#Him not being real is actually a crime against humanity and myself

[lil-gingerbread-queen]

Pls, how am I suppose to survive when everywhere I look I see him??? How??

This man is making me suffer. I don't have the game, I don't even have access to my switch and FE3H, and I'm trying really hard to not get spoiled. He's there, showing how fucking pretty he is, while I have no access to his games or contents about him!!!!

Yes, this is a screenshot of an ad. I will not even look up his name in case of spoilers

#my love for claude von riegan isn't healthy #crying shaking screaming sobbing the whole gang #over this man #I would die for him #I would kill for him #yes I'm asexual and yes I losing my mind over 1 pretty man #we exist #bskwohlgzlgkfzuru #Him not being real is actually a crime against humanity and myself

[thedreideldiaries]

Some People are Still Good

I recently caught up with a friend of mine and offhandedly, sort of casually mentioned that I’d been off instagram since October 7th. He didn’t know what I meant. He'd heard something about a terrorist attack and Israel's military retaliating, but nothing else.

In another universe without tiktok history lessons, I might have been upset. In this one, I was immensely relieved. I didn’t have to argue with him, or hear him rattling off whatever talking points are de rigueur for the Online Left, or get into a heated discussion about the meaning of the word “Zionist,” or get accused of being an apologist for crimes against humanity. I could just…tell him what happened, and how I felt about it.

I told him about the massacre and hostage-taking. I told him how many of the people murdered and kidnapped were peace activists - easier targets, he noted, than anyone in the actual government that Hamas is supposedly resisting. How this was, in proportion to Israel’s population, a bigger terrorist attack than 9/11. That it wasn’t just Israeli Jews who were killed or kidnapped, but Bedouins, laborers from abroad, Americans, and (this is something conveniently left out of a lot of the Discourse), Palestinians. 

I told him about the Israeli government doing exactly what Hamas had counted on them doing in Gaza. I said that people aren’t their governments. I tried to make it clear that I hope Netanyau, may his name be blotted out, lives out the rest of his days in shame and political obscurity (or, to save us all some time, quickly succumbs to some hideously painful disease). That I know there are miles of difference between going to war with Hamas and going to war with the Palestinian people. That if you express any hope that the rest of the hostages will be rescued, you run the risk of getting lumped in with people who think airstrikes on refugee camps are somehow justified, and that unfortunately those people do very much exist.

I told him how Jews are still reeling from what happened, and that it doesn’t help that so many on the left seem to think it’s irrelevant. I told him how my boyfriend (who I’ve seen cry maybe twice over the last decade), spent the entire afternoon of October 7th sobbing at his desk as he watched everything unfold in real time. I told him how that same boyfriend posted about how frustrating it is for Jews to have their suffering repeatedly dismissed, and how one of his leftist friends responded by accusing him of being a genocide apologist. You know, how you talk to a person in mourning. 

I told him how when the first news of the massacre hit, there were leftists who praised it as the start of some glorious revolution. How I don't know how many of them were my acquaintances, because I got off social media before I could find out. How a lot of them were probably ill-informed about what was happening and how and why, but others just think killing Jews is good, actually, and I don't have the mental or emotional fortitude to find out which fall into which category.

I told him how frustrating it is to be a leftist of Jewish background, sickened by the right and heartbroken by the left. I told him how many petitions I’ve been asked to sign that didn’t so much as mention Hamas or the attack. I said I was worried to bring it up, because if you say “but what about the Jews (and, you know, others) who were tortured and murdered and kidnapped,” you get accused of all sorts of heinous, improbable crimes, and I simply do not have the kind of time or energy for that discussion. 

I told him how I still like my classmates, but I don’t trust most of them. I can’t let my guard down around them. I can’t talk about how I feel about the conflict except in vague terms, which is ironic, because the people who are brave enough to say “peace would be nice” are accused of not taking a stand. How terrified I am that I'll use the wrong word and out myself as whatever they think that makes me. How I’d hoped they’d be my friends, before all of this. How they’re all being really nice to me, and I can’t shake the thought that they’d hate me if they knew I thought the state of Israel should exist and that Israelis have the right to not be murdered. How I wish I felt like I could be in activist spaces without having to loudly and eagerly participate in my own dehumanization and that of so many people I love. 

And he listened. 

I don’t think anyone Jewish is wrong to be cautious. But for all the leftist goyim willing to argue that murdering babies is actually a good thing if the babies belong to colonizers, there are others - many others, I hope - who genuinely want to understand what’s actually going on. Who see a difference between resisting your oppressors and murdering them at a music festival or burning them alive in their homes. Who find “it’s wrong to kill civilians” to be an uncontroversial statement. I hate how many people I can no longer trust, but I’m so grateful to have at least some non-Jewish friends who actually understand nuance and care enough to try.

#reminders #jumblr #israel-hamas war

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Bengiyo Queer Cinema Syllabus

Hello! After a holiday hiatus, I am returning to @bengiyo’s queer cinema syllabus. We will be ringing in the new year with Unit 4: Heartbreak Alley, the totally light-hearted, definitely not agonizing section of the syllabus where I get to watch countless acts of violence be committed against queer people. That fuck I have Lesbians waiting for me at the end of this unit. The films in Unit 4 are: Bent (1997), Strange Fruit (2004), Boys Don’t Cry (1999), Brokeback Mountain (2005), Parting Glances (1986), Philadelphia (1993), The Living End (1992), Holding the Man (2015), Jeffery (1995), and Boys on the SIde (1995)

Today I will be writing about 

Boy’s Don’t Cry (1999) dir. Kimberly Pierce

Content Warning: rape, murder, self harm

[Run Time- 1:58, Lang: English] [I was not able to find Strange Fruit anywhere online so will investigate my library to see if they have a copy]

Summary: A young man named Brandon Teena navigates love, life, and being transgender in rural Nebraska. 

Cast: *Hilary Swank as Brandon Teena *Chloe Sevigny as Lana Tisdel *Peter Sarsgaard as John Lotter *Brendan Sexton III as Tom Nissen *Alicia Goranson as Candace

Side note: Boys Don’t Cry is based on the true story, and real life rape and murder of Brandon Teena, who was 21 years old when he was killed in Fall River, Nebraska. 

__

To start, I’m glad that I looked this film up before I watched it so that I knew what to expect. I don’t know how often this will occur throughout the syllabus, but while the syllabus itself is a lead in to BLs it seems to be structured towards Baby Gays, which means that I am expanding my knowledge of famous trans people in history beyond Stonewall. I didn’t know who Brandon Teena was until I looked up this movie, I didn’t see his name printed in anything until I read Transgender History. 

I am having a delayed reaction to this movie. While I was watching it, I was able to bear witness to the violence, it was graphic, and brutal, but I knew it was coming, I had time to prepare myself, I could abstract the violence being done in to a fictional character, I could remind myself it was a movie when the cameras panned away from the dead bodies and I could see the supposed corpses breathing. And then it was over and I couldn’t escape it anymore. I couldn’t escape the knowledge that this was real, that this actually happened, that what I had just watched, what I was not spared from, was bearing witness to an actual crime, to actual violence, rape, murder of an actual, real human being, of Family. 

I said this in my last post from Heartbreak Alley that I went in to this section just expecting to be put through the wringer for almost the entire length of a film. I would say I went in to this unit expecting to feel my skin crawling the way it did with Mysterious Skin. Instead I have been gifted all sides of queerness: acceptance, homophobia, love, hatred, joy, pain, gentleness, violence. I want to talk for a bit about how grateful I was to see Brandon happy. His experience in this film does speak to truth, to trans experience, the complexity of being loved by a family member but not having your identity respected. Brandon’s cousin cuts his hair short for him, but can’t call him a man. Brandon gets in a bar fight and is beaming afterwards cause he got a shiner, cause random strangers didn’t clock him as trans. Brandon stays in Fall River for far longer than he should because he is riding the high of just getting to exist as himself. I know a number of friends who wanted to immediately get the hell out of dodge when they started their transition. Hell, I barely return home myself. 

Brandon does stupid boy things, he flirts with every pretty girl, he pushes his own boundaries because he wants to prove that he is a man. He smiles. He smiles often. He smiles widely. He smiles. I loved how much he smiled in this movie. I love that his life was not all suffering. This movie is kind to Brandon while still having to put him through the inevitable. 

This movie speaks to queer strength and queer fears, Brandon knew the people who raped and murdered him. They were his friends, he was their friend. They smoked together, drank beer together, and tried to dodge cops together.  John (the man who will go on to murder Brandon) was one of the first people we saw affirm Brandon’s gender identity (at least in the movie). And I think this movie is smart in how they set John and Tom up. They are friendly but they are wild, we learn that John has issues with impulse control, we see how quickly John and Tom can escalate their behavior towards aggression. 

Lana serves a reminder to trans people that we are worthy of being loved, and that there are people who will love us. I love what it says about Lana when she notices Brandon’s breasts during their first sexual encounter. When they finish she feels his lap, searching for a dick, she strokes his cheek and comments on how smooth his face is, she calls him handsome. For me this is where I think Lana figures it out, even if she isn’t told until later. 

Lana (and later on Candace) serve as reminders to me that rural doesn’t mean bigoted. It can. It absolutely can. But there are queer people everywhere, there are allies everywhere, queer people can have a life, find love, experience joy anywhere. When Brandon returns to Lincoln for his court date, his cousin Lonny asks him “Fall River? You know they hang faggots there,” and that could be true. Fall River had people like John and Tom, it also had people like Lana,  Candace, and the nurse. 

[CW: the next few paragraphs will discuss sexual assault] 

I loved that Lana was committed to Brandon as a person, she did not care what his body looked like. I loved that she refused to participate in Brandon’s humiliation. When John and Tom forcibly stripped him and tried to show Lana his vulva, she refused to look. It’s Brandon’s business, she loves Brandon, she doesn’t care, she will ease as much pain and humiliation as she possibly can. 

The rape scene was brutual and hard to watch, especially because they don’t start it right away. Brandon is being interrogated, you get the implication, and while I was writing notes to myself I was just about to write “i’m glad they spared us the scene” when they cut to Brandon’s rape sequence. I sometimes struggle with displayed assaulted scenes, especially when they are associated with real people, because I think it is important to really, fully understand the violence that was committed against Brandon. I think the brutality he was treated with is very much an important thing to sit with and understand, and I am not one to feel like people should turn away from observing acts of violence. But I also don’t know that I love watching the assault of a man who actually existed who was really beaten and gang raped, I don’t think we have any way of knowing if he’d want to show that. I don’t think we have any way of knowing if that honors his memory. 

Either way, I did find it absolutely fascinating from a characterization standpoint what happened after Brandon was raped. Because before they get confirmation that Brandon is trans, they are using Brandon’s name and pronouns, then they get the confirmation and partway through they switch to Brandon’s deadname and misgender him. When they rape him, they misgender him. When he’s raped we see him getting thrown around, slammed against the car, punched in the face, etc. he is treated with such violence, and then it is over and Tom and John and Brandon kinda go back to normal? They gently place his shirt over his torso, they call him buddy, they help him stand up, they help him get in to the car, they ask Brandon if he is okay. 

They take Brandon home, and immediately go back to affirming his identity. Like Brandon is in the bathroom, trying not to hold back or quiet down his breakdown, and John and Tom refer to him as ‘little dude’ when they start asking him if he is okay and if he will need any help. Like???? I feel like I will need to sit in that scene for a while trying to pick apart what John and Tom’s brains are doing there. Don’t get me wrong, the less I have to hear Brandon be deadnamed or misgendered the better, but it was truly a wild thing to see Brandon’s cousin deadname and misgender him all the time while still caring about and loving him, and to see Brandon’s assaulters and future murderers just slip so easily back in to masculine terminology for Brandon in this scene. 

[Assault conversation over]

We get a similar thing with Candace where she is the first person to figure out that Brandon is trans, and she is horrified. But when Brandon comes a-knocking on her door, at first Candance cannot even meet his eye but she still uses his name, and the second she picks up on the fact that something is wrong with the way his voice wavers, she faces him, she softens, she asks him what they did to him, and she lets him back in to her home, she tries to hide him to keep him safe long enough to get out of town. 

And Brandon gets another moment of peace, he and Lana have sex with Lana knowing everything about him. Knowing that he lied about his life, knowing that he has a vagina. They have another moment alone to dream, to talk about leaving Fall River, to plan to run away together. I don’t know if any of that happened in real life, but the movie at least grants Brandon one more moment of joy before his entire life is ripped away from him. 

And it happens so fast. Candace is shot and killed instantaneously. Branon is shot in the head and he dies instantaneously, and John stabs him to make sure he’s finished the job, but in an instant, with the pull of a trigger Brandon is just…gone. Twenty-one years old, a whole life ahead of him. I think movies too often grant its characters a dying monologue. They get to have a final moment before they finally, slowly succumb to their injuries. But not here. Brandon is alive one second, and dead the next. There is no moment for silence right after, there is no remorse with John or Tom, they turn against Lana, they turn against each other. They are firing bullets at random, John is stopping Tom from killing Lana or Candace’s toddler. 

I’ll tell you what though, sometimes the parallels parallel. Two days ago, my friend and I learned of the death of someone we cared about and loved, it’s a devastating loss for our household, and a devastating loss for the broader community. As far as I know, they did not die from any violent action, but they were a part of an incredibly stigmatized and disregarded community. The last few people who have passed away in my life died slowly, I was able to brace for it, but this was quick, unexpected and I say this only because seeing Brandon die so quickly, knowing he was real, knowing he had so much time taken from him, that knowledge just wrapped itself right around the rest of my grief for the week. I had a delayed emotional reaction to this movie, it took a couple minutes of silence afterwards to feel the blow, but I think having watched this when I did, Brandon Teena’s story will live in a different, deeper part of me than most of the films I’ve watched so far. 

