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callme-secret · 2 years

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Odly specific things I headcannon for marauders and co. Part 1.

Remus Lupin

-will either drink coffee with 10 scoops of sugar and half a cup of milk, or just black there is no in-between.

-randomly quotes lines form books only he's read

-confuses romantic interest for panic attacks "you don't get it James, I think my hearts I going to explode." "Mate it's just a crush."

-absolutely loathes peanut butter mixed with chocolate, thinks it tastes like feet

-is mildly allergic to dogs, so not only does he get sniffles around Sirius, but he also gets allergies around the full moon.

-introduced the marauders to muggle rock and roll and then instantly regretted it.

-gets weirdly into April fool's day. Like any other day of the year he's chill with his pranks, but on the first of April even Dumbledore keeps an eye out for the young Lupin.

-had a chill emo phase. Like listened to edgy music, painted his nails, thought about piercing his ear for a solid mintue before Sirius had an identity crisis and he had to stop.

-there's a random hufflepuff that uses the hogwarts kitchen to bake. They don't ever talk, but she always leaves him extra treats when she knows he's gonna come to the kitchens

-has a favorite house elf who works at hogwarts. His name is Jonsy, and he absolutely adores Remus.

-cant stand sour food. Will litterly cry if he's given a lemon head. Sirius found out about this, and Remus didn't eat for a weak out of fear

-bought a muggle camera. James broke it. Bought another one. Petter broke it. He stopped buying cameras.

-doesn't actually celebrate Christmas, but still gets gifts for the boys.

-has no idea what quidditch is about or how to play, but goes to all of the Gryffindor matches

-lowkey a romantic.

-the first years hover around him sometimes because they know they can't get hit by a marauder pranked if they're by him

-also because if he's feeling nice he gives them chocolate

-everyone thinks he's a massive book worm but he hasn't finished a book since seocund year, at this point he just carries it around to seem cool

-bought a leather jacket for himself, hated it, gave it to Sirius as a "late birthday" gift.

-there's a stray cat by his house that he's been trying to befriend for five years. Ithayes him and scratches him if he gets to close. (It loves his dad tho)

-his favorite color is Sage green.

-actually played football as a kid. Broke his leg. Never played again.

-enjoys showtunes

-has a full collection of chocolate frog cards. It is his prize possession.

-sent back the prefect bage when he first got it with a letter that simply said "no." McGonagall sent it back, with a letter that said "yes."

-HAS GOD AWFUL HANDWRITING

-Likes to stare at clouds

-naps all the time

-one time in his secound year he tripped in front of a group of ravenclawes, and sometimes he still thinks about it, hes still embarrassed

-sleep talks, sometimes Sirius and James talk back for fun. "Sirius did you know that you have a nose?" "Very observant Moony." "Why is it so big?" "oi, wHAT-"

-Is petty. Like really petty.

-almost got a tattoo, chickened out last second, now has a permanent line on his shoulder.

-has cursed out a professor. Will not do it again. He cried after.

-genuinely forgets that his body needs things to function. James has to carry a water bottle specifically for Remus.

-a girl in their class called him Remy once and he gagged.

-had a first year confess her love for him when he was in his seventh year. He ran to Lily, cried, and then avoided the first year for months

DONE

#james & peter & remus & sirius #remus lupin #remus x reader #marauders era au #marauders headcanon #hp marauders #marauders era imagine #harry potter marauders #marauders #the maraunders map #harry potter x reader #harry potter #sirius orion black #james potter #peter pettigrew #lily evans

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barnesbabee · 4 years

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Peekaboo || P.S

Summary: Someone’s always looking...

Pairing: Park Seonghwa x Reader

Words: Waaaay too many

Genre: Smut, Angst

⚠ drugs, alcohol, violence, fighting, yandere!Seonghwa, degradation kink ⚠

A/N: I do not condone violence neither do I romanticize it, I just wanted to do a yandere concept like shown in anime, that being said, Enjoy 💖

P.S: I deleted this one before because tumblr was messing up with the tags and few people were able to read this one apparently...

ᴄʀᴇᴅɪᴛ

ᴘᴇᴇᴋᴀʙᴏᴏ! ᴏᴘᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇʏᴇꜱ, ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ'ꜱ ʟᴏᴏᴋɪɴɢ ᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ...

[18th February, 2019]

You couldn't tell, of course, but you constantly had a pair of eyes glued to the back of your head. A pair of hungry, lusting, shimmering eyes. You didn't know him, but he knew every detail and every inch of your body and personality.

He knew your favourite songs, your favourite ice cream flavour, the type of clothes you preferred, and what kind of places you'd go to when you weren't having classes at your university.

He'd first seen you when you arrived late to a class. The male remembered it like it had been just recently, and not almost months past. It was the very first day, and you were late. You came in the classroom, huffing and puffing from all the running, cheeks red from the embarrassment and messy hair.

He remembered how he had his head buried in his arms, his grey hoodie and his black, long bangs covering his sleepy eyes, and how he immediately woke up and rose his head up to look at the owner of the beautiful voice that had just apologized for being late.

Seonghwa thought you looked fucking adorable, and he swore to himself that he would be the one to make your face flush like that, to make you breathe heavily and to grip your hair so hard that it'd get tangled and messy just like that.

But of course you didn't know him. He was proficient in watching, watching close enough to be able to watch you, to be able to understand everything you said, sometimes even close enough to smell your perfume, but still adequately far so you wouldn't notice his presence. The man was afraid that if caught him he wouldn’t be able to observe you anymore!

He couldn't bring himself to talk to you... What would he say? He wasn't worthy of you... He liked to just watch you. But he had to admit, the way other men went up to you, the way they held your waist and tried to make you theirs, it made Seonghwa's jaw clench. It made his jaw clench and his blood boil. How dare they touch you like that!? You belonged to him, you just weren't aware of it.

[24th March, 2019]

"Mr. Park, would you face the board instead of facing Miss Y/N during the whole class for once?"

All heads turned to look at him, including yours. You looked at him with a small, curious smile, and your eyes met. His head detached from the hand supporting it, and his eyes widened. You thought the deep blush on his fair skin was adorable, and you giggled at his little nervous stutter.

"I-I'm sorry, I'll f-focus now Sir..."

Seonghwa lowered his head a little, so his bangs covered his face as much as possible.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! That shouldn't happen! That couldn't happen! What now!? You had noticed him, certainly, you'd see him staring at your unbelievable beauty, since you now knew of his existence.

As class went on, Seonghwa struggled not to stare at you, afraid you'd be looking at him and you'd make eye contact once more. His leg bounced nervously, and for the first time, he counted the seconds until he was out of the classroom he shared with you.

As soon as the teacher declared class was over, Seonghwa jumped from his seat as if he were a spring and swung his backpack over his shoulder. He pulled down his hood, trying to cover as much of his face as possible, in hopes that you wouldn't want to discuss what had happened.

"Hey!" Seonghwa heard your voice call.

He knew it was your voice, because it was his favourite voice to hear.

Seonghwa pretended he didn't know you were calling him and kept on walking, but as he knew, you didn't quit easily. You jogged up to him and grabbed his wrist.

He turned around violently to look down at you. He couldn't believe you had just touched him, he couldn't believe how insanely small you felt and looked compared to him.

"You're Seonghwa, right?"

The way his name fell from your lips was unbelievably ethereal. Seonghwa loved the way you spoke his name, and he now knew he didn't want to stop hearing it.

"Yes, and you're Y/N." Seonghwa replied, wide-eyed and awkward.

He was shocked you knew of him, he was shocked you knew his name, and he honestly didn't expect this scenario to happen (not any time soon at least).

He'd imagined many things, how you looked underneath him, how you looked only in your underwear, how your pretty face twisted in pleasure as he fucked you... But never the first hello.

You giggled at his panicked expression and reddening cheeks.

"I am... I wanted to ask, do you usually stare at girls during class or do you have something you want to tell me?" You asked, curious if he had some sort of crush or interest in you.

"No, I usually don’t, but you're the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen."

