#I MEAN SANDALPHON IS RIGHT HERE

[icharchivist]

THEY'RE JUST DOWNRIGHT SAYING IT LMAOOOOO

#OF COURSE I WAS ABOUT TO MAKE A JOKE ABOUT ALL THE GUYS WHO TRIED TO KILL US #I MEAN SANDALPHON IS RIGHT HERE #BUT VYRN BEAT ME TO THE PUNCH #ichablogging 10thanni #ichablogging gbf

[ao3cassandraic]

Saraqael, Heaven's Only Competent Angel

Season 2 got terrifically lucky with Liz Carr. Fantastic casting choice for a decidedly intriguing angel.

Saraqael strikes me as a Chief Operating Officer type. Judging from the colors of her lapels and Muriel's ascotty thing, Muriel is in her chain of command (near or at the bottom, naturally). Those colors also suggest that Saraqael, archangel or no, is a step down from Michael and Uriel. The big archangels don't wear plaids.

When Muriel goes to Saraqael with the matchbox, she makes a quick (and bureaucratically correct) decision to bring it to Michael and Uriel. She approaches them politely, with the correct form of address even, but fearlessly and without undue fawning. Good for her.

While Michael and Uriel are being completely and utterly useless, Saraqael heads over to the Realtime Big Globe and starts searching, zeroing in on the miracle plume quickly. So she's upper management, but she hasn't lost all ability to do hands-on OSINT. Intriguing.

Saraqael stops the standoff at Aziraphale's bookshop door with a firm but polite "Shall we discuss this inside?" She's also the one with the measurement of miracle strength, which fits a manager who still keeps her hand in. Otherwise, she observes -- and unlike Michael and Uriel, she doesn't give away anything. (Lord, Michael. "Did we [mention we were looking for Gabriel]?" It was the first thing Uriel said! Y'all get your good-cop-bad-cop story straight beforehand next time.)

And it's competent-ops Saraqael who decides on action: sending Muriel down for miracle verification and keeping a close eye on Aziraphale. Aziraphale calls this "very professional of you," and he's not wrong, considering Heaven's twisted, surveillance-laced notions of professionalism. Saraqael does her job.

Somebody definitely needed to coach Muriel better about fitting in on Earth, but I'm willing to forgive Saraqael that one; it's probably not her job to do that, but Muriel's line manager's job. Muriel's 37th-level -- I have to assume there's a line manager or two (or twelve) between them and Saraqael. Plus, of course, all the angels (except Aziraphale, possibly Sandalphon, and the Metatron) are ruinously terrible at Earthing -- s2 continues the s1 throughline of the archangels being seen on Earth only rarely and briefly.

Another moment of Michael's utter uselessness, incidentally -- in the Job minisode, when she archangelsplains the meaning of "Shuhite" our timorous Aziraphale actually rolls his eyes, and Gabriel quiets her with one hand. She's actually right to be suspicious (this happens often in s2), just terrible at actually communicating her suspicions such that anyone else will take action on them.

(I actually have considerable sympathy for Michael here. I have also 'splained a mighty 'splain professionally in my time, and had many eyes rolled at me. Michael's right. So was I. But so it goes. Knowledge without adroit communication isn't worth much.)

Saraqael recognizes Crowley in his bee!demon disguise immediately (unlike Michael and Uriel, again), but notice that she doesn't raise any alarms and she doesn't even bother punishing Muriel. (I am a bit sorry she doesn't get to take a crack at his horrific garb. Missed opportunity there.) With the Metatron's find-Gabriel mandate still in place, she lets the situation run to see if Crowley will get her closer to finding Gabriel -- which, in fact, he does! So she knows when not to act hastily, too.

In the meeting about the Second Coming, and at Gabriel's trial, Saraqael again observes but mostly holds her peace. Her opsness comes to the fore again when they decide to mindwipe Gabriel; she's the one to set it in motion via her glass phone, and she's the one to report that he can't be found. As ops, though, she doesn't unilaterally decide what to do -- she asks.

(And the Metatron, extremely punchable boss that he is, throws the worst and least accurate possible insult at her! Look, I'm not expert at British English or anything, but "wet" seems to mean "whingy halfhearted coward," and that is so not Saraqael! Ugh, if Gabriel learned management from the Metatron, no wonder he's such a horror in s1.)

So we're set up very well for the angels-and-demons bookshop scene. Does Saraqael act swiftly when told to? Yep -- if not for Crowley, Maggie and Nina would be table seasonings.

Does Saraqael observe, and draw correct conclusions? I think so. Because I'm on the side of things that thinks she rumbled the human-guise Metatron well before Crowley gave the game away to Aziraphale, yet said nothing. Very intriguing.

Here's where I'm going with all this. Two points, actually:

Point one: Maybe it wasn't the Metatron who mindwiped Crowley, since that's a thing that sure seems to have happened. (That would leave human-Enoch-becomes-the-Metatron theories intact.) Maybe it was Saraqael. Who worked with Crowley on the Horsehead Nebula, and might well have heard him asking dangerous questions. Whose job mindwiping apparently is. I'm not wedded to this theory, but gosh, it sure is interesting.

Point two: Organizations can shamble along like zombies with consistently crappy ops (a lot of us have probably worked for such; I sure have). An organization that had competent ops but suddenly loses it, however, is boned, humped, screwed, at least temporarily and quite possibly permanently.

If I were Aziraphale, wanting to ruin the Metatron and wreck Heaven's whole deal, the very first angel I'd want to subvert, recruit, or -- and I hope this doesn't happen but I'm not ruling it out, because if I'm right about what Saraqael did to Crowley, Aziraphale's gonna go postal when he finds out -- destroy, would be Saraqael.

#gos2spoilers #gos2 spoilers #good omens season 2 spoilers #good omens #good omens meta #saraqael #crowley #aziraphale #the fucking metatron #michael #uriel #the heaven non-brain trust

[demon-in-the-details]

Good Omens. It has taken over many of our brains and will slowly drive us all insane before we get answers (hugs to those in the trenches.) I've been reading a lot of theories, gone down lots of rabbit holes, been rewatching and pondering on clues – and I have Things to Say. I'm going to throw them out here one at a time and maybe gather them up eventually into one place somewhere.

So I guess this is a theory or a prediction I've worked out:

Aziraphale is, or will become, the Archangel Raphael.

Many Good Omens fans have picked up on the fact that in Jewish tradition there are 4 main archangels: Gabriel, Michael, Uriel, and Raphael. In the GO universe Raphael is missing. Since we know that Crowley is a fallen angel many fans have specualted that he is Raphael. I think there is stronger evidence that it is Aziraphale:

• It’s literally in his name: drop the “azi” and rearrange a couple of letters and you’ve got Raphael.

• In the Book of Tobit Raphael goes by “Azariah” when he disguises himself as a human. That’s awfully close to “Aziraphale”.

• Raphael’s name means “God has healed” and he is known as a healer. We know that Aziraphale has the power to heal.

• In the Talmud Raphael was tasked with saving Lot when Sodom is destroyed. In season one Gabrial asks Aziraphale if he remembers Sandalphon from Sodom and Gomorrah. Aziraphale replies that he remembers him doing lots of smiting. In the Talmud Gabriel is tasked with destroying Sodom. In the GO universe Sandalphon seems to be Gabriel’s right-hand man.

• Now here’s the kicker: in Islamic tradition Raphael is the one who blows the horn that announces Judgement Day. And what did Metatron say he needed Aziraphale for? The Second Coming. 

I don’t know how to reconcile that he is Raphael when we’ve only ever known Aziraphale by that name, even “before the beginning” – or that we know him as a principality. Could be that his name changes when he becomes an archangel? 

I don’t think we will ever know Crowley’s angel name. I think it will be like a dead name. We should all understand what that means to a person in this day and age. I also think that Crowley is a much more powerful angel than an archangel. He is probably more powerful than any of the angels we have met, including Aziraphale. Does he know how powerful he is? Probably, but he’s not telling!

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens theory #good omens fandom #aziraphale #good omens s2 #good omens season 2 #good omens season 3 #good omens tv #archangel aziraphale

[aziraphales-library]

Would you happen to know any fanfics where the two of them witness or take part in some kind of significant queer history / queer historic event?

We have the following tags which you'll want to check out: #queer history, #pride parade, and #queer guardian angel aziraphale. Here are some which explore some more general aspects of queer history...

Something New…A Rain Bow by Princip1914 (G)

Inspired by this Neil Gaiman twitter exchange: “So they’re gay, right?” Neil: “They’re an angel and a demon, not male humans.” “Ok, but they love eachother, right? :D” Neil: “Absolutely”

and at least in this lifetime (we're sticking together) by vivelegalite (T)

[GOD, NARRATING] People tend to be torn as to which side could be credited with legalisation of gay marriage across all of the United States of America. Most people consider it an act of Good, which it is of course, and attribute it to Heaven. Some, a much less pleasant lot, argue it to be the work of Hell. They tend to back their claims up with improperly translated lines from a book the Almighty had never actually written or even really bothered to read through — I tend to outsource that kind of work — and speak of God’s will and whatnot. Both groups are, however, mistaken. The legalisation of gay marriage across all of the United States of America was brought about not by Heaven, not by Hell, but by a tragically smitten demon with a rather high alcohol concentration and a plan.

