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augustinewrites · 7 months

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satoru absolutely does not know how to ride a bike idk how i know this but i know cw: suggestive content, mdni

“that was…good,” satoru settles on, still unable to properly articulate. he whines, still a little lightheaded and breathless as you roll off of him with a laugh, pressing a kiss to his shoulder before tucking yourself into his side.

“just good?” you tease, fingertips gliding over his chest. “if i’d known there was going to be a review, i’d have done that thing with my hips that you like.”

you roll your hips against his thigh, sending a warm chill down satoru’s spine.

“don’t do that,” he warns, but his face is flushed and he can feel himself getting hard again. “unless you want to leave the kids at your dad’s for another night.”

“oh! speaking of the kids!” your sweet movements stop abruptly, causing him to peek one eye open to send you a long suffering look. “my father bought the kids bikes yesterday, and i told him you’d teach them how to ride them.”

now, it’s no secret that gojo satoru is good at a lot of things.

he can manipulate the infinity around him and exorcise special grade curses with the flick of his wrist. he knows the words to every avicii song and can make mug cakes that don’t always explode in the microwave.

there’s only one thing he can’t do.

“i remember when my dad taught me,” you sigh. there’s a fondness in your eyes as you describe the memory. it’s something special and cherished, and satoru wants that for his kids.

_____

“this isn’t funny, shoko!”

“you’re right.”

“thank you—”

“because it’s hilarious. gojo satoru, the strongest sorcerer of our time, never learned how to ride a bicycle.”

she trails off in a fit of laughter. satoru hasn’t heard her laugh like this in a long time, and he’d be ecstatic if her amusement hadn’t come at his expense.

“i didn’t have anyone willing to teach me!” he tells her, huffing. “it was all cursed technique this and cursed technique that. not to mention bikes are literal death traps on wheels.”

“motorcycles are death traps on wheels. bicycles are for babies,” she corrects, though he can still hear the laughter bubbling in her response. “why’d you even agree to teach them?”

“because she did this super hot thing with her hips, but focus!” he whispers harshly. “i can’t teach the kids how to ride a bike! what if i just bought a car—”

“only you would try to buy a car for an 11 year old.”

“not for megumi. tsumiki’s basically 13. she can start learning so when she’s old enough—”

“so tsumiki is going to learn how to drive before you learn how to ride a bike? you are so tragic,” she snickers.

well, it sounds lame when she puts it like that.

he looks up when the sound of the shower running stops. “and you’re useless,” he growls into the phone. “i’ll ask nanami.”

_____

NOT GOJO

[shoko]: i heard gojo’s teaching the kids how to ride their bikes

[you]: yeah :) i’m so excited!

[shoko]: me too.

[shoko]: can you send videos?

[nanami]: I would also like to see videos.

[you]: sure. but why the interest?

[shoko]: bcs i care about them and want to celebrate their achievements

[you]: you didn’t come to megumi’s violin recital because you said you valued your eardrums.

[nanami]: It will be a fun moment to look back on when they’re older.

[shoko] yeah that ^

[you]: fine i’ll send videos.

______

the sun is just beginning to set and the city beginning to settle when you take the kids to the park.

“i really think—”

“satoru, we are not teaching megumi how to teleport to school.”

“but if he uses the shadows—”

you thrust a helmet into his hands, stern look shutting him up immediately.

“fuck,” he mumbles once your back is turned to help the kids. he shoves the helmet onto his head and buckles it tightly.

the kids walk over to him with their little bikes, the huge helmets on their head making them look like bobble heads.

you document his torture with a quick photo before giving him the floor.

“riding a bike is…super simple,” he tells them, patting the seat of your bike. “you get on, put your feet on the pedals, and…pedal.”

the kids only stare at him, confused looks on their cute faces.

“maybe you should just show them,” you suggest.

“why don’t you show them?” he quickly deflects. please please please—

“no! i’m taking the video!”

fuck.

satoru grips the handles of the bike tightly. he’s faced the worst of the worst, died and come back to life. he could ride a stupid bike.

he kicks at the stand your bike is leaning on, getting it up on the fourth kick. he swings his right leg over so he’s straddling the seat, his feet planted firmly on the ground.

it can’t be that hard, can it?

“watch and learn, kids.”

he takes a breath, then pushes off and places his feet on the pedals.

the bike rolls forward slowly. it’s wobbly at best, but he’s doing it. he’s doing it! he picks up a little momentum, heading off into the sunset—

“satoru! don’t lead them downhill!”

sure enough, the path in front of him leads down a slight decline. he squeezes the brakes and jerks to the side, sending him toppling over the bike and into the grass.

as he lays in the grass, dazed, megumi and tsumiki bike right past him. he’s sure the former even rolls his eyes.

“they have training wheels,” he says when you run over to check on him. “they’re cheating—”

“do you not know how to ride a bike?!”

“i never learned,” he grumbles, cheeks blushing at the admission.

“oh, honey,” you sigh, brushing some grass from his shirt. “why didn’t you just tell me?”

you kiss his brow, unable to hold back your laughter as he pouts. “you were so excited about me teaching them. didn’t want to disappoint anyone.”

“you could never disappoint us,” you tell him firmly. “now come on, i’ll teach all three of you.”

so you teach him, holding onto the back of his bike until he’s steady, until he’s confident enough to do it on his own.

he’ll get the hang of it eventually.

#gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #gojo fluff #keeping up with the fushigojos

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malleusthehammer · 8 months

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Helloooo (●’◡’●)ﾉ could I please request Buddha, Adam, Sasaki and Leonidas with a preteen reader (12 years old) that likes to prank the gods all the time? Like putting a whoopee cushion under Shivas or Thor seats, drawing on anyone's face if they even think about taking a nap when reader is around, only small things that can't really hurt people, and no one can stop them because reader can just teleport away or make a clone of themselves, they prank everyone but them (the characters I requested) and when they're asked why reader just says “their likeable enough” I feel like this would be so chaotic and in a way wholesome 😭

YES OM GI I LOVE THIS IUDE S< ITS SO CUTRE!!! Also i am SO SO SO sorry for the wait!! Also its platonic considering that the reader is 12 years old so-

Pranking with Buddha, Adam, Sasaki, and Leonidas! Warnings: Yelling? Type: Headcanons and drabble!

🍬 Buddha

Dude he LOVES pranking with you!!

I mean, how could he not?

He does blow your cover a LOT because of his loud laugh

He usually takes the heat from the other gods that are being pranked because hes just like that

He thinks its so cool that you can just make a clone of yourself!

You were sneaky, sneaky enough to get past all of Shivas wives that is. When you passed by them on occasion, they treated you like a child of their own. Showering you in gifts and hugs! But- that was besides the point, yes? Buddha had finally convinced you to do that shaving cream prank on the god of destruction. So, you both snuck into the gods room, silent as a mouse. Buddha promised you a handful of candy from his stash if you pulled this off. you knew this was going to be easy-peasy! Maybe so easy and flawless youd get two handfuls of candy!

You silently -or rather, as best you could- sprayed the shaving cream in Shivas hands. His sleeping positions were erratic, so you made sure to cover all four hands in the cream before pulling out the feather you had. Your devious acts had led up to Munin loosing one of his tail feathers, you kept it. Almost like a trophy. You handed the feather to Buddha, who looked like he was about to explode with laughter any moment. Somehow, he kept his cool, tickling Shivas nose with the feather.

The 4-armed god stirred, to then slam a handful of shaving cream in his face. He was quick to wake up, trying to look around, omly to get more shaving cream everywhere.

"GODDAMNIT [Y/N]!!"

His voice rumbled in the room, his arm lunging towards you. You knew this would happen, so you were quick to make a clone to stand. Once Shivas palm hit the clone, it puffed into dust. This caused the God to get even madder. But what made it all worse was Buddha dying of laughter in the corner.

🍎 Adam

At first hes like "How do you find this hilarious?!?"

But then, you pranked Zeus..

and this opened his eyes for REAL

You had tried your best to come up with a prank for the old god Zeus, but nothing would stir in your mind. Eventually, you fell back to your roots of scaring. You hid behind the door of the Gods lounge, knowing the old man would be coming in soon. Once you had heard his distinguishing laugh, your plan was set into motion. You waited till just the right moment to pop out from behind the door. Unfortunately, you weren't far enough away from the door.

Zeus reacted by swinging his arms out in defense, causing the door to slam right back into you. The knob of the door went straight into your stomach, causing you to hit your head hard against the marble wall. You quickly fell to your knees in pain, hearing the old man guffaw and laugh about how you shouldn't scare him like that. You had learned your lesson, not to return to your roots.

You shamefully walked down the grand halls of Valhalla, coming to the garden. Adam saw you, hurrying over to see what was wrong. He was quick to help you, laying you down in the grass as he held an icepack to your head. You both laughed about what happened til Adam broke the silence.

"Little one- why dont you pull pranks like that on me? You do it on all the others.. Are you plotting a big prank on me?"

You giggled and shook your head, explaining how he was like a dad to you. And of course, who would prank their dad?

⚔️Sasaki Kojiro

He's never there to watch you prank but he loves hearing you tell the stories afterwards

You had managed to prank Aphrodite with a couple fake spiders, causing her to scream and sling her food off the table. Her hench men tried to calm her down by showing her that they were face spiders. But that only made it worse. She was running from them, hiding in her own room. You had watched this entirely, trying so hard not to laugh your ass off. After everyone calmed down, you were quick to go find Sasaki.

He was were he usually was, against the fountain in Valhalla's garden. You were quick to run up to him, sitting right down next to him. You both laughed and talked as you blabbered on about your prank. He started busting out laughing when you even reenacted how Aphrodite reacted! After you both calmed down from your laughing fits, you sat back down next to him on the edge of the fountain. Sasaki knew how much you loved pulling pranks on the others in Valhalla. Sometimes even more that Loki himself! Sasaki couldn't help but ask why you didn't pull pranks on him.

"Ahaha- ah.. Now, this makes me wanna ask ya.. Why don't cha pull pranks on me?''

You sat there for a moment. Why didn't you? Well of course you wouldn't pull a prank on someone you care about so dearly! Sasaki was shocked by your answer at first, but was so happy you cared so deary about him!

🛡️ Leonidas

He usually takes the downfall for your pranks because :3

helps you get the supplies and everything!!

lets you hide behind him bc he lowkey scary

Unlike the others, he is always backing you up on the pranks. He's always encouraging you. He's gonna have you writing prank ideas down on a notepad he comes up with ideas so quick. Today, you and him were walking down the halls of Valhalla. He held his cigar between his two fingers as he talked on and on about some pranks he pulled in his younger years. You followed behind closely, furiously writing the ideas down on your notepad. Leonidas chuckled as he saw you writing stuff down as you both walked. He huffed on his cigar for a moment before a thought popped up in his mind.

"Hey kid, why don't cha pull pranks on this old man?"

He smiled and pointed to himself with his thumb. He raised a brow at you for a moment, waiting for your reply.

You sat there, dumbfounded. You really hadn't thought about it.

"I guess- cuz your like the prank master! Like my mentor!"

Leonidas' eyes widened for a second as he thought about what you said. His smile grew as he wrapped his large arm around you. He laughed as he ruffled your hand with his large hand.

"Ahaha! I knew you looked up to me, but not that much! Thank ya, kid!"

YOOOOO HGHJUYGBHJ DIES honestly this was my first time writing for Leonidas and i LOVE HIM SM hes so silly!! also i kinda got carried away with Buddhas so i hope you forgive me for that. BUt i truly hope you enjoyed it!! alsi my asks are open!!

#record of ragnarok x reader #ror x reader #record of ragnarok #record of ragnarok art #record of ragnorak #kojiro sasaki #sasaki kojiro record of ragnarok #leonidas #shuumatsu no valkyrie #snv #ror #apollo #adam record of ragnarok #ror buddha #buddha record of ragnarok #record of ragnarok buddha #buddha x reader

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diabolikk-loverss23 · 1 year

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Scenario 1: you break your fucking leg on the first day.

♤SHU♤

-You broke your leg tripping over him... like why was he by the stairs???

-He laughed a little too much

-You: "It's not funny." Him: "It's not funny, it's hilarious-"

You looked up at Shu from the bottom of the stairs holding your injured leg. Tears were definitely flowing and you were definitely embarassed as fuck... You did not wanna look weak in front of him.. He laughed quietly almost mocking you with how slowly he descended stairs. You attempted to crawl away gritting your teeth and bearing the pain heading for the front door. Shu finally caught up to you as you were using the door to try stand up and try to get out. He stood over you and placed his hand firmly on the door with a smirk on his face. "S-shu... please don't-" Laughing, he responded, "You can't run from me now y/n..." he completely planned to monopolize you for the day. He picked you up and teleported y'all both to his bedroom. Shu laid down holding you ontop of him. He bit you over and over again until you passed out from the pain, and fell asleep with you there.

♤REIJI♤

-Fell right in front of him while serving his tea

-you wanted to impress him so bad, but ultimately you're too clumsy

-He does patch you up; which surprised you at first.. however it was followed by a lecture

"Perfect." You smiled as you finished his tea. You were hoping to suck up to Reiji because he seemed the most reasonable. (In a house full of vampires that is...) You picked out the prettiest china set and made sure to keep everything perfect. Arriving at his door; you interrupted his peace with a knock at his door. "Come in." Opening the door nervously; you fumbled in. As you walked closer, for some reason your foot got caught up on the trolley holding the tea. The whole sequence felt slow motion as you fell landing directly on your leg. "OW- Motherfu-" You held your leg as Reiji closed his book and stood up with a dissatisfaction plastered all over his face. You felt your whole body get chills seeing his face with the most menacing glare. His cold expression froze you on the floor. Looking down to hide your embarrassment you quietly said, "I'm v-very sorry, Reiji-san.." He wordlessly examined your leg; letting out a sigh when you whimpered at his forceful touch. "Your incompetence truly knows no bounds. I'll have to train you properly; this was such a pitiful display." He picked you up and carried you to the counter in his science lab to help fix your mistake.

♤LAITO♤

-"Awe little bitch did you hurt yourself?~ You'll have to rely on me now.. hehe"

-Sadistic then nice

- You were running from his advances and fell really hard on concrete...

