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seraphdreams · 5 hours

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GOT MILK? | TOJI FUSHIGURO.

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 — synopsis. what happens when you invite an unexpected guest into your home? lucky for you, this one cares about your health!

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 — cw. fem!reader / milkman!toji, smut, cliche porn trope, size kink, coercion, food play, a bit prey/predator dynamics, 1950s-esque setting, toji’s huge, unprotected “love-making”, mdni <3.

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 — word count. 3.3k

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 — dolled up! it’s been a while, hasn’t it? i’m so so sorry i’ve been away from writing :( but trust me, we’re so back !! this is actually my first full length toji fic n i’m so excited 4 you all to read it . . i wanted to keep it light and cliche for all of our pleasure. this took me about two months to write on n off, but !! if you like this n enjoy it, please comment / reblog ! i’ll make you all a glass of seraph’s special milk, thank u ♡ a big shoutout 2 @gh4ul for beta reading ! i love u so muchie!!

fluorescent shimmers of the setting sun pierced through your living room window, beyond pastel curtains, and onto the curvature of your face as if the sun itself used you like its own canvas while you lounged upon the couch. soft murmurs of whichever television show you had fallen asleep watching hummed within the four thin walls of your flat, creating the perfect ambiance for a peaceful late afternoon nap.

it wasn’t as though you had done much during the day, aside from indulging in your boredom with the mundane baking of cookies, taking two batches to get right, alongside tidying your room.

although currently, you slept soundly in a way that came off as daunting to others; torso clad in a thin tank top paired with little pink shorts that could’ve been mistaken for underwear by any onlooker, with your hand rested just below your abdomen, chest rising and falling in the most harmonious synchronicity.

vulnerable, like prey unknowing of its predator.

fortunately, the neighborhood you resided in was safe. some sweet suburban city where everyone knew each other more than they knew themselves, and the thought of anything being remotely out of place sent residents into a frenzy. it was innocuous to assume that not much out of the ordinary took place. or that was the case, until —

knock, knock.

“delivery for y/n?”

stirring in your sleep, you prayed that the owner of the baritone voice that had woken you up was just some figment of your imagination, some effect of unintended lucid dreaming perhaps. yet, upon blinking open unfocused, bleary eyes, and the loud couplet of knocks on the door following soon after, you were pulled out of dreamland and into the vexing reality.

three more firm knocks paired with a gruff tone calling out flatly, “delivery,” was enough to have your body sashaying involuntarily to your front door.

whoever was outside was insinstently persistent. if they had thought to put even an ounce more strength into those compact knocks, your door would have been long gone by now.

“coming!” the dulcet tone of your voice was riddled with exhaustion and you were unsure if the sound had resonated with the stranger on the other end, your internal query being answered once the relentless abuse of your front door had ceased.

you had ignored the fabric of your meager top, not quite noticing the way the strap so slightly dropped from your shoulder, leaving such a beautiful expanse of skin exposed to, and for, anyone. swiftly, you had opened the door for your unexpected visitor.

there, stood some dark haired man, taller and bigger than any other man you’ve known in the neighborhood. he must have had to be over 6’0, with a stature so broad, chiseling muscles barely hidden underneath the thin fabric of his uniform. his white hat tilted upward, and as your eyes descended, you caught his matching suit worn just a bit too taut. it was as if the first two buttons of his shirt were hanging on for dear life to cover what massive mounds his chest was. not to mention, how his thighs were close to breaking free from their confines.

to the right of the struggling buttons, sat a little pin that read “toji.”

he didn’t put any effort into a friendly introduction, the only hint of expression you could trace was the furrowing of his brows at his forehead as he gave you an unreadable stare.

“was told to drop this off here.” toji spoke. he held out a small wired basket with two glass jars of white liquid, seeming to be milk. maybe it had been your fuzzy, half-awake mind, and what little thoughts were up there, but you couldn’t recall a time where you had placed an order for some strange fluid.

was it a thing the neighborhood would do every once in a while?

as you rubbed the sleep from your eyes and gave the handsome stranger a soft pout, you spoke airily. “what’s in the jar, sir?”

his demeanor shifted into pure displeasure, not fancying the query your hollow brain came up with. it remained undoubtedly clear that he wasn’t the most amiable of folks.

“it’s milk, darling.”

“i didn’t order any milk, sorry.” that same pout remained on your lips as you shook your head for the milkman to end a seemingly quick conversation, but just as you were about to close the door back, the pressure of his strong hand against the wood made your attempt futile.

to your surprise, a miniscule smirk was evident on his scarred features. “no?” his narrowed eyes drank you in from the bottom up as if you were lemonade on a scorching summer’s day. those same eyes skillfully darting from the spill of your breasts in your little top, up to your pretty pursed lips and doe-like orbs.

anyone could tell from a mile away what type of girl you were — the type that toji devilishly enjoys.

it wasn’t often he was presented with a doll such as yourself. sure, he could pick the mind of others increasingly well, could tell just when someone was planning to set him up (like some sort of off-duty criminal) but with you, it was as though not a thought could be lodged behind vacant eyes. everything about you was pure, untainted.

he stepped closer toward you, his foot conveniently placed between the barrier between your home and the outside. “try it for yourself. it’s fresh, and organic.” as he spoke, the glint in his deep gray eyes had overturned into a sly darkness. and when you shook your head at his advance, he only scoffed, peering in closer until he fully stepped foot into your abode.

“oh, c’mon,” vexation laced his tone. “don’t make my job harder than it already is.”

his hauntingly large frame eclipsed yours, the sun casting a backlit shadow behind his silhouette, like something out of a 50’s horror film. at that moment, you were in no position to deny his simple request.

it was just milk, perhaps he wanted an honest review.

your eyes met his, and you swallowed thickly as you hoped that courage would fill the void in the pit of your stomach. “how much for a glass?” softly, your question floated in tense air. a smirk upticks on his face as he reaches into the basket, holding up the larger jar of the two settled in the basket.

“for you, it’s free of charge.”

maybe you should’ve questioned the insubstantial value, for nothing in this economy was truly ever free.

you take the bottle from him, popping open the lid and taking a sip. the unnerving feeling of greedy eyes caused goosebumps to form over your skin. the liquid certainly had a thicker texture to it, possibly an ode to its organic nature; and as you sipped and sipped, you failed to notice the drippage that rolled amply down the side of your mouth to your chest. toji, however, caught sight of it — because, of course he did.

after you had your sample size, you took a manicured thumb to glossy lips, wiping your bottom lip to collect the remnants before taking your tongue to your thumb to lick up the remains.

in that moment, you reminded him of a kitten, some meek animal vastly trusting of the others in its environment.

his smirk grew wider and he closed the door behind him as he stepped closer, now merely a few inches away from your figure. “oh, but miss,” his voice full with anything but a genuine concern for you, he traced his finger along the trail of milk that lingered at your chest. “you missed a spot.”

his sudden touch startled you in such a way that shifted your body to jolt once you felt his cool fingertips. that same motion forced you to completely forget about the open jar in your hand, accidentally spilling an even larger amount of milk all over yourself in the process.

drenched in the liquid, your top became practically see-through with only the sight of your pert nipples showing underneath. it's candy for the eye, toji’s at least.

“you gonna keep that on, princess? you’ll catch a cold.” his voice feigns concernment towards you, as if he pitied the pathetic state he put upon you. in that moment, sheepishness clouds your empty head, and if you could cower away, you would; but instead, you took him up on his suggestion, turning your back to him and doing away with the thin barrier.

“gimme a minute to change.” you shyly said as you looked back at him with a hand barely covering your chest.

how cute you were, so willing to invite a stranger into your home and even strip for him — were you always this welcoming?

before you could scuttle to your room, you felt a firm grip on your arm. toji, now clearly having fun with you, had given you a menacing smirk along with a tsk of his tongue. “you’re still all wet,” he turned you back around to face him in one swift motion. “let me clean you off.” his hand slowly trailed up your arm and to the swell of your breasts where he cupped one in his large, calloused palm. the feeling of his rough fingertips over your bare skin caused you to break out in a shudder. “s-sir, i don’t think..”

he shushed you the moment his thumb rolled over your hard nipple, milk still dripping down your skin. with one hand, he pulled you in tight by your waist, and with the other, he aided himself in wrapping his lips around your nipple. you could only describe his touch as hungry, rough as if the opportunity to take advantage of your vulnerability would slip away into thin air. he locked steel grey eyes with you as he did so. once he got his fill of toying with your sensitive mounds, he switched his sucking motions into little bites.

his deep groans and your soft whines filled the space instantaneously. he’d rotate from one breast to the other until he felt you growing weak in his hold, the squeeze of your thighs telling him everything he needed to know about your desire. and when he felt satisfied with the level at which he teased you, he unlatched.

it felt as if all air had rushed out of your system from the raspy whines you had let out during his ministrations. you took a moment to catch your breath and regain composure as he stood up tall to his original position.

oddly enough, comfortability grew within you, possibly the adrenaline of a handsome stranger feeding your mind with illicit thoughts. “am i all clean now?” your voice comes out shaky, feeble with lust, and as your eyes scanned his formidable appearance, down to the bulge that left his sheer size to anything but the imagination, you grew greedier.

“squeaky fucking clean.” his response comes off as a growl. “how about some real milk as a reward, sweetheart?”

you tilted your head, as a confused puppy would, looking up at him with spacey eyes. “real milk? i thought i was just drinking it?” he smiled at your perplexity, finding you too cute to let go. “that milk,” he pointed at the bottle you set on the counter beside you. “isn’t as organic as it claims. you need the real thing in ya.”

toji fumbles with his belt buckle, unfastening it until he could comfortably whip his cock out. you had never seen something so large, so girthy that it instilled a blend of fear and excitement within you. “on your knees, pretty thing.” he demanded. “gotta make sure my girl grows big and strong.”

you complied, obviously. when someone as sturdy as him tells you to do something, it’s only natural that you do it.

with your weight now rested on your knees, your job was easy. you wrapped a feeble hand around the base of his cock, mouth agape in bewilderment that he could barely fit in the cusp of your hand. toji let out a hiss under his breath once your hand began to diligently slide up and down his shaft. slick dribbled into the rapture of your enclosed fist from just how turned on he was. as you continued to teasingly pump him, your tongue darted to place gentle kitten licks paired with tender kisses to his angry tip. “you’re real confident now, aren’t ya?” he goads, though not necessarily in a mirthful manner.

a soft pout forms at your lips upon hearing his words, urging you to increase your pace by a minuscule amount. once you had gotten familiar with the monster in your palm, you wrapped your lips around the head, slowly inching yourself down his shaft until your nose met the unruly hairs of his pelvis. he was heavy in your jaw, a telltale sign that you’d end up with a strong ache that’d take days to soothe; and the throb of his length only led to the gush in your panties.

as you began to bob your head, toji threw his head back, large hands gripping at your jaw to keep you nice and puckered for him. the sensation of his plush tip bullying the back of your throat causes you to moan, a sound, and a feeling, that toji doesn't miss. you pick up your rhythm, but shortly after, toji starts up his; slamming his cock into your unexpecting mouth with no remorse.

rough ministrations urged you to gag until you came to ignore the feeling and focus on his pleasure, innocent and teary eyes showing through a wall of thick lashes up at him. what a cocky bastard.

“c’mon, you can take more, can’t ya?” he goads, his vocables resonating in a choppy cadence underneath the guise of his groans. “dontcha want milk?”

the mix of saliva and his precum trailed from your mouth as his heavy balls slammed against your chin. you took notice of how his vigorous pace faltered, signally an orgasm just seconds away.

one thrust. two thrust. three.

he’d managed to hold your face to his pelvis as he fucked through his orgasm, a deep groan bellowing through the air while he painted your throat in his seed.

what a liar. he didn’t taste anything like milk.

slowly, he pulls away and spurts the last few drops of cum onto your swollen lips, where he took much needed amusement in your starry eyed gaze.

your heavy pants were like music to his ears, something he wished he could etch into his memory for years to come.

“it’s all messy.” you mewled, licking at the seed that dripped to your lips. his hands were glacial as you felt them on your face while he leaned down to be eye level with you. “oh, i know. lemme take care of that.” he swiped his tongue against your bottom lip, drinking in his own orgasm before taking you into a heated kiss.

it was a brief moment, so brief you were too lightheaded to even realize how he manhandled you into the perfect position — bent over to touch your toes.

he pulled away, roughly tugging at your little shorts until they pooled at your ankles. you felt him slide his cock over your panties just before pushing them to the side to line it up with your slit.

all toji wanted to do in that moment was slide right in, but he knew he couldn’t. you just weren’t wet enough to handle all of him. and besides, he definitely didn’t want to deal with a whining princess suggesting that it “doesn’t fit.”

instead, he slid his sensitive cock between your folds. “gotta get you nice ‘nd ready,” he spoke while reveling in the way that his tip catched at your poor, neglected clit. “feel flattered, i don’t do this for everybody.”

each slide jolted your body as the slightest tinge of pleasure coursed within you. it wasn’t enough to get you feeling close, no, but it was ample in gushing more slick from your hole.

“t-toji, sir, please..” you had let out a soft, vexed sigh at the lack of feeling, wiggling your hips to create friction in any type of way.

it reigned pointless, as most things did with toji. he was too busy focused on the sheen covering his cock from just toying with your angelcunt that whatever nonsense you were spouting was irrelevant to him. he continued his motions until the tightening of your core and fluttering of your pussy told him everything he needed to know.

satisfied with the level at which he teased you, he halted. just before you could fucking cum. you let out a frustrated whine that didn’t mean much to him, agitated by the loss of sensation.

in mere moments, he was pushing himself past your walls, stretching you out while your little cunt struggled to accommodate his size. “w-what if it doesn’t fit..?” you managed to babble out in your pathetic state.

oh, if your nosy neighbors knew that sweet little princess down the street was getting her cunt stretched out by the milkman, they would have a conniption.

toji smirked at your concern, ultimately brushing you off while continuing to urge himself even deeper. “let’s just make it fit then.”

the feeling of being stuffed full was unlike anything you’d experienced in the past. your past partners weren’t much to moan at, but toji? he had you grasping at any surface to give you leverage. as soon as he bottomed out, you could feel the tip rubbing so deliciously against the hollow of your cervix, the tinge of pain going unnoticed from how riddled with desire you were for him. with confirmation that he was fully inside, toji began to set a rough pace, strokes deep and firm enough to have you jolting forward with every thrust.

you scrambled to hold onto anything for dear life, afraid that your knees would grow weak and give out underneath your own weight. though, he kept his hands taut at your hips, only speeding up his potent thrusts to taunt you even more for your lack of stability.

fucked dumb within the first few seconds, drool dribbled past your lip, your eyes rolled into the back of your skull as you tried to take everything you were given.

with the intense way your walls were hugging around his cock, he couldn’t help but let out something of a deep, guttural groan. you had reached behind you to press a feeble hand to his abdomen, hoping it would ease his ministrations, yet your adorable action only caused the opposite.

he took your wrists in his one hand, pulling you up to hit deeper within your walls. “fuck! ‘s too d-deep!” you cried out, that familiar coil of pleasure tightening within your being, and to your dismay, he only held you closer against his chest, other hand gripping at your jaw while his cock milked your gspot for all it’s worth.

“too deep? this too deep for ya?” toji taunts. “i thought you knew how to take dick, you sure looked like it.”

his grip at your face only tighten an ounce more as he waited for whatever nonsense you could muster out.

“i-i can..! i c’n take it!”

only seconds later did your high come crashing down, sending your body into a flutter of shocks. a sensation so perfervid, it had your mind hazy while you creamed all over his cock.

following suit, in a bout of thrusts, toji was painting your insides with his warm wet seed, only pulling out once he felt you go limp in his hold.

“don’t tap out on me now, you haven’t even paid for the milk.”

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chukys-mouthguard · 2 days

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Kinda Tempting pt. 2

Featuring: matt rempe x female reader x mat barzal

Genre: fluff, angst, little bit of smut

Note: i tried my best to refer to rempe as matthew to limit possible confusion of the guys…this was rewritten like 6 times, not entirely happy with it but I know y’all have been asking for part 2 😅🫶🏼 tried to make it so this could continue and we could see both sides of this story

Part 1

“Mmmmm.”

The sun was shining just enough in your eyes to wake you up, immediately making you regret not remembering to close the blinds before going to bed. Though you were a bit preoccupied to remember, chuckling to yourself as you looked at the 6 foot 8 sleeping giant next to you. Now taking notice of his cut up knuckles from yesterday's fight, lightly tracing your fingers over the marks. Earning a soft groan from Matthew.

His eyes fluttering open as he smiled at you, “good morning sunshine,” he stretched as he rolled onto his side, “good morning to you pretty lady.” A smile now on his face as he curled up with his pillow, looking up at you and studying the conflicted look on your face.

“What is it?”

Shaking your head you got up with a sigh, searching for a hoodie to throw on before rejoining him on your bed. “I’m just, thinking.”

“Let me guess….you regret last night?” His words came out with a playful tone, though his face showed a bit of sadness as he sat up and rested his back against your headboard. “Look if I convinced you to do something you didn’t really want to do, and I stirred up a bunch of shit now for you to deal with. I’m sorry, I truly didn’t mean for any of that to happen I just-“

“No, that’s the thing. I don’t regret it. But I feel bad for not regretting it. Am I a shitty person for that?” Matthew laughed along with you as he shrugged.

“I mean, I don’t think you’re a shitty person. I think you’re just, conflicted. I think you’re an amazing girl who is being strung along by her boyfriend, not knowing what the fuck the deal is. Waiting for the day he somehow magically turns back into the guy she fell in love with. But I don’t think that day is coming unfortunately.”

His fingers now entangling with yours as you took in his thoughts.

“I think, you’re unsure what to do. I think your head is telling you one thing, and your heart another. Personally, I don’t know the reason why you won’t leave him. And maybe that’s not for me to know. But I think you deserve so much more. I think you could do better, be happier, be with someone who isn’t gonna be another Mat Barzal.”

“And that’s you?”

Your tone catching him off guard a bit, but he laughed it off. “I’m not saying that, and I’m not saying any of this to try and get you to leave Mat for me. I’m sure you might be thinking I’m that kind of guy right now, especially after last night, but I’m not. I simply am saying this as a guy who thinks it would be an honor to call you his girlfriend. A guy who would take every opportunity to show you how amazing you are. To never make you feel the way you do right now being with Mat. But by no means am I trying to get you to leave him for me. Because I don’t think I need to convince you to do that.”

Just as you opened your mouth to challenge his cocky statement, your phone buzzed on the bed.

“It’s him…” Matthew gesturing for you to answer the call as he got up to get dressed.

“Hello?”

“Hey, sorry about yesterday. Just, wasn’t a good day. You know how it is. But um, I kind of realize I’ve not been the best boyfriend lately. And, I feel like I need to make it up to you.”

While you wanted to believe that he was being genuine, you’d heard this from Mat before. He’d apologize, be a better guy for a few days, then things would end up right back where they were.

“Let’s go grab lunch, maybe do some shopping. Spend the day together and make up for the last few months we’ve been apart.”

Matthew was mouthing the words go for it, and you rolled your eyes at him. His words still on your mind, not sure why you were still going to entertain fixing things with Mat if you just fucked another guy behind his back.

“Um, yeah sure.”

“Yeah? Great! I’ll be at your place in like an hour?”

“Sounds good. See you soon.”

Hanging up the phone you flopped down on your bed face first. “What’s the matter now?” Matthew laughed as he belly flopped onto the bed next to you, trying his best to make you laugh or smile.

“What the fuck do I do? He wants to make up for being absent and everything, and you’re over here telling me I shouldn’t entertain it!”

Matthew put his hands up in protest, “now wait a minute i didn’t say don’t entertain it. I simply am saying to be cautious and look out for yourself. Because, after the way you two interacted yesterday, I just think he’s full of it. But I could be wrong, and this lunch date could change everything. I don’t know. I simply am speaking as someone who cares. I want the best for you, and if that’s him, then great. I’ll still be here for the days you need to cry, or vent, or need to have some fun.”

He shot you a wink as his signature cocky grin found its place on his lips and you shook your head. “Matthew Rempe, you are not going to be some side piece for me while I figure out my relationship.” Standing up you headed to the bathroom to start getting ready for your date with Mat.

“And why’s that?” He called after you, leaning in the doorway as you pulled your makeup bag out from under your sink. “Because, you’re a human being, you have feelings. And I’m not just going to use you like that.”

He stepped in front of you, stealing your attention as he brushed your hair from your face. “But what if I’m okay with it?”

“You are really something else you know that?”

He shrugged as he stole a kiss from your lips.

“Well you make it really easy for me to make bad decisions.” He winked at you, stealing another kiss before heading to the kitchen to grab his keys.

“So you’re saying this is a bad decision?” You gestured to the two of you with your makeup brush. “Maybe, call me after lunch and tell me if you think so.”

He closed the door behind him and you let out a groan, not enjoying the position you were in at all. On one hand, your boyfriend of 2 years who was your first love. But who has checked out and left you feeling like it was time to walk away. Then on the flip side, a younger and wild Rempe, who knew what he wanted and didn’t hide it. Which you appreciated, and found quite hot. But how do you just up and leave Mat, and did you want to? None of this was fair to him, but then again, the way you’ve been strung along all these months not knowing where the two of you stand wasn’t fair either.

“Hey babe.”

Mat smiled at you as you climbed into his BMW. “Hey,” You flashed a smile as he leaned in to give you a kiss, “don’t you look handsome.”

He shrugged, “wanted to look good for you I guess. So what are we feeling, Italian? Mexican? A burger and fries?” Buckling your seatbelt you told yourself to listen to Matthew, let this date happen how it’s meant to happen. Don’t force anything one way or the other, let whatever the hell is gonna happen, happen. “Well we both know you’re always in the mood for Italian.”

“I’m a sucker for the carbs what can i say. Plus a glass of wine doesn’t sound too awful right now.”

His hand resting on the gear shift as he pulled out of the parking garage. The drive to the restaurant quiet, the result of you two being apart for so long that it was almost awkward between you two.

So far, your brain was telling you this wasn’t a good sign that this date was magically going to fix things.

“So, how late did you stay up doing your stuff last night?” Mat asking from behind his wine glass as you chuckled. “Um my job? I was up pretty late doing that stuff. Couldn’t even tell you how long I edited for last night.” Your voice trailing off as you sipped your wine, your palms sweaty just thinking about the secret you were hiding from him.

“I believe it, probably had a ton of footage to sift through.” He didn’t even make eye content when talking to you, glancing over the menu as you rested your chin on your fist with a sigh. “Plus I had extra clips to edit of Matt Rempe since it was his debut and everything.”

Mat laughed as he nodded, “Yeah that kid is something else. A fight his first shift, probably gonna end up with more penalty minutes than minutes on ice this season. That is if he lasts.” You were a bit surprised by his comments, Mat never the type to shit talk other guys in the league. “Hey, he earned his spot yesterday and he’s gonna keep working hard to stay up here. He’s a great guy. I personally think you’d like him, if you got to know him versus judging him…”

Your voice trailed off as your server brought your food. “Okay, no more hockey talk. Where shall I take you shopping? Need a new purse? Some shoes? I know you never turn down shoes.” He smiled at you as he wiped the pasta sauce from his chin.