And I mean to go on and on and on and on by yolkinthejump (T)

A wedding of old friends. Aziraphale gets drunk on Gay Love and Crowley absolutely adores him. Par for the course. Thoughts on the muddled history of marriage and the power of love, persevering.

The Questions We Don't Ask by EdnaV (M)

It’s 1989, and Aziraphale has been reprimanded for helping some people that Sandalphon doesn’t like. Crowley tries to take care of him. It’s 1941, it’s 1793, it’s 1020. Crowley and Aziraphale take care of each other throughout history.

The Stylings of Madam Glena by altsernative (T)

It's 1977, eight years after Aziraphale said "You got too fast for me," and Crowley hasn't seen him since. In Aziraphale's absence, Crowley helps set up the Sundown Club, a gay bar in Soho. He tells himself--and downstairs--that it's building a space for "workers of inequity," although he finds comfort in the community. He's settled into a quiet routine of drinking at the bar every week until a beautiful drag queen captures his attention. Crowley feels unexpected things. It's weird. And where is Aziraphale?

A Strong and Silent Pride by sleepyMoritz (M)

By the start of 1982, the disease - previously known as Gay Related Immune Deficiency, or GRID - had a new name. AIDS. This did not stop it from being called the gay plague in the media. This did not stop the rampant homophobia. This did not stop the fear.

- Mod D

#good omens #ineffable husbands #queer history #queer themes #mod d

[cosmodynes]

grim swathe

i liked the idea of semi-primed dominants from ff16 sooooo semi-primed azem transformation

this is the pose from one of the promo artworks btw i'm not that cool. more rambling under the readmore

sooo ok time for ~cringe lore~ but it’s my oc so i can do what i want. 

azem’s transformation largely looks like an unholy combination of: (i don’t have the skill to design this right now so you’ll just need to imagine)

zero’s avatar form - look its so cool ok let me have this lol

arion - the mount, yes. who’s a good arcane construct, yes you are!

sandalphon gbf but bad and naughty saiyakuphon 

traits that azem gets in semi-primed form:

wings: 4 of them in 2 sets on back and hips, colour scheme is like arion’s wings with the blue/pink gradient and white. complete transformation has 6 wings (3 sets)

facial features: horn (forehead), 2 pairs of wingie ear things like the flap flaps on meteion’s head (these wings are also coloured like arion wings), fangies (if you ask them to open wide aaaahhhh ok close now)

hair: white at the ends (full transformation has completely white “hair”)

forearms: silver-grey and gold detail (like arion, are you sensing a theme here), sharp gold-tipped talons for ripping, tearing and everything in between

chest: you can’t see it under the shirt but there is a ~core~ on what would be the sternum that glows (it’s also present in fully transformed state)

cowl: ok this is just the hood on the sophist robes but the robes get in the way so it’s like a ~cool cowl~ with asymmetric cape now

ribbon: this actually appears because it’s there in azem’s full transformation. it’s... not purely decorative but let’s just let that be for now

halo: it’s cool ok. also there in full transformation.

Azem would pop into semi-primed form to tap into otherworldly strength, and then pop back out like nothing happened. what do you mean semi-priming to reach the cookie jar is vainglorious in the extreme??? short people want snacks too >: |

if it’s just a brief moment (full semi-prime sounds like a contradiction), only the lower set of hip wings would appear. 

#cosmodynes art #sketch #ffxiv #ff14 #ffxiv oc #azem #named azem #azem (asterios) #grim swathe but its like the brightest pastel lmao #10/10 would semi-prime to reach something on the top shelf #gets smacked upside the head by emet-selch #be not afraid (i am here to help) #wait why are you screaming #i got told off for 10min when i called ancient transformations 'eldritch' #come on man #it's just a descriptor for weird n eerie

[applepiewinchesters]

Long Way Down (Crowley x Gender Neutral Angel!Reader)

A/N: This wasn't requested but I just wrote it up while waiting for any requests! Hope you like it! 

Word Count: 1,625

Pining. The present tense of pine, meaning suffering from a mental and physical decline, most often due to the silly feelings the heart makes one feel. Pining however, means you miss or long for something. A lost pet, a family member long gone, or, in Crowley’s case, someone he's spent the better part of 6,000 years with.

The word put a bad taste in Crowley’s mouth, pining. He didn’t pine for you. He…admired you. Was fond of you. If Aziraphale had a word in the matter he’d like to say Crowley loved you. And he did, but he’d never admit it.

Not when you nearly discorporated trying to save the Library of Alexandria with Aziraphale. Not when he saw you for the first time in nearly two centuries. And most certainly not when he thought the world was ending and had begged yourself and Aziraphale to go with him to Alpha Centauri. He thought of saying it, maybe it would get you to go with him, to be safe, but he couldn’t.

You were the embodiment of love and light. Something Crowley hadn’t been since before he met you. You were kind, you were…bright to say the least. While Crowley was a rather confident being, he lost it all when it came to you.

It wasn’t until you were kidnapped along with himself, as Aziraphale of course, that those words were finally spoken. Well, almost.

You hadn’t been swapped with anyone, as neither demon nor angel believed you were in any real danger. It wasn’t your fault Gabriel had some weird hard on for torturing Aziraphale, and Hell never really took an interest in your activities, at least that’s what you believed.

You were taken to Heaven, strapped to a chair beside Aziraphale (Crowley), the angel Gabriel stood before you both, a smirk on his face. Sandalphon and Uriel close behind him.

“Azirphale. Y/N. So glad you could join us,” Gabriel spoke, stepping towards you both. “So, with one act of treason, you averted the war.”

“Well, I think the greater good…,” Aziraphale (Crowley) began, but he was cut off by Gabriel.

“Don’t talk to me about the greater good, sunshine. I’m the Archangel fucking Gabriel. The greater good was we were finally going to settle things with the opposition once and for all,” Gabriel spat.

You saw Crowley clench his jaw, his fists clenching as well. You wanted to reach out and take his hand but being tied up prevented that pretty well.

“Is our associate on the way?” Gabriel asked, turning to Sandalphon and Uriel.

“Here,” came another voice as a demon you’d never seen stepped off the escalator and into the room. His hair was styled to look like two horns atop his head and he dressed like he could be in some rock band.

Your eyes widened, a demon in heaven? You were sitting beside one right now but a demon just out in the open like that? In Heaven? You two were royally fucked.

Crowley could sense it too as he looked over at you, tugging at your restraints a bit. He met your gaze and gave you a quick, reassuring nod, at least one he felt was reassuring.

“Alright, get to it,” Gabriel said, stepping back.

The demon nodded and in seconds, released a tornado, quite literally, of hell fire. The heat coming from it felt like no other heat you’d felt before. It made your skin sting just being near it.

You looked to Crowley again, who was already looking at you with fear in his eyes. He and Aziraphale predicted something like this, that’s why they switched bodies, but you, you were vulnerable. You could actually die. Not just be discorporated. Destroyed. Gone. In seconds.

Gabriel walked towards you, holding out his hands and making your restraints disappear. He grabbed your arm, roughly yanking you up and away from Crowley, who began struggling in his chair.

“Wait, wait, they didn’t do anything wrong! You don’t have to hurt them!” Crowley shouted.

Gabriel let out a harsh laugh, “Oh Aziraphale, they aren’t going to burn, they’re going to fall, and it’s a long way down, or so I’m told.”

You felt your heart drop at his words and began struggling harder against his grip as a large hole opened up in floor, as Gabriel forced you towards it.

“No, no, no! Please! They don’t deserve this!” Crowley shouted again, struggling harder against the restraints. His Aziraphale façade was slipping away, he was angry, scared, you could see it.

You caught a glimpse of the bottom of the pit, flames burned brightly at the bottom, waiting to burn away your light. To turn your wings darker than the sky. You felt like throwing up as you were forced to your knees, facing Crowley and your fellow angels.

“We need to make an example of our traitors, don’t you think?” Gabriel asked, looking to the other angels. They both nodded, smiling in a way that would make milk curdle.

“Anything you’d like to say?” Gabriel all but mocked. You looked up, a few tears dripping down your cheeks, and turned your attention to Crowley.

“I love you, I always have,” you told him. Crowley’s, well, Aziraphale’s face, softened. Tears stung at the corner of his eyes.

“Please, don’t make me say it. I can’t say the words, not like this,” Crowley choked out.