'SHIT SHIT SHIT.' You fell hard on the concrete outside the mansion. Laito finally caught up with you and your whole body was panicked. Getting caught by Laito meant anything was on the table. Despite his "loving/pervy" attitude he was definitely mean and cruel. "Ah~ yes.. that's the face little bitch..." He kneeled down and held your injured leg in his hand. He looked you directly in the eyes as he squeezed your leg with his vampire strength. You immediately cried out and he smiled even more than before. "Can't you imagine it little bitch~? You struggling and writhing beneath me in pleasure with your poor injured leg shaking as well... Ah~ I can picture it so clearly~..." He hastily picked you up and took you to his bedroom to fix up your leg. "You'll have to rely on me, my sweet little bitch~"

♤AYATO♤

- laughing so hard

-"You're my stupidest prey ever..."

-drinks your blood until you pass out

Ayato chased you pretty regularly, so this was no different than all the other times.. except this time, there was a rock. Yep. A rock. Why was this rock here? How did you trip on it? And why was your leg pulsating in pain afterward? You tried to stand up to run again, but you fell right back down and could not get back up. If there was a God, he definitely hated you. Ayato's laughter rang out, breaking the little silence that you had. You looked up at him with a displeased face, and he laughed even harder. "H-how stupid are you?? You tripped over a ro-" He couldn't even get his sentence out because of his bellowing laughter. He keeled over and held his stomach, mocking you in every capacity. "Okay!! You can stop laughing now, I need help!!" Ayato immediately stopped laughing after your small outburst, "And why should the great Ore-sama help you, Titless/melons?" His whole demeanor changed, and you got chills. "Y-you're right... I'm completely at your mercy, Please help me, Aya- Ore-sama." Ayato smirked and picked you up, "That's more like it." He bit you hard and teleported you to his room.

♤KANATO♤

- Terrifying.

-hysterical laughter

- "This is too funny, (y/n)... now there's no way you can escape me."

Dolls??? Human dolls???? Why did you have to pick the maniac?!? You were running from the horrific scene when you tripped and fell. Hard. "K-kanato... wait, I think I broke my le-" He cut off your sentence by laughing hysterically at you. You started crying, and Kanato stopped laughing. "Awe, poor little (y/n)... did you hurt your leg?" He cooed. You tried to calm down, but your fear was swirling your brain right now. He could totally kill you right now and turn you into one of those sick dolls.. You felt Kanato's cool hand run over your leg, and he cooed softly at you again. "Like a broken little doll~ I'll fix you right up.." You immediately started crying harder. "Be quiet!" He screamed and slapped you hard. You held your cheek and looked at him in silence. He picked you up and carried you to his room to patch you up. Singing softly as he did so.

♤SUBARU♤

- doesn't care at first, but then you started crying

- A big softy for your tears

-"Tch... Fine... I'll help you, I guess... but this is the only time."

You and Subaru had a weird relationship.. He had his anger problems, but he could be sweet when he wanted to. You had tripped over a stair while he was walking ahead of you. "Ow ow ow... shit..." You looked down and saw your ankle twisted. Subaru looked behind himself and saw you holding your ankle. "What the fuck did you do?" It's like he couldn't keep his eyes off you for one second without you messing something up. "I-I think I twisted my ankle.." he sighed in annoyance and walked back over to you on the floor. "Do you think you can stand?" He actually looked concerned for a second. "I-I don't know..." You tried but to no avail. "Fine.. hold out your arms." Subaru picked you up and carried you to your room where he patched you up. "Thank you, Subaru." His eyebrows furrowed in anger, and he leaned down and bit you hard. "I didn't do it for you. So don't expect me to take care of you or anything."

#diahell #diabolik lovers #shu sakamaki #reiji sakamaki #subaru sakamaki #diabolik lovers laito #ayato sakamaki #kanato sakamaki #reiji x reader #ayato x reader #shu x reader #kanato x reader #subaru x reader #laito x reader #sakamaki family #diaboys

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weebnotheree · 7 months

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Lolbit! Reader(M) x Hazbin Hotel PT.1

They Disappeared???

Y/n's pov It is currently 11:33pm, almost 12:00am. Everyone's waiting for the night guard to show. I go bored so teleported through the computer monitors and manifested out if it. Walking around I saw Toy Freddy sitting in the Parts and Service Room playing video games and Five Nights on his big-screen TV with Mr. Hugs. The problem is Toy Freddy has never really been very good at playing video games, and if he loses his game, he'll probably blame you for it. He lost the game.. again, which I'm not surprised. I teleport beside him.

T/Freddy- "Mr. Hugs got me again!That game was totally rigged!"

He got startled when I spoke because he didn't know I was there.

Y/n- "Hmm maybe try ha-a-arder next time." *Laughs historically*

He got mad at me which I didn't care, I just loved annoying people.

T/Freddy- "It's not MY fault! I have these fat plastic fingers and can't press the buttons!"

Y/n- "*sighs hard* I feel bad man."*laughs more*

T/Freddy- "Well you made me lose!"

Y/n- "No. You're just bad at it." I laughed again before going to a computer monitor and teleporting through it.

~CBPW~:still Y/n pov

As I was going to Circus Baby Pizza World to see what was going on, I heard people arguing, which I already knew who it was because they do it all the time it's hilarious. It was currently 11:46pm.

F/Foxy- "I know exactly where you are, Hahahahaha."

F/Freddy- "That sounded terrible."

F/Foxy- "Says the one with no acting experience. I'm the only-"

FF speed walks to ffoxy, putting his finger over his mouth to shush him.

F/Freddy- "No, shut up! Shut up with that! I DON'T wanna hear it!"

F/Foxy- He smirks. "Oh? What? Are you afraid of being wronged?"

F/Freddy- "I'm afraid of you going on for 3 hours about how great you are at acting, NOBODY CARES! Everyone knows and no one cares 😤😭."

F/Foxy- "I am the only one here that understands, and you're constantly (while talking ffreddy says,"SHUT UP, I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT!") acting like a child about it!"

F/Freddy- With Freddy yelling bon bon covers his hears. (Poor bon bon 🥺) "I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT!"

F/Foxy- "Every single time!"

F/Freddy- "I don't..want to hear it!"

F/Foxy- "You can't just-"

F/Freddy- "SHUT UUUP!"

F/Foxy- "NO YOU SHUT UP!"

F/Freddy- "SHUUTUUUP!"

Y/n trying really hard not to laugh at how ridiculous their acting over something.

Ballora- "You two hush. And keep your voices down." She said with a calm tone, spinning towards them.

F/Freddy- "It's not MY fault! It's always FOXY who's starts it!"

F/Foxy- "Ooh? And what do I do that SO annoying to you?"

F/Freddy- "We don't need to know about how great you are at acting. WE ALREADY KNOW! We were programed with it dang it!" He says with annoyance.

F/Foxy- "I think you're just jealous..."

Freddy gets real annoyed now and it takes him a few seconds to answer.

F/Freddy- "JEALOUS?!!

F/Foxy- "That's what I said."

F/Freddy- "YOU think i'm jealous."

F/Foxy- "Yes I do."

F/Freddy- "That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life."

They all 3 hear a bang. Both Foxy and Freddy startled, turning around. Ballora didn't have to, she could hear really good and because y/n was laughing so hard. He was in the vents.

"Is that the Night guard?!" Freddy asks startled.

"What time is it?!" Foxy asked.

Ballora- "No, it's just y/n." She said in a calm voice.

First person pov After they said that you teleported where they were.

Y/n- "Ahahaha. You guys a-a-are hilarious! That was quite a-a show." You say while laughing and wagging your tail.

F/Foxy- "hey y/n! Wanna hear some of my jokes." He waggs his tail a little. "Freddy says they're annoying."

F/Freddy- "because they ARE!"

Y/n- "yeah sure."

F/Foxy- "You here that Freddy, y/n actually wants to hear my jokes. Unlike you he actually listens."

F/Freddy- "yeah whatever. I still don't care! Hmph."

Ballora- "Y/n, what time is it?"

Y/n- "Hmm, let's se-e-e." He teleported to the clock that was in a different room and then teleported back. "11:57pm." You were smiling.

Ballora- "Okay, thank you." She starts spinning, heading back to her stage.

Y/n- "Hey, you two sh-sh-should get going."

F/Freddy- "Okay cya." He hurried back to his stage.

Y/n- "Are you gonna go back to your s-s-stage."

F/Foxy- "Nope." He says playfully.

Y/n- "You'll get control shock." Saying with your signature smile. When you asked him if he was gonna go back to his stage he had a look of sadness but hurried and switched it to a pouty face, but you saw.

Y/n- "I don't w-w-want you to get hurt now."

F/Foxy- "I know I know. - >-"

Two minutes had passed, making it 11:59pm. Two of Ballora's mini ballerina's to tell the two that they need to hurry up and get in h their positions. But they disappeared, right in front of the mini ballerina's.

#hazbin hotel #demons #alastor #x reader #x male reader #funtime foxy #funtime freddy #animatronic #fnaf #fnaf security breach

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offbranddrpepsi · 2 years

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Heya! Can I ask for awkward seggs moment with valorant agents? Feel free to ignore if you don't feel like doing it, have a great day!!<3

i love this ask thank you so much anon

Brimstone: Had to be when he got a phone call from Phoenix right in the middle of railing his partner, answered it on speaker and Phoenix opened with “hey dad”. Had to hang up because his partner started laughing too hard

Viper: Her snake once escaped in the middle of her partner going down on her, the little scale friend climbing up her partners back.

Breach: His arm has popped off multiple times during sex and he finds it incredibly funny but also really hard to come back from because one second you are in the zone and the next you are standing there missing an arm.

Jett: Sneezed and accidentally threw her partner back with a gust of air. Was not harsh in the slightest but was a good enough shove it knocked them off her.

Sage: One of the other agents started looking for her, loudly screaming mom as they walked by her room. This is only second to when she had to urgently stop sex as Yoru broke his arm during a mission.

Reyna: Bit her partner so hard she drew blood and had to rush to get some gauze

Neon: Blew the power to the entire facility

Phoenix: Set fire to the bed twice

Cypher: His mask got stuck on his partners belt, how this happened he wont say but it was not a fun time. Has also tripped multiple times when trying to take off his coat/pants without removing his gloves first

Yoru: Called them a dumbass by accident, has also nearly teleported during sex

Raze: Told them good job after they finished and said they were cool

Killjoy: Started evaluating their performance instead of just saying if she was enjoying it, has also accidentally said video game lingo in bed multiple times

Astra: went star mode and scared the shit out of her partner

Kay/o: Over exerted himself and had to reboot mid sex, its like the window update from hell but its actively inside you.

Fade: Prowler has started just floating around multiple times during sex and it utterly embarrasses her, has also accidentally called her partner names/curses. I feel she’s also broken her evil eye ring before and freaked out mid act

Omen: teleported, also getting easily confused by something said. Has left a knitting needle in bed before too and was not sympathetic when his partner got stabbed in the ass

Skye: May have gone a bit too hard and dislocated something, this woman is very strong and sometimes doesn’t know her own strength. Probably also started using aussie slang that made her partner laugh

Sova: Moaned so loud someone came and knocked on his door asking if he was okay, he played it off as him stretching...no one believes him

Chamber: Commented that he would have to draw his partner like this sometime to capture their beauty to which he promptly got a “draw me like one of your french girls” joke and couldn’t stop fucking laughing, was upset he walked directly into the joke while trying to be sexy but also found it hilarious

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thepaintedlady00 · 1 year

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Hi again! I hope it doesn’t bother you for me to drop here again, if so feel free to ignore this. I saw this amazing art

https://at.tumblr.com/yoolkon/700705536213221376/uqrmu2klc7nt

And I keep laughing just thinking on how dream would struggle with technology. I know you have already done something similar, but I need more about reader trying to teach him to use new things

I absolutely do not mind getting sent amazing art! I totally didn't just spend the last 30 minutes consuming every single thing they have on their blog. Dream learning the ways of technology will never not be funny! 😂

Since you and Dream had begun courting one another keeping in touch between realms had been a bit of an adjustment. You saw one another every night when you went to sleep, oftentimes even before then, but during the day's Dream of the Endless had duties to see to which left you missing him. You'd expressed this feeling to him a few times, to which the immortal being made a suggestion you hadn't expected.

"I could get one of those devices humans use. Cell phones I believe you call them."

"You could?" You asked, looking at him over the library table. "Would that even work here?"

Dream looked to Lucienne, who shrugged her shoulders. "There's only one way to find out for certain."

Matthew chuckled. "This is going to be hilarious."

"I am eons old," Dream replied bitterly. "I am quite sure I am capable of figuring out a measly piece of human technology."

Both you and Matthew shared a look. "Of course, you can. It's not really that hard once you get the hang of the basics. I can help you!"

He smiled at you. "Thank you for the offer my love, should I need such I will come to you."

At first, you thought he would forget, he was quite busy ruling over the entire unconscious collective of the world, but the very next night he appeared in your apartment with a cell phone. You helped him put your number in and went over a few basics with him, calling, text messages, and so on. As the days passed he'd sent you messages, either far too long or far too short, during the days. At night you showed him emojis, which he had yet to figure out.

What was perhaps the most entertaining was the phone calls. Dream's cloak could hold any object he wished, including the phone he'd forgotten to hang up. You listened to the white noise of his star-filled coat as well as the sound of his muffled voice until he realized he'd forgotten to hang up. "My love? How is this still on?"

You laughed quietly. "Hi! Sounds like you're having a busy day."

"How is this happening?"

"You forgot to hit the big red button after you were done," you said, giggling even more when the call abruptly ended as he'd tested the truth behind your words.

Dream was already waiting for you when you got home, looking at the phone with narrow eyes. "I dislike this human nonsense."

You set your things down and joined him on the couch, curling into his side and kissing his cheek. "It can be a lot."

"I do not understand why your kind insist on such things. Would it not be better to simply go to whomever you wished to speak to?"

"It would be, but not everyone can teleport with magic sand, dear." You held your hand out to the phone and quickly opened his camera. "Smile."

He didn't, but that only made the photo look better in your eyes. You showed your picture to him and watched the corners of his mouth twitch upward. Dream was stoic by nature and so he'd never admit it, but he loved pictures of the two of you together. "I suppose that is a useful function."

"You don't have to keep it if you don't want to," you told him.

"You wished to speak with me more," he answered.

With a smile, you nodded. "Of course, I want to talk to you more. I love you. But I don't want you to have to worry about figuring a dumb phone out on top of all your other duties. Seeing you every night is enough for me."

Dream hummed quietly, pulling you into his arms and lounging back on your couch. "I shall keep it. I'll not be as fluent in this odd form of communication as you, but it is nice to have the option should I need it."

"You, Dream of the Endless, are amazing."

