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winterwhisperz-blog · 1 year

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hi there! can i ask for headcanons of the touchstarved lis reacting to a mc serenading or singing a love song to them? thought it’d be cute!

EEEEE Omg yes tysm for the ask!! This was such a fun prompt to write 😭

I ended up uhh, accidentally making these more like one-shots rather than just headcanons—so I’ll have to split these up into parts. The first batch is Ais and Leander so I hope you enjoy them !!

Warnings: None really, characters just might be a accidentally a bit ooc.

Notes: Gender-neutral MC, fluff.

Alright les get into it !!

How The LI Would React Fo An Mc Who serenades them/sings them a love song

Ais

Okay okay okay okay- so, this is my first vision.

Bear with me as I attempt to articulate this.

You and Ais have just left a night at the tavern, where the conversation of love novels and plays was brought up. The chilly air of twilight is fading into a grey, murky morning. You both are a bit wasted, (if you don’t drink, then blame this on literally getting no sleep.) and as the earlier conversation resurfaces in your mind, you make a comment about how you’d do all those dramatic theatrics far better than those characters in the books.

And since this is with Ais, who imo probably takes anything as a challenge, smirks at this comment, his red eyes piercing the hazy fog of dawn.

“Oh yeah? Are you going to sing for me, Sparrow?”

Chuckling, you give a lazy shrug. “Sparrows are song birds, right?”

He quirks a brow, grin widening as he evidently waits for your promised performance. But your head is pounding with exhaustion, and when you open your mouth to sing, a loud, eye watering yawn is the only thing to come out.

You wobble on your feet, knocking lightly into Ais’ chest, somehow still warm even in the cold air. You feel his laugh before hearing it. “Hmm, maybe later. Let’s get you home first.”

And even though forgetting what happened after Ais guided you home and helped you to bed—you awoke, your mind ringing with your earlier promise. And since I’m guessing this MC is a theater kid, you aren’t going to rest until you fulfill your claim of being better than those sucky, frog croaking characters in those books.

So throwing on your clothes, you get the instrument of your choice, spend the rest of the day rehearsing, get some flowers and head over to Ais’ place when evening closes on the horizon.

Ais can only be explained as being utterly amused when seeing you dramatically throw open the doors and toss him the flowers. You see him about to make a comment, and put a finger on his lips, shushing him.

Your performance is obviously, extraordinary. The words slip from your lips with ease, a smile brightening your eyes when watching Ais’ adoring expressions.

ALRIGHT

that was my first vision— now for an Mc that’s a bit more timid, and less likely to do the previous performance—

I can see you kneeling on the floor of Ais’ place, Princess snuggled up on your lap as you sing a little tune you’ve been making up for the past few days.

Bandaged up fingers gently petting her head as she lets out a few soulless style purrs of contentment.

Ais overhears this, taking a few moments to take in the sight cause OMG THATS HIS FAVORITE PERSON SINGING TO HIS PET

But once you seem to be done, singing drifting to a low humming, the sound of his footsteps snap your eyes upward, where you see his usual smirk playing on his lips. “Didn’t know you could sing.”

A flash of embarrassment spreads across your chest—you aren’t used to people hearing you. You keep your eyes on Princess, clearing your throat and trying to respond but getting a bit tongue-tied. You end up muttering, “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

His lets out an amused breath, and settles down next to you. For a few quiet moments you both give Princess MUCH DESERVED attention, before Ais lets out a little whistle that perks her up, stretching before leaving your lap. Before you can even protest, Ais replaces her weight, plopping his head in the center of your lap. Eyes closed contently, a smile twitching as you let out an annoyed huff.

“My turn.” Is the only thing he says, leaving no room for arguments as he makes himself quite comfortable.

And even though you pretend to be annoyed, it’s honestly really cute. With a roll of your eyes, you start combing your fingers through his hair. “Why do I put up with you?”

“Mmm, because I introduced you to Princess.”

“Ah, there it is.”

With a fond laugh, you end up singing the same tune to Ais, warmth blooming in your chest as you watch as the tension melts from his shoulders.

AWWWWW

ALR

So there was Ais. NOW

UNTO LEANDER

Leander

We’ll start at the Wet Wick, it’s a night full of laughter, dancing, and chaos. It didn’t take the crowd much convincing to get out the instruments and break into drunken songs and shanties. The bartender frantically swipes cups and mugs off the counter as piles of boots stamp across the wood, stomping to the bustling rhythm.