“You don’t have to, I know,” you spoke softly, giving Crowley one last smile.

“Enough of this shit,” Gabriel said suddenly, and with a swift kick to your chest, you were falling.

The last thing you heard was a pained scream. Crowley.

As everything became hotter and hotter, you closed your eyes. It seemed like forever until you hit something solid, finally crashing down, and everything turned black.

*

Your body ached like no other, your head pounded when you finally came round. You were lying on something soft though. Maybe you’d landed somewhere grassy. Perhaps some sand.

When an angel falls, they aren’t sent straight to hell. They’re usually sent to some place in the middle of nowhere. No help. No nothing around for miles, its sort of a punishment in itself. And one is usually too weak at the time to miracle, or tempt themselves, anywhere.

But the voices you heard were not something you expected.

“They’re awake!”. The first voice was loud, abrupt.

The second was softer. “Yes, my dear I can see that, but hush, this is no doubt going to be hard for them.”

Your eyes finally opened, and you found yourself in a rather familiar setting, Aziraphale’s bookshop. You were lying on a couch, a blanket draped over you.

You scanned your surroundings before settling your gaze on two familiar, rather relieved, faces. Crowley and Aziraphale. You hoped for your sake they had switched back as right now you don’t know if you could handle the confusion.

Seeming to sense your worry, Aziraphale spoke up, “How are you feeling, my dear?”.

That was definitely him.

“Like shit,” you rasped. Your throat felt raw, like you’d inhaled smoke. Which you had technically. Hell fire would do that to you.

Everything came rushing back to you and you sat up rather quickly, making your muscles scream from the sudden movement and your head spin.

“Hey, hey, slow it down,” Crowley told you gently, a hand reaching out just in case. When you caught his eye, the last words you’d spoken to him flooded your mind.

I love you. I always have.

Aziraphale seemed to sense the sudden shift and stood from the chair he’d been sitting in.

“I’ll make some cocoa, I believe you two have something to discuss,” the angel spoke, quickly hurrying from the room.

You looked down at your hands and gasped. The tips of your fingers were black, almost like you’d dipped them in tar. You could only imagine how the rest of you looked now that you’d fallen.

“How bad is it?” you asked Crowley, not looking up from your hands.

It was silent until you finally looked up, meeting his gaze. Crowley only studied you for a moment, before his lips twitched up into a smile.

“Rather suits you,” he spoke, taking off his sunglasses, almost as if to see you better. “Especially the hair.”

You reached up, grabbing a strand of hair and bringing it around so you could see it better. Your hair was still the same but now with streaks of red throughout, almost brighter than Crowley’s.

You managed to laugh lightly, “Giving you a run for your money it seems.”

Crowley smiled fondly at you before looking down, clearing his throat.

“I should have told you,” he spoke, “we might have not seen each other again.”

“Like I said, I already knew,” you replied, smiling a bit.

“How long?” Crowley asked you.

“Since Alexandria, the look on your face when I made it out, I could tell” you told him.

Crowley scowled, “I wasn’t hiding it at all, was I?”.

You smiled and shook your head, “Not at all.”

It was silent between the two of you for a moment before you spoke again “You could always tell me now, that is, if you still feel the same after I’ve…fallen.”

“I’ll love you no matter your affiliation darling,” Crowley told you, making you smile again and roll your eyes.

“Come here you idiot,” you spoke, reaching out to him.

“Now that’s rude…,” Crowley began before you grabbed the front of his jacket and pulled him down to you, cutting him off with a kiss.

When you pulled away, he smiled, wider than you’d ever seen before.

“I love you,” he finally told you, after all this time.

“I love you too Crowley.”

A/N: Thank you so so much for reading it really does mean a lot!! Please let me know what you think! 😊💕

#good omens #good omens fanfic #Good Omens angst #aziraphale good omens #crowley good omens #anthony j crowley #Anthony janthony Crowley #crowley #Aziraphale #crowley x reader #crowley x gender neutral reader #David Tennant

[ineffablydelighted]

[How exploring the Ineffable Husbands' dynamic in Good Omens can help us figure out what the show/book is all about, Part 1/?]

Also called: This human has, apparently, too much time on her hands and will be trying to Effable the Ineffable for [...] hours.

Ah, Hello! 👋

I'm ineffably delighted to meet you all! 😇

Let's cut to the chase and bear with me as we try together to analyze further the subject of the day:

Aziraphale is in love with Crowley and I am pretty sure he is aware of that fact BUT 

[yes, there is a "but", do not erase me from the Book of Life just yet, let me explain first, homie 🥺] 

I do not believe he can comprehend WHY he is just yet, and what that would mean for him in terms of... well... EVERYTHING he ever stood for.

It will also be the perfect roots to answer the biggest question yet :

What is Good Omens all about, exactly?

[Yeah, it's a tough one. When I say "bear with me", I really insist on the fact that it will be LONG. I will try my best to make it fun to read and to allow some "natural breaks" but know that I would appreciate your unshared attention if you're willing to give it to me. 😇]

Although, would you have the chance to ask him about it (probably looking at a cup of tea as we would all do in Earthy fashion), Aziraphale would have somewhat of an answer to give you, probably in the range of:

"Because, deep down, Crowley is the nicest being I've ever known."

Is it false? No, Crowley IS nice. Swaggeringly nice, occasionally unhinged, but still. Nice.

And that is somewhat the core of the... "problem" for our soon-to-be Supreme Archangel [Yep, the pain is still fresh, thanks for asking, you're welcome for reminding you 😭👍] because, as much as Crowley learned nuances due to past experiences (Falling being, most likely, the most traumatic one,) Aziraphale remains bound to think in absolutes. And everything relates to THIS perfect meme right there:

[Whoever you are, person/entity who has done that, you have forever my utmost gratitude and respect]

I'm far from bringing anything new to the table here, but to Aziraphale, Crowley should NOT have fallen in the first place. Because of how nice he is. Crowley IS an angel, to him. In fact, I'll go even further by stating that, to Aziraphale,

Crowley is more of an Angel than ANY Angel in the "Main Office."

Let's present our other contestants, shall we?

When he ruled, Gabriel was an absolute a** and had an ego the size of, idk, at least A DOZEN GALAXIES. He made Aziraphale feel like... well... poop most of the time they interacted.

That is why, in S2 when Gabriel/Jim tells him "I love you", Aziraphale, even being and considering himself a "creature of love", happens to be utterly unable to either reciprocate or take the compliment. At this moment, later enhanced when he reminds himself of the Job case, he realizes he is able to feel, if not hatred, NOT love NOR admiration for somebody he should somewhat consider a role model.

That is very important for Aziraphale's present and future character development, especially considering Gabriel/Jim's own fate, so please keep that in mind.

Michael? Oh God, Same if not worse: too condescending and ambitious in the wrong way to inspire anything nice to anybody.

Sandalphon just does what they are told but can totally throw a punch if necessary.

Uriel is mostly cold, occasionally cruel, and can also be physically threatening.

[I love the actress, though. Gloria Obianyo deserves a Ph.D. in Resting Bitch Facing for her performance in Good Omens alone and I'm here for it.]

S2 Saraqael seems to be more layered but has also been hurtful to Aziraphale (especially when she ironized that he couldn't possibly be the 25-Lazarii-magnitude-miracle caster).

Overall, S1 Aziraphale refers to the "Main Office" Angels as "BAD ANGELS!" after their hostile encounter. We could see from his face he would have wanted to use harsher words but couldn't get past his forgiving, decent nature.

Before we talk any furfur-ther [Am I proud of this so-called pun? A-BSOLUTELEH 😎🤭], let's add a really important stone/layer to our favorite Angel's thinking: to him, it is simple maths:

GOOD = RIGHT, BAD = WRONG

And let's save it for later, shall we?

[Killgrave dear is just here to remind you you can take a break anytime to drink a glass of Talisker if you'd like, or, more so, if HE'd like. Also because that character is THE best David Tennant role on television - 10th Doctor being the worthy third, I let you guess which character is our second now - and I might have wanted to use this gif just to be able to say that, who knows? *whispers* Mysssteryyyy...]

Anyway.

To a being like Aziraphale, who mostly thinks in dichotomy, being an Angel requires one main requirement: being GOOD.

[Buy a farrrrrm and be good! Not just "pretendy" good but. properly. GOOD! - NO, I couldn't find the gif and YES, I'm mad about it, but since I'm also unable to make one myself, I'll just shut it.]

That is why he refers to the Main Office Archangels as simply being BAD.

At that moment, they had been mean to him, threatening, and, by doing so, they became somewhat active in Hell's Armageddon project. Making them "bad" angels, but, more so:

Bad at BEING Angels.

Aziraphale, on the other hand, is, at heart, the penultimate goody-two-shoes: he does feel bad about himself whenever he does something bad/wrong such as lying (it has started to change, and I'll nuance that statement another time, but you get the grip).