"As are you." He kissed your head and then asked, "What do these images mean? Matthew told me to "text" them to you." You looked down at the screen and clamped your hand over your mouth to conceal your fit of laughter. "How is an eggplant humorous?"

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itisannak · 3 years

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Car Sex (Luke Hemmings Smut)

Summary: Luke and (Y/N), both college students, living with their parents, have to get creative to find some alone time. (Smut / Unprotected Sex / Penetrative Sex / Public Sex / Creampie) (Words: 5.4k) (Request)

"Be back by 11:30." My dad shouts as I run down the stairs, heading to the door. "The movie ends at 12." I remind him, sighing over how strict he becomes when he knows I am going out with Luke. "12 it is then." He replies, peeking at me from his armchair. "I don't have classes tomorrow... And teleportation had yet to be invented last time I checked." I point out, crossing my arms before my chest. "Smarty-pants. If he brings you home a minute after 12:30, you are grounded." My dad tries to sound tough, but he is a big softie. I rush to him, leaving a peck on his cheek before strutting out of the door.

Luke has been waiting long enough in the car, longer than I would have the patience to wait for someone without pressing my hand on the horn. I did not expect to see him inside the parked pick-up park, but here I am, opening the passenger door to join him inside. "Wow, that is a first..." I comment, pressing my lips together to stop my laughter as soon as I am in. I just picture him as a hillibilly, chewing on a hay straw, and the mental image is enough to make me double over in laughter. "Shut up. My brother lent me it for the night." He explains, pulling out of the driveway. "Why does your brother have a truck?" I ask, pulling the seatbelt to fasten myself. "He works in constructions." He replies, turning his head for a quick peck on my forehead. "Right." I mumble. "What time does your curfew start?" He asks me, shifting the gears. "I have to be home at 12.30, not a minute later. It still fucks me up that I still have a curfew at 19 and you don't." I groan, crossing my arms. Luke shrugs, having a charming little smirk decorating his lips. "My parents had enough of setting rules for disobeying teenagers with my brothers, so I guess I had it easy, they never bothered placing one." He comments as I prop my elbow against the window's frame, supporting my head as I look at him. "There is no way your mother is that elastic with you. I had chills every time I walked into her class in high school." I really do exasperate, earning a laugh from Luke. I love it when he laughs; his face brightens up, and his dimples make him really irresistible, along with the crinkles around his eyes. I reach over, stroking a messy curl with my fingers, before pushing it off his forehead. "She is much chiller when you get to know her." He replies, resting his hand on my thigh. "I guess you are right." I sigh, feeling jittery at the way he touches me. "Pity I will have to take you home straight after the movie. I was hoping for some more time with you." He says in a low voice, almost like he fears getting heard. "It has been too long since the last time we had more time together." I reply. It would be a lie if I said I am not actively craving him. I still dream of his touch, the way he kissed me last time, the way he moved against me. "To be clear, I am talking about having sex." He explains and I chuckle, throwing my head back. "I am talking about having sex too, Luke." I reply, making him hum, pleased by my response. "We gotta do something about the housing situation." He sounds determined, which is just hilarious at this point. "Well, we are broke, college students who can only afford to live with their parents. I don't know if there is much we can do about it at this point." I reply, while his hand squeezes my inner thigh. "I am just... I just need more of you." He groans and I hum, feeling my stomach tighten at his words. "Can we talk about the movie? This is becoming... A little too intense for me." I bite my bottom lip, running my fingers through my hair. "Of course. They are showing the Texas Chainsaw Massacre." He states, letting his touch linger for a little longer before he removes his hand. I press my thighs together, trying to relieve some of the tension between them. It is hard for me to take my mind off Luke being inside me, kissing me, touching me, even with the prospect of watching a movie about cannibalistic psychopaths. "Why do you always pick horror movies for date night?" I groan, nudging his shoulder. "Because you always leave me in charge. And because the gore is the only thing stopping me from fantasizing about you." He replies, taking my hand in his and bringing it to his lips. "You fantasize about me?" I ask, feeling the tingly sensation making its way back. "All the time. My thoughts are just a never-ending movie of things I want to do with you... of things I want to do to you. And I am just trying to find ways to just pause that movie for a while." He admits. "Is the movie playing right now?" I ask, flushing as I wait for him to tell me. "You wanna know?" He asks and I nod at him, knowing my eyes are glistening with excitement. "Right now it shows the scene where it is Sunday morning, and we have just woken up, naked in bed. And I am just taking you in, in all your glory." He replies. "You are definitely giving me the PG-13 version right now." I point out and he shrugs. "I am keeping some of the good stuff for a little later." He winks at me, causing me to bite the inside of my cheek.

We purchase some popcorn and sodas from the drive-through kiosk before Luke finds the spot we are supposed to park. The back of the pick-up truck is facing the screen, which means we will have to get out of the car and climb onto the back. "I really want to see you try to get in the back, wearing that dress." Luke comments, picking up the snacks and getting out of the car. "I know you want to peek under my skirt, but gosh, don't be so obvious about it." I chuckle, hopping off the car. Luke waits for me in the back of the truck, holding his connected palms low, so I can step on them and go up the cargo bed. "You are a true gentleman..." I comment, leaving a peck on his cheek, before I step on his hands and he boosts me up. "Need help?" I ask him once I land just right. "I got it. Lay the blanket I have in there. And move the snacks, I don't want to knock them." He instructs, stepping onto the rim under the taillights. I hold the snacks tight as he steps in, dusting himself off. "This is actually nice." I admit, laying one of the blankets for us. "See? That will teach you not to laugh at me before you see my intentions." He comments, sitting down on the blanket, with his back against the divider. "You should be happy I am laughing. It means you make me happy." I reply and he hums. I take a seat between his thighs, leaning my head back on his shoulder, bringing my lips to his neck for a soft peck. "I promise to hold you tight at the scary parts." I whisper, knowing that I will spend the entirety of this movie with my face buried in his chest. "I will hold you up to that." He chuckles, leaving a peck on my forehead.

The night chill proves I am a fool for wearing a frilly little dress for the night screening. But luckily, Luke has predicted that and has brought a second blanket along, which now is covering our laps. "You look mighty cute in the cinema lights." Luke whispers, stroking my hair softly. "You are supposed to be focusing on the movie, not me." I laugh, trying to keep my voice low so I don't bother the rest of the viewers. "You are far more interesting than any movie." He replies, turning my head to plant a kiss on my lips. I smile against his lips, parting my mouth so he can slip his tongue past my lips. His hand softly grazes my face, and I then decide to turn around and straddle his lap. "You can't do that to me." He groans, throwing his head back. That gives me access to his neck, which I take advantage of and trail with kisses. "Why not?" I ask, pouting at him. "(Y/N), please... This is torturing. It has been too long since we had sex. I am craving you, and this is not helping me." He replies, while my hands move to his hair. "I am craving you too. I need you." I whine, earning a sigh. "I need you too. But we don't have the time nor the place to do that." He replies, and I shake my head. "What about right here, right now?" I ask, making him tilt his head and look at me, with eyes glazed in excitement. "You mean...?" "Who's going to see us? And don't say the movie is more interesting than me..." "Fuck the movie." He groans, bringing his hand to trace my thigh, stopping on the hem of my dress. "I'd rather you fuck me." I reply, earning a smirk from him. "This is risky." He comments and I shrug. "You love it, don't you?" I ask and he hums. He throws the lap blanket aside, laying me with my back on the blanket laid on the floor of the cargo bed. "You will have to be very quiet..." He states, stroking my cheek softly. "You are the one to talk..." I mumble before he leans down to kiss me.

He clumsily fumbles with the lap blanket, covering us for a mock discreteness, even though we both know a blanket will do nothing. He roams his hands from my face to my sides and then retires them on my thigh. I prop my leg up, wrapping it around his waist. "You are so soft." He moans against my mouth, squeezing my thigh softly. My lips curl into a smile, feeling goosebumps crawl onto my skin. "Oh shit." He groans, making me look at him with a furrow on my brow. "What? What happened?" I ask, watching as his face twists in frustration. "Condoms are in the glove compartment. I have to go back in the car." He groans, throwing his head back. "It is ok... We don't need one." I state, feeling my core becoming warm at the thought of him sliding inside me bare. "Are you sure about this?" He asks me and I nod. "It is not a risky day. I need you." I almost beg, causing him to chuckle at me, as his hands work his pants to free his cock. "I will just... Push your panties aside... No one will know what we are doing." He mutters, spreading my legs more, propping them around his waist. Blindly and clumsily, he tries to line up his tip to my entrance. The only lights come from the light poles around the parking space, and of course, the projector playing the movie, so there is almost only darkness surrounding us. Luke finally manages to slip inside me, moving slowly so the car doesn't rattle and bring any suspicion on us. "Shit, you feel good." He whispers by my ear, planting a peck on my earlobe. He buries his face in my neck, nibbling on my skin as he begins rocking his hips on mine. It takes me a moment to get my mind off the catastrophic thought that we are going to get caught, but the moment the first moan slips from his lips, I feel chills crawl down my spine. "Oh, God." I mumble, finally feeling his cock stretching me, with each thrust making me wetter and wetter. "Shh, we have to be quiet, remember?" He playfully reminds me, passing his tongue over the spot he was sucking on a second ago. "Buzzkiller." I whisper, but it soon turns into a gasp as he thrusts his whole cock inside me, making me pulse around him. I have to bring my hand to my mouth as Luke backs out and thrusts in again, this time with more force than before. I bite onto my palm, preventing myself from making a sound as Luke tries to find a rhythm for us. We both know this cannot last as long as the last time did; in contrast to the time we stayed up all night fucking, we will now have to be done in less than 10 minutes. "The way you take my cock is going to be the death of me." He mumbles as I buck my hips up to meet his thrusts, trying to find an angle for his cock to hit my spot. Luke groans softly, placing a hand under the small of my back to support me. "We are fucking under the stars." I giggle softly, squeezing myself around him. "I am going to find us a house, I promise you that." He slams his hips on mine, making the car move a little. "Careful." I groan, but the way he is rocking his hips on mine makes my mind fuzzy around the edges. We have to pray the people around us are too focused on the movie, or else we are putting on a show for them. Luke brings on hand from under my back to my cheek, touching it softly. "You feel so good around me, baby." He says raspily as I move my hips in a soft circle. The top of his cock brushes against my clit and I feel myself tighten around him. I muffle a whimper, closing my eyes tightly to focus on anything else but the way he feels inside me. "I can feel you here." I grab his hand and let it press on my lower stomach, right at the nook where I feel the impact of his thrusts. Luke strokes his thumb over that spot, giving me a slow, deep thrust, looking mesmerized by the way my stomach inflates and falls as he fucks me. His hand travels under my dress, heading straight to my breasts, cupping them and stroking his thumbs over my nipples. I whimper and shudder, bucking my hips against his and taking his cock more inside me. "You are going to fuck yourself on my cock, princess?" He asks cockily, pinching my nipple between his fingers, pulling at it sadistically slow. "Will you fill me up, daddy?" I ask him back; two can play this game. I can see his eyes sparkle at my question, even in the dark night. "Shit, (Y/N)... I am going to cum..." Luke groans by my ear, making me tighten around him in surprise. "Cum, please. I want to feel all of you inside me..." I groan, my mind becoming clouded by my need for him. "But you are not there yet..." Luke protests. "You have a mouth, don't you?" I ask him, heaving for breath. Luke chuckles and looks at me amused, before slamming his hips on mine, pinning me down to ravage me. Luke brings his face to my neck, muffling himself by biting onto my skin. I gasp in shock, the slight sting of pain sending waves of electricity down my body. "I am going to fucking wreck you... I am going to fucking ruin you for everyone else. You are mine... Just mine. " He groans, gluing his hips on mine as he cums, hissing as he reaches his high. It takes him a moment of grunting and breathing funny before he cups my face and kisses me harshly. "I am going to make you feel good, princess. I promise." His voice is still heavy and groggy from his orgasm, and he sounds so chillingly sexy, contrasting the loud chainsaw buzzing that goes off every couple of minutes in the movie.

He parts from my lips and slides down my body, spreading my legs more and fixing himself between my thighs. He traces my slit softly, watching me as I still pulse from the loss of contact. He uses his fingers to part my lips, revealing my entrance and my clit to him. He wastes no time lapping up his tongue on my sex, moaning as he tastes us mixing together. I smile to myself and look up at the night sky, taking in the pretty little stars as Luke curls his tongue on my entrance, gathering the pooling wetness and his cum on the tip of his tongue. He brings the tip to my clit, teasing it in slow, agonizing circles, making me jolt at every single one of them. Once he sees I am teased to a sufficient level for his liking, he wraps his lips around my clit, suckling on it hungrily. My breath gets caught in my lungs and I am baffling between bringing my hand to my mouth to stop any sounds from escaping or tangling my fingers in his hair, pulling at his locks, and guiding his mouth where I need him. "Luke..." I whine, messing my fingers in his hair, contrasting the intensity that courses through my body with the softness of his curls. Luke hums in approval, flicking his tongue against the head of my clit. I press my lips together and roll my hips in the air as my orgasm explodes inside me, spreading on my body. I try my hardest not to make a sound, nor move too much that the car squeaks. Luke moves up from between my thighs after he fixes my panties over my core. He leans in, kissing my lips softly. I realize that I have been smiling since I hit my orgasm, but only after Luke mimics my smirk. "I am going to find us a house." He announces again, tracing his hand softly over my cheek. "Yeah, we need one." I agree, moving my tongue across my bottom lip, tasting us together. "Do you think anyone saw us?" Luke asks, rolling next to me. I fix my head upon his chest, letting myself hear his heartbeat. "As long as we do not end up on a pornsite, I am not that mad if they did." I reply and he chuckles. "Kinky... I like that about you." "You like what about me?" I ask, cocking an eyebrow. "You are always up for testing your limits." He replies and I hum. "I wish we could sleep together tonight." He sighs, pecking at the top of my head. "I think my dad will neuter you if you show up at my house for a sleepover. And your mom will probably bound me in your basement and torture me for seducing her benjamin." I giggle and he scoffs. "My mom is not a monster." Luke protests playfully. "I don't know. Her nickname was Charybdis in high school." I mumble and he punches my arm playfully.