[6th June, 2019]

You didn't know if it was the beer, or the tequila, or the joint in your hand, but you felt particularly brave as you laid on the grass with your friend, looking up at the starry sky. The weather was perfect. Not a cloud was visible and the only thing you could hear were the crickets in the distance.

You placed the joint between your lips and took a hit, before passing it to the male beside you.

"You know Hwa, I think I like you..."

Seonghwa had changed. He had molded himself into the perfect man for you, in hopes you'd become his.

His hoodies became leather jackets, his cartoon t-shirts became white v-necks, his joggers became tight jeans and his long fringe turned into a middle-parted undercut.

All of these changes seemed to have worked in the end.

You had never asked anything of him, but he knew what you wanted, so he changed, willingly. The only part of himself he hadn't changed was his dominant personality, the sense of ownership he felt over you, not only because he couldn't change that, but because he knew based on the past experiences you had told him that you liked a rough man.

Seonghwa turned his head to look at you and smirked.

He took one last hit of the joint before getting on top of you.

One of his hands stood beside your head, holding him up while the other held your chin. You looked each other into your bloodshot eyes. His head moved down, until your noses were brushing against each other.

"Finally."

[30th of June, 2019]

It didn't take long for you and Seonghwa to have your first time. You had a very sexual nature, and so did he. Seonghwa loved to tease you, he loved to squeeze your ass in public and whisper dirty nothings in your ear while you were with your friends.

You couldn't wait for the day he fulfilled his filthy promises and fucked the life out of you.

It happened randomly, when you stopped by his place one night, to drop some documents you were asked to deliver to him.

He opened the door, not knowing who it was, and was caught off guard by seeing your pretty figure waiting for him.

Seonghwa was wearing nothing but a pair of grey joggers that settled low on his hips, exposing his perfectly defined v-line.

He had a small tattoo on his lower hip, a quote written in thick black letters, that read 'all or nothing'. You had always adored that piece of work, and you thought it matched him perfectly.

As soon as you saw his figure, your words got caught in your throat, and you couldn't peel your eyes off of the male's exposed skin, and the way his muscles flexed every time he moved.

Seonghwa leaned against the doorframe and hooked the hem of his sweater pants on his thumb. You followed his finger's movements religiously, as he teasingly pulled them down a little, to expose his naked hip, and almost giving you a glance of his cock. He had no underwear on. You didn't know what to do with that information, but you loved it.

"Baby girl if you keep looking at me like that I might cum..." He whispered in your ear.

You bit your lip and looked him in the eye. You placed your hands on his chest and pushed him inside your apartment lightly.

"Might as well do it inside me, right?”

Seonghwa hissed at your words and his hands cupped your ass, giving it a harsh squeeze.

"You'll be the death of me, beautiful..." Seonghwa told you, before closing the door and pushing you against it.

You didn't care about the papers anymore. You dropped them and laced your arms around your boyfriend's neck, waiting for him to close the faint gap between your lips.

He teased you for a second, ghosting his lips over yours instead of kissing you, but when you rolled your hips against his, causing your crotch to come in contact with his semi-hard dick, he gave in. Deep down, you knew that it didn't matter how dominant he was, you had him around your finger.

His rough yet passionate kisses were no stranger to you, and you loved the way his tongue felt against yours as he explored every corner of your mouth.

Seonghwa gripped your ass tighter and pulled you closer. You kept your hips' movement, feeling your boyfriend's cock get harder by the second.

He pulled away from the kiss and pushed you harder against the wall. You could feel all of his body's curves press against your own. One of Seonghwa's hand left your ass and his fingers gripped your throat.

"I've been waiting for this for too long, I'm not holding back tonight, I'll destroy you." He said, through gritted teeth.

You pushed him back slightly. He allowed you to do so, curious as to what you'd do next.

Seonghwa watched as you began to strip. First, your t-shirt, and then your jeans, that you unbuttoned and pulled down painfully slow. Your clothes pooled around your feet and you looked at Seonghwa's lusty eyes.

"I'm all yours." You told him.

There was a second of silence, as Seonghwa didn't quite know what to do. He didn't know if he should take it easy, if he should just rip your garments off and take your right there or if he should punish you as hard as possible. It was your first time, however, and he decided he shouldn't be too harsh.

Seonghwa slung you over his shoulder and slapped your ass.

"You drive me crazy doll."

You giggled as he threw you on the bed facing up.

"I know."

Your boyfriend chuckled at your cuteness and attached your lips once more. He played with your lower lip as he undid your bra and threw it somewhere in the room. Seonghwa cupped one of your breasts and played with your hard bud.

"Is there any part of your body that isn't absolutely perfect?" He asked, before taking your other nipple in his mouth, sucking harshly and biting lightly from time to time.

When you felt his other hand separate your folds, you whimpered. Your legs spread wider and you immediately gripped his dark hair. He played with your wet cunt like it was his personal sex toy.

Seonghwa's fingers teased at your entrance for a second, before entering you. His pace was slow, purposely trying to tease you and make you beg. Your loud moans made him smirk.

"So fucking needy for me... Tell me what you want?"

You arched your back and bucked your hips, trying to get some more friction.

"Fuck I want you to take those fingers out and fill me with your cock!" You moaned.

You were desperate, you needed to feel him. You had been teased so many times, you'd imagined him fucking you so many times already, and now that he was there, half-naked fingering you, you couldn't take it anymore. You had to feel him.

Seonghwa stripped from his pants and placed himself between your legs, spreading them a little wider in the process. He took no time to enter you. As soon as he found your entrance he thrust into you and started moving at a reasonable pace, so you could get used to the feeling.

He fit inside you like he belonged there, like you two had been made for each other. You loved the way he filled you and he loved how tight you were around his cock.

"Oh my God, you feel so good Hwa..."

The praise falling from your pretty lips was Seonghwa's kryptonite, and like his little tattoo said, he had no mid-term. His slow thrusts became violent, fast, and shamelessly pleasurable from one second to the other.

Your brain went to putty, and at that precise moment all there was in the world for you was your boyfriend's cock ramming into you.

He slapped your ass harshly thrice, making sure his hand would be marked.

"Who owns you, pretty baby? Tell me who owns this pussy." Seonghwa growled as he gripped your thighs.

"Y-you..."

He slapped the side of your thigh.

"S-speak up doll."

You moaned his name loudly at how good he was making you feel.

"You own me Seonghwa! I'm yours!"

His pace quickened, as if it was possible, and he took one of your nipples between his fingers.

"That's right, you're my little cumslut."

You looked at him through hooded eyes. His fringe was stuck to his forehead and he had such a lustful and ruthless expression on his face... You swore you could cum with that alone.

"Hwa... I'm gonna cum..." You managed to squeal, between your exasperated breaths.

"Do it, I wanna feel you around me, baby."

His hand closed around your throat one last time, knowing how much you loved it. Immediately you reached your climax. You gripped onto his biceps and arched your back, as your vision went blank for a second, absolutely blinded by pleasure.

Upon seeing how fucked out you looked, how absolutely beautiful you were when you came, how pretty your agape mouth was as it spewed dirty praises, he was thrown over the edge and came buried deep in you, filling you with his thick, warm cum.

Seonghwa removed himself from you and plopped on the beg beside you. He threw his arm over your stomach and nibbled on your neck.

You giggled at his neediness.

"Are you not tired?" You asked, amused at his actions.

Seonghwa caressed the spot that would later become a pretty shade of purple.

"I am..."

"Then what was that for?".

Seonghwa looked at you for a second before replying.

"So that everyone knows you have an owner."

[15th July, 2019]

Seonghwa's tight grip on your wrist was not released until you entered his apartment. He slammed the door shut and turned to face you, his face as stern as ever.

"Who the fuck was that guy!?" He asked, like a madman, staring at you like his eyeballs would pop out of his sockets at any time.

The sight before you was incredulous, what had gotten into him!?

"Seonghwa, he's my friend."

"Oh yeah!? And do all of your friends want to fuck you!?"

You furrowed your eyebrows, confused and quite clearly not understanding where all that commotion was coming from.

"Seonghwa, we hugged. Wooyoung does not want to fuck me, we hugged and he said I looked good because we haven't seen each other in almost two years, stop overreacting! You sound insane!"

