#I took like. half a semester on digital art
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Hey does anyone know how to use photoshop? because I wanna combine two pics for my reblog pfp, but I have no idea how to photoshop TnT
#toast tries to talk#and asks for help#please I don’t know how to do anything#I’m. a mess#who can only half-write#I took like. half a semester on digital art#and promptly forgor everything
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Never Too Young To Die
Chapter 1: Family on Vacation
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Moorpark College is the home of the Raiders and the bridge to the future where many students attend to be the best they can be in Moorpark California, a small but lively town in the state. Among these students is a fierce and stubborn but determined and kind hearted young man, currently studying during his second semester of his first year. Spring has begun and he, along with everyone else is preparing for not only final exams, but also sport competitions, musical performances, theatre shows, art showcases and much more.
“Alright Lance! Let’s do that routine now ok?” Trevor asked. Trevor was Lances instructor and had helped shaped him into the gymnast he is today. Lance stood out from the second he joined the college as he was one of the few male students who joined gymnastics, something most boys at school picked on him for. But his training was paying off and he has become more physically active and healthy than he was before.
As he practiced his routine on the trampoline, he noticed his two biggest concerns and their names were Barrett and Liam, two competitive wrestlers who loved teasing him more than anything. He completes his routine easily, ready to showcase it the next day.
“Good job man! I say that’s enough for the day!” His coach smiled at his student and Lance felt confident about his abilities. As he went to wipe off his sweat, he saw a young man standing outside the window. He was holding a device and waving excitedly at him and Lance simply shook his head amused. That was his best friend Cliff Gyro. He may seem awkward and talkative, but you can’t deny his enthusiasm, loyalty and especially his intelligence. As he left to head off to one of his classes, he saw Barrett and Liam blocking his way.
“Why don’t you try something more manly Lance? We need some new members on the team. It’ll be better than being stuck with annoying ladies.” Barrett joked. Lance was annoyed instantly but he wasn’t threatened.
“Maybe I will. Maybe I won’t. But if you judge me again, the wrestlers are gonna be needing even more players.” Lance warned, going under their arms and walking off. Barrett was ready to strike him but Liam held him back.
“Don’t man. Just let him embarrass himself.” Liam suggested. Lance heard and even though he doesn’t show it, he does felt uncomfortable by the amount of tormenting by those two. But it turns out that was the least of his problems.
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Lance got out of the building with his gym bag and backpack, finished with his exam after weeks of worrying. He saw Cliff waiting by their bicycles and fist bumped him.
“That’s the last one man and we’re home free!” Cliff cheered and they rode their bikes down the track to the dormitory nearby.
“Thanks again man! That watch thing worked like a charm!” Lance complimented. He was gifted a watch where Cliff was able to send messages to him from his computer. Even though they both were good students, sometimes life gets in the way of studying so they worked out a system together with their watches to give each other answers and Cliff was the true mastermind behind the idea.
“I keep telling you Lance! My inventions are for real! They work!” Cliff exclaimed.
“Speaking of inventions, what’s that new thing you got up at the dorm? It smells like gasoline.” Lance asked.
“Glad you asked! I’ll show you! It’s almost done!” Cliff answered excitedly. They took the path down to the closet dormitory at the campus. They had a room big enough for two of them. Cliff’s half was clean and neat, everything organized perfectly and full of electronic and digital equipment. Lances side however was more cluttered and disoriented, posters of athletes and comic books on the wall. They both had posters of their favourite bands on the wall such as Kiss, Motley Crüe, and unapologetically ABBA. They were hard rock lovers and secret disco fans. Cliff ran over to his side of the room and pulled out a large gun from under his bed and plopped it on his desk.
“This is the Pyroblaster. I combined with explosive laser, slang and some petrol. One shot out of this baby and it could blow up the whole room!” He explained as he started polishing it.
“Mind if I test it out?” Lance asked jokingly, going to grab it but Cliff snatched it away.
“No crazyhead! You’re begging to kill yourself if you do you goof!” Cliff answered, putting his contraption away. “But you can have my bubblegum bugging device instead.” He added and Lance smirked at his friend
“Actually I think we’re done with those gadgets for a little while. Cause we don’t need these anymore!” Lance shouted excitedly, ripping their class schedules off their board and they high-fived instantly. “You gonna be there for my routine?”
“Of course man! Don’t listen to those pricks. They’re just jealous they’re not as daring as you.” He encouraged, receiving a slight blush from him.
“Aw Cliff you spoil me.”
“You know, all for one and one for all? Ever since we were kids man.” They both fist bumped again before Lance looked at a package near Cliffs computer.
“What’s this?”
“Oh your dad sent it to you. And your sister. He’s still out there trouble shooting for companies?”
“What else? I don’t have a flying clue what he’s doing lately and it’s kinda getting on my nerves. I don’t know if it affects Sapphire though or not.” Cliff looked at him sympathetically. He knew that Lance and his father had a rocky relationship and did his best to support him. “But he did said he’ll be here for my routine so that’s a good sign right?”
“Yeah that’s awesome man! He’s gonna see you at the Gymnastics Meet!”
“Yeah I guess so.” Cliff gave him a huge hug and Lance looked over at a photo of his father Drew, mother Gabrielle and older twin sister Sapphire, 10 years ago. His relationship with his father was rocky after he started leaving to work after their mother had passed away and Lance only wanted to see him once again to watch him win. One could only hope.
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Deep in the Diablo Canyon, Drew brought his soldiers through the facility. This was the location of Velvets current attack and where her troops were waiting on him.
“Alright men. Let’s hurry. I got an appointment after this.” Drew ordered. His men included Carruthers, mysterious and dangerous, and Ronan, goofy but an intelligent strategist. “Please it’s for my son.”
“You never talk about them. So what’s our plan here pal?” Carruthers remarked.
“Gonna flush out Ragnar. He’s bound to be down here.” Drew explained
“Don’t see how this is a problem to the city.”
“Well would you like to drink contaminated water?” They reached a wall and Ronan laid out an explosive, breaking a hole to help them get through. They trenched through the new pathway for a long time, Drew leading the way, until he heard a thud behind him only to see Ronan knocked out and Carruthers standing smugly behind him.
“I grew I’ve got a new problem huh?” Drew pulled out his gun and tried to shoot him down but he escaped in the nick of time. Ronan was bleeding to death in front of him and Drew had to flee, otherwise he would be next. He ran through the passageways, searching for the exit but once he saw the room of stairways and boilers, he knew he was lost.
“There he is! Get him.” A voice called out. He turned and saw Rayla with two henchmen. They grabbed and dragged him across to another room and saw Velvet inside, hiding in the darkness.
“Alright boys. No need to get nasty.” He ordered. The two men forced him into a chair and Rayla went to stand by his side. “Now Stargrove, it’s been a long time since I saw you. I believe you stole something precious from me. A program disk. Care to explain?” He asked
“Come on this is stupid. Is that anyway to treat an old friend like.”
“It’s stupid to even think we were friends. But we can end things peacefully for once if you want to see your precious kids again.” He threatened.
“What are you talking about. My kids don’t have any idea of what I do. You’re threatening to kill him aren’t you?”
“Oh I’m not threatening darling. I’m promising to kill them unless you give me what I want. You don’t want them to get into the wrong hands, like your wife. And I’m sure my darling Rayla here would have fun with that.”
“Fine. I’ve got it with me. Give me a second.” He goes to his pocket before pulling out a dagger and stabbing the hand of one of his henchmen and bolting out of the room.
“GET HIM!” They bellowed. Rayla ran straight to her target along with her henchmen. Drew managed to kill each of them one by one but Rayla dodged each one and parkour was her strategy to catch up to him, showing no signs of slowing down until she shot him in the shoulder and kicked him in the back and threw him down a flight of stairs, landing on glass shards.
“Listen Stargrove, you should’ve given us the disk. You earned your chance and you blew it.��� Rayla laughed menacingly, watching as Drew started bleeding from the cuts and gun wound he received.
“Please! I’ve lost too much blood to your partners game!” Drew exclaimed, not noticing Velvet walking down the stairs.
“Oh Dumbgrove you’re about to lose a whole lot more! Don’t worry. I’ll let him handle it.” Rayla replied. Drew turned around and saw Velvet holding up a rifle and shot him repeatedly as Rayla moved away, watching with a smirk as he laid down bleeding to death. Velvet laughed maniacally as he was killed right before his eyes.
“Free at last!” He screamed in joy. But as he did, a slight tear rolled down his face. Rayla noticed and ran over to wipe it.
“Are you alright? This isn’t like you?” She asked sympathetically.
“Yeah. He just done a lot in the past.” Rayla embraced her lover and Velvet stroked her hair gently. “I’m honestly surprised you didn’t take the kill.” He remarked
“Eh. I figured you deserved this one. Considering your history with him.” Rayla answered
“You’re so good babe.” Velvet responded and kisses her as they walked up the stairs together, leaving behind their past but unintentionally starting someone else’s future.
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Intro to UMD BookLab!
Hi! We're BookLab, the University of Maryland's English Department Makerspace. Plaintxt Press is our imprint (the entity that issues our prints [really we just like to put the logo on stuff]). BookLab was started by Professors Matthew Kirschenbaum and Kari Kraus in 2018, and Plaintxt Press was created in late 2023.
Here at BookLab, our primary medium is letterpress art. We also have materials for bookbinding, linocut, stamp making, collaging, and we're looking into screen printing. And we have a lot of random art supplies on the shelves. We also have a library of artists' books (super weird artistic books, like a book that is bound on every side) and books about books.
I made this tumblr bc I thought it would be funny.
Dramatis Personae / Cast List / People who work in BookLab
Matt (he/him): One out of two professors who started BookLab. He has a ton of awards or whatever. Nat says he has tenure for his tenure. He's a super weird guy but pretty cool. He's addicted to Twitter, so you can go see that @mkirschenbaum, it's so academic it breaks my brain.
