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#I think this is the first time I've ever drawn a kiss??? amazing
kattythingz · 20 days
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Someone asked for a kung fu panda au right
Bonus written thing under the cut
“You were all right before,” Ling rasps, clenching his eyes shut—blank scroll a death-grip in his fist. “I’m not… I’m not fit for this role. I barely knew what I was doing before. And now…”
He turns to his friends—Ed at the front of them, watching him with a sympathy Ling almost wants to laugh at. Of all the times for Ed to lose his anger at him… Ling deserves it most now. He rises staggeringly to his feet, and Ed furrows his brow as the scroll is pressed into his hand.
“You were right,” Ling repeats softly to him. “I’m no dragon warrior. But you are. You should be. Take it.”
There’s a heart-stopping moment where Ed only stares at Ling. Just as he finally starts to accept the scroll, and that weak, imposter part of Ling cries for the loss—
“Yeah, I’m not doing that.”
He’s struck face-first with chaste lips to his own.
Ling’s heart screeches to a halt and kick-starts all in one. He’s barely picked one to stick with before Ed’s already pulling away.
His breath catches at the set expression brightening that gaze.
“There’s only one dragon warrior, dumbass, and you were the one chosen for a reason. Come on, don’t make me recite all that destiny bullshit. You know I hate it.”
Ling can only blink at Ed for a moment, his face burning too warm to allow room for though quite yet. Ed smiles at the laughable sight he must make, then.
He places the scroll back in Ling’s hand, and holds his grip there.
“You told me once that you'd prove me wrong,” he says. “So do that. I'm waiting.”
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amiableness · 2 months
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Pairings: Sirius Black x Fem!Reader, Remus Lupin x Fem!Reader
Summary ✿ After finding out Remus Lupin has found himself a girlfriend, a devastated Y/n L/n asks Sirius Black to help her get over him. Except Sirius has feelings for her.
Warnings ✿ Language, unrequited love, angst, kissing, jealousy, reader wearing lipgloss and a dress, mentions of anxiety. If there's more let me know!
Word Count ✿ 20.3k
A/N 💌 This was my first ever series, but I've decided to repost it as a oneshot!
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Your affection for Remus had begun almost from the moment you met him. For nearly five years, you found yourself quietly drawn to him. How could you not be? His tranquil and caring nature had eased your anxieties countless times. His unwavering loyalty to both his friends and his studies never ceased to amaze you. The bravery he exhibited each month, whether he acknowledged it or not, left you in awe. With Remus, you always felt secure, as if nothing could disturb your sense of safety.
Monday nights marked your routine study sessions with Remus, a tradition since the start of sixth year. Arriving promptly at his dorm, you were met with unsettling moans seeping from beneath the door, causing your stomach to plummet. Frozen in shock, you raced through possible explanations, with Sirius seeming the most plausible culprit. Surely, Remus wouldn't forget your study night, and the thought of another girl seemed inconceivable. As you turned around, anxiety coursing through your veins, you collided with Sirius, tears welling up in your eyes.
"Please tell me it’s James in there." You pleaded, the desperation clear in both your tone and your expression, causing Sirius' heart to sink. Knowing James was at practice, he couldn't bring himself to shatter your hope. Instead, he grasped your hand firmly and practically pulled you towards your dormitory. Despite the chaos of emotions, Sirius made sure to shield you with his own body, warding off any prying eyes curious about the tears streaming down your cheeks.
"Are any of your roommates here?" Sirius inquired as he halted in front of your dormitory door.
"No, Lily is staying the night at your dorm with James, and I think Marlene is staying with Dorcas." You responded, your voice tinged with sadness as you used your sleeve to dab at the tears staining your cheeks. Leading the way inside, you guided Sirius into your room, where he realized it was his first time seeing your personal space. Until now, you and Remus had been inseparable, leaving no room for Sirius to spend time alone with you.
He found himself a tad nervous, the proximity to you unnerving him in the best possible way. As he stood in your dormitory, the faint scent of your favorite perfume lingering in the air, Sirius couldn't help but feel a flutter in his stomach. It was an unfamiliar sensation, being so close to you without the familiar presence of Remus nearby.
"It wasn’t James and Lily in there, was it?" Sirius turned to you, his expression filled with concern as he observed you sitting on your bed, visibly holding back tears, awaiting his response.
"No, angel." He replied softly, his voice tinged with empathy as he moved to sit beside you. A sigh escaped his lips as he settled onto your bed. Sirius knew James's schedule all too well, and he was certain that James was still down at the Quidditch pitch, far from the dorm.
Everything about your side of the room was perfectly you. Your desk was adorned with stacks of books, polaroids capturing cherished memories with friends pinned to the wall, and one of Remus’ sweaters casually draped over the back of your chair. Yet, amidst the familiar sights, a small glass vase seized his attention. Within it, a single red tulip, a gift he had given you a few weeks earlier.
As he strolled around Black Lake with the boys, he stumbled upon the patch of flowers, and instantly, he knew it was meant for you. Knowing how much you adored flowers, often doodling them in the margins of your Potions notes while seated beside him, he couldn't resist picking it. James, catching sight of the flower, declared that Lily deserved an entire bouquet. 
You weren’t taken aback when James Potter interrupted your study session with Lily by presenting her with a stunning bouquet of flowers. However, what did catch you off guard was Sirius' gesture: placing a single red flower delicately on top of your open book and sending you a playful wink.
"​M’lady." He had murmured, and at that moment, your cheeks ignited with a warmth you had never felt before.
Lily filled the remainder of your study session with talk of how a red tulip symbolized a declaration of love while you simply laughed in response.
Sirius glanced over at you, noticing the tear-filled gaze fixed upon your hands as you sat on the bed. He hesitated, the weight of his words hanging in the air. "I didn’t know you had feelings for him." he finally admitted, his tone tinged with surprise.
You offered a soft laugh tinged with a hint of sadness. "I guess that means I’m good at hiding it then. It’s been a good couple of years now. Probably started the very first day I met him, honestly," you confessed, a bittersweet smile gracing your lips.
"I’m sorry, angel." Sirius expressed, his voice laced with genuine remorse.
A gentle shake of your head followed. "You don’t have to be sorry," you reassured him, your voice carrying a tone of acceptance intertwined with a hint of resignation.
"I could’ve given you a heads up," Sirius grimaced as your head whipped up to look over at him, the gravity of his words sinking in. "He’s been seeing this girl for weeks. He’s going to ask her out soon."
"Sirius-" you began, your voice carrying a mixture of surprise and concern.
"I’m telling you this not to be mean, but so you’re not blindsided when it happens." Sirius continued his tone earnest yet tinged with regret.
This time, you remained silent, your gaze drifting over to the polaroid displayed prominently on your bedside table. In the photo, you and Remus sat beneath a tree, his arm wrapped around you in a protective embrace while your head rested gently on his shoulder. The memory of that day flooded back — discussing a book, laughter filling the air, and Lily insisting on capturing the moment in a photograph. 
At the end of the day, with a knowing smile, she handed you the polaroid. The setting sun cast a beautiful glow upon the photo when you held it in your hand.
"C’mere," Sirius demanded softly, his voice a gentle command meant to pull you away from the intensity of the picture. He positioned himself against the headboard, arms open wide for you to find solace in. Without hesitation, you crawled into his embrace, nestling against his side. His arms enveloped you, offering comfort and warmth as he planted a tender kiss atop your head.
"What can I do?" Sirius inquired quietly, his gaze fixed on the tears tracing down your cheeks and staining his shirt.
"Help me get over him. Please." You pleaded, the vulnerability in your voice bared as you sought comfort and support from him.
.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.
"Where the hell have you been? You nearly missed breakfast!" James exclaimed, his eyes scanning over your disheveled appearance—your hair in disarray and your clothes creased. It was a rare sight to see you, typically impeccably put together and five minutes ahead of everyone else, arriving late and looking rumpled. He chose not to mention the dark circles under your eyes or the absence of your usual cheery smile. He knew better than to bring that up.
Upon sensing Remus's scrutinizing gaze, you cleared your throat nervously and averted your eyes, unwilling to let him figure out that he was the cause of your disheveled appearance.
“Rough night.” That was simply put. In fact, last night had been incredibly rough, leaving you worse for wear this dreary morning. Cuddling with Sirius comforted you for so long before you were back to crying your heart out. He was kind enough to hold you the entire time, and eventually, you had both fallen asleep. There had been no discussion on what you meant last night about having him help you get over Remus. You didn’t know what you had meant by it either.
You grimaced as the memory flooded back, choosing to sit beside Sirius instead. He wouldn’t admit it in front of the boys, but he was well prepared to knock one of them over if they tried to sit next to him. After the trying night you'd endured, he made it a point to ensure you felt at ease and understood that he was there for you should you need anything. Normally, you occupied the seat next to Remus, with Sirius seated beside James and Peter. However, given the circumstances, he understood that you wouldn't feel comfortable sitting next to Remus that morning.
James' gaze darted between the two of you, noting the departure from your usual seating arrangement. He stole a quick glance at Remus, who seemed intent on studying you. "Hmm. Why is it that Sirius has been quiet all breakfast, and now you are too?" he quipped, breaking the silence.
"Sod off, mate." Sirius grumbled, pushing a steaming cup of tea toward you. Despite the gruff remark, he offered you a sweet smile before returning his attention to his meal. Even though the gesture was minimal, it made you want to burst into tears. The fact that he remembered your favorite tea and how you liked it meant more to you than words could express. Remus, however, frowned at the cup of tea sitting in front of you, his expression troubled.
“What? I can’t make conversation this beautiful morning?” James’s tone was still incredibly upbeat, unlike those around him. Peter hummed in agreement, his mouth full of cereal and unable to respond properly.
"It's storming." Remus mumbled, his gaze still fixed on you, sensing that something was amiss as you avoided meeting his eyes. Usually, you sat next to him, cheerily chatting about another book you had read together.
"Are you implying a storm isn't beautiful? Because I happen to think-"
"James, let's just have a quiet breakfast this Tuesday morning." Sirius interjected, surprising James with the interruption. James opened his mouth to protest, but the seriousness in Sirius's expression halted him mid-sentence. Sirius's deliberate interruption was aimed at signaling to Remus that he had missed your study night. It served its purpose, prompting Remus to acknowledge the missed study date.
"Oh, fuck. Y/n, I’m so sorry! Last night, our study night, I totally forgot," Remus blurted out, his words rushed and filled with regret as he watched your reaction. You simply shrugged and sipped your tea, avoiding direct eye contact with him. You kept your gaze fixed on your plate, knowing that meeting Remus's eyes would likely trigger another wave of tears.
"No big deal." You replied casually.
"Uh," Remus furrowed his eyebrows, his expression a mixture of concern and confusion as he searched your face for any sign of distress. However, your demeanor remained inscrutable, your face a mask of blankness. "Are you sure? I know you really wanted to study this week with your exam coming up-"
You finally met Remus's gaze, sitting up a bit straighter, "I was able to study, Remus, it's fine."
"You were? But uh-" Remus scrambled for words, uncertain how to navigate this tense exchange. He couldn't recall a time when you sounded so curt with him before.
"Sirius helped me." You interjected, your voice steady but tinged with an underlying tension.
James sputtered out a laugh, his gaze darting between you and Sirius. "He helped you study? Willingly?"
In reality, studying hadn't been the main agenda of the night. Before drifting off to sleep, you had hastily handed Sirius your flashcards from the nightstand, however, your pounding headache from crying rendered you unable to focus properly during his quizzing. So, technically, he did help you study, albeit minimally.
Peter raised his eyebrows, his tone laced with curiosity, "Is that where you were all last night? Studying?"
You squirmed uneasily at Peter's implication. Sirius shot James and Peter a sharp glance, silently urging them to stop talking.
Remus's lips parted in surprise as he shifted his gaze from Sirius to you. "He stayed the night with you?" His tone carried a hint of displeasure that didn't escape Sirius's notice. Despite himself, a slight sense of satisfaction flickered within Sirius at Remus's reaction.
Before anyone could respond, a pretty Ravenclaw leaned over Remus, enveloping him in a hug as she rested her head against his shoulder. "Rem, I thought you were going to try and sit with me this morning." She murmured.
Your body tensed at the sight of her; she was the girl from last night. A surge of jealousy, unlike anything you had ever experienced before, washed over you, catching you off guard. Your appetite vanished.
"Uh, sorry. I had to work on some things this morning and got a bit distracted." Remus's response came with a hint of discomfort, his apology tinged with unease. As you observed the exchange, you couldn't quite determine if his discomfort arose from her presence or the attention their interaction garnered. Quietly, you wished it leaned more towards the former.
Her lips formed a pretty pout, “Hm.”
James unabashedly observed the pair while taking a bite of his toast. "You know, Remus, if you ever need relationship advice, I’m here," he remarked, his tone teasing. Remus scowled in response, clearly unamused, while the girl giggled and tightened her grip around him, seemingly unfazed by James's comment.
You stole a glance at Sirius, momentarily tuning out the conversation to observe his reaction to the scene unfolding before you. Sensing the unease gnawing at your stomach, you instinctively reached for Sirius’ hand, which rested on his thigh. As soon as your fingers brushed against his, he responded by intertwining them with yours, his eyes meeting yours in silent understanding.
"Do you want to go?" he whispered softly, squeezing your hand in reassurance. Unable to trust your voice, you simply nodded in response. He released your hand momentarily, a fleeting disappointment washing over you until you watched as he effortlessly grabbed your bag and slung it over his shoulder. With a tender gesture, he reached for a muffin, noticing that you had hardly eaten.
Then, extending his hand towards you, he silently offered his support. Amidst James's lively conversation with the Ravenclaw girl and Remus's contemplative gaze, Peter looked on with a puzzled expression as Sirius extended his hand to you, a silent invitation to leave the discomfort behind.
"You don’t have to hold my bag." You mumbled, rising to your feet to face him, intertwining your fingers once more. Despite the awareness of the eyes fixed upon the two of you, your focus remained solely on Sirius.
"I wanted to, angel." Sirius replied softly, meeting your gaze with warmth. The genuine smile that graced your face was the first of the morning, and Sirius felt as if he had won the lottery.
.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.
"Y/n." His voice sliced through the air, causing you to freeze mid-sentence. But deep down, what had you truly expected? That he wouldn’t approach you while you were quietly engrossed in your book in the common room? Your plan of avoiding him for as long as possible wasn’t unfolding as smoothly as you had hoped.
"Hi, Rem.” You responded softly, offering a genuine smile. Despite the ache that lingered from witnessing him with the Ravenclaw girl at breakfast, you couldn’t deny the bond you shared. After all, he was still your best friend. You couldn’t fault him for getting a girlfriend, no matter how much it hurt.
Remus settled into the armchair opposite you, his expression earnest. "I didn’t really get to talk to you much this morning," he began, his tone gentle.
You offered a nonchalant shrug, hoping to conceal the nervousness. "Oh. I mean, I wasn’t in much of a mood for chatting," you replied, attempting to maintain a façade of composure, though inwardly, you were anything but.
"Is everything alright? Is this about missing last night? I promise that I didn’t mean to, truly," Remus continued, his sincerity evident. Leaning forward, his eyes bore into yours, practically pleading for your forgiveness. Despite your resolve, his sincerity tugged at your heartstrings, and you found yourself wavering.
"I’m not upset about you missing our study night; I understand that things come up." You reassured him as though you were anything truly fine. There was a squeeze in your heart at remembering Remus with another girl, a stark reminder that she wasn't you.
Remus visibly relaxed at your words. "We could reschedule it?" he suggested, his tone hopeful.
A heavy silence settled between you. How were you supposed to tell him that you didn't want to reschedule? That you weren't ready to spend time alone with him right now? Being around him now, knowing you had no chance, felt like a punch to the gut.
"There you guys are!" James’ voice carried throughout the common room, effectively gaining more attention than he had probably intended. Sirius stood right beside him, his gaze already fixed on you. Peter was notably absent, likely engrossed in his studies elsewhere. Nevertheless, you welcomed the distraction.
James huffed as if he had been greatly inconvenienced. "We have been looking everywhere for you guys."
You couldn't help but laugh, "You didn’t think to check the common room first?"
"Y/n, please. Don’t be ridiculous." James quipped as he dropped into the armchair beside Remus. Remus's gaze lingered on you for a moment longer before he sighed and turned his attention to James. Soon enough, they were engrossed in their own conversation.
Sirius settled into the spot next to you, casually draping an arm over the back of the couch just behind your shoulders. As you leaned into his side and offered him a smile, he felt his cheeks flush with warmth. Your affectionate gestures toward him had always been present, but after last night, they seemed to intensify.
Your proximity never failed to make his heart skip a beat, and his stomach flutter. Despite his confidence in hiding his involuntary reactions to you, lately, it seemed more challenging for him to do so.
He greets you with the softest smile, his eyes reflecting warmth. "Hi, angel," he murmurs gently. Sirius had always affectionately called you angel, a term that secretly held a special place in your heart, one of your favorite things about him.
"Hi." You respond, a matching smile adorning your features, mirroring the comfort in his presence.
"I never got to thank you for last night." You admit, your tone filled with gratitude.
Shaking his head modestly, he insists, "You don’t have to thank me."
"It made me feel better having you there with me, so of course I want to thank you." You express earnestly, your appreciation evident in your words.
Sirius leans in, his breath tickling your ear as he whispers, "We still gotta talk about what you meant last night. By asking me to help you get over him."
Feeling a flush of embarrassment, you sputter out a response, "I’m not entirely sure what I meant. I figured you would know how to go about that."
"Why would I know how to go about that?" Sirius questions, genuine curiosity coloring his tone.
Shrugging, you admit, "I don’t know. I just thought you might have. You have way more experience with relationships than I do."
Sirius snorts, a wry grin tugging at the corner of his lips. "I wouldn’t call them relationships." he remarks, his mind briefly wandering through the array of flings he'd had in the past few years. None of them had left a lasting impression on him, none of them had made him feel the way you did.
You shrug, a hint of vulnerability in your expression. "It’s more experience than I have.”
Your voices remain hushed, a deliberate attempt to avoid drawing the attention of James and Remus. Yet, the intimate proximity between you and Sirius could easily spark curiosity on its own. You're practically nestled against his side, his warm breath brushing against your ear as he whispers. To any onlooker, it would seem as though you were lovers, exchanging sweet nothings in a quiet moment of intimacy.
He takes a moment to collect his thoughts, acutely aware of the gravity of his next question. He understands that the answer could severely hurt his feelings, "Are you in love with him?"
Your reaction is swift; you turn to him so abruptly that your noses nearly brush against each other. Sirius silently begs you to linger closer, but you withdraw just enough to maintain a respectable distance. He watches intently as you steal a glance at Remus, your bottom lip caught between your teeth in contemplation.
"No. But, honestly, it probably wouldn’t take much for me to fall in love with him." You confess, your words hanging in the air like a weight. Sirius needs a moment to recover, the impact of your admission hitting him harder than he had anticipated, despite mentally preparing himself for it.
You turn back to him, anguish evident in your voice, "How are you supposed to get over someone you’re nearly in love with?" Sirius hears the devastation in your tone, wishing he could convey that he genuinely comprehends that sentiment. However, delving into such explanations would only invite more questions, and that's the last thing he needs right now.
"I don’t know, angel." He responds simply, observing as you anxiously pick at your nails.
A quiet lull envelops you both before you speak up again, "I don’t think spending all my time with him helps. Maybe I should distance myself a little bit."
"You’re welcome to spend all that time with me instead." Sirius offers, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you closer to his side. As you relax into his embrace, you rest your head on his shoulder. For a few precious minutes, you both sit in silence, lost in your own thoughts.
Remus glances over at you, nearly doing a double-take at the display of affection. You have closed your eyes, seemingly oblivious to Remus' stare, but Sirius him. For a brief, tense moment, Remus and Sirius lock eyes, but then James regains Remus' attention.
“Sirius?” You ask, the weariness evident in your voice.
“Yeah?”
“Remember when you told James to get over Lily that he needed to get under someone else?” Sirius immediately senses the direction of the conversation, and a pang of regret twinges in his chest.
“Yes.”
“Do you think that really works?” You inquire, your tone tinged with uncertainty and a hint of desperation.
“For some people, maybe.” Sirius replies cautiously. He wants to admit that such tactics haven’t proven successful for him and probably never will.
You pull away to look at him, your eyes reflecting a mixture of hope and uncertainty, “Would you help me find someone?”
"There’s no way in hell I’m doing that." Sirius responds firmly, his tone leaving little room for negotiation. But before you can protest, he interjects, "I’ll be your distraction."
"How exactly?" Your voice tinged with uncertainty, unsure of what he means.
"However, you need me. I know I’m not the best study partner, but I’ll run through your flashcards with you whenever you need to study," Sirius offers, his voice softening as he glances from you to Remus. “I know you guys would talk about books a lot, so I’ll read whatever book you’re reading just to discuss it with you. Whatever you want me to do, Y/n, I’ll do it.”
.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.
“You and Y/n were cozy on that couch,” James comments casually, his gaze fixed on the ceiling from where he's sprawled out on his bed. Sirius glances over his shoulder at him, pausing his furious writing at the desk where he's been hunched over for the last twenty minutes.
“Hm. I guess so.” Sirius replies nonchalantly, but his voice’s a subtle tension.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” James' tone carries a note of genuine concern, and Sirius immediately feels the weight of his friend's apprehension settling over the room like a heavy blanket.
“Working on my homework? Yeah, it’s probably my best one yet.” Sirius responds, his tone strained as he tries to maintain composure.
“About comforting the girl you love because she’s in love with your best mate.” James continues, his words cutting through the air like a knife. Sirius freezes, the quill leaving a streak of ink across the paper as his thoughts whirl.
He refuses to turn around and face James, not wanting to see the pitying look he knows will be on his friend's face. Instead, he runs his hand through his hair in frustration, his emotions simmering beneath the surface.
“Surprised you figured it out.” Sirius grumbles, his voice laced with a mixture of defensiveness and resignation. He doesn’t want to confront the truth about your feelings for Remus. The mere thought of you falling in love with someone other than him ignites a pang of jealousy in his chest.
He wants to correct James, to insist that you aren’t in love with Remus, but it feels futile. The reality is too close for comfort, and he can't shake the feeling of impending loss.