Your boyfriend gripped your upper arm and pulled you closer. His stare burned on you, his eyes had lost their glisten and were now pitch dark, fuming with rage and jealousy.

For the first, dreadful time, you were scared of him.

"You think I'm insane!? Hm!? You think I'm insane 'cause I don't want my baby fucking around with other guys!?"

"Hwa, I love you, and only you, okay? I'm not fucking Wooyoung I'm yours, alright?"

Your voice became quieter as you spoke, hoping he would calm down, but his grip never loosened.

"How do I know that!? How do I know you're not being a whore behind my back!? I had never heard of this Wooyoung guy and suddenly he's your 'friend'!? How many other 'friends' do you have!?"

You couldn't belive the words that fell from his lips... Those lips that you loved so much, how could they insult you and accuse you in such a heartless way.

You were visibly taken aback, and tears brimmed in the corners of your eyes.

You pushed him away harshly, not caring about anything at that point.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? How can you even say that! I'm friends with whoever I want to be friends with Seonghwa, you don't get to decide it!"

You waved your arms around like crazy, trying to make sense of the situation, and the tears you tried to suppress fell down your cheeks.

Seonghwa pressed you against the wall and grabbed your jaw.

"You don't fucking get to do whatever you want cause you're mine! No one else can have you, you belong to me!" He yelled in your face.

You were sure every neighbour of his had heard you two already.

"I belonged to you! Past, Seonghwa! I've had enough of this bullshit, I don't want a controlling piece of shit boyfriend!"

You shoved him away from you and made your way towards the door.

"You can't leave me!" He yelled.

Without looking at him you grabbed the door's gilded handle and turned it.

"Watch me." You told him, voice as steady and as strong as ever.

"Please, you can’t leave me."

His shaky, insecure voice made you freeze in place. Your hand stopped turning, your eyes widened and you stopped being able to think for a second.

His behaviour shift was like night and day...

You turned around, to find Seonghwa standing limply, with a lifeless expression and tears in his eyes as he watched the love of his life leave.

He was sobbing.

Your brain was a mix of emotions, this man was completely different from the rough asshole that had confronted you not ten seconds ago. That day he showed you two sides of him you had no idea existed. Two parallels, that seemed almost impossible to be within the same person.

Once San saw you standing there, giving him a small chance of redemption, he stood up, slowly as if he was afraid to chase you away, and stepped towards you.

He cupped your face and examined the unreadable mix of sentiment running through you.

"Baby I'm sorry, I love you so much I just don't want another guy to steal you away..." He told you softly, with his deep, angelic voice.

You sniffed and wiped away a cheeky tear.

"But Seonghwa, I've told you you're the only one for me..."

Seonghwa hugged you softly, and you hugged back as he exhaled in relief.

"I know, but I want you for myself only... But its okay, it won't happen again, right?"

You were a little unsure, but when his grip grew tighter out of his stress, desperation and fear of you leaving, you immediately replied.

"It won't ever happen baby."

Seonghwa hummed happily.

Maybe it wasn't the best choice, but at least you knew, that as long as you were with him, you'd be safe. Safe from him.

"You're all mine..."

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waywardnerd67 · 4 years

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Fan Mail

Summary: Jensen has been penpals with a fan for his entire career. Now he wants to meet her to tell her his true feelings for her. He is in for a great surprise to find out who she truly is. Characters: Jensen Ackles, Reader Pairing: Jensen x Reader Warnings: Fluff Word Count: 1706 Prompt: “A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.” -- Winston Churchill A/N: @spnfanficpond Unfic Challenge

(Y/N), I’m sitting in my trailer after wrapping for the last time on Supernatural and I really wish you were here with me. You’ve been my constant companion, my friend throughout all my career and it’s hard to believe we have never met. I want to fix that. I would like to invite you to the Supernatural wrap party in Vancouver. You don’t have to worry about any of the expenses because I will cover them for you. All you have to worry about is bringing you amazing, beautiful self here. I know it’s not a lot of notice which is why I am overnighting this letter to you. Below is my number, just send me a text with your answer. I really want to meet you, (Y/N). It would mean the world to me. Talk to you soon. -J

She reread the letter a few times leaning against the counter. (Y/N) quickly folded the letter and slipped it into her back pocket when the trailer door swung open. The deep, infectious laugh of Jared Padalecki filled the air bringing an instant smile to her face.

“(Y/N)! My favorite person in the whole world!” Jared wrapped his long arms around her and hugged her tight.

She started laughing as he let go of her and flopped down into a chair, “Jared I don’t know if anyone has told you but we wrapped a week ago. You’re supposed to be packing your apartment up to move back home. What are you doing in my chair?”

“My apartment is done and Jensen is sulking around his. I need some sunshine in my life and figured you might need some help packing up the trailer.” His hazel eyes looked around the trailer fondly staring at the wall of photos featuring different looks throughout the years.

(Y/N) smiled softly, “Well I could definitely use your height to get some of the boxes down from our overhead storage.,” she pointed up as he smiled back at her.

After a few hours, (Y/N) and Jared had the whole make-up trailer packed up. An overwhelming sadness tightened around her chest knowing this would be the last time she would ever be inside the trailer of her favorite show. As she turned to look to Jared, she watched in horror as his eyes were skimming a familiar piece of paper. She quickly slid her hand into her back pocket confirming he was indeed reading Jensen’s letter to her.

“Jared…” she said as he looked up at her with his mouth gaping open.

“You’re her! I knew it! I told Jensen it was you. What are the chances that two girls in his life would have the same name. I can’t believe it.” His excitement only made her panic more.

She stepped towards him with her shaking hand reaching for the letter, “Please Jared… just give me the letter.”

He held the letter above his head where she could not reach it, “You’re gonna tell him, right? (Y/N), tell me you’re going to tell him.”

She shook her head, “I-I can’t…”

“(Y/N), you have to tell him. He is moping around his apartment because the wrap party is tomorrow night and hasn’t heard from you. I’ve never seen him like this.” The concern in Jared’s voice made her heart flutter slightly.

He handed her the note and pulled her into a hug, “Between you and me, I think you’re exactly what he needs in his life right now.”

Jared kissed her temple and walked out the trailer door. (Y/N) let out a breath burning within her chest before slumping into one of the chairs and allowing the tears she held to flow freely. After a few minutes, she gathered her things and made her way out to her car. Looking back at the trailer one last time, (Y/N) drove to her apartment downtown. As soon as she was home, she went into her closet pulling out the small chest that held hundreds of letters from Jensen.

She never thought writing a fan letter would put her life on the course it was currently traveling. It started when she tore her ACL at eighteen and ended up watching Days of our Lives as she healed. Instantly, she fell for the blond hair Eric Brady and found that all the actors had a PO Box they received fan letters from. Taking a chance, she wrote Jensen a letter and from there they struck up a friendship. She followed his entire career and he followed her throughout college then theatrical make-up school. When she landed a job on Supernatural, she came face to face with the man who held her heart. Though, he never knew she was the (Y/N) he would write too. Her mail was forwarded from her home in L.A. to Vancouver making Jensen none the wiser that she was his penpal.

(Y/N), Wouldn’t it be amazing if you got a job on Supernatural. I know it would be a long shot, but then we could see each other all the time. It would be nice to have someone other than Jared to hang out with up here. 9 months out of the year with him gets old. I could even take you for a ride in Baby just don’t judge her on how she sounds because it’s not as cool as it is on tv. How did apartment hunting in LA go? Looking forward to your next letter. -J

(Y/N) sat on her bed with the chest open and added Jensen’s latest letter to it. She grabbed her phone pulling up her text thread with Jensen and sent him a message before losing her nerve.

“Hey Jensen, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out and have dinner at my place? Something I need to talk to you about.”

His reply was immediate, “Be there in 30.”

(Y/N) ordered from their favorite Mexican place that would cater on set and anxiously paced around until there was a knock on her door. As she opened it, Jensen was standing next to a delivery man chuckling. He quickly pulled out his wallet and paid for the meal before she could say anything.