This was always Mat’s way of fixing things. He loved to shop, both for you and for himself. So anytime he felt like he’d fucked up, his solution was to buy you everything you wanted without checking a price tag. But the material things never actually addressing the root of the problem that was there to begin with. Simply covering it up with new shoes, a new jacket, or purse.

“I don’t care, wherever is fine. Nothing I really need if I’m honest.” Your tone caught him off guard, at this point you were over this lunch date. Wishing you hadn’t even thought for a second that things were going to get better. “Okay, do you want to just go home and watch a movie or something? Since shopping doesn’t seem to be a good idea today.”

“Sure, a movie is fine.”

Mat decided for the two of you to head back to his place, due to traffic being crazy heading in the direction of your apartment. The car ride once again quiet, Mat a bit unsure what to talk about. He’d offended you when talking about your job and judging Rempe. Shopping normally be something you liked to do with him, but that too seemed to be a bad idea.

It wasn’t that he was on oblivious to the fact that things between you two were different, he just didn’t know why or how he could fix it. Feeling like it was a battle he’d already lost in your eyes. And no matter how hard he might try to prove to you he was still willing to fight, you’d just blow him off. Already moved on in your mind.

“Wow, someone has been decorating. Who helped you with this?” You looked around his apartment shocked, never knowing Mat to be a good decorator. “Well thanks, I didn’t think I sucked that bad at interior design. I maybe had a little help, but for the most part it was all me.”

He smiled proud as he grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses.

“So, what movie are you thinking?”

Taking your glass you shrugged, “surprise me? You’re better at picking movies than me.” Mat laughing as he placed the stopper back in the bottle. “This is true, let me take a quick look at our options.”

Subconsciously you had practically chugged your glass of wine, your nerves rampant as you didn’t know what the hell you were doing. Clearly you were unhappy, this date not going at all how you hoped. You still were holding out hope, but the more and more Mat didn’t talk to you or kept conversation short, the more your thoughts were racing.

“Do you still love me?”

Mat snapped his head to you, almost laughing as he couldn’t believe you’d asked such a thing. Almost shocked a bit yourself at your boldness to just come right out and say that. “Um, yes? Why would you even ask that?”

“When’s the last time you said it? Do you realize what I’ve been going through these last few months? Hell let’s just say the whole last year. I barely see you! We barely speak, and lord knows we haven’t had sex in months. Not that it matters that much, but we both know you like sex. So the fact we haven’t even done that…Like, are you just waiting for me to breakup with you? Or am I supposed to just wait around for you to start acting like the man I fell in love with again?”

He set his wine glass down, trying to figure out what to say. Feeling like no matter what he said at this point it would probably come across like an excuse.

“I, I don’t know what to say. Because, I don’t have a good enough reason for why I’ve been acting this way. And, you’re right. You don’t deserve this. Maybe, you should’ve given up on me a long time ago. I don’t know y/n, I can’t lie to you and say I don’t notice that it’s different. But I also don’t know what to do to fix it.”

“Kiss me! Hold me! Tell me you love me. Get excited to see me after months of hardly talking. There’s plenty of things you could do. The answer isn’t to treat me to lunch and take me shopping. I don’t need food and clothes, I need my boyfriend. I need to feel like you love me. Like you miss me.”

“And you don’t think I feel that way?”

His tone coming out hurt, his hands running through his hair as he tried to think of a response.

“Notice how you haven’t said it once. Even when I point it out, you say yes and agree, but you haven’t once said it to me. And that speaks volumes.”

Grabbing your phone and purse you headed for the door, Mat quickly running to stop you. “Now wait a minute, I get I’ve been absent and not the same guy I used to be, but I’ve never been the type to let you walk out like this. Please, talk to me. Help me understand what you need from me so we can make things work.”

Retreating to the couch, you sat down with a sigh, not sure what to say. “Mat, I shouldn’t have to tell you what I need. You’re my boyfriend. We’ve been together long enough that you should know me better than this. If you’ve fallen out of love with me, then tell me. If you’ve been seeing other people, then tell me. But please don’t keep stringing me along when it’s clear this isn’t working for us right now.”

He looked at you shocked, the assumption he was cheating hitting him like a train in his chest. “You’re joking? You think I’ve been cheating on you? Please y/n, that’s ridiculous. Where is all of this coming from? You say that I’m no longer the guy you fell in love with, but you’re starting to give me the same energy. I’ve never heard you talk like this…maybe you’re the one seeing other people?”

Stopping in your tracks you looked at him shocked, a slight chuckle leaving his lips as you tried to formulate a thought. “Yeah, doesn’t feel good being accused of that does it?”

“Of course not! No one ever wants to be accused of something like that. You know I love you, I’ve stuck by your side through so much. And I’m sorry if I’ve felt shut out or neglected. But I don’t understand what’s changed, why you won’t make time for me and prove to me that this relationship isn’t lost?”

Mat looked to the floor as he shook his head, acknowledging the things you’d said. Realizing that you were right, things had changed. And maybe he was too focused on his job that he refused to believe he’d dropped the ball.

The two of you stood in silence for a moment, you sniffled as he walked toward you, wrapping you in a hug. Your body completely relaxing in his embrace, this hug was just like you’d remembered. It was what you needed, to feel him hold you tight and reassure you things were okay.

He took your face in his hands, resting his forehead on yours as he softly kissed you. “I fucking love you, and I don’t want to be with anyone else. I don’t want to lose you. I will do whatever I have to, to prove to you that you’re it for me y/n. I’m sorry you’ve felt like I don’t care or don’t love you.”

Your hands anxiously pulling at the hem of his shirt, this was what you’d wanted, needed to hear from him. But at the same time, a part of you wished he would’ve said the opposite. Despite Matthew wanting you to try and make things work with Mat, you knew deep down he wanted things to end. He wanted to be with you, but his heart wasn’t going to let him come between you and another man. That wasn’t the type of guy he was, despite his willingness to see you behind closed doors while you figured your shit out.

“Please, just don’t walk out on me tonight. Stay with me, let me make this right between us.”

Simply nodding your head, Mat had convinced you. His lips crashing to yours as he lifted you off your feet, carrying you down the hall to his bedroom before tossing you on the bed.

He gazed down at you as he pulled his shirt off with a cocky grin, before lowering himself on top of you to bring your lips back to his. “I fucking missed you baby.”

Arching your back against him you moaned into the kiss, your skin practically on fire from his touch. Something you’d been deprived of for so long.

“God I missed you Mat.”

Your thoughts racing as you tried your best to just focus on the moment, ignoring any doubts or worries about Matthew. Mat was your boyfriend, this was the man you loved.

The two of you couldn’t get enough of each other, hands grazing every inch of one another as you both were short of breath. It was as if it were the first time you two were having sex, having to learn what each other liked, explore each other features again.

Mat normally loving to tease you and make you beg, but not tonight. Tonight he needed to show you how much he loved you, how much he cared, how sorry he was for being such an asshole to you. Yet you stuck by his side, and he’d loved you so much for that.

You’d tried to get Mat on his back so you could take some control, but he playfully pinned your arms above your head. “Not tonight baby girl, let me take care of you.”

His words sending shivers down your spine as he sat up, undoing his belt buckle then forcing his pants and briefs down in one motion. You’re gaze not leaving his as his hands traced up your legs, fingers hooking into the waistband of your leggings, pulling them off and tossing them across the room along with your panties.

“Mat, hurry up. A girl has gone months without this, I can’t wait much longer.”

Smirking down at you, he stroked himself as he teased your slit, groaning at how wet you already were. “Fuck baby, I missed how wet you get for me.” Without warning he thrusts into you, the two of you moaning at the feeling, expletives leaving your lips as you feel yourself adjusting to him. Wrapping your legs around him as he slowly began picking up the pace, your nails digging into the skin of his back as your lips longed for his. The kisses not deep enough, thrusts not hard enough, the two of you needing even more.

“Baby, I’m not going to last much longer. You feel so fucking good.”

“Cum for me Mat, please. I’m so close.”

His thrusts quick and sloppy, his breaths shorter as he cursed against your skin. A low groan leaving his lips as he came, the two of you sweaty and exhausted as you tried to collect yourselves.

“Fuck…now tell me why we haven’t done that in months?”

Mat smirked at you as he stood up, leaving to go start the shower before coming back and lifting you off the bed. “Alright, now let’s get you cleaned up.” He pressed a kiss to your lips as he carried you bridal style into the bathroom. The two of you rinsing off before climbing back into bed.

You threw on one of Mat’s t-shirts as he pulled on a pair of sweats. Laying down and holding his arm out for you to find your spot next to him. Fingers intertwining with yours as you lay your head on his chest.

“I missed this, so much.”

You felt him smile at your words, kissing your head as he agreed. “Me too baby girl. And I’m sorry you ever thought I didn’t want this with you anymore.”

The room fell silent as you were content just enjoying feeling normal again, like you’d finally gotten back to where you’d been needing to be. In your head, thanking Matthew for convincing you to even go out on the date with Mat to begin with. For convincing you to see what would happen.

Though a part of you knew it would hurt him to know you were back on good terms. Despite him saying he hoped things would work out, you knew he would still be heartbroken to know you and Mat were making it work.

“Y/n?”

The tone is Mat’s voice slightly changing, catching you off guard as you hummed a response, letting him know you were listening.

“I really am going to be better. Make more of an effort, whether that be calls, or driving to see you more often. I’m going to be better. I don’t want you to ever have to wonder if I’m missing you, if I still love you, or god forbid if I’m cheating on you.”

Your heart sinking at having accused him of the very thing you’d done just the night before. When here he was, trying to prove to you he’d just been distant, but he never lost his love for you.

“I know, I hear everything you’re saying. And I appreciate it, more than you know.”

He’d gone silent for a moment once again, you could sense he was thinking, hearing his heart racing as you laid on his chest. Soon enough, he shot up, moving to sit in front of you. Catching you off guard as you looked at him confused.

“What is it?”

Mat took your hands in his, practically choking on his own tongue as he couldn’t get his words out.

“You’re gonna think I’m crazy, but just hear me out.” Staring at him you were unsure of what you should be expecting him to say. Already happy enough with the fact that you’d, fingers crossed, gotten your boyfriend back. What else could he say now?

“I have loved you from the first day you’d found me at the rink, and shoved your phone in my face asking me to be a part of one of those dumb Tik Tok challenges. You didn’t give a fuck about who I was, just doing your job. And to be honest, that made me want to chase you even harder. Because you weren’t one of those girls who wanted me because of my looks. Or because I was a hockey player. You got to know me for who I was, and you took the time to see me for more than Mat Barzal of the New York Islanders.”

He smiled at you as he continued on, your mind and heart both racing as you couldn’t foresee the end of his sudden heartfelt moment.

“It breaks my heart you’ve felt alone for the last year. That you felt I had fallen out of love with you. But I promise, there would never be anything that could make me fall out of love with you y/n. And, I know you’re going to think I’m crazy when I ask this, but I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

He briefly looked down at your hands in his, taking a deep breath as if to gain the confidence to finally spit out the words he’d been stalling from saying.

“Will you make me the happiest man in the world, and marry me?”

#matt rempe #nhl imagine #matt rempe fic #nhl fanfiction #nhl fics #hockey fic #hockey imagine #matt rempe imagine #mat barzal fic #mat barzal x reader #mat barzal imagine

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 day

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AITA? I tried to ruin a small business's reputation.

[20F] I went to a clothing store in which they sew the clothes themselves. There is a number of designs and colors you could choose from and if your size isn't available or you wanted to add your own spin on it, they can make one on request but it's basically 40% more expensive. And you're supposed to pay percentage of the price as a down payment in case they make the dress and you fail to pick it up.

Such businesses are common in my country and it was my first time going to this particular place. I'm plus size and tend to have the clothes tailored to my specific size because my size is rare.

Anyway, there was a very killer design that I loved for an outfit that was basically a skirt and a lab coat sorta look. I tried the available size but it was too tight on me so I asked them make one with my measurements and while I was at it, I chose the blue color which is my favorite. 💙 I clearly said blue and nodded when they grabbed the blue fabric. The outfit costs what would be about 120$ and I foolishly chose to pay around 80$ because I didn't have change on me and down payments are cash only, they don't accept credit cards. And by the way, that's a LOT of money in our currency but I thought nothing of it as I was never let down before by these businesses and I needed the outfit to be more comfortable at work.

Not sure what happened but when I came to pick it up, the outfit was gray. 👎 I said that wasn't what I ordered and the cashier gaslighted me into believing I chose gray and for a split second I started believing I somehow chose gray because the blue fabric was kinda pale, then I noticed the pale blue fabric right behind the gray one and pointed at it telling them it was my order and I stood my ground and insisted my order was blue. We kept arguing back and fourth and I told her to make another one. She refused because "the business will lose if they do that." I said that's not my problem and I want the blue outfit, they can put this one for sale to mitigate the loss. She refused because they will have to sell it for a cheaper price plus I was too fat and nobody will probably look for this specific size and once again said it wasn't my problem. She said it was criminal of me to deny "a perfectly great outfit" just based on its color and I told her blue was my favorite color and I refuse to leave without them agreeing to make a new order order, I certainly would have just left if I haven't paid that down payment.

Then she decided to pin the blame of her mistake (she was the one who took my order) on the expat tailor and tried to make him responsible for paying for the difference. I was unsure of what to do and I didn't want the poor overworked guy to pick the slack for someone else but at the same time I wanted the blue outfit. Seeing that I was firm she basically said she would give me a discount. I refused multiple times while she insisted.

Honestly I'm a socially anxious weak pushover that only very recently started learning and practicing to stand on my own that I was surprised I had stayed firm during this whole ordeal, but I was reaching a limit and the employee was clearly stronger than me. She wore me out and basically got me to accept the discount against my will. The discount was only about 15$ and I left very unsatisfied and upset. I complained go my sister who was with me when I made the order and she told me I was absolutely scammed and she wished she was there when I picked it up to stand up for me. I felt upset and taken advantage of, I was too disgusted by the outfit and I ended up only wearing it twice. I have no problem with gray by itself but this whole experience absolutely ruined it for me and I relapsed into feeling absolutely weak and useless like I used to be my whole life.

Apologies if I had done any AH move so far but if there was, I think I was justified but here's the AITA part of the story: in my frustration I opened their Google page to write a bad review but was shocked the page didn't even exist so I turned to their Anstagram page and I wrote several bad reviews and complains ON EVERY SINGLE POST THEY MADE. I wanted people to be aware of the problem. I also told everyone I knew. I say "tried" in the title because my attempt didn't even impact them, they didn't bother contacting me after I spammed their page with probably 40 negative comments and the business is still going strong.

AITA?

#aita #am i the asshole

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grind-pantera · 2 days

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If reader survived such an accident, he would make sure that whenever she would travel alone, his eagle would accompany her (wether she knew it or not).

I'm almost.... oh my god okay okay okay okay okay listen you tempted me with this i need to do it for the greater good

Noa, Eagle Sun / Reader Headcanons - Interactions.

Your relationship with Eagle Sun started out the same way that the Eagle's relationship was with Noa at the start of the movie. Very rough around the edges, the bird was very unsure of you, not sure how to view your relationship with his Master. He clawed at you a few times out of defense when you got too close to Noa when he was perched on his shoulder; sensing it to be a threat rather than you just wanting to embrace the Ape. You swore that bird was never going to hear the end of it from Noa as he scolded him like a child. ~*You felt so bad for him and tried to pet his beak after Noa told him to back off ( in simple terms ) but he just squawked loudly and you were fast to hide behind Anaya and Soona who were watching the entire thing happen with the utmost amusement. He flapped his wings in your general direction again causing you to cower even further. ~*Followed by more scolding from Noa as he tried his hardest to explain to the bird that you were not a threat, you were more than allowed to be in Noa's space. He just blinked innocently - those little beady eyes staring holes into you.

It didn't take long for him to warm up to you though; you offered him a bit of fish once and he took it graciously. Noa told you not to do that, but you did it anyway.

Began bringing you berries to eat as an acceptance of you, an acknowledgment of the treat you had given him. Noa thought it was nice until he was absolutely nailed between the eyes by a rather quickly flying blueberry.

He began following you happily at that point, surely from Noa's commands, but he was a happy bird regardless. All around the village, in the woods, by the creek. Eagle Sun very often was either over head soaring or perched against a tree branch, you in his sight. ~* It just meant that you were trusted, good natured and more than decent to follow around - Noa had told you how intuitive the birds were and you accepted his following as a small compliment in Eagle form.

If you were with Noa, Eagle Sun was often sitting on his Master's shoulder, peering at you, waiting diligently for a command from Noa. If there were no immediate commands, Eagle Sun would jump over to you, never on you, but right in front of you and beckon you to pet. ~* You comply, placing a pointer and middle finger against the birds head and giving him a small pet. He's responsive, will peck at your fingers for more if you pull away too soon. ~* Noa could have sworn that one time while you were giving some affection to his bird that Eagle Sun looked right at him and almost mocked him. Noa told you of this but you told him it simply wasn't true. That he must have been imagining things.

The first time that Eagle Sun ever landed on you was in part to Noa who urged you to try it out - Hopeful to see if you were comfortable with it. He just got out of a council meeting where the prospect of you getting your own Eagle, to be bonded with an egg, was a hot topic of conversation. First though, before the final decision was made, Noa needed to see if you had any fear ( much like the fear Noa had at the beginning. ) ~* Eagle Sun did not land on your arm like you had hoped - He landed on your shoulder, placing himself rather precariously on you to the point where he shuttered for balance. His tiny claws grasped onto you a bit harder than you would have liked- but not enough to draw blood yet. His tiny beak went down, then back up with a few strands of your hair. You didn't move, you couldn't as your eyes shifted to Noa, Anaya and Soona. You questioned with your eyes what you were supposed to do- You had no idea why he landed there when you had so diligently offered your arm. Well, Noa thinks to himself, at least you're not afraid of him anymore.

#noa #noa x reader #noa pota #planet of the apes #planet of the apes x reader #emmy writes #a blurb lol #eagle sun

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untilwedont · 3 days

Text

Aren’t I The Greatest?

pairings; jj maybank x m!reader

genre; angst

unrequited love w/ JJ

~~~

why the hell did I just see full blown boobs in the gifs 💀

~~~

everyone told you JJ wasn’t as warm-hearted as he deemed to be. It should’ve been obvious based on all his past hookups- hookup with them then completely ghost them afterwards. But when he had confessed his feelings towards you, you thought things would be different. That’d he’d actually stick around— and he did.. for the most part.

He tried loving you. He wanted to start something new instead of just constant hookups, which is why he brought you into his life. Except, JJ was so obviously not cut out for a relationship..

for the first couple months, his love for you was through the roof. You couldn’t have been more happier..- until you weren’t. Over the past few months, his love for you had seemed to drain. That sparkle in his eye for you just seemingly went away, no matter how hard you tried to get it back.

—~

looking at yourself in the mirror, you put on a seductive outfit, in hopes of getting something out of JJ. You stared at yourself for a good couple of minutes, taking in your features— the dark bags slowly forming under your eyes from constantly staying up all night.

In these times, you felt the most lonely. The boy you once loved— and still do, was falling out of love with you.

with a small sigh, you walked out the bathroom, over to where JJ was, which happened to be the kitchen. “J, do you think this outfit looks nice on me?” You asked, a little hesitantly as you walked up to him. You tried being cute, but instead of a smile or a compliment, JJ eyed you up and down. “yeah, you look fine.” He said blankly, giving you what was barely a smile before walking off.

you frowned, looking down at the floor, biting your lip. God, all that work and yet he still couldn’t care about seeing you naked- or at least half naked. After a minute, you walked back to your shared bedroom, throwing off clothes you had on. Sitting on the edge of the bed, you ran your fingers along your face, up to your hair. Tears threatened to fall out as you stared down at the floor, wondering what went wrong.

—~

though, this was just one of many failed interactions you had with JJ..

—~

Your anniversary with JJ had been coming up. It was a year of being together, and though your guys’ relationship was rocky, you still made it an effort to get him a gift..- in hopes that he’d get you one as well.

you admired the ring you’d gotten JJ, both your initials carved into it. You covered the ring back up before heading off to find JJ. After a while of looking, you managed to find him near the beach alone, sitting down on the sand.

you hid his gift behind your back before walking up to him. “J?” You called out softly, seeing his soft blue eyes head to the sound of your voice. “oh, uh.. hey.” He said, getting up from the sand to face you. He stood there awkwardly and quietly, waiting for you to speak. After realizing he wasn’t gonna say anything you, you spoke up. “do.. do you know what day it is?” You asked, hopeful, but also had a doubtful feeling he’d know.

“erm.. monday..?” He asked, a bit confused and unsure. You frowned, but quickly smiled a little once more. “no, silly.. its our anniversary..! remember?” you replied, finally revealing the gift you had behind your back. “and, i got you a little gift.” you said, with a smile and hopeful eyes.

“o-oh.. uh, yeah.. yeah, I remember.” He said with a small cough, scratching the back of his neck. “well, here.. I got you a gift to show my love for you!” You said, holding the gift out, waiting for him to reach it. “oh.. uhm, thanks..” he said, giving you a half smile before taking the gift from your hands. You smiled with anticipation, waiting for him to open the gift. “I.. I hope you like it.” You said as he opened the gift, taking the ring out.

“yeah.. its uh.. its great, m/n.” he said, not bothering to put the ring on, instead storing it back where he grabbed it. “I uh.. didn’t get you anything.” He spoke. He fiddled a little with his hands, his demeanor off- like he didn’t want to be around you. “o-oh.. its okay!” You said, although you felt your heart dwell. “Being with you is a gift itself.. I really hope you know how much I love you, J..” You said, trying to keep the mood bright.

“yeah.. same here. Listen, i uh, gotta go. I’ll see you later, m/n.” He said rather quickly, giving you another half smile before walking away, not leaving you a chance to speak. You look at him as he walked away, your smile dropping as you tried to stop yourself from crying.

all your love and patience being wasted on a man who couldn’t bother to reciprocate those feelings. all your hardwork to try to keep the relationship going continues to be unappreciated. and yet, you continue to stay. In hopes that one day that spark he had for you will come back.

#male reader #gay #malereader #male!reader #malereaderinsert #jj maybank x male reader #outerbanks x male reader #jj maybanks #outerbanks #jj maybanks imagine

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fieldofdaisiies · 2 days

Text

Modern AU based on Blue Neighbour by Troye Sivan. Eris and Azriel used to be childhood best friends and in their teens they discovered they have feelings for each other. Beron found out about them and punished Eris and forced him to break the contact with Azriel. But when Beron dies years after, Azriel… songs used for this story: Wild, Fools, Talk Me Down, Youth, Rush, One of Your Girls (all from Troye Sivan) for @azrisweek | azrisweek masterlist | read on ao3 | includes explicit content

A loud, buzzing sound rings out in the otherwise silent meeting room. Azriel's hand immediately slams down on his thigh, trying to press the silent button of his phone through his suit pants — without success. He needs to pull it out, which is something Rhysand, his boss, doesn't like to see at all.

The phone is in Azriel's hand for a mere second when Rhys's voice echoes through the meeting room, his gaze stern when it lands on Azriel, "No phones in the meeting room!"