He is constantly scared he might fall whenever he somewhat defies God's will or the idea he built in his head of what an Angel should be(have).

But have you paid attention to how his "Angelmates" NEVER seem to CARE about their own displays of, let's say "unconventional characteristics" for what should be the highest "Representatives of the sole concept of Good"?

Have you ever seen Gabriel or Michael being self-conscious about their narcissism and condescending tendencies? Uriel about their coldness? Saraqael about their sarcastic nature? Any of them about their use of violence? Of course not! They seem to be perfectly fine with it!

They own their characteristics, good AND bad.

Aziraphale does not.

Aziraphale is... soft. Even if he, at times, expresses regrets to be just that, he also applies it to his Angelic nature.

You know who else is soft?

Crowley.

Crowley is soft because he cannot kill children and takes it upon himself to LITERALLY DEFY BOTH GOD AND SATAN'S WILL TO SAVE SAID CHILDREN, including two annoying ones [especially the one who DARED to hit on Aziraphale but that is a topic for another day]

[MASSIVE Bildad the Shuhite fangirl here, consider yourselves warned.]

Crowley is soft because he cannot even kill GOATS.

Defying both God's and Satan's will to save kids? Yeah, eventually, okay.

Defying God's and Satan's will to save goats? Man, that's so effingly. more. powerful.

[Oh, look! A bird flying, normal thingy, nothing to see here, buh-bye!]

Crowley is soft because he proposes/"tempts" Aziraphale to "eat a spot of lunch", especially whenever his Angel experiences stress.

We have barely seen him eat, which might indicate he does not have such a strong taste for it personally. He only goes to the Ritz to enjoy Aziraphale's company and to watch him happily eat scrumptious, comforting foods.

[Okay, also because it morphed into a proper kink at some point but that is NOT today's subject, so stop trying to make me deviate from it! 😣]

Oh, and, before you bring that up, no, the alcohol motive is not relevant since he can, in all probability have a glass of Talisker in ANY sort of pub/restaurant in London.

[As a proper peated whisky lover who happens to be French, let me tell you this is NOT the case in my country and I'm super duper jealous of you, lads.]

Crowley is soft because he takes care of both Gabriel and Aziraphale's bookshop, even if it is clear he loathes the first and expressingly said he would not be a bookseller "even at gunpoint."

And, by "taking care of", know that I MEAN IT: he kept an eye on Jim, didn't wake him up when he heard him snore, answered any question he had, no matter how seemingly stupid they were [Even if Crowley, of all beings, cannot be anything but a raging "There is no stupid question, only stupid answers" representative] and offered him hot cocoa. As for the Booksho-P[uhhhhh *exhales in asthma*], he attempted to repair Jim's messy ordering twice and meticulously rearranged the place after ✨the Ball✨

[What do you mean, "he also Killgraved him into jumping out of the window?" HE ALSO STOPPED HIM FROM DOING SO, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. #NotBiasedInTheSlghtestIndividual]

Crowley is soft because he shares his Bentley with Aziraphale. Which is a VERY. BIG. DEAL. considering it was, at the time, HIS LAST ONE AND ONLY PRIZED POSSESSION.

[Should I mention that the Bentley FALLS IN LOVE with Aziraphale or is debating on whether or not that falls into the Oedipian complex territory off-topic? Yes, I'll see myself out.]

Crowley is soft because he rescues Aziraphale on countless occasions, even though, 99% of the time, that is pretty much unnecessary.

For real, guys: if Aziraphale had been discorporated in the course of his 6000+ years on Earth at any other given moment BUT on the eve of THE WAR with a capital "W", nobody in Heaven would have flinched.

[I do have a theory, though: maybe being re-incorporated takes quite a long time, which would have meant too many years apart from each other, hence the growing Damsel in Distress kink in Aziraphale, idk THAT IS NOT TODAY's SUBJECT, OKAY?!]

Also, Crowley is soft because "doing that makes him so happy".

Do you know who is supposedly "so happy" to save living things, aka GOD'S CREATIONS? Angels.

Crowley is soft because he rescues Aziraphale even when it is ACTUALLY ENDANGERING for both of them

He risked: his life, his pretty comfortable position "he carved out for himself", both his Earthy and Infernal homes sort of speak, AND EVEN HIS CAR to save his Angel's bottom/help him out in the direst situations (like stopping time to stop SATAN HIMSELF.)

[Also his past/present/future existence altogether, but the Bentley is more important, as I'm sure we'll all agree.]

[That is a Class A Protective/Helpful Husband, right there.]

Crowley is soft because he encourages Aziraphale to follow his passion for ✨prestidigitation✨

Even though he is pretty... amateurish at it. Not only does he encourage him, but he also HELPS him when he accepts to be his dashing assistant on stage.

[Yes, he does tell S1 Aziraphale to stop doing magic because he "has no idea how demeaning that is" but I'm pretty sure it was BECAUSE of S2 1941's events. Also, #WeStan1941Crowley here.]

Crowley is soft because he works pretty hard to make two humans he barely knows fall in love.

Yes, he also does it to cover his and Aziraphale's 25-Lazarii-magnitude-miracle lie BUT don't tell me his amazed expression when he thought he was about to witness Nina and Maggie actually falling for each other was not the purest, sincerest of all.

Finally, even if I could come up with more examples,

Crowley is soft because he saved Aziraphale's books JUST because he KNEW and CARED that Aziraphale CARED about said books.

That also, in Michael Sheen's very own opinion [as stated by Neil Gaiman in S1 GO DVD commentary], shared by many fans, and myself very much included, marks the moment

Aziraphale falls in love with Crowley.

[I DARE you to tell me THIS is NOT THE LOOK OF LOVE PERSONIFIED, go on, fight meh.]

So. WHY did it happen at that moment in particular? Well, because, first of all:

As a proper Jane Austen fan, Aziraphale is a slow burner.

Also, to him, an actual Angel, love is everywhere, so differentiating one love from another might be more difficult for somebody who can feel it whether or not it is even their own.

BUT [have you started getting used to my "but"s yet or should I harass you some more?] Let's go back in time to see how every previous encounter (that we know of) led to that pinnacle, shall we?

[Oh and, YES, this sort of essay will be long, and NO, I had no idea how much it would be when I started writing it, and still haven't, tbh 🤷‍♀️]

During part 2, we will also dive a little bit deeper into what Good Omens is all about.

[Yeah... I figured we would all need a break at this point.]

More on that later, then!

Hope I kept your interest at a reasonable peak. See you soon, Angels ❤

Need help to find the rest of this analysis? I've got you covered! Follow me, Angel 😇

Previous - Beginning (you're here) - Next

#Ineffable Husbands #Good Omens analysis #Good Omens #Good Omens S2 #Aziraphale in love #Good Omens theory #Aziraphale #Crowley #Aziracrow #Effable the Ineffable #Philosophy #Good Omens is a philosophical essay disguised as comedic/satyric/romantic Fiction and I am here to prove it #A maniac woke up one morning and decided to overanalyze everything about her current favorite thing #even though that will not help her control her hyperfixation in the slightest #also too many hashtags but you know I have issues already

[spacechalk]

Minute

Through some contrivances known only to the archangel Aziraphale, the representatives of Heaven and Hell were currently huddled together in a rainy field in outer Sheffield, arguing.

            Crowley had shown up ten minutes into the meeting, nominally as “The First and Only Representative of Earth,” but the only thing he had done the entire meeting was stare unblinkingly at Aziraphale. It was giving him a headache, the kind right between your eyes that you got after you had been crying for too long.

            He checked his pocket watch again. He had been trying to do it surreptitiously, but his anxiety was getting the best of him. One minute to go.

            He met Crowley’s eyes.

            Eyebrows pinched together, he raised a fist and ran it up and down to the left of his heart. “Sorry,” he signed.

            Crowley’s eyes widened and then narrowed in concentration. He shot a quick glance at the others, but they were too engrossed in their argument. Expression stormy, he lifted a finger. “What-”

            “No time,” Aziraphale cut him off, tapping his wrist. “I need your help.”

            Crowley was so still Aziraphale thought time had paused for a moment. Every line and angle of him was tense. His scowl was so deep it looked painful. His eyes were fiery behind his glasses. Aziraphale held his breath.

            Crowley did not lay into him. Crowley did not tell him exactly what he could do with himself. Crowley did not tear him a new one. Instead, Crowley lifted his hands and signed in sharp, jerky movements. “With what?”

            Relief flooded through Aziraphale like he had stepped under a waterfall. He could feel his expression brighten, and he tried not to read too much into it that Crowley twitched slightly and his eyebrows softened somewhat at nearly the same moment.

            “New recruits,” he signed. He felt a smile start to bloom across his face. “I’ve found some more representatives for Earth.” As he inscribed the arc to indicate the world, it felt like he truly was encompassing all of it – the moths and the cracked book covers, the mud and the clogged rain gutters, the Thursday afternoons and the motorcycles - between his hands.