Favorite Moment

There isn’t one scene that really stands out to me, cause everything was so strong. I feel like my favorite moment is maybe right at the beginning when Brandon looks in the mirror after his haircut and sees himself and you can just see the happiness take root in his body. 

Favorite Quote

“You’re so handsome” 

Lana says this after she and Brandon have sex for the first time. I talked about it a bit above, but I think she figured out that Brandon was trans here, and I see her calling him handsome as affirmation.

Final Score

9/10

This was a fantastic film with incredible acting.

#bengiyo queer cinema syllabus #queer cinema syllabus #boys don't cry #boys don't cry (1999) #brandon teena #unit 4: heartbreak alley #apologies for skipping Strange Fruit y'all I went to watch it and I can't find it online so I will need to scour the library for a copy #i do hope I will be able to watch it #wka long post

[mdhwrites]

I saw a post a while ago lambasting Amphibia for having its characters 'do the most horrendous shit imaginable' for the sake of comedic plots and get off far too easily for it. In their view, Amphibia took slapstick comedy way 'too far' sometimes. I thought this was quite hyperbolic; the protagonists made serious mistakes, but rarely anything I'd call unforgivable, especially since they'd almost always show a level of remorse. But it did make me think about the way immoral acts are portrayed in comedic shows, and how we, as viewers, can tolerate and forgive things we probably wouldn't in real life because of the way these acts are presented to us.

I mean, think about Hop-Pop using mind control on Anne, Sprig and Polly in Children of the Spore. If anything like that happened to you in real life, chances are you wouldn't react to someone violating your body and mind by shrugging your shoulders and going 'well, guess we pushed you pretty far.' You'd probably beat the shit out of HP and never talk to him again. But that episode is kinda self-aware about the awfulness of it all (which I love). Polly flat-out says the old frog crossed all kinds of ethical and moral lines XD

Going back to the whole 'too far' accusation, though, I'm pretty sure we're smart enough to understand the difference between a silly frog show and real-life crimes. I don't think there needs to be super realistic consequences to everything (as the post I mentioned was suggesting) when your focus is on writing a slice-of-life fantastical comedy. I guess the only real argument you could make is 'but it's teaching kids to forgive absolutely atrocious, unforgivable things!' And...maybe? But I'm pretty sure any kid with their head screwed on straight understands not to replicate or forgive immoral behaviour too easily.

I guess what I'm trying to ask is, do you think characters doing awful things for the sake of comedy or plot can go too far, in that they can unintentionally make characters far too heinous to sympathize with, or do you think complaints like those of the post I mentioned above are a result of taking something far too seriously? Is there even such a thing as 'too far' when it comes to slapstick comedy?

So let's talk about intent, tone and framing because these things REALLY matter to a story. It's actually part of the problem with fandoms wanting everything to be realistic, darker, etc. because they're really asking for one thing: For them to all be the same. To not be what they are because, you know, the fact that these are comedy cartoons for kids MATTERS.

But first let's actually shift gears AWAY from cartoons for a second to talk about things being genuinely irredeemable for comedy. MANY people are really against prank style reality tv because it preys so completely on human suffering. Because these people are doing terrible things to just normal people. I personally don't like the premise... But I like Impractical Jokers. That show frames it DEMONSTRABLY more about terrible things happening to these four friends, by these four friends, and usually the worst they do to others is leave them a little confused or a bit uncomfortable. One of the big elements to changing this is that all the challenges are effectively dares. Someone either commits to the bit or if it becomes too much, they dip out but they are ALLOWED to dip out, minus the final jokes which are always pretty much purely at the Joker's expense.

Are these four people bad people? No. But part of why we also know that is because it's television and they're doing it to entertain as part of being comedians. Bizarrely enough, a lot of modern cartoon fandoms seem to want to act like fiction IS reality. It's where you get people going "Oh, you're being so cruel to a 14 year old, nuerodivergent girl!" and me going "I'm being critical of a character in a narrative. Can you please stop telling me, an actual human being in the real world, to kill myself because of a fictional character?"

Because shock of all shocks, PEOPLE CAN TELL REALITY FROM FICTION! In fact, even kids can! The fucking video game industry had to go through this hell HARD to prove that killing people in a video game is not the same as having psychopathic tendencies in the real world. Do you know how many kids play CoD? And those kids are fine. At least most of them.

So with all of that preamble out of the way: When can a morality focused show fuck up?

It's actually incredibly rarely in the terrible things the characters do because the show USUALLY addresses these elements as part of the moral of the day.

For the example given of Hop Pop's mind control, it is shown as... Eerie to put it mildly. Even from go, Hop Pop only enjoys it so long as he doesn't have to interact with it. It is never framed as a positive besides a bit selfishness. However, Hop Pop is a good enough person to show genuine remorse and try to fix this. He puts in a lot of effort, is admonished as the lesson of the day is learned to not try to control people and to potentially compromise and then it MOVES. ON. Because they live in a fantasy world where anyone could die at any second. A day of none thoughts is not actually that big of a deal, especially since it wasn't done out of malice or even really on purpose. It's a part of the fun of the setting and of the fantasy genre as a whole that you can just do these weird concepts like this and move on because magic happens sometimes. You might grumble for a day or two but hey, at least it was your neighbor and not the king, am I right!? Hail King Andrias.

A big part of this though, and why so many morality driven shows can have characters do terrible things without imparting the wrong lessons, is because it's addressed. Pretty much explicitly. It is framed as wrong, addressed as wrong and then fixed because it was WRONG. Even if it gives momentary gain, that gain is almost always also included in being wrong.

It's actually a formula that Amphibia purposefully breaks for an episode, carrying it over from directly the one before, because there genuinely was one crime committed that hadn't been addressed and by the time it was, that sin had grown to a point where it was too reasonable to have a character still be mad to ignore it: The music box. Hop Pop hiding it is actually an AWFUL thing to do because it dooms Anne, it means her parents will never get closure, dooms the rest of Anne's friends, etc. etc. Hop Pop has to be okay with Anne never quite being fully happy because of always wanting to go home while also living with this false hope that he implanted into her. A trust he has not earned because of the lie.

So even after they theoretically have their morality episode about the box, Amphibia takes this time for such a PERSONAL attack on Anne to stick with her for another episode during The First Temple. It actually acknowledges that you don't get over everything immediately. That sometimes you need space. I don't even like that episode but the break in formula is actually meant to make the message more powerful, and does so successfully, especially because the crime was different. It wasn't of indifference or something quickly fixed. It was of long term AGONY and a complete breach in trust that would make one question what relationship they can have with another person. There's pretty much zero other crimes in the show like that besides Sasha/Marcy's betrayals, which aren't treated as easy fixes, and Andrias' betrayal is the heel turn that makes him the primary antagonist. These crimes, these personal, genuinely awful things to do to other people that could be replicated, unlike so much of the fantasy violence, are usually seen as something you do have to work on. It's a great, nuanced take on being a morality one off show while also being able to elevate some issues to being dealt with more seriously and consistently.

Also, quick note from someone on my Discord: They NEED to do bad things in order to teach! They are meant to be the bad example so when their actions lead to things going wrong, you understand not to copy that behavior. This is honestly storytelling 101 for most... Plots. Not just morals but plots. If the characters do NOTHING, nothing happens and nothing will be learned.

You want a show that will teach kids bad lessons and then reinforce there are no consequences for those? WELCOME TO THE OWL HOUSE! Specifically: The show that tells you to lie and keep secrets because your fear justifies keeping them!

I know that sounds shitty but like... Luz is the main character. For half of the show, she is portrayed as the second most moral character in the show behind Willow. She admonishes stealing, cheating, etc. as her contrast with Eda. Then after Yesterday's Lie... She literally can't stop lying and never faces consequences for it.

The closest actually comes in Falls and Follies where Amity at least forces a promise out of Luz to be more open with her. This actually though doesn't fix the problem, it just makes it WAY WORSE because one of the main targets of these lies, that kids can easily replicate, especially because Luz is almost always lying about things that might upset others which is the most common thing kids will lie about, is Amity. So now we have both lying and breaking promises. You know, two of the most basic morals any kids show should impart on the audience!

In Reaching Out though, Amity gets a little mad but then it's excused because of her dad! In Thanks to Them, no one gives a shit that Luz has been keeping secrets and lying for months. Camila makes sure Luz DOESN'T tell her friends the truth either about her plans. You know, Luz's MOM who should want her daughter to be an honest person. The show then constantly keeps cutting Luz off from telling anyone anything because it literally can't without revealing how bullshit what she's doing is until by the end of the show... Luz hasn't been punished in any way and the lies just... Drift away.

Completely unaddressed.

This causes a problem because while the lies theoretically hurt Luz... They hurt less than losing her friends. Hurt less than disappointing a parent. Hurt less than making her look bad. And this is the main character. The one kids are supposed to connect with the most. The one who usually most explicitly defines the morality of a show. And she is never punished or stopped from all. Of. Her. Lies.

(As a note: This is also how you get a lot of guys taking the wrong lessons from anime perverts. Sure, this guy gets smacked but he never loses his friends. Never faces real consequences. In return... He gets way more ass than the main character does, doesn't he? *gags violently*)

THAT is how you impart bad morals. It's not surprising to me that the fandom for TOH hides behind excuses so much for their show because their literal main character was justified, in fiction, to have all of the terrible things she did, all the choices she didn't have to make or the people she discarded, because she ALWAYS had an excuse. And so long as you have an excuse, by what TOH says, you can get away with fucking anything.

And mind you, that last part is NOT Luz specific. Have a bad uncle? Don't worry Hunter, the fact that you literally hunt, oppress and potentially kill wild witches can be entirely forgotten and ignored. Have a mean mommy? Don't worry Amity, we literally never have to properly address the literal years of bullying you did to another character or even how attempting to kill Luz was wrong. Collector? COME ON! You just had bad friends/family so now you just need good ones and we can forget all about you oppressing people for fucking months!

This isn't addressing these problems. These are excuses. And excuses can seem REALLY appealing to people. After all, how many hide awful acts or statements behind: "Come on, it was just a joke." Shields are useful for trying to avoid criticism after all. If you never acknowledge you were in the wrong, you don't have to feel bad for having done something mean, let alone terrible.

Just to bring it back to Amphibia: Sasha tries to do this. She believes she knows best so she feels justified in all she does because it will make everyone the happiest, at least in her own eyes. Then in Turning Point, she realizes the folly of her ways, addresses that she was a terrible person and plants her foot down FIRM. No more acting the part of protector while actually being a tyrant. She will risk her very life in order to right these wrongs. And we see it also in Commander Anne where she is taking the change seriously. These are two half episodes, a single episode in full, that lets us know that her actions were inexcusable and that they were wrong and now she is allowed to be a part of the good guys now that she has made sure the audience knows that they can look to her as an example.

One full episode to ADDRESS the fact that what Sasha did was wrong and to not excuse it but to learn from it.

That's why all these terrible things protagonists do in shows is fine. They learn from it. They genuinely regret their actions. They show the audience why they shouldn't have done it. It's never okay to the show that they did. Not that it can't be forgiven, because people should be allowed the chance to grow, but that it still wasn't okay.

For a kid's show, that is pitch perfect. It's why moral of the day storytelling exists and I can't really think of any huge errors in this department on Amphibia's side. It's pretty damn good at smacking someone over the head when they act like a jackass. At bare minimum, there are WAY worse examples out there.

======+++++======

This is absolutely one of those criticisms that has me look at the person making it and go "Just admit you don't like cartoons. Or children's media in general probably." Admittedly, there's actually plenty of adult stuff just as childish, no one stays mad in Family Guy, so it's probably just "You don't like cartoons." It's the sort of bad faith criticism that just reveals you as not having actually wanted the product but whatever you thought the product should be.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

#amphibia #toh critical #the owl house criticism

[foxlored]

Deconstructing Luz & Hunter and Wittebane Siblings Parallels

Alternatively titled: Luz is actually not a stand-in for Philip and I will fight the show's writers on this myself if I must

Another Owl House mini-essay because this show's been on the mind. As the previous one, expect some mentions of abuse, murder, colonization, and so on (as per canon-typical Belos awfulness). Technically peer reviewed (my discord friends talked about it with me)

Luz & paralleling Philip/Belos

The show does a lot of work to make you see Luz as equivalent to Belos, partly in order to deconstruct that. I don't mind that actually, I think the subversion of the "just as bad as the villain" trope fits the show's themes of deconstructing the fantasy genre, given its similar takes on the idea of a chosen one and so on. However, I don't think these parallels are narrative as much as they are just a manifestation of Luz's anxieties and Belos feeding into that.

Stay with me here: We have a character who abandons the only family member they have left in order to stay in the Demon Realm. They fall in love with a witch, and fall in love with the world they're staying in. They unlearn the initial ideas they had about the world that dehumanize its inhabitants in some way—and are in conflict with Philip/Belos, who wishes to "save their soul" and get them out of there.

Am I talking about Caleb or Luz? That's a trick question, because it's both. It's literally the same character arc! And more importantly here—there's something to suggest that at least Belos sees them in the same way.

"We're human! We're better than this!"