Kari (she/her): The other professor who started Booklab. I don't know her that well but she seems cool.
A fun fact about Matt and Kari is that they are married. A second fun fact is that you will not hear this from either of them. It's normal to be cagey about being married in the workplace except that half of the English department here is married to the other half of the English department, so most people don't worry about it. Except these two.
Nat (she/her): PhD student with extreme goblinesque bisexual chaos energy. She is extremely accident-prone and yet competent at BookLab things. Also my bestie. She is studying digital humanities. The universe is currently in the process of entrusting her with a child (and we are extremely happy for her).
Diana (she/her): Goth PhD student getting her degree in English. Extremely literary in a dark academia kind of way. She acts kind of shy but is actually good at a lot of things and friendly. My other bestie.
Dylan (he/him): I don't know him super well but he's getting his PhD in something like queer literature. He's super gay and pretty cool.
Nat and Dylan have weird complicated beef that might be more Dylan's fault. I love to know the drama but I do not wish to actually get in the middle.
Rifka (they/them): Me. I like doing experimental letterpress and getting very messy. The fact that I run this Tumblr should tell you a lot about me.
RB (they/them): Occasional specter haunting Booklab (Matt is their mentor for this semester). Getting their PhD in comic book studies, porn studies, and digital humanities. They like BL. They are cool and transgender.
Aaron: Used to work in Booklab and they never took away his swipe access. He is very nice to hang out with. Knows all the drama and I am going to get him to tell me. He's really good at bookbinding.
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Logging on to Tumblr last night and seeing the hashtag "AI art" was trending was an experience. I expected to click on it and see a flood of those "me if I was a Greek Goddess, AI generated" posts (which... by the way... none of those posts ever look like the op, or a Greek Goddess... just saying). Instead, I saw people talking about the ethics of AI art and MAN WAS THAT REFRESHING! We haven't been talking about this enough. Here's my little rant for the day.
I'm going to preface this by saying, yes I have used AI to generate images. I used to do it for fun when DALLE was first gaining popularity, because who wouldn't want to make a silly little picture of Gonzo from the Muppets at a pride parade, or the 11th Doctor working as a Walmart cashier. I have also been using AI a LOT recently, but not of my own volition, but because we had not one, but TWO AI ART PROJECTS that were mandatory for the Digital Media class I took this semester at university. Being an art student is frustrating some times.
I also want to say, yes I have shared some of the AI pictures I've generated on Tumblr, thought I always disclose when something I post is AI generated, and make sure no one thinks it is my own artwork or photography. I also only post the silly ones (like the aforementioned Gonzo at pride parade), nothing that I think would look like it has been stolen or referencing someone else's artwork.
Ok, now that that is out of the way, AI ART IS UNETHICAL. I've been realizing that more and more as I've been using it and as it's become more popular. Not just because it's taking jobs away from artists (which it is and will continue to do), but because it directly steals artworks from artists without their consent, uses them to spit out a new image, and gives absolutely no credit or compensation to the original artist.
I didn't realize until very recently just how much it steals from artists. If you are an artist who has EVER posted one of your pieces to social media, or anywhere on the internet for that matter, you are at risk of having your art stolen and ripped off. That's a terrifying thought.
In my digital media class, our assignment was to use the Midjourney AI to create a series of 10 images. I remember originally being very upset and frustrated about this assignment because I'm paying to go to art school and take art classes, and yet we have an assignment that has absolutely no creativity required? Our assignments should be encouraging us to practice creativity, not just type a few words into a computer and call it a day. Originally, this is what upset me most, but as I got into the project more and more it quickly became the ethics of the project that were aggravating to no end.
Our prof wanted us to play around with style. I remember his suggestions of typing in "In the style of _____" to make a piece that emulates the style of a specific artist. This just felt super icky to me, so I stuck to only generating things that said "photo realistic", so it didn't feel like the computer was stealing someone's art style for me. I haven't got the marks back for this assignment yet, but I'm going to assume I didn't do well because I wasn't very experimental with the style of the images, but I simply refused to steal another artist's style of work for my project.
I remember about half way through the assignment, we had a mid-project critique session, where we shared a couple of the images we generated with the class and shared what prompts we used to create these images. I remember one of my classmates said something along the lines of "I really liked the style of this artist, so I tried to get the AI to generate something in his style. I ended up not using them because they always added his signature to the bottom corner, which made me super uncomfortable because it felt like stealing his artwork". I remember our prof's response to this was "Don't worry about it! You can photoshop out the signature before you hand it in!"... UMMM WHAT. If that isn't a perfect example of how dangerous this AI is to artists then I don't know what is.
We did have a little bit of a discussion of the ethics of AI artwork creation in this class, but it was mostly by the students, as we were complaining about having to do this and how icky it was. I really wish now that we had had a full class designated to discussing this in more detail.
Anyways, I do think AI art is unethical, and I did feel really gross about doing it as an assignment for an art class. Now... am I still using the AI? Yes. I'm using it because I had to pay for a month's subscription to this thing for my assignment, so I want to get my money's worth. I don't think there is much harm in me using it just for fun, provided I'm not using these photos for anything or sharing them anywhere. They are just going to be sitting on my computer as pretty images for me to look at, and I would be lying if I said it isn't fun to generate them. But I wouldn't use them for any art purposes, and especially never claim that I made them. That being said, I am using some of them as base references for paintings I've been making, but I do make sure that I am just using them as inspiration, rather than copying directly, because you never know whose stolen art has been used to generate a piece. I've generated quite a few images now that have got me excited to paint again, so at least one positive came out of this assignment.
If you are someone who posts AI generated art without disclosing it is AI generated, or worse, you claim to be the "artist"... shut up. Please. See the toll that AI is taking on the artist community and just stop.
So that's my little rant about AI art and my art class. Don't mind me, I'm just going to reblog a few posts now about the ethics of AI because it's important to me that these posts get shared and the message gets around, especially to non artists. Have a lovely day everyone.
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EUReCA Grant Proposal
This is the full grant proposal for the CU Denver EUReCA Grant. I chose to do it for an art project, and wrote it throughout the Spring 2024 semester for Grant Writing class.
Grant Proposal for Art Installation Project
Narrative
Archival practices hold power. Choosing what material to preserve has a n important impact on what and who is remembered. Historically, this has tended to impact minorities disproportionately. According to a study conducted by 1000Memories, more photographs are taken every two minutes than what the whole of humanity took before the 20th century. Due to negative attitudes towards homosexuality and gender diversity that prevailed around the world during the 19th and early 20th centuries, little photographic material of historical queers exists. This is due, in part, to the difficulty of accessing photographic equipment for already marginalized people, but it also is due to archival practice. When little historical photographs of queer individuals exist, the harmful notion that homosexuality and gender nonconformity are modern concepts is perpetuated. My work looks to solve this problem by establishing a cohesive exhibition showing these often forgotten images.
When writing about queer memory, Ana Dragojlovic and CL Quinan mention that “ways of remembering and archiving are politically inflected and culturally specific, even as they are inevitably contested by structures of inequalities and power relations in which they are embedded.” (Dragojlovic & Quinan, 2023) . While queer memory is a prevalent topic in contemporary art, it has only been a recent shift in the way we archive queer history. Artists like Nan Goldin (Ruddy, 2009) and Zanele Muholi (Baderoon, 2011) have used their photographic work to document the lives of marginalized queers in an intimate and respectful way. Their work has been acclaimed for their efforts to remember the people who are most often forgotten, as well as for their skill in humanizing their subjects. However, these two artists have only worked at a personal scale, and all their work has been conducted in the latter half of the 20th century. This is evidence that things are changing, but there is a lot of work still to be done to restore queer history.
My project seeks to deal with this issue by taking some of these few surviving 19th and early 20th century photographs, as well as contemporary ones, and turning them into lithophanes. These are 3D printed artworks that turn a photograph into a raised relief where the details can only be clearly seen when looked at against a light source. This not only transfers the photographs, sourced from museums, archives and private collections, into a more durable medium, but the nature of the material also forces the viewers to consciously engage with the photographs by making them have to look at them from a very specific angle. The difficulty for the viewers to see the actual photographs will reflect the extensive history of bad archival practices, raising awareness about the problems that come with it.
The impact of this project should be twofold. On one hand, as mentioned above, the exhibition itself will be set up in a way in which it is quite difficult for the viewers to see the artwork clearly. This will reflect the difficulty of finding and experiencing these images, raising awareness about archival practices. On the other hand, the project will look to directly engage with the lack of queer archival history by searching across museums, archives, libraries and private collections to hopefully find some photographs that only exist in paper, and then both digitize them and turn them into lithophanes. Due to the nature of this problem, I cannot give a concrete number of photographs that will be featured in the final exhibition, but I am aiming for a number around 50. On top of this, I want to contribute to bettering archival practices by making lithophanes out of my own collection of photographs that feature gender diverse individuals.
The process for this project encompasses three steps: research, prototyping, and exhibition. The research step consists of reaching out to museums, libraries, archives, private collections and any other leads to try to find as many pre-1940s photographs of homosexual and gender diverse individuals. The prototyping phase would be the longest, in which I would work with the Auraria Library to determine the thickness of the prints, the material used for them and the different settings of their 3D printers in order to have a more refined final product. This is also the step that will be the most impactful to my learning as I will be working with the Auraria Library to better my understanding of 3D printing techniques. Finally, the third stage would be to have this artwork exhibited in a public space. This would happen initially at RaCas, and would then hopefully later be accepted into a gallery exhibition in Denver.
Works Cited
Baderoon, Gabeba. “‘Gender within Gender’: Zanele Muholi’s Images of Trans Being and Becoming.” Feminist Studies 37, no. 2 (Summer 2011): 390–416.
Dragojlovic, Ana, and CL Quinan. “Queering Memory: Toward Re-Membering Otherwise.” Memory Studies 16, no. 1 (February 2023): 3–11.
Ruddy, Sarah. “‘A Radiant Eye Yearns from Me’: Figuring Documentary in the Photography of Nan Goldin.” Feminist Studies 35, no. 2 (Summer 2009): 330–61.