            The minute was up.

            Aziraphale felt a desperate flutter in his chest, like a bird trying to escape a fox, and then it was still. Looking around, it was clear the others had felt it too. Crowley rubbed his breastbone.

            “What…” Michael’s expression was pinched. She tilted her head, as though trying to hear distant music.

            Uriel had her hand over her heart. Her expression was shattered. “I can’t feel Heaven anymore,” she said.

            Hastur’s expression cleared with realization. “Oh yeah, I can’t feel Hell anymore,” he said. Panic crawled across his face. “What does that mean-”

            Aziraphale cleared his throat. All eyes fell on him.

            “I’m afraid your administrative privileges have been revoked,” he said, straightening his cuffs and dusting off his coat. He lifted his chin. “You’ll find you no longer have access to your respective agencies.”

            Silence met this pronouncement.

            “What –” Sandalphon choked out. “Do you mean – we’re stuck here?”

            Aziraphale gifted him with a benevolent smile.

            The collective response to this was panic.

            Michael shrieked and looked around at the grass she had been standing on the entire time like it had suddenly turned to lava. Her feet started an ungainly shuffle.

            Hastur fell to his knees and started tearing up chunks of sod with his bare hands, howling.

            Uriel looked around her desperately, taking in the clouds, the rain, the field. “But – but – ” she stammered. “But – what is there to do on this stupid rock?!”

            Aziraphale raised his eyebrows and looked at Crowley. “Sushi?” he suggested. He had missed it so.

            Crowley was trying not to smile, but one corner of his mouth betrayed him. “That might be a little advanced, angel,” he said. Aziraphale’s heart skipped a beat. “Maybe we could start with a ploughman’s?”

            Aziraphale sighed. “Oh, very well.”

#good omens #fanfic #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #but soft what light #for some reason I love the idea of them signing to each other #sign language #I do not speak BSL #feel free to rake me over the coals #why do descriptions of anger all sound like euphemisms

[thesherrinfordfacility]

see, this is what i mean. im not necessarily putting this as, like, a hard-set theory, but i do find the whole thing odd. to summarise thoughts on this and from other posts:

big-ass miracle, ended up registering say between 2500 - 25,000 times the strength of a normal miracle, and was done with the intention of each of them hiding gabriel from the other's former side so noone ever notices him

michael seems to register that there is Something Off in ep2, which as @jmourning rightly pointed out, may have been because of the fly going around with the Essence of Gabriel inside (and i do, upon reflection, think this is key here so bear with)

muriel recalls an assistant in ep5 (despite him being upstairs because the bookshop is always closed on wednesdays) but confirms they never saw him. now, could be that they eavesdropped on the conversation, but again - like the above - think it might be them sensing a Presence (ie the buzz buzz), and just assuming it was the assistant... basically just one big confusion

shax can sense something in the shop at the end of ep3, which i do think is genuine. she then verifies that it's gabriel by tricking aziraphale in ep4

crowley then assumes, and informs the group (and the audience) that the reason that the miracle was so successful is because he and aziraphale did it in synchronisation, together, etc. this reflects on his "well done us!" line in ep5, but i think the assumption we've taken is that the miracle was so powerful because of them doing it together.

so here's my tinfoil hat reasoning:

aziraphale and crowley were hand in hand with the shell that used to be gabriel (jim). gabriel was already in the fly at that point, so presumably the miracle didn't actually affect gabriel - only jim*. so, in a way - did the miracle actually work? because if michael and shax (and possibly muriel) are still able to sense gabriel, that would indicate that the miracle took, but not on gabriel. gabriel was in the fly, not in jim.

the angels and demons dismiss jim, especially when he's going around saying outright that he's gabriel, possibly because a) 'well i can't trace any 'gabriel' in him, so obviously not, shut up', and possibly a bit more fancifully (?) b) i think neil has said that in heaven, they do not use their human forms - even if that's what we see - so would michael et al. actually recognise his human face? they've never been on earth with him in the same scene, only sandalphon.

*a miracle of some kind did happen. we have incontrovertible proof of that, right? well...

if gabriel was in the fly, but it was jim's hands they were holding, was something... or someone... a fragment... in jim that caused a shockwave to the tune of 25 lazarii? okay frankly - did they just hide, or attempt to hide, the almighty?

(again, biiiig thank you to @jmourning for the heads up on the fly - i think it's bang on!!!)

#god? are you there? its me- jim #good omens #25 lazarii theory #s2 meta #god is dead theory #maybe? #trying to find where neil said about whether angels are in human form in heaven but i might have made it up? #would make sense tho that they are in angel/true form in heaven tho

[hyenasnake]

I’d like to talk about how the long term effects of trauma are represented by angels in Good Omens.

Before I begin; I’m aware trauma manifests in many different ways. I have been diagnosed with PTSD by a professional and I am in therapy for that among other things. Please keep in mind nuance as we dive into this as I’m talking about how trauma manifests in a handful of named individuals and not discussing the experience of every single traumatized person ever.

Anyway, here we go.

Looking at Gabriel in Season One and Season Two is such a trip. In season one, though he was fairly naive and kind of a dumbass as people noted, he was far from innocent. He was a complete asshole to everyone he interacted with who wasn’t on his level (on his level meaning people like Michael and Sandalphon). He refuses to show attachment or even attraction to anything that isn’t considered celestial. Even when he says he likes Earth’s clothes, he tries not to show much sadness or disappointment at the fact that they won’t be around much longer because of Armageddon.

But so far in what we’ve seen of Season two, Gabriel still keeps his naive and spacey nature, but to a far greater extent. He’s a total innocent now, fascinated by the world around him and getting distracted at every turn. Again, this is based on sneak peaks and trailers, so we’ll see how things turn out in season 2 once it airs, but this is my analysis for now. The only thing that’s really changed is that he’s lost all his memories.

Memories are an important thing. They make us who we are, for better or for worse. They contain our greatest moments and our lowest points. Pain and laughter carefully woven together to make a living thing. Without memories, a person is as much a blank slate as they were the moment they were born—complete innocence and naivety without really any painful experiences. Think about how young children are before they experience the cruelty of the world. They’re a lot like Gabe, right?

Trauma is scientifically proven to alter our very bodies. Of course, It alters our minds even more. I’ve been traumatized. I’ve seen trauma turn the kindest people into angry individuals who turn on anyone who slights them before they can turn on them. Trauma also gets worse without treatment.

Think about The Fall. Infinitely traumatic for both sides. Nobody trusting each other, friends and family fighting each other, betraying each other, even killing each other. Friends and Family thrown into the Abyss and those who remained in heaven told to forget them, that they are the enemy.

Six thousand years of untreated trauma, only strengthened by the constant premonition of fighting to the death. The war is the only closure either side is going to get. All of these angels and demons have become hardened and jaded by their shared trauma. Beings of Love have become Monsters transformed by their shadow selves.

This is just the ramblings of a traumatized autistic person but I have to applaud @neil-gaiman on this portrayal of long-untreated trauma and what happens when that trauma is suddenly gone.

#good omens #archangel gabriel #trauma #short essay #ptsd #autism #the fall

[sparrowsortadrawzzz]

Okay I’m on another thought train and you are the designated person to travel with me on these trips. So. Consider. Reverse omens, right? Classic. Sometimes it’s all the angels and demons flipped, sometimes it’s just the husbands. But consider. Reverse omens but ONLY ineffable bureaucracy gets switched. If anything I think this has the possibility to be the MOST interesting variation of this au because, like, if only Aziraphale and Crowley are switched it changes some things but they’re like…middle to upper-middle class in terms of ranking? Not much about the structure of how things work in heaven and hell changes. Everyone gets switched? More variation but arguably too many moving parts and characters to keep track of. Just Beelzebub and Gabriel (or as Beez would probably called according to our headcanons Zuriel. And …whatever Gabriel is called in this. Any thoughts?) get switched? Throws the whole system into chaos! Like here’s how I see it. Season 1 Gabriel was a total asshole. No doubts about it. Heaven was institutionally fucked up and half of it was probably his fault. Beelzebub though? I’ve always had more of an impression that hell was bad because it’s, y’know, hell. Not that Beelzebub themself was an awful boss. Like aside from killing Eric that one time and yelling a bunch they actually seem like a pretty fair boss. Just evil because that’s their job. So like in this universe hell would be like…infinitely worse. But heaven? I feel like it would actually be substantially less fucked up with Beelzebub calling the shots. The other archangels and the metatitty would likely still cause problems as always but I genuinely don’t think it would be as bad. Crowley likely has a bunch of trauma now so oops but like Aziraphales boss is pretty chill so he likely isn’t as messed up as usual. They probably do still have that firm belief in Armageddon and all that but there probably less “we’ll kill you if you don’t go along with this. pick a side Aziraphale” about it and more “Look man I’ve been ignoring you and my brothe- (yes I’m bringing ssiblingzz shit into this. You probably know my brainrot well enough by now to have guessed I would.) Crowley’s shit for millennia I can’t do that any more. It’s time to fight. Please stop being stubborn I don’t wanna have kill you you’re the only bitch I respect up here.” (Beelzebub has always seemed more aware of Aziraphale and Crowley’s situation than Gabe so I kind of think in this situation they’d actually be the type to turn a blind eye to it?)

