your lives, and when you check the timer on your phone you still have another minute left. It feels like an age passes and when the alarm goes off it almost makes you jump.

You and your best friend keep your eyes on each other for a moment, and you squeeze each other's hand when she asks, “Ready?”

“Ready.” You nod, knowing whatever the outcome, you’re both going to be fine. You tell her quickly, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Y/B/F smiles back and after giving each other a nod of encouragement, the both of you check your tests.

When you look down at your test, you find yourself surprised when you see it only has one line… Negative.

It shocks you as the lore about the dogs knowing had really gotten into your head, but then Y/B/F squeezes your hand and you look at hers… Pregnant 3+

“Are you okay?” You immediately ask her.

She looks at you then, nodding a little, but her eyes flick back to the test clearly a little in disbelief, “Yeah, just a bit shocked.”

And of course she was going to be. You bet she never for a second thought she would randomly be doing a pregnancy test today, let alone for it to come back positive.

You sit her back down on the closed toilet seat so she can process it as best she can as you crouch down in front of her and hold her hand. After a few seconds, she asks you to pass her her phone that she put on the sink too and you grab it instantly and give it to her.

After about 20 seconds of scrolling and tapping, your best friend lets out a little sigh and she looks a little jaw dropped. You’re about to ask her what’s going on until she starts speaking.

“I’ve just checked my tracker, and I didn’t come on last month.” She tells you and she runs a hand through her hair as she looks you in the eyes and scorns herself, “Oh my god, I’m such an idiot for making you worry. I’m so sorry.”

“I wasn’t worried, don’t apologise.” You dismiss her apologies as you would have been fine if it was you, it was something you could handle and you have no doubt if she wants this baby, she will be able to handle it too.

You ask her softly when she locks her phone, “Are you happy? You look shocked, rightly so.”

“Yeah, I’m happy.” She tells you after a brief second of silence. And her eyes get all sparkly when she half grins, “I’m going to be a Mum.”

“You’re going to be the best Mum in the whole world.” You nod, your eyes doing the same as you can see just how much this means to her now she’s processing the news.

Y/B/F is crying when she pulls you into a hug, and she says into your ear, “I love you.”

“I love you so much more.” You promise her.

You’re both crying for a minute, but in this scenario that isn’t a shock. This was a massive surprise, and you’re still a little in disbelief it’s not yourself this has happened to.

Y/B/F releases you briefly from the hug to pull back and ask you seriously, “In the unlikely event that this ever happens to either of us and our boyfriends actually don’t want the baby, can we promise to run away with each other and raise them ourselves?”

You want to sob for her that she would ever think that Charlie wouldn’t want their little baby, because you know for a fact that he will be over the moon when he finds out soon. But you understand that she wants reassurance, and you don’t hesitate to give it to her.

You nod, “You have my word.” and you offer her a pinky swear which she returns instantly.

“Thank you.” Y/B/F sniffles, and she wipes her tears as she says, “I know Charlie is going to be thrilled, but I just needed to hear that.”

“Of course.” You chuckle before telling her that you love her again and she does the same to you.

It’s a fun little cycle that eventually calms the both of you down, and stops you both crying. But that isn’t to say that your emotions can’t be seen on your now puffy features when you leave the bathroom, and it seems like you’re really obvious.

When you unlock the bathroom door and the both of you emerge from it, you give your best friend another hug outside the door and wish her luck as she’s about to go and wake Charlie up to tell him. But before you even let each other go, the door to the other side of you opens and Mayhem quickly trots out, paying neither of you attention, but your boyfriend clearly does.

Seeing the both of you standing there and hugging each other makes him a little worried, especially when he sees that your eyes are a little swollen. He looks at you first and asks, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah everythings good.” You promise him and nod as you let go of your best friend.

Matty looks at her then though and asks, “Y/B/F?”

“Yeah I’m really good. I’m gunna quickly…” She trails off and points to hers and Charlie’s room and you nod understanding.

She smiles at you again and with one last squeeze on each of your arms, she disappears into her bedroom, and you’re left with Matty.

“Are you okay?” Your boyfriend asks again as you immediately make the short way towards him and you from your arms around him, trapping him in a big hug.

“Yeah,” You nod, hiding yourself in his neck. You make sure he can hear you when you ask a little rhetorically, “I love you, you know?”

Your curly haired brunette nods and promises, “I love you too.”

He has to ask again though, “Is Y/B/F okay?”

“Yeah,” You’re smiling like a fool as you pull back from the hug and tell him, “She’s just found out she’s making us be an Aunt and Uncle again, so she’s a tad emotional.”

And your cute way of telling Matty that your best friend is pregnant immediately has his eyes watering, just like they did when Adam told you both the news.

Matty very quickly kisses your lips, before he hugs you tightly and suggests, “I think we keep getting the best early birthday presents, don't you?”

“The very best.” You hum in agreement.

~*~*~*~

After waking Charlie up and telling him, the pair were obviously really emotional as expected. Whilst he was of course happy, his nurse mode turned on almost immediately and for peace of mind because they didn’t know, Charlie called one of his friends who was at work today and asked if there was any chance they could squeeze Y/B/F in for a quick scan.

She’d been drinking over the last few months as she clearly didn’t know she was pregnant, and of course they wanted the peace of mind that everything was fine. Thankfully Charlie’s friend managed to get them in and whilst they have gone for their appointment, you and Matty have gone out on a walk with Mayhem.

Your curly haired brunette used to love it when you’d take him on walks around Sheffield when you were first together, and he still adores it now. Matty finds that it's your anecdotes that he loves and he adores the way your face lights up as you tell them.

He knows he’s been to this park you’re both currently in before, as you’d shown him the old tennis courts that you and your school mates always used to hang about on, but you seem to have a destination in mind about where you’re taking him and Mayhem now, but Matty can’t guess where.

“Where are we going?” Matty asks as you start to veer off the path in front of you.

Smiling, you squeeze his arm that you’ve linked and tell him, “I know a place.”