"Will you call me before bed?" Luke asks me as he parks in front of my house. "Do you want me to?" I ask him, undoing my seatbelt. "Since I can't sleep with you tonight, at least I would like us to do it over facetime." He shrugs, tapping the tip of my nose softly. "I will certainly facetime you then. I will see you on Tuesday, won't I?" I ask and he nods. "Ok then. Talk to you in a bit." I bite my lip before I lean in to plant a soft peck on his lips. He waits until I am inside the house to take off, which brings a smile to my face. He cares a lot and he is really protective, without crossing any boundaries. "Did you have fun at the movies?" My dad asks, making me jump at the sound of his voice. He has stayed exactly where I left him, which is a little creepy. "You scared the shit out of me, dad." I gasp, touching my chest and feeling my heart pounding. "We saw the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Not really my style, but it was ok." I reply and he hums. "If you wake up screaming in the middle of the night because you had a nightmare, I will know who to blame." He goes back to watching TV. It is not a secret that my dad does not really like Luke; he thinks of him as a devil in the disguise of an angel. "Goodnight dad." I run up the stairs to take off my makeup and get ready for my night call with Luke.

I tap my fingers nervously as I wait for Luke to pick me up. We are supposed to head for a dinner date, but I am not sure we will go through with it. Luke's car pulls up in front of me, and I rush inside, earning a look of surprise from him. "I was ready to wait for you at least 15 more minutes." Luke chuckles, helping me with my seatbelt. "Can you find a space somewhere a bit private?" I ask him, earning a hum from him. "I will be happy to..." He starts the car, aloof to my jitters.

Luke parks behind an elementary school, which seems abandoned for the day, before he undoes his seatbelt and turns to look at me. "It will do for now, don't you think?" Luke asks, cocking an eyebrow at me. "We need to talk." I state, making his face drop. "Oh. That sounds a little ominous." He replies and I nod my head. "I am late." I just let it out, dropping the bomb on his lap now. "Late for what? Do you have to be somewhere before our date?" He asks. I roll my eyes and rest my head back on my seat. "Luke..." I sigh. "What?" He asks, frustrated over my reaction. "My period is late. I might be pregnant." I explain and he looks at me dumbfounded. "Are you sure?" He manages to utter after a second of just staring. "My tracker says I am a week late. And I am never late, not this long. I am freaking out." I sniffle, my hands bunching up my cardigan. Luke stays silent, starting the car again. I feel awful in this silence but I understand he needs time to process it. It took me two days to swallow this, he deserves at least a couple of minutes to even begin thinking about it. It itches me on the inside to just ask him to say anything, but I decide to control myself. Without a word, he parks the car in front of a pharmacy and exits the car. It would make more sense for him to slam the door on the way out, but he didn't. I cannot find a way to translate his coldness and it pains me to sit here without a clue. He is gone for a little over 10 minutes but it felt a century to me. I don't dare ask him what he bought, so the car sinks in silence again.

The next stop is at a totally strange house to me. Luke helps me undo the seatbelt, still silent, and motions me to follow him. He unlocks the door to an apartment, letting me go in first. "What is this place?" I finally have the courage to ask once we enter the poorly furnished place. "I told you I would find us an apartment. I wanted to tell you at dinner, but I guess..." He replies, handing me the paper bag from the pharmacy. "Is it what I think it is?" I ask and he nods. "Luke, I am scared." I admit and he sighs. He wraps his arms around me, pressing his lips softly on my forehead. "I am too. But we need to face our fear. Or it will catch upon us." He replies, stroking a piece of hair behind my ear. "Come on. I will be right outside." He guides me to the small bathroom, giving me a small smile before I shut the door. It is such a lonely process doing this. I know Luke is waiting for me, I know that he is here for me, right outside the door that divides us, but I feel so alone. It is nerve-wracking, having to wait even a moment for the test that will define the rest of my relationship with Luke. There is a soft knock on the door, Luke's knuckles must barely even touch the wooden furniture. "Did you do it?" He asks nervously, but not demandingly. "I am waiting for the result." I sniffle. "Would you like me to come in and wait with you?" He asks. "No. I will be out in a minute..." I am too upset myself to have Luke's nervousness right now. "Ok, love." He sighs, giving up. I know he is trying to comfort me and this is the best way he can think of doing so, but it is just... I don't know if it is too much or too little.

The timer goes off and I know that I have to face the little plastic stick at last. It is so stupid that I am terrified by a piece of plastic, but I feel a tug at my heartstrings just at the thought of what the result might be. I peek at it, finding the word 'PREGNANT' on the little digital screen. Fuck. "Can I come in?" Luke asks. He must have heard the timer too so he knows the test has shown a result. I am too emotional to answer him, all I want to do is cry. How did that happen? Fuck, why did it happen now? We were always careful and we barely ever had a place to be just the two of us. God, that night at the drive-in... I was stupid enough to tell him it didn't matter going bare. Luke barges into the bathroom after my lack of response, his eyes instantly falling on me. He sighs understandingly, moving closer to me and wrapping his arms around me. "It's ok... It's all ok, love. Please, stop crying." He tries to soothe me, but it will take more than a hug and his soft voice to calm me down. "I've ruined both our futures..." I moan, my voice barely coming off. "No, no, you didn't. It is my fault too. Hey, we are going to be alright. She's gonna be apples, you'll see." He cheers, rubbing the small of my back soothingly.

My obstetrician could only see me 2 days after I took the test. Despite me wanting to rush to the first person with an available appointment, Luke told me that 2 days wouldn't hurt and we should go to the one I trust. And now as I am feeling in the form of family history and reason of the visit, Luke is sitting next to me, almost completely unfazed, as if his life is not about to tumble down. "How can you be so calm?" I ask him, annoyed by how cool he seems. "I am not." He replies, not even turning to look at me. "You are. You are awfully calm and cool for someone who is going to be a father before he finishes college." I whisper the last part, even though it is just us in the waiting room. I have been tiptoeing around admitting my pregnancy, not even daring to say it to myself out loud. "You think I am not panicking? You think I am not about to have a nervous breakdown? But I have to keep calm and be here for you. You are a mess, (Y/N)." He says through gritted teeth. "Well, I am sorry this is too much for me. I will try my hardest not to let my mess affect you." I snap, moving to a chair away from him. "I didn't mean it that way..." He protests and I hum, scribbling on the form fast.

The doctor calls me in her office, finally ready to exam me. Luke follows suit, asking her if it is ok to join us too. "Is it ok with you, (Y/N)?" She turns to me. "I really couldn't care less." I mumble, climbing onto the exam bed. Luke walks in, standing in the corner of the room awkwardly. "I will need you to take your jeans and underwear off for this." She instructs me and I nod. "Your urine sample gave us a positive pregnancy test, so I will have to go transvaginally to see the fetus. We have done this in the past, but you will feel slight discomfort when I enter the prob." She states, prepping the little wand. I feel as if I want to throw up, this ordeal has been stressing me out a lot. "Ok. Are you ready?" She asks as I lay on my back. I nod my head and take a deep breath, boosting myself for the exam. Pushing past the initial discomfort, I turn to look at my doctor as she looks at the screen with a frown. "Do you have any symptoms?" She asks me, looking at the ultrasound carefully. "No, other than my period being late, no." I reply and she hums. "You took a home test?" "Yes, it came back positive. Is everything ok?" I ask her. "Well, you are not pregnant. But you have a positive home test and a urine stip test. So my guess is there is proteinuria and that is why we had 2 false positives. I will order you a lab work for that, just to rule things out, but I think it might be stress-related." She replies. "I am not pregnant?" I ask, my heart skipping in relief. "You are not." She replies. "Are you sure?" Luke asks for the first time since the exam started. "I am very certain you are not expecting. Based on your reactions I will say congratulations, you are not pregnant." She chuckles, handing me a couple of tissues to clean up. "I will leave you to get dressed and go order the lab test. You can pick it up from my receptionist." She smiles at us before she leaves the room.

After the doctor's visit, I was craving ice cream, so Luke drove me to my favorite place for a strawberry soft serve. Since our date night was canceled from my pregnancy scare, we decided to take advantage of the nice weather and take a stroll at the park. He holds my hand in his as we both lick our ice cream as if the last couple of days didn't happen. "We are not having sex again without a condom." I lean my head on his shoulder as he hums in agreement. "That is certain." He adds. "I am sorry I was so... messy the last couple of days." I apologize and he shrugs. "It is one of the things I love about you." He brings my hand to his lips, pecking it lightly. "For what is worth, you were an excellent partner and you handled this scare probably the best way possible." I comment and he sighs. "I was scared beyond words. We are too young to become parents." "I agree. We barely have a place to be alone..." I point out. "Well, we do have it, though." He says, making me bite the inside of my cheek. "I really liked the space, from what I remember seeing..." "I am glad you did. Cause I plan on spending a lot of time in it with you." He plants a kiss on my forehead, making me feel my face get hot. "We never learn, do we?" I chuckle and he shrugs. "I think we learned our lesson." He takes a long lick of his dessert.

My Masterlist / Chronological Masterlist / The "Less than 100 Notes Fics" Masterlist / My Ko-Fi

473 notes · View notes

rinzis · 3 years

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what your favourite genshin impact character says about you: no holding back edition

i’m finally allowed to post again!!! great joy

aether/lumine: you’re basic as hell sorry . also stop fighting over who the better twin is they’re literally the same person but different genders. you’re pretty fun to be around ig but i feel like you eat food off the floor. 5 second rule not 5 hour rule ok

amber: ok i’ve actually met a bunch of people whose fav is amber and you guys are actually really sweet but pls learn when to stfu you’re so loud . also you guys go feral whenever someone (everyone else in the fandom) says amber sucks like chill bae

kaeya: jesus fucking christ your horny is off the scale. every kaeya stan i’ve ever met cant keep it in their pants. and we know the only reason you like him is bc of his giga bouncer supreme ultra man rack 3000. stop saying you want him to smother you with his tits. get some help.

lisa: YOU GUYS ARE COOL AS HELL!!!!!! as someone who relates to lisa you’re very cool. most chill people to be around and you’re definitely super smart. not lazy but just reserved. 11/10. oh btw do you use her for climbing?

diluc: do you have daddy issues? you guys definitely have a thing for the tsundere archetype and you probably like zhongli too. just admit you want diluc to do the kabedon thing on you and move on. we know what you’re like. also how does it feel being so short? i swear every diluc stan is small as hell

jean: YOU GUYS are so sweet pls whenever i play co op with a jean main it’s just like wow you’re so strong and nice and thanks for healing my entire team wow........ however although you’re so responsible you probably enjoy cancelling people on twitter for fun . sorry

venti: VENTI STANS. I LOVE YOU. is it partially because i myself am a huge venti stan? yeah no. you probably missed out on his first banner and are saving for his rerun..... same......... anyways you guys give off the best vibes n it’s always so fun to be with you. i love you all

razor: i have one question for you guys . did you either like warrior cats or were you a wolf kid?

albedo: you guys are so smart wtf !!!!!!!!! you’re so rational in co op mode too and if you have albedo you probably use him as a sub dps for your teammates bc you’re so good at reading situations........ then again you also have some weird shit going on like cmon it’s milk after cereal you psychopaths

sucrose: you either kin sucrose or are creepy sorry . ok but she’s so underrated like her passive 3........ WOAH.............. you definitely use her in spiral abyss,,, also are you a burnout successful kid who used to kiss teachers’ asses and middle school was a breeze before getting to college/university and realising that professors don’t give a shit anymore? wow who would have guessed

diona: wannabe catgirls assemble! please move on from your warrior cats phase you’re almost as bad as the razor stans but you’re adorable too. you probably want qiqi or klee but don’t have them so you’re settling for diona

barbara: thanks for healing my team in co op barbara stans !!!! you guys are genuinely so nice omg thank you for being so reliable all the time,,, do you highlight your notes so it’s more art than notes? yeah that’s what i thought

mona: ok if no one else is gonna say it i will,,, no one understands shit about your astrology thing going on. i’m a caprisun? great

bennett: YOURE ALL ADORABLE. thanks for helping us out in co op!!!! you definitely advocate for bennett rights and yes pls do,,,, we all love benny deep down!!!! you either don’t have him or have him at like C218372

fischl: jojo stans

just kidding but you all probably act like fischl irl. also did you have an emo phase

klee: ok if your favourite is klee you definitely don’t have her . waiting patiently for klee’s rerun!!!! shes just so adorable and so are you guys,,,,, so fun to be around !!!!! you probably have diluc and hate him

noelle: you guys....... the rarest of the rare. you love trying to convince people that she’s a great healer dps n everything else...... no bae you probably use her because you like geo and claymores like hmm yes i will now hit things hard with my big sword and rock power

ok onto liyue now sweats nervously

childe: you guys are ALL simps. ALL OF YOU. go n touch some grass bro!!!!! you either think he’s super sexy or you bully him and make the ed sheeran jokes (not funny) . you follow griffin burns on tiktok too dont you

zhongli: you either love him for his gentle demeanour or you want him for his fat giga dumptruck 3000. make up your minds!!!!! you guys are so clueless in co op mode but you’re hilarious. you probably have his energy recharge at like 200% so you can use his ult and hear I WILL HAVE ORDER every 4 seconds

xiao: STOP GROWLING AT PEOPLE. every xiao main is so aggressive not joking . yeah the only reason you saved for him is because you want to stare at him all day n listen to him growling . you guys genuinely scare me . no he would not hold ur hand and do cute things with you,,,,,, if given half the chance he’d probably decapitate you

ningguang: alright jeff bezos, hand over the cash. yeah so you’re either rolling in it or want to be her sugar baby. but you guys have such an intimidating aura like playing with ning mains is just .... you always build her so well she’s an absolute tank!!!!!! thanks for scaring the shit out of me but also protecting me

beidou: YOU GUYS. you’re fun to be around but i also feel like you could probably destroy me in 3 seconds flat !!!!!!!! do you hate diluc too? i love playing with you guys because all i hear is TO ASHES every 2 seconds and she’s just cool as hell so yeah i really like beidou stans. i feel like you all have her so congrats

qiqi: you’re so cute,,,,, best healer !!!! you probably love playing qiqi because her skills look so cool and you prefer playing heal/support,, if you don’t have her you just love her bc she’s so tiny . spoiler alert but do you have a thing against xiao for killing her lol

xiangling: you’re so chaotic help,, you definitely pair her with xinyan too because you give off the most uncontrollable vibes,,,,,,, did you level her to use her in the spiral abyss or do you just think polearms are neat and don’t have xiao or zhongli

xinyan: please reread xiangling paragraph but replace polearm with claymore . you like either bring me the horizon or bubblegum pop there’s no in between

chongyun: you’re all the nicest people ever and you’re so chill . you love chongyun with your whole hearts and i adore you !!!!!! the animation of him eating the popsicle melts your hearts (no pun intended) and you just think he’s really cool :( ily all

xingqiu: chongyun vibes but make it kinda unnerved . burnout successful kids 2.0 ,,,,, are you clever too? you also love xingqiu and believe he’s worthy of being a 5 star with his heal and damage reduce !!!!! he’s so helpful wtf and so are you . please stop going on about his legs though it’s highkey weird asf

keqing: COOL PERSON SYNDROME! i main this gal so i love you all . do you get as mad as i do when people say she doesn’t deserve to be a 5 star? yeah . are you a procrastinator and try and take lessons from keqing but are just so lazy? do you use her teleport because you can’t be bothered to climb mountains? yeah that’s what i thought

ganyu: you’re all the nicest people alive and i adore you all . thanks for being so kind in co op mode . every ganyu main i’ve met is so sweet and you’re all so powerful too woah....... you hate the cocogoat jokes too >:( pls mihoyo give her more attention !!!!!

scaramouche: you have rights guys we know you exist. also we know you want him to be playable. we know that you think his hat is neat. we know you love this shawty but please be quiet.

signora: wait you guys exist

hu tao: you prank people for fun like pls stop im so on edge when youre around . plus i feel you laugh at videos of babies falling over n shit,,,,,,, you cant wait for her banner but also please shut the fuck up

dainsleif: please leave me the fuck alone we did 1 (one) quest with him and you’re all obsessed with him . ok second hand dmitri from fire emblem you want a medal for being a fucking simp?