Belos has a very peculiar dynamic with Luz in the fact that he is incredibly bent on trying to "save" her despite all she has done to go against him. He sees her as a potential ally, a human corrupted by the sinfulness of witchkind—and offers her an honestly that is pretty much never given to any other character. Now, compare this to the scene in For the Future where he hallucinates Caleb.

"I tried to save your soul. It's your fault this all happened!"

The mentality is strikingly similar—and while we don't have much content to show the specifics of Philip and Caleb's relationship, what we are given suggests a very real parallel between how he views Caleb and Luz.

What about Hunter?

A fair question, as the show poses Hunter as the Caleb to Luz's Philip—especially with him already being a grimwalker of Caleb. However, it's important to note that a significant part of that parallel is that it's incomplete—Hunter isn't the replacement for Caleb that Belos wants.

Because the cycle of killing and destroying grimwalker upon grimwalker is built off the fact that they cannot match what Caleb was. They... aren't Caleb. Even Hunter, who looked the closest, was just that: the closest. Not an actual replacement. Remember Belos had no qualms about branding him with a sigil, a death sentence on the day of unity.

Speaking of that—

King's Tide, & the curious case of Belos' Manipulation

King's Tide gives us two interesting scenes with Belos attempting to manipulate Luz, then Hunter. Both give a surprising insight into his mentality towards both characters.

Hunter, why are you hurting me? I only wanted to help you!

when trying to elicit hunter's help, belos is very much focused on that emotional relationship he cultivated in order to manipulate hunter. Why are you hurting ME. I only wanted to help YOU. but there's no further depth to it. Its a purely emotional attack. Contrast that both with his earlier scene with Luz, and what occurs in Watching and Dreaming.

And despite our differences, I want to help you, Luz. I can send you home. I have just enough Titan Blood for one more trip. Please. I don't want to see another human life destroyed by this place.

While Belos certainly isn't above using emotional attacks to weaken Luz's resolve—playing on her fears of being complicit in his crime, comparing his self afflicted monsterous form to Eda's curse, he also tries to connect with her on a logical level (at least from his point of view).

When he calls Hunter to stop fighting, it's purely because he knows he can eliminate a percieved threat by playing on his weakness—when he calls Luz to stop, it's because he wants to work with her.

You did do something good. I thought this one was another lost cause. Because of you, we can finish our work as witch-hunters, starting with them!

This exchange from Thanks to Them really encapsulates it all. Hunter is a tool for Belos to use, while Luz... I think the ambiguity in "we" in the above quote is purposeful. At face value, it's we as Belos possessing Hunter, an extension of Caleb—him and his brother together again. But he's addressing Luz, thanking Luz, and I don't think that's necessarily because Belos sees himself in Luz. A wayward human who needs guidance back from the clutches of humans... he sees Caleb in her.

Luz & Hunter, two sides of a Caleb coin

I think the two of them are both supposed to represent different facets of Caleb. They're the two characters who are deeply harmed by his manipulation, and both represent the ways in which Belos views his brother. A lost soul to be saved, family to be controlled; Someone who's loyalty must be maintained by emotional abuse and manipulation.

And I think the show becomes stronger when you look at it through this lens, instead of the forced "they're like siblings so they must be like these other siblings" comparison partially born out of Luz's insecurity.

#dove rambles #dove does analysis #the owl house #toh #toh spoilers #hunter toh #luz noceda #philip wittebane

[diabolicalcunt]

I feel the need to pin this cause I’ve always been notorious for people loving me when they first meet me, and then finding out that my political views are not extremely liberal. So here’s all the reasons you will hate me once you get to know me. Or not. I honestly don’t care I’m just sick of the ‘You aren’t who I made you out be in my head!’ conversations.

So my unpopular opinions in no order-

1. They/them is something that’s being encouraged by big brother to see yourself as non or less human.

2. DID isn’t real and you just disassociate a specific way. I look like I’ve been drugged cause I fall down ‘inside’ myself like a well and have no reaction time and can barely speak. I’m like a sloth. You pretend to be a anime character. It’s just coping.

3. The concept of trans genocide is fear mongering by big brother and means to keep boundaries between social groups.

4. To build off 3, the push to medically transition underage children is a move by big pharmaceutical companies to create a permanent customer. Because whether you decide to stay transitioned or de transition, you’re going to be on medication for the rest of your life whether you like it or not. There’s also the whole issue with child exploitation. You’ll be judgmental against Dance Moms, but you won’t say anything about a mom who transitioned her child when they were two years old and made them a social media star.

5. Trans men and women who have been charged with a crime belong in LGBT prison wings. Because we have created a culture where male rapists can put on its dress and be rewarded with a permanent stay in the hen house where they can victimize more women and the system will just cry transphobia and call the victims liars. You got a problem with that? I have never seen a trans man pushing to get put in men’s prison. I wonder why… 😐

6. Blair White is queen.

7. I will fight Henry Cavill on sight. I don’t give a shit how bad you want motorboat him. He’s a fucking pedophile.

8. Same goes for David Bowie. When I get to the afterlife I’m gonna make him wish he could die again. Ask me if you want my full on sight list. 😂

9. I stand with Palestine. Yes I think Islam is a horrible religion that is anti woman. I still don’t think kids should die for the grievances of adults and I think it’s fucked up Israel is doing the same shit Nazis did to them and expect us to nod and smile!

10. Qu**r is just as much of a slur as f*g*t or n*gg*r. I don’t use it and if you do I will block you no questions asked. Say gay! Say lesbian! Say…bisexual! 😱

11. Butch women are valid as fuck and I adore y’all . They aren’t trans men, fuck your lesbian phobia.

12. To build off 11, the new LGBT movement has been infected by woke homophobia and the new trans movement is nothing but conversion therapy in a mask.

13 . Radical feminists are women’s last hope.

14. Marvel movies always sucked, we were just kids and ate up the pretty colors.

15. Dune is a white male savior story.

16. Your fave is not autistic, trans, gay or whatever. You just need validation cause you have no confidence.

17. The Boys should have never cast Jensen Ackles and the Supernatural fandom needs psychological help.

18. Too many of y’all try to primp and posture as the gods of your fandom and yes I say that as someone who did the same and stepped away when I realized how cringe I was. Lording over autistic adults and actual children is pathetic. Get therapy and a real hobby.

19. While gender neutral fanfiction has its place. The trend that all fanfiction needs to be gender neutral is literally killing the creativity and frankly the spice to fanfiction. I hate this trend where piece of media needs to be sterilized so it can be consumed by anyone, even people just passing by. It goes against the concept of creating at its core. Sometimes things are made for specific groups. Sometimes it’s made just for you. The things you create do not need to be sanitized to the point there’s no substance, just a hollow consumption. Think of it this way. Would you rather have a hot pizza of your preference or would you prefer to just drink a bowl of water because someone on the other side of the world might not like pizza?

20. The WWE Divas belt was iconic. I get the whole take women wrestlers seriously movement and I agree! But god damn it, it’s a Bratz belt!!! Gimme!!!!!

21. I fucking HATE koalas. They literally only exist because humans have dumped millions of dollars and keeping them alive. If natural selection were allowed to take his course, they would’ve died off 100 years ago. The food they consume has so little nutrition that they have evolved to have the smallest brain to cranium capacity of any animal to create a built in helmet!! Why? Cause they are so stupid they literally fall out of trees and drop their infants!!! They shit on their young and have permanent diarrhea due to the 0 nutrition thing. They carry chlamydia. They’re so fucking stupid they can’t fuck and have to be artificially inseminated to continue the population. If I couldn’t get laid on my own, the government would not drop millions of dollars into making sure I do!! So why did koalas get it? Literally a waste of resources that could be going to feed thousands of hungry children and instead we’re keeping a fucking retarded (I’m on the spectrum fuck you) animal alive who should have gone extinct hundreds of years ago cause it’s supposedly ‘cute’!! God! I hate koalas!

#get to know me #unpopular opinion

[inksandpensblog]

What's the gladiator au?

An Animator vs Animation AU that won’t be seeing the light of day in fic form anytime soon for numerous reasons, the easiest of which to talk about being that the scope of the project grew to outstrip my capabilities at the time and now my focus is on other projects that I'd like to complete before attempting to tackle this one again, if ever.

(It's also what I'm referencing in this post. I wonder how many people a day reblog that post without knowing it's me vagueing myself about an AvA AU.)

But it was the first AU I ever came up with for this series, and I did get the first arc roughly plotted out! It would go something like this:

The plot kicks off when Orange and Alan discover that a weakened, post-Showdown Chosen has been captured (by sticks with a bone to pick about his and Dark’s rampages, though Alan and the color gang don’t know this at the time) and is being held at a "gladiator ring" or "arena" on a special-access server or website, run by human mods and admins but catering to spectators both stick and human.

Chosen is the arena's “special feature,” forced to fight in grudge matches against sticks seeking vengeance for what he and Dark did. To this end, a large screen over the ring where he fights is constantly displaying footage of Chosen and Dark destroying various stick-populated spaces. (This was before I realized that Chosen and Dark are never seen destroying stick-cities, only web pages...some of which happened to be populated almost exclusively by sticks). Nobody knows about The Showdown except the people involved in it. Nobody knows who created Chosen or Dark.

The arena keeps Chosen under control using these remote-controlled cuffs, which can do many things, including: electrocute him, force him into ragdoll-mode, control the potency of his various powers on a scale (some sticks actually want a real fight and aren't just there to beat up a muppet), and turn his powers off altogether (yes this is different from just scaling them down all the way; it's like the difference between lowering your volume to zero and just pressing the mute button).

The color gang call Purple in to help them plan a rescue, since he has familiarity with these gladiator spaces (I changed the backstory I had planned for him in this AU after AvM29 aired, so the one fic I actually have posted for this AU has been retconned, but Purple having familiarity with gladiator rings is maintained). This culminates in Yellow opening a backdoor into the arena so that Orange can sneak in as a spectator to rescue Chosen, with Green going along to keep lookout. Orange makes Green promise that if anything goes wrong, she won’t wait up for him and will retreat through the backdoor first. Green has every intention of keeping this promise.

Before the rescue is launched, Purple takes the quartet aside and tells them that there might be other sentient sticks held prisoner by the arena, and…not to tell Orange. Because he suspects that Orange would lose focus on rescuing Chosen in an attempt to rescue everybody. Purple tells them this because many arenas are supposed to be underground, and if they get discovered, there’s a very real risk that the humans will cut their losses and just delete the whole thing. Sticks or no sticks. So Orange needs to carry out this rescue as quickly and subtly as possible, no deviations.

Orange eventually locates the ring where Chosen’s grudge matches are held, and learns of Chosen's and Dark's past for the first time as he catches sight of the destruction footage. He feels conflicted about this new knowledge; finding out that the guy who saved the lives of you and your friends was once a bad dude and was once partners-in-crime with the bad dude who murdered you is pretty shocking. But Orange puts his feelings aside for the moment, rallying when he realizes that this info gives him an opportunity to get close enough to Chosen that he'll be able to grab the guy and get him outta there.

So Orange proclaims that he wants a grudge match against Chosen, showing off his scars from the Showdown as evidence of his grievance. All the other spectators that Orange interacts with have been absolutely charmed by him since his arrival (while Orange just hates every moment he spends there), so this ploy works and soon enough he’s down in the ring with Chosen. As the match goes on, Orange makes noise about wanting “a real fight,” so whoever controls the cuffs begins slowly allowing Chosen’s powers to scale up.

This goes great until Orange realizes that Chosen doesn’t know how to hold back in a fight. (Orange assumes that Chosen, having recognized Orange, has realized that this is a rescue effort. Chosen has not realized that this is a rescue effort.)

Before Orange can get punched in the nose, though, Alan enacts phase two of the rescue by…striking for copyright over Chosen. This sends an alert to the cuffs, which immediately force Chosen into ragdoll mode (literally as he’s about to punch Orange in the nose, for maximum drama), and fights across the entire arena screech to a halt as everyone realizes that an outsider has located their little operation. Orange picks Chosen up and the two make their getaway while everyone's too busy disputing the copyright claim to notice, meeting up with Green and fooling a staff member into disabling Chosen’s ragdoll-mode on the way to Yellow’s backdoor.

On their way out though, the arena catches on. The human mods discover Yellow’s communication channel and begin interfering with it, cutting off all remote contact between the color gang. It becomes a physical battle as stickfigure staff and a few of the spectators begin trying to apprehend them, and Green gets separated from Orange and Chosen.

There’s a pause in the fight when a human mod tries to end Orange’s task and all it does is make Orange angry. Chosen takes this opportunity to grab Orange and launch them towards Yellow’s backdoor. They’re almost there when whoever is controlling the cuffs toggles Chosen’s powers off altogether and starts tasering Chosen into oblivion as a last-ditch effort to stop the two from leaving, but by that point they’re close enough to the backdoor that Orange can grab Chosen and drag him through. He shuts the door and it locks behind them. Chosen is dealing with Showdown-levels of exhaustion by this point, so Orange piggybacks him to the PC, unknowingly leaving Green behind since she was unable to fulfill her promise of going through the door before him.

So ends the first arc!

After this point the AU becomes a lot less solid ideas of what will happen and a lot more vague ideas of what I want to happen. I discovered the hard way while trying to plot it out that I'm not very good at juggling multiple concurrent character arcs, especially if the characters in question aren't interacting regularly with each other. I'm also not very good at judging how much time certain plot developments should take, which left me in an awkward position as far as puzzle-piecing everyone's character growth and plot progression together into a neat chronological line.