Project Timeline
October 2024 - Grant awarded
November 1 - 15 2024 - Reach out to archives, museums and collections to gather historical photographs
November 15 - 30 2024 - Prototype lithophanes to finalize the general settings for the final works
December 2024 - Finalize printing with ample time for mistakes
Spring 2025 - Mount RaCAS exhibition
Spring 2025 - Apply to outside exhibitions
Personal Goals
As a queer aspiring artist majoring in art history, it is imperative for me to know about different art production methods and current archival practices. My goal for this project is to gain skills in 3D printing, as well as detailed knowledge of archival practices in museums and libraries. If it gets funded, I will be going through the entire process of making art: ideation, research and development, prototyping, mounting exhibitions and presenting my artwork to an audience. This process will give me valuable experience that will prepare me for my career as an artist. Even more, this project will help me gain experience with 3D printing, an emerging medium that has proven inaccessible to me due to costs, helping me become a more well-rounded artist.
My idea of success will be a complete exhibition featuring at least 40 lithophanes, to be presented in RaCAS and a separate gallery exhibition. For this I’ll have two main objectives: first, finding historical photographs of gender diverse and homosexual individuals through Colorado museums, libraries and archives. Second, I need to prototype and print the 3D lithophanes. These two objectives will help me in my academic career since I am doing a double major in Design and in Art History; having a project that requires me to engage with both sides simultaneously does not just give me hands-on experience on archival practices and 3D printing, but also allows me to explore the intersection of the two disciplines that I am dedicating my life to.
Budget
3D printing at Auraria Library - $10 per model (material costs only) - total for prototyping and final product (around 40 prints total) - $400
The 3D printers at the Auraria Library are available for all students, but still charge for materials. The $10 is an estimate of the average costs for a single lithophane, which could vary between $8 and $15 depending on size. Around 40 prints will be necessary since about 10 of them will be prototypes to get the printer settings right. The other 30 or so will be used for final artwork.
LED Panel - $50
I will need a lighting source for the final artwork as the lithophanes can only be seen clearly against a lightsource. LED panels are an affordable option that is easily obtainable in Amazon, and one which provides strong, uniform light.
Exhibition application fees - $50
I want this artwork to be shown at exhibitions, not just during RaCAS. The exhibitions are TBD, but the average application fee is usually $25. This will allow me to apply to two of them.
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On-Campus Event: Senior Thesis Exhibition!
Hey Y’all!
As we wind down towards the end of the semester (Like a week and a half left?), I wanted to take the time to showcase my time at my University’s Senior Thesis Exhibition event: Beyond The Frame. The event started with the Animation, Digital Media Art, and Time-based Media concentration projects. Films ranged from live action films to animated films and all in between. I believe there was even a film that was similar to a motion comic or an animatic? Unfortunately I couldn’t see them all but it was interesting seeing what 4 years of study led up to and definitely put my own execution on what I’d do for a Senior thesis project into perspective. The biggest take away for me personally had to be seeing the artists recount their experiences and inspirations for their work. Many artists took inspiration from their own stories and hardships in order to bring awareness to those suffering now. With such accomplished journeys that led them here, it was hard to imagine myself sitting up there one day. I like to think that their pride and confidence exuded will rub off and I’ll push through these next few years and leave a part of myself with audiences when watching my work.
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Week 8 breakdown
Monday:
Portfolio Workshop: we were shown portfolios from previous students and asked to grade them. One particularly stood out as you could tell the student worked really hard on his project, with a lot a digital illustrations and some use of blender. That inspired me to keep working in my project.
Worked on my art history essay.
Tuesday:
I finished my essay
Wednesday:
I went to consult private press books from the school of art collection. I really liked being able to see and touch the books, the leather cover and the paper. I picked which book I would do my research project on, it has to do with the Gregynog Press and wood engravings illustration the Fables of Esope.
I set the letters and printed my half cover for the poetry book. It felt really nice to see the title with my name under it, it is starting to look like a real book.
I recolored some of my illustrations from the ‘important statements’ series to include them in my magazine. This was not something I planned. At the moment, the project is evolving and becoming something different than what I had in mind when the semester started.
Thursday:
I worked all afternoon in the relief printing workshop and I got a lot of linocuts printed, I only need to print four more and then all the rest will be letterpress. I also set the letters for a poem.
I figured out the correct way to build my chase for the letterpress. I never really researched it, I always winged it every time, but now I think I will do some research to do things properly.
I took an important turn for the magazine and decided to remove a lot of parts I hadn’t done, mostly comics, because they were not as good as I wanted them to be, and they were getting boring to make. The whole look of the magazine is supposed to be bright and fun, and I think you could tell I wasn’t having fun making those comics. I also made some new pages, and I am going to show them during the group crit on Monday.
Friday:
I printed two more linocuts and two poems. I am getting much faster at setting the type and building the chase which is really nice because I can focus on things I enjoy, like how I am setting the letters, including spaces and rhythm.
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15 Questions!
I was tagged by my beloved @not-nervous-jester 💜 thanks!
1. Are you named after anyone?
I think my middle name is from a distant great grandma or something and I absolutely despise it
2. When was the last time you cried?
Yesterday at the doctors I got super overwhelmed and couldn’t stop for some reason so that was really cool and sexy of me 🙃
3. Do you have kids?
barf no
4. Do you use sarcasm?
not to sound like a bumper sticker but I like to think I’m pretty fluent
5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?
If their vibes are good or bad usually. Body language is also pretty important I think.
6. What’s your eye colour?
Grey-blue sorry I’m boring D:
7. Scary movies or happy endings?
Both! I enjoy scary movies but not the type that’s just torture porn. Gotta have a little more than that for me. Do appreciate the art in a good gore scene though. and the world could always use more happy endings, because to quote the prince from The Last Unicorn “In real life there are no happy endings, because nothing ends.”
8. Any special talents?
I can flatten my hands on the floor without bending my knees, and I can fall asleep pretty much fucking anywhere (except cars or planes, bc that would make things too easy)
9. Where were you born?
A hospital :^)
10. What are your hobbies?
Digital art, watching movies, video games, collecting dolls. I don’t go outside.
11. Do you have any pets?
I have 2 half Siamese cats that are brother and sister. they’re very cleverly named. Artemis is brown and tan chunk of a little man, whose only thoughts besides elevator music are about snugs and food. Luna is white and grey and her hobbies include sitting in the highest places she can get (or on me), hitting her brother, and screaming. I have pics of both of them on my birdapp if you wanna see them my handle is bottled_angel
12. What sports do you play/have played?
I did gymnastics when I was a wee bun, but after that nothing. I don’t have an athletic bone in my body.
13. How tall are you?
5’2”- Doctors told me for years I was 5’3” and a quarter (that’s what it says on my driver’s license) but apparently they were just humoring me or something idk
14. Favourite subject in school?
None! Fuck school. (Okay when I was in 11th grade I took Astronomy for a semester and that was pretty cool)
15. Dream job?
I want to go to school and get my degree in mortuary science so I can become a licensed mortician. I’m not sure when that will happen though, unfortunately, I’m not ready to do it yet.
Tagging anybody who wants to do it because I’m lazy ✌️ love u
#bun.txt#thank u for tagging me my darling nobody has done that in an extremely long time#and sorry it took so long to reply tungl and it’s spaghetti code are refusing to show me ur posts#which is just homophobic
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A Year in Review!
Well, this has... been a year, hasn’t it? A lot of ups, and a lot of downs, both to the wider world and personally. But, with that last digit moving on up, I’m gonna take a moment to look back on what this year meant for me, and what 2023 means moving forward!
First, well... Meet me! I haven’t been very active on this account until about half way through 2022, so anyone looking around knows pretty much nothing about me. Since I plan to be way more active this coming year, let me shed some light!
I’m Void, but I also like the name Coda, if you’re so inclined. I mostly go by She/Her, but I’m experimenting a bit with She/They, so either work for me. I’m aromantic asexual, and damn does that feel nice to say with confidence.
I draw all sorts of stuff, but I mostly dabble and practice in character and creature design. I love dragons, monsters and horror creatures, fantasy and D&D, Sci-fi and aliens, and writing and worldbuilding!
I’m not squeamish or over sensitive by any stretch, but too much of anything is a bummer, ain’t it? And while I’m not sex repulsed, please keep your kinks to yourself.
I drew quite a few things for personal projects that I never got to post (and I’m not quite allowed to yet), I do have some highlights to share!
This was actually one of the earliest pieces I drew this year, back in January. I posted it to Twitter, but not here on Tumblr.
Here’s a character design I made for a short horror game project for school during my Spring semester. I call him Old Mr. Smiler, and he just wants to keep a... close eye on you.
This here is Patches! I think if you go back far enough on this blog, an older version of him is back there somewhere. I made him with the idea of “What would I do if I made a children’s show?” So, Patches!
Smaugust, now that was a fun challenge! I know it took quite a while to finish it, but I’m glad I did. Here are my top 5 favorites from the batch in no particular order. I think I’d like to do it again this year, and hopefully get it done on time, maybe with a more specific secondary prompt list. This whole batch reminded my how much I loved dragons, they’re what got me into drawing. So, I think I’ll indulge much more this next year.
And finally, how could I leave out a representative from my Kirby art collection? My actual favorite pieces I’ve done I can’t show y’all yet, but I think the one that started it all is a good stand in. It’s been a fun character design exercise, taking a game with characters that are mostly just circles and making humanoid designs out of them. Also helped that I had a lot of Thoughts about the Kirby series, enough to form it into its own AU, that I’m having a blast writing.
So, what should you expect now that I’m looking to be more active this year? While I can’t promise much in the beginning, I’m graduating in May (hopefully), so we’ll see where things take me. I’m hoping to carve out much more regular time for myself this time around.