#for practical purposes this is a joke #a very loaded joke #so uh pls don’t get mad at me #genshin impact #genshin impact x you #genshin impact memes #kaeya x you #childe x you #zhongli x you #xiao x reader #diluc x you #genshin impact x reader #genshin venti #genshin xiao

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redrobin-detective · 3 years

Note

Where's my anyone + roulette au

“You’re a disgrace to the name of One For All,” A tall, well built woman said with a vicious hiss. “That quirk should have gone to someone Toshi chose, someone he loved, not stolen by some criminal.”

“uh thanks,” Izuku said, squinting his eyes and looking around the nebulous sphere he’d ended up. The last thing he remembered, he’d been hunched over his laptop trying to both nip a potentially ugly server fight in the bud while figuring out where he was getting next week’s budget. He’d been thinking that bank near Edgeshot’s agency had really shoddy security when he’d ended up here.

Wherever here was.

“Come on, Nana,” a giant bald man said appearing out of nowhere to stand next to Izuku. He placed a large hand on top of Izuku’s head which, after months of living with a clingy cryptid, activated his fight or flight reflexes. As always he chose fight and tried to bite the hand which, unfortunately, was incorporeal. The man just laughed at his efforts which only enraged Izuku more. “You gotta admit the kid’s got gumption.”

“Indeed,” said a quiet man with marks over his eye. “He may be a criminal in name but he acts with a righteous heart.”

“No, no, I’m actually a villain,” Izuku said with a raised eyebrow. He was assuming he was in One For All the quirk - which would be both fascinating and terrifying if he didn’t have budgets he should be working on. Also he very much not in the mood to debate the morality of his actions with a bunch of dead heroes who’d apparently been spying on him. Do they ever turn off or were they constantly there like when he’s in the shower or throwing a burnt pan of soup into space.

“He knows my brother,” one said quietly from the back. He was frail and hunched over but familiar in a way. There was a glint of All For One’s calculations in his gaze when he looked up through his stringy hair. “Izuku freed him from his prison, led to his healing but also prevents him from committing even worse atrocities.”

“It’s hilarious you think I can control the monster who decided to move into my apartment and mother hen me,” Izuku deadpanned.

“You have more power over him than you believe,” All For One’s brother said enigmatically. Oh so being cagey was a family trait then. Izuku was very thankful he wasn’t like that at all. “A compromise then,” he said louder to address more of the spooky ghost like figures that had appeared. Eight in total but one was more mist than man; Izuku studiously avoided looking at the All Might figure. “You may be a villain but you are not quite evil. You broke the chain of One For All, stealing it for selfish purposes but I do believe you are uniquely positioned to fulfill it’s ultimate purpose.”

“Would he really kill his-” one asked

“It’s not up to us, our time has passed,” the brother said with a playful smirk, like an uncle about to pull a marvelous prank. Izuku dreaded his next words. “You may have One For All but you also get every other quirk stored within it. And-” his eyes glimmered, “you don’t get a choice on what quirk you’re given on activation.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Izuku argued. “I can’t play Russian Roulette with my quirk every time I use it.”

“This whole situation is ridiculous,” the brother acknowledged. “If you’d have been patient and didn’t feel the need to turn to crime, Toshinori might have given you his quirk willingly. All that’s left is for you to master One For All to it’s fullest potential.”

“By giving me several quirks at random?”

“You’re clever,” he dismissed. “You can handle it. If not, I’m sure my brother has a nice vault waiting for you to keep you safe. Is that acceptable Number Seven?”

“If the brat manages to kill All For One, then I might consider him forgiven,” the woman grumbled. “He’s the Ninth, whether we like it or not. Maybe he can finally take All For One down, take that burden off Toshi’s shoulders.”

“I literally did not ask to be caught up in this crazy prophecy,” Izuku commented, already feeling himself fading from the world.

“Should have thought of that before you stole the quirk.” Izuku woke up in a flash, overbalanced in the chair he’d been sleeping in and crashed to the floor. Maybe if he just laid there for the rest of his life, all of his problems would miraculously resolve.

“Izuku, I heard a crash, are you alright?” All For One said, teleporting into the room and crushing Izuku’s hopes for a moment of peace.

“Your brother’s a jerk,” Izuku mumbled, still face first in the carpet.

“Why do you think I declared war on him and all his successors?” All For One quipped. “He’s also been dead over a century, why do you bring him up?”

Izuku extended his hand to activate his quirk and instead a tendril of black whips sprang out. The villain dodged, was the whips retracted.

“He switched the game to hard mode, randomizer setting. Also he mentioned something about a vault?” All For One made himself conspicuously absent after that leaving Izuku on the floor with a headache and a bunch of quirks he couldn’t control.

“I should’ve gone with Mom,” he concluded with a sigh.

#@ chesh Im so sorry #Anyone fic #roulette izuku au #in my defense Im tired and I haven't written in 6 months #I just wanted Izuku to be tired and arguing with the OFA vestiges #he just wants to Crime in peace and help his server #he literally asked for none of this craziness #even if he brought it on himself #Anonymous

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athena-is-a-chaotic-lil-shit · 3 years

Text

Let the Stars Witness

Okay okay holy— omg I did it! My first request and from an admired writer of mine no less!

From @kim-monsterlings : Hi and welcome!! Really looking forward to seeing your work! ~ If you would, could I request some form of friends to lovers with an orc? (Prompts maybe like, "you deserve better.") Thank you! <3

Since it wasn't specified on what their genders are, I hope your okay with what I went with! And I kinda trailed off from the prompt (or rather it's different but similar)

Anyways you'll know when you read!

•

Pairing: Male Orc (Duruk) x Human Fem!Reader

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: None.

•

"You know, I never thought I would be friends with anyone here, especially with someone other than my, well, species," you tell your companion, your eyes not leaving the cloudless night sky as you lied on your back on the roof of his house. The stars were out tonight.

If you told your younger self that you'd be having great escapades (if running away and getting into a series of trouble fall under that) with an orc, you would most definitely cry your eyes out because you thought were being teased, taking it as a hurtful comment. You were sensitive like that. Part of the reason why no one would even go near you, afraid they might hurt you with a pat on the shoulder or with one word alone. You became the prime target of bullies, finding twisted amusement at your pathetic reactions. A crybaby, they called you. But it wasn't your fault you didn't have much control over your emotions. You were weird, asocial, timid, maybe even depressed. Having a neglectful family didn't help either, it just worsened.

•

The morning you met Duruk was after the orientation. And it was not so good for a first impression.

Long story short, you cried.

But since you're perhaps curious as to what happened exactly, let's elaborate.

You had your headphones on, the melodic sound of gentle rain played in a 3-hour loop and blocked out other noises, your eyes glued to the path you were on. You took long and hurried steps, wishing you could teleport to your classroom and hide in the back, disappear or become invisible.

You were distracted, or should we say, focused on the ground and expecting everyone to step aside and let you through.

Well, except for the one who had his back on you.

You crashed—not an exaggeration— into something- someone massive. You stumbled back and landed on your bum, wincing from the impact. Luckily, your headphones were safe (ah yes, priorities), detaching from your ears and landing on your shoulders. When you looked up to see who it was, you thought your eyes were gonna fall off, grow little legs, and scamper away.

Before you stood an orc, halfway turned to glance at whoever it was that tried to push him, his sharp tusks jutting out from his maw. His brows were furrowed as he looked down on you. Sure, he wasn't as tall as the orcs you've seen around the city and campus but still was over 6 feet, with muscles thicker than your thighs, easily hulking you.

You tried to get out an apology and run as far as you could go, but you just sat there, frozen as you strained your neck to meet his gaze, you couldn't look away. Your heart was trying to claw its way out into the surface.

Then you felt the tears swell up.

They cascaded down your face before you even could stop them.

The orc's eyes widened at your reaction and crouched down to your level in an instant that he almost fell over. His hands hovered, not sure what to do.

"Hey, hey, please don't cry. Please don't—"

"I-I-I'm re..really s-sorry p-please don't hurt m-me..." You managed to choke out pathetically, hiccuping in every word.

"Shhh now hey, it's okay. It was an accident— what? No! Why would I do that?" he replied. The orc peeked over his shoulder and to the sides. "Let's get you to somewhere, uh, less crowded," he added. You turned your head and saw that you had an audience, whispers went around as they sent pitiful and disgusted glances in your direction, only making you cry even more.

He proceeded to unceremoniously lift you into his arms, bridal style, and dashed away. You gripped the front of his shirt and shut your eyes. You were trembling now, scared of what he might do to you. How could you even fight back with your small stature?

It wasn't long until you felt him slow down and placed you carefully on a bench. The orc knelt in front of you, brows scrunched up as he studied your face.

"You okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

You didn't reply, only staring at him through your glassy eyes as you heaved.

You flinched when his hand started rubbing your back, his other hand placed on the side of the bench to balance himself.

He continued to caress your back and murmured soothing words in hopes of calming you down.

Your tears didn't stop falling until moments later when you came down from your initial fear, the warmth of his palm leaving your back once you did. All the while the orc remained where he was, at a loss of what to do next.

You rubbed your sticky face with the collar of your pale and blotchy crimson sweater, sniffing and taking slow, deep breaths before you spoke.

"I... I'm sorry for causing you trouble. E-Even going as far as to take me somewhere quiet. I...appreciate that." You thought you'd pass out with the way people gathered around you, it was suffocating. "Thank you..."

"I panicked," he started, "Sorry—I mean, it's okay, you didn't do anything wrong. I get that a lot of people run away from the sight of me, but you didn't, and just froze there on the ground so..." he shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck.

You shook your head. He was such an imposing figure to many, their first thought was most likely to get away or scream at him.

"You looked angry... When I bumped into you." You slammed into him actually, but he didn't budge an inch. Guess it was one-sided.

"Oh, that? Well, my brother scolds me a lot for having such a grumpy face, scaring humans away. Like he was the one to talk when he's taller and bigger than me! People would faint on the spot when they see him, I bet!"

The image your mind conjured up tore a laugh out of your body, two orcs arguing about how not to terrify people at sight was damn hilarious. When was the last time someone made you laugh like this?

The orc grinned, your reaction a contrast to that of earlier.

You opened your mouth to say something but the ringing of the great bell resounded, cutting you off. The two of you stood up as you realized you were late for your first class of the school year.

"So, uh, what now?" you asked.

"How about we go to our class, then maybe meet up later? Oh, fu— my mother will gut me— I haven't introduced myself!" He blurted out, his voice making you yelp with the sudden outburst.

Clearing his throat, he reached out, "I'm Duruk."

In turn, you gave him your name, taking his hand and smiled. "Hello, Duruk."

•

True to his word, you met again later when lunch came. The cafeteria was packed so you settled on getting the convenience food they offered and eat somewhere quiet.

Your conversation that day spiraled when you found out the two of you had a lot in common. From your favorite rock band to your favorite flavor of ice cream.

You both strongly agreed that vanilla ice cream was superior.

You agreed to meet up during breaks, always having something to chat about.

Eventually, you became inseparable.

He even changed and transferred to your class just so the two of you could be together at the start of the day rather than walk half of the campus to see each other every time.

You became best friends, sharing each moment in school, may it be helping the other stay awake in a boring class, or copying homework when one of you forgot to do it. Soon enough, Duruk started inviting you to his house to hang out. He did mention he had four other siblings, but he lived alone. You came by almost every night and on whole weekends to escape from home, only a few miles in between. No one would notice you gone anyways, but you returned around midnight, not wanting to impose on Duruk no matter what he says, so he walks you back instead.

You basked in each other's company. The odd and scrutinizing glares didn't go unnoticed when you two were together, but you shrugged them all off.

It didn't take long before you started having feelings for the orc, a little wishful thinking that you could be more than friends. You noted lately that his touches would linger seconds longer than usual, hugs and even a hand on your shoulder and back seem to be warmer and —you dare say— affectionate. It weighed heavily on your heart, your simple crush turned into something else, and it only grew with each passing day, and every laugh you shared.

But of course, you swatted those away, buried them deep inside every damn time they climb back up. Who could even love you? Yes, you have Duruk, he likes you, you think. But that's the end of it. Just close buddies. You can't take the risk of ruining your friendship with him and make things awkward with the only one you had! What if he stops talking to you, weirded out by your confession? You don't want to go back to being alone again, your heart can't take the rejection that came with it.

So you endured.

•

A little over five months ever since the embarrassing accident, here you are now, stargazing with your best friend.

"Well, good thing you didn't watch where you were going that time then," he says, chuckling beside you. His hands cushioned his head against the hard surface. "I wouldn't have..." he trails off.

"Hm, what?" you ask. Duruk went silent and didn't answer you for a time. You were about to let it slide but then he breathes in audibly.

"I wouldn't have met an angel if you did. Should've caught you in my arms, but sadly I didn't move fast enough." He replies, his voice deep and mellow.

You straighten up and turn to face him, your brows shot up, incredulous to what he just implied.

"W-Wait. What?" you squeak, your heart thumping hard in your chest, your skin warming up even in the chilled night air.