There's also the fact that...I couldn't figure out what goals certain characters were supposed to have, after this first arc, which made it hard to write for them in any way that would advance the story instead of just dragging it along. Plus there were certain worldbuilding aspects that I...wasn't really savvy enough to try integrating into a story because I had trouble understanding them on a base level myself. A lot of it was having trouble figuring out where to start, or not knowing what info I even needed to begin working.

So yeah, this AU is on the backburner for the forseeable future.

If you have any questions about it though, I'd love to share some development notes! Feel free to ask me if you're interested.

#animator vs animation #avm shorts #ava enthusiasts #gladiator au #might put the plot summary on ao3 #if anemonic can do it then I can too XD

[rokhal]

Eli Morrow is a dumbass

Can’t remember if I already did a meta on this, but while Eli is a serious intellectual threat in All-New Ghost Rider, his opponents are two teenaged boys, one of whom is intellectually disabled. It’s like that tiktok where the guy brags about sueing a nine-year-old and winning.

Here is Robbie’s first fight against an opponent who is an equal threat to the Ghost Rider. Eli encourages Robbie to charge at Grumpy head-on, and Grumpy promptly kicks them ass-over-teakettle.

Robbie asks Eli for help as he grapples with Grumpy, but all Eli gives him are platitudes (”Don’t play his games, Robbie!”) and unhelpful analysis (”Sonofabitch is too strong”). When Robbie summons the car to slam Grumpy away, Eli cheers him on, distracting Robbie from how useless Eli’s contributions so far have been.

See, it wasn’t that he had no idea what to do or what their actual powers and limits were, it’s that he was just waiting for Robbie to figure the answer out himself! Just like Master Reigen does for Mob

Eli doesn’t really know how much trouble he and Robbie are in, but he doesn’t want Robbie to back away from the fight. The practical reason for them to fight Grumpy is to eliminate the Charger’s legal owner by getting Robbie to kill him in self-defense, which doesn’t work because they lose. The encounter is also an opportunity for Eli to test-drive their powers and get a feel for how to subvert Robbie’s control. Eli doesn’t know how strong they are, and he doesn’t know everything they can do. He throws Robbie unprepared into a fight that he doesn’t know they can win, giving Grumpy a good look and feel for them, and potentially putting them at a disadvantage in a future rematch (which luckily for them, never happens).

tl;dr Eli doesn’t know exactly how his and Robbie’s powers work and he prefers to push Robbie into fights so he can see what happens and avoid  admitting his own ignorance.

So, Eli is new to this whole possessing-a-human-revenant-car-fire-demon-guy thing. Understandable. We haven’t even gotten to the real dumbassery: hunting down Yegor Ivanov.

If you want to know who someone is, look at their friends. Not just who their friends are, but how their friends treat them. Yegor Ivanov treats Eli like a stooge.

Eli’s initial attack on Yegor’s club was...impulsive, but in his defense, he didn’t know how much or how little time he had in control of Robbie’s body, since Robbie passed out in gym class. Could be a year, could be a couple hours. He bet on it being all night, and if it weren’t for Johnny Blaze’s intervention, it would have been all night, and Yegor Ivanov would be dead. But Johnny Blaze did intervene. The next time he and Robbie switched, Robbie started off conscious, and quickly began to surface again. Robbie proved able to grab control of their hand at inconvenient moments.

OK, this is a bad setup for Eli. Yegor did not know this. Eli did and carried on anyway. Whatever. Yegor’s super sophisticated crime-kingpin plan to lure Eli into a trap was to call him on his phone and invite him.

Does. Does Eli think he’s going to get the jump on Yegor here?

Heehee! My buddy Yegor who ratted me out to the cops thinks he’s gonna hire me for a job like old times! Even though I already announced myself by name and told him I was going to kill him and demonstrated all my demonic powers!

Surely, Yegor is calling me because he has a job, not because he has prepared countermeasures for my supernatural nature. He will be so surprised when I shank him!

Or, alternatively, he might know this is a trap and figure that he’ll just improvise his way out of it. Which would be excusable, except for the fact that Robbie is awake and fighting him for control by the time he actually leaves the house.

Yeah, that looks just like what you want to have happen when you’re riding a concussed teenager to a mob meet and you don’t even have a gun. To suddenly lose control of your weapon arm just when you’re about to get revenge on your hated enemy.

Eli shows up at the agreed-upon meeting-place, without negotiating for a more favorable spot or a two-hour delay to knock over a gun store or anything. You could hide an entire army of super-powered teenagers in that warehouse.

He shows up alone to a one-on-one with his “old friend,” who is by now a very important person in the local crime scene. Yegor probably never shows up alone anywhere. This should be incredibly suspicious. Eli’s confident enough in his own powers to believe he’ll just fireball his way out of a few armed goons, but by this time, he knows that Yegor knows what he can do!

And Eli’s not at his best right now. Remember, Robbie is also awake!

WHAT DID HE THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN??????

Anyway. Yegor Ivanov, the guy who knew Eli best while he’d been alive, asked Calvin Zabo to help spring the most obvious, low-effort trap possible to eliminate him. And Eli walked right into it. (See: army of super-powered teenagers.)

Did. Did Eli think they were actually friends or something? Did he think Yegor had a soft spot for him for old time’s sake that Eli could exploit???? I mean???

In conclusion: this is no criminal mastermind.

#all-new ghost rider #meta #my meta #eli morrow #yegor ivanov

[opinated-user]

If Lily were remotely interested in actually combating fandom racism she'd focus on other characters in TOH and not just the white one she hates. If you're complaining about a white guy all the time, that's not progressive, because you're still discussing a white character and making him the center of attention instead of celebrating the stories of POC in the cast.

The only time Lily ever made a video that was start-to-finish praise of any POC was when it was Kuvira, a dictator who ran reeducation camps, created a weapon of mass destruction and threatened to murder everyone who disagreed with her. That was years ago.

It took her ten years to write one black main character.

Until her video on The Princess and the Frog this year, she had never talked about a piece of media focused on black people, even though she claims to be left-leaning. Being willing to watch things centered on black people is such a low bar even most conservatives clear it by accident.

In her infamous writing tips thread, she said that you should only have one cishet white character and a really good writer will have only one cis, one het, and one white character. (This rule is ridiculous for large casts, but I will acknowledge for the core main cast it's a perfectly applicable idea.) She has never written anything that doesn't have a majority white cast. Regularly her writing writes out existing POC rather than center them.

She claims to be Native not even based on blood quantum, a practice the Cherokee people and many others do not believe in, but based upon having thick black hair. She isn't recognized by the tribe. She does not educate anyone on anything pertaining to indigenous issues and didn't even mention Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women until she talked about how if she was murdered she'd be one of them. She has never written a Native character or talked about Native characters in media.

When movies that have a majority black cast come out, she disses on them.

When anything is made by Asians, she will dismiss it, not acknowledge that different Asian cultures exist, and center whiteness (such as only ever talking about Raya and the Last Dragon in terms of Lindsay Ellis, a white woman (who she then straightwashes on top of centering)).

When a POC such as Luz is anything other than cheerful and joyous, they are, to her, totally devoid of worth and ridiculous.

If Hunter were black Lily would focus on Amity instead, because she always, always devalues POC and redirects her attention onto a white person. When she made a black OC, it was in order to beat up some white people, romance a white person, and adopt white kids. She cannot, under any circumstances, create anything that focuses entirely on POC with the sole exception of focusing on a light-skinned WOC dictator whose war crimes and crimes against humanity she not only excused but viewed as cool.

She does not fight fandom racism.

She partakes in and upholds it.

Even if her fans can convince themselves all the people she's abused are liars, even if they're not aware of her past, I genuinely do not know how anyone can look at her work and not see how blatantly racist this woman is. Her only black characters are all tied to slavery, with white characters being the victims of slavery and black people benefiting. I grew up in a racist family and I am doing a lot of work to deprogram myself. It's not easy and I have a lot I haven't learned. But even I, even as a preteen writing stories, never wrote something that messed up, because it simply never would have crossed my mind to reverse victim and offender in the context of slavery.

Watching Stitch is her "I have a black content creator I watch/friend" moment the way many people in fandom/the real world use that as their get-out-racism-accusations-free card, but it's insufficient.

If she doesn't want to be seen as racist she needs to stop being so blatantly racist. It's not hard.

but it's hard for her, because that means admitting that she needs to do work on herself to get ride of all the biases she has and she alreay barely puts any work on her channel.

#lily orchard

[cherry-poppins]

The Things You Do In The Name Of Love (Classic!Sans x Reader)

The Things you do in the name of love, it makes us, it breaks us, but it'll save us. Careful before you say it, as it known with different names and come in different forms.

The atmosphere was filled with the smell of coffee grounds and the screams of freshly steamed milk. Conversations mixing together like sugar put in hot tea as light music played in the background. Eyeing Fresh pastry that winked back, almost begging you to buy them as you go to pay for your lunch.

"Woah there bucko, don't be so fast to pull out your wallet, Lunch is on me today." A grinning skeleton spoke, bringing out his wallet as he handed the cashier the money.

"Sans!!! Not again, seriously this is like the third meal you've bought me this week, you can't keep doing this to me i swear you’re gonna go bankrupted." I sighed before my face heated up as I quickly added. "I mean, It’s not that I'm not grateful or anything!!! Which I am very grateful for, thank you so much but you seriously don't have to."

"What? Is paying for another friend's food is wrong! Are you gonna look at me and tell me that it's wrong?!" He joked, grinning like the complete idiot he was while leaning against the countertop as we both waited for our food.

"Pft. No, it's not that. I just feel like ur spoiling me, not everyone gets this kinda treatment u know" I sighed, leaning next to him.

Sans waved me off. “Eh I know but seeing that look on ur face makes it worth it every time. Besides can’t I treat my best friend to lunch? Is that such a crime” He chuckled before ruffling my head like some child.

“Saaannnss, bugger off.” I whine, smacking his hands away. “It is a crime when someone does it as often as you do”

“Welp then arrest me with hand cuff and call me a criminal because I ain’t stoppin’ anytime soon” He joked, holding out his hands together.

You quickly snap a picture, instantly sending it to your favorite fish lady. “I’m sure Undyne would love a good excuse to shove you in a cell” You giggle, trying to look as though you are being serious…. It fails.

Staring at each other for what felt like 5 minutes we both break character and surrender into a fit of laughter, trying our absolute best to stay quite as to not disturb the people and monsters around us.

Containing the last of my giggles trying to calm myself down. I observe the rest of the café feelings slightly nostalgic. “Stars I swear how did I keep you around this long?” I ask, thinking back to the first time we had met.

-Flashback-

Sans and I have been best friends for nearly a year and a half. It wasn't always this delightful, at first, he hated my entire being, couldn't stand me. We met at this cute café that I loved so much, I'd go there every weekend for a treat or to study. I remember it was a Saturday, midday, I was walking down the street joyfully looking forward to my (f/f) iced frappe while I scrolled through Monstergram, perhaps read a couple of fanfics in Wattpad, or i could've been a complete basic white Girl and had a photo shoot with my frappe. The possibilities are endless!

As I hummed a happy tune, opening the door to the café I bumped straight into- a skeleton?!

"Oh my Stars I'm so sorry, s-sir? I wasn't looking where I was-" I was them interrupted by the strange skeleton man, face full of disgust and spite. "You should really watch were you’re going. You have eyes for a reason, use them" said spat. That one way to ruin someone's day. I took a deep breath trying to regain my calm, not wanting to cause a scene. "As I said before I'm terribly sorry, I meant no harm-" I was interrupted again by his sarcastic tone of voice

"Course ya didn't, humans never mean these kinds of things. Tch just an excuse to abuse us monsters, perhaps provoke us so we might go "feral.” Oh, you'd like that wouldn't ya. Give you a reason to call the police on us because we were trying to "kill" you. Real nice"

Was he for real, was this actually happening? "Look Sir I don't wanna cause any trouble, I'm just a nice citizen of the terrible human race trying to get her daily espresso. So why don't we shake on it and become friends instead?" I held out my hand with a smile on my face.

"Pathetic. As if I'd fall for that dirty human, you really think I'd want to be friends with a greedy, racist creature who drowns her problems with caffeine? You're dumber than ya look" Sans said.

Ok that's it, I've been disrespected before, but this was crossing the line. And how dare he call me out for my semi-coffee addiction. "What’s your problem Mr? I've been extremely kind towards you considering that you're verbally abusing me for no good reason. Like seriously I accidentally bumped into, I'm sorry for getting into your "personal space". What did I ever do to you?! Yeah, I get that us humans are a bunch of assbutts but take this in consideration, not all humans are. And a lil FYI bucko, I attend every monster freedom protest so I can help fight for your rights and equality. So next time you decide to be a prick because someone accidentally bumped into you then maybe instead of opening your judgmental mouth think for two seconds because maybe that person is fighting so you can have a better future!!!" I ranted, my eyes widening at the sight of the skeleton. His eye lights had shrunken and was sweating badly- Wait skeletons can sweat?!

"I-I... I'm sorry for my b-behaviour miss.... uh, I'll be on my way n-now..." he stuttered, a blue hue covering his cheeks. They can blush too!? Before I could question him, he disappeared into thin air.

I blinked a couple of times, my eyes staring at the spot where the strange skeleton once was. So, they can disappear- uh, teleport? Welp my day just got more interesting.