Stepping aside, he walked inside looking around her living room. (Y/N) grabbed the bag with their food and made her way towards the kitchen, “Make yourself at home. Would you like a beer?”

“Sure. Thanks for inviting me over. I was looking for an excuse not to pack up my apartment.” Jensen’s deep voice sent goosebumps all over her body.

She took a deep breath before grabbing two beers, a couple of plates and their food. They sat in her living room eating and reminiscing about their time on Supernatural. Conversation between them was natural and easy flowing like water. Once they were done eating and both of them were onto their second beer a comfortable silence fell between them.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” Jensen leaned back into her couch and placed his feet up on her coffee table.

(Y/N) swallowed the large lump in her throat before pulling out the chest that contained the truth she had been withholding from him. Sitting at the other end of the couch she placed it between them, “This.”

Jensen sat up looking curiously at her before he opened the lid. He pulled out a letter and once he found what it contained his olive eyes snapped up at her, “You?”

She nodded silently. Watching him ruffle through every letter he had ever sent her was terrifying and liberating. He put out the most recent letter and began chuckling, “I guess you’re already going to the wrap party.”

“Jensen, I know you’re probably mad that I never said anything. I just didn’t know how to approach the subject. I love receiving your letters and didn’t want that to change. With the show ending and knowing you all these years, it wouldn’t be right for you not to know. I’m sorry.” She was rambling until he reached out and grabbed her hand squeezing it.

He set the chest with the letters on the table and moved closer to her, “I told Jared today that if I didn’t hear from my penpal that I was finally going to have the balls to ask you out.”

“And now…” she asked looking up just in time to see Jensen leaning in and pressing his lips against hers.

“Now, we hang out and do some more of this,” he kissed once again, “and we take it day by day.”

“I like the sounds of that.” (Y/N) snuggled into his side as she turned on the tv trying to find something for them to watch.

After a little while Jensen asked, “If you were going to write me another letter, what quote would you have put at the end?”

(Y/N) laughed getting up and grabbing her 1001 Random Quotes book. She had taken to ending her letters with random quotes that she picked by simply randomly opening to a page and blindly pointing at a quote. She did exactly that then started laughing as she read it.

“A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject. -- Winston Churchill” She looked up to see Jensen smiling, “I guess that explains me in a nutshell.”

Jensen slipped his arm around her shoulders pulling out his phone bringing up his camera, “As my biggest fan I think we need to document this important moment,” he snapped a few pictures of them together.

Suddenly, his phone began chiming rapidly with texts while Jensen started laughing, “Well I now owe Jared twenty bucks since he was right all along that you were my fan penpal.”

“I know he found out earlier today. Honestly, who would believe a story that a fan would be penpals with her favorite actor.” She chuckled as he lifted her chin to have their eyes meet.

“You’ve always been more than just a fan to me, (Y/N).” He leaned in kissing before they snuggled with one another on her couch to continue watching a movie.

If you enjoyed this story then check out my Masterlist!

My Nerd Herd: @waywardbaby @ladywinchester1967 @akshi8278 @ericaprice2008 @deans-baby-momma @spnbaby-67 @dean-winchesters-bacon @carryonmywaywardcaptain @-lovepeacenhope- @destiel745 @carribear31 @srsllydunnodoncare @whimsicalrobots @thisismysecrethappyplace @starstruckzonkoperatorbat @adoptdontshoppets @mrswhozeewhatsis @bella-ca @drakelover78 @imascio08 @pisces-cutie @dwgrl1903-blog @mannls @the-salty-asian @winchesterprincessbride @xostephanie @superromijn @witch-of-letters @time-travel-bouqet @screechingartisancashbailiff @myinconnelly1 @sister-winchesters99 @thekatherinewinchester @maddiepants @tumbler-tidbits @sandlee44 @destielhoneybee @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @thefaithfulwriter @stoneyggirl @supernaturalginger @emoryhemsworth @wednesdayismyfunday @team-free-will-you-idjiot @atc74 @cosicas-cuquis @casseythebee

#unfic challenge #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles fanfic #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles rpf #jensen ackles fluff

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naiveandexperienced · 4 years

Text

the beginning of the end.

for those of you who remember, i said i would post my final draft of my letter to alex when i got closer to my graduation date. although it's still three months away, i'm satisfied with the final draft of said letter so i will go ahead and post it now. i'm not going to give this to him. here we go:

I honestly don’t know where to start with this letter. You don’t know how many times I have written and rewritten every single word. I have decided that this is going to be my final draft whether I like it or not. Forgive me if it gets all over the place; my thought process when I’m feeling emotional isn’t very coherent. I guess, let me start off by saying that I wish this could be written better. I wish it could sound sophisticated and meaningful but frankly, my mindset is incapable of finding eloquent ways to express my feelings. I suppose a written letter is better than me attempting to speak to you; that would not go well. It’s sad that I still haven’t been able to properly talk to you after knowing you for two school years. Anyways, time for me to pour my heart out in this farewell letter.

Truth be told, I didn’t quite like you when I first came into your AP European History class. It’s not that I disliked you; you just intimidated me. You intimidated me from the first time I met you during orientation, when it was just me and you in your classroom. You intimidated me from forty feet down the hallway. Even during school assemblies, with all of those hundreds of people, your presence still intimidated me. I say ‘intimidated’ like it’s past tense but you still do, if I’m being honest.

Do you want to know what changed and why I so obviously became attached to you?

I doubt you remember, but some kid (Andre or Connor probably) pronounced ‘gif’ incorrectly and you told him that if he pronounced it like that again you would hang yourself with the blinds in your classroom. I know that it’s kind of odd but that is a really fond memory to me. It made me realize that you weren’t as scary as I thought and that you have the millennial sense of humor that I’m so comfortable with. It’s a weird feeling, being so comfortable around someone yet on edge at the same time.

It’s exhilarating.

It’s exhausting.

Being around you is so exhausting but I wouldn’t change it for the world because you have taught me so much. You got me motivated when I just wanted to give up. I wanted to try and succeed, which is something that had been buried for so long. I wanted to make you proud. I know that in the second semester of last year I failed at that.

When I got suspended I wasn’t thinking about myself; I was just thinking about you (which is idiotic, I'm aware).

I was devastated because I knew that I had disappointed you. I didn’t want you to see me as an idiotic child who couldn’t care less about succeeding. I didn’t want you to think less of me. The logical part of me would tell myself everyday that you would understand that people make mistakes but I was still terrified.

Even as I write this now (August 3rd, 2019; 2:55 AM), I still don’t know if I can stand to see you when school starts. Part of me wants you to be mad at me because I deserve it. I want you to tell me you’re disappointed in me. I want you to tell me this because that would mean you noticed and you actually cared. Another, larger part if terrified because I know that the truth is, you probably don’t care enough to get angry with me or to feel anger about what I did (if you do in fact know why I was suspended; if you don’t, long story short, I had a drinking problem and it finally caught up with me). You won’t tell me you were disappointed with my actions or that you forgive me because you’re not as deeply invested in me as I am you.

I’m just another student and that’s perfectly okay with me.

Of course it hurts, but I would rather have my heart broken a million times than have the possibility of your happiness being taken away from you. Seeing you happy is all I need to be at peace with my emotions. Nothing makes me happier and nothing makes me sadder than you.

With that being said, I probably acted distant and indifferent to you throughout the year. I don’t know yet since I’m writing this before school even starts—it’s pathetic, writing about the end before it’s even begun. I have made a promise to myself to just treat you like any other teacher because if I allow myself any flicker of warmth, I know I will just fall back into this overwhelming pit. I’m sorry if it hurts your feelings (I doubt it will). It’s okay if you feel relieved (I expect you to). Addendum (August 25th, 2019): This letter was written under the impression that I would be in your government class, which I obviously was not. I don’t know why because I switched from AP to CP as soon as I heard that you were teaching CP Government this year and I put in a request to specifically be placed in your class with my counselor. She did that for me last year when I transferred to your APUSH class instead of Mrs. Wilson’s. With the new policy, I won’t be able to switch out of any of my classes next semester to take AP Human Geography or something that you might be teaching. I have a TA block next semester but it’s during first period and if it hasn’t changed, first period is your planning period. Plus even if it wasn’t, it is so hard to TA for you. A lot of people want to be your TA!