“Do you now?” Matty smiles, and seeing that there’s a small sparkle in your eye has you excited, it makes him feel the same.

“Yep,” You grin, “It’s one of my favourite places on the planet.”

Matty’s eyes go a little wide then, asking, “Really?”

Humming and nodding, you confirm, “You should feel very privileged that I'm bringing you here. You’ll be one of three people who knows about it besides me.”

Matty smiles at that, and he doesn’t have to guess to know that you mean Y/B/F and Alex. He smiles at the thought of you finally being ready to show him whatever place it is too.

Matty hums, “It must be special.”

“It is.” You nod, and you tell him honestly. “I came here the most when you were in rehab… Needed somewhere to go to remember your face.”

Because you came every day, if not every other when Matty was in rehab. You needed the comfort your spot gave you and you it really helped when he was away. You’re glad that you’ve made the decision to finally show him your secret place.

You love and appreciate the way your curly haired brunette kisses your temple then as you walk him towards the trees. It doesn’t take you long to find your cherry blossom tree, and Mayhem finds it before you even get to open the curtain of pink petals for him.

You do move them aside for Matty though and you watch his reaction eagerly. You forgot the magic of showing this place to someone new.

The way your boyfriend’s eyes light up when he steps into your pink cocoon that shields you from the rest of the world makes you really happy. His smile also makes your chest ache as he looks astounded at the place, and it gets even bigger when he looks out to see the view you get too.

“Wow.” Matty gasps as he looks back around at the tree, “It’s stunning.”

You’re just grinning at him, taking him in your space and loving his reaction. But you adore the man even more when his eyes go a little wide as the pieces come together, “So this is why you went for a cherry blossom branch when you got your tattoo?” and when you nod, he grins, “It makes so much sense now.”

“Yep.” You verbally confirm, “Makes me feel at home. The tattoos remind me of home.”

Matty grins and he grabs your hand and pulls you towards him, and he looks into your eyes as he holds your waist and tells you, “I feel like I’ve just found the final piece of your puzzle, Wheels.”

You absolutely love that he has put it like that, as in really it is. This hiding spot of yours is the only thing Matty doesn’t know about you, and now you’re an entirely open book to him. It feels exactly how he put it, you’re a completed puzzle now.

As you have a hold of your boyfriend's hand, you pull him around and onto your bench so you can sit and admire the view. And as you’re tying the end of Mayhem’s lead to the bench, Matty asks, “How often did you usually come here?”

“I usually ended up coming most when I was sad, but also on good days too.” You tell him honestly, “But I only come when the tree blossoms, it’s a bit bleak if not.”

“It’s so stunning.” Matty says, turning back around to look at the pink bubble the both of you are in. Your dog takes both of your attention though because he comes and sits by both yours and Matty’s feet and gives you his puppy dog eyes. Your boyfriend plays with him a second as he asks him, “Isn’t it Mayhem? Your Mum’s hiding place is so pretty, just like her. She shouldn’t be upset when she comes here.”

You smile at his playfulness, but you assure him, “I love to come here when I’m happy too, it just brightens my day even more and this is definitely a day for it.”

“It certainly is.” Matty agrees.

Because coming to your spot to reflect on the fact that your best friend is going to have a baby is definitely a good day for it. Especially after the chaotic morning you had, which made Matty laugh earlier when you explained everything to him.

The both of you talk about how it was certainly a chaotic way to find out, and how you both hope everything is okay with their baby. And you laugh over how it was funny that Mayhem got it wrong and how he must have just been more protective over Y/B/F yesterday which led to him barking a little more.

When the conversation leads into a comfortable silence, Matty’s thoughts of this gorgeous spot get away with him, and he asks, “Have you ever kissed someone here?”

You chuckle at that, and all you do is glance at him and warn him, “Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answers to.”

That is all the answer Matty needs, and he finds it amusing so he jokes, “Christ, Alex was a lucky boy.”

You chuckle at him clearly knowing who it was, but you do make sure he knows something for certain, “He wasn’t lucky like you’re thinking. My spot is not R rated.”

“Not yet.” Matty smirks, desperately trying to hold back his laugh.

You just hum, “Dirty boy.” before you playfully push his arm from the back of the bench.

Your boyfriend laughs, before he shuffles closer to you and throws his arm over your shoulder to hug you into him more. You hum, entirely content with your surroundings and who you’re with. You’re so happy you showed Matty this place.

“Wanna be the last person I kiss here?” You ask him after a silent moment, “Because I won’t be bringing anyone new or kissing anyone else here.”

Matty is grinning at you, so you know his answer before he even says, “I would quite like that.”

“Course you would.” You giggle before you attach your lips to his.

You kiss him like you’ve wanted to kiss him all morning. Entirely too overwhelmed with your emotions and you pour all your love for him into it.

It baffles you how Matty’s kisses still give you butterflies all these years later, but he really does. You’re absolutely enamoured by him and what makes it all the more sweeter is that you know he feels the exact same about you.

When you get all soppy like this, you just want to carry on kissing him for hours on end to try and show him just how much he means to you. And you’re certain that by now Matty understands this form of communication with you, if it’s not his preferred one himself.

Both of you get a little too into it, because that really is what the two of you are like. Neither of you know when to stop, but you eventually do when Mayhem starts getting a bit jealous of the attention you’re giving each other and he tries to jump up at both of you.

“You sure you don’t wanna make it R rated?” Matty giggles after you teasingly bite his lip when you pull away.

You hum and pretend to think about it for a second, but you shake your head, “Not today... Maybe when we leave him at home.”

Matty chuckles before the both of you look down at your dog, and your curly haired brunette jokes to your dog, “You ruining moments like this is why you get left in the lounge when we go to the bedroom, Mayhem. You’re a massive cockblock.” and that has you cackling loudly.

The both of you end up settling down and you peacefully watch the world go by. A peaceful hour goes by before your phone buzzes and you hear from your best friend with the best news.