“About your feelings? Or hers?” James questions, his head leaning back against his headboard as he studies Sirius, his expression searching.
Sirius climbs onto his bed, letting out a sigh of frustration once his head hits his pillow, the weight of the conversation heavy on his mind. “Both,” he admits, his voice tinged with uncertainty.
“I didn’t notice until today with Y/n. She looked devastated when Adeline was all over Remus. On the other hand, I’ve known you’ve had feelings for her for years. The things you do for her, you wouldn’t do for anyone else.” James observes, his tone tinged with a mix of understanding and concern.
Sirius doesn’t know what to say in response, but deep down, he knows James is right. He’s always treated you differently, gone the extra mile for you in ways he wouldn't for anyone else. He had just hoped it wasn’t so obvious.
James sighs loudly, the weight of the situation hanging heavy in the air, “You gotta be careful, mate. You’re gonna get your feelings hurt.”
“I’d rather my feelings be hurt than hers.” Sirius responds earnestly, his voice carrying a hint of determination.
.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.
It was official. Remus Lupin and Adeline Reyes were officially dating. The news didn’t come as a surprise; Remus had been bringing her around more often lately. She seamlessly integrated herself into your group dynamic, joining you all at breakfast some mornings and effortlessly engaging in conversation as if she had been there for years. Adeline adeptly kept pace with Sirius’ quick quips and could outwit James with a witty comeback. She was quick to include Peter whenever James unintentionally overshadowed him in conversation and was always eager to discuss the next book you planned to read.
It was horrifically frustrating.
You wanted to dislike her, but deep down, you knew it was just jealousy clouding your judgment. Adeline was undeniably genuine and sweet; you could easily envision yourself becoming good friends with her. However, every time she affectionately pressed her lips to Remus’ cheeks or leaned into his side, it felt like a sharp pang reminding you of your own feelings and the heartwrenching situation you found yourself in.
It left a bitter taste in your mouth. Just a few weeks ago, that was your spot, and you were blissfully unaware of his feelings for another girl. You felt foolish, caught off guard. Was it all in your head? Had you merely romanticized every interaction with him? Built up a scenario that never truly existed?
"Y/n, this is the third time you've spaced out. Are you alright?" Lily's concerned voice broke through your thoughts as she settled beside you on the bed. Despite James's insistence on a get-together downstairs, you found your mind drifting elsewhere. It had been a couple of weeks since Remus and Adeline declared their relationship, and ever since then, your thoughts had been in turmoil.
You shrugged, "I'm okay. I just don't think I'm up for a party tonight."
"You haven't seemed in the party mood for weeks." Marlene remarked, her attention fixed on her reflection as she applied lip gloss. Sensing something amiss, she pivoted abruptly to face you.
"Is this about Remus and Adeline?" Lily's direct question made your stomach plummet.
"I, uh—no." You stammered, feeling as startled as you looked by her inquiry.
"Godric, you're a horrible liar." Marlene remarked, tossing the tube of sparkly gloss onto her bed before striding over to her trunk and flinging it open. "It's okay to miss your best friend. You two are practically glued to each other's sides. I'm sure it's odd not spending as much time with him anymore."
Lily observed the subtle shift in your demeanor as Marlene spoke, although Marlene herself was entirely engrossed in rummaging through her clothes until she emitted a satisfied hum.
Shoving a floral sundress into your hands, Marlene declared, "Here, you're not wearing your uniform tonight. Wearing something cute will make you feel better." Your fingers traced over the silky material, white with colorful flowers scattered across it. Marlene observed as you held up the dress, eyeing the spaghetti straps and milkmaid top with uncertainty.
"It's winter, Marlene." You pointed out your tone laced with practicality.
"We're inside. But if you do get cold, I’m sure Sirius would gladly warm you up." Marlene chirped, grinning at your surprised expression.
"Sirius is not going to warm me up." You grumbled as you stood up and headed to the bathroom with the dress in hand. With the door shut, you changed out of your uniform. You had to admit, the dress was pretty. Maybe Marlene was right; wearing something cute would boost your confidence and mood.
"Are you sure? You two have been awfully cozy lately!" Lily's laughter laced her tone as she called through the door. You slipped the dress on, then twisted in front of the mirror to assess how it looked. Concluding that you liked it, you also appreciated how it made you feel slightly brighter. It reminded you of a summer spent in Italy with your parents, where you practically lived in sundresses.
You turn open the door and twirl for the girls, who squeal in appreciation. Marlene snatches the lip gloss she had tossed aside, grabbing at your cheeks to dot some on your lips.
"We haven’t been cozy. We’re just acting like friends do." You mumble, your words slightly muffled from your cheeks being squished.
“Bullshit! You never snuggled Peter, never did with James before he got himself a girlfriend,” Marlene turned to wink at Lily. “Honestly, you never did with Remus either. But you and Sirius have been all over each other.”
“We have not!” You deny it, looking to Lily for support. But she only leans back on her hands and sends you a smug smile.
"The other day, I walked into the common room with James, and you were practically asleep on Sirius’ lap while he read to you.” Lily grins.
“He was reading to you? That’s the cutest thing I have ever heard. That’s your love language right there!” Marlene's gasp was filled with awe, and you didn't know how to respond. Because you had indeed fallen asleep on his lap while Sirius twirled a strand of your hair between his fingers absentmindedly as he read Pride and Prejudice to you. You hardly comprehended the story, too focused on Sirius’ voice and his gentle touch. It was the first time in weeks that you hadn’t thought of Remus.
“It was the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen Sirius do.” Lily agreed, nodding in approval. “I’m telling you, he has feelings for you. I’ve thought so ever since 5th year. He pretty much confirmed it when he gave you that red tulip.”
“A declaration of love!” Marlene practically sang, her excitement contagious.
.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.
As you reached the bottom step with Marlene and Lily, you let out a sigh. The common room was bustling, with students scattered everywhere, making the air feel stuffy and warm. You briefly pondered what James’ definition of a get-together was, because this felt more like a full-blown party.
“James said he invited hardly anyone.” You muttered to Lily, who nodded in agreement.
“He’s a social butterfly, you never know with him.” Lily replied with a shrug, craning her neck to spot James amidst the crowd. She eventually spotted him near the fireplace, engaged in lively conversation with Sirius and a few other members of the Quidditch team. You allowed Lily to lead you through the throng of people, observing the lively atmosphere around you. Marlene had already disappeared into the crowd, no doubt on a mission to find Dorcas.
You can hear him before you see him: Sirius’ hearty laugh resonates over the music and the crowd’s chatter. It's a remarkable sound, drawing attention effortlessly. And there he is, standing tall next to James by the fireplace, a drink held casually in one hand while the other gestures animatedly as he converses with the guy beside him. Clad in a simple black T-shirt, Sirius exudes a captivating charm, and you can't help but admire how good he looks in the flickering firelight.
Though you'd never admit it aloud, Lily had been onto something. You and Sirius had been spending an increasing amount of time together. True to his word, Sirius had been a genuine distraction from your heartache. The activities you once shared with Remus were gradually being replaced by moments with Sirius.
It was no longer Remus, who you sat next to in the morning. No longer Remus, who you reviewed your flashcards with. No longer Remus, who would sit with you next to Black Lake and chat about your latest book. And no longer Remus, who would hold your hand to calm your anxiety every time you had to speak up in front of the class.
But it wasn’t like you had asked Sirius to do any of these things. It was Sirius who had started it, not in an attempt to replace what you had with Remus, but to remind you that he was there for you. That he would do anything to make you feel loved. Sirius wasn’t doing any of this because he felt obligated. He did it because he wanted you to know that you weren’t alone and that he didn’t plan on leaving any time soon.
But there were things that Sirius did that Remus had never done. Every morning, a cup of your favorite tea awaited at your spot next to him. He carried one of your scrunchies in his bag because you could never keep track of them, even offering to tie your hair up for you. Each time he walked around Black Lake, he brought you back a red tulip, which you tucked into the vase on your desk next to the others. You were building up quite the collection. 
Sirius bursts into laughter, but his mirth is interrupted by James' boisterous greeting. The sudden volume jerks your attention away from Sirius, and you find yourself facing Lily, who offers a halfhearted protest as James envelops her in a bear hug. You brace yourself as James turns his attention to you, lifting you up despite your protests about your dress. After he sets you down, a moment of imbalance is quickly rectified as you feel an arm slip around your waist, steadying you against someone's chest.
"He's had a few too many." Sirius whispers into your ear, his breath sending shivers down your spine. You lean into his embrace, relishing the warmth and familiarity of his touch before turning around to face him.
With your palms pressed against his chest, you offer him a warm smile. "Hi."
He still holds onto his drink, but his pointer finger slips under the strap of your dress, giving it a gentle tug. "This is cute," he murmurs, his voice now hushed compared to the near shouting from a minute ago. His eyes meet yours, and you feel a wave of warmth spread through you. No one has ever looked at you the way he's looking at you right now.
"Thank you." You reply softly, surprised at the tenderness in your own voice. But you know he hears you as he smiles before turning back to the conversation he was having with a few other guys.
Pushing down your disappointment, you adjust the straps of your dress and take a breath, scanning the room for someone else to chat with. However, Sirius surprises you by wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you gently into his side. He continues to talk, his voice much quieter this time, but the three subtle squeezes let you know he's still there if you need him.
Lily catches your eye and mouths, "I told you so."
.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.
You hadn't intended to eavesdrop, it was just a coincidence that you found yourself in the vicinity at that moment. 
"You know, everyone thought you and Y/n were gonna get together." Peter remarks, nudging Remus in the side. Remus turns to him, likely taken aback. From your vantage point, you can't see their faces, but you recognize their silhouettes. They're seated together on one of the couches, engaged in quiet conversation amid the lively atmosphere of the party. You had briefly slipped away from Sirius to grab a drink, but now you're starting to regret your decision.
"Y/n and I?" Remus's response is laced with surprise, confirming your suspicions. You stand frozen, a few feet away from the couch, feeling your stomach plummet. 
"Yeah, I think most people thought you already were. I mean, you guys spent so much time together." Peter continues, oblivious to the impact of his words. You try to avoid lingering on the past tense word.
"No, never," Remus hastily interjects. “I don’t think I could think of Y/n like that.” His words landed like a heavy blow to your chest. You feel a pang of disappointment and hurt ripple through you, sitting heavy in your stomach. With tears threatening to spill from your eyes, you pivot on your heel and stride purposefully toward your dormitory.
As you navigate through the bustling crowd, your lips utter excuse me, and I need to get through in a mechanical cadence. Each step feels heavier than the last, burdened by the weight of Remus's words and the shattered illusions they bring.
Finally, the door to your dormitory swings shut behind you with a resounding thud, the noise a stark contrast to the chaos of the party below. Alone in the silence of your room, you confront the raw emotions swirling within you, grappling with the harsh reality of unrequited feelings.
Tears blur your vision so severely that you nearly trip over your shoes in your haste to remove them. With trembling hands, you toss the covers over your body, seeking refuge in the soft embrace of your bed. You bury your face into the welcoming embrace of your pillow, heedless of the inevitable mascara stains that will be left behind. A strangled sob escapes your lips, muffled by the sanctuary of your pillow, as you grapple with the overwhelming wave of emotions crashing over you.
The noise of the party downstairs serves as a comforting cloak, allowing you to release your emotions freely and without judgment.
The abruptness with which Remus shut down any possibility of harboring feelings for you cuts deep, like a dagger to the heart. The ache in your chest feels all-consuming, a relentless reminder that you will never be with him. Despite the rational part of your mind knowing that his affection for Adeline precludes any possibility of reciprocating your feelings, the emotional turmoil still wreaks havoc on your fragile heart.
In the solitude of your room, you allow yourself to cry. With each passing moment, the ache in your chest deepens.
"Y/n? Oh, Godric." Lily exclaims, rushing to your side with concern etched across her features. She gathers your hair away from your tear-streaked face, her eyes taking in the sight before her: cheeks flushed and blotchy, mascara-tinged tears tracing down your cheeks, your hair in disarray. She had sensed something amiss when she spotted you hurrying up the stairs, but the depth of your distress caught her off guard.
"Y/n, what can I do? Do you want a glass of water? Can I, uh..." Lily's voice trembles with worry as she looks around the room, searching for anything that might bring you comfort. She's witnessed your tears before, but never like this, leaving her feeling utterly helpless.
"I don't need water. Can you..." Your voice breaks, choked with emotion, making it difficult to articulate your thoughts.
Lily watches as you clutch your pillow tighter, waiting for your next words. "Can I what?" She prompts gently.
"I just need..." You falter, another sob escaping your lips. "Sirius. I need Sirius."
Without hesitation, Lily nods, determined to find Sirius and bring him to your side. As she exits your dorm, you sink deeper into your pillow, allowing the tears to flow freely. Your mind races with questions, grappling with how to face Remus again and feign normalcy.
You're not completely taken aback by his words; the past few weeks have allowed you to gradually accept that Remus may not share your feelings. Yet, processing this realization privately was less painful than hearing his firm denial of any possibility of reciprocation. Perhaps there's a tinge of sorrow in acknowledging this truth, as it signifies a shift in your relationship with Remus—one that might never be quite the same again. Accepting this reality proves to be a bitter pill to swallow.
"Angel," Your body instinctively relaxes at the soothing sound of Sirius’s voice. The pillow is gently drawn from your grip, revealing Sirius’ concerned face as it comes into view. "What can I do? What do you need?" he asks, his tone brimming with genuine concern and care.
Kneeling by the side of your bed, his eyes brim with concern, evoking emotion that threatens to overwhelm you once more. You lie on your side, facing him, your makeup smudged and your eyes swollen from tears. Despite your disheveled appearance, he finds you the most beautiful girl in the world.
"Hold on." He murmurs softly before disappearing into your bathroom. The sound of running water fills the silence, a gentle reminder of his comforting presence. Moments later, he returns with a damp cloth in hand, his touch gentle yet firm as he kneels before you. With tender care, he cradles your jaw, his movements deliberate as he gently wipes away the remnants of makeup from your face, his actions speaking volumes of his unwavering support and affection.
"All clean," he whispers softly, discarding the cloth onto the ground with the intention of dealing with it later. "What do you need?"
"You." You sniffle, tugging gently at his hand to convey your desire for him to join you in bed. Without hesitation, Sirius kicks off his shoes and slips under the covers beside you. With a tender gesture, he reaches out, his hand gently brushing the hair away from your face as he settles in beside you. Your faces hover mere inches apart, a tantalizing proximity that he tries to distract from by focusing on the simple task of brushing your hair away, the urge to kiss you tugging at the corners of his mind.
"I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pull you away from the party." You murmur apologetically, your gaze meeting his. His eyes snap to yours, a flicker of offense crossing his features.
"I would drop anything for you." He responds earnestly, his sincerity shining through in his words, leaving no room for doubt. A sharp inhale escapes your lips as you stare back at him, the weight of his commitment settling between you.
"What happened, angel?" he asks gently, his eyes reflecting a hint of guilt for prying. As your eyes well up with tears once more, Sirius feels a pang of remorse for pressing the matter. He's about to apologize and suggest forgetting about it when you offer an answer, leaving him momentarily speechless.
"I overheard Peter and Remus." You confess, your voice trembling with vulnerability. Sirius forces down the surge of jealousy that threatens to consume him at the mention of Remus. 
"Peter told him that everyone thought he and I would get together." You continue, your words hanging in the air, heavy with disappointment and hurt. Sirius listens attentively, his heart aching for the pain etched in your voice.
"Remus told him that he couldn’t ever see me like that." You reveal, your voice wavering with emotion. "I know it’s stupid since he has a girlfriend, but-" You pause to draw in a shuddering breath, and Sirius gently brushes away the tears that cascade down your cheeks and over the bridge of your nose.
"It hurt," you confess, the rawness of your emotions laid bare. "That he’s never once seen me the way I have always seen him. We’ve always been just friends, and it sucks." Each word carries the weight of your longing and disappointment.
Sirius sighs, his voice tinged with empathy, "I love Remus, I do, but he can be blind sometimes. So in his head and down on himself that he misses what’s in front of him. And he truly missed out on the most perfect girl there is. But I promise you that there is a guy out there who will recognize what an angel you are, and he won’t ever let you go."
Your eyes well up with tears again, and Sirius starts to panic that he said something wrong. But then you're wrapping your arms around his waist and pressing your head into the crook of his neck.
Your voice is muffled as you speak, "Please stay here with me tonight?"
"Whatever you want, angel." Sirius responds tenderly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, knowing there is no way he’d ever be able to deny you.
.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.
James looks bewildered. "You aren’t going to sit with us?" he asks, confusion evident in his voice.
You stand behind your typical spot, observing the boys' reactions as they stare at you as though you've just delivered the worst news imaginable. For years, ever since you had met the boys, you had been sitting with them every day. This spot held a sense of familiarity and comfort, a symbol of your friendship with them. Thus, your decision to sit with the girls today comes as a major surprise.
Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas occupy seats further down the table. While they would occasionally join your circle, especially after Lily and James got together, Lily had once confided in you that she valued having space and prioritizing her friendships, too; she didn’t want to spend all her time with James. To everyone's surprise, James had been okay with this arrangement and had even agreed.
“I’m going to sit down the table with the girls. You’ll still be able to see me; we can wave at each other!” You offer James a hopeful smile, but he shakes his head, letting out a dramatic sigh.
Pointing his fork in your direction, James asserts, “It’s not the same, and you know it.”
“Sit with us, I feel like I hardly see you.” Remus protests and your stomach sinks as you make eye contact with him. Ever since you overheard Remus tell Peter he didn’t have feelings for you, you had been finding every excuse possible to avoid him.
It’s been a week since the party, and you can now admit that you've successfully avoided any alone time with Remus. By now, it's clear he senses something amiss. Every time he tries to approach you, you have an excuse ready for why you can't study together again or why you can't chat. What's worse is that it's only him you're avoiding. You still engage in normal chats with Peter in the common room and banter back and forth with James as usual. And Sirius, well, you hardly leave his side. Wherever you go, Sirius isn't far away, a constant presence by your side.
Not only that, but it seemed as if you couldn't get enough of each other—cuddled up on the common room couch, shoulder to shoulder during meals, and always side by side while walking to Black Lake. Sirius and you were growing increasingly closer with each passing day.
It was driving Remus crazy.
He looks at you pleadingly, his expression betraying the torment of seeing you drift away from him. You know his distress can't stem solely from your decision to sit with the girls. He started pulling away first, you think bitterly.
"Just wanted to spend some time with the girls, switch things up." You explain with a casual shrug, feeling a sense of awkwardness creeping over you as you shift on your feet. Remus wears a disappointed expression, while James and Peter appear to have already moved on, engaged in a bickering match over who gets the last orange.
"You've been switching things up quite a bit lately." Remus grumbles under his breath, his voice barely audible over the morning chatter in the dinning hall. Only Adeline catches his words as she pulls away to glance at his face, startled by the bitterness in his tone. Unaware of her scrutiny, Remus remains fixated on you, his expression betraying a mixture of longing and frustration.
"Okay, well, I’ll catch you guys later." You announce with a smile, and at that moment, Sirius glances up at you. He wants to tell you how much he'll miss you. Every morning, he eagerly anticipates the sight of your smile, the way you playfully bump your shoulder into his once you take your spot beside him. Your laughter and sweet smile are the highlights of his morning routine.
He'd gladly join you for breakfast with the girls if you asked.
To everyone's surprise, you sling your arms around Sirius' shoulders and tilt your head forward, looking at him from the side. Caught off guard, Sirius freezes in your embrace, trying desperately not to read too much into your unexpected touch.
"I'll wait for you so we can walk to class together. I'll miss you." You whisper, your lips pressing gently onto his cheek. A faint pink sheen of your lipgloss remains on his skin in the shape of your lips, a subtle reminder of your affection.
Before he can respond, you're already pulling away, leaving Sirius to watch you walk back to the girls. His cheeks flush, his mouth slightly parted in surprise. Remus narrows his eyes at the mark you've left behind while Adeline observes the interaction between Sirius and Remus, sensing Remus's agitation.
James lets out a low whistle. "She'll miss you, will she?" he remarks, his tone laced with amusement and curiosity.
“Oh fuck off, mate.” Sirius grumbles before taking a sip of his tea to try and hide his smile.
.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.
You sigh, slumping down in your chair, "I don’t think I can handle another flashcard."
Sirius glances up from across the table, finding you lost in contemplation as you stare out the window. It's midday, and the sun's gentle rays illuminate the library, casting a warm glow despite the lingering chill outside. You both share the longing to step into the crisp air outdoors, yet Sirius remained steadfast in his commitment to assisting you with your studies.
"Do you wanna take a break?" Sirius asks, his gaze meeting yours as you glance up from the pile of books and notes spread out before you. Your lips press together, betraying the weight of your internal debate about whether you can afford to step away from your tasks.
"Come on, we can go for a walk." He encourages, his tone gentle yet persuasive as he begins to gather his belongings, preparing to pack his bag.
You concede, “A quick walk.”
The fresh air and the warmth of the sun against your skin felt rejuvenating after spending hours cooped up in the library. Your body ached, and your brain felt numb from the relentless studying. The only thing that kept you going was Sirius, who would slip you pieces of chocolate every time you answered a question correctly. Without him, you would have abandoned your studies hours ago.
As you walk, both of you are enveloped in a quiet tranquility, lost in your own thoughts. It's a comfortable silence, where neither of you feels compelled to fill the gaps with conversation. Instead, you simply bump into each other occasionally, exchanging shy smiles that speak volumes without a single word being uttered.
"Where are you taking me, Black?" You finally inquire, noting the direction as you pass Black Lake. You stroll leisurely, savoring the symphony of birdsong in the trees and the distant chatter of other students gradually fading into the background. Leaves shudder in response to the gentle breeze, prompting you to wrap your robes tighter around your body. Winter is approaching, and the biting chill in the air serves as a stark reminder of the season's impending arrival.
Sirius smiles in response, his expression warm and inviting, "Somewhere I think you'll like."
"Have I been there before?" You cast a glance at him, observing his wind-blown hair, cheeks flushed pink from the cold, and his bottom lip gently caught between his teeth.