First, lets start with my fan content! I have a lot of fandoms and interest. To name a few, we have Kirby (of course), but also Undertale, the Owl House, Hades, Pokémon, Dungeons and Dragons, Good Omens, and Animal Crossing! I’m hoping to show my love of all of these series. Some might pop up more than others, but I’m hoping to show some more stuff off.
Of course I’ll be continuing to expand on the Kirby Incarnations AU. But did you know I have an Undertale AU? I’ve been drawing and writing for it for years now, just not posting it here much. I’ll be fixing that of course, look out for the Funny Things AU tag.
As much as I love fan work, I do have my own personal projects and characters I want to play with and explore. Writing and drawing bring me so much joy, and I hope to share that with everyone.
As a fun exercise, throughout the year, I’ll be trying to draw every card from the Major Arcana of the Tarot deck. Tarot has always fascinated me, so I’ll be essentially drawing my own deck. Maybe I’ll do an end of year reading, who knows? Expect those about twice a month (hopefully!!!!!!!).
I actually have a massive world building project I’d love to show my art and writing for. I have a fun character with a colorful life I’d love to explore with anyone who’s interested.
He’s a nerd, he’s a queer trans man, he’s traveled around his world, and he lives his midlife dream with his husband and twin daughters as a professor and staunch labor rights activist. What’s not to like?
I’ll probably set up an ask blog for that specifically, so keep an eye out for that announcement!
I’m actually a Game Development major in school, and I’ve been neck deep in my senior thesis (hence my disappearance since August). I’m the Creative Director for a team of 13, and we’re all working hard to complete a fun little stealth puzzle experience called Sintern! I’m hoping to share more details and the character concept art I made for it as it gets closer to completion. And, possibly, answer some questions about Game Development to anyone who wants my perspective.
I learned how to use Zbrush in the Fall semester.
It’s honestly been the most fun I’ve had in school in so long, and I think I’ve found my career passion. Likewise, I’m going to be practicing and developing my portfolio. I’ll share some process and glamor shots with y’all, from concept to completion!
Exactly what it sounds like. I want to improve my art, find my weaknesses, and address them! So, expect anatomy studies, object studies, background studies, color pallet experiments, all sorts of stuff!
I write stories too! I’m a Creative Writing minor, and I’m hoping to publish some stuff someday. So, if you see me drop a piece on the dashboard every once in a while, you know why. Speaking of....
I’m a writer. I’m an artist.
And there’s been a story I’ve wanted to tell for years. I think this will finally be the year I share some of it. What is it you may ask? Well....
You’ll just have to wait and see, my wandering eyes.
Happy New Year. May 2023 be a productive and fulfilling year for us all. I’m excited for what I have in store for y’all.
If you like what you see, or are interested in anything I mentioned here, please feel free to reblog or shoot me an ask. It means the world to me.
#digital art#my art#my 2022 tumblr year in review#year in review#preview#2023 preview#worldbuilding#meet the artist#3d art#project announcement#original work#original character#fan art#teaser
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so much of the information given in the introductory module is just basic digital arts things
#IK im extremely privileged to have had an extensive digital art program in hs but i already know all of these things#im just skimming and clicking next bc its stuff i learned when i was 13#anyway ig it means that i will just have a really easy time in this class bc its essentially the same thing as hs#i just no longer have access to toonboom or cinema 4d 😢#dirt stop talking for once challenge#OH YEAH and the other half of the information is just how asynchronous classes work which I KNOW#i took an asynchronous course last semester and its why i signed up for mostly asynchronous classes bc i like them more#it allows me to take infrequent breaks bc i struggle to sit on zoom calls for 2+ hours
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Press: Elizabeth Olsen’s 20/21 Vision
The Marvel star takes us inside her transformation to a new kind of hero
GALLERY LINKS
Studio Photoshoots > 2021 > Session 002
Magazine Scans > 2021 > Grazia
GRAZIA: Elizabeth Olsen is a trooper. We are in a field in Surrey on the outskirts of the Marvel studios; it’s a biting minus one and she is standing in a Chanel broderie anglaise sundress and increasingly soggy UGG boots. Her feline cheekbones face skywards, but Olsen is slowly sinking into the mud, trilling out high notes to keep herself warm (possibly distracted) and of course with spirits high. “It was the wind I think, that was worse than the sideways rain,” she jokes as we trundle back to the soundstage hangar that we are using as a studio. It’s the kind of moment that could go viral on Instagram, that is, if Olsen were on social media. Yet one of the biggest stars of our current cultural moment is completely offline – and that surprising fact might just be the least interesting thing about her. If anything, it is a sign of how Olsen has come into her own as a confident, decisive star with the power to create her own universe.
On the cusp of her 32nd birthday, Olsen is fastidious and professional, yes, but also bright, engaging, creative, and collaborative. Born and raised in the California sunshine, she is surprisingly at ease in the blustery conditions that deluge the English countryside in late January – or, it’s that she’s very good at acting. “It was one of the ugliest days of this winter – just hilarious – but I knew we wanted the shot,” the 31-year-old actress says.
Since October, Olsen’s been living in the leafy British countryside with her “man-guy-partner,” musician Robbie Arnett, just a short drive to the Surrey compound where Doctor Strange is being filmed. It’s a closed set, masked in secrecy as much as the socially distanced masked crew dotted all over the 200-acre studio. “It feels right being in a small city right now,” she says.
Indeed, Olsen is a modern-day Renaissance woman. Learned and dedicated to her craft, she studied at New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts, with a semester at the Moscow Art Theatre School studying Stanislavski. (Surely, no matter how much of a genius the Russian theatre master was, he never could have conceived of the Marvel universe.)
Approached with the concept of WandaVision, “I thought it was perfect for television, and a very original idea that made me excited,” Olsen says. Also, she was happy she would get to work with Bettany again: “He’s very precise, like me.”
In many ways, WandaVision is a love letter to the first American television heyday. Olsen, who stayed up late watching Nick at Nite reruns as a child, says it’s a bit of a homecoming in that way. “I was a very hammy, performative child,” she explains. “So, I do think I got to live out some sort of childhood dream doing the show.”
“The highlight was really getting to tell a story about these superhero individuals told in different decades of American sitcoms, trying to match the tone of those sitcoms in order to help orate the story,” she says. “But keep it playful and fun.” Little did she know just how much we’d need that.
Half-filmed pre-pandemic in Atlanta and half post-pandemic in LA – with a six-month hiatus in-between “until all the unions figured out to work safely” – WandaVision was released almost a year into the pandemic. In many ways, it is an artifact of its time: centered upon a yearning for the simplicity of earlier days, yet shot through with the creeping realization that such days may never return, and perhaps never existed to begin with.
Indeed, the weekly story of suburban superheroes Wanda and Vision has played out like a parable of our times: Wanda living in her chosen bubble, her trauma resonating in the world we find ourselves in today. Olsen appreciates a good metaphor, but feels people may be projecting a bit much. “I see Wanda as a victim of extreme trauma, who does not understand how to process it,” she explains. “She has been a human experiment.” (Not to belabor the point, but haven’t we all?)
Being summoned by Marvel is like being called to a parallel universe for an actor: thrilling, yes, but not without a tinge of terror and a dash of the unknown. Six years in, though, it’s become like family in some ways. As a member of two dynasties – Olsen and Marvel – family is key to Olsen. She checks in on her mom (who still lives in California) and, like many American daughters, is researching which vaccine mom should get.
The performative gene runs strong through her family, of course – and no, we don’t mean her sisters. Olsen’s mom was a ballerina. Still, when she first started auditioning, Olsen took special care to carve her own path – one far from Full House. “Nepotism is a thing and I’m very aware of it,” she says. “And of course, I’ve always wanted to do it alone.” She did just that, her acting credentials consistently rising as her sister’s cemented their fashion kudos. Olsen bears a noticeable resemblance to her fashion-designer older sisters and her sartorial DNA is similarly low-key. She loves The Row (of course) and NYC label Khaite’s denim and cashmere.
For Olsen, her day job is like playing dress-up. This time around, she walked away from WandaVision with the girdle worn underneath her 50s wedding dress, laughing, “I mean, to have a custom undergarment like that, I felt like it was necessary!” Her WandaVision co-star, Kathryn Hahn, also became her shopping cohort when filming.
“She’s dangerous!” Olsen says. “She has the most exquisite, minimal but expensive taste.” It was Hahn who led Olsen to the independent boutique where she found the belted Julia Jentzsch trench that she wore to our shoot.
At the rail of samples compiled by the stylist, Olsen gravitates towards a spacious linen boilersuit and longline cashmere cardigan. Has she always been a tomboy, I ask? “I think I felt uncomfortable being a child being told they were pretty,” she says of her early auditions at age 10, adding that her love of ballet and musical theater could leave her “feeling exposed” at a young age.
Speaking of over-exposure, Olsen is distinctly offline in a time when so many are defined by their social media presence. Among celebrities and regular digital citizens, the perfect balance of online and off is up for debate, but Olsen is clear: social media saturation is a choice for all of us, and everyone needs to draw their own boundaries.
“It has to be a personal decision, right?” she begins. “So, my opinion has nothing to do with what anyone else does or doesn’t do with it.” Her own journey began when she momentarily dabbled with Instagram (since deleted), while filming Ingrid Goes West, director Matt Spicer’s frightening and funny debut feature about a social stalker, co-starring Aubrey Plaza.
Up until that time, she says, “I had never touched it before. I thought, ‘This is an interesting social experiment for myself, to see if it is a good source to talk about charities or a good source to talk about small projects, or to share something goofier about myself.’ But I think at the end of the day, what I discovered was one, I’m really bad at creating a perceived identity!”
“I didn’t find it very organic to who I am as a person,” she continues. “I found some joy in putting up silly videos, but I think the main reason I stopped – not I think, I know the main reason why I stopped – was because of the organization in my brain.”