Leander is talking with the Bartender, trying to calm them down as they gesture to the rowdy bunch messing up the tavern. Seeing his stress, you try to find a way to keep the energy, but douse it enough so the crowd doesn’t end up bringing down the roof.

You grab the nearest instrument, climb unto a table, and clear your throat. It’s been long enough that you’ve already gotten most of the Bloodhounds respect, so the mere sound gets the majority to quiet—the scattered noise snuffing out as they get harshly shushed.

All eyes on you, especially the toxic green of Leander’s, you feel your confidence flicker for a moment before you straighten your back and try out a few tunes on your instrument. Mustering up your best confident smile, you dramatically gesture to Leander, who looks curious, amused, and definitely a bit confused.

“I would like to dedicate this song to our dear Leander, and—“ You shoot a glance at the Bartender and wink. “And our lovely, ever so gracious, patient host.”

The crowd laughs, lifting up their drinks with encouraging smiles. The bartender massages their temples, though you spot a hint of a grateful smile before you dive into the corniest, sappiest love song known to man.

****

ALR

Now again, unto an mc who’s a bit more shy.

It’s been a long day, and it shows on the both of you. Though Leander’s eyes always look like he hasn’t once slept in his entire life, you can tell by how slow he moves that he’s more exhausted than usual. He leads you to your room, stopping at the door to unwrap your bandages, pressing a kiss to your knuckles.

You almost want to ask him to stay this time, in hopes you can get him to sleep. At least for a few minutes. But when you open your mouth, you feel the words die on your tongue. It ends like every other time, you say goodnight, he leaves—begrudgingly—and you go inside your room regretting not saying anything.

But this time, as you’re washing the dirt of the day off your face, you keep thinking about him, how tried he looked—nope, you gotta find a way to get that man to sleep.

Drying off your face, you slide your door open and start your search for Leander. The tavern is buzzing with the usual energy, but he’s not among the crowd. Carefully avoiding everyone, you slip behind the counter and into the back.

(I have like, no idea what the back looks like—but for the snippet, I’m guessing it’s some kinda kitchen.)

You see him, his large figure shadowed by the dim light. You can hear a faint humming as he sluggishly cleans off grime from one of the counters. Taking no notice of you yet, you inch closer, listening as the humming turns to quiet lyrics.

It’s a love song you know, sounding deeper, almost solemn in the tone of his voice. It’s calming, soothing, though it makes you feel a little sad.

You walk closer, closer—until you bend over his shoulder, chiming in with a more cheerful take on the song. He flinches, head whipping round—eyes widening in shock before softening at your face.

“Oh, Mc, I thought you went to bed.”

You shrug, “Can’t sleep.”

His brows furrow in concern, tired eyes looking over yours. Before he can say anything though, and before you can lose your confidence, you plunge for the first words to come to mind. “Not without you.”

His eyes widen again, blinking.

That…did not sound nearly as subtle as you had hoped.

Heat rushing to your cheeks, you plow on. “I—mean you just, look really tired. And I’ve never really seen you sleep before—not like I would’ve watched you or anything. But look, everyone needs to sleep at least a little. So I was wondering if you would be okay with coming to my room tonight. Does that sound weird? I didn’t mean for it to sound weird—“

Leander’s laugh helps ease your embarrassment a bit, and he reaches for your hands, eyes glinting with adoration. “Well if you’re the one inviting me, how can I say no?”

If you knew it would’ve been that easy, you would’ve asked a lot sooner.

When Leander settles next to you, you reach for him and guide his head to rest over your chest, fingers stringing through his hair as you try to soothe the tension still in tightening his shoulders. You don’t ignore how frozen he feels, or how his heartbeat never slows enough to ease into sleep.

You kiss the top of his head, softly singing the song from earlier. Hoping it will help.

The night stretches on, and though your efforts put him at ease, you fell asleep before he ever did. His eyes only flickering closed for a few precious moments before he jolts awake. Leaving in the morning before you can worry over him again.

TA DAAAAA!

I’m so sorry those turned out to be long 😭 next time I do headcanons I’ll make sure to make them actual headcanons— but yes! Thank you so much for the ask !! The next batch will feature the rest of the LI and I’ll try to make them shorter.