"I hope not." He responds honestly, his voice carrying a hint of vulnerability. The possibility lingers, given that the boys are familiar with this field as well. The mere thought of Remus bringing you here tightens his chest. After all, you and Remus often took walks together, so it wouldn't be too surprising if he had.
Would Remus have brought you here, though? Sirius contemplates quietly. He's never heard you mention it, but he knows you would have. You've always cherished exploring the castle and eagerly shared your discoveries with the boys.
Sirius is startled when you suddenly gasp, excitement laced in your tone, "Oh my Godric. Is that a field of tulips?"
Sirius feels his heart swell at the excitement in your voice. Before he can respond, you stride ahead of him, drawn to the swath of red flowers like a magnet. He remains where he stands, content to watch you as you explore the vibrant field.
A pang of longing washes over him as he wishes he had Lily's muggle camera. This moment would undoubtedly be captured and proudly displayed above his desk among his collection of Polaroids.
"C'mere!" You call out excitedly, your hand extended towards him. Sirius grins, his heart lightening at your enthusiasm as he walks over to join you. Once he reaches you, he gladly grasps your hand, feeling a rush of warmth at the connection.
You lead him further into the field, your laughter carrying on the gentle breeze. Finally, you drop into the middle of the sea of tulips, tugging him along with you, and for a moment, the world feels suspended in the beauty of the moment.
Tilting your head towards the sun, you sigh happily. "I didn’t know this was here," you remark, your voice filled with wonder.
"Found it with the boys a couple of weeks ago." Sirius responds, his fingers idly twirling a blade of grass he plucked from the ground.
"Did you pick the tulips you gave me from here?" You inquire, your voice soft with curiosity. Sirius nods in response, a faint blush gracing his cheeks as he recalls the memory. He's relieved that your eyes are still closed, blissfully unaware of his flustered state.
For a few minutes, a comfortable silence settles between you both, allowing the tranquility of the moment to envelop you like a warm embrace.
"Can I tell you something?" You ask, tilting your head back down to look at him, your gaze soft yet curious.
"Anything," Sirius replies, his voice filled with warmth and genuine interest.
"I've never been given flowers before. Whenever you give me a tulip, it's the highlight of my day." You admit softly, shifting so you're sitting with your legs crossed, a vulnerable honesty coloring your words.
"You've never been given flowers? Ever?" Sirius questions, his surprise evident in his tone and expression. You shake your head in response, confirming his disbelief.
He can't even fathom it. How could no one ever have given you flowers before? How does the girl who constantly doodles flowers on her notes never receive them? The thought perplexes him, stirring a mix of incredulity and a newfound determination to ensure you receive the appreciation you deserve.
"Guess I'll be making up for that then." Sirius decides, his voice showing determination as he sends you a devastating smile. Your stomach flutters at the sight.
"Sirius." you say softly, drawing his attention.
"What, angel?" He responds, his tone gentle and attentive.
"Thank you. For being by my side through everything." You express with sincerity, your voice filled with gratitude. 
In the past few weeks, Sirius has been a constant presence by your side. Whenever Remus kissed Adeline, Sirius would offer a comforting touch, silently understanding your feelings. He'd weave silly stories to divert your attention from Adeline's flirtations with Remus, ensuring you never felt alone for even a moment.
He grins in response, "There's nowhere else I'd rather be."
“Nowhere else, huh?” Your tone is teasing, and Sirius merely rolls his eyes at you, a playful glint dancing in his eyes. You observe him as he picks tulips one by one, gradually assembling a bundle in his hand. Watching him put together a bouquet that you know he will give you fills you with a sense of anticipation. Everything about sitting in a field of flowers with Sirius makes you feel lightheaded as if you're caught in a blissful dream.
Come to think of it, lately, every time Sirius did something for you, it left you feeling dizzy.
"You know it's true. I ditched Hogsmeade this weekend to spend time with you in the library." Sirius says, a hint of amusement in his voice as he recalls the decision.
"That's true, but I did advise you against it. I doubt a day in the library is much of a weekend highlight for you." You reply, raising an eyebrow playfully.
"If you think seeing you surrounded by a field of flowers isn't a weekend highlight, then you're sorely mistaken. Easily a monthly highlight for me." Sirius adds, his eyes sparkling with fondness as he gazes at you amidst the scenic beauty.
“You flirt.” You giggle, your laughter echoing in the tranquil atmosphere, before reclining on the grass and shutting your eyes.
Sirius' features soften at your playful remark. "Only for my favorite girl," he responds tenderly, his voice carrying warmth and affection as he watches over you.
What started as a short walk stretched into two hours spent in the flower field, immersed in conversation and selecting the loveliest blooms together. By the end, Sirius presented you with a bundle of tulips in various hues. Upon entering your dorm room with the flowers in hand, Lily's gasp was so pronounced that it startled you.
“Tell me that Sirius got you those.”
"He picked them for me." You beam, offering the bouquet to Lily for her admiration. "I mean, I helped too, but it was mostly him.”
“Who knew that he was such a romantic?” Marlene gushed, sitting next to Lily on her bed to take a peek.
“I told you he’s into you! Look at these flowers!” Lily cried out, flopping back onto her bed with the flowers pressed into her chest. Marlene laughs from beside her.
You rolled your eyes affectionately, “We're just friends.” Marlene scoffs.
"No, you're not. That little stunt at breakfast you pulled this morning. Hugging him from behind and kissing him? Definitely not platonic." Marlene remarks, her tone teasing yet observant. Embarrassment floods through you; you hadn't planned on being so affectionate with Sirius; it just happened. You're grateful Sirius didn't bring it up; you probably would have collapsed if he had. 
"I just kissed his cheek!" you defend, feeling a blush rise to your cheeks.
Lily grins mischievously. "You should've seen how he looked at you when you walked away."
"Totally lovesick!" Marlene exclaims, adding her enthusiastic agreement to Lily's observation.
"Both of you are being ridiculous. He doesn’t have feelings for me, and even if he did, I need to get over Remus first." Taking the bouquet from Lily, you stride toward your desk to add them to your glass jar full of other flowers. You're almost out of the room. Soon you’ll have to pluck out the ones that are dropping, but you don’t have the heart to do it yet.
The girls were fully aware of the situation. You explained to them why you were so upset the morning after the party. There was no way you could have pretended like something wasn’t wrong. With Sirius sleeping in your bed and your swollen eyes, there was no hiding anything.
"First?" Lily's voice carries a hint of excitement, exchanging a giddy look with Marlene.
You pivot, leaning against your desk. "What?"
"You said first. Like once you get over Remus, you could see yourself being with Sirius."
"No, I didn't." You protest, embarrassment flooding your stomach.
Marlene's grin widens mischievously as she exchanges a knowing glance with Lily. "Oh, but you did. We both heard you."
A nervous laugh escapes your lips as you playfully roll your eyes, "Oh, fuck off, guys.” 
Your friends continue to tease you, their laughter filling the room. Perhaps you were starting to form feelings for Sirius, but you preferred to keep them close to your heart, away from the probing eyes of Lily and Marlene, who always seemed to pick up on every subtle shift in your emotions.
.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.
“There you are! I was worried sick!” James exclaims as Sirius opens the door to the dorm. Remus glances up from his book, while Peter remains focused on his homework, unfazed by James' dramatics. Sirius, lost in memories of his afternoon with you, barely registers James' words as he flops onto his bed, a goofy smile lingering on his lips.
It's only when James tosses his pillow at Sirius that he snaps back to reality.
“Oi! What was that for?” Sirius protests, finally acknowledging James' presence with a bemused expression.
“You’re ignoring me!” James accuses, crossing his arms.
Sirius stammers, “I wasn’t! I was just-“
James interrupts, a mischievous glint in his eyes, “Daydreaming about Y/n? What did you two get up to anyways?”
Remus stiffens, lowering his book to look at Sirius, “You were with Y/n today?”
Sirius sits back up and exchanges a tense glance with Remus, “Yeah, I was.”
He turns to James, “Helped her study a bit.” He neglects to mention the flower field, wanting to keep that memory to himself. Plus, he knows the boys will tease them every chance they get.
James stares at Sirius, incredulity flashing across his face. "That's all? Sounds boring. Should've come to Hogsmeade with us."
Sirius is about to respond when Remus interjects, his tone betraying a hint of disbelief. "I'm sorry. You turned down Hogsmeade to study? With Y/n?" His eyebrows shoot up in surprise.
Sirius shrugs, his tone nonchalant. "No need, mate. I've got her."
Remus furrows his brow, considering Sirius's response. "I can still ask her, give her another option," he suggests casually, but there's an undertone of something that Sirius can't quite decipher.
Sirius tenses, meeting Remus's gaze head-on. He's unsure if Remus is hinting at something deeper or if he's simply offering another study option. Nevertheless, Sirius feels a pang of reluctance at the thought of giving up his time with you, even for studying.
.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.
Peter huffed, practically slamming himself on the couch next to you, his frustration evident in the way he dropped onto the couch. “Remus and Adeline are getting on my last nerve.”
James glanced up from where he was sitting across from you, his attention momentarily diverted from the game of cards. His eyebrows raised in curiosity as he observed Peter's demeanor. "They makin’ out in the dorm again?" he questioned, a playful grin tugging at the corners of his lips.
You turn your head to hide your reaction, your stomach churning with familiar discomfort. After nearly two months of their relationship, you still felt uneasy hearing about them together, effectively reminding you of your lingering feelings for Remus.
It would be a lie to say that your feelings for Remus hadn’t changed. In fact, you were beginning to notice a subtle shift in your perspective, a gradual easing of the discomfort that once swarmed your chest at the sight of him and Adeline together. That twinge of jealousy you used to feel when looking at them was easing up, instead being replaced by a dull ache in your chest.
You found yourself increasingly preoccupied with thoughts of Sirius, his image and the memories of your time together occupying your mind more frequently than before. You caught yourself smiling at the little moments you shared, replaying conversations and gestures, finding comfort in the warmth of his presence even when he wasn't around.
Peter shook his head against the cushion, his expression irritated. "No, they’re bickering. They've been at it for nearly twenty minutes. Couldn’t get a damn thing done on this essay.”
James wore a look of surprise as he arched his eyebrow, “They’re fighting?”
Peter looked away from the fire to glance over at James blankly, “No, bickering. There’s a difference.” His tone is matter-of-fact and laced with frustration.
“We’ll be quiet, Peter. Work on your essay.” You promise, sending the blond boy a soft smile.
James’ lips curve in a mischievous grin, eyes lit up with amusement, “Guess all relationships have to come out of the honeymoon phase.” He quips, tone playful with satisfaction. Peter sighs, tipping his head back onto the headrest of the couch like he can’t take anymore.
“James, it’s your turn.” You call, the gentle tap of your pointer finger against the cards catches his attention. His eyes flicker down to the cards sprawled between you both before glancing back up at you.
“Did you at least appreciate my pun?” He asks, a hopeful upturn of his lips present.
“It was wonderful.” You affirm, voice soft as if you’re telling a young child that their artwork is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen.
James’s face lights up with a satisfied smile, and his voice is full of teasing gratitude, “Thank you, Y/n. I knew you would have my back.”
“What does she have your back about?” Sirius’ voice cuts through the air, his sudden appearance causing you and James to glance over at him. Peter opens one eye as Sirius sits on the couch next to him.
James stares at the cards while debating his next move, “She appreciates me for who I am. Maybe you should take some notes from her.” 
Sirius hardly hears James. Instead, his eyes flicker over to you. He finds himself entranced by the subtle movements of your features, the way your eyebrows furrow in playful impatience as you await James to decide. The glow from the fire is dancing over your face, and he has the urge to reach out and touch your cheek, tracing over where the heat has touched. You look gorgeous like this, drenched in the soft light of the fire and so at ease. The words are at the tip of his tongue, but he swallows them down.
As your eyes meet his, a gentle smile graces your lips, and Sirius feels his stomach flip and heart stutter. You’re looking at him with so much warmth that you could rival the fire next to you, and he knows he never wants to forget the way you’re looking at him.
Amidst the crackle of the fire and the soft murmurs of the surrounding conversations, it’s then that Sirius is struck by the sudden realization that sends shockwaves throughout his entire body. He is hit with the truth that he’s been avoiding for ages; he is entirely and desperately in love with you.
Sirius grapples with a fact that feels almost suffocating in its intensity. His gaze falls to his lap, the reality of his situation weighing heavily upon him. He’s in love with a girl who holds feelings for someone else. Not just someone else, but Remus. His best mate, who, as of lately, has shown increasing concern about the nature of your relationship with Sirius. The way he pinches his brows together when you laugh at a joke Sirius makes, the subtle shifts in his demeanor whenever you show Sirius affection- it’s all Sirius can focus on. Remus sees you in a different light, and it’s making Sirius uneasy.
And so, he sits in silence, grappling with the truth that he’s fallen for a girl that will never be his.
“Sirius,” You say softly, your hand gently resting atop his, hoping to bring him back from his thoughts. His eyes dart up to meet yours, and you smile softly. “You okay? You’re quiet.”
No, he isn’t. 
But instead, he offers a reassuring smile and squeezes your hand, “I’m okay, angel. Just tired.”
“Not too tired to lose to me in cards, are you?” James interjects, sporting a cocky grin and cracking his knuckles in intimidation. “I’m tired of playing with Y/n. She wins every time.”
Sirius laughs, hauling himself off the couch to sit beside you both before shuffling the cards.
.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.
“Y/n.” You startle at Remus’ voice, nearly spilling your cup of tea down your front. He sends you a soft smile, sitting beside you on the couch. You set your tea on the table next to you. Sitting up and shifting your legs to the side and underneath you, you make room for him. The way you were stretched out before hardly allowed him any room.
“Rem.” You greet him, sending him a gentle smile. The corners of his mouth lift at the nickname; he hasn’t heard it for a while.
He leans back against the couch, gaze firm on you, “How was your day?” His voice is gentle and soothing. His voice was always one of your favorite things about him, always a source of comfort to you.
“It’s been alright, not too much to say about it,” Your left shoulder lifts up into a shrug, and you rest your right arm against the couch to prop your head up. Bodies both facing each other. “How was yours?”
“James nearly singed off my eyebrows in potions,” He says amusedly. He’s got bags under his, and his body seems tired. You cringe when you remember the full moon was just a few days ago.
“Not entirely surprising,” You remark with a laugh, mind trailing to all the times James had proved himself not the best partner. As much as you loved James, his tendency to get distracted had cost you during classes plenty of times before. 
“How’s Adeline?” You ask politely, the words coming out with practiced ease despite the uncomfortable feeling in your stomach. Remus’s smile falters, and he lets out a sigh, gaze drifting away from you.
“I don’t know.” He admits, hand coming up to run through his hair. He won’t meet your eye.
“You don’t know?” Your brow is quirks in curiosity, and genuine concern is etched onto your features. Memories of Peter complaining about the two bickering flickers back from a week ago.
“She’s not happy,” Remus confesses, his tone is heavy with resignation. “Disappearing for a couple days doesn’t exactly make me boyfriend of the year.”
You nod sympathetically. You understand, if you were in the dark about your boyfriend’s whereabouts for a couple days, you would be upset as well.
“Are you going to tell her?” You asked gently. It felt weird to talk to Remus again after going nearly two months without much interaction. All your time used to be spent with Remus, but Sirius seems to have taken that spot nowadays.
His gaze meets yours as he nervously bites at his bottom lip, he seems apprehensive,“I don’t know if she could handle it.”
“Rem,” You begin, voice soft and resolute, a reflection of the support you have always offered him. Despite the change in your relationship, your commitment to being there for him remains. “She deserves to know, especially if the two of you want to be together.”
His brows are pinched tightly together as he wrings his hands together, “What if she doesn’t take it well? What if she tells-”
You interject gently, “You’ve been dating two months, you should have a feel for how she would react.” 
He meets your eye with an uncertainty, “Y/n.”
“Yeah?” You respond, voice quiet.
“I don’t know if I can tell her. I don’t think it will be as easy as telling you was.”
“You shouldn’t compare her to me.”
“But I do.” Remus whispers, the gravity of his admission catching you off guard. His shoulders are hunched over as he rests his elbows on his knees, hands still nervously wringing together as he looks over at you.
Your breath is caught in your throat. You break eye contact to clear your throat, shifting uneasily on the couch.
“Adeline is your girlfriend, and I’m just your friend. You really shouldn’t compare us, Rem. If you want to be with Adeline, you should really think about telling her.” You murmur, truth stinging as it leaves your mouth.
.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.
Marlene sighs, her voice laced with playful incredulity, "Sometimes I wonder how James Potter managed to get you." Sirius barks out a laugh from his spot across from you, his amusement echoing around the room. Lily's mischievous grin widens as she shoots a playful wink at Marlene, enjoying the banter.
"I'm a damn catch, McKinnon!" James retorts dramatically, pulling Lily even closer into his side, the affection between them palpable. Lily leans up to press a kiss on James’ jaw, a tender moment amidst the playful teasing.
"That lapdance you just gave your girlfriend? Horrific." Marlene shakes her head with exaggerated disdain, her expression a mix of amusement and mock disgust.
"If you didn't wanna see it, then you wouldn't have dared me to do it," James fires back with a smirk, the competitive edge still in his tone.
You're all gathered in a circle, indulging in a juvenile game of truth or dare. The boys took charge, rearranging the furniture into a circle so everyone could sit comfortably.
Marlene had insisted upon it, likely hoping to be roped into a dare that would bring her closer to Dorcas. 
You're seated on one of the couches beside Lily, with James on her other side and Peter beside him. Adeline occupies the space to Peter’s left, seated next to Remus on one of the smaller couches. Sirius has claimed an armchair for himself. Marlene and Dorcas are cozied up in another armchair, much to Marlene's delight over the seating arrangement.
While Remus had yet to tell Adeline about his lycanthropy, he was attempting to make amends with her. You sent him a sweet smile and thumbs up when you saw them walking in together. It was clearly tense between the two, but that was to be expected.
Amidst the laughter and playful exchanges, you had failed to notice the tension simmering between Sirius and Remus, evident in the disgruntled glances they exchanged at being seated next to each other.
James turns to you with a devious grin, “My sweet Y/n, you will be picking dare.”
“Excuse me? You can’t pick for me!” You retort, sending James an incredulous look.
“But I have the best dare for you!” James insists, leaning closer with a mischievous glint in his eye.
“No.” You refuse, shaking your head slightly.
“Y/n, please.” He pleads, attempting to send you puppy dog eyes. Marlene snorts from beside you.
Lily sighs, “Y/n, do the dare. He will beg you all night.” You roll your eyes, letting out a sigh that immediately lets James know you have given in.
“Kiss the person you are most attracted to in this room.” Your stomach sinks like a stone, regretting your lack of resistance to James. The group around you comes alive with oohs, except for Remus and Sirius, who sit uneasily, their expressions displaying discomfort.
“Absolutely not. I can’t!” Sirius feels sick. You’re refusing because you can’t kiss Remus- that has to be it. 
“Sorry, can’t back out now! Make your way over to the lucky guy.” James sounds far too cheery to be sorry.
The tension in the air becomes palpable as everyone awaits your decision. You draw in a deep breath, summoning your courage before rising to your feet and crossing the room toward him. The anticipation is almost tangible as your friends murmur excitedly, their eyes fixed on you.
You come to a sudden halt, feeling your knees bump against his as he instinctively sits straighter in his chair. Sensing your approach, he spreads his thighs slightly, silently inviting you to take the space between them. His demeanor shifts, a mix of anticipation and apprehension evident in his expression.
"Might make it easier if you sit in his lap." Marlene suggests with a mischievous grin, earning a pointed glare from you over your shoulder.
"You can, angel," he murmurs sweetly, reaching out to gently grasp your hand, his touch reassuring and electric. 
You let out a shaky sigh, feeling a rush of nerves as you ease yourself into his lap, your knees sinking into the cushion and your thighs naturally bracketing his. Ignoring the whistles and playful comments that ring out from your friends, you focus on the warmth of his body beneath you, the steady rhythm of his breath, and the way his hands hover uncertainly before settling lightly on your hips.
"We're waiting!" James calls out, amusement laced in his tone, his eyes sparkling with mischief. Feeling a rush of determination, you gently bring your hand to his cheek, the warmth of his skin sending a shiver down your spine and lowering your head towards his. He's quick to meet you, his breath mingling with yours, noses bumping softly in a moment of sweet anticipation.
He's patient, his breath mingling with yours as he waits for you to make the first move. With a tender touch, you tilt your face closer, feeling the gentle brush of your lips against his in the softest kiss. For a fleeting moment, you both linger there, foreheads pressed together, lost in the moment’s intimacy.
“Tell me this isn’t because you couldn’t kiss him.” His voice is raspy, filled with longing, sending your mind spiraling. His voice is quiet, ensuring that no one will hear him but you.
“You’re the only one I thought of.” You admit softly, hoping you don’t sound nearly as wrecked as you feel.
Sirius surges forward, his lips meeting yours with a passion that catches you off guard, causing a surprised moan to settle in your throat, lost in the whirlwind of sensations and emotions. Your friends' whistles and hollers fade into the background, overshadowed by the intensity of your focus on Sirius.
Your fingers weave through his hair, a silent plea to draw him closer, to merge the space between you. His hand glides from your hip, settling tenderly against your cheek, his thumb tracing gentle circles across your skin. When you roll your hips involuntarily, Sirius lets out a tortured groan and your blood simmers.
"Okay, okay! We've seen enough!" James hollers, his voice breaking you both out of the moment. As James's voice echoes through the air, you part from Sirius, the gravity of what you have both just done settles in. Your chests heave in unison, lips swollen from kisses and cheeks flushed.
Frozen, you and Sirius sit there, stunned, oblivious to the teasing of your friends. The air crackles with tension as you both lock gazes, the desire to lean in and kiss him again overwhelming you.
.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.
Your mind remains frazzled in the aftermath of kissing Sirius. No matter how much you attempt to push it away, it's as though your body stubbornly clings to the memory of his lips upon yours, as if you're still nestled in his lap, feeling the gentle pressure of his hands on your hips. Both of you exchanged shy smiles as you gently slid off his lap, yet inside, your stomach churned with disappointment at the prospect of returning to your previous seat. Truthfully, you wanted to linger longer, to settle beneath his arm, and remain close to him.