Is he—

"You're so cute, y'know that? Fuck it, it's all or nothing," he whispers under his breath as he sits up to face you. His expression was unreadable, but you see in his mahogany eyes a familiar glint of determination. "I'm not good with long-ass speeches so I'll make this short," he breathes in before he continues, "I feel something for you, for a while now, more than a best friend does, like...in a romantic sense. I want to cherish you and hold you in my arms every time I see you, I- ah fuck- damn it I just—" he growls, "I love you, so much and if you don't love me back then please re—"

You shut him off with your lips against his, Duruk's tusks pressing against your cheeks as you held his face in your hands. He was stunned for two solid seconds before returning the kiss, his arms snaking around your waist and pulling you close and into his lap.

You feel something wet roll down your hand and you immediately jerked back to see his face. The orc was crying.

Did you do it wrong? Were you so terrible at it—

"I don't deserve you... A monster like me doesn't deserve an angel like you."

Where was this coming from??

"Say that again, I dare you."

"I don't de—"

This idiot!

You pecked his lips to cut him off.

"You big dummy," you begin, "I love you too, idiot. You may be a monster but not what everyone else defines you as. I love you as you are. You're my best friend, and dare I say my l-lover now. Is that right...?"

Duruk gives you a small, gentle smile, "If you'll have me, then yes, for as long as you want me to be." He says, sniffling a sob as a couple more tears tumbled down his rugged face.

You never thought you'd see him like this. He was the one who kept making you laugh with his stories and terrible jokes. Before you, in your hands was someone vulnerable, his eyes soft and fond as he gazed into yours.

It made your heart pound and it hurt.

You leaned in and he met you halfway, kissing once again, deeper and more intimate this time. Real. You brought your arms around his neck, your tears spilling out and he tightened his grip around you. It felt like a dream, too good to be true, but the way he hugged you like you were the only thing that anchored him in this world made you believe it wasn't. All of this was real and you couldn't be anymore happier.

From above, the glittering stars, the light gentle as they shone, bear witness to two freed hearts, bottled up feelings gushing out like a broken dam as you embraced one another and lost yourselves in the moment of bliss, cheeks stained and clothes lightly damp from the tiny rivulets of liquid that dropped down.

It's a lovely night, isn't it?

#athenawrites #my writing #exophilia #monster lover #orc lover #orc x human #monster boyfriend #orc boyfriend #orc x reader #monster x human #requests #fiction #terato #romance #monster romance #orc

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frombeyondtheblackhole · 3 years

Text

Hermit DSMP Swap AU: Part 4

... Skeppies- not in his house... he was in his mansion. Now he is in a mine. That’s not normal, or shouldn't be normal. Who knows what’s normal really. “I reject normal,” He muttered to himself before turning and yelling down the mineshaft “Baaaaaad... Very funny Bad!” He started back down the mine shaft, Bad had to be hiding around a corner up here somewhere. “How did you do it?... Bad?” No response “Bad! Stop hiding already, I know you’re there.”

Wait, what was this. Skeppy stopped and squinted at the mineshaft walls. He’s a literal diamond, Skeppy knows a thing or two about rocks, and this was a rock he had never seen before. The whole wall was made up of large patches of this dark scaly stone. He knocked his knuckles against it, his diamond skin barely scratching it. “What the hell?” He said and was disappointed when Bad didn't interrupt with his typical ‘language.’ This gave him an idea. He cursed louder. Still silence. Skeppy frowned. Maybe Bad really wasn’t there.

“Well, I'm leaving now. Last chance.” Still nothing. There was a sinking feeling in Skeppy’s chest. Bad wasn’t there. If this wasn’t a prank then what was this. Skeppy hurried down the mineshaft wasting no time in finding the ladder and climbing out into the sunlight. He exited the little house at the top only glancing back down the mine shaft once through the glass floor. He came out on the edge of a bay, mountains and trees behind him. There was some dirt scaffolding laid out in a massive square across the water, and a nether portal and some chests could be seen on a tiny island in the distance.

He blinked at it for a minute and then Skeppy did what he always did when he didn’t know what to do. He started yelling.

“Hey yooo! Anyone, there!? Anyone out there?! Hellooooo, I’m talking to you!?” His voice echoed back to him and the water lapped softly against the beach. Skeppy scowled “Well, if you don’t want to be friendly then I’ll just leave. How about that? You hear me? I’m leaving, never returning. Not coming back.” He shouted for the benefit of any hypothetical hiding onlookers as he marched into the forest and started climbing the hill.

The forest quickly thinned and the hill became more of a cliff, and soon he was climbing over rocky boulders and through flat patches of blue-green grass with the occasional grazing sheep. He came over the next hill and stopped short. The mountain dropped off in front of him and in the plain below looked to be some kind of a village. He squinted; a collective of houses built around what looked to be some kind of pole.

He heard a bleating sound behind him and turned just as something white with horns rammed into him, knocking him off the cliff and sending him tumbling down the rocky slope, head over heels, till he slid to a stop at the bottom. He looked up at the blue sky and groaned. If he wasn’t a literal rock, he would have been covered in bruises. As it was he still felt like shit.

“Well look at what the goat dropped in.” Someone laughed. Skeppy tilted his head back to look behind him, everything upside down. A man in a red sweater cast his shadow over him.

He smiled and the corners of his eyes creased, his shadow growing as a pair of wings spread slightly behind him “Hey there, you seem new, welcome to Boatem town.”

“Uuuuu... hey there?”

“You just gonna to lie there, buddy?” He laughed again, reaching out a hand.

Skeppy blinked and shook his head rolling over and taking the offered hand as the man helped him up.

“By the way, I’m Grian, whatcha doing out here?”

“Skeppy, and I, with my excellent sense of direction, was exploring and definitely not lost in any way. I know exactly where I am. And I’m definitely not the victim of some unnamed prankster” He said, starting to walk towards the village and looking around. They were behind a big mossy house.

“Oooh, a prank you say, I’ve got to hear this.” Grian said, following. They walked around the house into the village center, a tower of boats hovered in the middle over an ominous pit.

“Naaah it’s boring really,” Skeppy waved his hand dismissively as he stopped near the edge of the Boatem hole and peered over. It went all the way down to bedrock, like L��manburg. “Huh... interesting...”

“Ah, yes. That is the Boatem hole, we're planning on opening it up to the void at some point.” Grian explained.

“The void? Wait, you can do that? That sounds awesome. Imagine the pranks you could pull with that” Skeppy said his curiosity getting the better of his caution.

“I know right, Scar’s already fallen down there several times,”

“Hey Grian, who’s your friend there?” A man with in a maroon coat and a tinny hat said coming over. When he came closer Skeppy noticed a long scar running diagonally across his nose and face.

“Hey Scar! Speak of the devil,” Grian called out to the aptly named man. “This is Skeppy, he’s absolutely not lost.” Grian quipped, smiling, his voice full of sarcasm.

“You’re lost you say,” Scar said his voice full of all the honey of a car salesman. Skeppy would know, he used the same honeyed tone when trying to talk Bad or Techno into something that probably wasn’t going to end all that well for them but would be absolutely hilarious to watch.

“Not lost,” Skeppy quickly corrected.

“Well even those who aren’t lost are trying to get somewhere. I’m sure you wouldn’t object to us sharing a shortcut or too.”

This man was good. Skeppy didn’t want to look too desperate though. Just add a bit of hesitation sprinkled with some skepticism, that should do it “Well... I suppose a shortcut sounds like a good idea. I am heading for the Badlands, know a faster way to get there?”

Skeppy was met with vacant looks, the car salesman gone. “Actually I have no idea where that is,” Scar shrugged sheepishly “How about you Grian,”

Grian shook his head “Nope... now that I think about it, how did you get on the server anyway,”

“Um... I... I think, I think I just spawned... It’s hard to remember honestly, it’s been so long.” Skeppy frowned at the strange question.

Grian and Scare glanced at each other in shock. New players weren't born, they were spawned, but it was very rare for players to spawn for the first time in a community server. Usually they spawned in a private server and then moved into a community when they found one that worked for them.

“Oh!” Skeppies eyes went wide with realization then horror. If a diamond could blanch, Skeppy was the closest thing to that. “...This isn’t the Dream SMP, is it?”

“Oh dear...” Grian Muttered, “That’s not good.”

---

TFC had been mining. Now he was standing in the middle of a quartz building. That wasn’t normal. His connection to the server had always been a bit glitchy. Maybe this was just another instance of server glitch. He had been frozen in place for days, lagged out, and even defended. Teleportation could just be added to that list. And it wasn’t all that bad, it’s not like it dumped him in the middle of the ocean or lava. As it was, it seemed like he was in someone's starter base.

He walked down the stairs and out the glass front doors. There were pools of water to either side of a walkway and the yard was cluttered with large colorful statues. A muffin, a duck. Goodness the hermits were already at it with the pranks this season.

He walked around the statues and came to the front gate of the grounds. A long wooden path lead off in one direction, and wrapped around behind the mansion in the other. A large red multi story building loomed in the distance. The hermits really had gotten busy.

It was always nice to see what other people were making but he needed to get back to his mine. He took the path following it around the back of the mansion. The path dropped off suddenly. He jumped down and landed with a grunt before taking some bread out of his pocket and munching on it as he rounded the corner of the quartz building's foundation.

He faltered as his eyes fell on a massive blackstone building looming out of the sea, two imposing lava infused towers book ending the walls at either side... And he had thought the Red build had been big for early game. This was definitely too big for early game... even by hermit standards.

He slowly walked closer. Beyond the Quartz house was mostly just an open field until it reached the water. As he got closer he noticed his pickaxe suddenly become unnaturally heavy. It felt strangely like Mining Fatigue. What would a Guardian be doing out here? He returned his pick to his inventory. TFC had seen a lot of things in his time, and this thing felt off.

“Pst..”

TFC jumped and looked around for the source of the noise.

“Over here,”

Now he noticed the footprints in the ground and a floating potion bottle. That sounded like Etho.

“Etho?” TFC queried.

“Yeah, it’s me. Here drink this, I can explain later,” Etho said, shoving the potion into TFC’s work calloused hands.

TFC looked down at the bottle of bubbling silver liquid for a moment before uncorking it and downing the liquid. He trusted the young man with his life.

---

Sam started up from his chair in the dark room where he had been flipping through the prison's security camera feeds, lit only by the glow of the computer screens. He expanded the outside front camera feed to full screen and rewound the feed. A strange old man he had never seen before slowly approached the beach by the prison then just disappeared. Who the hell was that and why did he take an invis potion.

Sam scowled. “Not on my watch,” he muttered, summoning his trident from his inventory and marching for the exit.

#dsmp #dream smp #hermitcraft #dsmp au #dream smp au #hermitcraft au #hermitcraft dsmp swap au #skeppy #grian #good times with scar #tfc #etho #awsamdude #warden sam

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writingfeatherduster · 3 years

Note

Hmm a sansby prompt? If you want something slightly more angst filled, maybe have Grillby be the knight in shining armor after someone won’t take no for an answer from Sans? Or maybe just some cute fluff, like cuddling while watching a movie :3

As I like to say in these situations- why not both?

Keep You Safe

Word count: 2667 Summary: When someone won’t take no for an answer, Grillby steps in. Warnings: Sexual assault SERIOUSLY, MIND THE WARNINGS

Sans always hated it when there weren’t any available seats at the bar. It was great that Grillby’s was getting good business these days, but it also meant he’d have to wait a bit to talk to his favorite fire monster, and he couldn’t even watch him while he worked very well. The skeleton caught Grillby’s eye as he came in and gave him a little wave and a wink before making his way towards one of the booths closest to the bar. Grillby gave him a nod and got back to mixing the line of drinks he was working on. Sans couldn’t help but notice that Grillby looked nervous. The skeleton frowned a bit and kept a careful eye on him, praying that a stool at the bar would open up soon so he could help. He was watching the bartender so intently that he barely noticed when another monster came and sat next to him in the booth.

“Well hi there,” the monster said with a toothy grin. Like, really toothy. Because she was a shark monster. She was probably wearing more makeup than clothes, and the look she gave Sans was positively predatory. The skeleton could already see where this was going.

“Lemme stop you right there.” Sans scooted sideways in the booth, putting a bit more distance between himself and the stranger. God, this lady reeked of perfume. “I appreciate it, but I’m not really looking for any’body’ to hand out with right now, heh.”

Sans knew he was hilarious, but he still thought she laughed too hard at that. Instead of backing off, she inched closer to him. “C’mon, cutie, don’t be that way! Besides, you didn’t need to look. I found you first~!”

“Unfortunately,” Sans grumbled. He moved over again, finding his shoulder against the wall. “Really, lady, not interested tonight.”

“You know, you’re really hot, for a guy with no skin.” The shark monster moved in closer, turning towards Sans and putting one hand on the wall next to his head. “Don’t be so cold. Why don’t you let me buy you a drink?”

With the shark monster leaning over him, it occurred to Sans just how bad this was. He’d teleport out, but he couldn’t focus on a location with this monster’s damn perfume giving him a headache. He was well and truly trapped, hidden by unsuspecting crowds of monsters and a secluded booth. “Answer’s no,” he tried, “Back off.”

She laughed at him again, suddenly slipping a hand under Sans’s shirt. He slapped it away, but she just grabbed his wrist and pinned it to the table, moving in again to rub his ribcage. “You really are just bones and magic, aren’t you? There are so many places I could get inside you, hehe~. Come on skeleton, let me show you some real fun~.”

Sans froze as her hand started to wander downward. This couldn’t be happening. Fuck, no, fuck fuck fuck fuck-

WHOOSH! BANG!

The monster over Sans went still as the bar went silent, eyes wide. There was a dark char mark on the wall above the booth’s table. A few inches to the left, and it would have hit her square in the back. She withdrew her hand and looked behind her, eyes widening further as she paled.

Grillby was standing in front of the booth, and he looked pissed. His fire was burning higher and hotter than Sans had ever seen, the heat radiating off him as his entire body crackled. The glare he fixed the shark monster was murderous, and to make things more frightening, he’d summoned an arc of fireballs over his head, ready for a fight. “Get. Your hands. Off him,” he snarled darkly. His usually warm voice had taken on a dark, steely edge that Sans had never heard from him before. In that moment, the skeleton was fully convinced that Grillby was capable of killing.

The shark monster was quick to comply, scrambling away from Sans and stumbling over themselves as they hastily stood from the booth. “Right! I’ll- um- I’ll be g-going the- ah!”