I do have more thoughts but I need to make food so enjoy this for now and share any of your ideas. I’ll probably be back soon with more.

OOOOOH WAIT YOUVE GOT A POINT THERE- I think Gabe would be some demon like perhaps Camio (from googling, he seems to be "Demon of persuassion and communication", which seems very up his alley, and his Wikipedia article mentioned him being leader of a bunch of demons, so it makes sense-), and he'd treat Hastur, Shax, and Ligur like he treats Uriel, Michael, and Sandalphon. Beez would for sure be dry, and tired, but I think ze'd be a pretty good boss too- the other Archangels may treat zir with an actual respect! ze might also give Aziraphale some slack for interacting with Crowley, since a) it's zir brother, and b) ze might understand how he feels 👀 Demon!Gabe (Cammy?) tho, he'd smell more of plastic-promises, be more manipulative and conniving, and maybe even be more in his element, cuz being a demon doesn't take a "I'm smart and mighty, follow me" mentality, it takes an obey-or-die mentality. I mean, "t-o-s-t...e. TOAST!!" put great emphasis on that ADHFH- (also him possibly being considered as Lucifer's brother? and fellow starmaker with Angel!Crowley?? SO MANY ANGST OPPORTUNITIES-) however, he would probably be extra with keeping track of the intentions of Crowley's miracles, and yeahh poor Crowbro may be kinda frucked up even more-

I think once he sees how Zuriel actually cares about him and sees him as someone other than a big scary demon, as an actual friend and companion who understands him, he puts down his guard and fight-or-flight, and changes for the better with zir. (maybe he didn't particularly enjoy having to manipulate and scare others into doing what he'd been ordered to do, but had to in order to survive? or maybe he and his possible brother team up and are conniving little shits, whatever you think is best ^^)

THANK YOU FOR SHARING ALL OF THIS WITH ME I LOVE YOUR HEADCANONS ADN STUFF SO MUCHVAHFJDHG

#the birds have spoken #YIPPEE MOOTS #YIPPEE FLOSS #good Omens #good omens swap au #beelzebub good omens #gabriel good omens #ineffable bureaucracy #reverse bureaucracy #ssiblingzz

[bil-daddy]

Hi Bildad. I know this isn't at all what your Tumblr is for, but I don't have anyone IRL to talk to about this, and my husband reads AITA. If you want to just leave this in your inbox unanswered, that is ok.

Today during an argument, my husband told me that he has not been attracted to me since we got married (20 years ago!) Around that time I started on antidepressants and they caused me to gain some weight and then I gained some more weight. Currently I am 5'6" and 190lbs.

He has hinted at this a couple times over the course of our marriage and frequently turns me down for sex (one time we went a whole year without any sexual activity). He said that he has never been completely honest about this before because it would hurt my "fragile ego" and send me into an "emotional spiral".

When we were first married, he was in good shape, but about ten years ago, he started putting on weight, too. He is currently 6'0" and 260lbs. He says that he knows that it's not fair, but he's just being honest about how he feels.

Currently I'm considering getting bariatric surgery, vs trying to do my best to diet and exercise while working full time and raising three kids with him, vs calling it quits and trying to find someone who likes my body the way it is. I have a fairly high sex drive and I'm feeling very frustrated.

Again, sorry for venting here. Not something I'd be willing to admit to family or friends but just needed to get it off my chest and this seems like a safe space.

Hi, anon. Sorry you're going through this.

Now, to paraphrase AITA (and r/relationship_advice, and r/relationships) You don't have a weight problem. You have a husband problem.

It shouldn't take a midwife to know that bodies change after giving birth and it seems you've done that three times. And that's not even getting into the normal weight gain that comes with aging. Nobody looks the same as they looked 20 years ago (well, unless you're an immortal being--which I am definitely not by the way, 100% totally human shoemaker obstetrician right here)

Your husband knows this. He's aged and gained weight, too. And not to get all Freudian, but I'm betting his criticisms of you are actually projection of how he feels about himself. (Especially the "fragile ego" and "emotional spiral" part. Such classic projection it might as well be an old silent film.)

He probably didn't mean what he said about not being attracted to you for your entire twenty-year marriage, if you two were arguing when he said it. It was just something he knew he could say to hurt you in the moment.

That's not an excuse, by the way. Every relationship is gonna have fights (don't ask me how I know), but you shouldn't be fighting dirty against the person you love. Fuck nasty, sure. But not fight dirty.

Speaking of which, sex drives often wax and wane over the course of lifetimes, and relationships, and a group of two's respective shifts don't always line up. Still, if there's an ongoing mismatch then the couple should do their best to figure out a compromise that works for both of them.

Is your husband doing this?

Is he doing half the childcare so you have the free time to exercise?And relax, too, because you won't have the energy to exercise if you're too tired from work and childcare.

Is he doing half the grocery shopping, meal planning, and cooking so your whole family can eat a healthy diet?

Is he trying to get back into shape and lose weight himself?

And finally, the hard (pun intended) one--is he cutting back on "pornography!" (to quote Sandalphon) so he can direct the majority of his sexual energy towards you? Has he checked with a doctor about his testosterone levels? Blood flow?

You don't have to tell me, but the answers to these questions might tell you whether your husband is putting enough effort into your marriage to make it worth saving, versus calling it quits and finding someone who will appreciate your body the way it is--and there are many people who will (just ask @mrazfellco about my obsession with his belly and thick thighs)

But the most important person who needs to appreciate your body the way it is isn't your husband or a hypothetical post-divorce boyfriend. The most important person who needs to appreciate your body is you.

And so you need to do whatever it is that will make you feel good about yourself. That might be diet and exercise. That might be bariatric surgery. That might just be losing 260 pounds of husband.

But whatever it is, it needs to be for you.

Hope this helps.

Good luck to you, and have an ox rib (platonic)

#bildaddy answers #life advice from bildaddy #results may vary #just like in the bible bildad the shuhite arrives to offer his counsel to a friend going through it

[queerfables]

I LOVE picking at Christianity (my major is Abrahamic Religions lmao), but in a Good Omens context I always feel the need to point out that Neil and Terry had "no horse in this race" either- the condemning of homosexuality thing is a uniquely Christian interpretation, and Good Omens is a satire of Christianity written by an atheist and a Jewish person. There's another part of the book where Aziraphale criticizes Christianity as a whole for the commercialization of religion. So given the repeated emphasis on Aziraphale's association with queerness, and that GO doesn't shy away from critiquing religion, maybe we are meant to take this one at face Christian value. Especially considering that Sandalphon becomes outright violent with Aziraphale. The scene in the book where Aziraphale brings THIS up as an example of Heaven's cruelty, not Job or the Flood, and they sit in tense, solemn silence for a minute can be reinterpreted in the show as the 1967 scene, where Aziraphale gives Crowley a suicide pill the same year that sodomy became decriminalized in the UK. The constant theme of them being fearful of getting caught and Crowley mentioning having to pretend they're not a couple. You're right about Sodom and Gomorrah- but I think it's intended to be a homophobia thing, here.

Hmm, this is a complicated one because like - I do think that on some level, themes are more important than facts in the way Good Omens approaches Christianity. But also, Neil Gaiman has read the Bible. And I just don't see any way that you can read the story of Sodom and Gomorrah and think that a queer person would identify themselves with the rapists who died there.

There are stories where queer people are villainised but in a queer reading remain sympathetic, and it turns their fate into a tragedy. This really isn't one of them. It isn't even about queer people. The sexual acts threatened are all about cruelty and power.

In my opinion, the right wing Christian understanding of Sodom and Gomorrah is damaging to the queer community precisely because it characterises violent gang rape as a reasonable commentary on queer relationships. I don't know if you can take the story at face Christian value and still effectively satirise Christian homophobia. That said, and probably this is what you mean, I do think you can rewrite the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah to be about unjust punishment for queer love if you reframe the story that appears in the Bible as outrageous propaganda that's covering up something else.

My favourite version of this is one that totally doubles down on that horror of getting caught that you're talking about. This isn't what I think Neil would do with the story if he ever revisited it in depth, and it's soooo fucking tragic, but it would add so much baggage to Crowley and Aziraphale's dynamic that I can't help spinning it around in my mind like a pinwheel.