I guess that rule doesn't apply to everyone here because when the baby daddy gets sent a photo from little Nyx, he is rather quick to check his phone, completely ignorant to the no-phone rule, Azriel thinks, but doesn't dare voice.

He only tips his chin at his best friend and slides his phone back into the pocket of his pants, only for it to resume its vibration against his leg.

Rhys' gaze is still on him, still stern and slightly reprimanding. Azriel decides not to risk it and wait until the end of the meeting. The call can't be that important, can it?

Later, Azriel learns that he was wrong. The call was important, and the news he learns from the accompanying text messages pulls the rug out from beneath his feet.

Two missed calls and a message appear on his screen alongside some Instagram notifications that now seem very irrelevant. Azriel enters the break room, his phone already unlocked, and opens the messages from his mother. His heart slams to a halt.

Mum: Beron Vanserra passed away in the early morning hours. We are all invited to the funeral on Sunday, 11 am. Greg and I are leaving this evening. Join us, please! Love, mum!

Azriel's hands start to tremble, turning a little clammy. He never considered going home again, not after everything that happened, not since New York had become his new home.

He opens the chat, his thumb hovering above the letters, unsure how to respond. He doesn't want to leave his mother on read, especially not after a message like this, but he has no idea what to say… or do.

Azriel: Thank you for the information. I'll consider it.

He shoves his phone back into his pocket and helps himself to a cup of coffee before returning to the meeting room.

Maybe going home after more than ten years isn't that bad of an idea, Azriel thinks, but he knows it will re-open wounds that have finally almost healed.

And Azriel would see him again. Beron Vanserra's son. Eris Vanserra. And Azriel doesn't quite know if he likes the thought of that.

How will it go? How will he feel seeing him after such a long time? The last time he saw him, he was seventeen, a boy; now, he is almost 28, a grown-up man.

A lump the size of a peach starts to form in his throat, and he has difficulty swallowing even the smallest sip of coffee. His hands are still shaky, and breathing seems a little harder now. Azriel's gaze moves to stare at the tiny droplets of rain cascading down the floor-to-ceiling window.

They haven't spoken since he moved away, though the first few years in New York were filled with missed calls from Eris that went unanswered and were eventually blocked. He couldn't do that to him, give him hope, string him along, not when there was so much at risk.

Azriel tips his head to the side to think, to recall a moment in the past, a few strands of hair shifting with the movement. A few years ago, when Nesta, his best friend's girlfriend, downloaded Instagram for him, he found Eris and tried to follow him. The man never accepted his request and left Azriel with no idea what had happened in Eris' life. It makes him feel uneasy. Sad.

Did Eris move away? Did he stay in the village they grew up in? Did he fall in love? Did he marry? Has he fallen in love again?

Somehow, the thought of this makes a large crack appear in Azriel's heart, and he shakes his head a little. He will have his answers soon and then have to live with them, no matter the outcome. He wouldn't be staying long, only for the funeral. He doesn't have to worry or care about Eris for longer than the weekend. It should all be alright–

"Break's over!" Rhysand claps his hands. "Let's continue, shall we?"

Reluctantly, Azriel follows him back into the meeting room, his mind racing with questions he tries to push away. He doesn't want to think about Eris or seeing each other again,- but he can't avoid the directions his mind wanders.

Will they talk? How will they act around each other after so many years? How will Eris speak to him? Treat him?

His string of thoughts –thank God– is cut short when Rhysand directly addresses several questions that Azriel is too distracted and unfocused to answer. Usually, he is perfect at his work, but right now, his thoughts have strayed all over the place. He fidgets with a pencil, constantly flipping it over or tabbing a melody against the tabletop.

In the past, he had no real reason to consider returning home. He didn't have anyone to return home to. His mother moved away with him, and his abusive father left with his new family to settle in the West many years before he'd left that village with his mother. Azriel hasn't heard from his father since their move, which he isn't unhappy about. He is relieved to no longer have such a person in his family.

"The documents are on my desk by Monday, got that, Az?"

Azriel clears his throat and nods. He has no idea which documents Rhysand is talking about, but he’ll figure it out. Now, other things matter more- namely, making up his mind. Should he attend the funeral with his mother and her new husband, or should he stay and leave his past entirely behind?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Mum: We're leaving at seven. Have you made up your mind? Love, mum.

Azriel has only stared at the text since returning to his loft. It is long past seven now, and he hopes that they have already left. It would buy him more time. More time to consider his decision and think about all the possibilities that could come up when he returns home. When he sees him.

Eris Vanserra. His first friend. His best friend. His first love. His first kiss. His first time. His first heartbreak.

Returning back to the village he grew up in, to the place he once loved so much and that later hurt him so much, isn't an easy decision. He was a young man then and hoped never to spend a day without Eris. They had made plans for their future that he tried to push as far away as possible in the years after he left but plans that he now remembers.

They often talked about it, relaxing in the meadow below the bright afternoon sun, limbs entangled, lips mere inches apart.

What if, what if we run away?

What if, what if we left today?

What if we let them fall behind and they're never found?

Everything was good in those moments. Together, they had dreams, hopes of a promising and bright future shared with each other. They wanted to move to New York together, study at the same university, get married, adopt children - but it was all wishful thinking. None of it came true. Azriel went to New York alone because he had to. But nothing was keeping him in his hometown either. No one was holding him there…

Azriel folds a scarred hand over his eyes. The marred skin of his hands still serves as a reminder of his twisted and messed up childhood, a reminder that his step-brothers never faced anything more than reprimanding for whatever they did to him.

He doesn't allow himself to go down that traumatic path, and he reminds himself that their torture is wholly and entirely over and will remain in his past. He will never see his father, step-brothers, or step-mother again. That won't happen. He wouldn't allow it.

Instead, Azriel thinks back to the day he left and the tears he shed. He cried from the village to the airport, wetting the fabric of his mother's shirt as she held him in her arms and let him sob into her shoulder. The questions that plagued him on that ride to the airport plague him now, and he mulls them over once more:

What if Beron had never caught them? What if they had never fallen in love? What if he stayed and—?

Azriel sits up and wipes a cold hand over his face, brushing back a few strands of hair. A deep sigh parts his lips, and he turns on his phone. The picture of him, Nesta, Gwyn, Emerie, and Cassian staring back at him from the glowing screen

He recalls vomiting the moment he opened the door at the airport, and later, on the plane, he opened up to his mother, telling her everything about his sexuality and Eris. His mother had long suspected that Azriel and Eris had been more than just best friends, but she never said anything, wanting to give him time to open up. While holding his hand on the plane, she told him she didn't care if he liked boys or girls and would love him nonetheless. He will always be her little boy whom she is immensely proud of and loves wholeheartedly.

Azriel inhales a breath that feels too heavy and too large for his lungs, which have somehow constricted. He starts to type.

Azriel: You don't have to wait for me. I'll take a cab tomorrow morning.

Instantly, almost as if waiting for his reply, his mother sends a thumbs-up, and then three dots appear. It will take her a moment to answer. Azriel knows this, and he closes his message. In the meantime, he goes on Instagram, flicking through pictures of his best friends and their girlfriends, and with a loud sigh, he closes the app again. All those happy couples…

Azriel lets himself fall back into the bed, groaning when his sore back slams into the pillows. He drops his phone onto the mattress beside him, waiting for the ping of response.

Mum: Alright, Azriel. But let me know when you arrive so we can let you in. We'll be staying at Uncle Devlon's place. Love, mum.

Azriel is now the one to send a thumbs up.

Mum: It will be fine, my dear, don't worry about seeing Eris. I'm sure he missed you just as much as you missed him. Don't be afraid.

He leaves the message unanswered, trying to figure out how to respond. He isn't particularly afraid or worried. He doesn't know what he feels—too much at once, too little, or maybe nothing.

Azriel flips his phone away and folds a hand over his eyes, shielding them from the city lights filtering through the window. New York is falling asleep, but he is wide awake, far away from sleeping.

Deafening silence fills the room, surrounded by darkness; he suddenly realises that he is worried that Eris will ignore him. Concerned that there will only be small talk between them. Worried that Eris has moved on without him and no longer thinks about him like Azriel does. Worried that–

There will never be a future for them. And maybe this is good. Maybe Eris has moved on—of course he has, Azriel thinks. He has probably found a wife or a husband, and perhaps he even has children now. Ten years is a long time; a lot can happen in ten years.

Azriel's head starts spinning from all the thoughts and questions, so he decides to get up, shower, and start packing for his weekend trip.

His hair is still damp when, half an hour later, he returns to his bedroom. He dons some sleeping pants and falls into the bed, curling up on his side. His alarm is set, his phone is in flight mode, and his vague but adequate messages to Cassian and Rhysand are sent (he's going on a little trip for the weekend, and his destination and purpose are unrevealed).

A silent tear slips out of his eye, accompanied by a soft sob. One thing becomes apparent: yes, he is going home, but he is not going home to him. He will return to the village he grew up in, but not to Eris.

The lie he's told himself these past years, that he stopped caring about Eris, that he has stopped thinking about him, suddenly falls apart. Azriel has thought about him. A lot. And he still does. And sometimes, many times, he finds himself yearning for how it once used to be.

He wants to sleep next to him. And that's all he wants to do right now. And he wants to come home to him. And that's all he wants right now.

He doesn't just want to return to the place he once called home; he wants to return to where he fell in love with his best friend. He wants to return to Eris Vanserra, but not as a man whose heart was broken but as someone who can dare to hope for a future together.

He still wants Eris, and he hates that even after ten years, his wanting has never changed.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Azriel's heart presses down on him like a rock heavy with emotion as he closes the cab door. He waves off the driver with his weekend bag in hand and sunglasses pushed back into his hair. He sets off down the dry path leading into the centre of the village and to his uncle's house. The town is small now, and at 28, Azriel notes how close everything else is- his father's house and, a little further down the path, Eris' family home.

Almost like in a movie, pictures flash in front of his vision—of a childhood that seemed unburdened for everyone on the outside. A childhood that maybe wasn't too warm and loving, but one he shared with Eris. They grew up almost in the same exact way, with loving mothers, brutal fathers who didn't shy back from using violence, and brothers who supported that kind of action.

Azriel's jaw tenses, and he stops, only staring ahead at the houses, the facades weathered and dulled over time, at the village stretching out in front of him. Most things have stayed the same. He can make out the same swimming pools, houses, and living rooms he and his friends used to play in. Unchanged little houses with trees on the hills in the far distance where he and Eris used to spend quiet nights together.

As he walks a little further, he nears an old garden fence. The colour of it is already crumbling, but Azriel still remembers that it was here, right by this fence, next to the big apple tree, where they almost kissed for the first time.

"Are you finally going to tell me what happened?" Eris raises a questioning brow at Azriel, who scrunches his nose in response, his eyes half-closed due to the bright sun. He holds tightly onto his worn school bag and then says, "There is nothing to tell."

"Azriel, I can see your blue eye; it is quite obvious." He reaches out, his fingers curling around Azriel's upper arm, stopping him from walking. "I thought we would share everything with one another."

Azriel shrugs a shoulder. "It was nothing. I ran into–"

"His fist, right. He hit you again, didn't he?"

Azriel shrugs again.

"I am going to punch him."

"After I punch your father," Azriel chuckles, but the sound lacks warmth or humour.

"This is messed up," Eris mumbles and steps closer to his best friend, tipping his chin up with his thumb. "But you need to be honest with me. Tell me when he hurts you so I can be there for you."

Slowly, Azriel starts to nod, but then his eyes drop to Eris' lips. Suddenly, He is so much closer, only mere inches away. Eris' eyes are locked with his but also momentarily slide to Azriel's lips, his Adam's apple bobbing. "We can't do this," Eris whispers, but instead of moving away, he leans closer. Azriel does, too, holding his breath. "I know," he answers, his tone equally breathy. "But–"

Eris's baby brother Lucien interrupted them, calling Eris' name from the porch and then running towards the two best friends. Lucien was only seven years old then, and Eris picked him up easily when he reached them—he must be a teenager now.

Azriel remembers that they were both relieved that their moment ended that way, but only two weeks later, they really kissed, and from then on, there was no more holding back. They kissed a lot back then, but always in secret.

It was two months later that everything they had and loved ended. It was when Beron's cruelty reached its peak, and he—

"Azriel!" The squeaking of door hinges disrupts his daydreaming. "Didn't I tell you to let us know when you arrive?!"

"Mother." Azriel dips his chin after having turned around. "It's good to see you." He cracks a small smile when his mother throws up her hands in despair.

"You never listen to me, Azriel Marino!"

"I always listen to you, Mama." After closing the distance between them, he wraps his arms around her shoulders and kisses the top of her head. "Always."

Eleni Marino harrumphs loudly but hugs her son tightly. "Come in. Your uncle is looking forward to seeing you."

Azriel doubts that. His uncle probably only wants to see if he is still the small weakling he always used to call him. But the joke's on Uncle Devlon because Azriel is no longer small or weak. He has grown a lot, including his muscles, which Devlon probably never thought possible. He has changed a lot, and he can't wait to see the look on his uncle’s face.

"Uncle," Azriel greets upon entering the living and dining room, his chin dipping to his chest, his voice low. His gaze runs over the old man sitting in his armchair - ten years can do a lot to a man – who once used to be a strong and fit army general, is now an old man with white hair and sunken cheekbones.

"Azriel," he croaks and rises from his chair. "Let me look at you. You have grown up." He assesses him through half-closed eyes, shuffling towards him. "You've grown a lot, boy. How has college been treating you?"

Azriel wants to open his mouth to say that he dropped out of college after the first semester and decided to work instead, but when he meets his mother's gaze, she shakes her head, and it tells him everything he needs to know.

"College is good. Got good grades and made friends," Azriel says instead, knowing that to keep the peace here, it is wiser to lie a little. Devlon would only ask why he dropped out and then blame them for not having enough money to afford it. Consequently, he would blame Azriel's mother for not working hard enough to make studying at a uni possible for her son. And then blame her for not staying with his father. Abusive or not, it had never mattered to his uncle. So, this small white lie has to do.

"How's life been treating you, Uncle?"

Devlon shuffles away, wiping his mouth with his hand, and plops down on the armchair again. "Good, good," he mumbles, pulling a blanket over his lap and leaning back. Azriel is sure he dozes off a moment later so he turns back to his mother with a chuckle.

But there is no amusement on her face. Looking worried, she reaches out her arm to clasp Azriel's hand. "Lunch will be ready in around an hour. Go see him now."

Azriel's throat bobs, his fingers naturally curling tighter around his mother's hand. "What if he doesn't want to see me?"

"You'll only find out if he wants to see you if you go to him. Otherwise, you will be plagued with what-if questions and doubts for the whole weekend. Go see him and talk to him. I'm sure he has missed you just as much." Eleni inhales deeply, "After all, you also used to be best friends at one point."

Best friends and so much more, Azriel thinks. Slowly, he begins to nod, his hands having turned cold, his heart feeling a little heavier, and his feet are somehow rooted to the ground, making it impossible for him to move immediately. He needs just a moment longer, holding onto his mother's hand like he is once again the young man who was sobbing into her shoulder when they left ten years ago.

"Go now, Azriel. I'm sure he's still at the chapel, preparing everything for the funeral tomorrow."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

With his heart rapidly pounding, Azriel walks down the familiar path to the chapel he used to take many times when he still lived here, his mind swirling with memories. Every step he takes feels heavier as he nears the old house of prayer, wondering if Eris will truly be there.

He has mindlessly followed his mother's suggestions and now doubt gnaws at him about whether he should have come. Uncertainty clouds his thoughts, and nervousness tightens his chest. What if Eris doesn’t want to see him? What if he ignores him? What if he is mad at him?

Will he even recognise him after all these years?

Of course he will, Azriel thinks. He hasn't changed much. He has only grown and built up some muscles. His face is still the same.

His heart nearly breaks through his ribcage when he reaches the door, the crisp air burning down his throat with every inhale. For a moment, he feels like fainting or throwing up, but then his hand reaches for the door handle and pulls it down. The door opens slowly, too slowly, and silently. So silently that Eris doesn't notice him.

He is standing at the altar, arranging some flowers, and for a moment, Azriel forgets how to breathe.

Eris Vanserra is more beautiful than ever, breathtaking, to say the least. Azriel can't tear his eyes away, slowly letting his eyes run over the man in front of him, and his knees wobble. Eris has cut his hair, but not too short. He also gained some muscles and now wears a beautiful beard that perfectly complements his look.

Azriel stops on the threshold, unable to move further, hand still on the door.

"Stop that!" Azriel playfully smacks Eris' hand away, lying on the grass, laughing.

"A flower in your hair would look cute."

"I am not cute," Azriel grumbles, sliding his hand into Eris '. The red-haired boy lies down atop his chest and tips his head back to look up at Azriel.

"You are cute." Eris grins.

"Stop being cheesy."

"Never!" Eris smoothies his freckled hand up Azriel's chest, humming contentedly.

In the middle of this meadow, in the middle of nowhere, far from their village, they are safe. They have taken their bikes to get as far away from prying eyes as possible. Only here can they be true to themselves and love each other more deeply than friends love each other.

"Eris," Azriel hums, lifting the hand that isn't in Eris's hold to brush it through his boyfriend's auburn locks. "You make my heart shake, bend and break. But I can't turn away. And it's driving me wild. You're driving me wild."

Eris hums softly. "I love you, but why do I only find out now that you are one to spout poetry?"

Azriel's laughter rings out over the meadow…

It was probably the last time he had laughed so happily and freely. This moment was beautiful, as was the whole day. Azriel remembers that this day was also when they first slept together.

When he finally catches himself, his hand lets go of the door and he takes one step into the chapel. The inside is cold, and the scent of polished wood, aged hymnals, and candles lies in the air, mingling with the aroma of incense that adds a touch of spice.

Azriel inhales deeply, bracing himself for what he is about to say. A simple greeting, nothing spectacular, but he has no idea if he is ready for it. For whatever is about to follow the greeting.

But he doesn't have to speculate. Not when Eris has already noticed his arrival.

"I didn't think you would come." He places a candle next to the flowers, then steps back from the altar and turns to Azriel. His eyes run over Azriel slowly, and small flames flicker in Eris' eye. "But here you are. After ten years."

Azriel nearly chokes on his saliva, but in a croaky voice, he manages to say, "My mother—" only for Eris to interrupt him.

"Of course, your mother told you to come here," the red-haired male cuts in. "Of course, she is the reason you are here. She has always checked in. For the past ten years. Has always sent messages for Christmas and my birthday." A small, nostalgic smile appears on Eris' lips, and he wipes his hands down his thighs, clearing the soil and petals from the flower arrangement.

Azriel didn't know that, and it infuriated him that his mother had never told him—how dare she! How dare she keep contact with Eris and never tell him?

"Don't make it sound like a reprimand," Azriel grumbles. "I wasn't the one to break up–"

"You know why I broke up with you!" Eris counters.

"Because you were a coward."

A snarl parts Eris' lips, hurt flashing in his eyes, and at the exact moment, a pang of hurt pierces right into Azriel's heart. Is this truly how their first meeting after ten years goes?

"Says the one who didn't reach out a single time in all those years." A look of disgust spreads over Eris' face. He shakes his head and then approaches Azriel, stopping right before him. "Not one time."

"I tried to reach out, but you wouldn't accept my request on Instagram!" Azriel snarls,

"I don't even use this app," Eris retorts, "My little brother's girlfriend downloaded it for me, thinking it would be a good way to socialise and maybe meet a partner."

Azriel doesn't really know what to answer. He hoped their first meeting would be different after such a long time, but he had false hopes. Of course, it would go exactly like this. He should have reached out. He should have called, texted, come here, something.

But he didn't and now must pay the price for it.

"I didn't forget about you. Is that what you want to hear?"

A cold huff parts Eris' lips, followed by a cynical chuckle. "Hm, too bad that I did. And now I've got things to do. As you might know, my father died." He brushes past Azriel without saying another word, shoving the brown-haired male by his shoulder, and heads for the chapel door.

He doesn't give Azriel a chance to say something. A moment later, he is gone, and the door falls shut, a tremor coursing through Azriel at the loud pang.

He is taken right back in time. To the fateful day when his whole life fell apart. The day when Beron–

"I bet you're already hard for me." Azriel chuckles softly, his hand placed on Eris' bare chest, slowly travelling lower until it rests right above Eris' crotch, only the blanket and Eris' boxers separating between them. His lips find the spot right beneath Eris' ear that makes his boyfriend elicit the most sensual noises. Azriel loves those noises and could listen to them forever, so he lets his teeth run over Eris's sensitive skin, then pokes out his tongue and licks it.

"Always," Eris hums, hips jerking in response to his boyfriend's touch.

When Azriel's lips ascend, placing a trail of kisses up his boyfriend's throat, he slides his hand beneath the blanket, palming Eris through the fabric of his boxers.

Their lips meet in a frantic kiss, tongues fighting for dominance when he lets his hand slide beneath the fabric, but—

But the door slams open only a blink of an eye later, rattling the whole room. Beron barrels inside, seething with anger.

He most definitely drank a lot at the bar beforehand. He should have been longer, a few more hours.

Azriel only remembers a little of what Beron said to them, but a few words stuck.

"This is disgusting," he spits. "You disgust me!"

He hurdles for the bed, but both boys are unable to move. He is too shocked about Beron catching them and worried about what will happen now that he knows.

"What do you think you are doing, Eris Vanserra?" Beron shouts, pulling Eris up by his arm, and it doesn't take long for the first slap to land upon his face. "Rolling around in bed with a boy! You disgust me." He slaps him again, this time harder.

By now, Azriel is out of bed as well, screaming at the man to let go of his boyfriend and tugging at Beron's arm, but the man is more muscular. He shoves Azriel away; the young man knocks his head against the bedframe, and his vision goes black. Pitch black. Just like his heart, nothing but void filling the place that once used to beat happily for his boyfriend.

The moments after are a blur of consciousness and unconsciousness, and the next thing Azriel remembers is Eris breaking up with him, his face bruised and marred by markings of Beron's anger.

His throat is dry when he leaves the chapel, the back of his mouth aching. He couldn't help him back then because Eris didn't let him. He broke up with him and pushed him away — Beron prohibited them from ever meeting again. He claimed that Azriel had ruined his son, called him all kinds of homophobic nicknames, and threatened to destroy his mother's life should he ever try to get close to Eris again.

It was the most devastating moment of his life, surpassing even the time when his brothers burned his hands. Beron’s cruelty inflicted wounds on his heart that would never heal.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Azriel's sleep is restless, constantly rolling from one side to the other, the sheets tangled between his legs, his bare chest coated in cold sweat.

Moonlight filters through the curtain-framed window, casting the room in a gentle, blueish glow. It's still night and nowhere close to morning.

He raises his hand, letting his fingers coast over his lower lip.

"You need to smile, Az." A grin, reaching from one ear to the other, spreads over Eris' face while he is staring into the camera. "You are always so broody."

"I'm not!" Azriel snaps and playfully shoves his elbow into Eris' ribs who yelps.

"Idiot!"

"Say that again!" Eris turns to his best friend, and his breath catches. He reaches out, but stops himself.

"Idiot," Azriel chuckles and moves closer.

"Again." Eris leans in, eyes fluttering shut for a second, then dropping to Eris' lips.

"Id—" Eris' lips close over Azriel, but instead of pulling back, he kisses him right back, his hand falling to his neck, bringing him in a little closer. All hesitance is erased within seconds; there is only Eris on his mind—and his lips.