Wifey: Everything’s fine. Baby’s fine. I’m fine. I’m 10 weeks xx

Wifey: Please bring ice cream back on the way home from the park please x love you xxx

You obviously grin at your phone like an idiot and you text her back congratulating her again and you tell her you love her too. You’re so beyond thrilled for her, you can’t wait to give her another massive hug when you get back to the flat.

You and Matty gather all your belongings and when you untie Mayhem’s lead, you ask your boyfriend, “You ready to go?”

“Yeah.” Matty nods, and before you stand up he leans in to quickly kiss you sweetly. And he makes your heart flutter again when he sincerely says, “Thank you for bringing me here, Sweetheart.”

You’re grinning like a fool in love, “Anytime Curly.”

~*~*~*~ December 10th 2021 ~*~*~*~

“Hey,” You walk into your home and are greeted by the sight of Matty sitting in the lounge with Mayhem now getting out of his bed to come and greet you.

“Hey Wheels,” Matty grins and comes over to give you a hug and a kiss after you finish saying hello to your dog. “You had a nice day?”

“I have, thank you,” You smile, kissing him one more time before throwing your arms around his neck and asking him curiously, “You’re not busy this evening, are you?”

“No?” Your boyfriend answers but you can see the curiosity in his eyes. He tells you, “I was just going to start making our tea, but nothing else.”

“Good, and you don’t need to make tea,” You grin, the plan that you made on your way home seems like it could fall perfectly into place. “I’ve decided we’re going on a date night.”

Matty’s whole face lights up, “Are we now?” and he holds your waist a little tighter as the both of you start swaying a little bit in each other's hold.

“Yeah,” You nod, and you tell him your plan, “I’ve phoned your Mum and she said she’ll look after Mayhem for us whilst we're out, so he’s not on his own all evening. She’s going to have him overnight.”

“Oh nice,” Matty grins, as not having the little cockblocker around when the both of you get back would be nice. It gives the both of you a little more freedom, but your curly haired brunette is mostly just excited to get to spend his evening by your side. He’s missed you with you being at the studio for most of the afternoon.

He can’t help but ask curiously, “Where are we going?”

“I’m going to quite literally make one of your dreams come true.” You’re grinning like a lunatic at him, your cheeks hurt because your smile is so big.

Matty raises his eyebrows, “Oh?” trying to think of what it could be.

You tell him, “We’re going to Winter Wonderland.”

“Oh my god, yes.” Matty’s jaw drops in glee.

“I know it’ll be shit, but it’ll be good night.” You tell him why you thought of it, “I saw a poster on the way home and I thought it would be really cute.”

“It’s going to be the best Wheels because it's us.” Matty assures you, and you believe him because you can feel him start buzzing with excitement in your arms. He grabs your hand and pulls you towards the stairs, “Let's go get ready.”

Denise came about 30 minutes after you told Matty about your plans for your date night and she was happy to look after Mayhem for the both of you. As soon as Denise took him back to hers, you and Matty were also getting in the car to drive yourselves to Hyde Park.

When you get there, instantly you both can’t get the smiles off your faces. The both of you end up going ice skating first of all, and you’re glad the both of you went a fair amount when you were younger because you weren’t really at risk of falling over.

Skateboarding over the years had given the both of you good balance too, so you both thankfully didn’t deck it on the frozen ground. After an hour of the both of you clinging to each other on the ice, the both of you decide to walk round the large fair.

Obviously, the both of you go on the rides that skater the park, the ones that allow adults on anyways. The both of you end up on the Waltzers and other shit fairground rides but the both of you couldn’t get enough of giggling with each other at it.

You pulled each other to random stalls that sold all different kinds of food and the both of you had a feast as you then went and wondered about the Christmas markets. You got Mayhem a few bits from a pet stall, you got all three of you a personalised wooden decoration for your tree to put on when you get back home.

You also ended up getting a few more presents for your friends whilst you were here too. All of these gifts had to be put in a locker when both you and Matty ended up going into a haunted house. It was like a ghost train that was shit but hidden inside was someone dressed up as a skeleton and they jumped out and scared Matty to the point where he hid into you.

It almost made you piss yourself laughing and you couldn’t take the rest of the ride seriously. And that was due to the fact Matty was hiding himself into you trying to calm his heart rate down after that jumpscare.

Thankfully, there were no more scary points in the night. The next thing you ended up doing was going into the fun house which was just next door and you and Matty were grinning like idiots when he whisper sang You’re The One That I Want into your ear.

It brought you right back to being 21 again and experiencing a fun house with him for the first time. You were still just as flirty with each other and it feels even more wholesome than it did back then as you’re entirely in love with each other now, and Matty didn’t fail to remind you as you made your way around.

Both of you made it through the revolving barrel without falling over either and you definitely made your younger selves proud. You got so many cute pictures with each other over the course of the evening, you already couldn’t wait to eventually get them printed out and put up in your home.

But thankfully you were able to get some straight away this evening.

The both of you had just come out of Bar Ice which was really cool because you were served your drinks in cups made from pure ice. The both of you had two drinks in there and you’ve just come back outside to start exploring again and Matty finds something instantly.

The way Matty drags you over to the photobooth that he spotted is probably the fastest he’s ever moved which has you giggling. Not to mention the way he can’t seem to get his card out fast enough to pay for the photos, which has you silently laughing as it's such a stark contrast to the first time you pulled him into one of these.

The first picture taken is the both of you giggling at the camera. The second, Matty cups your jaw as he presses a kiss to your cheek. The third you’re holding his face as you plant a big kiss on his cheek. And for the forth, the both of you are kissing each other and the kiss lasts so much longer than it takes for the picture to be printed.

Because you’re entirely obsessed with each other, you end up getting another 3 strips of pictures as there was thankfully no queue. They are wholesome and sweet and it’s just candids of the two of you interacting and being silly with each other. Some you pose for, others you miss because you’re laughing at what the other just did.