Grillby grabbed her by her neck, dragging her forward. The shark monster cried out as her moist skin steamed, drying out and threatening to blister. The fire monster paid that no mind. “Oh? And where do you think you’re going?” he asked threateningly. “We’re not done here. I think you and I need to have a little c h a t.” He raised his hand, the fireballs moving in closer. The monster whimpered at their heat, struggling as the grip on her neck tightened.

Ding! You’re blue now!

The shark monster was suddenly pulled down, out of Grillby’s grasp. As soon as she was free, she made a break for the door, terrified. The bartender moved like he was going to pursue her, but a wall of blue bones appeared in front of him, making him stop. Grillby stepped back, glancing towards the booth.

Sans had his hand up, both pupils gone and shaken. “H-hey, Grillbz? Why don’t we just calm down a sec? I’m okay, see? Nothin’ happened, s’all good.”

The fire monster paused, looking back at the door. After a moment, his gaze dropped and the fireballs he summoned disappeared in wisps of smoke. His hands were shaking. He turned back to the booth and walked towards Sans.

“Did she hurt you?” Grillby mumbled, hesitating by the table. All at once, the calm, caring Grillby that Sans knew had come back, eyes full of fearful concern. “I’m so sorry, Sans, I-i didn’t see her come in. I should’ve been keeping a better eye out, I know this booth can be secluded and-”

Sans’s pupils slowly lit up again as he relaxed. “Nah, Grillbz, I’m fine,” he reassured. He let out a shaky sigh as he finally relaxed. “Not gonna lie, that was pretty intense. Never thought I’d ever get to see you so ‘fired’ u- whoa!”

Grillby suddenly pulled Sans out of his seat, wrapping his arms around him and burying his face in Sans’s hoodie. The monster was shaking all over. He was angry, but when he’d seen Sans cornered, he’d been so scared. The skeleton had insisted he wasn’t hurt, but Grillby found himself summoning small flames of green magic anyway, letting them dance over Sans as they checked for any injury.

Sans huffed fondly, the last of the tension leaving his bones as he returned the embrace. Grillby’s natural scent of smoke was much better than sickeningly sweet perfume. “I’m okay, Grillby, I promise. Maybe we should go somewhere quiet to chill for a sec?”

“Agreed,” Grillby mumbled into his jacket. He pulled back slightly, then suddenly picked Sans up.

Sans squeaked, then laughed. “I can walk, y’know.”

“I know,” was all Grillby said as he carried Sans back into the kitchen, bringing him to the small table in the back corner. Instead of setting him down, Grillby sat in one of the chairs and kept Sans in his lap, never releasing him from that warm, protective embrace. Safe and secluded, he let his guard down a bit, one hand coming up to cup Sans’s cheekbones. “I’m sorry. That- that was unlike me. I just…”

“Hey, I get it.” Sans brought his hand up to cover Grillby’s. “You don’t need to be apologizing. I should be thanking you. If you hadn’t come over she probably would’ve… she…” The full reality of what had nearly happened started to sink in and Sans started trembling. “She probably would’ve… fuck, what the fuck…” Tears started to fill Sans’s eyes as the last of the adrenaline drained from him. “Holy shit, I almost got raped. I almost got raped. What the fuck?”

Grillby pulled Sans close again, rubbing his back soothingly as the skeleton gripped his shirt. “I’ve got you, breathe,” he mumbled gently. There was the breakdown he’d been anticipating. “It’s okay if you need to cry, I’ve got you. We’re alone. You’re safe now.”

That was exactly what Sans needed to hear. He sobbed quietly into Grillby’s shirt, trembling as he tried to process what exactly just happened. What nearly happened. What could have happened, if Grillby hadn’t swooped in and put the fear of whatever God might be out there into that scummy pervert. He slowly became aware that Grillby was humming, the low vibrations soothing in Sans’s skull. The skeleton sniffled and wiped at his eyes. Deep breaths. He was safe. Deep breaths.

“I’m going to close early,” Grillby mumbled gently. “Will you be alright if I leave you here a moment?”

Sans nodded. “Yeah, I-i think I’m good. I’m just gonna go home.”

“No.” Grillby pulled away, meeting Sans’s eyes. “You are in no condition to be using your shortcuts, and I’m not going to let you walk in case that- ...in case it isn’t safe, this time of night. Go ahead and text Papyrus. You’re going to be staying with me this evening. I-if that’s alright,” he amended quickly. The last thing he wanted to do to Sans was force him into something, especially after what had transpired that evening.

Sans didn’t feel forced at all, though. He gave Grillby a weak smile. “That… that sounds nice. Yeah. I wouldn’t mind that. You go close up, I’ll text Papyrus.”

Relief filled the bartender and he stood, careful not to drop Sans as he transferred the skeleton to the chair. “I’ll be right back,” he assured as he straightened up. With that, he walked back out to his restaurant to herd customers out.

Sans had never seen the inside of Grillby’s apartment before. He knew the bartender lived in an apartment above the restaurant, and that the stairs lead directly into the kitchen, but that was about it. It was a little smaller than Sans had anticipated. Most of the space was taken up by the living room, with a cozy-looking couch piled with pillows and a bookshelf that looked ready to collapse under the sheer number of books that had been stacked on it. A small kitchenette was tucked into the corner of the apartment, and it looked like there was only one bedroom and a bathroom down the short hallway. It took Sans no time at all to make himself comfortable on the couch, kicking off his pink slippers and nesting into the cushy throw pillows.

Grillby gave the skeleton a fond smile, taking the comforter off the back of the couch and draping it over Sans’s shoulders. “Would you like me to turn on the television? I don’t have much in the way of movies, but my niece brought me a copy of a human show that I find to be fairly interesting. I mostly watch for the music.”

“Heh, so long as there are jokes in it, I’m down,” Sans replied with a shrug. He would probably fall asleep part of the way through it, but some background noise wouldn’t hurt.

Grillby kneeled next to the television and pulled out a small booklet, flipping through it to find the first disk. “Here we are,” he mumbled to himself as he found the one he wanted, getting everything set up before taking the remote and sitting on the opposite end of the couch. The disk loaded and a colorful title lit up the screen.

Sans tilted his head, mildly interested. “‘Steven Universe’, huh? No offense, but I never pegged you as a guy that’d be into cartoons.”

“It’s an occasional indulgence,” Grillby mumbled with a shrug. Was he blushing?

Sans snickered. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Grillbz. If you like it then it must be a good show. Let’s see what it’s about.”

Grillby smiled a bit, then hit play, relaxing back into the pillows. “I think you’ll like this one. Humans have such interesting concepts of magic…”

Four episodes later, Sans was hooked, watching the screen intently. He had to get himself one of those novelty backpacks. As he watched the protagonists fight evil breakfast foods, he turned to tell Grillby a joke, only to find himself meeting the bartender’s eyes. Grillby blushed and quickly looked back at the screen, but it was too late. He was caught staring.

Sans just chuckled. “Uh, can I help you with somethin’?”

“Sorry,” Grillby huffed, adjusting his glasses. At some point he’d undone his tie, letting it hang loose around his neck. He’d slipped off his shoes and pulled his knees up, hugging a pillow as he sat curled up on the couch. There was something about seeing Grillby this way that made Sans’s soul feel light. It just felt so… domestic, sitting there and watching one of the bartender’s favorite shows together. Grillby cleared his throat, breaking Sans from his thoughts as he continued. “I’m… still worried about you. Are you certain you’re alright?”

“Yeah,” Sans replied automatically, but that didn’t seem to reassure the fire monster at all.

“Sans,” Grillby sighed, reaching for the remote and pausing the show, “Please, be honest with me. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Sans took a deep breath and thought about it. After a long moment, he finally answered. “Okay, maybe not,” Sans admitted, “But I’m doing better. This,” he said as he gestured around himself, “Is helping. Like, a lot. I think this is exactly what I needed.”

Grillby nodded a bit, satisfied. “Well, is there anything more I can do for you?”

“I’m good.” Sans shrugged a bit, then took another look at Grillby. The bartender was great at reading Sans, but sometimes he forgot how good Sans had gotten at reading him in return. Grillby was tense, shoulders hitched up slightly as he hugged the pillow like it was going to run away. “Is there something I can do for you?” Sans asked, voice gentling as he did. “That scared the soul out of you, too, didn’t it?”

Grillby looked away again, feeling guilty. “I’m not the one that got harassed, Sans.”

“Nah, just the one who watched his best friend get sexually assaulted,” Sans pointed out. “We were both ‘rattled’, heh. Lemme help you out, too. Somethin’ I can do for ya?”

“Well,” Grillby mumbled, “Can I… is it alright if I hold you again?”

That hadn’t been what Sans was expecting, but he was more than up for it. “Sure. You’re gonna have to let that pillow breathe first, though.”

Grillby chuckled and let the pillow drop to the floor, lowering his knees and shifting so he was reclining at an angle before opening his arms to Sans. Sans crawled over and settled himself in the bartender’s lap, arms wrapped around his torso and head resting on his chest. Grillby pressed play on the remote, starting the show again before letting his arms fall gently over Sans’s back as he held him close. Sans felt the warmth envelope him and sighed, content. “Hey, Grillbz?”

“Hm?” Grillby looked down at him with a tilt of his head. Sans’s soul melted a bit under the gently, caring gaze. God, this monster was going to be the death of him.

“Thank you,” Sans mumbled.

Grillby gave him a small smile, bringing one hand up to briefly cup the back of Sans’s skull. “You’re welcome. So long as I’m here, I’m going to keep you safe. You mean the world to me, Sans.”

And oh, if that didn’t make Sans feel like the luckiest monster alive.

They settled into a comfortable silence, watching the cartoon play on. As the night wore on, Sans found himself starting to doze in Grillby’s arms, yawning as he fought to keep his eye sockets open. “Hey, Grillbz?” he mumbled, “Maybe we should…” He trailed off as he looked up, smiling. Grillby’s head rested against the back of the couch, the fire monster fast asleep. Sans levitated the remote to himself, determined not to wake Grillby as he turned the TV off before cuddling closer and closing his eyes. Who needed beds, anyway?

Grillby was the warmest pillow he could ask for.

I hope you enjoyed this one! If you did like it, why not reblog/leave a comment to let me know your favorite part? As always, thank you for reading!

#dustyfic #undertale #sans #grillby #sans x grillby #undertale sans #undertale grillby #sansby #undertale fic #undertale fanfiction #tw assault

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deaththesyd · 3 years

Text

To The Brink Of Confession: Chapter 1, "He's not ugly"

I'd like to blame @mytanuki-kun for one of their works inspiring this side project that is now in the way of my Kisame week progress. As frustrating as this is, I'm having fun with this one and I'm excited to write my first true multi-chapter fic, even if it doesn't fit with the rest of my works and their timeline.

Summary: At first, she had shrugged it off as him simply being worn out from all the social interaction, but if that was the case, why was he only avoiding her?

At first, she had let it slide. Being super friendly and interacting with people was draining after all, and being forced to live in close quarters with such a loud group was sure to take its toll on even the most extroverted people. His avoidance lasted the entire rest of his time spent in her world, but she didn’t worry. As usual, a month passed by before she herself was teleported away into the foreign world of Jutsu, violence, and ninja. She even shook off her doubts when instead of her usual escorts, she was picked up by Kakuzu and Hidan, being told that the others were all preoccupied with important missions, ones that she would only be a distraction from. Entertaining as she found the duo and their antics, she couldn’t exactly hide her disappointment from the silver-haired loudmouth she had grown to consider a friend.

“What’s with all the moping, huh?” He said loudly, stood in front of her, face lowered to look her directly in the eyes as she had been watching the ground as she walked. Blocking her path forward, she stopped to look up at him, forcing herself to push down her thoughts and play them off as nothing. Surprising as it may be, Hidan wasn’t entirely self-absorbed and happened to be pretty talented at sensing other's emotions, a skill that he very rarely made use of. Not that it was really all that hard to see that something was up with her. Always easy to read, an open book, she was the worst liar and easily the most sincere person he had met. He seriously couldn’t stand her mood lately, it was worried and upsetting. Mixed with Kakuzu’s ongoing anger at everything and everyone, the irritating emotions were mixing and giving Hidan a headache. There were only two ways he could think of to fix this, either piss off Kakuzu to relieve his built-up stress and risk an explosive and painful response, or play concerned friend and get the woman lagging behind them to return to her normal upbeat self. Contemplating both options, the least painful option seemed the best bet.

“It’s not nothing, I can tell, so don’t bother lying, you’re shit at it anyway,” he cut her off as she tried to reply.

She tried anyway. “Really though,” she said, smiling almost convincingly, “I’m just lost in thought, we’ve been walking all day, can you blame me for tuning out?” Waving him off, she sidestepped him to follow after Kakuzu, who had not stopped for them and was quickly leaving them behind.

Knowing that the likelihood of being separated from Kakuzu was high if they didn’t keep up with the old man, he didn’t hold her back but stayed by her side to press for a proper response. “I said not to fucking lie,” he spoke casually knowing that anything truly harsh would only shut her up further, “you’ve been like this ever since you got here, it’s not just you being tired of walking.”

Sighing, she replied, “Ok, you’re right that I’m not just tired, but it’s nothing, really. I just need to manage it by myself.” No longer lying was a step forward, but she kept her lips tight on whatever it was. She was stubborn, but Hidan was persistent.

“What’s with you being all shy all of a sudden? You’re always so fucking talkative no one but Fishface can get you to be quiet,” he complained, almost missing how she reacted at the mention of the tall swordsmen. He grinned, seemed like he had a hook. “Awe, is this about your little crush on the big guy? Did you ask him out and he chickened out?” He laughed cruelly.

It wasn’t much of a secret that she had feelings for Kisame, she wasn’t very good at hiding how he caught her eye, often spacing out while watching him train, and making any excuse to get his attention. Everyone at some point had noticed the flush to her face around him, or the fond look in her eyes as she looked up at him. To most, it wasn’t anything to focus on. Kakuzu and Sasori couldn’t care less about it, as long as she wasn’t being obnoxious, Itachi seemed to keep a careful watch over her and her interactions with his partner, his reasons were unknown to Hidan who couldn’t care less about the Uchiha. Deidara and Hidan made sure to poke fun and tease her at any opportunity, making sure to keep their taunts from the man of her affections, trying to draw out their entertainment as long as they could. After months of this, she had become accustomed to the mostly friendly jeering from the two and had begun to poke fun at herself as well. It seemed she had resigned herself to watching from afar and keeping her flirting to a level that was easily mistaken for friendly conversation by the oblivious man.