“Lots of horrible things happen all the time. Or, lots of great things happen all the time. Whether it’s something terrifying, like a natural disaster or a school shooting or a death, there are so many things that happen, and I love processing information. I love reading articles. I love listening to podcasts. I love communicating about things that are happening in the world to people around me. And what I don’t love is that my brain organization was saying, ‘Should I post about this?’ That seemed very unhealthy ….”
“And to then contribute to these platitudes that I don’t really love, you have to subscribe to two different ways of thinking,” she says. “So, I didn’t like that, and there was a lot of it that was just bothering me for my own sake of what value systems I have.”
That’s not to say that there’s any inherent value system – pro or con – in using Instagram. Olsen is clear that like any other method of expression, it’s up to the individual to use it as they see fit. “I do see a use of it and how you can use it well for work,” she says. “But I don’t think that I would like to use that tool to promote myself.”
She’s private for a millennial yes, but not prim. On the photoshoot, lockdown experiences were shared, and Olsen recounted her (hilarious) first at-home bikini wax: banishing her husband upstairs “for an extended chat with his therapist,” her trusted waxer on speed dial, and microwave set to ping! (Yes, Olsen is a trooper, as I mentioned.)
We catch up over Zoom a week later, her hair once again pulled up in a casual topknot, her cashmere turtleneck simmering in a dark claret, and her entire being suffused with covetable understatement. She chats buoyantly against an unexpected backdrop of pirate ship wallpaper in the playroom of a house she shares with Arnett, who proposed with an emerald and diamond ring in 2019.
“We first started to try to make it the gym, but it was so cramped,” she says of the jolly space. The home gym was instead awarded a larger room, where Olsen loves to maintain a varied fitness regime – running, yoga, dancing, more – though after all the intense Marvel filming, she jokes, “maybe it’s time to give up on my body?!” Being comic book fit does sound grueling or “time-consuming fun” as she anoints the “strenuous physical demands.”
Like most of us, she is longing for the spring, but she still takes a regular constitutional walk in a nearby Richmond park, whatever the weather. “The deer are incredible; every time I see them I feel alive,” she says. “We have been lucky to have nature around us in lockdown.” It’s a marked difference from her paparazzi-populated home in the Hills. “They know our walks, where we get coffee, work-out…,” she trails off.
Her haven in Los Angeles is her backyard, complete with a mid-century swimming pool and an edible garden. “It’s crazy the blackberries grow like weeds! I love watching a kid’s first reaction to an edible garden,” she gushes That has been the part of the pandemic travel restrictions she’s found hardest: missing her friend’s children growing up, and others who have been born this past year that she’s yet to meet. They will no doubt all be treated to her homemade blackberry sorbet on her return stateside.
Yet, her time on British soil will likely be prolonged, with a prospective indie commencing filming here when Doctor Strange wraps. Prompted for more detail, her firm charm kicks in. “I can’t jinx it!” she insists. Still, she will share that she’s heavily involved in the creative, and that funding smaller productions in the current climate has been a challenge.
Through it all, Olsen has remained determined and calm. “I feel patience is my superpower. But my weakness also,” she says. “I feel like it gets tested more than others who don’t have a lot of patience. If someone learns you’re easygoing or that you’re relaxed, sometimes it gets taken advantage of.” While she waits for the green light on that film, she is busy producing a new children’s cartoon with Arnett, “about loving and caring for our world,” and has also written a children’s book about to be published by Random House, all while the demands of Marvel life continue to surround her.
Indeed, Olsen is a superhero for the modern age: Multi-hyphenate, but fiercely devoted to the craft that she loves; instantly recognizable, yet thoughtfully protective of her private life; a woman with style, substance, success, and deep rewarding relationships with those around her; focused on a vision of a better world for us all.
Press: Elizabeth Olsen’s 20/21 Vision was originally published on Elizabeth Olsen Source • Your source for everything Elizabeth Olsen
#Elizabeth Olsen#WandaVision#Avengers#Scarlet Witch#Wanda Maximoff#Sorry For Your Loss#Avengers Infinity War#Avengers Age of Ultron#Captain America Civil War#Ingrid Goes West#Godzilla
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can you tell us what your credentials are and what sort of studies/coursework did you have to take up to get to your position? and, if not too personal, what your day to day work life might look life in and out awards seasons or other big ticket events your clients might need styled for?
This is long and rambling, I do apologize.
Regarding coursework and education routes into becoming a pro stylist, the thing is that there isn’t necessarily a need for a specific type of education. You could literally drop school and strive for success by the grit of your teeth and iron will alone if you really want and still could gain great acclaim. It isn’t exactly common but it does happen if you strike upon fortunate circumstances and garner experience wherever possible to form the base of your portfolio and profile which will later shape your reputation.
As it is, most studios and clients do tend to give more consideration to those that come from an academic qualifications and learning. While experience if the foreground on which all stylists (and any other set of industry workers) tread, having the support and security of studying styles and fashion and marketing and all manner of related blather gives a sense of merit and provides opportunities for your to be selected for a job despite a lack of reputation or experience. The best stylists fall from both trees and the worst do as well; there is no guaranteed recipe for success in this field as fashion itself is too fluid in expression to be quantified.
As for what I did; I had hands in both pots and have the educational background that assures I know what I am doing in terms of textual/technical understanding as well as experience from moments of pure luck compounded by my audacious efforts. I have a Bachelor’s compromised of fashion merchandising, fashion retailing, marketing, and visual arts. I took side courses at a fashion technical institute with a more tailored program that catered to the fundamentals of fit, body (and measurements) assessment, design and trends, media styling, and fashion industry principles. Additionally I did half a semester of social skills in a business. From there I went on to snatch up an internship and spent a bit more than a year being a shadow of the stylists for the company I work for before grasping a golden chance to become notable and step beyond that restricted role. I also have the certifications of AICI CIC and AICI CIP with hopes to one day finally snag the coveted AICI CIM (respectively; certified image consultant, certified image professional, certified image master).
I had friends that have worked in and out of this end of the industry and knew from the jump that I wanted to pad my portfolio with the safety net provided by academia and use it to bridge the gaps in my experience early on. I figured if I had the knowledge of how to deal with the business side of things as well as the styling side then I was a bit more valuable and, worst case, could go be a consultant or advisor for retailers or big wig company heads. As it is, the only reason I have any clout to my name at all is due to my internship - it paved over all the potholes in the road I was on and has been very favorable, but not everyone is as fortunate as I have been and this is not an easy path to undertake and forge into a career with any real sense of stability or security. Freelance stylists have a completely different struggle despite the majority coming from similar backgrounds as myself.
Now, onto the daily scope and specs of wardrobe styling ~
Please take into consideration that I am an admitted workaholic/perfectionist/overachiever within the boundaries of my work. I’m quite lazy in almost every other sense of living and make existing seem like a wreck and I’m the one driving the struggle-bus that caused it, but for the job I have I am a supremely different breed (though still a lunatic). So yeah, I do a lot more than most would in my position and it is actually something that my company head both loves and hates and is rumored to be writing a clause for all employees regarding allowable working methodology due to the sheer amount of paperwork I alone generate. I am the hazard of our company, but I am also an asset.
Anyway, I start most of my days with a lot of reading through emails that range from client comments and commands to vendors looking to use my company or clientele to bolster their credibility, to brands extending offers of product usage for marketing and campaigning reasons, and a variety of back and forths between me and the PAs or clerks of photographers, other studios, and fashion houses. Next comes hours of phone calls and reviewing schedules to ensure there is no intersections between client-oriented event slots. For one photoshoot I typically spend 3-4 weeks on the semantics of lighting quality and set features and then the rest of the time is dedicated to wardrobe and piecing out however many styles are called for, and then usually adding in at least 2 extras just for good measure. There's so many meetings my butt goes numb and touching base with the other members of my glam teams to reaffirm that we are all working on tandem and on the same page as far as vision goes. I sometimes have a turn in taking care of a new trainee or intern that is wandering our workplace like a fawn on clumsy legs and have questionable instincts.
When it comes to pulling apparel to make up sets, I have been known to be in the rack rooms and show rooms and fashion archives for over 7 hours a day. Our archivists know me as personally as I know my assistants and friends from how often I am in there territory and have to rely on their hardwork and favor. I spend days doing this until I have what I need and then dedicate every bit of my attention designing and creating looks which is another 5+ hours of one day, over the course of many. I have had days where I have been at work for 16 or 17 hours before I realize it, which is why I am such a thorn in my boss’ ass and often told to take a day off or get sent home midway through the morning - my hours alone could have business bureaus raising their eyebrows at the legality of my working hours. (This is cranked to max when shows and events are in the schedule; Awards Season is a nightmare and tours are the bastard offspring of Hell actually. The amount of hours put in are truly horrific).
Also worth mentioning for the sake of perspective is that my job is as expansive as my clients allow; if they request me for one of their various activities in the public eye or in media, if available, I am obligated to prioritize their needs above the projects that my company has assigned to me as per our contract and am expected to either find a replacement or delegate to my assistant and apprentice when possible. The opposite is also true: if my clients have a light workload or are on break from their careers, I am typically doing the busy work of in-studio tasks or tracking rising trends and other features of the fashion forecast. I also host a multitude of temporary contracts with all manner of clientele from brand ambassadors to photographers to celebrities to commercial shoots & services. These jobs come upon official requests made through the company and then negotiated into the terms of how short the working schedule will be, what work I will be undertaking, and an assessment of skills vs revenue to maintain a balance of my time as a professional being properly valued within the sad decline of styling budgets before it will be officially taken on in my name. For these I tend to make better use of my status and hand off most of the project unless I am specifically needed. I make appearances as necessary but am mostly an advisor rather than the producer, instead focusing on my exclusive clients all while staying keyed in so that the work isn't below standard. This is all a badly kept secret of my company and myself - the clients do typically know and accept this is how I handle things in general and are aware that they are paying for an absent role of by way of my name/credentials unless they specify otherwise. There have been times when a side job like this has more prestige than all the years of my experiences combined could generate which ostensibly is treated with much more care and most of my other work pauses in deference to this.