The both of you almost don’t want to leave the booth, but you do to collect your pictures. And after you admire them, there’s only one thing left to do.

You were well aware of the 70 metre high ferris wheel being the main attraction of Winter Wonderland, and you could see the fear in Matty’s eyes as soon as he saw it up close when you were paying your entrance fees. It was always silently agreed that this would be the last event of the evening, and now with nothing left to do, both you and your boyfriend join the back of the queue for the giant wheel.

You can feel Matty’s nerves already and as he looks up at the 70 metre monster, he shakily says, “That’s the biggest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Are we going on it?” You ask as you try to mute your amused smile, “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

And you truly mean it. You won’t make him go on it if he really doesn't want to because it looks horrendously high to you, and you don’t have a fear of heights.

Matty glances at you, and then back to the top of the wheel that is all light up. He takes a deep breath looking at the highest point of it, but he just looks back into your eyes and asks wholesomely, “Will you hold my hand?

Smiling, you promise him, “Of course I will.” and you offer him your hand now.

“I guess I’ve got no excuse then.” Matty makes his decision as he takes your hand and immediately intertwines your fingers together.

Immediately you lift your hands up and kiss the back of his. And when your curly haired brunette looks at you, you tell him, “I’ll keep you safe.”

“Thank you, Wheels.” Matty smiles before he leans towards you to kiss you quickly.

It’s an anxious 20 minute wait in the queue before the both of you get into your own little cabin and the wheel starts moving. It’s a slow incline as everyone is getting on and off so it frequently stops to give you more time on and more of the stunning views.

Matty’s hand is firmly gripping yours, your fingers intertwined and he’s not letting you go at all, which you don’t mind about. You still find him utterly adorable that he will face one of his biggest fears to see you happy.

You can’t help but joke about it, “You must be so down bad for me if you have one of these tattooed on you, but they scare you as much as they clearly do.”

Matty chuckles a little at that, trying to rid his anxiety and just focus on you instead of the ground getting further and further away from you both. Matty’s brown eyes are looking into your gorgeous ones when he confirms, “I’ve always been down bad for you, that’s never going to change.”

You cheeks get hotter hearing that like he’s just told you he fancies you for the first ever time. And you can’t help but find it funny how he makes your heart beat rapidly in your chest when he’s doing nothing but be his gorgeous self.

The feeling of Matty’s gaze on you as you take in the views around you makes you warm inside. And once you’re near the top of the wheel, you give his hand another reassuring squeeze and you kiss him to keep him distracted.

You’ve just had a silent minute, other than you pointing views out to him that you don’t know if he’ll actually look at because you’re so high off the ground. He surprises you though by getting up from his seat just before the both of you reach the top.

He stands you up with him and he makes you take a selfie of the both of you at the top with the incredible view of the city lights below you. And you tease him by calling him your brave boy for somehow managing to not look petrified in the picture.

Your boyfriend shuts you up with a kiss though, which you happily let him do and after you put your phone back in your pocket, you give him your full attention. The sweet kiss only breaks when Matty speaks up.

“Do you remember me telling you that the first place I knew I was in love with you was when we were on that ferris wheel?” Your curly haired brunette asks softly.

You nod, remembering that night in lockdown vividly. That knowledge made you love your ferris wheel tattoo that the both of you have on your ankles even more than you already did.

“I expected that over a decade later I would still love you, but I didn’t know I would love you so much more at the top of this one, Wheels.” Matty professes his love for you again and it makes your heart swell with all the love you have for him.

But then the man you love drops to one knee in front of you, surprising you entirely.

Your curly haired brunette is grinning up at you when he asks, “Wheels, Sweetheart, please marry me?” and he pulls an engagement ring in a box out of his pocket and offers it to you.

“Yes,” You find yourself half giggling in surprise as you answer him. You nod, “Of course I’ll marry you.”

And Matty jumps back up so his lips can find yours again before you can fully process the moment. But you pour your heart out into it regardless.

You hope to every God that Matty can tell just how much you love him by pouring your feelings into this kiss. Words never seem like enough but kissing him in this moment feels like you’re connected on an entirely different level.

The way your chest aches for him, the way your heart beats for him, every ounce of love you have for him you hope he can feel. Because you can feel just how much he loves you, and his excitement because he picks you up and spins the both of you around which has you giggling again.

Matty puts you down after a few seconds, and the first thing he does is get the ring out of the box and put it on your left ring finger. It’s a stunning ring, and it's what you always imagined him giving to you one day. He got it spot on and from the look on his face, he knows he has.

You look back up at your fiance and you let out something of a giggle as your eyes tear up a little. Matty’s are the same, the both of you so unbelievably happy in this moment that you don’t have the words to explain it.

“I want to marry you as soon as possible, okay?” Matty chuckles, his voice a little choked up as he reminds you, “I’ve been waiting long enough, I can’t wait any longer.”

You giggle and nod, agreeing with him entirely. And your fingers root up into his curls as you look into his eyes and make sure he knows, “I love you so much, Curly.”

“I love you so so so much more, Wheels.” Matty grins before he cups your cheeks and leans back down to kiss you sweetly.

He always has and he always will, because from the very first moment he ever saw you, he’s been in love with you. Everything feels better when the two of you are together.

You’re his Sweetheart, his Wheels, and he will be your Curly until the very end.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Thank you so so much to everyone who has stuck with me as I’ve been writing this fic. It really means a lot and I really hope you enjoyed the story and Wheels and Matty’s ending! Their story doesn’t really stop here… I mentioned a surprise that you’d all shout at me about and the surprise is that a small part of Matty and Wheels ending has been posted on my main account since before I ever posted the first part of NRIACC (told you you’d shout at me lol)… That little oneshot Good Boy is a little extra part of their ending that I hope you can read/reread now and enjoy a little more.