Now this is the part where you probably want to stop because having someone confess the whole truth to you is something that a lot of people can’t handle. The only reason that I feel comfortable enough to tell all of this to you is because you are one of the few people that I can 100% trust. I grasp onto the thought that you still stand by what you said about never getting mad at me ever with every coming sentence.

The saddest part about unrequited love is that you always try. Even as I tell myself to shut out anything other than teacher worthy emotions, I find myself clutching onto a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe you could love me back.

Please understand that although I did and do have feelings for you, everything that I did for you was not me trying to make you uncomfortable or seduce you or something like that. I would never never never want to do that to you. I truly did those things because I liked to make you happy. I love to do things for the people I love.

I don’t think you realized how devastated I was that time I got called to Student Services about you. I was so distraught that I had pushed too far and made you upset. Just the thought of me being the cause of you experiencing negative emotions makes me so upset with myself. I was so close to crying when I came into your classroom to ask if I did something wrong. Then you told me that everything was okay and for the first time in a long time, I actually believed it. You made me believe it.

I know I’ll miss you forever because the parts of you I have seen are some of the most beautiful pieces of a person that I have ever known. A wonderful quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald goes, “Suddenly, she realized that what she was regretting was not the lost past but the lost future, not what had not been but what would never be.” That quote flickers through my head a lot these days and I think it is very fitting for me and how our time is coming to an end. Even though we will never be together, it warms my heart to know that a person like you exists.

It’s weird to think about all of the things that I think about when it comes to you. It’s weird that I’m even writing this letter to you, which you have probably already stopped reading and have thrown it away or given it to administration or something of the like. None of it matters though because even if you have or haven’t stopped, I’m going to get everything out that I need to.

For starters, you confuse me. I doubt it was your intention but some of the things you said to me made me overthink everything. You randomly told me one day after I brought you coffee, and I quote, “Don’t ever worry about making me mad, okay? You could never make me mad.” You even repeated it to me when I didn’t respond to you the first time. You know what I did after that? I took that little bone and ran with it like a starving puppy. Then when I jokingly told Faith to tell you that I love you and you said you loved me too. Then at the Black and White, when I swear time froze when we saw each other for the first time that night. And then when you placed me in my AP Euro seat at the beginning of APUSH, when you were seating us alphabetically by last names and when you got to my seat you were still at the ‘Cs’ but you put me there instead, in the front row and the place you lecture in front of the most. All of those moments mean so much to me even though I know they were thoughtless to you.

Secondly, you ignite me. I know I said this earlier, but I am going to repeat myself because I mean it with every fiber of my being. You motivated me again. You were the only reason I kept coming to school when all I wanted to do was quit. It was so easy for me to get away with not coming to school but when I got into your class, I never wanted to leave. I was actually so disappointed every day I missed school because I wouldn’t get to see you that day.

Lastly, I love you. I love you in a way that I want you to succeed with everything in your life. I love you in a way that I want you to always be happy and content. I love you in a way that is so foreign to me because it is completely selfless. If you asked anything of me, I wouldn’t hesitate to do it. That’s a scary thought to know that you have so much power over me. The only reason I can tell you all of this is because I know you won’t abuse it or me.

I wish I had more time with you. I could sit in those stupid, uncomfortable desks 24/7 and listen to you talk about history, politics, whatever else you wanted for the rest of my life and never be satisfied with the amount of time spent with you.

Although we will most likely never talk again after graduation, please remember that I am forever changed by who you are and what you mean to me. You will always be important to me. I will fade from your memory but I want you to know that you will never fade from mine.

that's the end!

i feel like the letter is really all over the place but i think it does a great job reflecting my mindset and emotions when it came to him. i use past tense here because i have been thinking over a few things for a while. i am not going to be updating on this blog anymore and i am closing it down. i know that i've said this before in the past, but i truly do believe that i have lost feelings for alex now. since my last update, i actually saw him quite a bit and i... didn't feel anything? people change and mature and i believe that i have done that. thanks so much for taking the time to read that monstrosity as well as go on this tiring journey with me through the latter half of my high school years. it means a lot.

please remember to stay safe! thanks again!

#teacher student #tc crush #unrequited love #teacher crush #tcc blog #tc love #tcc #tcc update #tc community #tcc post #teacherxstudent #teacher and student #teacher x student #teachercrush #teacher crush confession #tc confession #teacher crush community

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creatingnikki · 4 years

Text

Dearest Kevin,

Hi.

I do this thing…this weird thing…usually when on first dates or when meeting a dear friend after a long time. I say hi. They say hi. We smile. I say hi again. Or we’re already 2-3 hours in and then randomly I’ll smile and say hi. But that’s the thing right…as weird and random as it sounds, it’s not. I think I now know that I tend to do that when I am trying to process a lot of new and perhaps overwhelming information. Usually good, positive, happy ones but also anything that’s a lot. I just finished reading your answers and I feel that way. I loved reading them, I felt like for a few minutes there I was no longer sitting in Starbucks on this sunny Wednesday afternoon surrounded by strangers I’ll maybe smile at but never know, drinking my iced coffee. Instead, I was back…I was back in 2000 in your life, I was in back in September with you when you were going through your baby stuff after your mom passed away. Thank you, thank you for earnestly sharing these moments with me, I appreciate it. And so, hi.

You said something that I think is 100% quote-worthy and also something I desperately needed to hear:

“Our timing was never right. At that time, she was with someone else (with whom she had a daughter), and I reconnected with my future ex-wife the following year. After 2003, I lost contact until late last year; she’s no longer married but is with someone else. I learned from my marriage that history is not a shortcut, so I was under no delusions when making contact again.”

History truly is not a shortcut right? I realized that when I spent the last few days of 2019 with my ex-best friend from school and with other school friends on a road trip. My ex-best friend, let’s call her Peach, and I went through some of the most difficult, confusing and formative years of our lives together – from when we were 13 years old to when we were 19 years old. Basically, all our teen life. She had seen me at my lowest – about a million times – and at my highest. She had been through my routines and my habits. So had I. But none of that mattered this last December. It had been about 3.5 years since we stopped being “best friends” and none of those times we had shared had mattered. Those times when I stopped her from killing or harming herself. Those times when she heard me talk about my family in a way no one ever has. Those times we only had to look at each other and we would know what the other was thinking and we would start laughing so hard like idiots leaving everyone around us confused.

None of that mattered. But we did have a basic sense of understanding, respect and compassion for each other. Nothing more than that. It’s hard though to fathom that the person closest to you can be nothing better than a stranger later. Because to be honest I have that basic sense of respect and compassion for the strangers that I come across as well. And when life gets hard and you think back to some people who really got you and all you want to do is rush back to them. Because everyone else? They just don’t get you, not in the same way at least. But no, history is not a shortcut, as you said.

I think pop culture truly fucks up our idea of love and friendship. But maybe the ones who write that shit do it as a way to cope with the lack of it in their life. God knows when I write books, I’ll do the same. Maybe I’ll add some sort of disclaimer at the beginning – This is fiction because life has never been this rose-coloured. I don’t know. But hey, that was an interesting fact about submitting your poetry collections for Pulitzer prizes. Yes, I had absolutely no idea! I have never submitted anything I’ve written to even a college magazine because I seem to not be okay with people who know me to know me. What I mean is people who know my name, age, nine-to-five job, etc. I can’t let them really get to know my heart. And my writing is my heart. But perhaps, someday! Also, good luck Perhaps, someday!