In all honesty, Remus didn't even flicker into your thoughts when James issued his dare. The realization of this truth sends a shiver down your spine. When had Sirius managed to steal the place in your thoughts that Remus had held for so long?
Perhaps it was in the way he had cared for you like no one else ever had.
The sight of a steaming cup of tea, reliably waiting for you in your designated spot at the table. Even when he could have been enjoying himself in Hogsmeade, he chose to stay behind and help you study, just because you mentioned not having Remus to study with. And the simple yet heartfelt gesture of presenting you with fresh tulips just because you mentioned you had never gotten flowers before.
How had you moved on from Remus without even noticing? Perhaps that subtle ache in your chest whenever you glanced at Remus and Adeline stemmed from the change in friendship between you both. Maybe those tear-filled initial weeks spent with Sirius comforting you were a form of grieving the relationship that could never be with Remus. 
While Sirius helped you to get over Remus, he had been gently guiding you toward developing feelings for him instead without even realizing it.
After watching your kiss with Sirius, Remus withdrew from the game entirely. The memory of your intimate moment with Sirius replayed incessantly in his mind, each repetition adding to the sting in his chest. In a fleeting moment of vulnerability, he had allowed himself to entertain the hope that it might have been him you chose to kiss. However, the presence of Adeline at his side swiftly extinguished that flicker of optimism, leaving him feeling profoundly disappointed and conflicted with himself.
The sight of Sirius enveloping you in his arms, and the undeniable chemistry between the two of you, stirred a thick feeling of dread in his stomach.
Each soft kiss, each exchanged glance, seemed to intensify the bitter pang of jealousy gnawing at his insides. It was as though a veil had been lifted, revealing a reality he had been trying to deny—the depth of his feelings for you. And the realization that he might lose you for good.
"Remus! Truth or dare?" Dorcas inquired, her eyes alight with mischief.
Remus let out a resigned sigh; he wasn't particularly in the mood to deal with a dare.
"Truth," he replied, hoping for a relatively simple question.
Dorcas wasted no time in posing her question, a soft smile playing on her lips. "Who was your first big crush?"
The simplicity of the question drew an immediate protest from James. "Lame!" he squawked, his tone dripping with dissatisfaction. "Ask him something better."
Marlene swiftly came to Dorcas's defense, her voice laced with defiance. "Back off, James," she retorted sharply. "She can ask whatever the hell she wants,” She bit out before turning to Dorcas. “Great question, love." Her words sounded entirely lovesick.
"Uh, my first big crush was Y/n." Remus confessed, his gaze darting toward you, eager to gauge your reaction amidst the tension. However, he failed to notice the subtle tensing of Adeline beside him, her expression morphing into one of disbelief as his words hung in the air.
Your brows furrowed, a mixture of confusion and frustration etched across your features as you processed Remus's unexpected admission. The weight of his words lingered, casting a palpable awkwardness over the group as you responded with an unimpressed look.
Sirius felt a surge of nausea rising within him, his gaze narrowing at Remus before anxiously darting over to you, waiting with bated breath to see how you would react to Remus's unexpected confession. Each second felt like an eternity as he searched for any sign of your thoughts or emotions, his heart pounding in his chest with a mixture of dread and anticipation.
As he watched your expression carefully, Sirius couldn't help but wonder what you were thinking. Were you filled with hope at his confession? Did you still want him?
“That’s not funny, Rem.” You retort, sending him an entirely unimpressed look.
“I’m not joking.” He insists, his voice has a hint of vulnerability in it. Adeline sends him an incredulous look, but his eyes are solely trained on you.
“That’s bullshit.” You countered, your voice laced with frustration as you pushed back. The tension between you and Remus was palpable, your friends watching both of you carefully. Unsure if they should intervene or not.
“It’s not. Started fourth year, I liked you for years.” Remus confesses, hand tugging through his hair in frustration.
“You said you would never have feelings for me.” Your brows are pinched in disbelief, your voice filled with hurt and frustration.
Remus looks entirely confused, “What are you talking about?”
“With Peter! At the party like a month ago.” You exclaim, memory fresh in your mind. While your feelings for Remus may have faded, the pain from his words hadn’t.
Remus shakes his head slowly, eyes searching yours for understanding, “I never said that, love.”
“You did. You told Peter, ‘I don’t think I could ever think about Y/n like that.’” You reiterated, your voice tinged with disappointment as Remus’s expression faltered, his own words echoing back to him.
“You didn’t hear the rest then.” He says, his voice filled with regret and desperation for you to understand.
Your frustration has bubbled to the surface, “Oh, great. So glad I didn’t stay to hear you continue about how awful it is that everyone thought we would end up together.” Your words are a mixture of sarcasm and hurt
"Y/n, I-" Remus began, his voice trailing off as you cut him off with a sharp interruption.
"Do you know what that feels like? To hear your best friend talk about you with so much disgust?" you demanded, the hurt evident in your voice as you confronted him head-on.
"I wasn’t disgusted!" Remus protested, his own frustration rising to meet yours. "You didn’t hear the rest!" he insisted, his tone tinged with desperation as he struggled to convey his side of the story.
"What else did you say?" It was Adeline who broke the tense silence, her voice cutting through the air like a knife. Remus's gaze shifted to her, startled by her sudden interjection. Her expression was one of disbelief, her brows furrowed and her arms crossed tightly over her chest, a silent testament to her own confusion and dismay at the unfolding situation.
"I said I didn’t think I could think about you like that because of-" Remus's voice faltered, his words hanging in the charged air. You leaned forward, your frustration palpable as you awaited his explanation, your gaze unwavering as you demanded clarity.
"Because of what, Remus?" You pressed, the tension thickening with each passing moment. Remus's eyes darted briefly to Sirius, a flicker of hesitation betraying his inner turmoil, but you caught the movement.
Sensing the rising tension, you glanced over at Sirius, who watches Remus with a tense look. His expression carried a silent message. Urging Remus to choose his words carefully.
“Don’t you fucking dare.” Sirius grits out, his voice laced with a raw edge of warning. Remus's uncertainty is evident as he grapples with what he’s just implied.
“Do you still have feelings for her?” Adeline's voice trembles with devastation as she poses the question, her heart laid bare in the vulnerability of the moment. Sirius's reaction is immediate; he stands up abruptly, his movements tense with unspoken frustration as he strides towards the stairs, refusing to linger for Remus's response.
“Sirius.” You call out desperately, rising to your feet swiftly to intercept him. He starts heading for his dorm, but you gently grab his wrist and guide him toward yours instead. Without a word, he follows your lead until you reach your door, both of you stepping inside quietly.
Sirius doesn’t utter a word, his silence filling the space between you as he leans back against your door. His head tilts upward, his gaze fixed on the ceiling as if searching for answers in its expanse. 
You step closer, closing the distance between you, your footsteps echoing softly in the quiet room. With a gentle touch, you place your hand on his cheek, a tender gesture designed to draw his attention back to you. You find yourself more preoccupied with Sirius than the recent events downstairs. Dealing with the situation involving Remus can wait; at this moment, your main concern is resolving things with Sirius.
He lets out a sigh, the weight of his emotions palpable as he drops his gaze from the ceiling to meet yours. "I'm sorry," he murmurs, his voice laced with a mixture of remorse and vulnerability.
You can't help but laugh incredulously at his apology, the sound carrying a blend of surprise and amusement. "What are you sorry for?" You inquire, your tone gentle yet tinged with curiosity, as you search his eyes for the answer.
He sighs, “That you found out this way.”
“About what?” You both know that you already know the answer but that you just want him to say it.
“About Remus’s feelings for you, about my feelings for you.” Sirius admits, his voice soft as he swallows harshly.
You take a deliberate step closer to him, closing the gap between you with a sense of purpose. "And what are your feelings for me?" you repeat, your tone carrying a playful lilt, a silent challenge lingering in your words, daring him to bare his heart to you.
"Y/n," he pleads softly, his hands instinctively finding their place on your hips, drawing you closer to him just an inch. “Remus pretty much spelled it out, didn’t he?”
"I don’t want to hear it from Remus, I want to hear it from you.” You assert, your voice tinged with determination as you press closer to him. His eyes flit down to the diminishing space between your bodies.
He sighs, a soft exhalation laden with unspoken emotions, “You drive me crazy.” He confesses, shaking his head in gentle disbelief. A grin spreads across your face, your heart lightening at the familiar banter between you.
"Yeah? Is that all?" you tease, a playful glint in your eyes as your arms rise to encircle his neck, drawing him closer.
His gaze softens, a hint of vulnerability shining through as he meets your eyes. "I’m crazy about you, have been since the moment I met you." He confesses, his voice filled with sincerity and warmth.
His words ignite a flutter of excitement in the pit of your stomach, a giddiness that bubbles up from within. Unable to contain the surge of emotions, you rise onto your toes, closing the gap between you as your lips meet his in a gentle kiss. He lets out a surprised hum, circling his arms around your waist and hauling you into him.
He pulls back slightly, resting his forehead on yours, his expression tinged with uncertainty, "Y/n,” He murmurs, his voice laced with apprehension, “I can’t do this if you still want Remus.”
You pull back slightly, creating a small space between you yet maintaining the intimacy of your connection as you gaze into his eyes. "Do you think I would have followed you if I still wanted Remus?" You inquire softly, your voice imbued with sincerity.
"I meant every word when I told you that you were the only one I thought of for James’ dare." You continue, your words carrying a gentle reassurance, seeking to dispel any lingering doubts or insecurities that may linger between you.
"I want you, Sirius." You whisper earnestly, your voice soft yet resolute, laying bare your desires and intentions as you seek clarity and connection with him.
The smile he gives you is radiant, brimming with unabridged happiness, illuminating his features with an undeniable warmth that reflects the depth of his emotions.
"I've been dreaming of you saying that for ages." You squeal with uncontainable delight as he dips down and scoops you up, your legs instinctively circling his waist. Together, you embark on a journey towards your bed, his steps sure and purposeful, each movement imbued with a sense of anticipation and excitement.
He settles onto the bed, seating you gently in his lap, and you can't help but giggle uncontrollably, the sound filling the room with infectious joy as you revel in the sheer exhilaration of the moment shared between you.
As you lean down and press your lips onto his, he exhales softly, as if shedding all his worries, finding true peace in the gentle brush of your lips against his. He's never encountered a feeling of rightness as profound as this throughout his life. He is completely done for.
.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.
Lily and Marlene didn't return to the dorm last night. After the awkward end to your game of truth or dare, you assumed they were giving you some space. And frankly, you were grateful for it. 
You weren't eager to delve into the topic of Remus confessing his past feelings for you. Although he didn't explicitly reveal whether or not those feelings still lingered, the reactions from both Adeline and Sirius served as a telling response.
You knew that a conversation with Remus was inevitable. Yet nervousness gnawed at you. What if there was no salvaging what remained of your friendship? Despite the awkwardness of the past few months, the desire to keep him in your life persisted, making the conversation all the more important.
The night unfolded with you and Sirius intertwined, lost in stolen kisses and hushed conversations within the dimly lit dorm. You had never felt so content in your whole life. Being with Sirius felt like a breath of fresh air. There were no lingering doubts about his feelings; his actions spoke volumes, leaving no room for uncertainty. Reflecting on the past, you couldn't help but wonder how you had ever been so blind to his affections.
“You almost ready m’love?” Sirius called, casting a glance your way as he deftly tied his tie in front of your mirror.
His endearment sent a flutter through your heart. It felt as though the kiss with Sirius last night had unleashed a torrent of emotions, flooding your senses with newfound intensity. It sent a thrill through your body, yet you felt somewhat disheartened as well. How had you managed to overlook Sirius for so long? He had been there all along, yet you found yourself pining over Remus, who had seemed indifferent to your feelings.
"Yeah, whenever you’re ready." You offered a soft smile as you slipped on your final shoe, steadying yourself with a gentle grip on the bedpost.
You stood up, making your way over to Sirius who met you halfway, placing his hands on your hips. You wrapped around your arms around his neck, pulling yourself closer to him. He smiled down as you, tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear before putting his hand back to your hip.
You rose to your full height, crossing the distance to Sirius, who advanced to meet you halfway, his hands finding their place on your hips. You encircled your arms around his neck, drawing yourself nearer to him. He smiled warmly down at you, delicately tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear before returning his hand to your hip.
"How do you want to go about this?" Sirius asked his brow furrowing with a hint of unease, his gaze searching yours for guidance.
Your brow pinched in confusion, "Go about what? Us?" For a brief moment, the idea crossed your mind – did Sirius want to go back to the way things were before? However, that thought evaporated as quickly as it appeared when you recalled the firmness of his embrace, the intensity in his gaze fixed upon you.
He nodded, his expression softening with concern. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I understand things might be tense with Remus, and I don’t want to make it harder for you."
"You know what I want?" Sirius tightened his embrace, prompting you to elaborate. "I want you to treat me like I’m yours, show everyone that we’re together. I couldn't care less about what anyone thinks." Both of you understood that anyone referred to Remus. Sirius remained silent, his gaze fixed on you, his expression indecipherable.
Your expression shifted to one of uncertainty, your brows furrowing slightly as you sought clarification. "We're together, right?" You asked, your voice tinged with a hint of vulnerability, searching his eyes for confirmation. 
Sirius's smile radiated such genuine warmth that a flutter of attraction danced in your stomach, “Yeah, baby. We’re together.” He couldn't fathom that he held you, his dream girl, in his arms, asking him if the two of you were together. It took him a moment to fully grasp the reality of the moment. 
He continued, “Don’t think that I’m not going to properly ask you to be mine, though, because I will. I promise.”
Unable to resist, you leaned in, capturing his lips with your own. Instantly, he responded, returning the kiss with equal fervor and intention.
With a reluctant sigh, you pulled away, your fingers lingering against his cheek as you whispered, "We need to get to breakfast."
"I think I can starve." Sirius shrugged nonchalantly, a mischievous glint dancing in his eyes as he leaned down to capture your lips once more.
You couldn't help but giggle, gently pushing him away, "Stop it, we gotta go. We’re going to be late." You insisted, a hint of laughter dancing in your voice as you playfully nudged him towards the door, the lingering taste of his kiss still tingling on your lips.
As you entered the common room, a wave of surprise washed over you at the sight of all your friends gathered, comfortably sprawled across the couches and armchairs. You slowed to a stop, catching Sirius off guard as he turned to follow your gaze, his eyes widening in surprise as they landed on the familiar faces of your friends.
"We wanted to make sure you two were okay after last night," Lily paused, her gaze piercing as she shot a pointed glare at Remus, who visibly shrank into the couch cushions. He appeared exhausted as if he hadn't slept all night, and you couldn't help but notice Adeline's absence beside him. 
"But it looks like everything is good?" Lily continued, her voice hopeful as her eyes dropped down to where your hand intertwined with Sirius'.
"Everything's fine," you affirm, offering a soft smile as Sirius squeezes your hand reassuringly. "But I need to talk to you, Rem. Alone.” You add, your tone gentle yet firm, conveying the importance of the coming conversation.
Sirius is the first to break the tense silence, shifting slightly while the others remain rooted in place, their eyes flitting between Remus and you. The atmosphere feels charged with unease, and you can sense the weight of Lily's unspoken words lingering in the air, knowing full well she gave Remus a piece of her mind the moment you left last night.
Before he can move away, you pull him back, your hand gently tugging him closer as you press your lips to his. A surprised sound escapes him before his hands come up to hold your cheeks. Remus clenches his jaw, unable to watch as you both melt into each other. 
James lets out a low, appreciative whistle, and Lily suppresses a smile behind her hand. Peter and Dorcas avert their gaze shyly while Marlene beams at the sight of Sirius melting into you. It's evident that they're all on Team Sirius.
As you both draw back, your gazes locked in mutual adoration, Sirius places another swift kiss on your lips. "I'll have your tea waiting for you," he promises softly.
A bright smile spreads across your face. "Thank you," you reply, your voice filled with warmth and gratitude.
As Sirius finally draws back, the others follow suit. James is already by his best friend's side, chatting animatedly. Lily and Marlene exchange knowing grins with you, silently promising a conversation later. Meanwhile, Peter and Dorcas trail behind, engaging in casual conversation as they meander along.
You sigh, bracing yourself for what promises to be an awkward conversation, and then take a seat beside Remus on the couch. The tension in the air is palpable, amplified by the near emptiness of the common room. Remus sits up straight, stealing a glance in your direction, his demeanor reflecting the unease of the moment.
“Are you okay?” Remus looks mildly surprised, that wasn’t the first thing he expected you to ask.
He clears his throat nervously, “Uh, I’ve been better, honestly. Are you?” 
He observes as you gracefully draw your legs onto the couch, tucking them underneath you. Finally, you meet his gaze, and he's momentarily taken aback by your beauty. A pang of regret hits him like a wave – he wishes he had confronted his feelings for you earlier. Perhaps then, it would have been him sharing kisses with you instead of watching you with his best mate.
"I'm good." Remus watches as you absentmindedly bring your fingers up to brush against your lips, a lovesick expression softening your features. You appear momentarily lost in thought, a dazed quality to your gaze. 
Clearing your throat, you shake off your thoughts, "But I'm disappointed about last night. What on hell was that?"
"Y/n," Remus's voice quivered with sincerity as he addressed you, his eyes reflecting the remorse weighing heavily upon him. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to upset you." He whispered, the words thick with sincerity.. 
You sighed, the weight of your frustration and disappointment lacing your tone, "And Adeline?" Remus looked startled. In the wake of you rushing to follow Sirius, Adeline had bravely broached the subject of his feelings towards you. Caught off guard, Remus found himself grappling for words, acutely aware of his friends' scrutinizing gazes, which bore a mixture of astonishment and disapproval. His hesitation was a silent confession to Adeline, who gathered her belongings swiftly, her departure punctuating the air with an unspoken disappointment. In the ensuing silence, Remus remained rooted, torn between pursuing you and granting you the space he sensed you needed. Regrettably, the thought of going after Adeline hadn't even crossed his mind amidst the dread sitting heavy in his stomach. Remus understood he had messed up, and the weight of his mistake hung heavy upon him.
“She left. I don’t blame her, I hurt her. Who gets a girlfriend when they have feelings for someone else?” A laugh escaped Remus, laden with incredulity. 
His words prompted you to avert your gaze, a subtle gesture betraying the unease settling in the pit of your stomach. The acknowledgment that his feelings for you still lingered left you with an odd feeling in the pit of your stomach.
Silence settles between you both, and it's excruciatingly awkward.
“I’m falling in love with Sirius,” You blurt out, nervously stealing a glance at him, eager to gauge his reaction. “I just, I need you to know that there’s no way anything could’ve happened between us. A couple months ago it would’ve been entirely different. But I was devastated, Rem. Do you know how hard it was for me to watch you be with Adeline? How much that hurt? And then you just admit you have feelings in front of everyone no less, like it wasn’t a big deal. In front of your girlfriend, who clearly cares so much about you. I don’t understand.”
"Dorcas asked—" He began, his voice sounded shaky.
"But you could've passed, or chosen to say another old crush's name!" Your interjection cut through the air, sharp and pointed.
"But there wasn't anyone else." He countered, his words tinged with a hint of desperation.
"Remus." His name hung in the air, heavy with frustration. You sent him with a glare heavy with irritation, and the intensity of your gaze churned a nauseating knot in his stomach.
"I was jealous, okay? To see Sirius hold you and kiss you like I have always wanted was awful. I couldn’t get you out of my head, and then Dorcas asked, and I just said your name."
"Godric, Rem!" You huffed, frustration coloring your tone. "If you had just told me months ago, we could’ve avoided this entire mess." Remus opened his mouth to speak, but you interjected, your words tumbling out with raw emotion. "But at the same time? I’m so grateful that you didn’t tell me, and that Sirius was there, because then I would’ve missed out on a guy who was never afraid to show me that I was his first choice.”
Remus remained silent, his gaze fixed intently on his intertwined fingers. You sat tense on the couch beside him, the air heavy with unresolved tension.
Remus’ eyes are filled with tears when he turns to you, “I know there’s no chance for us anymore, but Y/n, I don’t want to lose you as my best friend. Not having you around the last couple months have been hard. I miss you, and I understand if you’re not ready for that or don’t even want to be my friend. But Y/n, I will do anything to make this up to you.”
 You felt a lump form in your throat, a wave of emotions threatening to overwhelm you. With a harsh sigh, you turned to Remus, your gaze a mixture of hurt and determination.
"Our friendship won't be fixed right away," you admitted, the words weighted with the frustration that had been simmering beneath the surface. "I'm still frustrated with you." You confessed, your voice tinged with the raw honesty of your emotions.
“Y/n, I’ll do everything to make it up to you. I know everything won’t go back to the way it was, but I just want to be your friend.” His words carry genuine remorse, and you crack.
“Remus, come here.” You extended your arms toward him and Remus engulfs you in his embrace, his fervor nearly knocking you off balance.
You're both holding onto each other tightly, finding comfort in having each other back. A few tears escape your eyes, tracing silent paths down your cheeks as you find solace in the warmth of his embrace.
"I missed you too." You mumble softly into his chest, your words muffled by the fabric of his shirt.
.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.
The familiar ease you once shared with Remus doesn't return immediately, but both of you are committed to rebuilding your friendship, to rediscovering that ease and comfort your relationship used to provide. But the effort that is being made means the world to you. 
And so it begins with catching up on reading together. You sit beside Remus on the plush couch, matching copies of a book cradled in your hands as you both immerse yourselves in its pages. Nearby, Marlene and Lily are nestled by the crackling fire, engaged in animated conversation about Marlene's impending decision to finally ask Dorcas out. Peter lounges lazily in an armchair, a contented smile playing on his lips as he indulges in chocolates, his attention drifting between the gossip and the flickering flames.
Sirius's laughter rings out, drawing your gaze toward him like a magnet. You shift your focus to the common room entrance, where Sirius and James have just arrived, their hair still damp from their post-practice showers.
You sit up straighter, a subtle movement, that draws Remus's attention to you. Following your gaze, Remus's eyes shift in the direction of Sirius, who is in the midst of a hearty laugh spurred on by James's joke. However, as Sirius turns and locks eyes with you, his laughter fades into a tender smile, his expression melting into one of affection and adoration. James catches sight of Lily across the room and wastes no time in making his way over to her, his trademark mischievous grin already in place.