Anyway, just want to again say a huge thank you for sticking with my mental story and I really really hope you enjoyed the ending x

Note: Alex and Ella’s story in a different universe can be read now! Constant Repeat by @alovesreading is out now and it’s incredible. A doesn’t know I’ve written Ella into this ending so I’m waiting for her to have a breakdown (she will, I know her too well at this point lol) but I really hope you enjoy Ella and Alex’s story as much as you’ve enjoyed reading this! (I love a multiverse and there’s also a different Alex fic of mine hidden in this chapter that will be my next long fic, Nightmare. But I’m having a break for a while but I will be back at some point, I promise x)

Taglist: @psychkunox @sofiaaraee @thewheeler @cold-hands-cold-eyesss @xovalliegirlxo @vroboat @hoodskillerqueen @woahhealy @emmaheg1005 @belledawnidk @elen-alambil @megann-duff @alexsvacuumcleaner @bshelley322 @g0thwat3rr @cassieinnit @ohmyolympusssywp @filling-thevoid @xqueenkt @indierock4ever @amturners @alovesreading

#matty healy x reader #alex turner x reader #matty x reader #alex x reader #matty healy #alex turner #matty healy fanfic #alex turner fanfic #matty healy fanfiction #alex turner fanfiction #the 1975 #arctic monkeys #george daniel #matt helders #adam hann #jamie cook #ross macdonald #nick o'malley #miles kane

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crazyk-imagine · 4 months

Text

Ruined Relationships, but the Love is There

Pairing: Mark Sloane x Ex-Girlfriend!reader

Characters: Mark Sloane, Ex-Girlfriend!reader, Kara Sloane, Jackson Avery, April Kepner, Meredith Grey, Christina Yang, Derek Sheppard, George O'Malley, Owen Hunt, Addison Montgomery (briefly mentioned)

Warnings: Angst, fluff, cheating, adultery, ooc peeps, minor cursing, drama (what else would you expect), like a lot of drama, near death experience, classic grey's things going on here, cheating, bad relationships, mentions of pregnancy, keeping children hidden from father, car accidents, reader is a doctor, everyone is in kahoots, Christina is into beating, Meredith and Derek are cute, Bailey is great as always, George is here and lives, no mentions of Izzie or Alex, friendships between Mark and Meredith, plus Mark and Christina, Christina is a secret romantic at heart

Word Count: 4,593

A/N: I feel like everyone is ooc but idc bc I love this fic

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You ignore him, praying to whatever god is listening to keep him away from you.

Meredith and Christina notice the tension in your shoulders, sharing a look.

“You know I don’t care about a lot of people but, are you okay?” the curly haired female asks.

You shrug, acting as if nothing has changed. “I’m fine, why?”

Meredith chimes in. “You’re looking a little-“

“Squirrely?”

“I was gonna go with tense but squirrely works.”

You huff through your nose, “would you two shut up.” You hand the clipboard back to your favorite nurse, Marjorie. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” You spin around and walk out, not looking back.

Derek shakes his head, watching you basically run out of the hospital.

Mark glances behind him, not finding who he wanted and sighs. He looks up to see his friend and offers a small wave.

The ferry boat lover nods to acknowledge him.

The plastic surgeon bids the others goodbye and stands in front of the doors, thinking about everything that led him here.

You drive past him without realizing it as he thinks of your face when you caught him in bed with Addison.

His eyes trail on the car, wishing he could see you again and not just glimpses.

You roll your eyes and walk away across the bridge, not caring how unprofessional you look. “I’m not talking to you.”

He picks up his pace, following after you. “Please just-“

You scoff, spinning around to face him, “no, I tried before. I did and then,” you lean forward poking him in his chest, “you decided to stick your dick in someone else. Someone who was married and oh, yeah, not your girlfriend.” You cross your arms, “so, excuse me for not being particularly excited at the sight of you.”

“Fiancé.”

You blink once, furrowing your brows. “What?”

“I was,” he gulps. "I was going to propose to you that night.” He pulls the little black box out of his pocket, handing it to you.

”Before or after you screwed Addison,” you bitterly add, staring at the box. If you open it, that's giving him hope.

"I- she came to me and-“

You scoff hard enough for the vibrations to scratch your throat for a few seconds. “I cannot believe this- you- you think it’s okay to just- I’m done.”

“Please don’t,” he begs, eyes getting glossier the more you talk. “Don’t say it.”

Your bottom lip wobbles, removing your gaze from him. “I’m done with this, with us, and you. Now, you get to deal with the guilt. If you have any at all.” You slam the box in his hand and walk away.

Nothing could have prepared anyone at the hospital for this.

You know they’re all looking at you and it pisses you off. “What are you looking at?!”

Christina does damage control, stopping everyone from getting your wrath.

Meredith finds him in the on-call room, she was hoping to nap before joining in on a surgery but seems like the universe had other plans. ”You uh- okay?”

He fiddles with the box, staring at the diamond that taunts him. “Does it look I’m okay?”

She shrugs, “not really but it’s better than admitting you were stupid for messing things up with her.”

“My mistake brought Derek to you, didn’t it?”

“Why are you here?”

“If I go to Joe’s I’m going to sleep around, proving her point.”

“And staying here?”

“I don’t know where else to go. Derek is still upset with me, and I don’t blame him, but I know he loves you and I don’t need to hear a speech from him. I’m not ready for him to tell me I messed up more than any of us want to admit.”

“Why did you do it?”

“Do what?” He asks, finally looking up from the ring. “I was scared.”

“To,” she gestures to the ring.

“That and be a husband.”

“You weren’t scared of asking, it was the commitment that got you, I can understand it.”

“No, no," he shakes his head. "I didn’t think- I knew I wouldn’t be a good husband. I- everyone only saw the bad, my parents, Derek at times but she didn’t. She never did and that’s why I,” he lets out a tearful chuckle, “that’s why I fell for her. She saw the good no one else did and I screwed it up.”

Meredith hands him a tissue.

“You tell anyone about this, and I’ll let you observe one of my surgeries beside me.”

“I wasn’t but if you’re offering.”

The two chuckled.

Christina owlishly blinks, watching as you work on your last patient for the day as if nothing’s happened.