Being a stylist, especially a wardrobe AND fashion stylist, is just so much I don't think I could fully capture the scale of it for a proper index of what we do.
In short, I don't have routine days. I have days that are at the beck and call of a workload that changes at the drop of a pin or the half digit uptick that dictates the emergence of a new trend or the downwind of when a trend skews into becoming mainstream. I can be paced out and looking at a light day at my desk and suddenly be crammed into a pitch meeting or called out to a set. I've also spent many days lounging on the sofa in a client's dressing room playing on my phone and cracking jokes with the glam team as we wait for our client to return between performance takes. And then there are days when I only go into work for our weekly meeting and review before heading back home. It's constant and consuming and sometimes I can't catch my breath before I'm shoved into the show room under a daunting time crunch because an entire ensemble has been misplaced or ruined. Just a matter of days before I was felled by COVID-19 I was having a nap during a photoshoot which I had already fulfilled my purpose and had no further need to participate in.
The reality is that I spend the majority of my time carving out a balance of my work life not superseding my time dedicated to being with my son and making sure he knows no matter what, he is above my hectic career always.
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Catching Rain
Part of The Untamed - EXO Wolf Universe
Genre: Wolf!AU
Pairing: Minseok x Reader
Summary: You were more than satisfied with your life. You attended a nice college, had nice friends, a nice boyfriend. That’s what your life was: nice. You weren’t looking for anything more, so what were you to do when this seemingly harmless boy walked into your life and turned your nice little world into one much more dangerous?
Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I Epilogue
**
The beams of sunlight fell down from the wide open sky, placing warm yet gentle kisses on your cheeks and nose. It was rare for the weather to be so nice this time of year. Usually, the bitterness of winter was still holding on. But today, spring was reminding you that it was just around the corner. The heavy, feather-stuffed coat could be kept in the closet, at least for today. The striped flannel was more than enough protection from the slight breeze though you barely noticed its touch. Above you, the sky was a dazzling pastel blue with only a few puffs of white here and there.
You fingers itched down by your side where they kept you steady on the stone table where you sat. It was truly a beautiful day, too beautiful for late February. The lighting was too perfect to be ignored. With enough coverage so the shot wouldn’t be overwhelmed….
“What are you plotting?”
Your eyes snap open and you look down at your best friend. The thought had only just popped into your head. How she could read you so easily was truly terrifying at times. “Nothing,” you lied coolly. “I’m not plotting anything.”
Willa rolled her eyes. “Please. You had that smirk on your face and your fingers were practically dancing on the table. You’re easier to read than you think.”
“(y/n), please tell me you’re not going to go out into the woods again?” Erik looked up from his tablet with pleading eyes. His wire-rimmed glasses were perched on the tip of his nose, giving him a childlike quality. The wind ruffled his sandy hair. He squinted up at you with concern. You were a bit surprised that he’d caught the conversation, given how concentrated he was on his drawing. “You remember what happened last time.”
Of course you did. You were there, weren’t you? Sure, to say that it wasn’t a slightly scary experience would be a lie. But it was something you’d expected to happen eventually considering your outside activities.
A branch knocked loose by the storm from the night before had fallen from its perch, hitting you in the head. While you remained conscious, you were disoriented and had trouble finding your way back to the city. It was nearly dark by the time you made it to your car, but you had no issues driving yourself to the emergency room. The doctor declare you fine beyond the small gash atop your head, however he still preferred someone else to drive you home. Poor Erik nearly had a heart attack when he found you sitting in a hospital bed with dried blood on your face.
“It was a freak accident,” you reassured him. “Not likely to happen again.”
“But the odds still exist,” he argued. You “hmphed” at him. Why was he suddenly spouting statistics at you?
“Not to mention, there have been more wolf sightings,” Willa added, earning a glare from you. Wasn’t she supposed to be on your side?
But you couldn’t stay mad at them for long. Your brain was too logical, too in tune with being able to understand people to ignore their side of the argument. Hopping down from the table, you gave in. “Alright, I get it! You guys are saying no ventures into the trees where I get the most beautiful photographs I’ve ever taken. Noted.”
“You are such a city girl,” Willa said teasingly. It was true, though.
Throughout your childhood, your exposure to nature was the local park with its scarily overweight squirrels and hordes of annoying ants. It was a shock to your family when you chose to go to college outside of the city you knew and loved, electing to attend a smaller campus surrounded by woods and a good two hours from the nearest airport. They didn’t think you would be happy so far away. But you needed the change. You wanted to challenge yourself. Besides, if you hadn’t come out here, you wouldn’t have met Willa or Erik. And they made you very happy indeed.
Swiping up your bag from the bench, you gave Erik a quick kiss goodbye and waved to Willa. “I’ll see you guys after class.”
Willa grimaced. “Actually, I have to work.”
Erik looked equally as guilty. “And I’m meeting with Don to help out the theatre department.”
Perfect. “Don’t worry about it,” you said with feigned of disappointment. “I’ll survive. Maybe take some pictures of downtown. I’ll see you guys later.” With both of them occupied, there was no one check in on you. And you hadn’t exactly promised either of them….
Your light steps from the free evening grew heavier as you came closer to the building that the math-related classes called home.
Truly, this was your own fault. No one should have allowed you to pick your own schedule. The first two and a half years of college were spent taking all the fun, digital art major-related classes you could. The idea that you would eventually have to take the general studies classes was a problem for future you to handle. And that’s what brought you here: almost to the end of the finish line and now you were stuck taking all the subjects that you weren’t good at in order to actually graduate on time next year with your bachelors and qualify to move on to the masters. You hadn’t pinned down exactly what you would focus on when that time came, but it meant staying here, with Erik. And you loathed the idea of being left behind while your friends moved on with their lives.
The main hall inside was buzzing with voices as dozens of students hung about, arguing over answers and whining about what they would do once the weekend had finally arrived. Words mixed in with the clacking of keyboards and the faint scribbling of hurried pencils that didn’t do the homework the night before. It always amazed you how loud this place could be. Your earlier assumptions had made you think that this hall would be a second library, with stressed out students shushing each other so they could concentrate. But really, it felt more like the cafeteria; a social hangout before life interrupted again.
The classroom was mostly full by the time you arrived. Rows of crooked desks filled up two-thirds of the room with just enough space for the GTA to stand at the whiteboard and not be uncomfortable or crowded. Taking your normal seat near the front – which was unsurprisingly empty for the most part - you took out your notebook and pencil, ready jot down the main points of the day’s lesson. Until then, you scroll through the endless stream of social media on your phone.
While you were normally a friendly person, you’d elected at the beginning of the winter semester to stay serious and not give in to any distractions during this period. Because you knew yourself and you knew that you would give in to any temptation to not pay attention during this hour and a half, including talking to the shy freshman girl behind you who looked desperate for some form of friendship.
Two minutes before the class was scheduled to begin, the GTA walked in, a binder tucked under his arm and a messenger bag hanging from his shoulder. None of the conversations slowed down as he unpacked his laptop on the old desk situated in the front. Even as he opened it up and cleared his throat, the whispered chatting went on. It didn’t help that he wasn’t the most authoritative-looking person. He was on the shorter side with a friendly face that made him feel more like a peer than a teacher. Or maybe it was just because he was closer to your age that made you feel that way. It certainly didn’t help that he asked to be called by his first name rather than the typical formal address that you’d been raised with.
Sungkyu smiled brightly as he stood up. The marker made a pop when he uncapped it. “We’ll start on page ninety-nine, chapter four part two.”
That was how he started each class. No hello or good afternoons with mumbled replies. Straight to the lesson without forcing everyone to pretend like they were excited to be there or demanding a more energetic reply. Perhaps that was the one advantage of having a GTA. They knew what nonsense to skip.
An hour and a half later, you were free. Sure, your brain felt a bit like mush from concentrating so hard on the algebra equations, but now you could relax. Since that was your last class of the day, you were back to that lightness, with that spring in your step. The sun had somehow become brighter, even more inviting in the small amount of time you’d spent indoors. How could you ignore the call now?
Back in your dorm, you unloaded your backpack of the unneeded supplies for your venture. Out came the textbooks and binders that were neatly organized. In their place came a water bottle from the mini fridge you and Willa kept between your beds, a couple of granola bars you stashed away for emergencies, and the leather bound sketchpad Erik had given you for your birthday last year that housed all the photo ideas that randomly popped into your head throughout the day. Checking your watch, you assumed that you had a good three or four hours before your absence was discovered. A slight sense of adventure tingled in your chest as you slung your bag over your shoulder and scooped up your camera case from the foot of your bed.
You didn’t look back as you left the dorm and headed for your car. When – because it was a matter of time, not if – Erik and Willa found out, they’d be sure to lecture you until the end of time. But you had a feeling that it would be worth it. What was that famous saying again? Better to ask forgiveness than permission?
As much as you appreciated their concern and understood where they were coming from, the trees were calling out to you, begging to be captured within the lens of your camera. The photographer that lived inside urged you on. If they were really that upset, you’d make them dinner to make up for it.
**
Minseok wasn’t hiding per se. He simply needed a quiet place to grade these papers and with eight other rowdy wolves coming in and out of the house, “quiet” was not exactly an easy thing to find. So… yes, he was sort of hiding in his car in the detached garage. It wouldn’t be for much longer; he only had two or three more assignments to look over and, at this point, he had the answers memorized, meaning he didn’t have to stop and look at the key every five seconds.
Blowing out air, Minseok ran a hand through his black hair as he leaned back. Sometimes he wondered why he took up this position. He didn’t need to. It wasn’t required for him like it was in other masters degrees. But the offer was given and he took it. Maybe he liked the excuse that he was busy so he couldn’t go out with the younger wolves all the time. Unlike the extroverts who knew every restaurant and bar in town like the back of their hands, he preferred it out here, in the woods. Homebody felt like an understatement.
Finally through with grading, he neatly packed the papers away into his bag (divided by clear plastic folders labeled by class) and got out of the car. He left the garage with a smile on his face. Before his feet could hit the first porch step, his name rang out in the field.