"James!" Lily cries out, her voice a mixture of exasperation and amusement, as she dodges away from the curly-headed boy who is shaking his dripping wet hair over her. Marlene's laughter fills the air, and Dorcas grins from beside her. Despite Lily's attempts to escape, James encircles his arms around her waist, drawing her back against his chest, his satifsfied grin matching her infectious laughter. 
“I can’t stand you, James Potter.” Lily sighs, leaning back against James and shaking her head disapprovingly.
Sirius laughs, watching Lily pretend to be annoyed with James, before settling into the seat beside you, a comfortable familiarity enveloping the space between you. When he leans in to press a gentle kiss against your lips, you instinctively lean into his touch, savoring the warmth of his affection. Remus's gaze momentarily drifts away, a subtle pang of jealousy tugging at his chest as he watches the way you lean into his best mate.
In truth, Remus found himself uncertain of his standing with Sirius. Him and Remus were limited in their interactions lately, both boys feeling tense around the other. Unbeknownst to you, Remus flinched involuntarily every time Sirius drew near to you, displaying his lingering feelings for you. Sirius, though not proud of it, found himself grappling with a twinge of possessiveness whenever Remus was close to you. 
Sirius pulled back slightly, a warm smile gracing his features as he met your gaze, "Hi, m'love." He murmured softly, his voice laced with affection and tenderness.
You couldn't help but return his grin, feeling a rush of warmth at his endearing greeting, "Hi." You replied, your voice filled with warmth and fondness, mirroring the affection reflected in his eyes.
"What are you doing tomorrow?" Sirius's voice broke the silence, his arm casually draping around your shoulder, drawing you into his side. Your book lay forgotten as his presence captivated your attention.
"Just some studying." You replied, the thought of books and lectures suddenly fading into insignificance.
Sirius leaned in closer, his lips grazing against your ear as he whispered, "I wanna take you somewhere tomorrow." The words stirred memories of a few months ago when you were seated on this very couch with him, grappling with the heartache of trying to move on from Remus.
"Will this be a date?" You asked, unable to contain the excitement bubbling in your voice.
"Yes, angel." Sirius replied, his words soft and tender as he pressed a gentle kiss to your temple. A radiant grin spread across your face as you reached for your book once more, the anticipation of the upcoming date dancing in your thoughts.
.·。.·゜✭·.·✫·゜·。.
Almost a week slips by before you and Sirius manage to carve out time for a long-awaited date. As Sirius leads you on a walk, your heart swells with emotion when you realize he's taking you to the tulip field. Despite the lingering chill in the air, the sight of the vibrant flowers and the sun's gentle rays reflecting off Black Lake fills you with warmth.
"You're such a romantic." You giggle, leaning into Sirius even more. He responds with a bashful smile, his cheeks tinged pink. You're not sure if it's from the cold or your teasing.
"I didn't know if it would be a good place for a date or not." He admits, his cheeks coloring with embarrassment. He had spent the last week agonizing over where to take you. When he ranted to Peter about it, Peter simply shrugged and suggested Hogsmeade. Sirius had scoffed, his tone teasing yet earnest, telling him he better step it up if he wanted to impress a girl.
"Sirius, this is the cutest spot for a date. Plus, it has meaning to us." You tell him sincerely, and Sirius feels his heart flutter at the term us. He wonders if he'll ever get over the fact that he has his dream girl in his arms, looking at him the same way he looks at you.
As you draw closer, the perfumed air carries the unmistakable scent of spring, and the gentle buzzing of bumblebees near the flowers fills your ears. The sounds evoke a sense of nostalgia, transporting you back to your childhood days spent playing in the garden.
"Merlin, I was so stressed about it. I've never planned a date before. I mean, I've gone on dates, but I've never felt this determined to impress someone as much as I have with you," he sighs as if releasing all of his pent-up stress. "I even asked Peter where I should take you."
"Did you? Well, I think this is perfect." You grin, withdrawing your hand from his to lay out the blanket. The thought of crushing tulips under the blanket makes you cringe, so you search for a barren patch to place it over. With care, you shake out the blanket, letting it flutter gracefully before plopping onto it.
Leaning back on your palms, you watch Sirius, who remains standing where you left him, your copy of Pride and Prejudice in his hands. A soft smile graces his lips as he gazes at you as if you're everything he's ever dreamed of.
"Are you going to join me or just stare?" You question, patting the spot next to you invitingly.
"I quite like staring at you." He grins, sending you his famous smile. 
He sits down next to you before laying back and allowing the sun to settle on his skin. The warmth of the rays feels comforting, especially after the last couple of days filled with rain. The melodic songs of birds in the surrounding trees and the sound of your gentle movements create a soothing ambiance, putting him at ease.
You shift, settling onto your back, your eyes tracing the patterns of the soft clouds as they leisurely drift across the vast expanse of the sky. The birds' playful chirps and flutters among the trees add to the serene atmosphere. Sirius follows suit, adjusting his position to face you. As he watches you, he's captivated by the delicate play of sunlight on your features, accentuated by the colorful tulips that bloom around you, adding a vibrant backdrop to the tranquil scene.
He can hardly believe that he's lying next to the girl of his dreams, the one he's thought of for years, yearning for even a moment of her attention. Memories flood back countless times when he watched you with Remus from afar, consumed by jealousy for the time Remus got to spend with you. He would have given anything for just a few minutes alone with you to share a moment that belonged solely to the two of you.
"I talked to Remus earlier today." You remark, his nose crinkling slightly with an involuntary pang of jealousy at the mention of his friend's name. It's become almost instinctual by now. 
"He apologized to Adeline," You start, your expression thoughtful. "He mentioned it started off rough, but in the end, she forgave him, and they wished each other the best."
He hums, “That’s good.”
You giggle, “That’s all?”
Sirius hums softly, propping himself up on his elbow as he gazes down at you. "I'm glad they've found that closure," he murmurs, his tone laced with a hint of distraction.
Feeling his unwavering focus, you gently divert your attention from the sky to meet his gaze. His eyes are locked onto yours with such intensity that it causes a flutter in your chest, leaving your breath caught in your throat. 
He lifts his hands, delicately brushing his thumb against your bottom lip. A small, involuntary sound escapes you, and Sirius responds with a devastating smile, a hint of playfulness dancing in his eyes.
"I don't want to talk about anyone else but us." He whispers, his voice filled with sincerity. His gaze softens as his fingers trace gently across your cheeks, his hand coming to rest on your face, his thumb tenderly brushing against your jawline.
"What about us in particular?" You inquire, the words escaping in a breathless whisper. Your heart quickens its pace, a rhythmic drumming echoing the intensity of the moment, a sensation that always accompanies Sirius's proximity. The air feels charged with anticipation, every nerve tingling with the electricity of his presence.
"I can't get enough of you," he confesses, leaning in to press a soft kiss against your cheek. "How you never leave my mind," he adds, tenderly planting a kiss on your other cheek.
"How you make my heart flip every time I look at you." His lips brush against your forehead before he leans down to rest his against yours. Your eyes flutter closed at his proximity, your body nearly buzzing from the giddiness and anticipation coursing through your veins.
"How my heart is entirely yours." His voice trembles slightly, revealing the depth of his emotions as he utters those heartfelt words, “And that I am hopelessly in love with you.”
Your eyes widen, catching his apprehensive gaze, his nerves evident as he awaits your reaction to his confession Without hesitation, you thread your fingers through his hair and gently pull him down to you, closing the distance between your lips and his in a sweet, affirming kiss.
Sirius lets out a moan, his thumb continuing to brush over your cheek as he deepens the kiss. The warmth of his lips against yours is accompanied by a gentle exploration, each movement conveying a depth of emotion and desire that leaves you breathless. The air is charged with an electric intensity, and in that moment, it feels like time stands still, allowing you to savor the overwhelming connection and longing between you.
You pull away just slightly, your voice trembling with emotion as you gaze into his eyes. In the hushed intimacy of the moment, surrounded by the soft rustle of leaves and the distant chirping of birds, you utter those three profound words, "I am so in love with you. "
Sirius lets out a disbelieving laugh, his smile widening as euphoria bubbles within him. Without hesitation, he leans in, his lips meeting yours in a fervent and intense kiss that elicits a desperate moan from your lips. You've never experienced a kiss like this before, filled with such raw passion that it feels like every nerve in your body is set ablaze as if you could melt into him right there and then.
"Please be mine." Sirius pleads, his voice laced with longing and vulnerability against your lips. 
A tender smile graces your lips as you respond, your voice soft and filled with affection, "I'm already yours."
While nestled in the field of tulips, Sirius confesses to you that the very first tulip he gifted you was, in fact, a declaration of his love.
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647 notes · View notes
fbfh · 10 months
Text
Sweet Pea x soft!reader hcs
wc: 1.3k
genre: mutual pining, tooth rotting fluff
pairing: sweet pea x soft reader
warnings: reader is implied to be smaller than sweet pea but he's like 6'3 and beefy so it's not too out of the question, reader is called clingy needs attention and hates being alone by jughead but sweet pea LOVES that about you, size difference, protective sweet pea, sweet pea is a rottweiler boyfriend, kisses and cuddles, mentions of fighting and gang activity
song recs: fight for me - heathers obc, big boy - sza
a/n: been watching the anime my love story and it's feuling my sweet pea obsession lol. I've also decided that while horribly bad, riverdale is camp. If I convince myself it's camp I can drag myself through it. It's supposed to be bad and make no sense and of course there's a "goblin king" running around town causing problems because it's camp.
tags: @yesv01 @magcon7280
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Okay so like I said in my initial drabble
When Sweet Pea first sees you he deadass thinks you’re an angel
You are so sweet and soft and perfect
The only way to describe you is angelic
He’s so wrapped up in how alluring and enamoring you are that he doesn’t notice you’re just as drawn to him
You immediately see past his gorgeous and intimidating exterior to the soft great big heart inside him
You see all his good traits and you’re not scared off that he’s a little rough around the edges
But Sweet Pea sees that you’re not rough around the edges
And he doesn’t want you to become that way
Especially not because of him
He feels so protective over you from day one
Even though he’s fighting his obvious feelings for you and ignoring your obvious feelings for him, he still tries to look out for you
Keeps an eye on you a little, just to make sure no one’s giving you any trouble
You’re friends with Betty so you’re sort of tied to the serpents already, but he doesn’t want to drag you any deeper into gang life than you already are
So he tries not to fall any harder for you than he already has
Even though Jughead is always bringing you up, telling him that Betty says you’ve been asking after him
He can’t even process that Jughead just said you’ve been asking after him and about him a lot because of how Jughead keeps describing you
He says you’re sort of clingy and need a lot of attention, that you get nervous in crowds and you’re really touchy and hate being alone 
That’s why your last boyfriend broke up with you
But the more Jughead talks about you and your apparent flaws, the more perfect you sound to Sweet Pea
You’re exactly what he’s been dreaming of
Someone he can go all in with, someone who wants him and needs him as much as he wants you and needs you
Which is obviously a lot
And now it’s getting harder and harder to listen to that logical voice that tells him he’s no good for you, that you deserve someone from northside who can take good care of you and not drag you into any more chaos than you’re already surrounded by 
But you’ve been writing his name in your diary over and over for weeks now, and it’s really just a matter of time before you end up together 
All your friends know this
Betty and Jughead and Toni know this
Even Fangs knows this
Everyone knows but you and Sweet Pea
You both still think it’s an unreciprocated pipe dream
Something to imagine scenarios about before you fall asleep
You’re more alike than you realize 
But soon you find your way to each other
You just can’t stay away anymore
And once you’re together, once you’re finally in his arms, neither of you ever want to let go
Sweet Pea is an amazing boyfriend to begin with
But especially when it comes to someone as soft and sweet and precious as you?????
He’s literally the best person you could ever hope for
He’s a classic rottweiler boyfriend 
AND he’s a gang boyfriend
Plus Sweet Pea’s just naturally a very protective person to the people he loves
So you can guarantee you’ll be safe with him
He won’t hesitate to stare down anyone he thinks looks at you too long
But he’s not going to start shit with you around unless he has to
If he does need to fight someone, he’s going to make sure you’re not there to see it
Even if he has to ask Betty or Veronica or Fangs to drag you into the other room and stay with you until it’s over
He doesn’t want you to see him like that
But he knows how to hold his own, and Fangs and Toni both reassure you there’s not a fight he hasn’t been able to walk away from
You’re always there to patch him up afterwards too
You touch him so gently
With more love and care and tenderness than he’s ever gotten from anyone before
It makes it kind of impossible to regret sticking up for you
Even if he did walk away with some nasty scratches and a black eye
You’re still not scared of him
You don’t judge him
Like at all
He always makes you feel so safe around him 
All he’s wanted for a while is someone to go all in with
Someone to protect, someone to take care of
Someone who needs him
And you do 
You spend more and more nights together before finally confessing that you can’t really sleep without him anymore
When I tell you his heart explodes when you say that?????
God as if you couldn’t get him wrapped even tighter around your finger
Surprise! Yes you can
He dips you a lot too
Mostly because he’s so tall and it’s so easy and it makes you so nervous when he pulls you close and leans over you like that
It makes you all dizzy and he talks so close to your face for a few moments before finally kissing you
GOD it makes your head spin
You can’t get enough
And he can’t get enough of the way you look up at him all soft and sweet
Like you’re not scared of him
Which you’re not
It’s still kind of new for him
But it’s something he really hopes he can get used to
He’s touchy too
He pulls you into his lap and rests his head on your shoulder a lot
Or wraps his arms around yours
Don’t even get me started on holding his big old hands with both of yours
It makes his stomach flip every single time
And SO MANY FOREHEAD KISSES
You kiss his neck and jaw a lot too
Mostly because it’s all you can reach half the time
And because you know it drives him completely crazy
If you ever worried about getting unwanted attention from guys, you don’t have to anymore
EVERYBODY knows you’re Sweet Pea’s 
And EVERYBODY knows not to fuck with him
Sweet Pea can be fucking terrifying when he wants to
Which makes things like him pinning you to the couch and tickling you until you tap out and you’re both blushing giggly wrecks even cuter  
You completely and totally have scary boyfriend privileges 
And you take such good care of him too
He really doesn’t think he’s ever been this happy and content and at peace
His friends can easily attest to the fact that they’ve never seen him this happy either
And your friends have never seen you this happy too 
Over all, you’re really just a fantastic match
You become the emotional support couple of riverdale high so fast
People get used to seeing him walk you to classes he doesn’t even have 
Seeing you ride around town on the back of his motorcycle together 
Because you belong together
You really do
Sweet Pea might not know what the future is going to look like
He might not know what’s going to happen tomorrow
But the only thing he does know about his future is that you’re going to be in it
And he’s going to be in yours
You’re starting to make him dream about a soft domestic life away from gangs and murder and conspiracies
He doesn’t know if that’s practical or attainable, but he hopes it is
Until then, he’s more than happy just getting to be around you
Getting to see you all the time and wake up next to each other on the weekends
He loves loving you, he loves keeping you safe and happy
Just like you love him and keep him happier than he’s ever been
Just being with you is more than enough
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writing-in-the-impala · 3 months
Text
Secret Smokes (Part 11)
Pairing: Teacher! Remus Lupin x Reader
Series Summary: When the reader bumps into the new DADA professor on the bridge in Hogwarts she begins to build a friendship with him all thanks to their shared feeling of not belonging and love for muggle cigarettes. Their friendship blooms while they both fight internal battles deciding what is wrong and what is right leading to a lot of fluff, angst, flirting and a rollercoaster of emotions.
Warnings: Swearing, smoking, drinking, teacher-student relationship, angst, jealousy, fluff, smut.
Word Count: 4495
A/N: Yes I did drop off the face of the earth for a bit but can I make it up to you with an extra long chapter?
 | SERIES MASTER LIST (All chapters) |
Previous Chapter, Part 11, Next Chapter
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Your fight was the last time you saw Remus Lupin that week, the next lesson you had with Lupin was taken over by Snape, even your tutoring was now with McGonagall. Lupin returned on Friday evening, you saw him in the great hall during dinner, and that's when you received an owl from him which was rare during dinner. He didn't pay you any attention, so you decided to take the letter to the lake and read it by yourself so no one could interrupt you and he couldn't watch or analyse you open it. You sat down by the water and opened it.
"My dearest, Y/N,
Oh how I've fucked up, in life constantly but with you in more ways than one. I don't know how to express my words in person I've never been good at words when it came to the important things like people. This is version five of this letter.
I traveled home after Monday. I couldn't bare to look at that desk, I couldn't go to Sirius as his home will forever smell like the first time I kissed you. When I arrived I found your letters, they made me realise you left to protect us from ending up in this very situation, I thought it was from fear of getting told off for being home late but really you knew that Percy was looking for clues. Unfortunately his letter found me first and convinced me to push you away, that I was risking too much by risking your schooling, I don't care about my career, what's life if you only live for a job but I don't want to mess up your future. I take my job very seriously but life is  more important.
You were right when you said I'm scared of having something good, however you were wrong when you said you were convenient. You're far from it. I might be lonely but that's not why I'm drawn to you, I'm drawn to your wit, I'm drawn to your smile and I'm drawn to your world. If we could spend forever sitting on my sofa listening to music and talking I would die a happy man.
I don't know what my feelings for you are but they are strong and they scare me, you're much more important to me than anyone else I know and I fear to admit it. New Year's Eve I messed up, if we were ever going to kiss I wanted it to be after a date where I show you how you're meant to be loved and offer you the world not drunk on the steps of my best friends house.
I don't know how you feel about me and if I hurt you too much, if that's the case I am terribly sorry I wish I could make it right. If an inch of you still thinks I'm a decent man I have two offers for you.
A. If you want to remain friends and go back to last year's rules "no dear, no alcohol and no kissing" meet me tomorrow evening in my office for tea and tunes, or let me know in your own way
B: If you are up for an adventure my dear and willing to see what happens if we risk it and you still feel any attraction after my poor behaviour: Meet me tomorrow morning at 9am in Hogsmeade, next to the three broomsticks.
C: if you simply hate me like you said (at least 4 times using my full name I'm glad you don't know my middle name) all I ask is show up to my lessons, we can arrange another teacher to take over you 1-on-1 schooling but please show up. I promise to pretend I don't think you're the most amazing witch and woman I've ever met. Please don't let me ruin your exams or future.
Yours, Remus John Lupin.
P.S. To answer the question in your original letters from the 1st of January keep my sweater, it will simply be a painful memory if you choose C and I like the way it looks on you if you choose B ."
You felt a mixture of excitement and relief with his letter, it felt like everything has magically explained itself. Remus was an anxious writer with a tendency to sabotage his own happiness but he was trying. He was trying for you.
The next morning you woke up early to get ready to see Remus, you didn't know what to expect but you were excited. You arrived in Hogsmeade early knowing Remus as someone extremely punctual you were shocked to find Remus wasn't there. You waited until 9:05 but nothing, so you began to walk back at towards the castle. "Wait!" Remus said and you turned around to see him holding two cups of coffee, one of which had obviously slightly spilled on him. "It's with milk!" He said holding a coffee forward towards you.
"Thank you." You said grabbing it.
"I'm glad you came." He said softly.
"I'm glad you sent that letter." You replied. "You have coffee on your sweater." You pointed out reaching in your pocket for a tissue.
"I didn't think through apparating with two cups of coffee.' He admitted with a shy smile as you dabbed his jumper dry. "Thank you dear." He continued softly.
"Are you ready to go?" He asked.
"Where?"
"London, grab my hand and hold your coffee tight." He said reaching out a hand and you took hold of it and you appeared in Holborn, London.
"I thought that wasn't possible in Hogwarts." You admitted.
"That's why we met in Hogsmeade dear, sorry about being late, there was a queue." He admitted showing you the coffee.
"I thought you may have changed your mind." You admitted.
"I was scared you wouldn't come." He admitted.
"Liar you got two cups of coffee." You pointed out.
"I had a feeling you'd show up, now dear, see today as my way of apologising to you. I have a small plan but if you want to do anything just tell me." He said and at that moment you turned the corner to the British Museum. "Have you been here before?" He asked.
"Maybe once or twice as a kid."
"Okay but have you ever had a magic tour of this place?" He questioned and you shook your head. "Great." Remus led you into the British museum, he looked quite excited and more young now than ever. "Now not everyone knows that many treasures in this building are actually artefacts from great magicians."
"So they stole from wizards too?" You asked and Remus laughed.
"They sure did, now not many people know how some of these great people used magic to help muggles and how some of this stuff is either cursed or enchanted." Remus continued as you walked through the beautiful foyer.
"But I'm sure you do." You said teasing him and he nodded.
"I'm not just a pretty face, unlike you I spent a lot of time in libraries."
"Are you saying I don't study? I spend a lot of time in my professors office."
"You spend a lot of time listening to music and distracting me while I try to mark work, dear." He shot back and you laughed. "Now as I was saying, I may not be a rich man or have much to offer but I have a lot of knowledge."
"You should be a teacher." You said with a wink.
"You should be a comedian. Now enough talking watch this." He said and then one of the Egyptian statues moved and stood up.
"Holy shit, are you allowed to do that?" You asked looking around.
"Don't worry no one will notice." He said
"What was that?" You asked.
"It's a Pharos tomb guard, they're enchanted to stand when an attacker approaches, they have a lot of ancient magic in here."
"So why didn't they do that when they were removed from the tomb?" You asked as you and Remus continued to walk and look at the different statues.
"They did, they did for a very long time, however when dark wizards realised there's money in helping archaeologists they helped lift curses or limit enchanted objects. Those guards were stopped from being the soldiers they were, the only thing left is the command to stand when you summon them." Remus explained, you were impressed by his knowledge. You walked through  the ancient Egyptian part for another few minutes before Remus took hold of your hand and hurried you to the Ancient Greek part. "This bits my favourite, sorry is it okay if I do that?" He asked gesturing to your hand.
"It's encouraged." You blushed.
"Tell me when I cross a line Y/N, we still need to talk about us but first I want to hold my part of the deal, showing you who I actually am."
"And who are you profesor?"