For now though, I hope you have a wonderful day, find a heart shaped cloud, play your favorite game and that your pillow is cold on both sides! 🫶

#touchstarved #touchstarved leander #touchstarved headcanons #touchstarved x reader #touchstarved game #writing #answered asks #thanks for the ask!#touchstarved ais #virtual novel

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being-of-rain · 5 months

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I wasn’t really a big fan of The Giggle by the time I finished watching it, and I liked it less the more that I thought about it. Which is a real shame, because I think it was full of a lot of great ideas that were squandered with poor execution. I didn’t really want to just post pages of negativity, so I’ll quickly skim through a list of things I think could’ve been done better, and maybe I’ll expand on some of them later or if I’m asked about them. Still, this is your warning for negativity.

The whole 'screens are evil and making everyone think they're right' felt so shallow and cheap, especially because it was set up as the main obstacle and then largely ignored. A lot of the characters at UNIT really didn't do much (I totally forgot about The Vlinx after my first watchthrough) but I think that didn't bother me much while watching because I was used to Chibnall regularly ignoring characters like that. It was nice to see Mel again, but she didn’t really serve much purpose.

RTD’s take on the Toymaker is quite similar to his take on the Master, which was sometimes fun and sometimes annoying (specifically the German accent, which lost its appeal pretty quickly for me). But he felt pretty hollow and full of wasted potential beyond that, feeling like he was there just to give the episode a villain. Although speaking of the Master, his brief inclusion was hilarious and an easy way to write him back into the show later, nicely done.

The last third of the episode had some many intriguing and potentially awesome ideas behind it. The new Doctor turning up partway through a story? Cool! The Doctor defeating his final villain alongside the next star of the show? Fun! The Doctor getting self-care and words of wisdom from his next self? So heartwarming! One Doctor retiring to be happy while his next incarnation travels off to continue the adventures? A fun use of the show's format!

But for me these ideas just didn’t work or didn’t fulfill their potential, and it’s mostly because there’s no narrative justification for them. No cause and effect. There’s no given reason for the Doctor to bigenerate, it just happens. There’s no particular reason that it was the Doctors rather than the Toymaker who won the game of catch to save the world, it just happens. Without any narrative reason the third act feels so unsatisfying, like spectacle for the sake of spectacle, and (I don’t say this lightly) incredibly lazily written.

That lack of story reason also undermines the ending, clearly the thing RTD was most interested in, by making it feel unearned. Like a first draft script that worked backwards to make it happen. The retirement ending itself I have mixed feelings about, which I’m not sure I can fully articulate. One thing I love to see is that RTD can actually do a genuinely happy ending rather than making every ending a tragedy. But said happy ending feels a little too ‘married-with-kids-and-a-white-picket-fence’ to me – though obviously I can’t stress enough how relieved I am that romance didn’t factor into it. It just felt like it wasn’t set up well enough. I’d probably like it a lot more if they made clear if Tennant’s Doctor was going to turn into Gatwa’s Doctor or if they’re just separate people now. It was sweet of RTD to try and bring a conclusion to the ‘Doctor is traumatised’ thing that he introduced to the show 18 years ago, but he did it poorly. At least it offers interesting new possibilities for the show going forward!

With all that said, in the end The Giggle felt to me like RTD retreading some of his biggest flaws as a writer, and throwing in a few borrowed from other showrunners for good measure. It was a disappointment both because of the good ideas just below the surface, and because it came after a very fun first episode and an incredible follow-up.

But like I said, I’m excited to see what the show does next! I saw talk that there’ll be lots of mythical and unnatural creatures turn up due to the Doctor’s salt thing, which is super cool. And obviously I’m excited for more Gatwa! I haven’t really felt a lot of reason to be excited about Ruby yet, but as always I’m ready to fall in love with the new companion quickly!

#my thoughts #dw spoilers #ten #donna #toymaker

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animebw · 11 months

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Seasonal Reflection: Spring 2023 Anime

Now that’s more fucking like it. I was feeling pretty down on anime after a disappointing winter season, but spring has come in like a freight train to remind us why this medium is so damn important (just in time for summer to let us down again because my god this new crop of shows is looking thiiiiiiiiiiin). Making the choice not to stick with shows I wasn’t enjoying just for the sake of completion was clearly the right call, because not only did that leave me with fewer bad shows sucking my my free time and motivation, it meant I was able to much more happily appreciate the bevy of excellent offerings that Spring 2023 had to offer. From an absolute top-tier run of rom-coms to a slew of entrancing fantasy series, I was never at a loss for things to enjoy. I’ve already shared by thoughts on Vinland Saga’s flawed but excellent second season (8/10) and the abysmal, overrated trash heap that was Oshi no Ko (3/10), as well as quick thoughts on all the series I ended up dropping. But if you want to know my thoughts on the other shows I watched to completion? Then read on, and see which spring offerings are worth checking out!