A week went by, and I was back at my fav cafe, sippin' on my latte, listening to music while I studied. I could hear the faint sounds of people chattering, the coffee maker running and the slight jingle of the bell that rings when someone enters. 10 minutes later I hear yet another jingle, ignoring it like always. But then I heard a familiar voice which caught my attention. I tilted my book down slightly, just enough to let me see whom the familiar voice belonged to, and the sight shocked me. It was that strange skeleton I had met last week. Why was he here? Did he come here often? Did he like to come here on weekends for coffee too?

Shaking my head to silence my questions building up inside my head, i watching him from the corner of my eye, hiding myself behind one of my textbooks. Should... should i say hello?? I kinda raged at him last week, wasn't the best first impression. I sigh, slouching in my chair. What’s the worst that could happen. Putting my book down on the table, pausing my music as i take of my headphones. With every bit of confidence that i managed to conjure i got up from my seat and walk over to the skeleton man.

He just finished ordering, well whatever he ordered and was slouching by the pickup counter flipping through his phone. Great now’s my chance. I stood in front of him, wondering if this was a good idea. "Eh, excuse me.... Mr skeleton guy?" I shyly called, thinking that I probably looked like the biggest idiot in the world.

He gaze shifted from his phone to me, his pupils shrinking at the sight of me. yep, he remembered me. Slipping his phone back into his pocket, straightening himself up before cautiously speaking. "Oh, it you. geez, uh look kid i don't want any trouble. What i said before- i just, I’m sorry. It's just that-"

"Oh no, no, no. It's fine really. This isn't the first time i had to deal with this sorta stuff, it happens all the time. Besides, I understand." I cut him off, ensuring him. "I mean what you did wasn't acceptable at all, but everyone deserves a second chance, right?" I smiled at the skeleton who was now bewildered, the same blue hue that he had the other week weakly flushed against his cheekbones. It was kinda cute not gonna lie.

"Heh, I guess people do... hey uh, would you mind if I sat down with you for coffee?" He asked, rubbing the back of his skull, barely making eye contact. Ok but like he was cute. give this dude a hug. "I'd love that! Oh, wait i haven't told you my name! Gosh I’m such a dummy..." i exclaimed, mumbling the last part feeling my cheeks heat up. I confidently hold out my hand, giving him a soft smile. "I-I'm (Y/N)"

The skeletons eye lights widened, looking down at my hand back up to my eyes. He seemed hesitant at first but finally eased up, taking his hand out of his hoodie pocket wrapping his phalanges around my hand. I didn't know what to expect, the skeleton's hand was warm and had the texture kinda like a pebble. It’s like if you left a nice stone outside in the sun on a beautiful day, the stone absorbing the suns warmth.

"The name's Sans, Sans the skeleton"

-Flashback End-

“Cause you couldn’t resist me” Sans “batted” his eyes, sticking his tongue out. “You figured out I was a hilarious, pun filled, skeleton with a lot of money and a cool brother so decided to jump of that bandwagon and now here we are”

You scoffed “Oh yeah that’s definitely how that happened, you figured me out Sherlock Holmes” You mocked sarcastically.

He chuckles at your attempt of humour. “Heh nice, Oooo does that mean you’ll be my Watson??” He asks

“Ha, yeah alright. Well now I know what our costumes are for this Halloween” I reply, thinking who our Moriarty would be.

“Saves me for being a ghost for the third year in a row, and this is why your my favourite human” he grins, a light blue bluish dusting his cheeks.

Pink instantly dusted my cheeks as I feel my face getting warms. Damn that smooth talker, he always knew how to get you flustered. "Favourite human? Come on, I can't be your favourite. There's probably a million other humans you hang out with, not to mention all the pretty girl that'd most likely fawn over you" I teased, smirking at him. "Besides when did ever become yours~"

"Um since you gave me that box filled with 32 bottles of ketchup for Christmas, duh." He joked. "But seriously, kid you're one of the only human girls I actually talk to and that'll talk to me. I mean there's Frisk but their non-binary, so they doesn't count. and yeah, I hang out with some pretty girls but none of them "fawn" over me, Stars above. Well, I guess one pretty girl does" Sans mumbled the last part, looking off into the cafe.

My grin faulted for a second. So, there was another girl? Oh.... I sigh, quickly shaking away the feeling. Come on (Y/N), you're better than this. Hiding my sadness and disappointment with a smile, I ask about this girl. "Sans have you been hiding out on me?! Come on who is she, what's she like?" I let out a giggle as i felt my heart shatter into millions of tiny pieces.

I felt my soul being crushed just like my hopes, it was always a suspension that he was interested in someone. You had just hoped that someone would be you. You two had always joked around, teased, and flirted with each other and gone out together but as friends. It wasn’t like you weren’t giving him hints, it’s like you were holding up a sign with “IM INTERESTED’ printed on it in red.

As long as he's happy, that’s all that matters. You say to yourself, the least you could have is his friendship.

"Meh, not telling." He said with the smuggest of grins. Oh, that bastard, he hasn't got the slightest idea on what he's doing to me...

"What!? Oh, come on that's not fair, you can't just mention this mystery girl and then not say anything about it" I pouted.

"Heh what? You jealous or something kid~?" He chuckled, raising his non-existing eyebrow and he gave me dat grin. Come on we all know what that looks like.

My face heated up instantly, my cheeks dusted red. "Jealous?! Of what, the apparently pretty girl that fawns over you and most likely has a crush on you and you like her back. W-why on earth would I be jealous of that...." I rant basically outing myself as I mentally curse as myself. F*ck... do you think he noticed?!

"Oh my gosh I was kidding (Y/N), no need to get all flustered about it. Though you're right about me having a crush on her" He smiled softly, his gaze sorta in a daze.

"Oh.... is that so" My face dropped slowly. T-this is fine... I've been rejected before.... This....This...is.... fine...

"Yeah, she pretty, real smart, funny too like i swear she could beat me at puns, the student becomes the master. Heh, I’ve known her since forever. Not too long after i came to the surface. Though my problem is that I'm not sure if she likes me back. Got any advice, kid?" He turned his head to me as he waited for an answer.

Was he serious? Was he really that dense? Could he not see the tears that threaten to flow from my eyes, could he not tell that I was breaking, that he was shattering my soul, tearing apart my heart and crushing my hopes and dreams. It hurt so much, and he has the audacity to ask- You know what it doesn't matter anymore, he likes another. Best thing you can do is be there and support him as a.... friend. Because that's all I'll ever be to him. "Y-yeah I can give you some advice, anything for a friend... Umm, well for a start you should tell her how you feel, perhaps through I'm a few hints here and there, look for hints uhm.... Oh, maybe ask someone to causally ask her if she does like you?" I felt the tears about to spill, losing my two-face game- no! Do not break down, not here, not now. I don't want him to see me like this.

"Huh, great advice. Might try a couple of them some time- Uh hey k-kid you alright, you look like you're bout cry ya eyes out... have I upset you?" He turned his full attention to me, leaning up from the countertop. His hand gently held my shoulders, his gaze filled with worry.

Lie.

I sniffed a bit, blinking a bunch to contain my tears "Y-yeah I'm alright *sniff* i have hay fever, damn must be that time of year already" I Chuckled, faking another smile.

He sighed, giving me the classic serious Sans look. "Don't lie to me (Y/N), I know somethings up. We've been friends for what? 3 and a half years now?" "Y-yeah..." My gazes falls, not wanting to look into his eyes.

"And friends don't lie to each other, nor do they keep stuff from each other especially if it leads to the friend about cry their eyes out." He hooked one of his phalanges under my chin, lifting it up so I'd face him. Not gonna lie it was hot, but it sadly wasn't the time for that. "Come on kid, what's wrong?" He asked softly

I can't... "It's just... heh didn't think a lazy bone head like you could get the girls" I nudged him a bit, bursting into laughter.

His face was covered in a blue hue, blushing. He let a chuckle, releasing my chin. "Harsh but fair Kiddo. but come on stop avoiding the topic-"

"Aren't I too old for that nickname now Sans? You've been calling me kid and kiddo for as long as i can remember" I force a giggle, hoping to throw him off.

He gave me a "really" look, shaking his head slightly as he sighed. the it was his turn to plaster on a smile. "What, it suits you~ And you do tend to act like a child from time to time." Sans teased. Oh, I acted like a child from time to time?! You should see him when we run out of ketchup. Toddler 100.

I shook my head, chuckling a bit. "Whatever you say bonehead" Before he could say anything else our names were called out, our meals ready.

-Time Skip-

We ate our meals without bringing up my sudden breakdown. Well near breakdown. We joked about, laughing about the latest memes and stupid videos YouTube provided. After we ate, we wandered through the city. It was late, the stars lighting up the sky mixed with the bright lights of the city. Arm wrapped around my neck and laughter in the air we finally stopped at a small park. It was one of my favourite places in the city, and the best part was at night they lit lanterns which illuminated the whole part. It was truly a sight to see. We sit down on a nearby chair, his arm still around me. Don't flatter yourself (Y/N) ... He likes someone else, remember.

"Hey kid... You know why i would never play hide 'n' seek with you?" Sans asks, his gaze turned towards me.

Now that caught my attention... And left me with like several questions. "W-what? Heh, why?" I replied, generally confused. Was this meant to be one of his famous Sans jokes that has a weird pun mixed in with it??

"Because someone like you is impossible to find..." He softly spoke, his free hand reaching up to cup my face running his thumb along my cheek. A faint blue blush dusted his face.

WHAT?!?!? My face was heated up furiously, blushing red. My heart was beating wildly as it threatened to burst out of my rib cage. Was he flirting?? Gosh it was so cute but cheesy at the same time... But he liked someone else.... R-right? "S-sans, I'm confus-" before i could finished his thumb swiftly found my lips, hushing me. He lingered there for a second, brushing his thumb along my bottom lip. God it was hot.

"Roses are red violets are blue I didn't know what perfect was until I met you" He leant in close his face inches away from mine, his thumb leaving my lips. His blush was more visible now, glowing a soft blue.

I didn't know what to say, how to react, or how to feel. He left me completely speechless and a blushing mess. And he did this with shitty pick-up lines that you'd find on the internet or hear on a tinder date. Damn he was good.

"(Y/N) ..." The arm that was originally around my neck had now shifted so that his hand was cupping the other side of my face, the other hand now at my waist. He then shifted himself so that he was now next to my ear, his breath against my neck. "Your lips look lonely would they like to meet mine?" His whispered softly, his lips.... mouth... teeth?? brushing against my ear.

My face was now lava, my head spinning with millions of questions and even more feelings. before i even had the time to say anything or even react he kissed me. and it was no peck on the lips, he full on kissed me. And how was he so good at it?! He's a damn skeleton?! But i couldn't lie, I enjoyed it. I kissed back, wrapping my hands around his neck. Few seconds later we pull away, his forehead pressed against mine.

"What am i going to do with you" He muttered as he put back a lose strand of hair behind my ear. "The girl was you; it was always you. (Y/N) I’ve loved you for as long as i could remember, you've always been there for me. I'm not so good with expressing my emotions with people... everyone but you."

My eyes widened as my heart swelled with joy. H-he did like me. Holy sh*t was I that dense, Was i the oblivious one?! Stars above. I mentally slapped myself, embarrassed how i pulled a Sans. 

"I understand if you reject me, after what happened earlier... I will admit it was a d*ck move. but I swear I meant no harm; I didn't mean to hurt you." His thumb gently rubbed against my cheek. "I love you"

He wasn't kidding... He wasn't kidding!!! "You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this" I smile brightly, my eyes threatening to cry again. I sniff, wiping my eyes with my sleeve. " I love you too, Sans. And i always will"

The Things you do in the name of love, it makes us, it breaks us, but it'll save us. Careful before you say it, as it known with different names and come in different forms.

The atmosphere was filled with the smell of coffee grounds and the screams of freshly steamed milk. Conversations mixing together like sugar put in hot tea as light music played in the background. Eyeing Fresh pastry that winked back, almost begging you to buy them as you go to pay for your lunch.

"Woah there bucko, don't be so fast to pull out your wallet, Lunch is on me today." A grinning skeleton spoke, bringing out his wallet as he handed the cashier the money.

"Sans!!! Not again, seriously this is like the third meal you've bought me this week, you can't keep doing this to me i swear you’re gonna go bankrupted." I sighed before my face heated up as I quickly added. "I mean, It’s not that I'm not grateful or anything!!! Which I am very grateful for, thank you so much but you seriously don't have to."

"What? Is paying for another friend's food is wrong! Are you gonna look at me and tell me that it's wrong?!" He joked, grinning like the complete idiot he was while leaning against the countertop as we both waited for our food.

"Pft. No, it's not that. I just feel like ur spoiling me, not everyone gets this kinda treatment u know" I sighed, leaning next to him.

Sans waved me off. “Eh I know but seeing that look on ur face makes it worth it every time. Besides can’t I treat my best friend to lunch? Is that such a crime” He chuckled before ruffling my head like some child.

“Saaannnss, bugger off.” I whine, smacking his hands away. “It is a crime when someone does it as often as you do”

“Welp then arrest me with hand cuff and call me a criminal because I ain’t stoppin’ anytime soon” He joked, holding out his hands together.

You quickly snap a picture, instantly sending it to your favorite fish lady. “I’m sure Undyne would love a good excuse to shove you in a cell” You giggle, trying to look as though you are being serious…. It fails.