I do feel you on the contrarian part. I have not read Harry Potter (yes, all the judgemental Potterheads can go ahead and gasp) and I have not read the Twilight series or watched Breaking Bad and I didn’t even read Murakami until last year! I think for me, I try to stay away from everything too popular for the most part because

I know that my interests, things that speak to me are usually different than for most others around me. And I don’t say that in a holier than thou way. No, really, my life would be so much easier if I liked and related to things most people do

I am afraid that the actual book/movie/TV show will not live up to the hype and disappoint me like most things end up doing

Most of the music I love is music most people I meet have never heard about. And now I am happy about it, it feels like I am building this happy little world for me that brings me joy. Sometimes it seems indulgent and silly. When I use my free time to illustrate and write in a tiny little book – not for my blog or to earn money – but just so I have something to flip through that makes me happy when I’m feeling low. Or spending hours every few months stringing my room in fairy lights, stocking up on scented candles and tea. When I read books and underline sentences in them scribbling notes in the margins or when I post a letter to a friend in the old school way, these things seem childish, unnecessary if I think from a strictly rational point of view. But I know, I know that this is me building my bubble of things I care about and add value to my life in a non-conventional way and I think we all should do that – in whatever way that means something to us. Here’s a sweet little video that’s super aesthetic but also like makes more sense of what I’m saying (psst…it’s not super popular so go for it )

The best way to love myself – Haegreendal

About your answer to what love means to you and what it has come to mean to you…it reminds me of this quote from the book Tuesdays with Morrie (I know, I know, it’s one of the popular ones but it turned out to my most highlighted book of 2019)

“Invest in the human family. Invest in people. Build a little community of those you love and who love you.”

I think this sentiment and the importance of it is something we only learn after we’ve grown up a bit because before that all we focus on is romantic love right? I’ve had guy friends who will put 90% effort in romantic relationships but like 20% effort in platonic ones and then they whine about being lonely and not being able to connect with anyone. Guess they will just learn in their own time.

57. Living for that long, to me, seems like an achievement. For a long time I would think I wouldn’t live beyond 25…I mean I’m still 23 so lol who knows…but I am more optimistic than that now. I want to live and I want to love and I want to learn – about myself and the world. I hope you continue to too.

Love and some more,

Nikki

I wrote this letter for Kevin based on some questions they answered. You can read the questions and their answers (which are btw beautiful) over here.

Guys - I have received 29 people’s responses for The Love Project - 29 days of love letters. So I won’t be accepting anymore, however, you can read other letters here.

I may do this again later in the year and if you would want to receive a love letter from me then, you can drop in your email ID here xoxo

#the love project #29 days of love letters #day 14 #love letters #february 2020 #let me write you love letters #happy valentines day #valentine's day #love #creatingnikki

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aproblematicpanda · 4 years

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Harry Potter? For the in-depth fandom ask

Hi thank you! ♥ I will use the books for my answers, since I didn’t really like most of the movies. I apologize if I mix up some of the characters, I’ve only read the books in my native language so I will have to google for some of the names in English. :’D

Top 5 favorite characters: Minerva McGonagall, Luna Lovegood, Fred & George Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Ginny Weasley. Other characters you like: The golden trio obviously, Molly, Dobby, Draco Malfoy, ... There are not a lot of characters I dislike. Least favourite characters: Umbridge, for obvious reasons. Otps: Hermione and Ron. Notps: I don’t think I have any? I’m not very invested in shipping when it comes to the HP fandom, I pretty much keep an open mind to everything? Except incest but I’ve never seen anyone ship anything like that, so. Favourite friendships: Harry, Ron and Hermione, obviously, and I also really liked Fren, George and Lee, and Lavender and Parvati. Favourite family: The Weasleys Favourite episodes: / Favourite book: Prisoner of Azkaban is probably my favorite book. Favourite quotes: "If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." "I solemnly swear I am up to no good." "But you know, happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." "Harry witnessed Professor McGonagall walking right past Peeves who was determinedly loosening a crystal chandelier and could have sworn he heard her tell the poltergeist out of the corner of her mouth, 'It unscrews the other way.’" "There is no need to call me ‘sir,’ Professor." And probably more. The books have so many amazing scenes, funny, inspirational, sad, hopeful, ... It was really hard to pick just a few. Best musical moment: / Moment that made you fangirl the hardest: Ehh... I mean, obviously I was rooting for Harry and the ending was a satisfying one, just like every other time Harry beat Voldemort, but the moment that made me fangirl the hardest would probably be Hermione punching Draco in the face. xD When it really disappointed you: The only truly disappointing thing about the book is how House-Elves are treated. Other than that, the only time I’m disappoint is literally every time JK Rowling decides it’s a good idea to open her mouth. Saddest moment: The moment Harry breaks down in Dumbledore’s chambers after Sirius dies gives me chills every. damn. time I reread the book. Most well done character death: Oh god, this is so hard because most of the deaths really hit me hard Favourite guest star: / Favourite cast member: / Character you wish was still alive: Honestly? Probably Hedwig. Maybe Fred. One thing you hope really happens: That JK Rowling’s Twitter account is banned so she doesn’t have a damn platform anymore. Most shocking twist: When did you start reading: I think the first three books were already out when I started to read them. My classmates kept telling me to do it and I was in that annoying phase where I refused to dive into anything that was this massively popular - but I’m glad I eventually caved because if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have grown up in this fandom and that means I would’ve had an entirely different experience. Now I can still say I grew up with the books and I’m glad I did. Best animal/creature: I’m a gigantic sucker for unicorns and I’m not sorry about it. xD Favourite location: I mean, Hogwarts is amazing, the descriptions of the castle never get old. Trope you wish they would stop using: Ehh... I honestly don’t know? One thing this book does better than others: I love how this show has such an inspired, dedicated, creative fanbase. The amount of HP related art, fanfiction, headcanons, ... out there is mindblowing. I’ve never quite seen that happen in any other fandom and it’s part of why I love this one as much as I do. Like how people can take a character that’s mentioned maybe a couple of times in the books and they create so much content for them to the point where I’ve actively had to stop myself from writing an answer to this questions because the answer isn’t canon, that’s admirable. Funniest moments: Fred and George wrecking havoc on Umbridge and finally leaving the castle after they get caught is without a doubt the funniest scene I can think of. Couple you would like to see: Like I said, I was never really into shipping anyone with anyone. I enjoy quite a lot of fanon ships I see on Tumblr, though. Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: / Favourite outfit: Every outfit I can think of is influenced by the movies so I don’t really have an answer to this. I would’ve loved to see Hermione’s dress to the Yule Ball, though, and the Patil sisters’. Oh, and Fleur’s wedding dress. Favourite item: The Marauder’s map. Do you own anything related to this show: No. What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in: I’m a Slytherin. Most boring plotline: I can’t think of anything. The passage that bores me the most is the one where the Minister of Magic meets the Muggle Prime Minister but that’s not a plotline. I guess everything is just so well thought of, everything that’s in the books in there for a reason and I wouldn’t cut anything out of it. Most laughably bad moment: As much as I dislike JK Rowling, she wrote seven brilliant books. I can’t think of a bad moment. There are plot holes, sure, and things that really fucking bug me, but no laughably bad moments. At least, not any that I can think of right now. The fact that she gave Cho Chang two last names as a name is a bad moment, though - but it’s not laughably. It’s just more proof that JK Rowling is a terrible person. Best flashback/flashfoward if any: The memories Snape shows to Harry, and the ones they both get to see of each other during their Occlumency lessons. Most layered character: I love the character development Ron goes through. Most one dimensional character: Ehh. There were a lot of important characters so it makes sense that not all of them got the layers they deserved. Right now nobody who’s relevant to the plot comes to mind as an answer? Scariest moment: Well, when Harry and Dumbledore came back from finding the fake Horcrux, that had me scared. Not for their lives (because it was obvious that Harry would live and Dumbledore would die) but because it felt like all of Dumbledore’s plans would be ruined so that’d probably be the scariest moment for me? Grossest moment: Ehh... I would probably throw up if I had witnessed Nagini sliding out of Bathilda’s dead body so I’m gonna go with that one, that must’ve been horrifying for Harry, especially because he spares Hermione the details. Best looking male: Well the books name Cedric Diggory as the most attractive one, so... Let’s go with that one then? Best looking female: Fleur and Ginny Who you’re crushing on (if any): I would probably be all over Ginny if I had gone to Hogwarts. Favourite cast moment: / Favourite transportation: A Thestral! Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): I really love the descriptions of Hogwarts. Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: Oh god, so. many. Off the top of my head, here we go. 1. The carriages that bring the students back to the train station are mentioned specifically at the end of the fourth book and yet Harry can’t see the Thestrals until the beginning of the fifth book. 2. In what world are the Weasleys poor? Hermione specifically mentions in the seventh book that you can increase the quantity of food and Harry gets more wine for Slughorn and Hagrid with a spell in the sixth book, so no wizard or witch would have to spend any money on food, ever. And like with clothes and books and everything, why buy multiple ones? Just buy one and then duplicate it like when Hermione did it with the medallion? 3. Harry randomly remembering the phone number to get into the Ministry of Magic after almost an entire year, having heard them once: please. I started rereading the fifth book like two months ago for the gazillionth time and I already don’t remember them anymore. 4. Supposedly there’s a curse on the position as the DADA professor ever since Voldemort asked for the job, so there’s a new teacher every year, but Professor Quirrel is introduced in a way that makes it seem as if he has been teaching there for quite a while and other students (like Fred and George) treat him as such - seems to me like the curse was only activated with Harry coming to Hogwarts but that’s not what’s canon. 5. Voldemort conveniently waiting for the end of the school year each year to make his move. 6. The school year somehow always starts on a Monday and the Hogwarts express always leaves on September 1 which would mean that September 1 was a Sunday for seven years in a row. 7. Why, WHY, would they use feathers and parchment? What the hell is wrong with pen and paper? Or things like torches, when electricity has been a thing since forever? And the same goes for using owls to send letters, or the memos that are used in the Ministry of Magic: just text or e-mail, dudes. One sloppy ‘this doesn’t work here because there’s too much magic in the air’ just doesn’t cut it for me, especially because Harry does wear a watch, for instance. I probably have more but this is all I can come up with right now. xD Best promo: My childhood best friend bugging me about the books until I finally caved and started to read them. xD At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: Literally the first chapter.