Uma Musume To the Top: 4/10

One of these days, I’ll be able to better articulate why this franchise leaves me so cold. What is it about Uma Musume that made fans go gaga for historical racehorses anthropomorphized as cute anime idol horsegirls that I’m not getting? Cause from where I’m sitting, the whole thing is just a bloated, overwrought exercise in hacky melodrama and shrink-wrapped moeblob pandering with the occasional actually pretty decent sports anime arc thrown in there. The whole thing just feels so cynical and calculating, from its lazily slapped-together premise that feels like three random popular anime genres shoved in a blender with no rhyme or reason to the obnoxious soap-opera histrionics that define its attempts at tugging your heartstrings. And while this 4-episode OVA certainly has the best, most exhilaration animation of the bunch- seriously- it is stunning how good the racing looks- it also makes the unforgivable mistake of having zero Gold Ship content. They got rid of the funniest character in the show and I will never forgive them for it.

Kubo Won’t Let Me Be Invisible: 4.5/10

I think 2023 is the year that something officially snapped in me. I have just entirely lost patience with middling rom-coms that exist for no other reason than to sell the fantasy of a perfect manic pixie dream girl who’ll love your totally bland forgettable self. I mean, not like I had much patience for them to begin with in the first place, but watching Kubo Won’t Let Me Be Invisible felt like staring the futility of mindless wish fulfillment itself in the face. Does it have some good jokes? Yeah. Is the animation pleasing enough? Sure. But between the embarrassingly forced whimsy in the soundtrack and the treacly sweet presentation that tarts up this bargain-bin Takagi-san like some sweeping, romantic ideal, the inherent emptiness at the heart of the fantasy it’s selling just becomes impossible to ignore. Boys, I beg you: get higher standards for yourself and the shows you watch. You will not cure your loneliness by losing yourself in the illusion of a perfectly sweet, doting girlfriend who’ll never ask you to outgrow the things you hate about yourself. You deserve better than settling for endless self-indulgence at the hands of an industry that doesn’t believe you’re capable of more than that. Or just, you know, at least only watch anime of this kind that actually are good, compelling stories in their own right with more to say than “Gee, wouldn’t it be great if Kana Hanazawa was the only person in the whole world who I mattered to?” There’s even one of those later in this list! You don’t have to settle for mediocrity! Seriously!

My Home Hero: 4.5/10

I feel bad for this show, because it’s one of those cases where it’s obvious you’re getting a vastly inferior version of the story. The concept of a cat-and-mouse thriller where the protagonists are just a normal family of everyday middle-class busybodies trying to outwit a yakuza conspiracy after killing one of their goons is a pretty unique one, and the writing goes a long way to sell out on the fact that these are just an ordinary middle-aged couple thrust into a hectic situation and doing their best with the limited skills at their disposal. Even if the writing can be overly convenient at times with how much they’re able to plan ahead, there’s some good stuff here. Unfortunately, it was adapted to anime by Tezuko Productions, one of the most bafflingly incompetent studios to still get reliable work. So the animation falls apart any time it has to depict anything more complex than characters talking and walking, the art direction is uniformly ugly and stilted, and the horrendously conceived score tries so hard to sound epic and edgy that it turns every potentially gut-wrenching moment into a laughingstock of poorly executed melodrama. If you’ve got any interest in this story at all, just go straight for the manga and forget this turd exists.

Yuri is My Job: 5.5/10

Something to know about me: I hate cringe. And if there’s one type of cringe I can’t stand above all others, it’s watching performers mess up on stage and ruin the show for the audience. As a former theater kid, nothing makes we want to curl up in a ball and die more than a stage play going off the rails and the actors being left lost and adrift while the audience stares and murmurs in worry. I say all this to tell you that I watched Yuri is My Job- a show that is primarily focused on watching actors almost fail in live performance over and over again in the messiest. most emotionally charged ways possible- and I almost managed to make myself like it. What can I say, I’m a sucker for subversive yuri deconstructions that explore the liminal space between ambiguous Class S-style stock yuri tropes and real feelings of lesbian love. Especially when they’re willing to let their characters be this messy and difficult. But man, there were times I had to watch this show with my hands over my eyes from sheer concentrated cringe. Do not let the yuri fool you into thinking this is just another soft and sweet gay girl romance, this shit gets rough. But as long as you have a stronger stomach than me for this kind of thing- and if you don’t ask too many questions about what these girls’ lives are like when they’re not play-acting for customers in a yuri schoolgirl cafe because we never fucking leave this location- you might find something really worthwhile here.