At first, their mouths meet clumsily, but soon they find their rhythm, lips parting, tongues exploring, tangling, and dancing. Eris places his hands on Azriel's hips, formally having kept them at his side, and that a little awkwardly. He draws Azriel closer, deepening the kiss and eliciting a soft moan from him.

"Not just best friends, huh?" Eris mumbles when pulling back from the kiss. A string of saliva still connects their lips, which he wipes away with the back of his hand.

Tears build up in Azriel's eyes. "I'm in love with you."

"I know," Eris answers, his thumb wiping over Azriel's cheek, catching some stray tears. "And I'm in love with—"

"Fuck!" Azriel rips away the sheets and sits in bed, his whole body feeling clammy from the cold sweat that had built up due to his vivid dreams. He knows he can't stay here, and he knows exactly where he needs to go. He just needs to see Eris and talk to him. He can't let the conversation from earlier hang in the air like this. He needs to fix what he ruined.

Grabbing the sweater he had earlier discarded in the room and donning it, he is out of the door before he can question his decision to go see Eris. He slips into his shoes as silently as a gazelle and then out the door, hoping his mother won't wake and question him about his whereabouts the following day.

Azriel straightens up when he walks down the path leading to the gate at the end of the garden. It creaks a little when he opens it, but he ignores it, only one target in mind: Eris. He still knows the way to Eris' place like the inside of pockets. (Maybe a little suspiciously, he queried his mother in the afternoon about whether Eris still lives there, and she confirmed it, so he knows exactly where he needs to go).

Azriel feels a sudden surge of energy – he wants to talk and fix what has been ruined this afternoon. And in the ten years he was absent.

He walks faster through the large, looming trees, their branches bending in the wind and leaves rustling and swirling.

Azriel remembers that Eris's favourite season always used to be autumn, and maybe this is a good sign. It is autumn now, visible everywhere outside.

But his blood runs cold, and his heart slams to a halt when his eyes land on a scene that also twists his gut. Hot and thick, jealousy bubbles up inside him, making the back of his mouth taste bitter.

"Well," Eris laughs, his features bright and joyful, his arm wrapped around the blond male's shoulders. "Thank god I have you."

Tamlin, if Azriel remembers correctly, flashes Eris a big grin. It makes the content of Azriel's stomach sour, and bile creeps up his throat. He can't believe that he truly lost his first love to him. This spoiled, rich prick!

"You are so lucky, Vanserra, to have me. What would you do without me?"

"I guess I would be hopeless," Eris laughs, pulling back his arm and letting it fall to his sides. "Thank you so much, really. For the arrangements, I couldn't have done them all alone, and with you being the best–"

Azriel can't make out the rest or hear what comes after best, but he can only guess that the word that belongs at the end of the sentence is boyfriend. Or worse, husband.

He can't believe it, and in his fury, and by trying to get closer, Azriel doesn't see a more prominent branch on the ground. His foot catches on it, causing him to trip and twist his ankle as he falls. "Fuck!" Azriel groans when his hands come in contact with the damp soil, and then pine needles pierce his skin. "Fucking bastard!"

He sits back on his heels and knows the moment he does, it was a big mistake. His ankle hurts like hell, and he has to bite down on the insides of his cheeks to keep from loudly alerting Eris to the fact that Azriel's sneaking around.

This is all so fucked up, Azriel thinks, and only wants to cry.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

"There you go," Eleni hands Azriel a new cold pack, then lets her hand rest atop his head. "You should have woken me, I didn't even hear you fall."

"I tried to fall silently," Azriel answers sarcastically and groans when he shifts on the couch. His ankle has swollen significantly overnight; stepping on his foot hurts insanely, but he wouldn't let it show. And he would most definitely never reveal what exactly happened. Another small lie – he tripped at the staircase when he got himself something to drink during the night.

He doesn't know if his mother truly believed him, but she didn't ask any further questions, and Azriel is more than grateful for that.

"I've been meaning to take a little boat ride with you, Azriel, but I guess we can forget that now."

As if good old Devlon could still ride a boat, Azriel thinks. "What a shame," he says instead, glancing at his uncle but then back at his ankle and the cool pack. The outer ice layer already starts to melt, and small droplets of cold water run down the sides of his foot.

Devlon doesn't say anything; a few minutes later, he asks Azriel's mother to follow him outside. They leave, and after checking if Azriel is alright with being alone, Eleni goes back into the kitchen to continue with lunch.

For a moment, Azriel wonders what his stepfather eats when his mother isn't there. Who cooks for him? Or does he order food or eat at his neighbours?

Honestly, Azriel doesn't care, so he rests his head on the pillow again, gets comfy, picks up his phone, and finds a few unread notifications. Most are from Cassian, who sent him photos and videos or tagged him somewhere. He decides to ignore them for now and clicks on the message from his good friend Gwyn.

Gwyn: Karaoke at 7, my place?

Azriel: Sorry, I can't.

Gwyn: ☹️

Gwyn: Are you brooding?

Gwyn: Should I get the romance movies out and come over to your place with some ice cream?

Azriel: You‘re not funny, Berdara…I'm busy.

Gwyn: Busy? Busy how? Are you on a date? 😏

Gwyn: 😏😏😏😏

Gwyn: Is he hot? Send a pic if he is!

Azriel places his phone screen down on the couch table and blows out a long breath. He lifts his gaze to the window, where he sees his uncle and stepfather standing outside in the garden, discussing something about the old cherry tree. He hears his mother in the kitchen, still cooking, and knows he has a bit of privacy.

He picks up his phone and clicks on Gwyn's name. Her lovely smile pops up on his screen when it rings, and then her voice sounds through the speaker, and Azriel lifts his phone to his ear.

"Hey!" Gwyn says, her voice tinged with a hint of worry. "You're alright?"

"I went home."

"Home to your apartment? Or home like…Massachusetts home?"

"The latter."

"Oh god!" Gwyn's voice is loud and tinged with surprise. "I'll ask again, are you alright?"

"I guess I am, I–"

"Eris?"

Just like his other best friends, Gwyn knows about his past with Eris. It wasn't too easy to open up, but on an emotional night together on his rooftop terrace with quite a bit of alcohol in their blood, he poured his heart out to his friend.

"I thought our first time seeing each other after such a long time would go differently."

"I'm sorry, Az," Gwyn mumbles sadly. "But I think you just need time. Maybe you can ask Rhys if you can stay a little longer?"

"I don't think it will help much." Azriel inhales a deep breath and sighs loudly. "Ten years is a long time, Gwyn. And not checking in with him once…it hurt him more than I could ever imagine." He lets his head fall back into the pillows.

"I understand, and I know that it is a damn long time, but if you still love him, it doesn't matter," Gwyn answers.

"It isn't weird that I still love him after such a long time?" Azriel asks, heart aching so much he folds a hand over his chest.

"Nope," his friend says, popping the p. "The heart wants what it wants, and if two souls belong together, they will eventually find their way back to each other. It isn't weird that you still love him; your first love will always play a big role in your life."

"Thank you."

"There's Nothing to thank me for, Az. Go get your man now." Her laughter is radiant even over the phone, and it gives Azriel the energy he needs to take the next step and do as she said: get his man.

"You think you can make it to the funeral tomorrow or– oh, I am so sorry, I didn't know you were on the phone."

Azriel places his phone down and shakes his head. "The call just ended, and yes, Mama, I can."

He has to. He didn't come all this way to stay in his uncle's home.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Another sleepless night follows the previous one, and as silly as it might seem to anyone who finds out about it, Azriel leaves Devlon's house once again in the middle of the night. This time limping, though. He drags himself down the staircase, which seems so much longer when you have a torn ankle. He manages to open the front door as silently as possible and slips through it.

It is the only chance he gets. The funeral is the following day, and then he will leave again. He has to talk to Eris, having been a coward all afternoon.

Once again, he is met by the crisp night air, only the sound of the wind dancing on the lake nearby and rustling the leaves of the large, looming trees in his ears surrounding him.

Picking up a few pebbles, he heads to Eris' family home. He walks down the small concrete path he has walked probably over two thousand times in his life. It still looks almost the same; a few trees have been cut down during his absence, but other than that, the buildings, the pavement, and the fences are still the same.

Azriel allows his gaze to stray, looking into some front yards. Even in the dark, he can make out the small swimming pools and swings. He remembers how he and Eris often met up at night, sitting on the swings in his uncle's garden, talking for hours about anything and everything.

They mostly only returned to their homes when the sun started to rise and slept until midday (of course, that was only possible during their breaks).

Azriel smoothes his hand through his hair, his heart having and picking up speed the closer he gets to Eris' place. Yesterday he was stopped, but tonight they will speak. His ankle still hurts, but he barely pays any attention to it, so focused on all the thoughts and questions in his mind.

What if he never moved away? Would they have found a way to be together and maybe already be married now?

He knows this is a silly fantasy, but one that is so beautiful it almost draws tears to his eyes. He can imagine them being married. He can imagine it so perfectly and loves the thought of it—and that even after ten years.

He and Eris fell asleep within each other's arms every night, waking together, having breakfast together, going to work, and then spending the evening together. And that on repeat for as long as they live.

It is what they always dreamt about back then. And it is what Azriel still thinks about now. It felt like that with no one he dated in the past ten years. He never felt like that. He never felt like he would love to spend the next 50 years with them, but with Eris?

With Eris, he can imagine everything.

His heart is racing like a wild horse when he enters the front yard of the large house, half of it swallowed by the large, looming forest behind it. They playfully used to call Eris' home Forest House when they were children, but when Azriel considers it now, he has to admit it really applies to it – it is a forest house.

He circles the house until he reaches his destination, still knowing exactly which window belongs to Eris' room. He climbed through it many times in their teen years, sneaking in in the middle of the night to–

Azriel cuts off his thoughts and turns his attention back to the pebbles in his sweaty palms. His gaze lifts to the window, and before he can stop himself, the first pebble slides out of his hand and strikes. Silence follows. He throws another. Then another. And another.

He is about to give up, his heart crushing in his chest, pressing down on his stomach, when a light flickers on in Eris' room. Eris appears in front of his window and glances outside, his long red hair tousled, and he is only dressed in thin sleeping pants.

Azriel lifts his arm, waving, and it takes Eris a moment to adapt to the dark and then spot him. He opens his window, shakes his head, and grumbles in an annoyed voice, "Go home and sleep!"

But Azriel won't give up that easily. "We need to talk." He is too stubborn to give up this time.

"So you can call me a coward again?" Eris huffs loudly.

"We need to talk about us," Azriel presses.

"At three in the morning?" Eris braces his hands on the windowsill, leaning closer. "My father is getting buried tomorrow, I need to sleep."

Azriel swallows his nervousness and worry, and his hands ball into fists, crushing the pebbles. "Please, Eris. Please, listen to me."

Eris steps away from the window, and Azriel's heart drops, just like his shoulders. The light in Eris' room goes off.

Then there is nothing but silence and darkness. The darkness creeps in around him. The wind howls, and a shudder courses through Azriel. He is shaking when he bends down to pick up some pebbles again, his ankle aching fiercely, but it is nothing compared to the pain inside his heart. It hurts so much.

But he won't give up like that. Not so easily. He messed up the previous day and in the years prior. This is his last chance, and he is going to take it.

The moment he lifts his hand, ready to throw another small stone, the house's back door suddenly opens.

Azriel's breath catches, and he feels like his knees will give in at any moment.

There he is. Having donned a thin tank top, Eris stands in the doorframe, his eyebrow raised. "Talk."

Azriel takes a step forward, trying to act as if everything is fine. "I am sorry for calling you a coward." He limps another step forward, grinding his teeth hard to bite back on the pain.

"Okay," Eris answers tightly, then his gaze dips, and he looks at Azriel's very obviously swollen ankle. "I assume that happened when you tried to spy on me Friday night? Did you see what you wanted to see?" Eris raises a brow, crossing his arms over his chest, the muscles in his upper arms rippling with the movement.

"I wasn't spying on you."

"Of course, Spymaster." The corner of Eris' mouth kicks up when he uses the nickname some kids gave Azriel in their childhood. He always used to spy on the adults and steal cookies and cakes when they didn't look, earning him this title. Azriel has completely forgotten about it, and his lips part in silent surprise.

"I went for a walk."

"At three in the morning?" Eris closes the back door behind him. "That's a normal time for people to take a walk."

"You were also taking a walk with your boyfriend."

"Boyfriend!" Eris almost shouts, then starts to laugh so hard he has to bend over. It infuriates Azriel, and he braces himself for hearing Eris say something like: "He is my husband, you dumbass."

"Tamlin is not my boyfriend." Eris has calmed a little and now approaches Azriel, his bare feet padding softly over the cool, dewy grass. "He is my best friend, and this guy is as straight as a pole and married to Briar. I'm not sure if you remember her."

Azriel can barely swallow around the lump of shame in his throat. "You are not–"

"No, Azriel. But why do you care?"

"Why do you think I care?"

"Yes, this is what I am asking, Azriel. Why would you care? When you didn't care enough to call a single time?"

"You'll never let me forget that, huh?" Azriel spits.

Eris closes the distance between them faster than Azriel can breathe and is in his face the next moment, forehead pressing against his. "Because it broke my fucking heart. It tore me apart and left my soul in shards on the ground. Because I loved you, and you just left me when everything fell apart."

Azriel's heart breaks anew. "Mum was moving away with me; I couldn't have stayed here alone."

"But you could have called."

"You broke up with me." Azriel flattens his palms against Eris' chest, feeling his warm skin despite the cold night air against his palms. But he doesn't push Eris away; he only rests his hands on his ex-boyfriend's chest. "I couldn't reach out again."

"Why?" Eris growls. "What hindered you? I thought you used to love me."

"I did love you," Azriel answers honestly. "That's why I couldn't reach out again. Beron hurt you so much because of me. He forced you to break up with me. He punched you bloody that night, Eris, I haven't forgotten about that. He broke your collarbone." Azriel swallows thickly, tears filling his eyes. "When I think back to this moment, I still hear your cries, I still see the blood–I couldn't let this happen again. You needed to get rid of me, and that for good."

"Azriel…" Eris breathes, and it seems as if he doesn't know how to continue.

Azriel's head starts to spin suddenly, having finally revealed the secret he kept to himself for the past ten years. He has finally given Eris the reason for his ignorance, and it feels like a heavy weight is lifted from his chest.

"You were too good to be good for me." Azriel's breath tingles Eris' skin, his gaze dropping to his lips. "You deserved so much better. You deserved someone else, someone better. You deserve someone better." Azriel looses a long breath that cascades down Eris' throat and his chest. "But that doesn't mean that I have stopped thinking about you."

"I haven't stopped thinking about you either," Eris admits, voice equally breathy, his hand sliding around Azriel's waist, bringing him closer. "Night and day, you have been on my mind. No matter what I tried, no matter who I was with, it was always you on my mind."

"It was always you, Eris." Azriel's Adam's apple bobs. They breathe the same air, their bodies almost flush against one another. And yet, it feels as if there are millennia between them. The time they have missed.

"Why haven't you told me before?"

"Because I was worried about you. I knew you would find a way to get to me and reach out, and if Beron found out–" Azriel inhales a long breath, his eyes close. "I never knew loving could hurt this good. And it drives me wild, 'cause when you look like that, I've never ever wanted to be so bad; oh god, you are still driving wild, Eris."

"You are driving me wild, Azriel," Eris huffs. "Showing up here like that, looking like that, and–fuck, I still want you the same way. Is that even possible after such a long time?"

Their lips meet in a hasty kiss, and their feet, even Azriel's injured one, move fully on their own accord until Azriel's back is pressed against the wall of the garden shed. Eris' hands vigorously roam his body, tongues tangling when their mouths open to one another.

Eris' hands and lips still know their way around, and it truly drives Azriel wild and insane. He feels like he is once again getting drunk on the taste of Eris, on the feel of his body against his own, and it seems like a fever dream that this is truly happening.

"You still want me, Eris?" Azriel breathes, their lips only parting for a slight second.

"Yes." Eris pushes against him, making him feel exactly how hard he already is, only from a few kisses. "I've never stopped wanting you. No one felt like you. Nothing felt like being with you. It was only ever you. And still is. I've wanted to hate you so much for leaving me alone, but I failed."

"I'm glad you did, because I did too. I failed at trying to forget you, at stopping to love you."

Eris' lips kiss a trail down the side of Azriel's throat, teeth grazing his skin softly and eliciting soft sighs from his former best friend. "You want me now?"

"I always want you, Eris," Azriel pants. "I have always wanted you."

Their bodies move fully on their own accord, guided and driven by sheer desire and need, the longing that has grown so much and so stark over the time they were apart. And after asking for Azriel's consent, there is no more holding back for Eris. For either of them.

Eris lowers himself to the ground, kneeling, and starts to toy with the button and the zipper on Azriel's jeans. They ignore the fact that they are outside, in the garden where people could see them. Their need for each other right here and now drowns out every little part of rationality.

After freeing Azriel's already half-hard length, Eris strokes him a few times, loving the soft, breathy gasps that leave Azriel in reaction to his doing. He smooths his hand down the hard length of his shaft, the skin yet soft beneath his palm, and then parts his lips.

"Ten fucking years," Eris rasps, tongue swirling to collect the bead of liquid already gathered at the tip before fully sucking him into his mouth.

He works him softly at first, and Azriel finds himself moaning at the feeling of his cock engulfed in the wet heat of Eris' mouth, his hand falling into his long red locks, tugging softly at first. Eris begins to suck harder and move his mouth a little faster; his hand grips the back of his mouth, holding on tightly.

Using his mouth and hand together, Eris hollows his cheeks and holds eye contact with Azriel, which is everything he needs to tip him over the edge. He bucks his hips into Eris' face until he comes with a shout, and Eris greedily swallows around him, drinking him down like he has been a starved male for centuries.

"Fuck yes!" Eris expresses when he sits back on his heels. He locks his hooded gaze on Azriel, his hand wiping over the drool and Azriel's come running down his cheek. "I've missed this."

"I missed you," Azriel answers and bends down, reaching for Eris to bring him in for a kiss, but cries out when his ankle twitches again.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"You regret what we did?"

"No," Eris answers tightly, carefully tending Azriel's ankle and applying the last bit of cream still on his fingertips. He wipes them clean on a cloth hanging from the table and picks up a bandage. Before he continues, he adjusts Azriel's leg on his lap. "No, I don't."

The moment Azriel cries out in pain, Eris immediately knows he needs to take care of Azriel's leg. He drags him inside the house to examine the injury despite Azriel's protests. Only a minute later, they ended up in the kitchen of Eris' home, now sitting at the dining table that is still familiar to Azriel, with only a small oil lamp lit on the kitchen counter.

"But why are you so calm then?" Azriel asks, hoping to catch his eyes, but Eris keeps looking at his ankle.

"I am just thinking…"

"About?"

"About us."

Us. It still sounds so beautiful, and when Eris says it, it gives Azriel hope.

"What did it feel like…going away, I mean." Eris lifts his eyes for a brief moment, hoping to catch his gaze.

Azriel sighs loudly. "It was awful. The first days, weeks, months. I only cried. I made new friends in New York that helped me out of my misery, but that doesn't mean I didn't miss you daily. I always thought about you and knew you were feeling the same." He wipes a hand over his eyes. "I knew that if I called you, I would only make it worse. For both of us. There was no way we could see each other again any time soon…"

Eris nods slowly. "I gave up at some point. I called a few times, but you never answered. Then, Beron forced me to delete your number and all the pictures I had with you. I could save a few on my computer, but the rest was all gone."

"All of our silly videos and photos?" Azriel asks and places his hand on Eris'. The man nods in answer.

"I'll try to find them on my old phone. I'm sure I still have it somewhere." A small smile appears on his lips and a little light returns to his eyes. "Also, those with your little brother." Azriel chuckles softly. "How is Lucien?"

"A menace," Eris breathes. "He was a sweet boy until puberty hit him with full force. He was all about girls and his appearance, but he still did well in school. He has been dating the same girl for a few years now. They got together when they were fourteen and are still going strong. She might be his soulmate. Elain, she's a sweet girl."

Azriel smiles at that. "I'm glad he's doing well."

"Yeah," Eris sighs. He deserves a good life. "He will be here for the funeral. He said it is a kind of closure."

Azriel nods slowly. "Did he move away?"

"No," Eris answers, "but he spends every other weekend with his biological dad."

Azriel remembers the little affair, the unspoken story of how Lucien and Eris only share a mother. Eris found out about it very early on and obviously told Azriel. Back then, they shared everything with each other.

"I'm glad to hear he has contact with him now." Azriel inhales deeply. At least someone has luck with their father, he thinks.

Eris smiles, at least a little, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "I've always hoped you would just show up here again someday. I even thought about going to New York, but I thought I would make a fool out of myself – suddenly showing up in the big city with hopes and dreams for us while it was possible that you were already married or at least had a partner."

A breathy chuckle leaves Azriel. "I was dating a few people in the ten years, but it never felt right. It never felt as right as it did with you."

"I know what you mean, Azriel. I know this feeling." Eris inhales a long, deep breath. "I've always thought it was because you will never forget your first love, and somehow they will always be important to you, but I now know that it is because there is no one in this world like you. I fell in love with you because you are my counterpart and everything I could and would ever hope for in a partner. I fell in love with everything about you, and no one would ever compare to you."

Azriel's fingers curl tighter around Eris, and he leans in, kissing his lips softly. "No one compares to you. I fell in love with your charm and wonderful character and soon realized that no one is like you. You are one in a million, and finding someone like you…I was the luckiest idiot on this planet until I ruined everything."

"Beron ruined it."

"I did, too." Azriel shakes his head. "I shouldn't have given up that easily. I should have fought for us. I should have fought Beron for you. I should have fought for our future."

Eris swallows thickly, a tear rolling down his cheek. "I broke up with you; maybe I shouldn't have given up that easily, either. Let's agree that we both made mistakes and didn't do everything right, but this was in the past. Let it be in the past and focus on the future."

"Can you forgive me so easily?" Azriel asks, his heart heavy, his stomach churning. He bites down on the inside of his cheeks.

Eris' shoulders lift with a deep breath. "I can, if you can forgive me for everything I've said."

"I can." Eris nips at Azriel's lips, then lets his forehead rest against Azriel's. "You will go back to New York tomorrow, right?"

"I'll ask my boss to allow me to stay a little longer," Azriel whispers. "He is one of my closest mates. He won't say no." He kisses the corner of Eris' lips. "But yes, I will have to return in a few days. I have my work there and…I can't give everything up there so easily."

"I know. I wouldn't want you to give up everything there." Eris' eyes close, and his heart sinks into his gut. He wants to leave with Azriel and move to the big city with him, but can he leave everything here behind so easily?

He has no job at the moment, as he has been taking care of his ill father in the past months and had to take leave and then quit. It wasn't easy, but working as a doctor before earned him a bit of money that he had on the side, which tided him over the months. So technically, he could start anew in the big city. But that would mean leaving everything here behind: his mother, his brothers.

"My apartment in New York is definitely made for two people, so…" A hopeful smile appears on Azriel's lips.

Eris smiles in return; this time, it reaches his eyes, where hope and anticipation spark to life.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"Are you ready?" Azriel looks at him, holding eye contact, although Eris seems to find reciprocating difficult.