Years of being acquainted with Kisame had only given Hidan a surface-level knowledge of the man, but recently he had noticed just how unconfident truly was of his looks, something he of course zeroed in on immediately. 6 foot whatever and hulking over even Kakuzu, it was hilarious to him that the member of the legendary Swordsmen of the Mist was both self-conscious over his fishy appearance, and his years of training as a ninja had not taught him to notice the obvious signs that a woman was into him. How anyone could be so unaware, yet so skilled was beyond him.

Her face saddened at his words, her brow furrowing, and her eyes cast themselves to the ground again. “I haven’t said anything, but I think he might have caught on,” she said quietly.

Despite her clearly upset confession, he grinned. “Way to go! Fishface finally figured out how to see above water, wondered if his brain was just waterlogged,” he snickered, excited that he could finally openly pick on him over the subject, but she didn’t smile and remind him to be nice like she normally did when he made digs at the sharkman. Clearly not a good sign then.

“I think he’s avoiding me,” she said, looking defeatedly at her shuffling feet. Now that made no sense.

Not long after it was clear to everyone but Kisame that she had an attraction to the tall man, it became more and more obvious that it was reciprocated. As much as she stared at him, he stared at her. Less openly, probably why it had taken everyone a while longer to see it, but it was well known that the two were complete idiots that had no clue the other was just as interested as they were. Part of Hidan had wanted to tell them immediately, embarrass them and make a scene out of it all, but another part of him had held onto their frustrations and fed off of it as a much more drawn-out entertainment source. Deidara was in on it too, saying that as much as he wanted to set off an explosive show by forcing their feelings out into the open, he also wanted there to be a build-up. In the meantime, they got to tease their fishy accomplice as much as they could get away with without pissing him off and alerting the other half of the pining duo. The fact that Kisame was avoiding her after finding out she felt the same was not what anyone had expected. For once in his life, Hidan was pissed at the drama of it. He would not admit that he was actually looking forward to the two becoming a couple.

“Bet he’s just scared that someone thinks his ugly mug is hot and is worried for your sanity,” he laughed. Her hand smacked him halfheartedly.

“He’s not ugly.” She said sternly, “Although with how forward I’ve been, he may have been creeped out,” she smiled, but there was a twinge of pain on her face that Hidan couldn’t help but notice. It pissed him off, his whole religion was about inflicting pain and death for his God, but seeing her genuinely upset gave him a feeling of frustration on her behalf.

“There’s no way he’s creeped out by your creepy staring,” he found himself attempting to reassure her, feeling as though he was betraying his and Deidara’s whole scheme. “He’s clearly just as much a creepy stalker as you are.”

Unsure that she had heard him correctly, she looked up to see Hidan avoiding eye contact, looking off the side of the road, ignoring her reaction purposely. “I don’t see how he’s the stalker,” she laughed humorlessly, “When he’s the one avoiding me.”

“Of course you don’t, you’re just as fucking blind as he is,” he muttered. Her sudden giggle made him look at her in suspicion. “The hell’s so funny?”

She brought a hand to try and stifle her laughter before she spoke, “What’s got you all grumpy now? Upset someones not crushing back on you?” She teased, eyes darting to look at the silent man trudging forward ahead of them, then back at Hidan.

The glare he shot her only made her giggles slightly louder. “What the fuck are you gettin’ at?” He spat, daring her to continue.

Humming whimsically, she spoke, “I just think that maybe you’re projecting some of your own frustrations onto someone else.”

He should have chosen to piss off Kakuzu. She may have been the lesser of two evils at a first glance, but the ability she had to force him into subjects he would rather avoid was something he had forgotten to account for in his earlier decision. Unlike the completely requited yet oblivious relationship between her and Kisame, Hidan’s own feelings were something he tried to ignore whenever possible. It was just a shitty joke she had made, something about how Hidan should leave her alone since he was really just trying to make the old man jealous. Something he should have shaken off with a normal insult towards the old miser, yet he had frozen, caught off guard by the accuracy. That was the one and only time he had ever allowed himself to come out to someone and let them live. It was shameful in the church to have feelings of devotion for anyone but Jashin, yet wanting someone that couldn’t produce more followers was even more so. Adamantly, he refused his feelings towards the man, but since that day she had treated his explicit flirting as nothing more than a show.

Embarrassed as he was, his comeback held no bite, and her teasing and further avoidance of the earlier topic increased. Eventually, it turned into a loud argument that reached Kakuzu’s ears, who ended their annoying discussion by threatening them both. She was easier to scare, but whatever they had been squabbling about had made Hidan more feisty than normal.

“Fuck off you old dick! There’s plenty of politer ways to ask to be included in a conversation,” came the danger prodding taunt from the young man. It was hard to guess why, but the older man’s fuse was shorter than usual, and the woman yelped as a dark arm split off from the man's torso to grab the face of the loudmouthed man right beside her. Flailing wildly and ineffectively he was dragged along the ground, yanked by the harsh grip of the intolerant man. Green eyes surrounded by red sclera flashed at her, warning her she would be next if she didn’t follow quietly. Swallowing a lump in her throat, she did just that.

#hidan #kakuzu #kisame #kisame x reader #mild swearing #upset that im writing this instead of kisame prompts #I wrote this just to clear my head and now im writing a multichapter fic wtf #Changed the title cause I hated it

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datawyrms · 3 years

Text

Happy DannyMay everyone! i say while dropping this. For day one, Memories. sorta kinda sequel to this Half a Decade Late

He said he’d never hate them. Back when he thought it would only be a matter of time until he found a weakness, a flaw and squirmed free. He always had before. He didn’t like being captured, and he certainly didn’t like getting shoved into cages, but it was always temporary. A terrifying inconvenience. Something he’d shrug off eventually and forget. Lately he was starting to realize he’d forget that he ever considered thinking charitably. Just like all the other things he couldn’t quite remember.

They took everything. His freedom, his limbs, his skin, his voice. So many things he had the misfortune of learning he could recover from with enough time. Really broke the idea that anything about you was special. Did it matter that they ripped him open when the green slime he was made of would eventually cover the hole without even a sign of the pain it caused him? He just stopped caring. Ghosts didn’t feel pain. Maybe if he believed that enough, he wouldn’t need to feel it. Hurt was just a matter of perspective.

He was changing, apparently. The spectral copies of his human organs they stole over and over again stopped being perfect copies. Sloppy. Apparently his body was forgetting what the real ones were like. He didn’t remember the last time he’d been human anyway. That was fine. It was the only real way he could bother them now, being ‘less useful’. Obviously he didn’t need them that badly. He envied some of his fellow prisoners. They were just green inside. Nothing the vultures wanted, nothing for them to mutter and prod at while he struggled uselessly.

He didn’t really know why he still bothered to do that. It never worked. Some impulse. Just better than keeping still. He never really was a human, was he? Humans didn’t treat other humans like this. So he wasn’t one. So why did he ever think he was?

Tie was weird. Maybe having a soul made you act all funny. He’d been tempted to change her name, to no-mask or just face, but the words didn’t feel right, sort of caught on his tongue. Even when he didn’t have one sometimes! Tie just slid off easily. Like he’d said it a lot, or something like it.

So the newbie remained Tie. And Tie was weird. A good kind of weird? She didn’t just tell him to shut up, anyway. Most of them were boring like that. Though not getting shocked into unconsciousness did make the days tend to drag a bit more. She did make his head hurt sometimes, with all the weird reactions Tie made. It always passed though.

He kept playing with the lights up there so they would flicker and crackle, just to check if it was a Tie day. Sure, that got a good amount of shocks when it wasn’t Tie, but they were always grumpy after he’d lost a limb or two. It was almost amusing again. That was the word. Maybe?

“You don’t remember Amity at all?”

Frustration and anger that was directed at him, but also not. Tie was super strange like that. “Why would I?” His response just made her eyes narrow more, but she didn’t do anything to take it out on him. It was hilarious.

“That’s where you’re from.”

“News to me.” Might be a lie, might not. Gun grunts said lots of weird stuff. He shifted position, watching her while upside down didn’t make it easier to tell if humans were lying or not, but did make her scowling funnier. “That’s where you’re from then? Or that other name you keep using.”

“You can’t actually be him. Fuck.” She was rubbing at her forehead, looking away at nothing. “You remember ghost hunters but not Amity Park?”

“Hey! Names are hard, Tie. Isn’t like you know the name of every town you’ve ever been in.”

“No, but I remember the one I lived in most of my life!”

“Good for you! I’d clap but I’m kinda under armed for the task.” Under armed. He snickered as she only rolled her eyes at his joke, but it only made him think of another one. “Isn’t like a ghost lives anywhere.”

“You’re in here for hell knows how long and you can’t get better jokes?!”

Tie’s irritation just made it funnier. “These are gold! Way better than the stuff you guys laugh at.”

“Like what?”

“Oh you know.” The humour of the moment passed as he got back up, wondering if he should give the old ice trick another go. The noises were fun. “Like how the ghost won’t eat, but ghosts don’t breathe either. So the ghost can’t do much to stop ya.” As if Tie didn’t know. She still made the weird pinched expressions though. Why bother? It didn’t really matter if she actually had a soul still. Those ones just quit and then there’d be a new newbie. “Lots of you think that’s reaaaaal funny.” He stuck out his tongue, gagging. “Gross gun grunts.”

“That’s not funny either.”

“Try breaking your funny bone a few times. That’ll fix it. Or was that computers?” He frowned, rubbing his fingers against his chin. Computers. What was it about computers again? Re-re-something? Like with bones when you...did something…

“Phantom!”

That jerked him out of his considerations. “Still not him!” Now that he checked, Tie looked like she’d been trying to get his attention for awhile again. That, or she’d figured out how to teleport closer to his cage. Both were very possible. Probably.

“You didn’t hear a word I said, did you.”

“You were talking?”

“For someone who says he isn’t Phantom, it sure gets your attention fast.”

He shrugged. What did Tie expect? So what if he noticed it? It didn’t mean anything to him, personally. It was like comp-whatevers. “You could say the coats were coming and I’d do the same thing.”

“Doubt it. You remember Jack and Maddie maybe?” Tie hesitated, as if saying something to him actually mattered. “Your parents?”

“I’m a ghost. And possibly a starfish. Since I do the whole regenerating thing.” He’s pretty sure it’s starfish that do that. “I don’t think they’re big on families.” He thought that was pretty amusing, having like. Little voiceless things that cling to rocks as parents. Actually had a bit in common if you thought of his cage as a rock? Tie didn’t agree, based on how he was biting at her lip and clenching her fists. Still no shooting. Still super weird.

“Be a mercy killing at this point…” Tie wasn’t actually speaking to him, but it was interesting. Killing what? One of the other ghosts maybe. “Sam, Tucker? Any of them ring a bell?”

He certainly didn’t have a bell in here. “Sam...and Tucker are names?” He guessed, shuddering a little. Weird names. Made the gooey mess of ectoplasm he was made of wriggle when he said it. Like when he was struggling to digest something, uncomfortable and heavy and just making him want to move when he couldn’t. Though he could this time. Zipping up to the top of his cage helped shake the feeling off, at least. He wasn’t saying those again, no thank you. “You have weird tricks, Tie”

“They’re just names. I didn’t do anything to make you fly up there. I half thought you couldn’t do that anymore.”

Tie did have a bit of a point. When was the last time he’d flown up here? “Think I forgot I could?” He didn’t really move much in general. Not like he had anywhere to go, his cage didn’t really change.

She just looked tired. “This isn’t fixable.”

He wasn’t really paying attention, poking at the edges of his cage with his feet was pretty entertaining. It tingled a bit when he got pushed back, but flipping over in the air was easy. Why didn’t he float more? “Gun grunts don’t fix things, so Idonno why you care.”

Tie wasn’t paying much attention to him either, muttering to herself. “Manson would kill me for doing it. No way she’d believe you’re like this. Let alone the Fentons...”

Well, that was boring. He busied himself with counting how many seconds it took for the shock to stop coursing through him when he touched the walls. Though it was a bit tricky to keep track between tries.

“Skulker? Ember? You at least remember the ghosts, don’t you?”

“Are you just making names up now Tie?” They just sounded silly. The thought of someone named ‘Skulker’...who was also very tiny. Now that’d be funny. Kinda liked that idea actually.

“Probably don’t even remember the guy who put a million on your head…”

“A million whats? Questions? That’s more a you thing, Tie.”

“No, Vlad. The mayor?”

“The what?” Things weren’t funny anymore. He wasn’t cool and passive. That word, there’d been others but he didn’t even care what they’d been. The V had been enough to set his core to a furious pulsating heat of fury. His ice claws clung to the wall even as the buzzing in his skull grew stronger as the field tried to shove him back. “WHERE” He snared, not caring how his throat burned from the partial wail trying to scrabble out of his throat. Tie didn’t matter, nothing mattered and he actually missed his arm since not having it made it harder to keep his grip and snarl at the one backing away from his prison. “WHERE IS HE?” Oh he’d order anyone, and they’d listen or he’d shred them as soon as he got through- but his claws were cracking- green and red staining and corrupting the fine edge he’d honed so often. Why did he care? He didn’t know, didn’t want to know, he just had to act and now, just in case. The chance might slip away and he wouldn’t, they’d pay they’d pay, they’d PAY.

“Danny! Stop hurting yourself, he’s not here!” Tie was blathering, but at least backed away when he shrieked at her. Stupid Tie. Didn’t know anything. “Hell. You don’t even know why you’re mad, do you.”

He kept slamming the ice back in place, even as his arm weakened and started oozing. He didn’t need his legs, he didn’t need arms, he didn’t need anything. Just OUT. NOW. He snarled and snapped at the metal that grabbed his back and slammed him hard to the ground of his cage. It ignored him and the awful warmth that had consumed everything. He never won against it but now he had to keep trying because-because the anger? Because of something. The metal easily ignored the green surging pulses of electricity, just kept pressing down on him until he wasn’t solid enough to struggle, not strong enough to scream at it. The awful stabbing feeling in his core wanted him to act, but he couldn’t even defiantly flick his tail as he grew colder and slipped out of consciousness.

Everything hurt and it wasn’t even Friday. At least. He didn’t think it was? He’d have to ask Tie about it...if Tie showed up again. Something about her gave him a stab of unease. Might have something to do with all the green stains in here. Didn’t remember getting shot though. Strange. Must have done something. Maybe. Didn’t really matter.

#Danny Phantom #Dannymay2021 #dannymay #valerie gray #many terrible implications #i couldn't help it i had more pondering #vals no good day mark 2 #now to endlessly not decide if i should make a compilation on ao3 #or just stick things to the ends of the phic phight stuff i'm doing

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