Send me a show/fandom and I’ll answer

#hp #ask

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snowyseahorse · 6 years

Note

All of them

why do you do this to me

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?

Are We There Yet by Timeflies and Chase Rice

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

Where to find Better People

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

Pulling myself out of my worst emotional/mental state like a year ago and evolving because of it (and I guess my grades too lol I have a 4.0 and I’m taking 4 AP tests monday-wednesday)

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

Dancing in my room and Feeling Good

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

I’d tell the truth more and tell people I love them and take easy classes because What’s The Point and make out with more people (I haven’t made out with anyone in like 6 months I’m sad) and get my driver’s license and cry more

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

I don’t! I just want to be happy. Nothing else matters.

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

Jeremy @diediedie000000000000000000000 is my closest friend right now and he’s fantastic. He has the most confusing eating habits and I don’t even try to understand them; he’ll eat like 3 servings worth of pastries and beef jerkey and sunflower seeds and 5 thin mints for breakfast. His metabolism is golden too, so he eats so much but has no body weight or fat. His hair is black and long enough to run my fingers through, which always messes it up. (but he says he enjoys it so it’s all good) He likes the aesthetic when it’s wet and all over the place, but doesn’t like actually having wet hair. His skin is perfect too and he has cute little freckles below his eyes that make him look like a literal angel. He doesn’t like drawing attention to himself but is a sluT for attention from his friends, so when I randomly take pictures of him he looks so bashful and pleased and adorable and tries so hard not to smile. On FaceTime sometimes he’ll just straight-up ask for attention and I turn off my laptop and we both lay down on our beds and make noises at each other. It’s so hard to believe that he used to ignore me in the hallways because he’s shy. I’d pass him and call his name or touch his shoulders and he wouldn’t even make eye contact. He also lied and said that he doesn’t like cuddles, and now he’s one of the most physically affectionate people I’ve ever met. (he also said that he didn’t like to say “I love you” to his friends and guess what else changed) Even at school he’ll get really close and just touch my leg or my side. (our computer graphics 2 class probably all thinks we’re dating) He does this cute thing where if I pet his nose he like leans his head into my hand like a cat and my brain is just like oh my gosh protect this human. He has a lot of cute mannerisms too. When I’m on the call and he has to put his phone down he makes the same little face that he uses for literally every snapchat he sends, with his lips pressed together and his eyebrows raised. If he’s explaining something really intensely he will sometimes curve his fingers like he’s holding two tennis balls and tense up his entire body. He’s an enneagram 4, which basically means that he gets high off of being special, and we use it as a meme when we’re talking about him. Whenever I do something weird I ask him if it “satisfies his ennegram 4” and he replies that it does. He also likes doing things that make him feel closer to someone, I guess because it reaffirms his importance and reliance. Wearing no makeup or having messy hair or singing in front of him are things he really appreciates(I’ve done all three). I’m painting him as really soft and pure but he also can be quick to retaliate (”if someone starts something, you can be sure I’ll finish it”) or become defensive if he considers himself provoked. He doesn’t like having people dislike him though, and is really proud of not hating anyone or having any real enemies. His memory is terrible, especially at night, and honestly it’s a miracle if he remembers anything that happens past 9pm. Even his short term memory after dark is pitiful. There was one night where I tested him and told him to remember a song, and 10 minutes later when I asked he has no idea what I was talking about. I’d ask him to corroborate the story but there’s no chance that he remembers. The lack of memory makes him really doubtful of facts too. My favorite test is to ask “Jeremy, did I grow up in a fjord?” (I didn’t) and he usually starts with “no”, but if after he answers I don’t say anything, he always changes to “yes?” and prompts my “JeremY, this literally happens every time. You KNOW that I didn’t, and just because I stay silent doesn’t mean that you’re wrong.” Am I a bad person? He really just needs to be protected; I’m so worried that one day he’ll literally sell his soul or do drugs or blow all of his money and just think nothing of it. I would never trust Jeremy with finances. He’s an impulse buyer, and sometimes also gives people way too much money to eat spicy food or something else unpleasant; it drives me insane because I despisE spending money. Video games are another one of his vices. He’s amazing at every game he plays. It’s really just excessive at this point. Pokemon is his childhood and he destroys me on Pokemon Showdown constantly. (I’ve never played a proper pokemon game) He got me into PS, eating in my room, and RWBY, and I introduced him to Be More Chill and Heathers and Hamilton. He can sing really well, which is only further proof that he’s actually an angel. I feel like we have a pretty good balance as friends. He tackles his emotions head-on while I avoid them at all costs. He like to be able to rely on other people and I only want to rely on myself. He only owns one pair of shoes (by choicE) and I love feeling pretty by wearing makeup and outfits I like. He keeps his family out of his social life and I tell mine everything. He’s a wonderful friend and I don’t deserve him at all but I try my best to.

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

Yes! My family is wonderful so I got lucky.

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

I don’t know. I usually don’t. It was probably Jeremy though.

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

Jeremy,,,,,, because he’s my closest friend.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

To an extent. It depends on who they are.

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

I haven’t stayed up until 3am probably since I was dating my ex boyfriend, so him.

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

Probably tell my mom that I love and appreciate her.

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

They wonderful and u n i q u e

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

“It is a dangerous thing to unbelieve something only because it frightens you“ - Cheshire Cat in the book “Heartless“ (I just really like it because it’s so consistent with truth and fighting against oneself)

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

I don’t know, maybe something about evolving and getting through thing and becoming better. Maybe “Better” because it also aligns with the OneRepublic song

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

I hate spending money, I’d probably just hold onto it forever

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

I used to be more so, but life isn’t as black and white as it used to be.

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.

Literally 12 year old me was doing fine. She doesn’t need a letter. 14 year old me maybe did.

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

pastel

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

I don’t think I’ll get any more piercing than the ones in my ears now because earrings irritate my ears and it just wouldn’t be worth it. I like the look of tattoos that are slightly darker than the skin, and are on the person’s hands or waist, but I probably won’t get any. I don’t know. People can do whatever they want with their bodies.

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

Foundation, eyeliner, mascara, concealer, some highlighter. I just like the look of it.

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.

I don’t know, but TOP is always a good choice for this. I made my Depression Castle in minecraft listening to them.