“Minseok!”
He half-laughed, half-sighed as he shook his head. He shouldn’t be surprised that he was discovered the moment he left the safety of the garage.
Running towards him as he turned around were the three goofballs of the pack: Baekhyun, Chanyeol, and Jongdae. Their faces and clothes were covered in mud, making Minseok take a step back.
“Where have you been?” Chanyeol asked when they came to a stop in front of him. Thankfully, they kept their distance. Now Minseok just needed to keep them from going in the house.
“Grading papers,” Minseok replied. He wasn’t going to reveal where he was grading them.
“That sounds boring,” Baekhyun said with an expression that made it seem like he’d smelled something bad. Although, given his current state, that was quiet possible.
Jongdae whipped his hair, sending tiny droplets of muddy water everywhere. Minseok jumped back in an effort to dodge them, which sent the former into a laughing fit.
“Come on, Minseok,” Jongdae waved his hand through the air, still trying to catch his breath from laughing so hard. “You know, wolves aren’t supposed to mind getting dirty.”
“Wolves, no. Humans, yes.” The eldest wolf eyed the three of them. “Well, most humans, anyway.”
Smiling broadly and unbothered, Chanyeol made a move towards the porch.
“No,” Minseok said firmly, blocking the giant’s path. Putting his bag down on the porch he pointed to the side. “Go around and use the hose. You’ll get mud everywhere.”
“We’ll clean it up,” Jongdae whined.
“Not to his standards,” Baekhyun chuckled. Completely unbothered, he followed orders and ran to the back of the house. At first, Chanyeol pouted as well, but then he must have found the fun in the idea because only a few seconds later he was ripping his shirt over his head and running after his best friend.
Jongdae gave one last look of pleading. “Can I please go inside and take a shower?”
Minseok nodded. “After you use the hose.”
“But it’s cold.”
But wolves don’t get cold. Minseok went to pat the poor guy on the back, but then stopped, remembering why he wasn’t letting him inside in the first place. “Rinse off and then we’ll go for a real run to dry you off.”
Jongdae mulled over the offer. Grinning, he said, “Deal!” He was back behind the house in the blink of an eye.
Looking over at his bag, Minseok contemplated his options. He could leave it there and risk one of the guys forgetting the “hands-off” rule or he could take it upstairs to his room, leaving those three alone with the water hose for five minutes. It might not sound like a terrible option, but Minseok had known them long enough to understand that they could find trouble without even looking for it.
He decided to go with the second option anyway, knowing his students’ papers would at least be safe.
Just inside the living room, Sehun was glued to the TV screen, controller in hand. He was pressing down on the buttons with more force than necessary. The maknae would never admit it, but he was too competitive when it came to video games. One time, Minseok walked in on Baekhyun whacking Sehun on the head with the plastic controller because he was getting beat so badly. Thankfully, this time Sehun was alone. If he remembered correctly, Jongin and Yixing were in class while Junmyeon was conducting his office hours. At least the four of them took school seriously.
Minseok didn’t bother greeting Sehun as he made his way through the living room and up the stairs.
His bedroom, pristine and magazine-worthy – was at the end of the hall, near Junmyeon’s master. It was a good thing that Junmyeon’s great-to-however-many-degrees-grandfather thought to build a large farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. The alpha didn’t think that it had ever been quite this full since it had mostly been just his family that occupied the walls in the past, but the foresight to think of a larger pack down the line had been there. Each of the wolves were able to have their own rooms, their own space. Given how sloppy some of the others could be, Minseok was thankful. It hadn’t always been that way, but those days were long gone.
Near the beginning when Minseok first officially joined the pack, he’d tried living alone in his parents’ old place in town. The call to be together, with his brothers, was too great. It was an uncomfortable feeling. To this day he wasn’t sure if it was the wolf’s nature that caused it or simply the fact that, as the eldest, he worried about the younger wolves and preferred to be around where he could keep an eye on them. That meant that the peace and quiet was over, but sacrifices could be made and he was much happier here, anyway.
Placing his bag on the desk, Minseok sighed to himself before heading back downstairs where trouble waited.
To absolutely no one’s surprise, Chanyeol, Bakehyun, and Jongdae had turned rinsing off into a full on water war. Pretty much all the mud had been washed away, but that didn’t stop them from stealing the hose from each other and creating new mud in the backyard. They were all without their shirts, showing they were in this for the long hall.
At one point, Jongdae had snuck behind Chanyeol, who currently had possession of the garden hose, and twisted the rubber tube to stop the flow of water. Confused, Chanyeol looked directly in the mouth to discover the reason why. Which meant he fell right into Jongdae’s trap. The troll let go of the hose and the water came rushing back, spraying like a geyser in Chanyeol’s face.
Jongdae fell backwards onto his butt with how hard he was laughing. Chanyeol whipped around to get him back, catching Minseok in the crossfire.
Chanyeol cringed guilty. “Oops. Sorry.”
Minseok chuckled it off. It was just a shirt. “It’s alright. I promised Jongdae a run anyway. It’ll be dry by the time we get back.”
Baekhyun perked up. “A run?”
Minseok nodded. “Yes, you can come, too.” He was already undoing the buttons, folding the shirt and placing it on the ground once it was off. Maybe this run was what he needed. He wasn’t sure what difference it could possibly make. He’d been on hundreds of runs in the past. But something told him to go now. So, once he was ready, he shifted onto all fours and ran after the other wolves who’d already almost reached the tree line.
#exo#exo wolf au#exo wolf!au#minseok x reader#kim minseok#xiumin#exo werewolf!au#exo werewolf au#exo supernatural au#exo series#exo fanfic#exo fanfiction#untamed wolf universe#Catching Rain
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MY REALLY OLD ART A LONG ASS POST
So this first piece I found in a folder on my computer called “Old art organize later” within a folder called “ REALLY OLD ART” I drew this in 2006 and the jpeg was titled:
“My most awesome dragon evur”
Also noted was my attempt at signing my name in Japanesef saldkfjsdlf because i was 11 and anime was THEE coolest thing to me.
Okay the rest is going under a read more because this is gonna be LONG
here are some gems from 2007
yes this is a kk slider gijinka faksdjfalsdjf
next up we have my attempt to make super paper mario characters into handsome anime men
it was a this point i was a young baby on deviant art longing to do “digital” art because thats what all the really cool artists did, i didnt have a tablet and the photoshop-esque thing i had was a pirated copy of JASC Paintshop 7 (or maybe it was 8), so what did I make with newly unlocked DIGITAL ART POWERS??
and this charming thing which was my intepretation of what the The Thing Behind the Wall in Johnny the Homicidal Maniac looked like:
but these were only the beginning of my long and arduous journey as an artist, 2009 came and I entered highschool 13 years old and with nothing but the power of deviant art and being an outcast with 2 friends on my side so here are some of my favorites from that era of Noo art:
^^^ this is in fact EXACTLY what i looked like at 13
its kind of funny bc looking back you can absolutely tell id been drawing dragons/wolves since i was like able to hold a pencil but didnt start drawing humanoid characters until i was 12 afjlakfjs
ANYWAYS CARRYING ON BC THERES PLENTY MORE!! For example my Invader Zim/Naruto OCs
yes one of those aliens was kisame
every day knowing that I get to claim ownership over this is truly exhilarating the girl with the pigtails was my OC that was definitely not just me. Her name was Delainbow, she was Sasuke’s daughter and she is truly the epitome of everything that was good about my childhood
WHAT A LEGEND
this is genuinely what I wanted to be when i was 13 god I love it
oh fuck i missed this one from 2008
god GOd i love these all so much I WAS SO FREE I JUST DREW WHATEVER AND DIDNT CARE
ok just gonna put a few more without comment but these are all 2009 again
Moving on to 2010-2012 era art
shout out to teenage me for still being not the worst at drawing animals
the freaking EDGE
so there was some point here where i started trying to stop drawing “anime” bc i was tired of ppl making fun of me so I figured if I didnt draw anime ppl would take me more seriously when in reality those ppl just sucked and so did my highschool art teacher
like... YUCK???? what the fuck was i was I even accomplishing here aksdjfaskjfkasldjf
my wolves still were still way cooler then the rest of my art lol
alright carrying onto late highschool early college, its summer of 2012 im on tumblr, im a homestuck, and ive gotten a laptop and tablet as a gift for getting into art school (yeah I drew like aformentioned above and still got into art school) sadly i dont have any scans of the stuff i drew for that portfolio, it was mostly still lifes i drew like a boot and a skull haha
okay so here are the gems i made upon finally getting a computer of my own, photoshop and bamboo wacom tablet,
here she is my first attempt to paint in photoshop....s fjaskdjfaskljfklasd
the rest of these are all from like my first fall/winter semester of college when i actually started getting a real art education and not just shitty no budget rural hometown highschool art class
So that picture of zachary which is honestly NOT thaaaaaat bad was one of the first things I ever posted to break 500 notes, i think a fewwww of my homestuck drawings had come close after like months of being on the site but like that zachary was one of the first times id genuinely been a little succesful with sharing my art online and im still very grateful to everyone who liked and reblogged it ^u^
After that well, i do have a lot more bad art but its not quite as funny as my pre-college stuff from that point on you mostly just see me struggling to improve anatomy and struggling to get through school (which ultimately took me 8 years to get through bc art school is terrible on your mental health and i had to do the last 4 years as a half time student)
but thats kind of a sad note to end on so heres just a few more gems i think you all should see if you’ve taken the time to read this haha
Thank you if you took the time to scroll through all of this i hope you had a laugh and that if you’re ever feeling down about your art to remember that we all start at the bottom and you can only go up from there no matter how long it takes you! Don’t give up and honestly just draw your truth <3
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Guess who's back! Back again!
After my lack of posts last half of semester, I thought it was time for another post.