"A lonely bookworm with a furry problem and a teaching job to pay the bills."
"Don't forget the cottage." You winked making him laugh.
"Now these are the Parthenon marbles, the Parthenon was being used as a base to store ammunition by the Ottomans and some idiot messed up and blew up the whole thing."
"Some idiot is that the technical term profesor?" You poked him in the arm and he rolled his eyes. You found him very attractive when he was more casually dressed, with his jacket drooped over his arms and a warm sweater on.
"It is now." He replied. "Long story short some guy named Lord Elgin went to Greece and asked the Ottomans can I have this? And they said sure and he took it, as lords usually do. It's missing a lot of parts as they're back where they belong but a small part of me feels lucky to have them here as they tell a story. You see if you come over here you'll see the Centaur." He led you over to the far wall. "He tells a story of the battle between Centaurs and Lapiths at the marriage feast of Peirithoos. And if you do this even with it's missing parts you get to watch it." He lifted his wand and the marble moved. It began plaything the story throughout the panels as if they were alive just like the paintings in Hogwarts. "And if you think that is cool look behind you." You turned around and the main sculptures were all moving, they were missing parts but they felt human.
"That's incredible, show me more." You expressed with a big smile and Remus couldn't help but smile back. "Come on." He said putting one arm around you while his other arm still had his jacket drooped over it. And like that, he led you through the museum holding your waist and making your heart flutter at his actions and brain amazed at the world of knowledge he was sharing with you.
It was one of the few times you saw Remus truly happy as he immersed himself in history. It was beautiful to see him care free not putting himself down, not talking about his condition just being himself. As you walked out the museum hours later he still had a hand around your waist. "Now dear what would you like to do?"
"Should we go get some food?"
"What a wonderful idea, there's a great pub not too far from here, only thing I need to get some cash out as I'm low on muggle money." He explained.
"I can pay."
"I'm sure you can but you won't I'm taking you out on a date it's my treat." He said as he rushed in front of you to the cash machine. "Okay" he said looking at it. "Okay, okay." He continued looking for where to insert his card. "Just a moment." He said after inserting it and just starring at all the options on the screen. "Merlin." He whispered quietly while pressing random buttons.
"You do know how to use it?" You asked suggestively.
"Of course I do." He said but he was obviously struggling.
"Here let me help you." You stood alongside him pressing the buttons for him. "How much do you want to withdraw?"
"£20?" He said hesitantly.
"£20?" You confirmed.
"£50."
"£50 are you sure?" You asked in disbelief.
"I'm not good with this, I haven't been in a muggle pub in forever I don't know the prices these days. I'm sorry, get however much you think it'll cost for us to have food. This is so embarrassing." He admitted.
"£50 it is, Remus the muggle world is my world it's okay to ask for help, I literally didn't know you could aparate in Hogsmeade." You calmed him while you finished the transaction.
"Yeah that was silly, everyone knows-"
"You don't know how to use a cash machine Remus!" You interrupted.
"I'll shut up. Now off to the pub, thank you for your help." He took your hand and lead the way. The pub was quite busy but you expected it as it was lunchtime on a Saturday. It was nice to sit opposite Remus having a meal, flirting, chatting and being yourselves. You didn't feel anxious like you did sometimes on dates, you felt like you were hanging out with a friend that you had a crush on, he would make you blush a lot with his words but he was also clumsy and stumbled a lot, something you never saw in him at Hogwarts. He ordered fish and chips and knocked over the sauces with his hand, when he went to pick them up, he hit his head on the edge of the table, you found it all cute and amusing but he was obviously embarrassed. "Am I making you slowly think I'm an idiot?" He asked after the incident and you simply replied with. "Only a little bit, makes you less intimidating."
"Am I intimidating?" He asked.
"Not at all." You said and he shook his head while laughing. After you ate you decided to take a walk along the river at first you began to talk about meaningless stuff like how you missed the Christmas lights or how Remus enjoyed the fact you can find oyster shells and old pipes on the rivers edge from the Victorian era. However the conversation changed when Remus asked. "What do you see us as?"
"I don't know." You admitted a bit of anxiety started to grow inside you.
"I don't know either, but I think we need to set some ground rules."
"What do you suggest?"
"Defining what's okay, like for example I think if either of us is developing strong feelings like love for the other we should cut it off as we don't want to hurt each other and with our current position we can't be in a relationship and be student and teacher." He said his eyes moving all over the place but avoiding you and he used his hands to emphasise what he was saying.
"How come?"
"Well for starters we can't do this all the time, if I was in love I would like to offer that person all my love, I would like to take them on dates, I would like to walk around and hold their hand, I would like to bring them to see my friends and so on... we can't do that, it will hurt to love someone but not be able to live in public, I don't want to risk the pain for either of us." He explained and you nodded.
"So what can we do?"
"What do you want to do?"
"I want to continue to relax in your office with you." You began and he nodded. "I want to be able to kiss you, I want to be myself with you, I want to smoke on the bridge with you and when no one is watching I want to be held by you."
"And we can do that we can just not love each other, and give each other a relationship that's the line."
"So we can see other people?" You questioned him and he looked puzzled.
"I would prefer not, I can't stop you but I may not feel comfortable with sleeping with you if you're kissing other men." He admitted.
"I'd prefer if you weren't kissing anyone else either... Can we do this sometimes?"
"Of course dear, however not as much as either of us would like to, maybe once a month or every so often not to raise suspicions."
"But I can come see you in your office every night?"
"My door is always open for you dear."
"Can I sleep in your office?"
"Where on the desk?" He remarked in a snarky way.
"Is that where you want to fuck me?" You matched his energy y.
"Well it's not for sleeping." He winked and the grabbed your hand."Enough serious conversations, let's just live a little before we have to worry about rules. Today, exists in a world of its own, what do you want to do?" He asked with a cheery tone.
"I mean checking out that desk sounds fun but maybe before that we should enjoy London."
"I'm already enjoying it right here." Remus said stopping and pulling you in closer, putting his arms around your waist. "I think I like London." He said looking at your lips.
"Oh really." You stood on your toes to get closer to him and he leaned down and kissed you lightly.
"Alright let's go I have an idea." He said once again grabbing your hand and leading the way. You walked into a small cosy record shop. You both started looking through the shelves showing each other records you thought the other would life and either replying with a "yes" or "not my style" once the yes like became tall enough you walked over to the record played and started listening to them, there was only one pair of headphones so you had to share, bringing in your heads close as you listened to the music. "Oh listen to that trumpet." You said listening to a Chet Baker vinyl. "Do you like it?"  Remus asked and you nodded. "This is one of my favourite songs, the earnest vocals, I fall in love too terribly fast, for it to ever last..." you began to sing along to the song and Remus smiled warmly at you, he couldn't help but kiss you on the cheek. "Let's buy it." He said.
"What Remus it's quite expensive?"
"That doesn't matter today dear." He said putting it back in the vinyl sleeve and taking it to the till. "Besides there's nothing more I want to do than lay in bed with you and listen to this here vinyl." He said while paying for the vinyl, he thanked the cashier a grumpy old man who didn't seem to care about your conversation. You continued to walk through London for a bit longer but it started to get colder and you both decided it was time to head home. "Okay, we need to aparate back separately as it may be busy with people at this time." He began. "You'll go first and I'll follow, I don't want to leave you alone back here, I'm sure you'll be okay but I don't want the stress." You nodded in reply. "Okay dear, once you are back it would be a good idea for you to go to your dorm or walk around somewhere far from my office, and in about thirty minutes from now come to my office and we can continue this evening." You nodded in reply and that's when he gave you a quick kiss on the lips. "I'll see you soon my dear." He said and you left. As you walked back to Hogwarts all the emotions rushed in, the excitement, the love you felt but shouldn't, the confusion from the conversation about not falling in love. You felt very overwhelmed but you also felt so many positive emotions that you couldn't wait to go visit Remus in his office. It was weird not being able to travel back with him after you were able to spent so long acting like a couple but it made sense you just wished it could be different. You walked back to your dorm room where Percy was sitting on the chair. "Hi Y/N." He said as he saw you coming in, you didn't reply. "Still giving me the silent treatment? You know I haven't done anything wrong all I wanted to do is spend time with my friend." He continued as you walked away.
"Our dear brother causing you trouble?" Fred asked as you walked past him.
"I'm going to hex him." You replied as your turned to the girls chambers.
"Be our guest." George said before you went into your chambers. It was good that Percy saw you, helps avoid his suspicions. You waited the thirty minutes before heading straight to Lupins office, just in case you checked if Percy followed you but he didn't so you were in the clear to go meet Remus. You walked through the corridors with a hint of excitement as you approached his office, you knocked on the door and Remus opened it almost immediately. "Hey you." He said with a smile letting you in and checking behind you if anyone was in the corridor, he closed the door and turned the lock before leading the way upstairs to his office where he also locked the door after you came in. "Hungry?" He asked as you sat down on the sofa.
"More peckish."
"Perfect, I have some cheeses here and some bread."
"How fancy." You pointed out looking at the small charcuterie board he prepared.
"Only the best for you." He said as he sat down beside you, a record he already had playing way playing in the background as you both sat their indulging into the different flavours. "Thank you for joining me today." Remus suddenly changed the subject.
"Thank you for showing me everything, and for the food and the vinyls, everything." You said a bit overwhelmed by his generosity.
"Come here." He gestured for you to come in closer, you lay on the sofa with your head on his crotch and he stroked your head lovingly, slowly playing with you hair. "I love how soft you hair is." He pointed out as he continued to stoke your hair. A few minutes later the vinyl playing finished and Remus gestured for you to sit up so he could change the music. "How about we try this one out dear." He said pulling out the new Chet Baker vinyl and your heart warmed. "Anything to drink? I've got a nice bottle of wine I've been thinking about opening."
"That sounds great."
"The music or the wine?" He clarified.
"Both."
"White or red dear?" He asked while opening a cabinet.
"What do you prefer? Maybe red?"
"Red it is." He pulled the bottle out and began to open it placing two glasses on the table in front of you and filling them up. "To wonderful day." He said raising his glass as he sat down. You rested your head against his shoulder as you sat in comfortable silence.
"You know moony, I prefer this when we're allowed to cuddle on the sofa and kiss sometimes." You broke the silence.
"Me too dear." He bought his hand up to your cheek and pecked your lips slightly before going back to the resting position. "I craved this every time you sat here and I sat at my desk aching to kiss you." He admitted. This was peace, you were in your safe place.
"Are you aching to kiss me now?" You asked quietly.
"Always." He whispered into your ear placing his glass down on the small table in front of you and then taking yours to do the same for you. He leaned in to kiss you, as the kiss depended you ended up laying on the sofa. He was above you his lips and your lips colliding as you both struggled to catch a breath. You felt him getting hard as he slowly moved his body up and down over you, you reached up for his shirt unbuttoning it and pushing it off his shoulders. "You're not wasting any time." He said between the kisses. His arms moved under your ass and he scooped you up in one movement so you were now straddling him, he pulled your shirt up and unclasped your bra as you began to grind on him making him harder and harder. He pulled away from your lips to suck on your nipples, the sensation made you moan in reply he grabbed your hair and pulled it down roughly making your head tilt back as he continued to worship your body. "Let's take this somewhere more comfortable." He said lifting you up and carrying you.
"You don't want to do it on your sofa?" You asked curiously.
"Oh I do, and my desk and every wall however today I will show you how you're meant to be loved not fucked." He said while pushing the door to his bedroom open and throwing you down on his bed. He unbuttoned your trousers and pulled them off along with your underwear, getting down on his knees and kissing your legs all the way up to your pussy. His hand reached up to your breasts where he started massaging them as his tongue flicked your clit making you moan. As he continued this movement with his tongue he moved his hand to slowly slip his fingers inside you pulling in and out while starting to alternate between sucking and licking. "Merlin you're either so wet or I'm drooling like a dog over how good you taste." He went straight back in and continued until you started begging for him as you felt yourself getting close. "Beg for me again." He growled as he moved to be just above you.
"Please." You barely whispered and he smashed his lips into yours, unbuckling his own trousers and taking them off while still keeping his lips on yours. You felt him thrust inside you leaving time for you to adjust, even though you remembered his size it shocked you how deep he filled you. "Are you okay dear?" He whispered checking in on you. "Mmhm." You confirm and he picked up the speed. He kissed you while going faster and started to slowly move his kisses down to your neck and breasts. You felt yourself get close as he ramped up the speed. "Cum for me dear, I want you to feel how good I make you feel." He said kissing his breath a bit. You couldn't hold it any longer and came which made him cum in you, you felt the warmth inside you as he slowed his pace and rested more of his body weight while moaning into your lips. He kissed you deeply once more before pulling out and laying down beside you. You were both panting as you lay there, Remus moved the covers and covered both of your bodies and kissed your forehead. "Good night dear." He whispered and you placed your head on his chest hugging him as his arm was around you. "Good night, Moony."
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NEXT CHAPTER | More stuff I wrote
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kylianswifey · 1 year
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First Date - Kylian Mbappe x Reader
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Summary:
love ur writing , psg!french footballer reader x kylian has been on my mind a lot… you can do whatever you’d like with this request ! 💐
Y/N had always been passionate about football. Ever since she was a little girl, she would spend hours watching games, analyzing plays, and practicing her skills. So, when she got the opportunity to play for the PSG women's team, she was over the moon. She couldn't believe that she was going to be playing for one of the most prestigious clubs in Europe.
The first time she saw Kylian, she was starstruck. He was already a famous football player, and seeing him in person was like a dream come true. They would run into each other from time to time during training days, and Y/N couldn't help but feel drawn to him. He had a certain charm about him that was hard to resist.
It started off innocently enough. They would exchange small talk, joke around, and even flirt a little. But as time went on, the flirting became more and more intense. Y/N found herself looking forward to their encounters and couldn't help but blush whenever Kylian would flash her a smile.
One day, as they were stretching after training, Kylian made a move. He walked up to her, a mischievous glint in his eye, and asked, "Hey, do you want to grab a drink with me sometime?"
Y/N was taken aback. She had been hoping for this moment for weeks, but now that it was here, she didn't know what to say. "Um, yeah, sure," she stammered.
Kylian grinned, obviously pleased with himself. "Great! How about tomorrow night?"
Y/N's heart skipped a beat. "Tomorrow night? Yeah, that works for me."
"Awesome," Kylian said, before giving her a wink and walking away.
As Y/N watched him go, she couldn't help but feel a rush of excitement. She was going on a date with Kylian Mbappé. It was almost too good to be true.
The next day, Y/N spent hours getting ready for the date. She tried on outfit after outfit, trying to find the perfect one. She settled on a cute summer dress and a pair of strappy sandals. When she looked at herself in the mirror, she couldn't help but feel a little nervous. What if Kylian didn't like her?
As she arrived at the bar where they had agreed to meet, she saw Kylian already there, waiting for her. He was dressed casually, in jeans and a t-shirt, but he looked amazing as always. Y/N couldn't help but smile as she approached him.
"Hey," she said, feeling a little breathless.
"Hey," Kylian said, grinning at her. "You look beautiful."
Y/N felt a flush rise to her cheeks. "Thanks."
As they settled into their seats and ordered drinks, Y/N felt the tension between them. It was different from the easy banter they had shared before. This was more charged, more electric.
They talked about everything and anything, laughing and joking as they got to know each other better. Y/N found herself completely drawn to Kylian. He was charming, funny, and incredibly smart. She could see why he was such a talented football player.
As the night wore on, they moved from the bar to a nearby park. They sat on a bench, looking up at the stars, as Kylian put his arm around her. Y/N felt a shiver run down her spine as she leaned into him.
"Y/N," Kylian said, turning to face her. "I have to tell you something."
"What is it?" Y/N asked, her heart racing.
"I think you're amazing," Kylian said, his eyes fixed on hers. "I've been wanting to ask you out for so long, and I'm so glad I finally did. I feel like I can be myself around you, and I really enjoy spending time with you."
Y/N felt her heart soar. "I feel the same way," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Kylian smiled at her, and then leaned in to kiss her. It was a soft, gentle kiss, but it was filled with passion and longing. Y/N felt her body respond, her heart beating faster as she melted into the embrace.
From that moment on, Kylian and Y/N were inseparable. They continued to play football for PSG, but they also made time for each other. They would go on dates, travel the world, and support each other in their respective careers. They were a team both on and off the field.
As their relationship progressed, Kylian and Y/N also started to train together more often. They found that they had a natural chemistry on the field, and they pushed each other to be better players.
Y/N loved watching Kylian in action. He was so fast and agile, with a quickness that was almost mesmerizing. She found herself studying his moves, trying to learn from him.
Kylian, for his part, was equally impressed by Y/N. He admired her tenacity and drive, and he loved watching her play. He found himself cheering her on, even during their competitive drills.
One day, as they were practicing their free kicks, Y/N felt a pang of nerves. She had always struggled with free kicks, and she knew that Kylian was watching her closely. She took a deep breath and tried to focus.
Kylian stepped up next to her, offering her a small smile of encouragement. "You got this," he said.
Y/N felt a sudden surge of confidence. She took her shot, and to her surprise, it was perfect. The ball sailed over the wall of defenders and into the goal. She turned to Kylian, her heart racing.
He was grinning at her, obviously impressed. "Nice one," he said.
Looking back on that first date, Y/N knew that it was the beginning of something special. She couldn't have predicted where their love would take them, but she was grateful for every moment they shared. As she snuggled up to Kylian on the couch, watching a movie and laughing together, she knew that she was exactly where she was meant to be.
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ephemerastardust · 1 year
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[DCSB2023] A Little Bit of Everything
Link to fic | Author’s AO3
My piece for DeanCas Switch Bang this year! I am so lucky to be paired with @one-more-offbeat-anthem :D Thank you for the sweet fic!
- First Kiss (title pic) -
I think it's the first time I just draw them a platonic kiss in a bang! I love drawing their domestic life so much 💞
- Dusk (cropped) -
Full piece on Twitter | AO3
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I think it's the first time I've ever drawn Top!Dean x bottom!Cas! So overdue haha
I tend to make pics overly lighted I think... The light of the scene in the story is actually dimmer and more intimate 🤔 It is very sweet please go read the fic!
- To my author, fellow artists, and mods -
I want to say thank you to my author @one-more-offbeat-anthem! She is always so supportive and encouraging, and the fic is so soft and warm 💙💚 It's such a good dose of mutual pining and I love the way Dean's life is narrated. Please go read it!
I didn't have much time online in the past few months, but I peeked into artist channel once in a while and I want to shout out to my fellow artists you are so talented!😭
I also want to say thank you to all bang mods! The promo pics are amazing!! Thank you for all the time and effort you put into this bang!
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Note
Hi there
I know you said you don’t do requests and I suppose this isn’t technically a request but I’ve been wondering if you’d ever write something with Ivan Drago and a female reader who’s insecure about her body (this is kind of a self insert ngl). Like, how would he act? Would he constantly assure her that she’s pretty and would he pay special attention to certain parts of her body she doesn’t like during lovemaking? I’d personally love to read something like that but it’s totally up to you if you wanna write it.
Keep up the good work, love your stories btw ❤️
Omg hell yes! (Why didn't I think of this?) I'm insecure af so this is also self insert af on my part. Enjoy!
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Headcanon/Preference # 32
Picture & Gif NOT mine.
Year posted - 2023
*So I've got this coworker that I get along with well. And he's a muscly guy that's into plus size women, and we've talked about that sorta stuff a lot. So I'm using his insight about why a guy like that, would be attracted to a bigger girl. He'll never see this but hey shout out to him. Also a real story might just come out of this in time, but for now enjoy these headcanons.
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✨Ivan loves his plus size sweetheart~
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🌹 When Ivan first met you he was immediately drawn to you like a magnet. He'd never seen a woman like you in Soviet Russia, and you looked like a pure goddess in his eyes.
🌹 When he finally got the chance to touch you for the first time. He was instantly smitten, your so soft and squeezable. He's not used to that, and he's finding that he's obsessed with the contrast.
🌹 Once you're together Ivan will spend hours worshipping you from head to toe. Every single inch of you is paradise to him. But his favorite part? Your soft tummy.
🌹 There's just something beautiful about your soft plump belly. It's his favorite thing to caress and kiss, and often times his favorite place to lay his head. And one day he hopes he'll get to see it swell more with his child.
🌹 On a bad day when you were feeling particularly down about your pudgy body, Ivan took the time to explain to you why he loves your supple body so much.
🌹 Everything in his life until now has been hard and rough, from his work, to his home life, his environment, and so forth. Finding you was like an oasis to him.
🌹 When you try comparing yourself to his ex-wife, he immediately stops you. Making you chuckle by telling you she was like a skeleton, and nowhere near as cozy and lovable as you are.
🌹 During intimacy Ivan shows you what love making really means, his words of praise, his adoring touch that leaves fire in its wake, and his hunger to show you just how much he wants you makes you dizzy.
🌹 If anyone says anything bad about you while Ivan is around, odds are he'll kick there ass, or at the very least he'll berate them. Ultimately making them apologize no matter what tactic he uses.
🌹 If he's not around, and only learns about it when you break down and tell him about it. He's pulling you into his arms and assuring you that they don't know a single thing about what their missing with someone as amazing as you. (Making a mental note to scare the shit out of them next time he sees them.)
🌹 You got stretch marks? Ivan will trace them idly, and commit them all to memory, mapping out the span of them as if it were vital.
🌹 Got cellulite? He'll caress every inch, nuzzle into it, and all around worship it. Explaining that it makes you more you, and that much more beautiful.
🌹 Not a big fan of how pudgy your face is? Ivan is cupping your cheeks. Looking into your eyes with so much love, as he tells you how cute your chubby cheeks are. And to him you are still small, as his hands can easily cup your cheeks.
🌹 Got big boobs? He fucking adores them, he adores you! There big and round and soft, the perfect place to lay his head at night when you cuddle. Plus there fun to play with not gonna lie. (and not just sexually, but that's a plus too.)
🌹 Not a fan of the size or shape of your butt? Are you kidding? Ivan is obsessed with smacking your ass every single chance he gets, doesn't matter who's around or where you are!
🌹 Worried you'll never fit in his shirts? Haha that's funny! Ivan is huge, you'll fit in his shirts just fine. Maybe not swimming in it, but it'll fit comfortably.