Beron has never been a good father, but the funeral day isn't easy. Beron was still his father, and from time to time, they had good moments, moments where they could laugh and smile together. But those days were sparse.

He inhales a deep breath and exhales loudly. "I am."

Everyone is already inside; he and Azriel are the only people still left outside. The funeral will only begin when he enters, so he allows himself this time to breathe and collect himself, knowing he is not missing anything inside.

"I really am." He nods slowly. "You will sit with me?" Eris swallows thickly. "Stay with me?"

"Always," Azriel answers. I will never, ever leave you again." He pulls down the door handle, and they enter together. They stroll down the aisle leading to the altar together, their steps synchronised until they reach their bench, where Eris' mother and two of his brothers are already sitting.

Azriel's hand naturally slides into Eris when he sits down beside him. The pastor steps onto the dais, and piano music starts to sound from the back of the chapel.

"I'm here for you, Eris," Azriel whispers, not turning to look at Eris but staring straight ahead at the coffin. "Forever."

"Forever?"

"Forever. Move to New York with me."

Eris doesn't give him a verbal answer, only squeezes his hand in response, yet a slight smile that feels so out of place for a funeral appears on his lips. Always sounds just too good. Especially when it means forever with Azriel.

general Azris tag list (please let me know if you want to be added/removed): @azrielsbabyg @lady-riel @moonlightazriel @aayo-whatt @brekkershadowsinger @ladyelain @banasheefan56 @a-frog-with-a-laptop @ofduskanddreams @acourtofladydeath @secret-third-thing @born-to-riot @chunkypossum @talibunny30 @berryzxx

thank you so much for beta reading @pippsmcgee and @moonlightazriel 💛

#azrisweek2024 #azrisweek #azris #azriel x eris #azris au

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redr0sewrites · 2 days

Note

ahem ahem... I saw your requests were open and i am viciously starving for arcane content sooooooo

Praise n Mommy kink w/ Service top Caitlyn x fem reader? 👀

Decent...?

🥀A/n : GRRRRR I LOVE U FOR THIS- it has a twist at the end i really enjoyed hehe, so i hope u like it too!!! gen considering making this a series...

🥀 Pairing(s) : Caitlyn x fem!reader

🥀Cw : smut, aftercare/fluff at the end, mommy kink, praise, safeword mention, pwp, Vi walks on on yall at the end, sub!fem!reader

🥀 minors dni

you hurry up towards Caitlyn's room, navigating the familiar passageways of her mansion towards your lover. you were stopping by to visit her after hearing about her return to Piltover, and you couldn't deny that you were excited to hear about the experience. she had sent you a letter in the middle of her trip, but you were practically dying for more details.

while it had only been a few days since you'd last seen her, you were already bubbling with anticipation. you had heard all about her theories and hoped, for her sake, she had caught a lead.

you had also heard about her escapades with a certain red head from the undercity, and above all, you were intrigued about the new acquaintance she had seemingly made.

as you approached the door to her room, you felt a moment of hesitation overcome you as your hand hovers over the door knob. you hope she wasn't too tired, Caitlyn had a tendency to wear herself out after long days and difficult jobs. you didn't want to wake her if she was sleeping, but your desire to see her trumps your worries.

knock, knock.

you gently knock on the door, and after a beat of silence, a familiar voice beckons you in. however, before you could enter, Caitlyn opens the door without you even touching the handle and pulls you into a tight hug.

"hey, baby.. you okay?" you ask, gently carding a hand through her hair. she releases you, a tired but warm smile on her face. "i'm better now that you're here, darling." she gently pulls you into her room, closing the door to reveal its emptiness. you were both relieved and disappointed, as you were hoping to meet Vi, but grateful for the time alone.

the room is quiet as you move towards the bed and sit down, the mattress dipping beneath you. you kick off your shoes before climbing fully onto the bed and, after a beat of silence, you broke the tension.

"soo... how'd it go?" Caitlyn heaves a sigh, flopping down beside you on the bed and groaning. she takes off her shoes and outer layers, and begins to rant. "so much happened, it was incredible, and terrible, and life-changing all at once... and even after all that we- I failed. i found the truth about the undercity, about the crystal, everything, and yet- i couldn't retrieve it." Caitlyn sighs again, and turns to press a kiss to your temple.

"i'm sorry.." you whisper, unsure of what to say. fuck, why is comforting people so hard? Caitlyn chuckles, her breath light against the side of your face. "it's okay, none of it is your fault. i'm just a bit... stressed, darling. nothing to apologize for."

Caitlyn's gaze meets yours, and your breath hitches as clear blue eyes meet yours. "y'know.. i know something that can help with stress," you tease, and shoot Caitlyn a corny wink. she bursts out laughing, lurching forward slightly and your noses brush together as you both giggle.

"oh, shut it, you!" she laughs, but pulls you into a kiss. the mattress creaks slightly as she gets onto her knees, and you follow her lead. she sits up on the bed and you follow, lips chasing hers as she ravishes you.

"mngh.."

the soft whine that escapes your lips made your cheeks heat as Caitlyn pulls you onto her lap. how is this woman so composed? her lips immediately find yours again as she pulls you in, both of her hands frame your face as you meet in another electric kiss.

even though it had only been a few days since you had seen eachother, Caitlyn was determined to make it up to you.

you struggle to ground yourself, gasping between kisses as Caitlyn gently pushes you down upon the bed. she moves to straddle you, her muscular thighs are firm against you and in the moment, you can think of nothing but her. fuck, how did i pull her? the thought evaporates in an instant as she leans down to kiss you again, her skirt riding up as your lips press together.

this kiss is more fierce, a sloppy and entrancing mixture of teeth and tongue. delicate hands travel down to your waist as your back arches off the bed, and you feel a twinge in your gut as Caitlyn rolls her hips against you. "hngh-" you gasp, and Caitlyn pulls away slightly to take in your flushed features.

"is this okay, darling?" you nod fervently, your back arches slightly as your hands find purchase on her hips. Caitlyn chuckles at your enthusiasm but says nothing, before climbing off of you completely. you almost let out an indignant whine, when Caitlyn quickly begins to undress. immediately understanding, you follow her lead, until your both bare except for your undergarments.

"your so pretty, darling," she murmurs, and kisses your collarbone. your breath hitches as her trail of lovemarks and affection travels lower and lower, until she reaches your navel.

Caitlyn presses a gentle kiss on your happy trail before hooking her fingers through the waistband of your soaked panties. her gaze drifts down to your drooly pussy, yet she doesn't move an inch.

"is this okay, my sweet?" the sight of her piercing gaze on your clothed cunt combined with her velvetty words made you tremble, and you nod yet again. your brain is already turned to mush, and both of you know that you're too far gone for words at this point. you have been dating Caitlyn for a few months, and yet you still fold from just a few simple touches. maybe you are pussy whipped.

Caitlyn removed your panties and tosses them to the side before gently toying with your soaked pussy. you clench around nothing as nimble fingers trace through your folds, gathering your slick.

"already so wet, such a good girl," Caitlyn whispers, before leaning down to press a kiss on your clit. simultaneously, she curls a finger inside you, slowly stretching out your gummy walls and easing you into a comfortable rhythm. you can't help but squirm at the intrusion, and the addition of another finger only makes your brain more fuzzy.

"thats it, that's my girl," she coos, curling two fingers against a spot that makes you see stars. at the same time Caitlyn leans down and licks a stripe up your cunt, sucking on your pulsing clit and stimulating all the places her fingers can't reach. "o-oh!" you gasp, your back immediately arching as you begin to slowly grind against her face, desperate for friction. Caitlyn chuckles against your aching cunt, and the vibrations against your pussy make your head spin.

"ffuck- Caitlynnghhg-" you mewl as she slips a third finger into your clenching heat. your slick coats her lips and fingers, and you can feel your release approaching. "m close, please please mommy-" you whine, throwing your head back as your thighs begin to tremble. your lover notices the familiar pet name and realizes how close you are, and begins to speed up her fingers' pace.

in tandem with her strokes, Caitlyn sucks harder on your clit, her tongue working wonders as it swirls over your needy bud. "mommy, please-" you keen, feeling the coil in your stomach tightening to a breaking point.

your cunt flutters and siezes around her fingers as she pushes you over the precipice. with a final, guttural moan, your back arches and your thighs squeeze around your lovers head as your first orgasm of the night washes over you.

as you begin to come down from your high, you realize that Caitlyn has stood up and is scuffling around by your bedside table. your stomach flips in excitement as you see her take out a familiar strap. Caitlyn quickly joins you on the bed, and fastens the harness.

"you did s'good for me, darling, so good. now, i need you to suck on mommy's cock n' get it all wet, okay?" your cheeks flush at her words, and you realize how lewd you had sounded before. "don't get shy on me darling, i need you to stay with me. now, open up, okay?" Caitlyn reaches out to grab your face as you lay on your stomach in front of her. your neck cranes to "taste" her silicone dick as it rubs against your cheek, and you take her cock in your mouth.

you make sure to swirl your tongue over the tip, making direct eye contact with Caitlyn as you do so. a sliver of drool slips past your lips and she doesn't hesitate to scoop it up with her thumb. the amount of trust between you two, combined with the vulnerability of your position, only makes you more needy.

Caitlyn gently pulls her strap out of your mouth, careful not to move around to much lest she choke you. her silicone cock is dripping with your own spit, and she orders you to lay back on the bed.

"relax, dear, just give me a second.." Caitlyn murmurs, crawling atop you and aligning her dripping strap with your soaked cunt. she pauses as she rubs her dick against your folds, and makes eye contact with you. "do you remember the safeword?" you nod, tucking your head into the crook of her neck and whispering it in her ear.

"good girl," Caitlyn murmurs, almost absentmindedly. she aligns her strap with your aching cunt, one hand rubbing soothing circles on your thigh while the other toys with your clit. "your so sweet for me.." she whispers, and slowly begins to push her cock inside of your cunt. you mewl at the intrusion, burying your head into thr crook of her neck as your gummy walls clamp down on her strap.

"you can take it, darling," Caitlyn purrs, and thrusts fully into your soaked heat. swift fingers continue to toy with your clit as you fall apart, crumbling even though she hasn't even moved yet. Caitlyn seems to realize this, and slowly pulls out before pushing her cock back inside of you. her strap reaches places inside of your pussy that your fingers could never hit, and your eyes roll back from pleasure.

"mnghh-ommy!" the term of endearment slips out yet again before you even have the time to think, and Caitlyn curses under her breath. her thrusts begin to increase in pace, reaching deeper and deeper inside you as tears well up in your eyes. the pleasure is mind numbing as she continues to circle your clit with her thumb, and your hips instinctively roll up off the bed towards her touch.

Caitlyn's hair slips over her shoulders, framing the both of you in an indigo silhouette. you can already feel your release beginning to build as Caitlyn thrusts in, buried to the hilt in your sloppy pussy. your clit pulses beneath her touch, already yearning for release.

"mommy, please," you mewl tearily, thighs quaking as your eyes roll back into your head. "m close-" Caitlyn shuts you up with a kiss, burying her tongue in your mouth. you can taste your own slick, and the thought only makes you needier. Caitlyn's thrusts begin to grow sporadic as the bed shakes, and you know that you won't last much longer.

as if on cue, Caitlyn breaks away from your kiss to whisper in your ear. "its okay, baby, you can cum," she murmurs, accentuating her words with a deep thrust. the tip of her cock ever so gently brushes against your cervix and you sob from the mixture of pain and pleasure. the coil in your abdomen is tightening beyond belief, and a few more wanton moans fall past your lips.

Caitlyn rolls her hips especially deep, rocking against you as the sound of skin slapping against skin and your own moans drown your senses.

"go on, hah, darling. you can cum," Caitlyn's voice slurs, her breath tickles your face as your bodies collide. all it takes are these few words for you to come undone, your back arches and your eyes roll back as you fall into ecstasy. tears stream down your face as pleasure washes over you like a tidal wave.

as you come down from your euphoric high, Caitlyn presses soft kisses across your face. "you did so good for me, my sweet, so good. 'm so proud," she coos, brushing the hair out of your face and pressing a kiss to your sweaty forehead. all you can do is nod, too fucked out for anything else.

"lets get you cleaned up, okay darling?" again, you nod, melting into her embrace as she scoops you up. and head towards the bathroom. fuck, she's strong, you think, nestling into her embrace as she presses yet another kiss to your forehead. you wouldn't have it any other way.

suddenly, a knock on the door startles you both and, without warning, a red haired girl barges in.

"Caitlyn! i have something to- OH SHIT" the girl turns away, face almost turning the color of her hair in shock. you rush to cover yourself with a nearby robe, flushing under the scrutiny of the stranger in front of you. Vi, you recognized internally. Caitlyn had only been able to send you one letter while she was in the undercity, but it had told you a bit about the red haired stranger in front of you.

"Vi! what did i tell you about knocking!" Caitlyn is flushed, and quickly wraps a towel around her bare form. Vi, clearly embarrassed, turns away, and you can't help but laugh at the sight of such a gruff individual looking so awkward.

Caitlyn soon joins you in your laughter, and Vi rolls her eyes. "can you two please get decent so i can talk to you?" she huffs, and you can't help but smile. "alright, alright", Caitlyn sighs, pressing a kiss to your temple. "you bathe without me, okay? i'll join you in a minute, after i get decent". she accentuates the last words in a mocking tone, and Vi grumbles again. "lovebirds.." she sighs, and leaves the room, closing the door behind her.

"that should teach her to knock," you giggle, and Caitlyn shoots you a look. "knowing her, it won't," she chuckles, and you squeeze her hand. you can tell she's concerned about whatever Vi had to say, and you know how important this case is to her. "go talk to her, she wouldn't have barged in if it wasn't important."

"i don't want to leave you-"

"i can handle myself, Cait. now seriously, go. i think Vi will throw a fit if you don't join her soon," you reply, kissing Caitlyn again on the nose.

"i love you, darling," she murmurs, and you watch as she gets dressed. blowing you one last kiss, she leaves the room, where you can see Vi's silhouette in the hallway. Caitlyn closes the door behind her and you enter the bathroom, relaxed and content. you knew Caitlyn would join you soon, but for now, it would be best to enjoy a peaceful shower alone. you hope your next meeting with Vi would be less chaotic, and more, as she put it, decent.

Caitvi x reader slowburn multi chapter fic... what do yall think... ummm...... these woman are corrupting my brain hhhhhh..... aaaaaaaa!!! would yall want Decent to become a series?? anyways GOSH this took wayyyyyy too long like i could NOT finish the smutty part in the middle i hope it wasn't too obvious🙏🙏🙏 i actually really enjoyed this req ehhehee- hope u enjoyed too!!!

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oneweirdbookaddict · 23 hours

Text

Alright @undertheopensky and @violet27writes (hope you don’t mind the tag! Sorry!)

This one is for you guys 😂

Part two to this fic!

Can be read separately but will make more sense if you read that one first.

Summary:

Time and Four have Issues as the rest of the chain tries their best to get their resident skyloftian back.

6358 words!

Warnings for torture, violence, mentions of death.

~~~~

Sky takes a slow breath, his return to consciousness rather unpleasant.

His head aches, a dull thrum deep inside his skull.

Weak coughs rattle in his chest, and he a metallic, coppery taste lingers in his mouth.

He’s pretty sure he’s laying on the ground, but it seems… rocky. Tilting and moving and rolling underneath him… as if he’s on a boat.

His head pounds.

His tongue is bleeding… had he bitten it?

He… right… he’d been captured… He’d heard Four screaming his name… Four! He’d head Four screaming- he tries to sit up and immediately collapses back down, floor swaying underneath him.

“Four?” He groans, moving his head off the rough, hot wood. “Four? Smithy? Time?”

He wants to look around, to see if they’re with him, to see if they’re ok, but he’s too weak.

He takes a slow breath.

“Four?” He pleads, jolting when metal clatters.

“You’re awake, good! Hate to think we’d killed you before we got to have our fun! Those other two didn’t last long.”

He manages to look up, finding one of the people who captured them.

Shakes his head, straining from the effort of looking up.

A laugh. Cold and harsh, no humor in it.

“The little one was weak. All bravado until we got him figured out. He wasn’t so brave when his organs were being removed!”

His blood boils at the thought of them hurting Four, face twisting into a glare.

“I’ll kill you.” He promises, forcing himself to sit up and look at the face properly. He’s going to remember this guy and kill him for laying a finger on his friends-

Another laugh.

“I wish you the best of luck.”

And he starts walking away.

“I’ll kill you!” He screams, unsure of where the sudden strength is coming from. But he’s grateful for it. “I’m going to kill you, you hear me?! You’ll pay for their blood with your own! I’m going to kill you!”

He has to pause, out of breath now. Slumps back again, tears burning in his eyes.

They can’t be gone… they… no.

No, they’re the strongest people he knows, Four and his unwavering bravery, unshakable Four. And Time, unwavering and confident… no.

He refuses to believe it- they’re trying to break him.

So he takes a slow breath, scrubs his face off, and lets the self pity wash away into fury.

~~~~

“How’s that cut on your stomach feeling?” He asks, undoing the bandages on Four’s bicep. Brushes his scarf out of the way, too.

“Sore,” Four admits in a volume just above a whisper. He doesn’t think the kid’s talked in full volume- or even half volume- since he woke up for good. “But not terrible.”

“That’s good, these are looking a lot better too.”

“Can we take the stitches out of my thigh?” The smith asks quietly, and he pauses.

Chews his lip- the answer is probably not, but he doesn’t want to just say that. So… “We’ll look at it in a minute.” He decides on, and Four nods.

Hyrule inspects the four slices on the smith’s calf, murmuring softly that they’re healing well.

Four doesn’t like those cuts. Not at all. All the deliberate cuts have four of them- the ones on his calf, on his arm, his bicep, and the four deep gashes on his thigh that he’s honestly still worried about.

He’s sure the four cuts and Four’s namesake isn’t just a coincidence. Something in particular happened with those ones.

“Can I ask-” he starts gently, but the kid interrupts.

“No.” Four says quietly, looking away.

“Four, buddy, we need to know-”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

And they let it go.

A few minutes of silence as they clean, rebandage, note the progress and areas of concern- until Time walked into the room.

Four’s whole demeanor changes instantly, tensing up, face going stony.

Both he and Hyrule pause nervously, waiting for the explosion…

Time’s gaze flicks between the three of them, then slowly steps into the room.

“How-” Time’s voice cracks and the old man pauses to clear his throat. “How are you doing? Those… healing up ok?”

Four’s eyes are ice cold, not even sparing him a word.

Just ignores him, staring determinedly at the cuts over his bicep. He’s finished cleaning them, careful of the forming scabs over them.

“These are healing well.” He says again, if only to make Four feel… better.

It’s disheartening to see the kid so defeated.

Four just nods, expression unreadable.

“Let’s leave the bandages off tonight. Let it air out.” He suggests softly, and Four nods again.

Just looks… so worn down.

“Ok… Rulie?”

“Yep, looking good here. Cleaned and healing well.”

“Good, let’s look at the ones on your thigh.”

Four nods again and scoots his pants down, shifting the fabric of his underclothes up to reveal the deep cuts.

“How are those, any changes?”

A shake of the head.

He gently inspects the cuts, looking for signs of infection, scabbing, straining or pulling stitches…

“Looks good. Want to take these out?”

It’s a bit early, but… they could get away with it if Four wants. He’s desperate to get a smile out of the kid.

He only gets a shrug in response.

“You asked earlier.” He pushes a bit. “Do you want to take them out?”

A long second, then Four nods. “Yes.”

“Alrighty. Want me to help you, or you want to do it?”

Four holds up a trembling hand in response, answering that question.

“Well. That answers that, then.” He says lightly, accepting the small scissors that Hyrule hands him.

He doesn’t get a smile. Just a sad flick of the eyes in response.

~~~~

“There you are, think that’s good.” He says, tightening the bandages around Four’s thigh.

Four stands to adjust his clothing, then looks up at him.

“Thank you.” The teenager whispers, and he nods.

“Yeah. Anytime, Smithy. Let me know if there’s anything else I can do, alright?”

Four nods, drifting to the door.

“Four-” Time tries, but Four ignores him again.

He and Time watch Four slowly leave the room, shoulders hunched.

Time sighs slowly, sinking down into a chair.

“I see you’ve made progress with him.” He says, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t know what else to do.” Time says flatly. “He won’t talk to me.”

“You can’t force him.” He shrugs, moving over to the desk. Time sighs from the other side of the room.

“Did you notice Four was limping?” He asks, genuinely curious if anyone else has noticed.

“What?” Time asks quickly. Apparently not.

“Yep. Had a limp. Right knee. Hiding it well, but it’s hurting him.”

“Is his knee injured or accommodating for…”

“His ribs? I don’t know. We need to leave tomorrow, we can’t risk another day. Take the five of us, search the place top to bottom, not leaving until he’s found…”

“If his ribs are hurting him from walking he might just be accommodating to that.”

“Yeah.” He offers offhandedly, not really paying attention anymore. His mind is on their plan, frowning over the map of the base they’d sketched out. What can they do better than last time?

Things had gone wrong quickly last time- the three of them hadn’t been together, they didn’t get all of them into the base, Legend had been discovered, and Four…

He tries not to think about how bad Four’s injuries were. The way they fought to keep him breathing, to keep him alive.

They weren’t expecting any of them to be that injured. Banged up, sure. Some serious injuries, if they were unlucky. That?

They hadn’t even brought a potion- glass was… noisy. That’s a mistake they won’t be repeating when they get Sky out.

He shakes himself out of the unpleasant thoughts, focusing on what he can control now. Their plan.

“We have to assume security is going to be increased… should we brute force it..? We don’t have the numbers. Stealth mission… Wild, Legend… Hyrule? Twi will insist on going, I’m going to insist on going… is five too many?” He mutters under his breath, letting his gaze drift around the room.

Time understands he’s more talking to himself than to him, and he appreciates the quiet.

“Four’s gonna be pissed when I tell him he’s not coming… but we can’t take him. Hmm…”

It’s late. He can worry about this tomorrow- he needs some sleep to clear his mind.

He sighs, setting the quill down and standing.

Time glances up at him, looking exhausted.

“Get some sleep, Sprite,” He says softly, dabbing his inky fingers on the parchment so he doesn’t stain anything. “You look exhausted.”

“You-” Time starts, but he cuts the man off.

“I’m just going to check on Four, and then I’ll be heading to bed myself in a minute.”

Time nods with a sigh, standing and blowing out the lanterns in the room with him.

“Goodnight, Captain.” Time says quietly, and he gives a small nod as they exit the room together.

“Goodnight, Time. Sleep well.”

~~~~

His stomach rumbles as he walks down the hall, reminding him suddenly that he’d completely forgotten dinner.

So he alters his destination to the lobby of the inn, finding both of his desired goals- a plate of sandwiches Wild had made, and the smith he’d been looking for.

And a bonus- the rancher, who blinks up at him in surprise.

Four’s… dozed off on Twi’s lap.

Twi makes a slashing motion across his throat, the meaning coming across clearly: you wake him, you die.

He nods his understanding, heading to the plate of sandwiches Wild had made for dinner hours ago and taking one.

Studies Four, a task made difficult by the fuzzy blanket engulfing him.