Like, ok, I know it's early, so early in their 6000 year situationship, but what if there was something between Crowley and Aziraphale, even then? I mean, what if something happened between them? And what if, that night in Sodom, Sandalphon found out?

It's a nightmare thought. It makes me feel sick to even contemplate. Knowing how the story ends - for Sodom and Gomorrah, for Crowley and Aziraphale - it's impossible not to see the consequences spiralling out from this mistake.

Sandalphon knows. Every interaction with him from then on becomes fraught with the secret he's holding over Aziraphale. Even if Sandalphon likes the prolonged fear and leverage he gets out of keeping this to himself more than the sadistic joy of outing Aziraphale, Aziraphale's fate is still in the hands of someone who despises him. He's never going to feel safe again.

Sodom and Gomorrah are razed to the ground. In the story's telling, the people who died are transformed into monsters, even though their only sin was shielding a demon who dared to know an angel.

(And Crowley tries, for them. He refuses their shelter. He tells them to believe whatever they hear about him. He flees into the night and hopes that when Sandalphon catches up he'll be far enough from the city to make a difference. But they know Crowley, round these parts. They know men like Sandalphon, too. When Sandalphon questions them on where Crowley is, not a single person will talk.

Aziraphale tries, too. Before he ran, Crowley took all the blame onto himself, taunting Sandalphon as though he'd forced himself on Aziraphale, a last desperate bid to protect him. But Aziraphale sees the holy fury in Sandalphon's eyes as he presses the people for answers, and he can't let anyone else suffer for him. He tells Sandalphon the truth. He begs Sandalphon to spare the city. And when Sandalphon looks at him with calm contempt and doesn't say a single word, Aziraphale realises he already knew.

Sodom and Gomorrah are razed to the ground, and Crowley and Aziraphale watch them burn. Crowley is Lot's wife, looking back on the destruction, and to be turned into a pillar of salt would be a kindness. Aziraphale is Lot's son-in-law, unable to get out, unable to believe it's happening until it's raining down around him.

The people of Sodom hold their ground. Sandalphon decides they're beyond saving. If they won't give Crowley up, they can burn for his crimes in his stead.)

It's their transgression but they aren't the ones paying the cost. And the cost is too fucking high. That's the whole story, right there. They are never going to talk about this. There isn't anything to say. For as long as they are an angel and a demon - for as long as they belong to Heaven and Hell - they are never going to touch each other again.

#good omens #good omens meta #good omens fic #ish?? type thing?? #fable talks good omens #fable answers #anon ask

[mrhyde-mrseek]

We all know demons are associated with animals: Crowley with snakes, Beelzebub with flies, Dagon with fish, etc. But what about angels, or humans?

In other words, I’m bored and I like speculating on symbolic associations of characters.

(Note: I didn’t include Sandalphon because try as I might, I could not think of an animal that reminds me of him. Like, at all.)

Aziraphale: A lion.

Aziraphale is a guardian by nature, and while he’s quite peaceful most of the time, he‘ll do whatever it takes to protect the people he loves. Lions are associated with protection, and I also think their big floofy manes suit our favorite angel very well.

Gabriel: An ice pigeon.

I’ve seen so many people associated Gabriel with pigeons, and I used to think, “no, wouldn’t a peacock be more fitting? They’re so pompous-looking and flashy!” until my dumb ass finally remembered that they were (are?) used to carry messages. Whoops. But I chose an ice pigeon specifically because I found a picture of one with gorgeous silver-grey feathers that just screamed Gabriel.

Michael: A secretary bird.

There’s not much of an analytical reason behind this choice, they just LOOK like Michael. They’re also apparently called killer queens and stomp on their prey to kill it, which also seems like a Michael-ish thing.

Uriel: A barn owl.

I think Uriel is associated with wisdom (I’m not religious and I’m relying purely on Google for this stuff). Barn owls are one of Athena’s symbols, Athena being the goddess of wisdom. By extension, barn owls (or owls in general, I suppose) are also associated with wisdom.

Anathema: A black cat.

This one was pretty obvious. Black cats have deep ties with witches, and are seen as omens of misfortune. According to the dictionary, the word anathema means “someone or something intensely disliked or loathed” or “one that is cursed by ecclesiastical authority.” I think this one speaks for itself.

Newt: A Labrador Retriever.

Newt’s always given me dog person energy (although would he ever own a dog?). Now, I have a dog who’s part Lab, and like Newt, he’s very sweet, but also very accident-prone. Labs are smart dogs, and Newt is a total computer geek. He just . . . likes electronics way more than they like him.

Adam: A dog.

What breed? Any breed, though probably a terrier because of Dog. Dogs represent loyalty and trust, and although Adam was meant to conquer the world, all he ever wanted was Tadfield. He loves his home and his friends, and would do anything to keep them around.

Pepper: A honey badger.

Honey badgers are vicious. They may be small, but when cornered, the will savagely attack whatever predator has cornered them. Pepper is prepared to fight anyone who threatens her or her rights—even the literal embodiment of war herself—which is pretty badass, if you ask me.

Wensleydale: An elephant.

Wensley is the most studied and matter-of-fact of the Them, and frequently spouts his knowledge to his friends. Amongst other things, elephants symbolize wisdom and memory. They’re unbelievably clever creatures, having the largest brains of any land animal, and have also been proven to have excellent memories.

Brian: A bear.

While I was tempted to say a dog for Brian as well, as dogs represent loyalty, I settled for a bear. Bears symbolize friendship. If I’m remembering correctly, Brian’s narrated introductions begins with, “Everyone needs a Brian.” He’s a sweet boy, and is incredibly devoted to his friends.

(I’m going to make the Horsepeople their own post because I was going to include them here, but I hit the photo limit.)

#good omens #aziraphale good omens #gabriel good omens #archangel gabriel #michael good omens #archangel michael #uriel good omens #archangel uriel #anathema #anathema device #newton pulsifer #newt pulsifer #adam young #pepper good omens #wensleydale good omens #brian good omens #the them #animal symbolism #animals #good omens headcanons

[archangelween]

Angel Rings: Very few wear one on the same finger.

I've seen a bunch of claims that "all angels" or "most with a few exceptions" wear a gold ring on their left pinky, and thus they're an office signet. This is not true. If you are looking at the easy to see times, you're being led astray because the rings have moved between s1 to s2 and the rings themselves may have changed too. Some angels also have silver rings, they're not exclusively gold even in s1.

To sum up the rings situation:

Gabriel: no rings.

Muriel: no rings.

Metatron: no rings.

Michael: right pinky s1, to left pinky s2. Same gold with pearls. Shows up after Job in s2, though this may only be true in the Adam-reboot-timeline. We don't see angels in the past in s1.

Uriel: s1, right index (rose gold band, silver star setting?) and left middle (gold); s2, right index (silver star) and left pinky (gold). Possibly not the same rings from s1 to s2.

Sandalphon: s1, gold brutalist left pinky; not in s2.

Saraqael: not in s1; gold left ring finger.

Azpiraphale: right pinky, gold lion, both seasons. Shows up before Eden in s1, after BTB in s2.

Other people: In s1, the quartermaster has none and platoon troops don't seem to have any, neither do any of the angels in the s2 Job minisode. Random angel in s1 has a right silver pinky ring.

S1, of those with rings, only Sandalphon lacks a ring on their right hand. Only Sandalphon and Uriel have rings on their left.

S2, of those with rings, only Aziraphale lacks a ring on the left hand. Only Aziraphale and Uriel have a ring on the right.

From s1 to s2, angel rings appear to have swapped sides, right to left. Perhaps this is a yinyang thing?

Details:

If we are speculating that a right pinky denotes being gay, as Aziraphale wears his, Michael would be gay in s1 then not in s2? That doesn't make sense, especially since it's s2 that we see Michael possibly having a relationship with Dagon. I think that relationship existed before the fall, personally; they could have given it up, but it still does not make sense for the rings to swap sides if they mean signet/gay.

Uriel has two rings, neither on her left pinky. At least one is gold, the other may be silver but I don't know. The gold is on her left middle, and the other is on her right index, in s1. Below, s1e1.

In s1e4 above, I am fairly sure the second ring on her index is not gold, and probably silver, simply because the gold in this show is really obvious and this one is hard to define. It may be rose gold, but I don't think so. This is the same hand and finger that a ring is on in the new promo poster, so I think this is supposed to be that star ring and thus silver. However, that new poster is quite obviously silver, and this shot here is not obviously silver, so perhaps there was a change between s1 and that new s2 poster. Part of the ring band does look rose gold though, but I don't know if that's an artifact from blowing it up. I don't think it's an artifact, it's too clean a look on the band.

This Uriel photo is from s2, which definitely has a ring on their left pinky, which is NOT there in s1. I think it's there in the promo photo with the star ring. Things definitely changed between s1 and s2 regarding the rings.

Similarly, this Michael photo is from s2. That is her left hand, left pinky.