“How can she just put it all behind her?” George questions, sitting beside her.

“Having a nervous breakdown earlier in the day helps.”

“I feel like there should be someone sitting between us.”

The future cardiologist shrugs, “suit yourself.”

“You’re going to check on her after she’s done, right?”

“I’ll talk to her, if she opens up, good for her.”

A smile dances across his lips, happy that someone’s going to check on you; he likes you and admires your work, knowing you could be someone as well-known as Ellis Grey.

“Can you teach me your sutures?”

You ignore her and finish checking over your charts. “Yours are fine. Tell me the real reason you're bugging me.”

She purses her lips, not wanting to admit it out loud. “Are you okay?”

“You really want to know?”

She hesitates to nod. “I… do.”

“It sucks. Everything just… sucks. I don’t want to be here, but this is the only place that makes me feel calm.” You hand Marjorie the chart, smiling at her before returning to Christina. “I’m going to get through this. He’s going to find a nice girl and have the family he always wanted while I’ll still be here.”

“He’s going to go through girls like I go through tequila.”

“I know,” you grab your bag. “Which is why I know he’ll finally find his girl.”

She follows you until you reach the door. "What if it's you?"

A sad smile stretches across your lips. "He lost her."

”Forever?”

You shrug.

The resident stands there, unsure of what to do now.

You glance in his direction, wondering how many women he’s going to write down on the sheet. You hand yours back to Bailey, “I keep my life outside of work, unlike some people.”

Mark inwardly groans.

Bailey avoids making eye contact with him, she can’t continue to feel bad for him when he’s the one who messed things up (from what you told her).

You walk past the new residents, not in the mood to deal with them, especially with the girls fawning over Mark.

You sit down and watch his surgery, listening to the way he talks down to them.

You always told him he needs to slow down and be kind to them or else they won’t respect him but with everything that’s happened, you assume he’s a little bitter.

He always knows when you're watching and composes himself, but he can’t help and snap at the newbie (you don’t need to be talked about as if you’re a piece of meat). He glances up, catching your gaze.

You gulp, finding his soft expression he only used for you.

Everyone turns to you.

Two of the girls in orange start gossiping beside you.

“I have charts to look over. Come with me?” George asks.

You nod, finding it hard to keep your gaze off him but do so, only to inform the girls of some key information. “Keep talking like that and you two won’t find yourself off bedpan duty for a few months. Don’t talk about your superiors like that again."

The young faced one eyes widen and her face pales at your threat.

Mark can’t help but smirk behind his mask, always loving it when you straightened people out, if it was necessary.

"I see you two still aren’t talking.”

“Shut up, George.”

“Right, yeah. Got it.”

You try and ignore him again, which is when Derek steps in. “You should talk to him.”

“I know you two are all buddy buddy now, but I can’t do that. I can’t pretend like he didn’t break my heart in two. So, excuse me for ignoring your best friend."

He stops in front of you. “I need you to stop, think about this. What if you two don’t make amends and something happens? How would you feel? Think about how he would feel?”

“We’d be depressed, but eventually get over it, maybe be slutty for a few months and that’s the end of it.”

“That’s not a healthy way of dealing with your feelings and you know it.”

“I don’t care if it’s healthy or not. I have issues and I deal with them my way.”

“If you’d talk to him, maybe you’ll feel better.”

You roll your eyes and head into the prep station before you two head into surgery.

Bailey rolls her eyes, reaching for your phone. “Your phone keeps buzzing, doctor.”

You sigh, “does it look important?”

She leans closer, whispering, “it’s about your daughter.”

“Daycare or babysitter?”

“Babysitter. Fever, wants her mom.”

You take a deep breath and lean over to talk to your friend, “doctor Bailey’s going to take over. I need to go.”

“You’re leaving in the middle of a surgery?”

“I have to take care of something.”

“What?”

“My daughter.”

The staff in the OR got quiet, no one observing said anything.

You didn’t see the lights until it was too late.

“We got one adult in critical condition. One child with a minor bruising.”

Bailey and Owen are the first to arrive.

The woman’s eyes narrow to the familiar baby in Matt’s arms.

Owen steps forward. “What happened?”

“Car accident. Drunk ran a red light. Drivers side took more of the impact.”

“We need to get her checked out now.” The redhead pushes himself through, taking over one of the rooms. He tells the interns and fresh residents to prep a surgical room and put Christina on babysitting duty, leaving Jackson to follow him and Callie into the OR.

“I heard there was an accident,” Mark says, standing in the doorway. “I wanted to see if you needed any assistance?”

Callie glances at her ally in the room. “No, you should go check on Derek. I think I heard him calling for you.”

“When did he-"

“She’s coding,” Jackson interrupts.

“Crap! Avery, push one of epi.”

Everyone in the room prays for it to work and you to come back.

“Let me help,” he takes a step forward before being called away by one of the nurses.

He takes a sip of coffee, goes over the notes and overhears a few residents gossiping. His head whips in their direction. "Where'd you hear that?” He asks them, not accepting their answers.

They freeze. "Where did you hear that? Is she here?"

The group of residents’ glances at one another, unsure of what to say. "Who told you she's here?"

April had never worked with Mark before and seeing how freaked out he was over someone who wanted almost nothing to do with him, she felt bad; if someone she was in love with was hurt or worse, she'd want to know. "We- we saw her come in. They-"

He doesn't listen to anything else and takes off, running past Christina, who coddles the tear eyed, red faced toddler in her arms.

He runs straight towards Meredith, who's talking to Owen. "Where is she?"

The red head takes a step foward. "She's in surgery-"

"What room?"

"Sloan, you know I can't-"

He grabs Owen's scrubs by the collar and pulls him close. "I need to see her. I can't be here, waiting to see if she's dead or not. Tell me where she is."

The ex-vet slowly reaches for the man's hands. "Mark, I need you to calm down."

"How can I calm down when I just found out my fiancé is in surgery?"