Slow, gentle rise and fall of his chest… lips slightly parted, small hands lightly gripping the fabric of Twi’s tunic, head resting just over the rancher’s heart. Shifting slowly every so often, giving a sleepy mumble every so often.

“He alright?” He asks, and Twi sighs softly.

Makes a weird shrugging gesture, one arm gently wrapping around the smithy.

“I… I don’t know, Wars. He’s a mess.”

He nods with a sigh.

Four has been a mess since he woke up for good.

Barely sleeping, barely eating, refusing to rest from his near fatal injuries, refusing to talk about what had happened unless he thought it could help Sky…

Talking to himself, zoned out all the time, getting his attention was difficult, getting him to do something he didn’t want to do was impossible. Rest his ribs and relax for an hour? Nope.

Sleep for the night? Not happening.

Eat something for dinner? Don’t even think about it.

If you pushed the kid at all? You were on his ‘I don’t like you’ list for a good day or two.

Unless you were Time, who seems to have a permanent place on that list.

The kid could barely stand to be in the same room as their leader- he sees this causing a lot of problems if this continues.

But for now the kid sleeps- somewhat restlessly, he admits, but still sleeping.

He scarfs down another sandwich, ignoring Twi’s raised eyebrow, thinking back to the last time he ate. Did he eat lunch? Yes, he must have, it was… it…

Well… ok, did he eat breakfast? Did he… sleep last night?

No wonder he’s so exhausted.

He blinks slowly, shaking his head at himself. He’s a mess. He stands with a yawn, eyes finding Twi.

“I need to get to sleep, you want any help with him or something? Getting him to bed?”

“Nah, I’ve got him. Thanks, Cap. Sleep tight.”

“You, too, Rancher.” He nods, heading down the hall, finding his room, flopping onto the bed and crashing almost immediately.

~~~~

“What’s with the urgency, Cap?” Twi asks as he walks in with Legend.

“Plan to get Sky back.” He answers, and all the heroes perk up.

Even Four focuses on him long enough to meet his eyes, then slowly returns to staring out the window.

Now that everyone’s in the room and he’s got all their attention, he starts explaining his plan.

“Ok. Plan is to go tonight- Wild, Hyrule, Me, Twi, and Legend. We’re going stealth rather than force, so let’s try to make this an in and out entry. Hopefully no combat.”

“I want to go.” Four says quietly.

He takes a slow breath, meeting the kid’s eyes.

“Not happening. Wild, you’re good at stealth and can offer us stealth potions. We’re going to need those, the ones that last as long as you can manage. We’re going to split and search, Wild and Twi on the bottom floor, Me and Hyrule will take the ground level-”

“Hyrule and I.” Someone corrects- Twi.

“Oh, can it.” He rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling. “Legend, your job is to use all those fancy tools and tricks of yours to figure out if there’s any secret rooms or anything they could be hiding him in.”

“I want-”

He meets Four’s eyes and holds his gaze.

“Four, for the sake of your safety, no. You’re recovering, you’re exhausted, I understand you want to come with us, but your ribs are still busted, your wrist is weak, you’re in pain- fighting is going to be a challenge for you.”

“But the goal is to not be in a fight-” Four tries, and he smiles softly.

“That doesn’t guarantee there won’t be one, Smithy. You’re not coming with us. I’m sorry.”

For a second he thinks Four’s going to cry.

Then the smithy’s eyes dart away and the kid slumps in his seat.

A long moment of silence.

He addresses the group once again. “We’re leaving in six hours- nightfall. More security, but less general activity. Get what you need, eat a bite, whatever. Meet back here at nine chimes.”

Some nods, and they all disperse.

Both the smith and the rancher linger, Twi raising an eyebrow at him after glancing at Four.

Expecting an argument, he waits for the smithy to talk first- but the kid just slowly slides out of his seat and carefully makes his way out the door and down the hall with a sharp sniffle.

He makes a mental note to check on the kid in a minute.

Glances at Twi, waiting for the rancher to speak.

“He had a panic attack earlier.”

His heart sinks. “Four?”

“Yep. Kept saying… you know. What he’s been saying. Sky’s dead and there’s… no point in…”

Two trails off, and they stand in a horrible silence.

“Well.” He sighs slowly, “I was about to go talk to him anyway. Maybe…” he trails off.

“Yeah.” Twi says quietly.

Then- “Do you really think-”

“No.” He says firmly. He refuses to consider it. “Sky… no. He’s fine. They didn’t kill Four, they didn’t kill Time… I think he’s alive. They want information, and… Sky doesn’t have it. He’s gonna be in rough shape, but he’s going to be alright.”

They don’t mention the horrible minute Four wasn’t breathing.

Another long silence.

“Well…” he starts, mind going back to the smith.

He makes to leave, but Twi hesitantly takes his arm and stops him. “Wars… this is going to work, right?”

Taking a deep breath, he musters a smile. The confident, easy going one he was known for back in the day. “If everything goes to plan.”

Twi nods, unconvinced. “I don’t know what it’ll take to break that kid, but I don’t want to see it. This has to work.”

“It will,” he promises, though they both know it’s empty words.

~~~~

Four is a lump of blankets on the bed of his room when he gently pokes his head in after receiving a small ‘hm?’ When he’d knocked.

“Hey, buddy, you doing ok?” He asks softly, making his way to the bed.

The lump of blankets rustles, making room for him to sit.

He does so with a groan as his knees ache, stretching out and laying on the bed.

Four’s frozen for a moment, but slowly scoots closer.

“C’mere,” He says quietly, and Four shifts to slowly nestle into his side. He’s not a touchy person, but Four needs a hug. He can manage for a moment or two.

His arms gently wrap around the kid, rubbing his back with a yawn.

“You in pain?” He yawns, only getting another rustle from the lump of blankets.

Four clearly doesn’t want to talk, so he lets him be. Just rubs his back slowly, the kiddo slowly cuddling back, small but toned arms wrapping around him.

His eyes close for a moment, giving another yawn.

He’s never been very relaxed with physical contact, but he finds himself enjoying the relaxation.

Four somehow seems to realize this, or perhaps it’s merely a habit when Four slowly starts drawing small circles into his back.

Tracing little loops, eventually switching to what he assumes is letters and words, continuing even when his hand stops and he’s gone still, savoring every moment.

Eyes closed, until he’s drifting… drifting…

“Captain?” A voice says softly, and his eyes flutter blearily. Not wanting to be awake, he slowly sighs and curls into the blankets around him more.

“Wars, hey, time to start getting ready.” The same voice says gently, and he sighs again. Gives a mumble that even he’s not sure what he’s saying.

There’s a soft laugh, a hand touching his shoulder-

He snaps awake, shoving the hand off him, heart rate spiking panickedly in his chest.

“Hey… sorry, we’re getting ready to leave.” Twi offers quietly, and he nods slowly, trying to calm his breathing down.

Glances down at Four, ignoring Twi’s second apology. The smith is still sleeping, hair all in his face.

“Leaving… yeah… what time is it?” He says as he blinks away the grogginess, standing carefully.

“Almost nightfall. Eight and a half chimes. You should eat, we’ve still got a while.”

His eyes linger on the kid on the bed- despite Four’s insistence, he couldn’t convince himself that Four was of age.

“Wars, hey, you fell asleep, that’s all. We’re going to get Sky back. Are you alright?” Twi asks softly.

“I- yeah. Yeah, sorry.” He says, shaking his bleariness off. “Just… don’t remember falling asleep.”

It’s easier than explaining he fell asleep with Four cuddling him and the kid was at the opposite side of the bed when he woke up.

He looks back at the bed. Four’s… still asleep. Breathing slowly, lips slightly parted, face peaceful…

He shakes his hesitation off, following the rancher out of the room.

~~~~

Fifteen minutes.

He starts strapping his armor to his body.

Laces his boots.

Straps his sword and shield to his back.

One knife on both arms, one in his boot.

“Please let me come.” Four whispers, and he jumps.

Looks at the teenager, sitting up on the bed, looking miserable.

Hopeless.

He moves back to the bed, taking a seat next to the kid. Four’s eyes slowly find him.

“Do you trust me?” He asks softly instead of giving the response Four knows he’s going to get.

Soft grey eyes blink at him.

A small nod.

He reaches and gently takes Four’s hand.

“Four, buddy. I’m gonna get him back. I promise you. I’m not leaving without him. When I get back tonight Sky is going to be with me. I promise you that.”

Ten minutes.

“I’m worried about you, smithy. I think you’re pushing away what you went through to focus on Sky.”

Four looks away.

Swallows, blinking.

“I want to help you, buddy.” He practically whispers. “But I don’t know how. Do you trust me? For real?”

Four looks him in the eye again, nodding.

With much more confidence this time.

“I’m glad.” He says quietly, patting Four’s arm gently. “I trust you, too, you know. I’m not leaving you behind for anything you did. Or because I don’t trust you, or… or anything. I want you here because I’m worried sick about you. That’s all. So… can you do me a favor while I’m gone?”

Four nods slowly, blinking again.

“Eat something for me. Drink some water. Clean your wounds off, see how they’re doing, maybe even take a bath. Take some time to take care of yourself.”

Another nod.

He offers a smile, and almost gets one in return.

It’s the best he’s gotten since he got the smithy back.

“Thanks.” He says, patting the smith’s shoulder.

“Be safe.” Four whispers, and he nods now.

Offers a little smile, walking to the door.

“Safe is my middle name.”

He swears he hears the tiniest laugh before he closes the door, leaving Four behind.

~~~~

He’s sitting against the wall, pressing his forehead to the cold stone.

The guards open the cell door, carrying his food for the night, and he waits.

Waits for the one to get closer… grabs the neck of his uniform, scowling.

Shoves him roughly against the wall, using his forearm to cut off his oxygen.

“You’re going to tell me where my friends are,” he says calmly, despite the rage burning through him. “And maybe I’ll consider letting you live. Do we have a deal?”

He’s weaker than he’d like- woozy, not quite steady, hunger and pain making him less aware than he’d like.

But this is his chance- and by the goddess is he going to take it. His hand slowly finds the concealed weapons the guard has- a knife, a heavy but short club-type thing…

Takes the knife, tossing the other thing away.

“Good.” He releases some of the pressure on the guard’s neck. He feels no guilt as the man wheezes and coughs. This is the same one who bragged about torturing Four.

“I don’t know.” The man rasps shakily. “They’re just- gone. We tortured the little one- we were attacked afterwards. It was- it was chaos.”

Another long coughing fit.

“Your friends were gone. The boss was furious- we might’ve killed the small one.”

His hand trembles, knife nicking the man’s throat.

A drop of blood runs down the guard’s neck.

Before he can reply, he’s shoved roughly.

Losing balance in his weakened state, stumbling away, and something cracks over his head. He gasps, knife plunging into something soft-

For a second, he’s blind. Only seeing white, his knees hit the ground, nausea clenching in his stomach-

Ringing.

Loud ringing.

He slowly scoots to find the corner of the cell as he hears sounds of a struggle through the ringing- metal on metal of swords clashing, a pained grunt-

“Sky! Sky, Sky, hey… hey, talk to me, buddy, where are you hurt?”

“Wars..?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m here, Sky. I’ve got you. Where are you hurt? Drink this, bud.”

A cool bottle is nudged to his lips, hands easily moved when he attempts to push it away.

“Where’s… others?”

“Shh… drink.”

He takes a sip, sighing softly as the pounding in his head fades slowly. The ringing fades slowly. His vision clears, revealing a dusty and slightly bloody friend.

The body of his captor on the floor next to them, unmoving.

His knife sticking out of the little space between pieces of armor.

“Most of us are here, we got Four and Time, they’re alright. Promise. You just drink that, Sky. Rest up.”

He slowly finishes the potion, feeling much better afterwards. Achy and exhausted for sure, but… no longer feels like he’s burning from the inside out.

“Mm…” he tries, but his lips don’t really work.

“Good…” Wars says softly, hand slowly reaching out but backing away at the last minute. “Let’s get you to the inn, yeah? You’re safe now. I’ve gotcha.”

“Wars?! Hyrule?!”

“In here! I’ve got him!” Wars calls, making his head pound again.

“W’rs… Four?” He repeats, and Wars shushes him gently.

“He’s safe, Sky, I promise.”

He blinks grime out of his eyes, forcing himself to squint at the captain.

Legend runs into the room, kneeling next to him.

“Hey… hey, Sky.” Legend says softly, and he manages a small smile.

“Hey, Lege… how… y’doin’?”

“Good, really good, you alright? You hurt?”

“ ‘ve… been better.” He confesses, gratefully slumping into Legend’s arms when the veteran carefully scoots him away from the cold wall.

“I got him a potion, he doesn’t seem to have any serious injuries…” Wars is saying softly, and he can hear more voices slowly adding to the chorus.

Chorus? Singing… Zelda sings… he misses Zelda.

Zelda… he ought to write to her again, it’s been a while… because he was captured…

Hm. He probably shouldn’t tell her that, though.

“You can rest, Sky.” A voice whispers softly, and he manages a drowsy nod before giving in to the pull of sleep.

~~~~

“I got him a potion, he isn’t injured too bad anymore, he just needs some rest and food. Let’s get him back, we’ve been here too long.” He says, and the little group nods and readies themselves quickly.

It’s an easy trip out, to all their surprise. Sneaking past their security is… not difficult, and they only guard the cells. With little activity going on around the base, getting out unnoticed is easy.

There’s absolutely no urgency to get back to the inn like there was with Four. Sky… is… well, mostly ok.

Not really all that injured, as far as they can tell.

And he’d already had a potion.

Sky dozes off in Twi’s arms as they walk, having eaten some spare snacks and water they’d had when they got out of the base.

Not much, but more than the knight’s probably had in days.

The master sword is strapped to his back, and he has the oddest temptation to draw the sword.

His mind itches, unsatisfied with the results. He feels like he’s missing something- something important.

But Sky is with them, he’s fed and healed and sleeping gently, they have the master sword… nothing is wrong.

The skyloftian twitches.

It’s a quiet walk back to the inn.

They walk in the door, scanning Sky over for the hundredth time, meeting the others in the lobby as they walk in.

“He’s alright, he’s-”

Four’s at his side in an instant, eyes flickering over Sky, hand reaching out to gently brush over the Skyloftian’s shoulder.

“We’re guessing a nasty concussion, broken ribs, starvation and malnutrition, dehydration-”

“He has a head injury, look at his arms, put him down-”

And that’s when the seizure happens.

Twi yelps, immediately setting Sky down, Four practically shoves all of them away from the man, forcing them all to watch helplessly as Sky convulses.

“Stop!” Four says quickly when he tries to move toward his friend, and he freezes.

And they wait- not too long, until Sky slowly stops twitching and goes still.

“Sky?” Four asks softly, slowly kneeling next to the skyloftian. Blue eyes find Four slowly.

He moves next to Four, and the smithy lets him this time.

“Hey, Sky, how you feeling? You ok?” He asks softly, noting how confused the man looks.

“Mhm… ‘m ok.” Sky mumbles, eyes flicking to him before back to Four.

Four’s holding Sky’s hand… checking his pulse. Eyes lingering on his chest, watching for rise and fall…

“Sky? Can you answer some questions for me?” Four asks softly, and Sky nods.

“Good… where are you right now?”

“An… an inn. We were in the cell… Wars n Legend got me…”

“Good. Let’s get you a potion, alright? How are you feeling?”

He’s got a potion in his hands in a flash, handing it to the smithy. Four nods his thanks, eyes still on Sky.

“Just… sore. Tired.”

“Weak? Lightheaded, dizzy?”

“No.” Sky answers, and Four nods again.

Offers the potion, slowly getting to his feet.

Sky sips at it slowly, still seeming really out of it.

“Think he’s alright.” Four says quietly, looking at the ground. “That’s common after a seizure. And he had a head injury… not surprised he had one. Get that potion into him and let him sleep.”

And the smith is gone, out the door of the inn.

~~~~

It’s a long night.

Four comes back with a thick book about seizures, sitting in the room Sky’s taken with him. The kid doesn’t sleep at all, and he doesn’t have the heart to try to force the teenager when he’s not sleeping either.

So they’re both exhausted when it’s morning.

He glances at the door when he hears it open, meeting Time’s gaze. “Morning, Sprite.”

“Morning, Captain.” Time says distractedly, looking at Four. “Morning, Smithy. How’s Sky?”

Four’s eyes don’t move from the man on the bed.

“I don’t want to talk to you.” The smith says in a whisper.

Time steps into the room and closes the door. “I’m sorry to hear that. I’d quite like to talk with you, though, and you’ve been refusing for days.”

He holds his breath, the tension in the room unbearable. But the silence lingers- neither one says anything.

“Four, I’m sorry.” The old man says quietly, not moving from the door.

In case Four tries to escape.

“You’re not.” The smith mutters.

Time sighs deeply, eye closing. “Ok. I’m not. I wasn’t about to watch you die when Sky-”

“Shut up.” Four whispers, eyes flicking briefly to the door.

“Four,” he pleads, and the kid jumps. “You don’t even know what happened. Sky wasn’t in the cell when we found Time, he wasn’t with you, you were actively bleeding out, we looked for him briefly but-”

“You should’ve found him, no one cares if I-”

“BUT chances were he was in much better condition than you were!” He continues over the smith.

“You didn’t know that.” Four says, voice flat.

The kid’s fighting tears back. Good- the kid needs to process things somehow. If this is how it’s gonna happen… so be it.

“We didn’t, but-”

“If it were Wind you would’ve torn the base apart looking for him.” Four whispers, voice shaking. Then looks at Time for the first time. “If it were Twi you’d want to be the one left behind.”

The old man physically flinches.

“You don’t get to choose-” the smith’s voice breaks, and the kid stands quickly. “You promised me.”

Four’s hands jump to his eyes, scrubbing furiously at them. “You promised me. And you lied.”

He stands, too, moving slowly to the smith.

“I am sorry for that, Four. But I could never live with myself if you had died.”

Tears drop down Four’s cheeks.

“And if Sky had? If he still does?” Four chokes, grey eyes flicking to the bed again.

“I still-”

“You don’t get to play god. You don’t get to choose who dies and who doesn’t-”

Four’s voice breaks again, and then the kid is just crying.

“You promised and you still lied to me.” Four chokes, staring at Time with pure hurt.

Time slowly moves to sit in the chair Four had abandoned, meeting the kid’s gaze.

“I never intended to hurt you, Four.” Time says softly. “I took a risk- I was hoping Wars or Legend had found him, and when they didn’t… you had deteriorated so quickly. We had to get going right then. We took a risk- as far as we knew, Sky wasn’t injured badly. You were. I won’t ask for your forgiveness- I only ask for your understanding. We took a risk, and I’m not sorry for saving you. But I am sorry for the pain that choice caused you and breaking my promise.”

Four scrubs at his eyes again, sniffling.

Tries to talk, but he only manages a choking noise before the kid is just bawling.

Knees on the floor, arms around himself, face tucked into his arms to hide it.

He stands quickly and kneels next to the smithy, putting a soft hand on his back.

Which quickly turns into the kid curling into his chest, arms around him.

“Shh…” he whispers as Four cries. “I’ve got you, buddy. It’s ok. It’s gonna be ok.”

“This is all my fault.” Four sobs, and he freezes.

Then grabs Four tightly, startling the poor kid, crushing him tightly to his chest.

“No. No, you listen here. This is not your fault. You hear me? Everything was way outside of your control- no part of this was your fault. I promise you- you trust me, right? This was not your fault.”

Four chokes weakly, face pressing into his chest.

Hands weakly grabbing his tunic, sniffling sharply.

“I promise you.” He says, much more softly. “There was no part of this that was your fault. You didn’t choose to be captured and tortured. You didn’t choose any of this. It isn’t your fault. And I’ll say it as many times as you need to hear it, ok?”

Four finally gives a weak nod, pulling back just enough to wipe his eyes, then sinks back into him.

And they sit there, supporting each other in silence.

~~~~

Sky wakes up slowly.

Much… nicer than when he had before.

Not nearly as much pain, just some lingering soreness… and he’s on a comfortable bed.

Four sits next to him, in a chair next to the bed.

Eyes locked on him, looking… nervous.

“Four.” He rasps, trying for a smile. He bursts into tears instead, startling the hell out of the poor boy.

Then Four’s fretting over him in a panic, asking if he’s hurt, what he needs, should he get Wars-

“You’re ok?” He sobs, grasping Four’s arm tightly before the kid can move.

Four nods, blinking oddly. Another nod, and Four makes an odd noise. Like a squeak.

He coughs, Four slowly helping him sit up and drink a bit of water.

“Yeah.” Four says softly, slowly taking his hand once he leans back again. “Yeah.”

He wipes his eyes, nodding.

Four still hovers, watching.

“It’s ok… c’mere, Four.” He chokes, patting the bed next to him and carefully scooting to the side. “We’re ok, we’re…” his voice breaks again, and he almost laughs.

Four joins him without hesitation, curling into his side with a shaking breath.

He slowly hugs his friend, rubbing his back. “Hey… hey, what is it?” He asks softly, and Four chokes.

“Nothing, it’s nothing, I’m fine-” Four cuts off weakly, swallowing thickly.

“Hey… hey, talk to me, what’s going on?” He asks softly, and Four sniffles.

Silence. He looks down at the teenager, worried-

“ ‘m sorry.” Four whispers suddenly, voice choked.

“No… no, no no, kiddo, you have nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t do anything wrong, ok? I promise.”

“They hurt you cuz of me- because I got hurt and had to leave- ‘n they didn’t try to find you-”

“Shh… breathe, kiddo. Just breathe. It’s not your fault. I promise, ok? You did nothing wrong. I’m glad you’re ok, and that’s all. I’d never forgive myself if anything happened to you if you were… I’m just glad you’re ok.”

Four sniffles again, but nods slowly.

Then- “Love you.” The kid whispers, making a small gulping sound.

He squeezes the kid tighter, blinking yet more tears out of his eyes. “I love you too, kiddo.”

~~~~

Sky doesn’t have another seizure.

He improves rapidly, much to all of their relief.

He grows more comfortable, the lethargy wearing off, gets back to walking around, eating with them…

The skyloftian clings to Time and Four in particular.

Time still tends to stick to himself- never one for intimacy like that- but Four…

Four won’t leave Sky alone.

The smith follows the skyloftian around as often as he can, sitting next to him during meals, sharing the room and eventually even bed when Sky assures the kid he’s ok with it, and doesn’t sleep well unless Sky’s nearby.

Sky seems to enjoy it, never pushing the smith away and seeming… happy.

Their both dealing with their kidnapping and torture, but… he’s glad they can find comfort in each other.

Always has an arm around the kid, or his sailcloth, letting Four lean on his side when they rest…

Sky in particular struggles with nightmares and flashbacks, which Four helps with. A lot.

He confesses once, in a shaky whisper, that Four’s screams haunt him. The ugly scar on Four’s side that Sky’s eyes linger on, Four’s hand lingers on when the skin is exposed… and Four sleeps curled up on that side. Protecting it.

It’s a sad realization that Sky actually points out without meaning to.

Four’s drifted off early, curled up with his head on Sky’s leg, and the skyloftian casually asks “Is that the side he was cut open on?”

They all pause to look at the kid, and he nods slowly.

“Yeah. The side he’s curled around? Yeah… see the stitching in his tunic? From being repaired. That’s the side. Weird he sleeps on it, wouldn’t that hurt?”