Staring at each other for what felt like 5 minutes we both break character and surrender into a fit of laughter, trying our absolute best to stay quite as to not disturb the people and monsters around us.

Containing the last of my giggles trying to calm myself down. I observe the rest of the café feelings slightly nostalgic. “Stars I swear how did I keep you around this long?” I ask, thinking back to the first time we had met.

-Flashback-

Sans and I have been best friends for nearly a year and a half. It wasn't always this delightful, at first, he hated my entire being, couldn't stand me. We met at this cute café that I loved so much, I'd go there every weekend for a treat or to study. I remember it was a Saturday, midday, I was walking down the street joyfully looking forward to my (f/f) iced frappe while I scrolled through Monstergram, perhaps read a couple of fanfics in Wattpad, or i could've been a complete basic white Girl and had a photo shoot with my frappe. The possibilities are endless!

As I hummed a happy tune, opening the door to the café I bumped straight into- a skeleton?!

"Oh my Stars I'm so sorry, s-sir? I wasn't looking where I was-" I was them interrupted by the strange skeleton man, face full of disgust and spite. "You should really watch were you’re going. You have eyes for a reason, use them" said spat. That one way to ruin someone's day. I took a deep breath trying to regain my calm, not wanting to cause a scene. "As I said before I'm terribly sorry, I meant no harm-" I was interrupted again by his sarcastic tone of voice

"Course ya didn't, humans never mean these kinds of things. Tch just an excuse to abuse us monsters, perhaps provoke us so we might go "feral.” Oh, you'd like that wouldn't ya. Give you a reason to call the police on us because we were trying to "kill" you. Real nice"

Was he for real, was this actually happening? "Look Sir I don't wanna cause any trouble, I'm just a nice citizen of the terrible human race trying to get her daily espresso. So why don't we shake on it and become friends instead?" I held out my hand with a smile on my face.

"Pathetic. As if I'd fall for that dirty human, you really think I'd want to be friends with a greedy, racist creature who drowns her problems with caffeine? You're dumber than ya look" Sans said.

Ok that's it, I've been disrespected before, but this was crossing the line. And how dare he call me out for my semi-coffee addiction. "What’s your problem Mr? I've been extremely kind towards you considering that you're verbally abusing me for no good reason. Like seriously I accidentally bumped into, I'm sorry for getting into your "personal space". What did I ever do to you?! Yeah, I get that us humans are a bunch of assbutts but take this in consideration, not all humans are. And a lil FYI bucko, I attend every monster freedom protest so I can help fight for your rights and equality. So next time you decide to be a prick because someone accidentally bumped into you then maybe instead of opening your judgmental mouth think for two seconds because maybe that person is fighting so you can have a better future!!!" I ranted, my eyes widening at the sight of the skeleton. His eye lights had shrunken and was sweating badly- Wait skeletons can sweat?!

"I-I... I'm sorry for my b-behaviour miss.... uh, I'll be on my way n-now..." he stuttered, a blue hue covering his cheeks. They can blush too!? Before I could question him, he disappeared into thin air.

I blinked a couple of times, my eyes staring at the spot where the strange skeleton once was. So, they can disappear- uh, teleport? Welp my day just got more interesting.

A week went by, and I was back at my fav cafe, sippin' on my latte, listening to music while I studied. I could hear the faint sounds of people chattering, the coffee maker running and the slight jingle of the bell that rings when someone enters. 10 minutes later I hear yet another jingle, ignoring it like always. But then I heard a familiar voice which caught my attention. I tilted my book down slightly, just enough to let me see whom the familiar voice belonged to, and the sight shocked me. It was that strange skeleton I had met last week. Why was he here? Did he come here often? Did he like to come here on weekends for coffee too?

Shaking my head to silence my questions building up inside my head, i watching him from the corner of my eye, hiding myself behind one of my textbooks. Should... should i say hello?? I kinda raged at him last week, wasn't the best first impression. I sigh, slouching in my chair. What’s the worst that could happen. Putting my book down on the table, pausing my music as i take of my headphones. With every bit of confidence that i managed to conjure i got up from my seat and walk over to the skeleton man.

He just finished ordering, well whatever he ordered and was slouching by the pickup counter flipping through his phone. Great now’s my chance. I stood in front of him, wondering if this was a good idea. "Eh, excuse me.... Mr skeleton guy?" I shyly called, thinking that I probably looked like the biggest idiot in the world.

He gaze shifted from his phone to me, his pupils shrinking at the sight of me. yep, he remembered me. Slipping his phone back into his pocket, straightening himself up before cautiously speaking. "Oh, it you. geez, uh look kid i don't want any trouble. What i said before- i just, I’m sorry. It's just that-"

"Oh no, no, no. It's fine really. This isn't the first time i had to deal with this sorta stuff, it happens all the time. Besides, I understand." I cut him off, ensuring him. "I mean what you did wasn't acceptable at all, but everyone deserves a second chance, right?" I smiled at the skeleton who was now bewildered, the same blue hue that he had the other week weakly flushed against his cheekbones. It was kinda cute not gonna lie.

"Heh, I guess people do... hey uh, would you mind if I sat down with you for coffee?" He asked, rubbing the back of his skull, barely making eye contact. Ok but like he was cute. give this dude a hug. "I'd love that! Oh, wait i haven't told you my name! Gosh I’m such a dummy..." i exclaimed, mumbling the last part feeling my cheeks heat up. I confidently hold out my hand, giving him a soft smile. "I-I'm (Y/N)"

The skeletons eye lights widened, looking down at my hand back up to my eyes. He seemed hesitant at first but finally eased up, taking his hand out of his hoodie pocket wrapping his phalanges around my hand. I didn't know what to expect, the skeleton's hand was warm and had the texture kinda like a pebble. It’s like if you left a nice stone outside in the sun on a beautiful day, the stone absorbing the suns warmth.

"The name's Sans, Sans the skeleton"

-Flashback End-

“Cause you couldn’t resist me” Sans “batted” his eyes, sticking his tongue out. “You figured out I was a hilarious, pun filled, skeleton with a lot of money and a cool brother so decided to jump of that bandwagon and now here we are”

You scoffed “Oh yeah that’s definitely how that happened, you figured me out Sherlock Holmes” You mocked sarcastically.

He chuckles at your attempt of humour. “Heh nice, Oooo does that mean you’ll be my Watson??” He asks

“Ha, yeah alright. Well now I know what our costumes are for this Halloween” I reply, thinking who our Moriarty would be.

“Saves me for being a ghost for the third year in a row, and this is why your my favourite human” he grins, a light blue bluish dusting his cheeks.

Pink instantly dusted my cheeks as I feel my face getting warms. Damn that smooth talker, he always knew how to get you flustered. "Favourite human? Come on, I can't be your favourite. There's probably a million other humans you hang out with, not to mention all the pretty girl that'd most likely fawn over you" I teased, smirking at him. "Besides when did ever become yours~"

"Um since you gave me that box filled with 32 bottles of ketchup for Christmas, duh." He joked. "But seriously, kid you're one of the only human girls I actually talk to and that'll talk to me. I mean there's Frisk but their non-binary, so they doesn't count. and yeah, I hang out with some pretty girls but none of them "fawn" over me, Stars above. Well, I guess one pretty girl does" Sans mumbled the last part, looking off into the cafe.

My grin faulted for a second. So, there was another girl? Oh.... I sigh, quickly shaking away the feeling. Come on (Y/N), you're better than this. Hiding my sadness and disappointment with a smile, I ask about this girl. "Sans have you been hiding out on me?! Come on who is she, what's she like?" I let out a giggle as i felt my heart shatter into millions of tiny pieces.

I felt my soul being crushed just like my hopes, it was always a suspension that he was interested in someone. You had just hoped that someone would be you. You two had always joked around, teased, and flirted with each other and gone out together but as friends. It wasn’t like you weren’t giving him hints, it’s like you were holding up a sign with “IM INTERESTED’ printed on it in red.

As long as he's happy, that’s all that matters. You say to yourself, the least you could have is his friendship.

"Meh, not telling." He said with the smuggest of grins. Oh, that bastard, he hasn't got the slightest idea on what he's doing to me...

"What!? Oh, come on that's not fair, you can't just mention this mystery girl and then not say anything about it" I pouted.

"Heh what? You jealous or something kid~?" He chuckled, raising his non-existing eyebrow and he gave me dat grin. Come on we all know what that looks like.

My face heated up instantly, my cheeks dusted red. "Jealous?! Of what, the apparently pretty girl that fawns over you and most likely has a crush on you and you like her back. W-why on earth would I be jealous of that...." I rant basically outing myself as I mentally curse as myself. F*ck... do you think he noticed?!

"Oh my gosh I was kidding (Y/N), no need to get all flustered about it. Though you're right about me having a crush on her" He smiled softly, his gaze sorta in a daze.

"Oh.... is that so" My face dropped slowly. T-this is fine... I've been rejected before.... This....This...is.... fine...

"Yeah, she pretty, real smart, funny too like i swear she could beat me at puns, the student becomes the master. Heh, I’ve known her since forever. Not too long after i came to the surface. Though my problem is that I'm not sure if she likes me back. Got any advice, kid?" He turned his head to me as he waited for an answer.

Was he serious? Was he really that dense? Could he not see the tears that threaten to flow from my eyes, could he not tell that I was breaking, that he was shattering my soul, tearing apart my heart and crushing my hopes and dreams. It hurt so much, and he has the audacity to ask- You know what it doesn't matter anymore, he likes another. Best thing you can do is be there and support him as a.... friend. Because that's all I'll ever be to him. "Y-yeah I can give you some advice, anything for a friend... Umm, well for a start you should tell her how you feel, perhaps through I'm a few hints here and there, look for hints uhm.... Oh, maybe ask someone to causally ask her if she does like you?" I felt the tears about to spill, losing my two-face game- no! Do not break down, not here, not now. I don't want him to see me like this.

"Huh, great advice. Might try a couple of them some time- Uh hey k-kid you alright, you look like you're bout cry ya eyes out... have I upset you?" He turned his full attention to me, leaning up from the countertop. His hand gently held my shoulders, his gaze filled with worry.

Lie.

I sniffed a bit, blinking a bunch to contain my tears "Y-yeah I'm alright *sniff* i have hay fever, damn must be that time of year already" I Chuckled, faking another smile.

He sighed, giving me the classic serious Sans look. "Don't lie to me (Y/N), I know somethings up. We've been friends for what? 3 and a half years now?" "Y-yeah..." My gazes falls, not wanting to look into his eyes.

"And friends don't lie to each other, nor do they keep stuff from each other especially if it leads to the friend about cry their eyes out." He hooked one of his phalanges under my chin, lifting it up so I'd face him. Not gonna lie it was hot, but it sadly wasn't the time for that. "Come on kid, what's wrong?" He asked softly

I can't... "It's just... heh didn't think a lazy bone head like you could get the girls" I nudged him a bit, bursting into laughter.

His face was covered in a blue hue, blushing. He let a chuckle, releasing my chin. "Harsh but fair Kiddo. but come on stop avoiding the topic-"

"Aren't I too old for that nickname now Sans? You've been calling me kid and kiddo for as long as i can remember" I force a giggle, hoping to throw him off.

He gave me a "really" look, shaking his head slightly as he sighed. the it was his turn to plaster on a smile. "What, it suits you~ And you do tend to act like a child from time to time." Sans teased. Oh, I acted like a child from time to time?! You should see him when we run out of ketchup. Toddler 100.

I shook my head, chuckling a bit. "Whatever you say bonehead" Before he could say anything else our names were called out, our meals ready.

-Time Skip-

We ate our meals without bringing up my sudden breakdown. Well near breakdown. We joked about, laughing about the latest memes and stupid videos YouTube provided. After we ate, we wandered through the city. It was late, the stars lighting up the sky mixed with the bright lights of the city. Arm wrapped around my neck and laughter in the air we finally stopped at a small park. It was one of my favourite places in the city, and the best part was at night they lit lanterns which illuminated the whole part. It was truly a sight to see. We sit down on a nearby chair, his arm still around me. Don't flatter yourself (Y/N) ... He likes someone else, remember.

"Hey kid... You know why i would never play hide 'n' seek with you?" Sans asks, his gaze turned towards me.

Now that caught my attention... And left me with like several questions. "W-what? Heh, why?" I replied, generally confused. Was this meant to be one of his famous Sans jokes that has a weird pun mixed in with it??

"Because someone like you is impossible to find..." He softly spoke, his free hand reaching up to cup my face running his thumb along my cheek. A faint blue blush dusted his face.

WHAT?!?!? My face was heated up furiously, blushing red. My heart was beating wildly as it threatened to burst out of my rib cage. Was he flirting?? Gosh it was so cute but cheesy at the same time... But he liked someone else.... R-right? "S-sans, I'm confus-" before i could finished his thumb swiftly found my lips, hushing me. He lingered there for a second, brushing his thumb along my bottom lip. God it was hot.

"Roses are red violets are blue I didn't know what perfect was until I met you" He leant in close his face inches away from mine, his thumb leaving my lips. His blush was more visible now, glowing a soft blue.

I didn't know what to say, how to react, or how to feel. He left me completely speechless and a blushing mess. And he did this with shitty pick-up lines that you'd find on the internet or hear on a tinder date. Damn he was good.

"(Y/N) ..." The arm that was originally around my neck had now shifted so that his hand was cupping the other side of my face, the other hand now at my waist. He then shifted himself so that he was now next to my ear, his breath against my neck. "Your lips look lonely would they like to meet mine?" His whispered softly, his lips.... mouth... teeth?? brushing against my ear.