Studio:
Now, thanks to COVID my project has taken a rather large detour. I had planned to create a final 1:1 prototype that functioned but sadly now it will all be digital. This isn't the worst though, this allows me to focus on the design of multiple items of furniture and model them in Fusion 360. My idea is to model all of these different pieces of furniture and photoshop them into different home environments to show of the furniture in an realistic way.
Now to some of the work I have done, I have moved away from the hammock style chair and into a more compact chair/sofa style. I took reference from a large obtrusive staple of architecture, acoustic mirrors.
These large objects have a brutalist style to them with the solid material and the angular design. I used this style and played around with the angles and the concave circle to try and form some what of a seat. I made a few mock ups and rendered them out, although to wood texture really sucks. I might have to make my own texture to really get the aesthetic I want.
These designs make use of the angular style of the acoustic mirrors and the concaved circle. These designs due to there material would be rather uncomfortable but with the use of felted wool we could make cushions and comforters to go with them. This would make use of different waste materials and in different ways. Also by carving out aspects of the chairs it could be used as storage for the likes of book and other items.
Space, Image and Sound:
Nothing has really happened in this class as of yet. So going well! Banter aside, I have decided to focus on the film aspect of the installation, this way I can show of audio and visual all at the same time. But how to elevate the project further?
From here I plan to look at the learning objectives and work my installation around some of these points, while also keeping it within the scope that I personally want. Clinton spoke about ‘where you would like to present and/or where you could present’, it could be in digital space, it could be a car park, it could be VR. The idea is to imagine it in heaps of different spaces. What if I did an animation/ Overall it would be nothing but I could show a virtual space reacting with virtual nothing, which wouldn’t be nothing because it is digital therefore there is something (pixels and/or other digital mediums) This could be another way I could show off my idea in a different medium. Other than that, the plan is to continue with the film concept, I don’t have an ideal space such as the art gallery as my nothing can be anywhere. The ideal space/the white cube would actually be to plain for my topic, which could also be rather cool in the same respect. Due to my project being about nothing and how everything reacts with my nothing, if it was in the ideal gallery space it actually wouldn’t do anything at all. It would be a vaguely invisible plinth in a stark room within buzzing audio around it. Now I need to go further, I need some good locations with interesting environments. If lockdown persists to the point where I cannot leave my house to film on location then I will have to settle for places around my house but ideally I would like to go out and film in other places.
Intelligent Agents:
Now that the essay is out of the way it is time to focus on the project. For the project I would like to write a short story outlining the topic I did for the essay.
At this stage the story consists of two character that are suffering from similar situations, one is a robot with many organic augmentations that it doesn't know whether it is still a robot or not and the other character is a human with many cyber-organic augmentations and doesn't know whether they are still human. The ideal of the story is that they will have different stories and eventually will meet up at the end to settle there inner conflicts. More or less it is a play on the 'Theseus' Ship' analogy. "The ship of Theseus is a thought experiment that raises the question of whether an object that has had all of its components replaced remains fundamentally the same object." - they are struggling with this dilemma about themselves, whether they are robot or human.
So far I have written about two paragraphs for each character. Ideally I'd like the story to be around 10,000 words, but we will see how it goes as I write more, it might be less or more depending on how it all goes.
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i hate paris
Do people still use tumblr? I’m so old. And I never used it. I don’t keep up with the times. I don’t give a shit. You know what? It all passes. Except facebook. They made a deal with the devil and really, was it worth it? I use facebook. I live in Paris and there are these groups for women, expats, cheap people like me that want free yoga. That’s what I use it for. And news. BBC CNN ABC NBC MSNBC, you get it and the posts. They report what the people supposedly want, but then we can see what the people are actually saying. Donald Trump won’t win? Look at voices talking? Look at the little people. It looked like he was going to win. What do you know, he did. But what if he had lost. What if Hilary didn’t get a handle on COVID and then Donald won in 2020? We would all be so fucked right now. Maybe we already are. Anyway, I’m not here to talk politics. I’m here to process my life choices and see if there were signs that I was making HUGE mistake.
So here’s the thing. I’m a bit untraditional. Growing up was shit. Chuck left and made sure to shit all over everything before he did. And the whole get married in your 20′s have babies get divorced get remarried have more kids bc hey you’re not old at 30 and this is the guy you actually wanted to have kids with. I rant but you get it. Traditional not for me. Also not traditional, i have some money. This money has paid for college, pastry school and yes this wonderful covid filled experience in paris: the city that hates me. I’m fortunate. I don’t live lavishly. It’s not that much money. I grew up poor, I pinch pennies. Then i do exciting things. Or maybe challenging things? I am fortunate and grateful. And guilt filled. I am given this gift and shit it away, trying make something out of this paris experience. It’s like a bad relationship where i keep begging to give it one more change. It will get better. I’m a fucking idiot. So here I am, you know third times the charm, right? Back in paris. Vaccinated. I’ve made connections with people. I feel confident that this will not be a waste. It will be fun. It will be educational. I will network. Gain experiences. Omg learn so much. Be able to travel. OH the hopes and delusions i had. But maybe we should start from the beginning.
Omg, which beginning. Paris, i guess, we can go back further when the moment calls. So 30 is approaching. I’ve moved back home. That’s story for another time. Remember my life is not traditional. So I’m home to help out and idk try to figure out what the fuck i want to do with my life. See the big mistake i made in my 20s was listening to people i don’t admire. i graduate with an art degree. my college exit interview said i am qualified to work at a bank or Kraft foods. no connects, recommendations. No direct. And my family keeps talking about getting a job, benefits, 401k. At one point a little later on, my grandpa was pushing for me to go into service. Sorry gramps, they don’t want me. My education was good. I learned a lot. They had good resources and a lot. But then nothings. So i worked at a bakery. I worked hard at this bakery. For more than a few months i worked 7 days a week. I didn’t have a life. i had money. Money i made. And apparently that was the most important thing, from the talks i keep getting from my family. And of course i wasn’t earning enough, so needed to work harder and climb the ladder. There is no ladder in a bakery. Whatever, I rant again. We’ll come back to this.
So 30. It’s looming. I’ve thought about grad school. The money I mentioned earlier. It’s had time to grow. The GRE expires after 5 years, not that i took it but 7 years after I graduated, i wasn’t taking it. So Europe. Europe is artsy. I would like to make good money, enjoy the work okay, but mostly make good money with the least amount of actual work. So teaching. My mom teaches. Computer programing. She’s the head of the department. She fucking hates it. The dude that was suppose to get that job, he died. It was sad. But they also didn’t replace him so when the other guy retired, it became her job. It was an unpleasant 10ish years. But again, I digress. So teaching. Work hard and play hard. And it’s always changing - ish. I guess as much as you want, or don’t. New students every 15 weeks. breaks at all the holidays. Summers off. And when you’re just about to get bored, you’re back at work. Maybe because this is the only lifestyle i know, but it doesn’t sound bad. I worked in an office of women in high school. That i for sure knew i never wanted. But teaching. College. Okay. I need a masters. Learn about MA and MFA. Start looking for jobs in Cali because life’s too short to fucking deal with the snow and mosquitos. Idk everyone doesn’t live in Cali. So now the plan is MFA. They are much more rare and more in demand at universities. More money - but this time i think chasing the money necessary bc Calif = expensive. Now back to looking in Europe. I love Italy. I would love to live in in Italy for more that just a semester but actually live Italian or close to it. The language makes sense. The people make sense. The art makes sense. And it’s omg gorgeous. Alas, no American accredited MFA programs I could qualify for in Italy. I don’t know if there were none but if there were, they would have been in textiles, or digital/graphic design. Which I don’t know anything about. I’m old school, metal work, drawing, printmaking - although so far we haven’t gotten along, another thing i going to try to make work before i leave this city that hates me, for good - painting, ceramics, you get it. I hate computers. I appreciate technology but my mom teaches computers therefore there was never a working computer in my house so we (my brothers and me) don’t do computers. So i find this school - in english and in Paris. Paris, so glamorous. Home of famous artists and their art. The Louvre and Eiffel Tower and Fashion. So okay, i check out their programs. One i have no fucking clue what it is. Still don’t. Another is Photography - pass. Graphics - no. List continues. Then i see Drawing. That’s interesting. I can draw, i draw well. This is a program i could probably get into. SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: you can get into any program. No program is ever full. It’s bull shit. Masters program. Undergrad = everyone is applying at the same time. Masters = ages range and much fewer people go. So don’t fall for that shit - EVER.
They have a one year and two year program. The second year is less than half the first year so makes sense to go the second year and get the MFA vs MA. So that works out. I’m reading and checking it out. Not sure what I’m looking for but in hindsight, i knew something was missing. Talk it over with my mom and her peers who are also teachers. Consensus - don’t be part of the first group. So i have an interview to get it - what a joke. It is also a time for me to learn more about the program. So i ask, is this new? How long has it been around. Answer: Oh no, it’s been working several years. Very confident. I didn’t have a follow-up, just said I don’t want to be in the first group. I said those words. Her response: Oh no no don’t worry. I was so naive. And yes this continued through the whole program. People’s personalities are what they are. So she lied to get me into the program and just kept lying. No respect for the insane about of money i was paying for this ‘experience’. No respect for the education i could have gotten somewhere else. Because this program had NO educational value. I’m not being bitter or dramatic. It was a complete waste of time and money. Then covid happened. Might have been a blessing in disguise. I can go into detail of the program later. This is just an overview of the beginning.
So, I get accepted. What a surprise. I’m now officially 30 and this - i feel- is my last hoorah. After this i will be an adult who can get an adult job and become an adult. But first i need housing. And a visa. Which is very confusing. So the French and Italians - Italians I am familiar with, tell you about it later. So they’re similar in that lazy, lack of thoroughness, that’s their thing. Difference being Italians own it, French hardcore deny. So I’m reading this paperwork and it says thing like you need to have all your documents before your visa appointment including plane ticket. Well I can’t go without the visa so why would i get a plane ticket? Cart before the horse shit - it’s very french, wait until you hear about banks.
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