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

I believe in you

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

The only one that made me feel anything was when I saw OneRepublic with my ex boyfriend. He started talking about depression and my hearT.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

I’ve talked about the first person I was in love with, and I’d probably want the letter to be from her because we don’t talk that much now. We’re going to prom in the same group and she’s going to be so gorgeous and I’m going to gravitate to her like I always do and I don’t know. I just want to know that she doesn’t hate me.

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?

Yes! I’m sentimental as hec and so I have pieces of paper from my friends and small things and sticky notes all over the back. (actually I calligraphied “Riley” and “Katherine” onto sticky notes a while ago to put there because I don’t have anything physical to remind me of you two)

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?

Call Jeremy, brush my teeth, floss, I’m probably already in pajamas, take my makeup off, unmake my bed, take my bra off, get into bed, say goodnight, sleeP

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

That I masturbate………. My mom was talking once about how I might not orgasm until I’m in my 20s and that’s ok, and I just kind of laughed. It would probably be fine if I told her but ya know

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

I just redyed it pink today!

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

Jeremy, Marissa(she doesn’t have a tumblr), @parksandrecmeup, @sparklygemsuniverse, and @internet-pringle and honestly I’d go anywhere with them

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

Happiness (it’s what I always wish for at 11:11)

That my future will be wonderful

That the world will improve

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

When I was smol my mom sewed this thick piece of fabric together and we painted and stick feathers to a mask so that I could be Hedwig from Harry Potter. I was so warmmmmmm

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

Never been either because I’m boring

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

Kill someone

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

Song, because I can still go about my normal life and interact with society

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.

Twice! The second time was better and softer. I was always smiling and happy, and texted him 24/7. My heart felt like it glowed.

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

Nah. I like my hair

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

Hot chocolate because I Avoid starbucks, and anyone can order for me tbh

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

Myself *sunglasses emoji* (I’d say Jeremy but like he doesn’t need my help, my main goal is helping myself)

#well theres a long rant in there #can you find it

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thescarecrowsbrain · 6 years

Text

Two things

Alright guys, two big points today-

I finally believe I am an adult

I found religion

So first, I’ve had this feeling for the past several months like adulthood was creeping up on me. I couldn’t see it yet, but I could tell it was getting close. In the last semester of college, it was glaringly apparent that I was not the youth who walked onto campus four years prior. I didn’t really feel any different, but every time we went out on the weekend I felt compelled to tell the new freshman girls to drink water and make good choices. That behavior is a far cry from the vodka-filled water bottles and gravity bongs of my immaturity (sorry dad). Not that my wild nights and rough mornings are behind me, but now I have the forethought to leave water and advil on the nightstand, and I can identify the poor choices as I make them, not after the fact. Also, there’s definitely more board games involved than beer pong now.

But like I said, it’s been creeping up on me. After graduation, I knew it was almost upon me, but I still couldn’t quite shake the last sticky vestiges of adolescence. This was partly my intention in coming to Moscow. I thought if I could hack it here, my fresh monarch wings would dry and I could fly off to New York to start my life.

I can’t help comparing my time in Moscow to my time in Irkutsk two years ago. I showed up so scared in that city. I hid in my room and slept as long as I could so I wouldn’t have to come out and face the strangeness. My first day in Moscow, I wandered out into the street and wandered about completely at ease.

Yesterday, I was running nine miles along the Moscow River; I looked up and realized I am happily living a life in a Russian city. The edgy fifteen-year-old I once was would be so proud. I enjoy my job, I have interesting conversation with my coworkers, I have friends I enjoy spending time with, I’m a regular at my favorite coffee shops and restaurants where they know me and my usual order, I am able to pursue my passions and interests, I can shop and clean and take care of my daily needs, I’ve even been casually seeing someone, but mostly- I’m a generally happy person and I enjoy spending time alone exploring the city and my thoughts.

So there it is right? I’m a functioning well adjusted adult now. I’m sure turmoil will soon return and I will call my mom crying from under a pile of protective blanket armor, but not right now- right now I am an adult.

But- for those of you who don’t believe me-

A more tangible list of reasons I am now an adult:

- I eat tomatoes

- I can walk around the city in heels

- I have a preferred coffee order

That proves it right?

Either way, I’m so excited to move to New York, I think about it quite a bit. It’s never something I pictured for myself, or ever thought I would be excited about. But now that it’s in the cards, it suddenly feels like a dream. Sometimes my whole life feels like a dream, or the biography of the cool, awesome person I pretended to be when I was 6. All that you manifest is before you.

So with that, we can move on to what you all want to hear about, how I found religion.

Rest assured, I still don’t buy into any of the monotheistic nonsense most of the world seems to subscribe to. However, I started listening to a new podcast. It’s really interesting and it’s giving me a new perspective on religion. It’s called Harry Potter and the Sacred Text

So here’s what it is:

The two hosts are graduates of the Harvard Divinity School, and each episode, they read through a chapter of Harry Potter as one would read a sacred text. This means they read the chapters looking for specific themes and with specific methods to derive meaning from the text applicable to our individual lives, much like one would look for meaning in the bible or other religious text.

This has been a fabulously interesting exercise. A lot of people will pass this off as nonsensical heresy, but I think it deserves to be taken seriously. Understand, that the sacred texts of major religions are really just compilations of stories and adventures that revolve around a cast of minor and major characters. Harry Potter has, for some inexplicable reason, found favor across incredibly disparate cultures. It has been translated into 67 languages, sold hundreds of millions of copies, and at one point was the most requested book at the Guantanamo Bay Prison library. There is something in this story that resonates profoundly with people from all walks of life.

I know I am biased, I was privileged to grow up in the Harry Potter generation- waiting impatiently for the next book to be released and then spending consecutive sleepless days and nights consuming nothing but the text. Midnight movie premieres, countless Halloween costumes, theme park experiences, merchandise, art projects, playing pretend. I think its safe to say I practiced a religious devotion to this fandom. It is a world that has always been a safe and comforting place to return to.

And the way they go about reading the novels is inspiring me in a new way. I’ll just share with you two examples from the first couple chapters. The first chapter is read through for “commitment” and the way they do this gives you a new perspective on the Dursleys. A family we all love to hate, suddenly we see a family, however misguided, committed to their ideals and to each other (ok not Harry of course but still). Example- Mr. Dursley sits with his back to the window because he doesn’t want to be distracted from his work at the drill firm. This is a man committed to his work, and to providing for his family. When he needs to bring up the idea of the Potters to Petunia he skirts around it and chooses his words carefully. This is a man committed to loving his wife and to avoiding subjects he knows are painful to her. I know you can’t defend the way these people treat Harry throughout the books, but neither do you have to look at things as wholly black or white.

A second example: they often use a practice where they randomly point to a passage and they do a sort of deep read by looking at it four ways. First literally, then allegorically, then personally, then as an invitation. The passage they land on in the second chapter is when Dudley counts 36 presents and looks at his parents saying its two less than the year before. The female host who is Jewish, points out that in Judaism the number 36 is sacred because it is twice 18, and 18 is the numerical equivalent of the Hebrew letter/word for life. So 36 carries the meaning of double life (interpreted as prosperity or bounty). Consequently, gifts for Jewish holidays are often given in increments of $36. Dudley has been given the greatest gift one can give and it is still not enough for him. I thought this was a super cool interpretation of that moment we all love to reenact. I shared this thought with a Jewish friend of mine, she also thought it was really cool, but she asked me if I thought it was really supposed to mean that.

To which I responded, the intention is irrelevant. Here is a great quote I heard recently,

“We don’t see things how they are, we see things how we are.”

We all bring our own meaning to every experience. Whether J.K. knew what she was doing when she picked 36 isn’t important. The meaning we find comes from ourselves not from external sources. These so called “sacred texts” are just tools to reflect on our own experiences and see what we choose to see.

All that you manifest is before you

So I thought this podcast was a powerful explanation of what religion is supposed to be. I mean, obviously a lot of people are confused about it and apparently a lot of people are finding hate and bigotry inside themselves lately. So, I think maybe we should throw out the old texts and start over with some new ones, like HP, LoTR, BSG, Star Wars, or whatever resonates with you. Maybe people will be less confused then.

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