My face was now lava, my head spinning with millions of questions and even more feelings. before i even had the time to say anything or even react he kissed me. and it was no peck on the lips, he full on kissed me. And how was he so good at it?! He's a damn skeleton?! But i couldn't lie, I enjoyed it. I kissed back, wrapping my hands around his neck. Few seconds later we pull away, his forehead pressed against mine.

"What am i going to do with you" He muttered as he put back a lose strand of hair behind my ear. "The girl was you; it was always you. (Y/N) I’ve loved you for as long as i could remember, you've always been there for me. I'm not so good with expressing my emotions with people... everyone but you."

My eyes widened as my heart swelled with joy. H-he did like me. Holy sh*t was I that dense, Was i the oblivious one?! Stars above. I mentally slapped myself, embarrassed how i pulled a Sans. 

"I understand if you reject me, after what happened earlier... I will admit it was a d*ck move. but I swear I meant no harm; I didn't mean to hurt you." His thumb gently rubbed against my cheek. "I love you"

He wasn't kidding... He wasn't kidding!!! "You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this" I smile brightly, my eyes threatening to cry again. I sniff, wiping my eyes with my sleeve.

"I love you too, Sans. And i always will"

#undertale #undertalefanfic #undertalesans #undertaleclassicsans #undertale au #undertale fanfiction #undertale sans #classic sans #sans x reader #undertale x reader #x reader #ao3 fanfic

[infamousbrad]

I don't often get C-PTSD flashbacks from reading ProPublica news articles. I'm going to have to spend some time breathing deliberately and/or take a sleeping pill and go back to bed.

I'm autistic. Job hunting was hell for me at the best of times because I've never met a Human Resources employee who wasn't bigoted against the mentally ill. "You're perfectly qualified for the job, but I just don't think you'd be a good fit." So every job hunt I've ever had, even in boom times, has taken me a year or more to find someone who knew me, personally or professionally from a previous job, who had an opening and could pull rank on H.R. to get me in. And every job ended the same way: I got transferred to a disability-hostile manager ("it's not fair to everyone else if I treat you differently") and almost immediately fired. So threatening to fire me is only one step down from threatening to try to kill me.

And I've been threatened with being fired way more times than I've actually been fired. I'm a naturally scrupulous person, especially when safety issues are involved because I can't not worry, but also I know I'm really bad at telling when the people around me think the rules matter and when they don't (and worse at caring about their feelings about it being okay to break the rules this time). And I have long-since lost track of how many times I've been confronted with the choice:

Either commit a crime that puts people in danger ...

Or else we'll fire you, and you'll have to explain to every human resources department you apply at that you were fired for disobeying an order.

God, I hate this species. "I don't care if it's unsafe or illegal, I need it done." "Everybody cheats, if you don't cheat you can't make money." "We've gotten away with it before, it'll be fine." And "if other people die, they die; it's more important to get the job done." Fuck fuck fuck, I hate it. 'Cause it's real cheap of them to say when they're not going to be the one who gets hurt, isn't it? It's not like their families are going to get killed when (not if) a train derails, so who cares?

Some outlet I read (I think it was the WaPo?) did a long series about whistleblowing a little while back and concluded that most of us won't even say we want more whistleblowers, and most of the people who say they do don't mean it, certainly not when it comes to their own misdeeds. In one of the articles in the series, they cited moral foundations theory and suggested that that's because almost half of us rank "loyalty" above most or all other virtues. As in yes honesty and safety are virtues, but loyalty to your employer, your team, whatever is a more important virtue.

Fuck that. If I've let myself get peer pressured or tricked or bullied into doing something (or worse, ordering something) illegal and unsafe, I want subordinates who'll call me on my bullshit, hold me accountable. I need backup, everybody needs backup! Retaliate against whistleblowers? Fuck that noise; if I were in a position to hire, I'd offer extra to hire people who'd blown the whistle on misconduct to the point where they got fired for it -- I may not be able to trust them to "have my back" (which I don't even want when I'm in the wrong!) but I can trust them to tell the truth and protect others.

Obviously this means I've never worked in H.R. And it probably overlaps heavily with why my last real, professional employer finally told me I'd never make management. And shortly thereafter fired me. In a straight-up case of whistleblower retaliation. And then went so far as to lie to every potential employer I applied to that I was fired for "making terroristic threats," a straight-up frame-up that guaranteed that I'd never work in my industry again.

#rail safety #workplace safety #whistleblower retaliation #propublica

[age-of-moonknight]

How would you break down the alters' personalities?

Oooooh this is a really fun ask to receive! Thank you so much for sending it to me! :D I feel like I need to preface this though that the way each of the alters' personalities (and to a certain extent, their dynamic within the system) is presented fluctuates a bit with individual writers and mediums. Like, currently, I am wrestling with myself over how best to respond to this ask, because there's the part of me that wants to give the most direct possible answer to your question (how /I/ specifically might parse out the alters) and then there's the part of me that wants to take any opportunity I can to discuss the varying ways the guys have been portrayed across the whole expanse of Moon Knight comics. 😅 So I very well might do both???? For now though, I'll stick with the former because,,,,the latter will take considerably more time than I have at this very moment; however, please just let me know if I misinterpreted your ask as I would be MORE than happy to eventually produce something that's a bit more,,,,historical, if you will. Personal Feelings, Sir aka fair warning, this is entirely just my opinion and I tend to pull a lot from the first volume (but with all of the improvements made by later volumes), so please take the ramblings under the cut with a grain of salt.

MARC

Marc is....over all not a very happy man. He's incredibly tactically proficient with an infantryman's razor sharp sardonic wit and if you share a common goal, he's a great ally to have by your side, but...he's seen things that weigh on a soul and done things he's not proud of and you can tell. Like, there's just a certain intensity and hyperawareness that some combat veterans get that you can see in their eyes and I definitely feel like that comes through with Marc. Kinda taciturn, one might even say at times "brusque" (but he might argue "efficient/economical/laconic"), but there are those he genuinely cares for and he's not without a sense of humor. The issue is that he's definitely aware of his own lethal capability and views it not just as a learned skill but as an integral part of who he is, that "there was never anything kind or gentle about [him]" (Moon Knight vol. 9/2021, #5). Oh, and he's got issues with authority as well as an independent streak that could span the Chicago River that have from his time spent in his father's house to the Marine Corps to his mercenary days burned many bridges, so between that and the very real crimes against humanity he's committed, homeboy's got a lot weighing on him. But he's trying his best to be better from here on out and his degree of faith in whether or not he can actually be better may change with the day but he tries nonetheless, making all the difference.

STEVEN

You ever seen, like, a leopard seal hunting? That's how efficiently Steven navigates high society. He has a perfect handle on old money manners and old money charms and knows exactly how to utilize them. I wouldn't say he's "tactical" with the same connotation of martial violence of action that hangs over Marc, but he's definitely analytical. Highly analytical. I want to make it clear that none of the alters are by any stretch of the imagination dumb, but just by the nature of character dynamics, Steven always ends up the Superego even when Marc and Jake take turns being the Id. Whereas Jake is jovial and street smart and Marc was a CIA operative for a reason (even if his heavy guilt and, if you will, angst can still on occasion sneak up on him and take him out), Steven is the numbers guy. He's the one that takes care of the business end of things and sometimes that means being the level-headed one of the bunch as well. Now, I don't want to make Steven sound like a cold fish (or worse, a bit too much of a shark). I would be remiss if I didn't mention that sometimes, particularly in earlier issues, he can come across as a bit of a dandy, perfectly happy enjoying the finer things in life. More importantly, "the finer things in life" include friends and just genuinely positive relationships. He may have a perfectly crafted persona for society functions that includes a very convincing fake laugh, but he's also far more open to loving and being loved than Marc with all of his hang ups could ever possibly be.

JAKE

When Mr. MacKay described Jake as "avuncular" (Moon Knight vol. 9/2021, #14) and a piratical "rascal" (Moon Knight vol. 9/2021, #15) that took me the heck out because, YEAH! While Steven's the perfect party guest, Jake is the life of the party. He's a force of nature and a bit of a whirlwind, the kind of cabbie that can comfortably (both for you and for him) talk your ear off for the entire fare with the thickest Chicagoan accent you've ever had the privilege of hearing. He's a steadfast and steadying support to those he calls friends (of which he has many since he has a tendency to make them where ever he goes), but he's not above settling a matter with his fists if the situation calls for it. He's nothing if not scrappy after all, because hey, the streets of New York where he spends most of his time aren't exactly easy. Similarly, he's also, I don't want to say "a gossip" per say, but he picks up gossip and other bits of intel like a lint trap. He has a wide net of connections, and don't get me wrong, he loves people dearly, but he's very keen when it comes to knowing exactly which people to tap if he needs a certain line of information. He's honest and lovable and an absolute rogue that makes it very hard to remain mad at him, no matter what mischief he might get into.

#Knight Mail #Thank you so much for sending this and giving me an excuse to ramble about my favorite guys! #I hope it doesn't look like I have a bias (though that would be a fascinating experiment.... #seeing who people think might be my absolute fave...or if I even have one hahaha) #I hope that this was???? at least in the neighborhood of what you were looking for???? #but again please don't hesitate (and this goes for anyone who would so like to) to send in an ask as I'm always happy to respond #and shoot there's a very real possibility that I'll be returning to this topic at some point #the only reason I didn't drop the full essay right here and now is uuuuuh because I definitely should not be awake at this hour.....whoops #got a bit carried away 😅

[freeleyenrashespeakstruth]

REAL TIME NOW

PLEASE READ: 

Good morning Ms. ......! Attached please find the denial letter from EA concerning the temporary rental assistance that I so desperately need in order to get the very necessary medical treatment for my 2 injured shoulders and my injured back, legs and feet that I have not yet been able to recover from because of a similar denial that occurred 9 years ago on the job. I need to appeal as soon as possible, so as not to be sent into the street as homeless again for the 2nd time in less than 10 years.

According to the letter, what I am being told to do is to stay in my present address, my home that I have fought so hard to obtain, until the landlord pays the legal system approx $1000 to file for my eviction that he knows he will not get back, a tax right off. So he will lose $1000 if he files for eviction. He will not do that. Nobody in their sane right mind would.

Then once the owner of the property, the landlord, has paid his $1000 to the legal system, then it becomes an emergency. I then am required by this decision to remain in my home for an additional 2 plus months at $800 per month until social services finds me a room in a roomming house to live in. By making that decision they are telling me that I need to stay in a potentially dangerous situation with a man who has paid my rent out of his own pocket for the past 6 months since my injury and my unemployment benefits ran out. And I need to live with him and walk by him and see him every day as I live rent free on his expense, as the electricity goes off, tv gets shut down and he himself struggles financially until he gets action by my leaving his home, my home too presently. I already owe this man almost or over $5000 that basically he lost according to the letter, and he is required by law to lose another $1000-3000 until the action of removing me, his physically disabled roommate, from his home. I can see for sure how this situation could easily blow up to a violent confrontation. I hope you and the court can see this also.

So, the landlord and roommate, who I am already indebted to for $5000 will need to lose another $3000-5000 just to see justice performed in the United States of America. Thats great! Why? Because prior to this both the roommate and landlord leaned to the left politically and now see the crimes being committed against the citizens ARE in FACT true and happening right before our eyes. They also see that the crimes being committed are not only against the white citizen, which many do agree with and appreciate, but the crimes are also against the brown citizen, as the 2 are now required by law to pay and lose almost $10,000 just because a tenant/roommate has been injured and can no longer continue to work and support himself.

I am only 2 years before my official retirement age. I have worked all my life, beginning at 10 years old. I have supported myself, my son, my family, lent and or gave money to those in need, and helped many, many people who I know can never pay back what they received. And I have paid taxes to this nation all my life, with the exception of 3 years when I was first made homeless by the State of New Jersey because of the injuries I sustained 9 years ago. So I have actually paid for the benefits I am now being denied for the 2nd times in less than 10 years. What is happening to me right now is a crime. It is a crime against my civil rights as a citizen of the United States of America, it is a crime against my basic human rights as a human being being committed by a goverment  who claims to fight the very crimes against human rights that they are, and have, committed. It is also a crime of deception by deceiving the owner of this property I now live at to think he will get justice after filing the eviction paperwork with the courts, and it is a crime of deception to deceive my current roommate to think that the goverment will force him to continue to pay my share of the rent, that he will never get back, just so that justice can be served. It is a crime of deception to me, the now disabled citizen who can no longer work just shy of 2 years til retirement, to tell me that I need to go through social services, not temporary disability, when I become injured as the bridge to gap work to disability. Nine years ago I was made homeless for the same reason, so these crimes have already been committed against me once, but I continued so my roommate could see the truth for himself. Now he knows.

I am asking you to appeal this decision on my behalf and to right the wrong that has been committed, the crimes, against me now, the 2nd time, and against millions of other American citizens. To create a society of poverty where citizens have to fight for their lives literally, and force roommate situations and roomming houses, how can the same goverment then deny help to people who live with roommates or in roomming houses? Illegally is the only way, unless this is no longer the America we claim to be. We have sa serious identity problem if this is legal and ok.

[dragonflight203]

Mass Effect 2, recruiting Garrus:

-I could do without the sexism the game occasionally throws in for femShep. There’s enough of that in the real world.

From the batarian recruiter, it doesn’t even make sense. Why would batarians have the same gender roles that humans do?