🌹 Ivan grows obsessed with making sure you're well fed, and simply watching you eat. It makes him feel like he is providing for you well, and that makes him very happy. (Plus you look adorable when you do a happy little food dance.)
🌹 Once he convinced you to sit on his face, though you had agreed anxiously, you still refused to actually sit down, and instead hovered over him. That wasn't gonna fly, so Ivan pulled you flush against his face, and gave you the best head you've ever experienced in your life.
🌹 Anytime you act as if you'll crush him, maybe saying he'll strain or hurt himself picking you up. He'll prove you wrong again and again, when he just hoists you up as if you weighed nothing. If anything he takes those worries as a challenge, and he'll never fail in proving you wrong.
🌹 The first time you wore a sexy lace piece for him, he was practically drooling. Needless to say the lace was ruined in his nearly feral haste to have you. But he happily bought you more, a lot more.
🌹 Within a year of being with Ivan, and him chipping away at your insecurities. You become the confident goddess you were meant to be! And he's so fucking proud of you, he's always showing you off, and praising you.
🌹 Ivan doesn't want you to change for anyone, not even him. He loves you just the way you are, it's what drew him to you in the first place. And he's beyond honored for not only getting to love you, but to show you just how sexy you truly are.
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Buy me a coffee sometime? ☕️
(Click the coffee for my Kofi link, IT'S NOT NECESSARY BTW.)
*Hope this was satisfactory!
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lovincomets · 2 years
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pick a card: the things they want to say to you right now, in a little letter
hello hello hello! this is my first post and my first pick-a-card reading upon here, and i'm so excited! the theme today is black & white, which is not really my aesthetic but it looked really pretty! i'm gonna be doing this reading mostly on what my gut & instinct says, but i'll pull some tarot cards too! also, i'm a beginner on tumblr, so please excuse me for any mistakes, if i make any. thank you! (i do not own any of these pictures, credits go to google)
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● please breathe in and out, and then choose, if you're confused between choosing. ● it's perfectly okay to be drawn to more than 1 pile. however, i suggest that pick the one by which you feel more drawn towards.
pile 1 -----> pile 2
pile 3 ----> pile 4 this pick-a-card reading includes :- ● a small and cute letter from the person you're thinking about. ● some channeled messages / things that came in my mind while writing your letter. ● a channeled song. let's start with the reading!
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pile 1 dear love, it's been a long time since i've talked to you. every second without talking to you felt like hell. i've missed you so much. i kind of feel like you're ignoring me, are you? i hope not. i just wanna talk to you. please text me, it'll make my day. are you eating well and taking care of yourself? i'm really worried about you. you look sad these days. is everything okay? if not, just know that i'm always there for you and everything is going to be alright soon. my love, i miss you so so much. please talk to me. love you. ♡ channeled messages "i love your eyes", "princess", los angeles, the colour white, "you're my queen", "i love you", a guy looking at a girl with doe eyes as she talks to someone else. ♡ channeled song havana - camila cabello (feat. young thug) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- pile 2 baby, i'm still blushing. you have no idea how much i love talking to you, do you? you probably think that i don't like talking to you, or i dont care about what you say, but, i love it. i really do love it. all the little moments we have, when you're in my arms, when we're laughing and joking around with each other. i love it so much. babe, never ever doubt about my feelings towards you. they're real and i know it. even though i may not show it sometimes, you really do have my heart, my queen. ♡ channeled messages "la la la la la la", a slow mo video of a couple laughing and hugging each other, california (?), cherry by lana del rey, "i wanna kiss you", "let's cuddle". ♡ channeled song last kiss - taylor swift ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ pile 3 hi, i don't think we know each other that well, do we? well, you seem interesting. i would love to know more about you, talk to me the next time you see me. the last time i saw you, were you running? you looked really pretty with all that hair in front of your face, i don't know what i'm even saying, but i loved it. let's be friends, shall we? ♡ channeled messages a chemistry lab, "hey, who is she?", a school/uni/college, "yolo!", a pretty girl with bangs, a guy wearing a checked white shirt. ♡ channeled song can i be him - james arthur ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ pile 4 yo, (such playful energy!) i love you. i don't think you know that. you probably never will. we are so close, i love to tease you and make fun of you, we bully each other sarcastically, i love it. you're my bestest friend. i want to be more than friends, but i'm not sure if you would want that. i'm scared to reveal my feelings to you. maybe you would reject me. i'm not sure. i don't want to ruin this amazing friendship i have with you. i really love you. you as a whole are an extremely gorgeous human being. ♡ channeled messages texting on discord, laughing, "stop hitting me! (in a playful way), "you're so cute!", a tiny room, running on the baseball field. ♡ channeled song olivia - one direction
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thank you so much for reading! i hope you all liked it :) please share/reblog/like if you can! it would be much appreciated! <3 also, you can dm me whenever you want! i'll love to be friends with you all!
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dk-wren · 1 year
Note
Thanks for answering my ask.....if you don't mind me asking (again), who are your favorite romantic relationship's couples in books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series (can be canon or non-canon)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....
Hello again @dnana-2809-blog!
Of course, thank you for the ask. And apologies for the delayed response. School and work have been consuming a lot of my time, so I haven’t had too much time to write down my thoughts/answer your question (at least not in a way that I felt satisfied with).
After racking my brain, here are my favorite ships/couples:
Kazurei (Kazuki Kurusu and Rei Suwa from Buddy Daddies)
Kanera (Kanan Jarrus and Hera Syndulla from Star Wars Rebels)
Fierrochase (Alex Fierro and Magnus Chase from Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard series)
Twiyor or Loiyor (Twilight/Loid Forger and Yor Forger from Spy x Family)
Pricefield (Chloe Price and Max Caulfield from Life is Strange)
Wrightworth (or Narumitsu) (Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth from the Ace Attorney series)
Kazurei
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The way I view Kazurei as a ship changes from day to day, and I think that's pretty amazing. There are several moments while watching Buddy Daddies that I was screaming in my head that they are so in love with each other and just kiss already. But at the same time, I really enjoyed how their relationship can also be interpreted as QPR or two people who deeply care for one another as friends.
At least currently, I don't really feel strongly one way or another (i.e. I won't say one interpretation is right/wrong). What I love about Kazurei though, that I feel Buddy Daddies does explicitly show, is that the bond Kazuki and Rei share goes deeper than just friends or just workmates (case in point, they raised Miri for 10+ years together). They truly care for each other's well being and that the other is looked after, whether or not that has romantic underlinings.
I get so happy seeing them together and when they do their usual antics. While I would have been over the moon with a kiss or wedding bands or literally any canon confirmation of them as a couple, I still love this ship and its ambiguity over how they would personally define their relationship.
(Also ngl I have not felt this strongly for a ship in quite a long time. And yes, the picture I chose for Kazurei is very intentional)
Kanera
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I think from the moment the introductory short "The Machine in the Ghost" premiered, I've shipped these two. I can't remember when exactly, but at some point either during the first season of Star Wars Rebels or between the finale of S1 and start of S2, I read A New Dawn and began shipping them even harder.
I think the nurturing attitude both characters have and the "mother/father" roles they took on for the rest of the Ghost crew really helped me fall in love with this ship. I did not think Kanera would actually become canon, even though there were so many moments that hinted towards their relationship. So I was absolutely screaming for joy when the first kiss happened in S4. While I'm sad that on-screen dynamic was only shortly explored, I do love how each was able to grow individually over the course of the show, without it being tied to their partner or them as a couple. Because each character was able to be well-developed and have their pasts explored, I also think I was drawn to this ship since there both characters are complex, carry their own baggage, and support each other without being reduced to simply "the lovers."
And while I absolutely wanted them to have their "happily ever after" as they ride into the sunset, I am so glad that Hera now has Jacen, who will always be there to remind her of Kanan's love for her.
Fierrochase
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It's been several years since I've read the Magnus Chase series (I'm long overdue for a reread), but I'm gonna do my best to remember my first impressions of Fierrochase. Perhaps it is because I was younger, but I remember really liking the banter and interactions between Magnus and Alex. It took me a moment to realize that I was totally shipping them together.
Their kiss in Ship of the Dead (book #3) was so tender and it made me so happy to see this ship become canon. Also, the ending for that book was so sweet. And while I would love to see more adventures with Magnus and this group of characters, I love how there is an openness in their stories and the development of their relationship.
I am a big fan of Percabeth, but I wanted to include Fierrochase because this ship deserves more love and attention. Likewise, since there is less canon events of Magnus and Alex as a couple, I feel I love them even more due to the amount of potential where their relationship can go. (One final thought-I think the chaotic nature of both Magnus and Alex is another reason why I love this ship so much)
Twiyor
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Reflecting on why I love Twiyor, I can't really recall the reason why I started shipping them together. But as soon as my friend introduced me to this manga/anime, I was shipping them. Since I knew my friend read the manga, which was further along than the anime, I remember after watching the first few episodes, I asked them if Twiyor had become canon yet/any identity reveals. While I am dying for the day that they hopefully reveal their true feelings for each other (if that day comes), I have been enjoying the development of Loid and Yor growing more confident and comfortable in their roles as chichi and haha to Anya.
Like many other characters in the SxF universe, Twilight/Loid and Yor both carry their own losses and share the experience of having their childhoods stripped from them. I think the fact that they have found each other and (I feel at least) can truly understand each other's double lives or the reasons for their true occupations, this is the main reason why I love and ship Twiyor.
While there have been more Twiyor moments since I've first joined this fandom, which has just made me fall even more in love with them, I still don't completely know why I ship them together as hard as I do. But, I absolutely adore Loid and Yor and would love for both of them to know that the other is there for them (as well as hopefully accepting of them too).
Pricefield
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Max and Chloe have been through a lot together, and not just in terms of the events of Life is Strange. While both Max and Chloe have their own guilt or regrets for how their friendship previously ended when Max had to abruptly leave Arcadia Bay, the fact that they are more or less there for each other during the 5 days that make up Life is Strange, and all the craziness that happens each day, makes me want to root for them to be together and happy with each other's company.
Literally, these two have been through so much together, and survived, that I can't help but feel it is their destiny to be together (forever). While player's choice can lead to different endings/outcomes, the fact that one ending canonically confirms they are still together, traveling across the country made me so happy. Not just to know they are alive and doing well, but that they have yet to leave each other's side. Similar to many of the other ships and couples on this list, I love this ship because they stand by each other's side through everything the universe throws at them. And now that they are relatively free from past events, they are allowed to explore and spend all the time they want together, making up for all the years and missed memories.
Wrightworth
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Somehow I came across Wrightworth before actually watching/playing Ace Attorney. Since I was not familiar with the context of this ship, I was like "Cool" but didn't feel too strongly (at least not yet) for this ship since I really had no idea what was happening otherwise in the AA universe.
Once I started watching/playing Ace Attorney, I understood why basically everyone shipped Wrightworth and quickly jumped onboard too. Sooo many of their interactions just left me totally confounded as to how they are not explicitly canon. And as many people have joked or teased about, the fact that Phoenix literally became a lawyer to see Miles again in court, like AHHHHH!!!
In the case of Wrightworth, I think this is a ship that once I knew it existed, and had a bit more info about their pasts and relationship as presented in-game (but also the anime too), I was like yes, they are a couple/married, your honor.
Honorable Mention: Zeddison
(Zed Necrodopolis and Addison Wells from Zombies)
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Compared to the previously mentioned couples and ships, I am not as huge of a fan of Zeddison (not in the sense of I don't ship them, but there are other couples I am rooting for a lot more than them). However, considering the amount I have written about and analyzed Zombies/Zeddison on this blog, I feel they definitely deserve some mention.
Zeddison very much represents the trope of star-crossed lovers or two lovers from opposite sides, with Zed being a part of the zombie world and Addison a part of the human world. Overall, in terms of form, I do not think this couple does anything super groundbreaking (or that hasn't been seen in movies before). However, over the course of the three Zombies movies, I do appreciate how different stages of their relationship are shown (Exp: revealing their relationship to their family/peers, jealousy, reconciliation, and worries about being long distance). I love Zeddison because of how much they are willing to stand up for their partner and really don't care about what others think of them together. And again, I also love that their relationship is composed of both highs and lows, which are explored to an extent.
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Thank you again for this ask!
I had a lot of fun thinking about my favorite ships, especially since I haven't spent too much time thinking overall or collectively about all the ships/couples I love. Hope my answers are somewhat interesting. Thank you again for your patience as I worked on this ask!
-Dakota Wren
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yumi-tamura-fan · 1 year
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My top 3 90's shojo manga reccomendations (I'll try to keep them spoiler free as possible)
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1.Basara by Yumi Tamura (27 volumes)
Synopsis from Viz: Basara is a post-apocalyptic fantasy adventure series and one of the most popular shôjo manga of the 90s in Japan. It is the story of how a young girl becomes "the child of destiny" and finds the strength to free her people and seek revenge for the death of her brother.
Basara is a story that can't be classified into just one genre. It's a romance of course, but it could fit also fit into other genres such as fantasy or adventure, as well as tragedy. There's bloody battles throughout the manga, as well as political corruption and even pirate fights! It might sound like a shonen manga but we also get romance, forbidden romance at that. Think Romeo and Juliet. We get to see star crossed lovers fight for what they think is right all the while not knowing each others identities. Everyone in the series is fleshed out, with motivations, wants and needs. By the time you reach the end of the series, even the smallest characters will have you feeling for them.
The only criticism I can give is the art at the beginning of the series is subpar, but the quality of it picks up quickly and by the end of the series the author's art is undeniably gorgeous. My all time favorite shojo manga and whether you can hunt down all the out of print series like me (it took forever) or read the scans online, I think almost anyone would be drawn in to this series.
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Red River by Chie Shinohara (28 volumes)
Synopsis from Viz: Yuri, a pretty Japanese girl, is ecstatic after passing her college entrance exam and having her first kiss with her childhood friend-turned boyfriend. However, her luck soon changes. She starts to notice that water becomes agitated whenever she goes near it. One night, hands appear out of a puddle on the street and drag her into the water! Transported to an ancient village in the Middle East, she is then captured by armed troops and taken to the Queen's palace for a human sacrifice. Adventure and good-looking boys fill this great first volume!
I've always been fascinated by Ancient Egypt so this manga was right up my ally. It has beautiful art, an intriguing story, and unique side characters. I also didn't hate the fact that the author dropped details and facts about history into the manga.
Overall it's an amazing historal manga, with just enough action as there is romance. I would encourage anyone who enjoys history to check out this title (most likely through online scans as it is out of print).
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Angel Sanctuary by Kaori Yuki (20 volumes)
Synopsis from Viz: Why is Setsuna so mixed up? Despite his attempts to be noble, he'll fight anyone anytime; he ignores all authority; and he harbors feelings for his sister that can only be described as "incestuous." Why is he such a mess? The reason may be found with two demons from the underworld and their enemy, an insane angel who is distributing an insidious computer game called Angel Sanctuary.
Angel Sanctuary is about a female angel who rebelled against God, and in turn had her soul separated from her body, and sent to earth to endure tragic human lives until the end of time. The female angel currently inhabits the body of a teenage boy who is troubled by the love he has for his sister. Like Flowers in the Attic, incest is a common theme throughout it, however, it is never fetishized nor glamorized, and we don't see that much of the physical side of it (just go with it and it will all make sense in the end). The sinful love isn't the only focus, as there are also demons, sword battles, even angels with guns, as well as plenty of interesting side characters that add to the story.
I will say that the first few volumes are slightly mediocre, but Kaori Yuki quickly picks up in the later volumes, and by the time I finished the series, I could say it was one of the best ones I've ever read. I've never read a 20 volume manga series as fast as I have this one.
I wouldn't recommend Angel Sanctuary to everyone, since it has a warped view on religion, as well as incest, drugs, murder and genocide. But all in all, it's a excellent series for those with an open mind who enjoy beautifully drawn series with a complicated plot.
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heymrspatel · 1 year
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Macy's Tag Game Tuesday Wednesday Thursday: Fandom Edition ✨
i was tagged by @celestialmickey @metalheadmickey @tanktopgallavich @suzy-queued and @gallawitchxx thank you loves!
your name: julissa. hi!
your age: 11,998 days old - i used an excel formula for this 🤘🏼
your first fandom(s): harry potter. *sigh* fuckin' 😒🙄😤 you know? but boy was i obsessed with it!
your current fandom(s): shameless! that's it. i might dip my toe in other stuff but nothing has quite had me in a grip like shameless in a while.
how did you first get into fandom? reading books and being obsessed and talking to my friends about it and making little drawings and then googling on the family computer until i stumbled upon a woooorld of like-minded people!
how long have you been engaging with fandom spaces? god i want to say like 20ish years now? wtf... i've just always been into something even if i wasn't active online. there was a period of time where i got overcome with life changes and starting my career where i didn't have it in me to BE online for much. but i was still very much into stuff! i've always made stuff just for me or had posters and little collectibles. idk who i am without fandom honestly. i was on tumblr for years in multiple fandoms before taking that break! then came back and lurked until you all drew me out of my little shadow.
how often do you read fanfics? asdlfkj it used to be every day, now i'm amazed if i do a couple times a week. that's sad 😔
top 3 characters from your current fandom(s): ian, mickey, lip
have you ever written a fic for a fandom? if so, shout it out! oh god no
have you ever drawn fanart for a fandom? if so, drop a link! yes! i'm currently in a slump but hi yes. you can find them all here on tumblr orrr here is my ao3 for easier browsing!
share a personal headcanon that you feel very strongly about: oh no someone just slapped down an uno skip card. next question!
you’re trying to convince a friend to get into your current fandom(s) with you. what episode, clip, or scene are you showing them? 3x05!!!!!!! they're digging up bones. child services is coming. fiona is screaming about gay dads. lip is ghetto married. debbie is going to drown a bitch in the pool. carl needs to know where the gay weiners go. first kisses. gunshot right in the ass. ian can explain this!
and finally, what does fandom mean to you? ooooh it's about community and acceptance and creativity and support! cheering each other on and being absolutely unhinged without judgement. it's everything? especially now. it's weird to think about? but this space literally gave me my best friends and i don't really understand how that happened, but it did and i am just so grateful. i feel accepted and loved and it's beautiful.
i'm feeling really tag shy but imagine me zooming by you and dropping a bouquet on your lap pls 💐
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lale-txt · 2 years
Note
<3 <3 <3 Lale I hope you’re having a good day!!! I saw your requests are open for a sec and I was wondering if you’d write something, anything, about Thatch with a reader who loves to cook and is good at it too. Cooking for/with people I care about is my main love language and I’d love to see anything where Thatch gets to interact with someone who just puts their whole spirit and being into it. Maybe he’s seeing them cook for the first time, or the hundredth time, or they’re cooking something special specifically for him, I dunno. Whatever you might wanna write.
*places large fancy hot chocolate and plate of cookies before you as an offering*
Thank you for your consideration and I hope your day is amazing. <3 <3 <3
we're gonna ignore the fact that this has been sitting in my ask box since January and continue with saying thanks for the sweet request, whoever you are anon (if you're still around and see this). cooking is my main love language too! it's been a while since i've written our beloved bread man and i still love the fact that Thatch is now owned by the fandom since Oda didn't want him.
🥖 Thatch with a gn!reader (no pronouns) who loves to cook
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so you’ve joined the Whitebeard Pirates. you settle in, try learning the names of your 1.600 siblings and cling to the handful familiar faces that help you navigate around the new home
you know the rules on board: make yourself useful somehow, everyone has their duties on the ship. you have a few talents but you really feel the most at home in a kitchen. and the cook seemed really nice from what you could tell?
you always noticed him humming a melody or being very touchy with everyone, he had one of those friendly faces that just made you wish to be his friend so bad
needless to say he was also totally your type
on your welcome night a few days after you joined, you introduce yourself properly to your new found family and thank them for the big banquet, mentioning that the food is really amazing and that you’d love to learn the recipes some day 
Thatch would be delighted to hear that you’re fond of his cooking, a big smile on his face 
maybe his pompadour would stand up a little cat’s tails do when they’re excited
he’s unaware how deep your passion for cooking and food runs, just knowing you appreciate his meal is enough to get his heart fluttering anyway and declaring you part of his division right on the spot
you can’t escape now that he put an arm around your shoulders, showing off everyone his newest staff member
it’s not like you want to escape though, you have to admit that feeling him this close is kinda nice… did he really smell like fresh warm bread or was that your imagination?
be prepared to be swept away straight into the kitchen where he gives you a quick tour, introducing you to your new workplace
he’s chatty and he’s charming and you can feel yourself drawn to him; there was just something about him that you knew will make you fall so hard for him, it was inevitable 
when he asks you if you want to help him prepare the dessert, you nod eagerly and roll up your sleeves, trying not to blush when he disappears for a second and comes back with an apron that’s a little too big for you but does the job
“is this one from your personal collection?” – “what makes you think that?” (he smirks and it’s killing you softly)
you gesture to the large print of a jolly roger that has two crossed baguettes in the background and huge letters across it declaring to kiss the cook
god, if only you could skip the getting to know each other part and and go straight to kissing, you think to yourself as you get to work
Thatch gives you instructions but is quick to notice that you don’t really need them and soon you’re in deep talk about how to give the recipe a new twist, several pots and pans on the stove boiling already because of course you have to give all those ideas a try right here, right now
he looks over your, as you cut up some fruit and you try not to become hyper-aware of every movement but granted, it’s hard when a handsome man like him was breathing down your neck (affectionate)
you start screaming inside when he reaches for your hands, gently placing his on yours and continues showing you a cutting technique, as if yours wasn’t perfect
of course you both know it’s just a simple excuse to hold hands for a hot minute but no one says a thing, instead he starts humming a melody and you just smile like a fool in love
in the end the crew has to wait forever for their dessert because the two of you got lost in the kitchen and food talk, busy feeding each other from various boiling pots, tweezing everything to perfection, the whole spice rack pulled out by now
once you fed the sugar-craving crowd outside, Thatch and you clean up the kitchen together, laughing about the mess the two made, wondering if every day will be like this now that you’re part of his division
you really hope so because you had the most fun in a very long time with him
Thatch (whose pompadour went to bed already, his hair in a messy half-bun) walks you to your cabin, an arm around your shoulders while you’re chatting about meal plans and all the recipes you want to try
you stand awkwardly in the door, not sure how to say good night to him. after tonight it feels like you’ve known each other for a decade at least, there was just something about him that made you wonder if your heart recognized him from somewhere
Thatch takes one hand of yours and gently places a kiss on top of it, not breaking eye contact with you, your flustered expression totally fueling him
tonight you will have the sweetest dreams about bread in all shapes and sizes – that’s when you can find any sleep at all, with your heart pounding like that in your chest
Thatch will greet you the next morning, a tea towel thrown over his shoulder, and you continue where you left of last night: cooking what your heart desired… and kissing, too
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reblogging4thewin · 1 year
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KP's 2022 SPN Year in Review
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Soooo much happened in my life in 2022 (well from end 2021 though 2022 really). I am so grateful for the friends both online and off who helped me get through it all 💜. I found myself focusing more on art and editing than writing - but I am really excited to share my Pinefest fic with you all in February!