HOWEVER, in s1e4, here are her hands and rings: it's on her right pinky. You can see a random angel here has a silver ring on their right pinky.

No other ring on Michael's right during s2:

It is not correct that all angels wear them on the same hands or same fingers. They did not in s1, and they do not in s2. Things also changed between s1 and s2. Why they changed, who knows. Surely not everyone decided they were tired of fashion at once.

I think this is more evidence that when Adam rebooted the world, something significant changed. Supernaturals seem to be immune to "timeline changes" unless directly acted on like Adam did to Satan so they do not know what the change is. I have been speculating that the fall didn't happen. The war could still have happened, but perhaps the fall didn't. Or maybe even the war didn't happen.

So, by s2, Michael and Uriel both have a gold left pinky ring, and maybe Sandalphon will too. I don't think we can draw any conclusions because Saraqael doesn't have that, theirs is still on the left hand, and Uriel still has that extra ring. The left pinky means something, but I don't think it means "proper angel". They all would have had that in s1, and they did not. It means SOMETHING, but not that.

I kind of think the jewelry, like their face paint and possibly their clothing, might manifest outside their control? Like how Aziraphale's showed up when he was discorporated. Their corporations are a result of their "real" supernatural being, they reflect their "real" selves. I don't want to say "it's how god would dress them" but I feel like how they want to act, how they want to dress....is what god intended. I don't have any other explanation for why they'd take off their gold face paint to menace Aziraphale on earth and then stick it back on after that to burn him in hellfire.

#good omens #rings

[darthbreezy]

'''Us...''

A short story.

***

'He spoke very fondly of you, you know...'' Aziraphale murmured as he leaned back into the Bentley's seat, his eyes closed. ''And that he remembers what you did for him... and how much it still means to him...''

Crowley made a noise in his throat, but didn't so much as turn his head. He wasn't ready to broach that particular subject yet, what with Aziraphale only having been back for less than a day - a night really - and things still felt fragile and raw. Yes, Aziraphale was back, (home if you will,) and Heaven was now under 'new management' so to speak - Yeshua Ben Joseph, also known as Her Son, had opted to pass on the Second Coming (''Was it a 'Nah'? Crowley had asked bitterly, much to the angel's confusion.) and take over operations in Heaven itself. This much Aziraphale had told him before Crowley had very effectively put an end to that discussion.

It was amazing how quickly a kiss (among other, less verbal things) change the trajectory of a conversation, but now, here on the A3 to Brighton, he wanted to bring it up again.

''He asked me to serve as a... a consultant,'' Aziraphale continued slowly, eliciting a grunt from Crowley. ''Not remaining upstairs, mind you,'' he added quickly, seeing Crowley's fingers tighten on the steering wheel, his knuckles whitening. ''Just meeting up and discussing things in a... well, not as the Former Supreme Arch Angel of course...''

''Of course not,'' Crowley echoed drily. ''Just a casual meet up with Christ, HER Son! Just pop down to the Wetherspoons there in Guildford for a pint!'' His tone became acidic. ''I'll just nip over to Maccas for some 'fries' and a 'burger' while you two have a 'chin wag', shall I'?''

Aziraphale's voice remained soft as he gently placed a hand on Crowley's knee. ''No, of course not.'' He considered and then added with a sniff. 'Well, not a Wetherspoons, anyway...''

Without warning, the Bentley (which had quietly been playing the overture to Mozart's 'Marriage of Figaro') suddenly cut in with a deafening chorus of Queen's 'You're my Best Friend' as Crowley swerved off the road in to a (miraculous) lay-by. He stared at Aziraphale, his eyes not full of anger, but raw hurt.

Aziraphale reached up to cup Crowley's chin with his other hand, as the Bentley's radio clicked itself off. ''Oh my Dear boy,'' he said leaning in to plant a tender kiss on Crowley's fore-head. Crowley closed his eyes, and allowed it. ''It's nothing like that. I so wanted to talk to you about this last night but,'' he paused, suddenly colouring. ''Well, it wasn't as important as other things...''

Another grunt from Crowley, who's eyes were tightly closed, his whole body tense as if he were expecting a blow. It broke Aziraphale's heart a little. ''It never will be,'' he finished quietly. ''I made it perfectly clear to them that the only thing I wanted was - if you'd still have me - was to be an us...''

Crowley took the hand that was cradling his cheek into his own, and kissed the palm before letting it go. ''Fair enough,'' he sighed. ''But you do want to do, well, this 'consulting thing' for Heaven then...

Aziraphale pointed at the roadway. ''Can we leave it for now?'' he asked, almost pleading. ''I just want a little overdue 'us' time.''

Crowley nodded as he eased the Bentley back into traffic. ''Give me the Petites bouchées, then. from here to Petworth so it's not hanging there all weekend.''

''Right then,'' said Aziraphale, fiddling with his bow-tie with his right hand while his left remained firmly attached to Crowley's thigh. ''Well, you know about the truce between Heaven and Hell, and how Raphael, Saraqeal and Sandalphone (and here, he gave a little shiver) are going to be the initial ambassadors-''

Crowley snorted. ''Should have appointed Micheal. She would have been right at home!''

''Oh, that was one thing I did suggest to Yeshua,'' the angel replied with a gleam in his eye. ''But he thinks that Heaven is so terribly out of touch with humanity, that there needs to be a... 'personnel training course' of a kind. A human apprenticeship, if you will. angels - including Arch angels - will be sent to Earth to do blessings and generally try to learn about Her beloved creations firsthand...''

Crowley arched an eyebrow. ''You're not suggesting -''

''I'm not suggesting anything,'' Aziraphale said primly. ''However, I am saying Micheal had been rather pushy about promotions and important positions -''

Now Crowley burst out laughing. ''So where is Micheal going?''

''The southern United States, I believe.'' He replied with a grin, not even attempting to hide his delight. ''I believe she's been assigned to a small church somewhere - I didn't get the finer points. Uriel is going to be taking over Scrivener duties for a while as quite a few of them volunteered for Earth assignments. Muriel's reports have made quite an impression...''

Crowley nodded, then pointed a a sign for a Winery up ahead. ''Wanna wrap this up for now, Angel? Looks like a good as a place as any to stock up.''

''Sounds lovely,'' Aziraphale agreed. ''I'd like to get a gift for... Well, a friend.''

The mood in the car immediately darkened as Crowley thinned his lips. They'd reached that sore spot.

Well. best to rip that plaster off and be done with it.

''So, is Yeshua going to be requiring his own room at the bookshop?'' Crowley asked tightly. ''Perhaps an office away from home?''

Aziraphale rolled his eyes, and sighing heavily, he moved his hand higher up Crowley's thigh and gave it a squeeze. If the Bentley hadn't been used to its driver's erratic driver's habits, they may well have ended up in the ditch. ''Don't be ridiculous, you silly old serpent. You did him a kindness the last time -''

''Not as many as Magdalene,'' he muttered, colouring even as he regained control of the car. Aziraphale just shook his head.

''You showed him the entire world!''

''It was supposed to be a temptation!''

''Well, in any case, he's kept that... that beauty of the world in his heart for the last two thousand years. In effect, you saved the world again!''

''But you were... oh for someone's sake!'' Crowley huffed. ''Angel, I don't want to drown in mutual sycophancy - get to the point.''

''He'd like your help,'' Aziraphale said at last. ''We would like your help.''

''You know how I feel, Angel...'' Crowley replied after a moment. his throat tight and voice full of pain. ''Please...''

Aziraphale nodded and to Crowley's surprise he was smiling. ''I do, and so does Yeshua. He asked me to ask you to meet him in person before you gave a final answer. ''

Crowley swallowed hard. ''I guess having even a short time where we could even pretend to be just Us was too much to ask for.''

''Where do you want us to go?'' Aziraphale said suddenly. ''Anywhere in time or space, you and me - just say the word!''

''What about -'' but before he could finish a thought, Crowley found himself being pulled into a very passionate kiss. When he was finally released, he found that the Bentley had happily pulled into the Winery's car park.

''Anywhere!'' Aziraphale repeated, his eyes shining, and he kissed Crowley again for good measure. ''Us...''

''Us...'' Crowley agreed, kissing the angel back. ''All right. when we get back to London, we'll plan to meet for a drink.''

''Wonderful!'' Aziraphale cried, pleased as punch. ''There's a wonderful new Curry house in Brick Lane, they have a dish that's labelled 'Hellfire', and if you can eat it without asking for milk, they take your photo for their wall, and you get a lovely dessert for free!''

Crowley arched a curious eyebrow as they walked to the winery's entrance together. ''And where did you hear about this place? Surely they don't have restaurant reviews 'upstairs'?''

''Oh, of course not,'' Aziraphale replied, taking his hand. ''Yeshua told me about it. He's quite the fan...''

#crowley #good omens #aziraphale #fanfic #ineffable husbands