I will amuse myself moving forward by blaming all sexism from other species on the assumption that they’re associating human women with asari. Since so many asari in the maiden stage are strippers and human woman look like asari, human women are being lumped in with their stereotypes.

-The recruiter has his spiel down pat. Clearly he’s said this many times and can anticipate the most common questions.

All jobs that deal with the public quickly result in creating a customer service voice, I suppose.

-Of course the Blue Suns member says that his boss is actually in job of the operation, despite what the other merc groups may say.

It’s true in this case, but I’m not considering the source the most reliable informant.

-Recruiter: Besides, what are the odds he can kill all of you?

Dude, you just said that if I die my friends don’t get my pay. If the risk of me dying is reasonable, there’s no point in taking this job!

-The recruiter evades answering where Archangel’s base is. Odd, since once you get there banners clearly say it’s the Kima district. Why not just say that?

-How did a human kid grow up on Omega? Again, humanity has been part of galactic society for less than 30 years. Kids looks 16 or so. How likely is it he would have been born there?

-Speaking to Salkie after starting the mission:

Miranda: Sounds a bit like a suicide mission.

Salkie: Pretty much. But it looks like you can handle it.

Bioware just couldn’t resist.

-Garrus is sniping people across quite a distance. How are the locals handling all this? Did everyone just call out of work to avoid getting caught in the crossfire?

-Given that the game strongly nudges you to pick up Mordin first, Garrus would be the next logical mission since he’s also on Omega.

As such, this mission is clearly intended to introduce the three mercenary bands you’ll encounter throughout the rest of Mass Effect 2. It’s a good introduction to them, and a fairly valid excuse to talk to their leaders.

-I question Jaroth’s skills, given that I can steal a datapad of the mercenary bands plotting against Aria right in front of him.

-Huh. According to the Codex, the Blook Pack started out as a vorcha gang. The krogan Ganar took them over later.

I had completely forgotten that vorcha started it.

-Ganar was exiled for striking a female in anger. That’s always struck me as odd; krogan are very comfortable with violence, even the females.

I suppose one could justify it because of the fertility issues, but it still seems out of character.

-Jentha is very blunt that the freelancers will be shot if the infiltration team fails. You’d think that’s not something the Blue Suns would advertise to freelancers.

-Garrus is notably down when speaks to you. Natural enough after finding his squad dead from betrayal.

-Garrus’ base is huge. Is real estate cheap on Omega?

Given the crime rate that’s what I would expect, but it’s crowded enough I could also see prices being high.

-His squad are scattered throughout the base, covered in sheets. Even given the circumstances, Garrus did his best to lay them to rest.

-Everyone complains about the pyro when trying to close the shutters on Garrus’ recruitement, but I always have far more trouble in the open room. I died so many times trying to close that shutter.

Normandy

-Good to hear Garrus bring up Cerberus’ experiments in ME1. Yes, let’s discuss the myriad of black marks Cerberus has against them.

-If you go paragon when speaking to Garrus, Shepard implies that Garrus is the only one they trust.

Reasonable, considering that so far the squad consists of Cerberus personnel, a former STG salarian mad scientist, and a newly awakened krogan that is at loose ends.

-I repeat: Early ME2 is strongly biased to Tech. I have three tech upgrades, increased tech duration, and decreased tech cooldowns.

I have no biotic upgrades, and the only one available is from DLC.

-Kelly, in regards to attraction to aliens: Character matters, not race or gender.

Bioware, you cowards. You include this line but you cut the Jack romance with femShep despite making it clear she’s bisexual, there are no m/m romances in ME1 or ME2, and with Liara and femShep you play it off as asari being monogender so it’s not really gay.

-John Whitson is the human kid I prevented from signing up as a freelancer to go after Garrus. According to the email he sent, Aria gave him Shepard’s email.

Why would Aria do that? Why would she even notice something this minor? Aria made it clear she’s indifferent about Archangel and Shepard. Is she fucking with me?

-Chakwas should have had some dialogue for recruiting Garrus. Alas, she does not.

-Going by the Codex, the turian Hierarchy pulled a fast one over the Alliance to create the Thanix Canon from Sovereign’s salvage. Essentially they sent in specialists undercover in the guise of volunteers.

Amusing, considering that the Hierarchy is not known for its guile. But of course if bigger guns are at stake they can pull it off

-Shepard asks if the Cerberus crew are giving Garrus trouble. Good of them to recognize aliens may not be having a great time on the human supremacy ship, but a bit odd they never ask the other alien squadmates such.

-Garrus starts off by saying he did mercenary work, then immediately backtracks and says his group weren’t mercs because they didn’t take money. Buddy, pick a line and stick to it!

-Garrus also says he went to Omega because in the aftermath of Sovereign, there was too much chaos on the Citadel for him to do good with C-Sec.

I doubt that. If anything, crime should have been more rampant in Sovereign’s aftermath. Two years later and the Citadel is still rebuilding. Hell, he could have joined internal affairs and nailed Bailey.

I suspect the truth is more that after traveling with a spectre C-Sec felt like a step down. Garrus wanted the thrills of taking on criminals directly without any red tape to deal with and where he could see the immediate result of his efforts. So he went to Omega where no one would hold him accountable and he could do as he pleased.

-Zaeed says that he and Archangel wanted the same thing: A whole lot of mercs dead.

Why does Zaeed want a whole lot of mercenaries dead? Yes, obviously he wants Vito dead for betraying him. But that’s one dude. Maybe throw in the Blue Suns that helped Vito betray Zaeed. But who else does Zaeed want dead and why?

#mass effect #mass effect 2 #mass effect 2 replay

[talesfromsiteredacted]

The War On Soup

It's Friday, and Clef is not in love with the Site Cafeteria. My diagnosis? Too many lukewarm bowls of tomato soup. By extention, he's declared war on all broth based foods. He's mad as hell, he won't take it anymore, and... honestly I can't say I blame him. I hate tomato soup.

I'm directly behind Dr. Clef in line at the site cafeteria. I know a classic Clef tantrum has been brewing all week, it usually happens should O5 deny him permission to neutralize an anomaly. He makes it through the salad line with hardly a twitch of his third eye. Goes through the beverage section, selects coffee with way more sugar than I can stand, and... we're off to Danger Alley, aka the soup line. There it is, the first twitch.

"Steady, Boss. It's not worth the Keter Duty."

"There had better not be any tomato soup today." We trudge on, with little hope of finding actual taste in today's main offerings. While the food here is plentiful, about 85-95% is a special kind of institutional bland no hot sauce will fix. I tend to just avoid the issue altogether, but I ran late today with no time to pack lunch. Dr. Clef sees the familiar ladles and giant vats, and twitch number two happens, a double. Yeah... someone is about to have a bad time. Most likely me trying to talk my boss down.

"You don't have to eat here."

"I know, but... I kind of suck at lunch planning. And... with our funding you'd think they could have food that tastes like real food, not the fake as hell Hollywood advertising variants."

"True, but I doubt going on a rampage would convince them to hire Gordon Ramsey."

We get to the luckless worker behind the soup vats. He greets us, then recites the offerings of the day.

"We got cream of broccoli, chicken gumbo, potato cheddar bisque, 3 bean soup, chili, and..."

"Here it comes." Clef muttered.

"Garden tomato." Uh oh. Third twitch, and my boss is about to blow.

"You did not just say that. Again. Garden tomato? That gross reddish goo probably never even saw sunlight, never mind the garden. And serving it every 343 damned day is such cruel and unusual nourisment. It's gastrointestinal torture. And if the Geneva Conventions even applied to us I'd have whomever plans the menus up on war crimes, hell... I'd even volunteer for the firing squads myself." A medium crowd has gathered, and a few are even cheering him on.

"Damn straight, Doc!"

"Screw your soups!"

"Give us something other than soup!" A wise Agent would be calling in every MTF in house to prevent a riot. Anyone who ate here would understandably turn on the cafeteria staff. But... before I can even grab my radio, Clef leaps over the counter, chasing the poor D-Class forced into kitchen labor. There's a mob after him, but not trying to stop him... nope. They're destroying every damn potential stock and soup pot in the joint. I can hear the horrible chanting over all the clanging of metal...

"No! More! Soup!" "No! More! Soup!" "No! More! Soup!"

After five minutes, the chaos subsides. Every. Single. Stock. Pot... GONE. Every. Soup. Pot... Destroyed. But... surprisingly, no human injuries. Aside from Mabel's black eye, and Dr. Clef tore his favorite shirt, a blue based nightmare covered in yellow hibiscus and flamingos. No sign of most of the staff, they knew when to get gone at least even if they can't cook. I'm helping poor Mabel to her feet when Dr. Glass sneaks up on us.

"It was the soup again, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, I should have seen this coming. Granted, I hate tomato soup too. But violence against cookware is a bit extreme. That's it. Boss? You back in reality yet, or you gonna Hulk out again?"

"I'm good. Aside from being hungry, obviously."

"Great. You're coming with me, unless you'd rather face the wrath of Gears on an empty stomach. And from now on, I'm bringing you lunch." Shocked looks from both my superiors. "This is a matter of Site safety. If Clef goes off his rocker over cream of supposedly chicken next time, what happens if someone gets hurt? Nope, better to bring lunch for two than have that on my conscience. I am not flirting with him, nor am I trying to gain a promotion. I'm doing this to save lives, gents."

"Fair enough. As for the mess... I'll just tell the Counsel that Dr. Clef tried making French onion soup or something."

"They'll buy that, I am a lousy cook."

"Yeah, but that's one of the many reasons you put up with me."

"Rabbit, I like you. You see the truth before even we do. Your kitchen witchery is just a happy bonus, honestly. Although... any chance of some lasagna?"

"That'd take too long from scratch. But... I do have some penne with chicken and vodka sauce. There's enough for three, Dr. Glass, if you're interested?"

"Tempting, but... I have a lunch date. I just wanted to be sure there really were no casualties. Besides Clef's shirt."

"Oh. Well... enjoy your date, Doctor."

#scp foundation #tales from site redacted #agent rabbit #dr clef #no more soup

[liyuee-qixing]

How do their room look like Harbinger HC

Just full crack. I think someone do this already I'm heavily inspired by them to make my own hc😭

Character: scaramouche, Sandrone, columbina,IL Dottore

warning for gore but I didn't fully specifically describe it

Columbina

She sometimes chew on your arm,she doesn't bite though.. it just a bit concerning 😟😟,she chew on everywhere,your door,shower head,your jacket,the window,her plushie..

She have 47 soda cans laying on your both room without a reason,she also have another harbinger belonging in one of her desk,she mark it as 'the chewing mark Champions' whatever that mean..

She's like sleeping beauty so she have so SOOO much plushies laying around,some of them is really scary though,I mean in my opinion no one with a sane mind have a voodoo doll of the eleventh harbinger

She'll make your both room like a dollhouse,painted in pink or any pastel color and gave it pretty ribbon on the wall. Along with her knife collection that she label as "killing weapon hehehehehe"

1/10 would not life with her nor marry her

Sandrone

She'll have a random Katheryne arm laying around on your both room and she'll label it as "funny ass grabber"

She also have tons of gears laying on your bed and bathroom. There is also a fish wall decorations that sings snezhnaya National song in the most hell abyssal shit tons voice possible it sound something like

"for our queen- AUGGGHAUDKAVJ*broke*" AND THE WORST PART IT RANDOMLY SING AT NIGHT. AND SANDRONE DID NOTHING ABOUT IT DESPITE BEING A VERY SMART AT MECHANICAL ENGINEERING

She carved the soap on the bathroom to a hillicurl or smug face for fun.

Her room also look like a dollhouse but dark and filled with machine

There also a corpse with very dirty make up on her face.

2/10 weird.

Il Dottore

FUCKING -100/10

there is a lot of machines and doll part than he just throw away. He sometimes label it like "thigh worship item" or "funny killing machine" or just straight up "hehehehe"

He has a photo of someone he hates with a knife stabbing it.

There's a blood splatter under his bed and his mirror,when someone ask him what causes it he just said it was an accident

He has a Needle and mask hanging on his cardboards that he label as his achievement, there's also a my little pony fan art he made,he'll bark at u if u said my little pony isn't real

He ironically label everything in his room(he also label u at ur forehead) and all of them is labelled very weird "The very funny tickling feet machine 6079" or stuff like that

He have weird competition with Columbina to see who chew on random things the most,columbina score 5098 Dottore score 5076

He bites on ur arm too

Crimes against humanity

Scaramouche

Also crimes against humanity 1/10

He has lot of bloody knifes on his wall it painted some spot of his walls red.

He has murder list of people he wanna get rid of

1. Mom

2. Mom pink fox

3. Shogun

And it just goes on..

723,895. Myself

He's kind of weird tbh😭, someone cure his mommy issues and identity crisis (I can't be his mother figure but I can be his mommy figure)

There also a dead bird on his windows. And also there's a katheryne arm laying on his floor that has note saying "if u lose ur arm u can use my ass grabbers 567-69A CV Android"

He has self of potion and a pack of milk powder that he slurp like nicotine when he's stressed.

He has a black cat he named fandango (he don't actually name him fandango but Childe and other keep calling it fandango so he continues to call it fandango) who is just like him,shitty and grumpy

But his bed is incredibly nice and comfy tho

2/10 pity poin

I don't remember when I write this tbh,enjoy???🥳🥳🥳

#genshin imagines #genshin headcanons #fatui headcanons #harbinger headcanons #wtf am i looking at