Meredith takes a seat beside him, slumping against the wall, offering him a snack.

He shakes his head, closes his eyes and resting his head against the wall. "Have you heard anything?"

"No," she shakes her head. "I don't even know where she is."

"I just- what am I going to do if she's really-"

"Don't talk like that. She's not one to give up. She's-"

"A fighter?"

"Yeah."

Christina turns the corner, eyes wide. "Meredith?" She spots the two of them and runs towards them, inadvertently introducing your daughter to her father. "Mer. Mer. I need your help."

"Where did you get a baby?" She pushes herself off the floor. "Why do you have a baby?"

"Bailey put me on Kara duty and she won't stop crying."

"Whose baby, is it?"

That's when things got awkward.

Meredith's eyes widen, "no."

She nods.

Mark opens his eyes, glancing up. His eyes stop on the little girl, who glances his way.

She reaches for him. "Dada."

No one knew what to do.

"Oh my god," the two women muttered.

He pushes himself off the floor, staring at her. There's no mistaking it, she has your features, but she's got his eyes.

The little girl fusses in the woman's arms.

Mark easily slides her into his, his daughter settles into his arms, staring at him with those wide, curious eyes. "Mama?"

He gulps, "we have to wait a little bit before we see mama, okay?"

She nods and lays her head down on his chest.

He closes his eyes to keep his tears at bay, kissing the top of her head.

"She still loves you," Christina tells him.

He keeps his gaze on his girls and hums. "When you showed her the ring, she didn't say it was officially over for you two but she's still heartbroken over you and Addison getting together."

"I was getting ready to leave."

"What?"

"I grabbed my jacket and made sure I had the ring. I was- I wanted that night to go perfectly but then I opened the door, and she was there." He sighs.

"She let herself in and I tried to get her to leave but she wouldn't and then she kissed me. I told her I couldn't because I was about to become a proud married man," he bitterly chuckles.

"I told her no and she got upset because she knew she could always run to me but when she knew she couldn't anymore, she decided she wanted to love me. The way I wanted her to when we were younger. I accepted it, you know."

The woman nods.

"I accepted the fact that she chose Derek. He was a good choice."

"He was a safe choice, and she knew that."

Mark nods, "yeah and that's why I... tried to warn him before he proposed."

"You tried to warn him?"

"He's my best friend, I couldn't let him go into a marriage that was going to hurt him."

She chuckles, "that's ironic."

"Shut up, Yang."

"Go on."

"I gave into her because a part of me was scared- scared I was going to hear the rejection. No, I can't marry you because..."

"You're a manwhore?"

"Baby present and, yes. I didn't want my past to define my future but then, it did, and she left with Derek."

"Do you think Derek knew about," Christina gestures to the baby in his arms.

"Probably. I'm not happy I missed it but at least I know she had someone who could take care of her."

"Are you ever going to tell her?"

"If she'll listen."

Her pager beeps.

"Go, Yang. I'm not leaving."

Derek nods and steps into the room.

"You hear all that?"

His friend shrugs, "only the good parts."

"Funny."

"She was going to tell you before... everything happened but then she needed to get away and I did too-"

"So, she left without saying anything."

"If it means anything, she wrote a journal throughout the entire pregnancy, in case she passed, and Kara wanted to know about her mom."

He can tell by Mark's expression; he needs to explain.

"She was stressed throughout the entire pregnancy, and it was cause for concern. She had a few fainting spells and needed to stay home for a while. The doctor was making it seem like if she even went to the bathroom, she was going to lose Kara which scared her more than leaving you."

"Why?"

"If she lost Kara, it meant losing a piece of you which would have made her feel like it was officially over for the two of you."

Your heart monitor beeps. "Derek?"

His friend calms you down, checking you over before whispering that Mark and Kara are in the room.

You slowly turn your head, spotting them.

The father of your child smiles, relieved to see you awake. "Hey."

You spot your little girl tucked into his neck and tear up. You bring your hand up to your mouth to hide the sobs that want to escape.

Mark gestures for your guys' friend to exit so he can talk to you. He slowly pushes himself out of the chair, adjusting to the little girl. "Hey, hey," he brushes the few strands of hair out of your face, his thumb rubbing agaist your hairline. "What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

"I'm sorry."

He shakes his head. "Don't be. I'm just- I'm happy you're okay."

"I wanted to call you so many times."

"I know."

"I wanted you to be there."

"Where?"

"In the room," you whisper, staring into his eyes. "I didn't want her to be away from you but-"

He nods. "I know, I messed up. If I didn't- if it didn't happen, we could have been a family, and I will forever be sorry because you went through it alone."

Hearing your voice alerts the little girls’ ears and she squirms in his grasp.

He sets her feet on the open area near your arm, letting her turn around and launch herself into your arms. "Mama!"

"Oh, my sweet baby." You kiss the side of her head. "Mama missed you."

His heart swells at the sight of you two.

A few days later and you feel okay enough to be sent home.

You bid your goodbyes to everyone, even the newbies because they were nice enough to check in on you and make sure everything was okay. You step outside and take a deep breath.

"What do you think you're doing?"

A quiet moment ruined by your ex.

"I'm breathing, Mark. Can I do that, or do you need to make sure the weather's just right?"

He chuckles before getting out of the car. "You know your doctor gave you strict orders, I think you should be following them but that's just me."

You stare at him with a deadpan expression. "I got it, Mark. I know what I need to do, don't try and patronize me."

"I would never."

The residents huddle together, watching the two of you.

"How much do you want to bet that they're going to get back together?" Christina asks.

Jackson nods, "I'll take that bet."

Meredith stares at the two of them.

"You two are awful," April adds.

"Yes, but we'll be bad people with money," the future cardiologist tells her with a sarcastic smile.

Derek stops at the desk, taking a sip of his coffee before making his way to the group. "Okay, if we're all done gawking at two grown adults trying to move past their differences, can we get back to work?"

"You're no fun. I remember when you were having fun."