“He always sleeps on that side. Won’t sleep otherwise. It’s like he’s protecting it- see how his arms are?”

Dead silence as they all realize this.

He slowly shifts Four to undo the belt the kid wears all the time, slowly pulling his tunic up-

“What are you doing? Wars?” Sky protests quietly.

“Making sure nothings wrong with it.” He says equally quietly, and that silences the group.

It looks fine, just a long gash of scabbing from his rib cage to his hip. Hyrule gently prods it, checking for tenderness and other signs of internal bleeding, reporting that there’s nothing.

So he’s not in pain. Probably.

Just… well, traumatized.

Sky helps him pull the kid’s tunic off, taking his headband and boots off so they can actually put him to bed. Unsurprisingly, Sky goes with him.

He carries the smith, waking past Legend, setting him gently on the bed when he gets to the room Four and Sky had been sharing.

Knees tucked up to his chest, arms wrapped around his stomach where the cut was.

“How the hell can he sleep like that?” Legend says, having followed him to the room.

Sky gets ready for bed, too, giving a small smile at them.

He has to laugh. “Right? Looks crazy uncomfortable.”

They watch the pair for a moment, then he sighs and leaves the room with the veteran.

“Think they’re gonna be ok?” Legend asks, uncharacteristically uncertain.

He takes a glance at the veteran, then nods his head.

Starts down the hall to his room, stretching slightly.

“Yeah. Yeah, they’re gonna be just fine.”

~~~~

29 notes · View notes

narrans · 1 day

Text

One Shot | Worth the Heartbreak

WARNING:

I usually don’t post stuff that has specific warnings, but I think this one may be warranted. I wrote this from a prompt about loss and death of a dear friend who spent years developing a friendship only to have it taken away. I wrote this to be emotionally wrecking and it is meant to be uncomfortable. More importantly, I wrote this to be real. Life is tough and sometimes really bad things happen that we have to endure.

What matters is the strength and the growth each one of these difficult opportunities provide. Bad things happen – good. We can get stronger from them. Life is a test of endurance, mental fortitude, and indominable spirit. Life is a test of forgiveness and learning to trust and love again. Life is messy and sometimes leaves scars and baggage, but isn’t that proof that you lived?

Leave your baggage behind, put the essentials in a backpack, and travel through life with us. Life is too short to haul a mountain of things behind you.

Hopefully, this will help show how precious life is.

If you are uncomfortable or unsure about what was stated above, I don’t advise you read this.

The prompt is listed below.

Still here with me?

Good.

Let’s go…

~~~~~^*^*^*^*^~~~~~

The rain pounded over the windshield. Lightning illuminated the sky in quick, flickering bursts. It felt like the paparazzi snapping picture after picture.

As much as she loved the rain, she hated the lightning just for that reason; but that was years ago.

Thankfully, she would be away from all that mess. She liked begin away from all of it.

Vanessa spotted her shared home just around the corner and braced herself mentally to get completely and utterly soaked. She pulled into her parking spot and looked up at the house as another bolt of lightning streaked out across the sky.

Two quick breaths. Focus. Imagine the movements.

Trust your body to move.

Vanessa stopped dead as she recalled his mantra to her. Curses she thought as her whole body slipped further down in the driver’s seat. It’s been years and it still gets to me.

Vanessa took a minute to collect herself before charging into the deluge before her. Rain hammered at her shirt and pelted her face. The distance was only about twenty meters or so, which was basically no distance at all, but it still soaked her to her bones.

Thankfully, Vanessa prepared and had her keys ready, so the moment the door was open it was closed again with a solid thud.

The quiet of the house was a welcome one, but unsettling at the same time. Vanessa’s roommate, Jody, was far from quiet. Constant chatterbox. Endless conversant. Unfathomable irrelevant facts.

Jody was noisy.

A quiet house didn’t suit her, so it immediately made Vanessa suspicious that there was no sound. It honestly was a bit welcome. After days of travel, Vanessa was ready to relax.

“Surprise!”

Spoke too soon.

Vanessa hadn’t made it two steps away from the entrance when Jody jumped out from the living room doorway. Her backpack was barely off of her shoulder when Jody rushed over and gave her friend a massive hug, her dark curls bouncing playfully as she pranced over.

“Happy Birthday! I missed you!”

Birthday?

That’s right!

Vanessa’s bewildered look wasn’t cleared away fast enough as Jody pulled away to look at her friend.

“Ness! You forgot it was your birthday?!” Jody scolded. Vanessa looked away scarlet cheeked.

“Well, traveling will do that to you,” she mumbled. “And what is this ‘surprise’ nonsense. Don’t tell me you invited people over for a surprise birthday party.”

“No! Ya’ goof,” Jody chided playfully as she rolled her eyes. “I know you’d hate that. I did get you a gift though. Come on! I want to see your face when you open it!”

As well as being a chatterbox, Jody was actually a very thoughtful gift giver. It came from years of talking and weaseling out every story and secret from her victims.

Everyone, that is, except for Vanessa. While a few drunk evenings allowed Jody some stories, Vanessa kept many things close to her chest. It was only natural for the ultimate gossip girl to gravitate toward Vanessa. Every year since the two had become friends, Jody managed to pull off some really great gifts despite the challenges.

“Jody, you didn’t have to get me anyth-.”

“Shush your face and open!” said Jody gleefully as she guided Vanessa into the living room toward a small box fifteen centimeters in all directions. “No shaking. Fragile. Just tear and relish in the joy. Ah! I’m so excited for you to see!”

Vanessa rolled her eyes and tapped the frilly pink paper. The box sounded hollow, which was concerning for Vanessa.

“Good grief, Jody. Did you give me an empty box to start some scavenger hunt?” moaned Vanessa. What she really wanted was a nap after the jetlag set in on the drive back. Too late. Jody’s camera was already on and recording.

“Nope! It’s in there,” smiled Jody. “Now, come on!”

Her whining tone told Vanessa that Jody was moments away from completely imploding and opening the package herself. Relinquishing control, Vanessa sighed and opened the box. Tearing the paper was a bit of a trick because of the ultra-durable clear tape Jody used. Eventually, the paper pealed away to reveal the top of a cardboard box and the tab to open the box.

“Jody, I swear if this is part of your bottle cap collection, I’m…” Vanessa’s voice trailed off as she pried the top off of the box and looked inside.

She looked back.

A pet.

It was a small humanoid. They had been around for a while. Genetically designed, they were practically identical to humans except for their size.

Immediately, Vanessa’s body started to shake. It began as a tremble and escalated quickly to full blown shakes. Her heart was racing. She couldn’t breathe.

This was the last thing she wanted.

“Surprise! Do you like her? I spent quite a bit of time making sure I found the perfect one for y-… Oh! Ness! Don’t cry! I knew you’d love it; well, her,” squealed Jody.

Vanessa hadn’t even realized tears were pouring down her cheeks. From being shaken earlier to now, it was quickly spiraling Vanessa out of control. Vanessa, now hyperventilating, backed away from the box and curled into a ball on the couch.

Now was when Jody realized her reading of the situation was wrong.

“Ness? Ness, are you alright?” Jody put her phone away and rushed over to her friend’s side, reaching her arms around her to hug her.

“W-w-why… did you get that?” Vanessa choked out as she focused on her breathing to calm herself down.

“That? Oh, her? I… well… I thought you… you’d… you know… that you’d like one. I asked your sister an-.”

Vanessa threw her friend’s arms off of her and she glared at her friend, or so she thought, and snarled, “You did what?!”

Jody was absolutely stunned. Words escaped her. Vanessa had never reared her head at Jody like this. They’d had their disagreements and spats, but nothing that made Vanessa act like this.

“I… uh… I mean… yeah. I messaged her to get some ideas for your birthday. It… was on my Insta. She said she knew your birthday was around the corner and said you used to have a pet that you really liked when you were young. I confirmed it with your parents and th-…”

“You what?!” shrieked Vanessa. As if the couch were charged with a live wire, Vanessa leaped off of the couch and staggered away. “Jody, please tell me you’re joking!”

Jody barely shook her head “no” before Vanessa crumpled onto her knees and covered her face, sobbing uncontrollably. Jody tried again to console her friend, but this time only handed Vanessa some tissues.

“Sweetie, I’m so sorry. I… I’m obviously missing something, but I want you to know I didn’t mean it. I swear. I just wanted to give you something great for your birthday,” urged Jody.

Vanessa, on the other hand, could only see red.

Hurt.

Pain.

Everything she had left behind.

“Jody, why? Why why why why why why why?”

“Why what?” Ness, you’re not making sense. Take a breath. Just… talk to me,” said Jody. Vanessa couldn’t manage any words at this point. Too many feelings and emotions were wracking her body. Memory after memory played in front of her eyes. Emotions she’d forgotten she had threatened to strangle her.

Out of all of her emotions, grief was the one that wrenched at her heart.

She wasn’t sure how or when, but she found herself on the couch balling her eyes out and then, after some unknown span of time, she found her voice again. There was a warm mug of tea in front of her and Jody had wrapped a few thick blankets over her shoulders, taking a seat nearby and waiting for her friend to come back.

Vanessa, eyes puffy and stinging, blinked away the blur as she twisted around on the couch and sat upright. The box was gone and, instead, there was a cage in the corner of the room by the window where Vanessa saw a pair of heterochromia eyes vanish.

Just that motion alone formed a lump in Vanessa’s throat. She had half a mind to retreat to her room and not say anything, but it was seeing Jody’s face and the red rims around her eyes that made her rethink those actions. It wasn’t time to forgive her friend, but an explanation was warranted.

After all, Jody didn’t know everything that happened back then. She didn’t know how it all started.

Vanessa leaned forward and clasped the mug in her hands. The warmth spread through her frigid, calloused fingers. It was soothing and brought some semblance of comfort as she sipped the steaming liquid.

“Hey,” Jody said weakly.

“Hey.” Vanessa’s voice was raw and dry like sandpaper. She took another drink of tea and gestured for her friend to join her closer on the couch. Jody practically vaporized from her spot to sit beside her friend.

“Ness, I just wanted to say that I am so sorry. I thought I was doing something good and thoughtful and…”

“It’s okay,” mumbled Vanessa. In her mind, everything wasn’t okay; however, for Jody’s sake she needed to at least invite a dialogue. “It was… just a lot. I’m drained from travel and then everything hit me all at once.”

Jody nodded and glanced at the cage before looking back to her friend and roommate.

“Do… never mind.��

“What?” asked Vanessa. Jody chewed on her bottom lip before she looked back at her friend as if afraid to ask. Vanessa already knew what her friend wanted. “You want to know why I was upset.”

Her conclusion lingered in the air before Vanessa continued.

“Jody, if I tell you, you have to swear that you will never utter a word of this to anyone. I mean anyone. If I find out you did, I swear I’l-.”

“I swear on all I hold dear I won’t say a word,” promised Jody. The look in her eyes was enough of a promise for her counterpart.