The #1 creation I'm most proud of this year was my Haze Amv, but I am also blown away by how much my Me and My Broken Heart Amv took off - ending the year with almost 20k views - which is in-sane. Setting and sticking to a regular upload schedule has been motivating and rewarding - I'm excited to post January's video on Thursday too :).
Participating as an artist in a couple of bangs for the first time had me stepping out of my comfort zone and drawing the best human being I've ever drawn to-date.
Aside from making things, I also co-modded the new SPN Bang Bang with my friends @doctorprofessorsong and @you-cant-spell-subtext-without, which went wonderfully well; I"m excited for this year's round!
Last but not least, being an editor and guest for @endofthebookpod has been amazing so far, and I'm excited for the rest of The Winchesters season!
Without further ado, here's a recap of all of the SPN fanworks I made in 2022 (I'll also get my masterlist pages updated to include these):
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Fic (all G or T rated):
Did You Mean It? - PB Exchange - Cas realizes Dean's been flirting with him, so he confronts him - with some satisfying results. (reblog link)
The Theme is Dean - Dean birthday - Dean gets the themed party he's always wanted. (reblog link)
I'm the One He's Walking to - Valentine's Exchange - Is this a date? (reblog link)
Sleepy Stares - they are just so soft (reblog link)
You Never Let Me Say It Back - a poem by Dean (I am particularly proud of the wordplay in this one) (reblog link)
Regarding Bunnies - Easter; goofy Dean - Cas gets Dean a fluffy surprise, that yes they've discussed before. (reblog link)
Mon Pays Sera Toi - Dean really likes how protective Cas can be - it makes him feel safe, among other things. (reblog link)
Magic - Samwena drabble (tumblr only)
Rendevous - Drowley drabble (tumblr only)
What if Dean kissed Cas in The Trap? (tumblr only; in the tags)
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Amvs (I'm posting a new one every 5th now - YT channel):
Words Words Words - Dean Winchester - Comedy (YT link)
Squirrel all the Bad Guys Want - Dean Winchester, Drowley - Comedy (YT link)
When You Were Young - Dean Winchester, Destiel - Drama (YT link)
Haze - BAMF Cas, Destiel - Drama (YT link)
Dream Boy - Destiel - fun (YT link)
Me and My Broken Heart - Destiel - Drama (YT link)
The Shipped Gold Standard - Destiel - Drama (YT link)
Don't Let the Light go Out - Destiel - Drama - got (c) blocked on YT, so the Tumblr post has the original audio and the YT version has pitched concert audio that you can kind of hear me in 😳 (YT link)
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Gifs:
LGBTQIA+ SPN Characters
Aang and Cas entrance parallels
That pose from OTHOAP (which I like to think of as honk.jpg)
The totally-not-suggestive way that Cas eyes Dean in 5*02
500 Days of Winchesters - Spn Win / 500 Days of Summer Crossover - Suptober
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Art:
Dean/Cas/Benny drawing for Spn Bang Bang (Benny here is the best human being I've drawn to-date, and the reason I can no longer say that I can't draw people.)
Juliet the Hellhound drawings for Crowley Big Bang
Smoke - Drowley digital drawing - Suptober
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Meta and meta additions:
The Winchesters initial thoughts
The Winchesters John meta (with gifs)
Rowena is Sam's Benny
SPN Witches' immortality and humanity
See #spn meta in the tags for more thoughts too
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Misc nonsense (non-serious ramblings, sketches, ideas):
Do you wanna go/ do you wanna get out of here
Putting on a tie is such a turn-on apparently
I'll just wait here then Destiel and Merthur parallel (I could go with you is also one but yeah)
A silly little amongus/SPN crossover sketch I might come back to and draw for real.
Sarah Blake references from 8*22 Clip Show
Unusual reactions to 'I love you'
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Non-spn stuff:
Sure this is an SPN year in review, but I did make a handful of other things that I thought it'd be weird to leave out.
Soldier Boy Soulja Boy Amv - (YT link)
Dreamling Dream Amv - (YT link)
Merthur She's got Sorcery Amv - (YT link)
Puppet History Can't Touch This Amv - (YT link)
A Solid Foundation - original sapphic horror story (Reddit link)
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Last year's year in review post was more of a 'here's one fave; check out the pages I made that are a complete list.' But since blog subpages are hidden in the app, I figured I'd do a complete list in the post this year instead.
I plan on doing more writing in 2023 - Pinefest is only the beginning.
Happy new year everyone!
Since tumblr tags suck, I used this Tumblr OP finder to help me put this together.
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usersasaki · 9 months
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hello tumblr user usersasaki 🫵 you will never know who i am! (or who knows lol hi karma <3) this anon has been looking into getting into orv but keeps procrastinating like they do on many other things and so asks you, one of their resident orv likers they know, to uh. idk. but feel free to ramble on about why you like orv so much & why someone should get into it (like me!) so maybe i can finally be convinced to read it Now instead of putting it off for later again and again !! ... or something like that 🥺✨
OK GUYS THIS IS NOT A DRILL. THIS IS NOT A DRILLLLL AAAAA HELLO U BEAUTIFUL PERSON I THINK IK WHO U ARE BUT RN I'M SO READY TO CRUSH U IN A BIG HUG REGARDLESS OF THAT
ahem. yes. anyways. i'm totally normal abt this, i totally didn't go feral for a few moments before i started typing this. OK BUT I'M SO READY TO TRY TO CONVINCE U TO READ THIS CUZ WHEN I SAY THIS WEBTOON + WEBNOVEL HAS CHANGED ME ENTIRELY. pls bear with me, giving me a chance to word vomit was not a good idea /hj. i'll put everything under the cut :] and i'll try to keep everything as spoilerless as possible so that u can safely enjoy the story when u get to it
i will apologise in advance for the person i've become, this might end up becoming a HUGE post (edit: i think it did, this is apparently at a lil more than 2k words rn cuz i typed this in google docs for fear of tumblr nuking my entire draft and me having to start all over again)
tldr for those who don't want to go through a 2k essay; orv is for you if you enjoy clean art, stories that will break down your initial expectations and surpass them, and things like found family, love (all kinds), and just an emotional rollercoaster in general. prepare snacks and tissues.
i'll start with the webtoon because that's where it started for me! honestly one of the things i look for most when i start a webtoon is the art. and there are times when even if i like the story, if the art ain't it for me, i'll drop the story 😭💀 but orv has such beautiful and crisp art, very edible art HAHAHA (both webtoon and novel by the way but i'll get to the novel in a bit) it makes me go so O.O sometimes. here's an example of the art, you might've seen it somewhere but i'm still adding it here for the pure beauty of these men named kim dokja and yoo joonghyuk AND ALSO han sooyoung and jung heewon (yes i'm gay, no it's not obvious /j). every character in this webtoon is so well drawn and just. chef's kiss okay, so if you like pretty art, you've got that right here folks.
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moving on, the story seems, at first, like a very generic action fantasy webtoon where the world of a novel becomes reality and our mc aka kim dokja is the one who knows how to get to the end and he gets to meet his favourite novel’s protagonist yoo joonghyuk and decides to save the world. but as the story progresses on and on, it becomes so much more than that. the storytelling skills have to be applauded because webtoons can't use lots of words and have to convey things more concisely than their novel counterparts but they've done an amazing job of using the right dialogues in the right places with the right amount of impact. AND as of right now, the story is starting to head towards what i'd like to say is the actual beginning of this webtoon >:) that’s all i can say without spoiling some major things from the novel so,, yeah!
another beautiful part is the portrayal of each of the characters, especially kdj, and their different dynamics with kdj. now kim dokja is our mc and the main narrator of this entire thing so we’re quite limited in that sense because all we see and know is what kim dokja tells us through his narration. a lot of posts have accurately pinned him down as an unreliable narrator because he really only ever shows his companions (and us readers) one part of things and we’re all left to speculate about things. each companion holds a different opinion of kdj but all of them are united in the fact that they trust him to help them get through everything. while the webtoon hasn’t had a chance to explore that yet, i’m looking forward to how they will show it to us :] i’d say that this webtoon is worth a read also because kim dokja is the most mind boggling, intriguing and frustrating character you will ever meet. that’s a fact that’ll get clearer as you get closer to the recent chapters of the webtoon, but i love how he’s relatable in the sense that he both makes me screech in awe but also makes me want to wring his neck with how he is sometimes. i love him *holds him by the neck* (affectionately). oh and when i say every character is just a beautiful piece of art, i mean both their literal art and also the way they’ve been written, though it is more clear in the novel as of right now.
NOW i’m gonna move onto the webnovel because i honestly fell deeper into the rabbit hole purely because of the novel. and sing shong (the author of the webnovel) is an absolute genius for the way they have both intricately and simply pushed a single message throughout the length of the novel. i constantly joke about how reading the orv novel has changed my brain chemistry but i’m not joking most of the time because it really did. in many ways, i’m sure this is a novel i will remember for a very long time to come.
the same points i spoke about for the webtoon stand for the novel as well BUT of course the novel is just immaculately written and it deserves a chance of its own. it’s not that the writing of the novel is extraordinarily fancy or anything, it’s actually quite simple reading without too many complicated words but i think that has a beauty of its own. it’s able to convey what it needs to without having 10 pages of description and that’s awesome to me. there are issues with some things written in the novel but as it isn’t a focus or the point of orv (i got this point from this tumblr post, feel free to read through it if you want to because they have written some great points that can’t be said better by me!), it’s still a novel that entertains you to the fullest.
the characters are admittedly more fleshed out in the novel than the webtoon but that’s because the webtoon is still catching up while the novel is complete (it ended with epilogue chapters but recently the author came out with side stories). the relationships are just very detailed and it gives you a look into not only kim dokja’s head, but also yoo joonghyuk and other characters’ heads as well, though they’re not as common because the majority of the story is in kdj’s point of view. i’ve neglected mentioning other character names so far but kim dokja has a set of the most loyal and sweet and sometimes feral companions besides yoo joonghyuk like yoo sangah, who is someone kdj knew before the novel became their world, jung heewon and lee hyunsung, kdj’s trusty sword and shield, lee gilyoung and shin yoosung, his children (not biological but yes). there’s also lee jihye, an avid yoo joonghyuk follower who insults kdj at every turn but cares for him, and han sooyoung, who is portrayed as a bit of an antagonist or an anti-hero (as far as the webtoon goes anyway wink wink). and a lot of other characters you’ll grow to either love a lot or hate with a passion oR even have your opinion take a whole 180 about as you read on and on, that’s just the kinda novel this is.
don’t even get me started on the underlying themes of this novel. this is me being an english major (and psychology major unintentionally, double major woohoo) through and through but i love analysing characters and figuring out themes that come out through the writing. i won’t go too into the details so that i won’t spoil it for anyone who happens upon this post. but there’s the overarching theme of love; not just romantic love but also platonic love, familial love and the most important one of this novel, self-love. another theme i think is quite relevant and important to this story is more easily relatable to people who read often because it goes into how books can change you BUT you can also change books by reading them over and over again and understanding it better. also how stories can save you but you, as a reader, have the power to save stories by reading them. because in the end, a story continues because you read it. OH I CAN’T FORGET THIS, found family <3 if you’re a fan of found family, this is for you, it’s present throughout the story as a small but encompassing theme.
now this could be just me but i get extremely emotional when it comes to my favourite media, so i squeal with joy at happy parts, sob uncontrollably when sad scenes come up, punch my pillows when something makes me mad⏤ you get my point. and this novel gave me an entire rollercoaster of emotions and made me so URGH in good, bad and ugly ways. it kinda brings me back to my point about kdj being an unreliable narrator since the reason why it gets so hard and sad is because this man never tells anyone anything. he takes it upon himself to do everything, much to the annoyance and despair of his companions and us the readers. we know nothing other than what kdj is willing to tell us, not about his plans, not about him, not about his own feelings. and we’re left to guess and guess until everything is laid bare and then we’re still trying to. process everything. yeah i don’t know if this part is making any sense but i can’t really go into detail without majorly spoiling the story. so you’re gonna have to come back to my post once you’re done to be like “ohhh, right this is what they meant.” /j
To move to a lighter and probably my last point, the novel illustrations are gold i tell you. it’s done by a person named blackbox or bb-nim for short and i love just going through their art for fun. of course, if you’re reading it on a website like i did, then you’re not going to see the illustrations side by side so you should definitely check out blackbox’s twitter which i’ve linked here :] you’ll probably also find their art on pinterest. gorgeous art i tell you, BUT BUT BUT there are spoilers here and there so beware if you go digging through their media tab on their twt. I’ll put some of my favourite pieces that are as non-spoiler as possible under this
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so. yeah. these are my reasons for why you should read both the orv webtoon and novel. In the end, all i can say is that if you give them a chance, you’ll probably get hooked just as i did. i knew to a certain extent about how the novel was but nothing prepared me enough but i’m not complaining because it is genuinely so good. i’ll add a list of content warnings here that i got from the wiki page because i don’t want anyone to be ambushed by anything they’re not comfortable with reading: graphic violence, death and murder, depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, suicide, body horror, dissociation, transphobia (this might be a deal breaker and it would be for me too as a nonbinary person but it’s not a major focus and happens a couple times throughout the story), cephalopods, tentacles (yes these are real content warnings on the wiki HAHAHA), and finally hospitals.
to all of you who actually read this far, thank you! you are a great person for reading through a random person on the internet go on and on about a webtoon and novel, hope you have an awesome day/night ahead of you! if you have any questions about things in the webtoon or novel, feel free to hit me up, i’m always down to have conversations about orv (none of my irls have read it but i will use this essay to convince one of them to give it a chance so wish me luck). anyway, peace out folks! :]
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simplyblonnd · 1 year
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K. - Anakin Skywalker PART - 2
Part 1
A/N: took me long but its here part 2, I'm really proud of how it turend out but its short though
Summary: You part ways
Warnings: ANGST ANSGST ANGST. And maybe some grammar mistakes haven't checked tbhh
Materlist!!
After making the decision to see Anakin, you found yourself standing outside his dorm, your hand raised to knock on the door. Before you could do so, he opened it, looking tired but happy to see you. You couldn't help but study his face briefly, longing to kiss him and let him rest, but knowing that you had to talk.
Summoning your courage, you managed to say, "Hi." Anakin responded shyly, "Hi, umm, come in." He opened the door wider, allowing you to enter his living room. You took off your tunic and placed it on the couch, making yourself comfortable.
Anakin asked, "So, what brings you here?" as he walked toward the chair on the kitchen island, where you were sitting. He clapped his hands in front of him, trying to ease the tension between you.
"I think we need to talk about what's going on between us," you said, feeling the weight of the words on your chest. You wished everything could go back to how it was in the beginning, but things had changed, and feelings were now involved.
"Yeah, I agree. Umm, where do we begin?" Anakin started to say, but before he could continue, you blurted out, "I like you." Anakin's mouth opened in shock, but you stopped him before he could speak. "Please, let me speak before you say anything," you said, and he nodded.
"I started liking you after the second week of hooking up, or whatever we were doing. I hate myself for breaking the one stupid rule we had, and I know you might not feel the same way. It's a distraction for both of us, from our duties as Jedi, and I can't risk my position because it's everything I have. I can't lose it," you rambled, tears streaming down your face. Anakin reached out and caressed your cheek.
"You can talk now," you said softly, giving him a chance to respond.
"I don't know where you're heading with the last things you said, but before you say anything else, I want you to hear me out, okay?" Anakin cupped your face with both hands and looked into your eyes.
"You are the most beautiful, amazing, and perfect girl I have ever met. Though you may beat me at most things, I'm proud to have won your heart. I've been drawn to you since we first crossed paths, but only recently realized the depth of my feelings. I know that our allegiance to the Jedi order complicates matters, but I'm willing to risk everything for you because being with you gives my life purpose beyond any duty or code. If you feel the same, I will leave the Jedi order behind without hesitation."
"Anakin, I... I can't ask you to leave everything behind, just as I can't abandon my own responsibilities. It pains me to admit this, but you've become a distraction that I can no longer afford to have in my life." As the tears streamed down your faces, you both knew where the conversation was headed, but it didn't make it any easier to accept.
"Obi-Wan has recruited me for a three-month mission, and I'm going. I need to clear my head and sort out my priorities, and I just wanted you to know." You took a deep breath, trying to steady your voice. "We can't keep hurting ourselves like this. We both know that we can't be together. Maybe in another lifetime, things will be different, but not in this one." You squeezed Anakin's hand, trying to offer some comfort. "Who knows, perhaps when I come back, we can start anew on another planet and grow old together. But for now, it's time to say goodbye, Anakin."
Tears streamed down your face as you watched Anakin sobbing, feeling the weight of your decision. You knew it was the right thing to do, but the pain of it was almost unbearable. Anakin's head was in his hands, and he couldn't find any words to say. He knew there was no way to change your mind, and he was losing you.
Slowly, you approached him and gently took his face in your hands. You leaned in and gave him one last, bittersweet kiss. The taste of salt mixed with the taste of love as you lingered for a moment before pulling away.
It was time to go, time to leave this all behind. With a heavy heart, you gathered your tunic and turned to leave. You paused at the door, taking one last look at Anakin, knowing that this was the last time you would ever see him again.
With a deep breath, you stepped out into the darkness, feeling the weight of the universe on your shoulders. The pain of leaving him behind was almost too much to bear, but you knew it was for the best. Maybe, someday, you would find your way back to each other, but for now, it was time to say goodbye.
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radioladioxfm · 13 days
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Album Review: Rat Saw God by Wednesday
Release date: April 7, 2023 Genre: Indie rock, Shoegaze, Alternative country, Grunge Runtime: 37:03 'Rat Saw God' rotates through upbeat, sentimental, nostalgic, and furious moods and doesn't let up. If you like Midwest emo, guitar that's one part 90s grunge and one part 70s country, and tales of ODing in parking lots and getting high on Benedryl, go listen now! Rat Saw God is my favorite album of 2023.
About the band
I am glad that Wednesday, a band that hails from the mountains of Asheville, NC, chose to tour mainly in the South. They even kicked off their tour in my home town. Growing up in the South it can be hard to find cool, new bands playing live near you. But recently, I got the fuck out of the South and the only Wednesday show I could attend was in New York City. It sold out long before I knew about it. Bummer.
I got into Wednesday for their single, Feast of Snakes (2022) and later Handsome Man, a song off of their album, Twin Plagues (2021). I was instantly drawn to the angst in lead singer, Karly Hartzman's voice. The way it rises and falls on sustained notes. I've always been a sucker for a unique singing voice. The twangy banjo, grunge distortion, and vivid imagery of their lyrics were irresistible to me.
I've borrowed this review format from Tiktok user, DailyAlbumGuy. He's cool, you should follow him. Without further ado, here's the review.
Standout ⭐ Bull Believer
When I sat down for a first listen, Bull Believer grabbed me by the horns--pun intended. I didn't expect the meandering pace of this 8-minute song to give way to one of the rawest female vocal performances with a reference to Mortal Kombat. This song has earned its place on every "GIRLS SCREAMING" playlist. The buildup to that 6th minute breakdown is *chef's kiss* What a surreal choice to make it the second song on the album. I would've put it later, but hey it got my attention so maybe that means I'm wrong.
After that amazing concert-finale-type song, it picks back up not giving you not a second to recover. The best type of Wednesday song is one where the lyrics sound like a personal story remembered, written down in a journal, and still sitting at the back of your mind. Waiting there for an intimate gathering between friends for a chance to be retold. Rat Saw God is full of those songs.
Catchiest 🦗 Chosen to Deserve
I particularly love the country sound of Chosen to Deserve. To be clear, I don't mean country country. I mean the romantic version of country I have in my head where it's a little raccoon and possum in cowboy outfits sitting around a campfire. Folk country. It's so sweet and dreamy. It's a vulnerable love song. Have you ever felt that you have so many skeletons in your closet that any lover who will have you needs to read your warning label first? "I'm the girl that you have chosen to deserve"
Standout 🔈 Quarry
Quarry makes me picture the faces of folks in my dad's neighborhood in western Massachusetts. The friendships I fostered with kids there every summer break growing up. Running around, overhearing neighborhood gossip. The stories Wednesday songs tells are very rural suburban-core. Setting the scene in towns like Sevierville AKA home of Miss Dolly Parton herself. I really empathize with their desire to talk about the places they grew up with frankness and fondness, even when it's not so glamorous.
"With any writing, I just think I’m impressed with people that are able to describe their own life in a way that captures how original everyone’s life is. It’s harder than you would think to find the things that make you and your life what it is." - Karly Hartzman (source)
My favorite 💜 Bath County
This song is the real reason why I want to talk about this album. It topped my Spotify Wrapped. I listened to this song every time I had a bad day in 2023... which was a lot. This song carried me through it.  I would blast this song in my car to sing along, emphasizing the words bad luck in "Every daughter of god, has a little bad luck sometimes." It's so Midwest emo. I could quote so many lyrics that I love. From the "Sippin' piss colored, bright yellow Fanta" to the "Be my baby 'til my body's in the ground". Guitarist Jake Lenderman (same guy from MJ Lenderman), absolutely shreds too. I adore this song. Bonus points for the not-so-subtle Christian imagery at the start of the song. As a former Catholic, I love a little blasphemy.
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