"You want to scrub in on my surgery, Dr. Yang?"

"Let's go have fun. See yah, Mer."

You make it through the door of your place and wait for it. "Say it."

"What?" He closes the door, setting the stroller by the door as he unbuckles Kara.

"I know you're judging, so, out with it. I'm not going to pretend as if you don't want to say something because you do."

"I don't," he notices the look you're giving him. "I... like it."

"You hesitated even finishing that sentence."

"I did not."

"Did too."

"Mama!"

You two glance down at the little girl, wanting attention and out of her father's grasp. You gently take her from him and wander into the kitchen, scouring through the cabinets to figure out what kind of things you could have as a snack.

This is what he wants, he wants this life: the one where you're not mad at him, and he can watch his daughter grow while you look amazing at being a mom.

He gulps down what little saliva he has in his mouth and takes a hesitant step closer to you. "What are we feeling?"

You hum, "I don't know, little miss here can't decide on what she wants."

"I can make something," he meekly offers, unsure if this is too much or not.

"What can you make? Last time I checked all you knew was protein smoothies and even then, that wasn't the best."

He scoffs, "I know how to cook, and you know it. You forget who made you dinner for our second date."

You open your mouth to respond but don't have it in you when you think about the good times you two had. Your gaze drops.

He feels bad but he can't pretend as if your romantic past doesn't exist. "I was so worried I messed up with that dinner."

"Really?"

"Of course, I was cooking for the most beautiful girl within a five-mile radius of my house. I was more than nervous."

"Good."

You step out of the room and start cleaning up, only for Mark to stop you and grab everything you pick up.

"I told you not to do anything. I got this."

You lean over the couch and watch him wander around your place. "Do you..."

"What?" He glances up, staring at you with kind eyes, wanting to hear what you have to say.

"Do you ever wonder what it would have been like if it didn't happen?"

"I know we'd be married with at least one other kid now."

"I'm serious."

"I don't want to focus on the past."

You scoff, rolling your eyes. "Says the man who always wanted to ask about my exes."

You don't even know how it happened but here you are. You pull away, needing to breathe before continuing.

"Are you sure about this?"

You stare into his eyes, for what feels like an eternity. "I'm sure. I want this. Please," you beg.

His lips curve upwards, "who am I to deny you a fun time?"

You keep him at arm’s length, "that comment makes me want to rethink this whole thing."

"No, it doesn't."

You grumble and pull him back in for a kiss.

Meredith immediately closes the door, regretting not checking before opening. "Seriously you guys?"

You reach for your shirt and cover your mouth to hide your giggles, Mark turns to you with a smirk. "How do you know we weren't trying to invite you?"

"Because you know better."

Your eyes widen.

"Hey, Bailey," he says with a cool tone.

"You two better be out of there in the next five minutes or-"

You open the door and run past the two. "See yah, Bails. See yah, Mer."

Mark stays there flabbergasted at how quickly you ran out the door, leaving him to deal with her.

He closes the door just as you finish making dinner. "You are evil."

You stick your bottom lip out, "I don't think so, I made dinner. I'm going to be feeding you, I'd consider that to be something nice."

"You left me to deal with that- that woman alone."

"I left you with Bails, you were fine."

"I was not fine. I was far from fine."

You click your tongue, "stop exaggerating."

"I'm not and you know it."

"Okay," you groan. "I'm sorry. I left you with Bailey and that wasn't nice."

"It wasn't." He wraps his arms around your waist, resting his head on your chest.

"I said sorry, don't be like this."

"I think I'm going to need a little more in order to forgive you."

You lean into him as you settle into his arms.

The monitor goes off and you're brought back to the reality of you being in the arms of your ex.

You push yourself out of his grasp and walk towards her room. "Hey, pumpkin."

She holds her arms out for you.

You pick her up, "how's my little baby?"

She babbles a response. "Dada?"

"He's still here, checking on dinner. Your favorite."

"Maccheese!"

You chuckle, "yeah."

"There's my favorite girl," he smiles at the happy little girl.

You observe the way they interact with a heavy heart, knowing you can't continue doing this with him.

"What happened?" Christina asks, practicing new sutures on a banana.

"Nothing happened-"

"You're not sleeping with McSteamy, something happened."

"I just- I realized we need to not fall back into old habits."

"Do you still love him?"

You hesitate to answer.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Of course, of course I still love him, but I can't be in love with him-"

"Because he was an adulterous whore?"

"Yeah."

"Have you seen him with anyone else?"

"I didn't need to see anything if all the girls talked about him?"

"Did you ever think maybe they lied? Maybe they're jealous of the fact that you have a hot guy fawning over you and only you. What else would they do other than gossip?"

"How am I supposed to believe that?"

"Have you ever talked to him?"

"I'm scared."

"So is he."

"I don't want to get hurt again."

"He wouldn’t want to lose you again."

"Christina?"

"Yeah?"

"You're wise beyond your years."

You run to him, pulling him into the break room.

He attempts to get up. "Shut up and let me talk."

You take a deep breath, "I want to be with you, like we were before but we're not those people anymore. And- and I want you to be in Kara's life so you can watch her grow up but this," you gesture between the two of you.

"This can only work if we're honest and you don't leave me for a quick lay or else, I will put you in an OR and change things about you. I will not put myself or Kara on the line if you're not going to give us your all."

He nods, taking in everything you've said. He pushes himself off the couch and walks towards you and pulls you in for a hug. "I'm never letting you go," he mumbles into your hair. "Living without you was the worst time of my life."

Mark pulls away, cupping your cheek, staring into your eyes. "If you let me into your lives, I promise not to mess it up because you two are too important to me and I don't know if I'd be able to live without you."

You sniffle, chuckling at his dorky smile. "Then don't be an idiot and kiss me."

"Finally," Christina turns around, pointing to everyone. "You all owe me money."

"Us."

"You owe Mer and I money."

Derek makes his way towards them. "What are we looking at?" He smiles, "good, it's about time he got his act together."

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