With that, Vanessa took a breath and started to speak. It was strange. Other than her journal, she had never confided this information into another living soul.

~~~^*^*^~~~

It started with a move when she was ten years old. Her gymnastics career was already showing great promise. Many of her instructors said that she should consider going professional and try out for the Olympic teams. These seeds of promise inspired her parents to move across the country and hire some of the most esteemed gymnasts who would be willing to teach her.

The very first day was filled with intense training and countless drills. All around, Vanessa saw other girls who were stronger, faster, and more flexible than her. Every turn produced someone who was far more skilled than she was at performing her routines.

It made her feel alone.

It wasn’t until the very end when her gymnastics instructors wanted to have a meeting with her parents that she noticed the cage at the corner of the room and a pet sitting up against the edge of the bars. Vanessa’s fascination with the small human-like creatures was insatiable and she ended up going over and sticking her fingers against the bars.

The pet was an older male. His silvery brown hair came to his shoulders, and he looked tired but well groomed. His legs were out straight, and his arms were folded across his chest. He was wearing something that resembled athletic wear, which included a shirt and sports shorts that came to his knees.

“Hey there little guy,” she cooed, never having interacted with a pet before. She wiggled her finger, but the pet did nothing to acknowledge her existence. He simply leaned back further against the cage and sighed. “What’s your name?”

Still no response. Vanessa felt a bit off-put by the small creature and looked down to see a sign.

“Norden: The Community Pet. Please do NOT feed, touch, handle, or release the pet without supervision from Dimitri.”

Dimitri was her instructor!

“Norden? Is that your name? Norden?” The pet sighed before opening his eyes and looking at Vanessa. His light blue eyes almost looked gray. They were orbs that contained a wispy sky, and Vanessa was immediately hypnotized by them.

“Do you require something?” he asked bluntly. His voice was deep and he had some kind of accent that made him sound incredibly sophisticated. Awed, Vanessa shook her head and smiled.

“N-no. I just wanted to come over and say hi. I’ve never seen a pet in person before,” Vanessa replied. As a child, the concept of pets was a natural one. Her youth played into her innocents of the reality of the situation. Everyone else was okay with pets, and she naturally adopted the concept.

The pet sighed and shook his head before leaning back against the wall.

“Well, if you don’t have anything to contribute to the conversation, then I’m afraid I must decline engagement,” he said. Vanessa didn’t quite understand what he meant until he said, “So, leave me alone.”

He didn’t raise his voice.

He didn’t say anything overly unkind.

Still, it made Vanessa wilt and shuffle off to retrieve her belongings. It was disheartening. She always liked little critters and the commercials and stores always made pets seem so friendly. She didn’t think they could be so dismissive, and she certainly didn’t think they could be capable of hurting her feelings.

The days turned to weeks which turned into months. She found herself gravitating toward the cage every few days while she stretched just to say “hi” to the little man in the cage. Responding wasn’t Norden’s forte, but he sometimes acknowledged her presence with a grunt or a huff.

Vanessa’s presence wasn’t just being ignored by the pet in the cage. The other girls and a few of the boys had recently taken to making little remarks and comments to Vanessa or around her about her lack of skill. These jabs initially didn’t bother the youngster, seeing that she figured she was just learning and that she would get better with time.

It was the constant comments that, after six months, really started getting to her. Vanessa tried being strong and even brought it up to her instructors and teachers, but none of them were able to really do anything about it. Even when they held a group meeting talking about sportsmanship and keeping belittling to a minimum, the comments didn’t stop and were now said more subtly.

The jabs came from outside and, sadly, from within. Vanessa’s older sister, Caroline, also had choice words for her little sister. Caroline loved tumbling and gymnastics, but a serious injury knocked her out of competitions for the rest of her career. Jealousy fueled her when Vanessa began to shine and when their parents moved them for Vanessa’s gymnast career.

To make matters worse, Vanessa was struggling. In part of her routine, she was having a particularly hard time with part of her maneuver. There was a sequence of extremely advanced moves that Caroline or the other students had never managed to reach, and Vanessa felt the constant rath from her sister and her peers. No matter how she stretched or twisted, her body refused to move the way she wanted it to, and it usually left her flat on her face.

“Enough for now,” said Dimitri as he pointed to the stretch mat by the cage. “Go stretch it out and I’ll be with you in a moment. I have to work with the other students.”

Vanessa tried to hide her disappointment in herself as she stepped to the side. The glances from the others felt like daggers in her back. If ever there was a demise by a thousand cuts, this was it.

She sat down on the ground and began stretching as her body started to tremble. Her eyes began to burn. Nothing felt right. Did she even want to do this anymore? Was she really ready to try out for the bigger teams? What if she got hurt? Everything would be for nothing.

That’s when she heard it.

“Two quick breaths.”

Vanessa thought she’d imagined it, but then she heard it again.

“Come on. Chin up. Two quick breaths.”

Vanessa twisted herself around and looked up and spotted Norden’s face peering down at her through the bars. He was leaned over casually, and his hands were through the bars, neck craned to get a better look at her.

This was the first time he had said anything remotely constructive to her, and she instinctually followed the command.

One breath.

Two breaths.

“Good. Now. Focus,” said Norden. “Imagine the movements. Think about how your body is going to move through them. Align them in your mind. Play them over and over in slow motion. Trust your body to move.”

Stunned didn’t come close to describing her emotional state, but Vanessa suddenly found herself turned to face the pet as he stared down at her and continued to provide instruction. It was all one sided. It was more of a pep talk than instructions but focusing on the pet’s words made Vanessa feel worlds better.

“Think you’ve got it?” asked Norden.

Vanessa nodded. “I… think so.”

“Good. Now, go do it,” stated Norden as he gestured back to the mats.

Vanessa’s heart was racing as she pushed herself up and walked back onto the mats. The others had something to say about her returning before she was called, but Dimitri’s expression was that of someone who was intrigued. He allowed her to perform the maneuver again with the accompanying warning.

“But just once more.”

Vanessa nodded and stood at the edge of the mat.

The pet’s words played over in her head.

Two quick breaths. Focus. Imagine the movements. Trust your body to move.

She took off running and felt something inside her shift. The overthinking that plagued her had vanished. Every move was already planned out, and now she was just executing it. She twisted and spun through the air, sticking the landing and managing every maneuver perfectly.

Everyone’s jaws were on the floor, even Dimitri’s, but Vanessa was simply beaming as she looked over at the cage and saw the subtle salute from the pet. Practice continued as scheduled. The others continued to shoot snide comments at Vanessa, but she didn’t care. Her eyes were fixed onto the cage where the pet currently was stretching.

While the parents had their meetings and the others scurried over to their corner to smack talk behind her back, Vanessa rushed over to the edge of the cage and peered in at Norden.

“Hey,” she said softly, gaining the pet’s attention as he was currently meditating. He sighed and leaned back on his hands while his legs were crossed.

“Yes? Do you require something?”

“No. Just… thank you. You really helped me, Norden. So, thank you,” smiled Vanessa. She pressed her finger against the bars of the cage and continued to smile even as Norden scoffed lightly and went back to his meditating.

Vanessa returned every day before, during, and after practice to talk to Norden from then on. While the pet rarely engaged in conversation, Vanessa finally figured out how she could make him say more than three or four words.

She would ask him what she was doing wrong.

Evidently, Norden had a keen eye and had been watching Vanessa during her routines. He knew the terminology and began instructing Vanessa on how to better tighten or loosen some of her maneuvers to make everything flow easily. The instruction she received from Norden, a pet, allowed her to improve dramatically with every meeting she had with him.

Then, a month after they began their “conversations,” Norden accidentally let it slip that he had felt a bit sorry for her. He evidently had been listening to all of the criticisms the others were giving their newest teammate, and he took offence to it. He especially found it appalling that her sister would take out her personal frustrations on her. Through Vanessa, he was able to enact an odd sense of justice and vengeance on the kids who so frequently tormented him.

“So, you heard all of that, huh?” asked Vanessa. Norden sighed and nodded.

“Much like yourself, so many forget we ‘pets’ can hear and form opinions of our own. These children have no business picking on you when they look like seals being tossed around by an orca. You, on the other hand, have potential. You have heart and spirit, and they all know it. It’s why you’re the focal point of their torment,” explained Norden.

“So… that means we’re kind of in the same boat,” proposed Vanessa. Norden scoffed and shook his head.

“Hardly. You, unlike me, are human. I am a pet, obviously. You have the opportunity to avoid and conquer your adversaries. As a pet, I’m stuck here in this cage completely and utterly alone. I have to forge my own path with no one to assist me,” grumbled Norden. Vanessa grinned seeing this “grumpy old man act.”

Then, it hit her.

“Well, I don’t see you as a pet,” said Vanessa. Norden shook his head again in defeat.

“Not possible. My size alone is something that can’t be ignored or negated,” he stated.

“No, I mean… I’d rather see you as a friend than as a pet.”

These words struck a chord in Norden and, just for a moment, his features softened as he looked at Vanessa.

“Friend?”

“Yeah, someone to talk to and someone to help you when you need it,” said Vanessa. The pet sighed, but his shoulders slumped. He was obviously amused in his defeat.

“That is very thoughtful of you, darling, but I don’t think pets and humans can be friends. It’s in our nature to act in opposition despite our conditioning.”

Norden’s opinion hurt but was put to the test only a week later when Dimitri announced he was moving. Evidently, he had some family issues at home and needed to return as soon as possible. With that being said, he could not take Norden back with him.

Despite the pet being the “community pet,” Norden technically belonged to Dimitri at the end of the day.

Vanessa saw her chance.

She knew she had to act fast.

Before practice could start, Vanessa ran up to Dimitri and pulled him to the side.

“Um… Dimitri? I… um… I wanted to ask you something before you left. Do… you think I could come by and visit you and Norden?” Vanessa wasn’t sure how her instructor would respond, but the guilt pang in his eye told her something was up.

“Alas, no. I would like to visit and make sure to stay up to date with your training, but you won’t be able to visit Norden. He’s not coming with me,” Dimitri replied.

“You’re not… taking him with you?” asked Vanessa. Her heart fluttered and flipped at this news. She was stunned that Dimitri could just leave Norden behind. Was he even going to miss his pet? Did Dimitri even care about Norden? What did Norden want?

“No. Sadly, where I’m going I can’t take him with me,” sighed Dimitri as he gave the cage a passive glance. Vanessa didn’t pick up an abundance of sympathy from her instructor, but she didn’t address it. She had an idea.

“So, what are you going to do with Norden then?” asked Vanessa. Dimitri glanced at the cage and then back to the little girl he had been training for just over a year now.

“Well, I had planned on giving him to a nearby pet shelter. I can’t take him with me, and the facility here only let me keep him because I worked here,” Dimitri replied. The instructor was no fool. He had been watching Vanessa interact with Norden for quite some time now and decided to beat the little girl to the punch. It was the least he could do.

“But, I was going to ask if you wanted to take him before bringing him to the shelter. He’s a bit of a handful, no pun intended. Would you like that?”

“Yes!” Vanessa’s excitement exploded out of her already racing heart as she jumped up and down and cheered. “Thank you! Thank you thank you thank you thank you!” As she hugged her instructor, she could see Norden’s smile as he listened in to the entire conversation.

Explaining to her parents about Norden was another issue altogether, but her family ultimately yielded. The one who was the most upset about it was her older sister, Caroline, who had been asking for a kitten for her birthday. It irked Vanessa that her little sister got a pet before her, and it only compounded once Norden was settled into his new home.

“I know it’s not going to be the same,” said Vanessa as she placed the cage in the shady part of her window as he requested. “But I didn’t want you to be sent away. I’m sorry. I should’ve asked.”

Norden shook his head and smiled as he evaluated the little girl’s room.

“Hardly. I wasn’t looking forward to the shelter either. I… should thank you,” he stated.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s what friends are for. My home is your home,” she smiled. The words took the pet off guard again, but this time he made no snide remarks about how friendship between pets and humans couldn’t exist.

Instead, he stepped to the edge of the cage and continued to evaluate the room.

The little Vanessa beamed and glanced at the cage door. It hadn’t opened since she had known Norden, and finally she had access to opening the gate. The real question was whether or not she had permission.

“Um… do… do you want out? You know, to explore and stuff?” asked Vanessa. Norden’s entire posture went rigid as he whipped around, expression shifting to disbelief.

“Really?”

“Mh-hmm.” Vanessa carefully reached over and unfastened the door, tugging the creaking metal free. To the pet’s surprise, Vanessa actually stepped back away from the edge of the cage and the table he was on top of. She didn’t reach in. She didn’t try to grab him. She made no gesture to even stroke his head as so many others had done in the past. “It’s okay. I’ll stay over here if that makes you feel more comfortable.”

Norden carefully stepped over to the door and, in one quick motion, leapt over the edge and was on the table. His awe at being set free, even temporarily, still seemed hesitant, as if he was bracing himself to be grabbed or pinched by Vanessa. When neither of those things happened, he took to walking around the desk and even climbing part of the cage to see what was further down on the ground.

He eventually returned to his cage, but he was overjoyed when Vanessa said she could leave the cage door open for him so he could get out and stretch his legs and everything.

“You… would really do that?” asked Norden. Vanessa nodded. “Even with the threat I might run away?”

This notion confused Vanessa, but even her youthful mind came up with a satisfactory response.

“Well, I mean you could if you wanted to. I don’t think you know anyone else nearby, so if you wanted to leave you should tell me so I can get you some supplies and stuff. I… wish you’d stay, but I won’t keep you here if you don’t want to me. A friend wouldn’t do that.”

Those words rang true to Norden and, after a beat, it was decided. Though he was resigned he couldn’t change being a pet, he decided that being Vanessa’s pet wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

From then on, the two of them were practically inseparable. Vanessa initially would leave Norden to his own affairs in the morning and afternoon before returning home later after evening practice to do her homework with Norden by her side. Vanessa would talk about how her day went and the different routines she did during practice, but describing it wasn’t enough.

It took only two weeks for Norden to actually suggest that Vanessa bring him with her to school and, subsequently, practice where he could actually assist right then and there.

“I’m doing this for your benefit, Vanessa,” said Norden. “If you don’t require my help or have no need of it, I’m alright with this. Your career is what I’m considering in this offer.”

Vanessa couldn’t contain her unbounding joy as she accepted his offer. She wanted to bring Norden along to class and to practice from the beginning simply because she enjoyed his company so very much, but she didn’t want to pressure Norden into coming with her; especially after some of the stories he told her about what he had experiences as a pet throughout his life.

So, their adventures began.

Every morning, Norden would successfully stow away in Vanessa’s bag in a secure spot that was hidden. It kept him safe and still let him move around freely. She would move off to the side during lunch so she could talk to him before helping him hide once again.

From there, the two of them would go to practice. Everyone knew Norden had been gifted to her, but the instructors were always sure to keep Norden away from the other students while Vanessa was away. He had a place on one of the shelves which had a great overview of the mats and, therefore, Vanessa and her routines.

There were a few times where there were some close calls. Some of the students tried getting Norden down by luring him down from the shelf and even making a grab for him, but the instructors quickly discouraged that behavior and shooed them away. They advised that Vanessa shouldn’t bring Norden along because he was “distracting,” but Vanessa quickly made the argument that Norden helped her focus on her routine and that she needed him.

A note from a doctor and a chat with her parents later meant Norden was protected as an “emotional support pet.”

“I really disapprove of being labeled as an ‘emotional support pet,’ but there is nothing more satisfying than sticking it to those handsy hormonal teenagers,” grinned Norden one evening after practice while Vanessa was stretching. “Don’t forget to breathe deeply as your stretch. Fill your lungs and hold for a moment before releasing.”

“I’m just glad you’re here with me, Norden. I couldn’t do any of this without you and your help,” said Vanessa as she followed the small man’s instructions. She let herself bend and twist as he instructed, tension and parts of her body relaxing as she did so.

“Hardly,” he scoffed as he folded his arms across his chest. “Don’t get it in your head that your abilities are dependent on me. Get it in your head that you need me as some kind of good luck charm, and you’ll have a crutch for the rest of your life.”

“Can do, sir; but I don’t think having you as a crutch would be such a bad thing,” replied Vanessa. The moment she called him “sir” made Norden straighten up ever so slightly. There was a beam of pride and embarrassment in his cheeks only for a moment before he snapped back to his usual stoic self.

This routine continued for years. The stoic nature eventually was chipped away to reveal a thoughtful, caring soul in Norden. The routines increased in difficulty. Tryouts came and went. Competitions consumed every waking moment when Vanessa wasn’t at practice.

At every turn, she made sure Norden was there with her. He never missed a practice and was always there during competition day. His sage advice broke through to her at every turn. The trust she had in him and the trust he had in her was hard fought and well won. Their bond was unbreakable, and everyone knew it.

Then, the day came.

National championship qualifications for the Olympic team.

Vanessa was an absolute mess of emotions and nerves. Jittery didn’t come close to describing her state of being. Every time she tried envisioning her routine, something blocked her mentally. Every stretch formed some kind of imaginary cramp in her arm or her leg.

What made it worse was that Norden was not permitted to go with her.

“Don’t worry, child,” comforted the small man as he reached over and rubbed her shoulder that he was sitting on while she buried her face into her pillows.

“How can I not worry?” said Vanessa through a mouth full of pillow, muffling her voice.

“Darling, you know I can’t hear you when you speak through layers of cloth and feathers and foam,” pointed out Norden. He jostled a bit as Vanessa turned her head to barely glimpse him out of the corner of her eye, but continued her pity party.

“Tomorrow is going to be one of the most important moments in my career and I haven’t been able to do the routine once in forever. What if I mess up? What if I break something? What if all of the other girls are better an-”

“And are better than you? Impossible,” countered Norden as he interrupted her mental spiral. The teen glanced over and caught his eyes. There was something there that felt so present and reassuring that Vanessa felt the worries melting away and salty tears sting her eyes.

“But… what if… I don’t want to do this forever? Gymnastics used to be fun all the time, and now it’s all stress and competitions,” grumbled Vanessa. The nearby clock chirped, signaling the start of a new day as midnight hit. The two of them sat there in silence for a time before the pet spoke up.

“So, what would you do with your time otherwise?” asked Norden.

“I… well… I don’t know. Never mind.”

“No, really. I want to know,” insisted Norden. Something in his voice tugged at Vanessa’s heart. It sent a pang of guilt through her and, for one reason or another, it plucked the answer from her mind and formed itself into words.

“I… I want to be a chef. I want to cook. I think it would be so much fun to open up my own café and have treats and snacks, healthy and not, and do gymnastics coaching part time. I… I don’t know… it just feels like all the fun has been zapped out of it and I’ve really been enjoying putting myself to the test with my different recipes for diets and nutrition and stuff,” mumbled Vanessa. The words spilled out of her like a whisper, each element spoken in a hushed tone like some precious secret.

It made her feel terrible. As much as she wanted this dream of hers to come true, she felt miserable at the same time. She knew that deviating from her path in gymnastics was basically a slap in the face to everyone who had ever helped her.

Her parents who moved them just so Vanessa could have better training.

Her sister who resented her for surpassing her skills.

Her colleagues and fellow students who couldn’t pull off half of the moves she could on a good day.

Dimitri for all of the time he spent coaching her after hours and before school.

Most importantly, Vanessa felt like she was betraying Norden. He had spent countless hours helping her with her routines. He coached her through micro movements and was there when she needed to talk or rant or just be comforted.

Norden was the one she was the most afraid of disappointing and saying all of this out loud hurt her; especially on the eve of a massive competition that would determine whether or not she made it to the Olympic team.

Then, something happened.

Norden scoffed and, to Vanessa’s surprise, leaned over and rubbed her shoulder again.

“Why do you sound so worried, Vanessa?” asked Norden. “Do you think I’ll be upset with you that you want to pursue your dreams? Do you think your family won’t support you?”

Vanessa buried her face into the pillows again, nodding and sniffling pitifully into her pillow. She received another sigh from the small man on her shoulder as he leaned over and tugged at a few strands of her hair to get her attention.

“Darling, I’m going to let you in on a little secret.” The words captured Vanessa’s curiosity, so she glanced over her shoulder to her companion and friend. The awkward crane in her neck prompted Norden to slide off of her shoulder and walk over toward her face so she could better see him.

“Are you listening?” he asked, to which Vanessa nodded. “Good. Remember this. Life is for living. If you are unhappy, then make yourself happy. Why would you endure something you don’t enjoy if you have the option to do something else that you will be successful in?

“You’re human. You’re a fierce, determined young woman and you can do anything you set your mind to, within reason of course. If everyone cares about you the way they profess to, they will support you. They might be upset for the moment, but they’ll see you flying and know your decision was the right one.

“Understand?” stated Norden.

She was absolutely speechless. Vanessa looked into Norden’s eyes and felt the tension tumble off of her shoulders. Relief spread through her body like the warmth of a fire on a cold day, radiating from her heart and spreading through her tingling fingertips.

Suddenly, the jitters were seemingly banished from her body. With adoration in her eyes, she looked back at her friend and sighed. “How do you always know exactly what to say?”

“Who are you talking to?” Vanessa nearly jumped to her feet as her older sister, Caroline, came into her room unannounced. “Ugg… gross… Vanessa, you need to put your pet back in his cage and get some sleep. You have a big day tomorrow and you’d better not mess it up.”

“Or else what? Perhaps if your sister’s well-being is your priority, then perhaps you should reconsider your words.” Vanessa glanced over to see Norden standing as tall as he could glaring at Caroline.

“Excuse me? What did you say you little punk?” spat Caroline.

“I said you should be more considerate of your sister,” stated Norden bluntly. “She’s about to participate in an intense competition determining her gymnastic career, she’s got a lot on her mind, and you coming in here berating her because you are jealous does not make for a flattering image. Now, apologize or leave her be. We’re in the middle of a discussion.”

Caroline seethed and glared at Norden. She even advanced a step forward and hovered over Vanessa and Norden. She looked rather menacing with the light shining behind her and forming a strong silhouette.

“How dare you! You’re nothing but a pet, and a lousy one at that. And if I’m a distraction, then so are you. So, why don’t you crawl back into your cage like a good little pet and…”

“Caroline,” interjected Vanessa as she carefully pushed herself up from her bed to not disturb Norden. “I’m… I mean… I am a bit tired. Thanks for your concern, but I…”

“My concern? You’re pathetic. That thing has more words than you do. Just get some sleep and get a muzzle for that pet of yours.” Caroline huffed and spun on her heel to get out of the room as fast as possible but made a point to slam the door as she left.

The eldest of the two took the tension with her and stomped down the hall to her room, leaving Norden and Vanessa alone once again. Vanessa could have smothered Norden in a hug she was so happy, but she refrained and simply tapped the bed beside him and nudged his leg with her index finger. He turned and smirked ever so slightly, giving him a sassy and mischievous air about him.

“Well, hopefully that put her in her place,” stated Norden. “At least for now. You don’t need unnecessary drama the night before your competition. Now, back to our conversation.

“Vanessa, you need to do what makes you happy. Don’t do it for anyone other than yourself. If you want tomorrow to be your last day competing, then so be it. It means very little, but you have my support for what it’s worth. I wish I could be there to see it, but I know I won’t need to. You will be flawless.”

Vanessa felt her throat tighten. The salty tears began stinging her eyes once again. It was all she wanted to hear.

“Thanks, Norden,” she said once she had a moment to clear her throat. Her emotions subsided, but the desire to dote on her dear friend swelled. Courage built up in her. She swallowed dryly, knowing this would be the first time she would ask Norden if she could do something like this.

She took a breath and decided to take the risk. “Um… Norden?”

“Hmm?” acknowledged the small man. He looked like he was about to retreat to the small shelf Vanessa had right by her bed where he had an entire room set up complete with a small cabin like structure, bed, and lights.

“Could… I give you a hug?” she asked quietly. Her cheeks felt hot from embarrassment. She wanted to retract the statement almost as soon as she said it, but felt her eyes widen and her jaw slacken when he responded.

“Of course,” he said thoughtfully. “Gently, mind you, but I have no qualms with it.”

It made Vanessa’s insides flip nervously, but over the moon at the same time. Vanessa’s hands trembled as she rested her hand palm up on the mattress. She sat up to better keep her balance, and Norden waited patiently for Vanessa to situate herself before stepping confidently onto her hand.

Vanessa had helped Norden around the room by carrying him before, but it was so different because she had never done this before since she and Norden had become friends. It was a trust hard earned, but now was completely unshakable.

She lifted her hand with the small man on it and pressed the edge of her hand to her chest, reaching up and resting her free palm against his back as he stepped forward and reached out his arms as wide as he could. His fingers grasped the fabric by her collar. His body relaxed at Vanessa’s touch.

Neither knew how long they were there, but when Vanessa began to pull her hand away to set Norden back down onto the ground, he gestured for her to bring her face closer. When she did, he unexpectedly did something that made Vanessa’s heart flip.

He kissed her forehead.

It was a tender gesture from a mentor to a student. It held nothing romantic. It held nothing manipulative or malicious.

It was kind.

It was paternal.

It was reassuring.

It was Norden simply being himself and aiding a friend – his only friend.

The two of them drifted off to sleep with ease and, when morning came, Norden did it again, wishing his friend all the luck in the world for the competition to come.

The entire time, Vanessa was a bundle of nerves. From the car ride to warm-ups, Vanessa could hardly sit still. Caroline was going to meet them later since she had an appointment in the morning hours before the competition. Vanessa didn’t mind. She would rather not have her sister there berating her.

It was time. Every moment had been leading up to this, and now she was finally here. Now was her time to shine. Now was her time to go out on the highest note she could.

Because whether or not she made it to the Olympics, Vanessa made her decision to follow her own dreams and passions.

So, as she stood there on the mat ready for her routine, she felt a calm sensation embrace her body. It reminded her of the subtle touch Norden gave her just the night before.

Two quick breaths. Focus. Imagine the movements. Trust your body to move.

And she did.

Vanessa flew through the air and stuck every landing. Every twist of her body was just as she had imagined it. Every flip and turn was precise and flawless.

It was just as Norden had told her.

She wished more than anything he was there to see her as she landed perfectly in front of the judges, but she knew he had already seen her go through each and every motion.

Her parents were beside themselves when she was offered a spot on the team right then and there. Caroline had a smug expression on her face, but Vanessa managed to shrug off the look.

They decided to celebrate and all of them rushed home so Vanessa could change and choose where she wanted to have dinner that night. The cars pulled into the driveway and Vanessa was practically sprinting out of the car before it even stopped to rush inside and tell Norden everything.

“Norden! Norden!” she called as she took the stairs two at a time and burst into her room looking around wildly for her friend. “I did it! It was just like you said. It was fl…”

Vanessa glanced around and saw there was no cage in the corner of her room.

There was no house on the shelf.

There was no sign Norden had ever been there.

Confusion swirled in Vanessa’s mind as she began looking under the bed and other odd places where Norden would never be. The whole time, she was calling out to him.

Nothing.

Then, there was a creak of the door behind her. Vanessa whipped around and saw her sister standing there, looming over her with a smug look on her face. Immediately, Vanessa felt her heart drop into her shoes as she stared at her sister.

“What did you do with him?” asked Vanessa as her insides twisted with unease.

“Well, since you made the team you won’t have hardly any free time left,” stated Caroline. “It isn’t fair to keep around something that you don’t have time for. You’ll need to focus on practice an-”

“Where is he!” roared Vanessa as she leapt to her feet and shoved her sister. Caroline stumbled backward and slammed against the opposite wall. Her eyes were wide with surprise at the rage from her younger sister. Then, that bitter smile tugged back onto her face.

“Gone at this point,” she said. “Vet offices are pretty quick about these things, especially with feral pets.”

Vanessa felt her heart crushing in her chest. A punch in the gut would have been kinder.

She too Norden to a vet office? Gone? Gone! She had him euthanized?!

Vanessa, with a shriek of anguish and fury, galled up her fists and punched Caroline in the nose as hard as she could before flying down the stairs.

Maybe there’s time.

Maybe I can get there before it happens! It can’t have happened yet!

Vanessa stumbled down the last few steps and grabbed her dad, shaking him.

“Dad! We have to go to the vet office. Caroline… Caroline took Norden! She took him there to be euthanized. We have t-.” Vanessa was a blubbering mess, but the look on her parents’ face told her everything.

They were in on it.

Their faces were softened with disappointment and sadness as they tried to bring her in to console her, but Vanessa wouldn’t hear of it.

Without thinking and certainly against the law, she charged out of the house and snagged her sister’s keys off of the kitchen counter. It took a fraction of a moment too late for her parents to realize what Vanessa was doing and when they made it outside to stop her, Vanessa was already driving away.

Vanessa had been studying for her learner’s permit and had been behind the wheel of a car many times to practice parallel parking and basic driving, but it was still against the law for her to drive.

She didn’t care though.

She had a mission to accomplish.

Tears spilled over her cheeks and her whole body was shaking violently. She couldn’t believe what had just happened and that her parents could be so cruel. Her sister, maybe; but them too?

Left turn. Two rights. Red light. Green light.

Vanessa sped as fast as she could and didn’t even bother to turn off the engine as she pulled into the vet’s office. Her body couldn’t move fast enough. Her heart was pounding harder and faster with each passing second.

The door clattered loudly as it slammed against a nearby chair. The vet tech at the front yelped as she looked up wildly at Vanessa.

“Ma’am, is there som-”

“My friend was brought in earlier and is scheduled to be euthanized. Please! Please! Tell me he’s okay. His name is Norden. He’s a little older. He’s about five inches tall. He’s got these piercing b…”

The look on the tech’s face went from startled to concern and then to sympathetic.

The world stopped.

Vanessa felt bile building in the back of her throat. She swallowed dryly as she saw the mortification on the tech’s face.

“I… I’m sorry. They… just took him back… The girl who came in said he was vicious and violent, biting and everything. That’s… that’s against training and protocol so…”

“What room!” shrieked Vanessa. Her legs gave out as she stumbled forward, leaning heavily on the desk.

“Room six. It’s right there.”

Vanessa ran over and threw the door open without a second thought.

As she did, she caught a glimpse of the vet removing a needle from Norden’s arm.

It was already too late.

“No!” Vanessa sobbed as she stumbled over and fell to her knees in front of the table. Her hands were shaking so violently that she couldn’t even bend her fingers. Norden’s little body had been strapped down and his chest was heaving, but his jaw and eyes were set forward; at least until he saw Vanessa.

Through her salty tears, Vanessa could see his lower lip trembling, but he still managed a smile as he looked into her eyes. There was a single tear dripping down his cheek as he looked into her eyes.

Already, his lids were getting heavy.

“Um… sweetie, you can’t be in here,” the vet started to say as the tech rushed in and began explaining the situation. The vet looked absolutely horrified as he glanced from Vanessa to the pet on the table.

“No! No no no no no no… please… you have to fix him. Please,” begged Vanessa. “I’ll do anything, just please… make it stop…”

“I… I can’t. I… I’m sorry. We were told…”

The tech quieted the vet and the two of them exchanged sympathetic glances before ushering themselves out of the room.

“Vanessa? It… it’s okay,” breathed Norden, who sounded like he was already struggling for each breath. His lids lulled again.

“No! No! No!” Vanessa sobbed. She ripped the restraints off of her friend and cradled him in her hand, keeping everything propped up so she could see him. “Please… Norden.”

Norden’s eyes lulled again. His entire body shivered as he bit back a groan of pain. The serum was obviously working quickly on him.

“Did… you…”

Vanessa choked on some mixture of a sob and a laugh. Even now, he wanted to know how her competition went.

“Yes. You were right. It was flawless.” Vanessa couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. Every breath shook her entire body.

“Shhh… it’s okay.”

“It’s not! It’s not okay. This isn’t fair!” Vanessa shuddered and pulled Norden closer. “I love you. We were supposed to have so many adventures. We were supposed to open a café together. I have a name and everything for us!”

“Oh? W-what… is… it?” breathed Norden. His breath was labored. He bit back another groan of pain as his body twitched. Norden was fighting, but it wasn’t going to be long now.

“Norden’s Nips.”

He chuckled and smirked in his classic way.

“I love it.”

The pain was too much. Vanessa felt like her heart was turning inside out. Her lungs felt hollow as did the rest of her body. She wanted to melt into a puddle. Anything would be easier than this.

Anything would be better than good-bye.

“Vanessa… Nessie… Listen to me…” said Norden. His breath came in little panicked whisps. Vanessa looked into his eyes and saw his pupils were starting to dilate.

“I’m here… I’m listening. Norden, please! Don’t go…”

“Please… for me… live. Live for me. Live the way you want. Be happy. Don’t take moments for granted. I… I’m so… happy… to have… known you….”

He winced as, with his hand, he tried to raise his hand in his signature salute. Vanessa choked on another sob as she reached over and helped him raise his arm. A smile of gratitude crossed his face as, with her help, he completed the motion.

He gestured once again for her to come closer and his kissed her once more on her forehead.

She barely caught the words escaping his lips as she pulled him away.

“I love you, Nessie.”

The light in his eyes faded. His pupils dilated. There was a momentary shudder as he smiled and closed his eyes for the last time.

Vanessa collapsed into sobs and slunk to the floor clutching Norden to her chest. She wasn’t sure how long she was there, but she didn’t care. Despair consumed her and it wasn’t until both the police and her family arrived that Vanessa registered anything other than the weight of Norden’s lifeless body in her hands.

Right then and there, she cursed her family.

She denounced them and swore she would never speak to them again. Vanessa declared she would never do gymnastics again and that her passions were elsewhere.

The following days of chaos turned to havoc and loathing for months and years until the day Vanessa turned eighteen and moved out, never to contact her family again.

~~~^*^*^~~~

“Sweetie! I am so so so so sorry. You never said anything about this. So… that’s how you started your business? Or, rather, why?” asked Jody. Vanessa nodded numbly as she looked at her friend.

“Yeah,” she mumbled.

“So, Norden’s Nips was for your pe-… er… friend?”

“Yep.” Vanessa wiped away the tears from her eyes and stared at her friend. “And it’s not something I share. I’ve told maybe one other person about this, and they laughed that I would name a business after a pet. We don’t talk anymore.”

“Yeah, but if I had known I wouldn’t have… oh gosh… I… Ohh…. I’m so mad right now. I’m going to message your sister and give her a piece of my mind!”

Vanessa didn’t have time to stop Jody as she stormed out with her phone. Vanessa knew there was no stopping her friend and, instead, she stayed huddled under her blankets and stared at her now cold drink on the table.

Then, she heard something.

In a sniffly voice, she heard the female pet from the cage say, “I… I’m sorry… but… please… please don’t take me back. I… know I’m not going to be like your friend… but…”

Vanessa sighed and pushed herself up off of the couch and walked over to the cage, kneeling in front of the door to better look at the pet. She was beautiful and obviously had an empathetic soul based on the tears dripping down her own face.

“No, I’m sorry. I… It’s been a while since I’ve faced those feelings. I… well… you don’t have to be scared. Not of me,” said Vanessa.

Immediately, the pet looked up and started breathing quickly, nerves obviously getting the better of her.

“Please, I’ll be the best pet I can. Just…”

“I don’t want a pet,” stated Vanessa. “But I wouldn’t mind a new friend. How about it?”

The look on her face said it all. Things were going to be different around here from now on, but Vanessa didn’t mind. Change was good. And sometimes, someone is worth the heartbreak.

Norden was one of those people.

As was Jody and some of her other friends.

This new friend would certainly make that list as well.

~~~~~^*^*^*^*^~~~~~

Thank you. Apologies…

Cheers and, as always, stay awesome!

~Narrans

@gtzel