Otaku Elf: 5.5/10

Every season, there’s one anime that sneaks under the radar at first but slowly accrues more and more good will over time, establishing itself as an underappreciated gem for anyone smart enough to go looking for it. And this season, that show was Otaku Elf, an inconsistent but enjoyable blend of chill slice-of-life antics- centered on a young shrine maiden looking after the titular shut-in elf who serves as her temple’s local deity- and bite-sized history lessons about the life and culture of people in Japan’s Edo period. It’s got some surprisingly warm and nuanced character writing for its two leads, and their relationship as they push and pull from different perspectives on life leads to a handful of emotional moments I’d genuinely consider magical. Sadly, the further the show strays outside that central relationship, the less interesting it gets, with most of the side characters- the maiden’s perfectly angelic younger sister, other elves enshrined as deities as their caretakers- coming off as half-baked in comparison. It’s a bit of a crap shoot whether any given episode will pluck at your heartstrings or bore you to tears depending on what it chooses to focus on. But when it’s good, it’s really good, and it’s worth a look for anyone who enjoys historical trivia mixed in with their comfort viewing.

The Ancient Magus’ Bride Season 2: 6/10

In retrospect, I’m really glad I went back and re-evaluated my opinion on Magus Bride season 1 before this new entry came out. Not just because it helped me realize how much I’d underappreciated one of the most captivating fantasy anime of the modern era, but because it drives home that this second season’s sluggish pace is, in fact, an issue. Magus Bride has always been a very slow and ruminative series, trickling through moments like streams through a mud-clogged riverbed en route to its big character moments. But even by those generous standards, this has been sloooooooooooow going. Lots of table setting, lots of new characters with new conflicts, lots of buildup for multiple different plotlines that don’t always feel meaningfully connected and will require a damn good payoff to make this slow start worth it. Luckily we’ve got a second cours coming in the fall, so there’s still plenty of time to turn Chise’s experience at magic college into another worthwhile entry in this powerful series. Until then, I’ll hang tight to the things this series still does well- its primordial depiction of magic, a wonderful soundtrack, the complexities of Chise and Elias’ relationship, Chise’s continued journey toward understanding and cultivating her self-worth- in hopes the end result will be just as magical as what came before.

Birdie Wing Season 2: 6/10

Is there a point where a series who’s primary appeal is how brazenly over-the-top it goes starts to run out of steam? Believe it or not, being stupid and bonkers is an art unto itself, and it takes real talent to sustain. For every Akiba Maid War that constantly ups the ante until it blows its stack with an absolute barn-burner finale, there are countless Highschool of the Deads that slowly dribble away their incredible manic energy over time, leaving nothing behind but the same tired anime cliches as always. And as much as I enjoyed seeing the rollicking madness of Birdie Wing come to close, I can’t deny that I felt my interest starting to slip as this second and final season went on. It just doesn’t do enough to surpass the bar it set with the insane high-stakes golf mafia death matches in the first season. Which I acknowledge is a high bar to clear, but for all the hilariously overdramatic soap opera twists and sudden power-ups that dominate the matches in this season, it never quite manages to measure up to that wonderful madcap energy that made its first season such a lightning-bolt success. Or, I dunno, maybe they shouldn’t have split up the main goddamn couple for basically the entire season. Especially when the same studio was already doing another, much better handled lesbian separation arc over in G-Witch. Seriously, Sunrise, anything you want to get off your chest? I feel like you might have some issues.

Ranking of Kings: Treasure Chest of Courage: 7.5/10

It feels like we’re heading into a very bizarre trend in side story “season 2″s lately. First Ranking of Kings, Horimiya next season, and the Quintessential Quintuplets somewhere down the line, so many shows are spending entire seasons on side content going through stuff from the source material they either skipped over or rushed through. And I can’t help but worry that sets a bad precedent for anime adaptations; we seriously do not need to legitimize shows hacking their source material to pieces for the sake of modern broadcast standards any more than they already are. On the other hand, though... man, it’s hard to complain when the end result does such a great job living up to its source. The Treasure Chest of Courage is every bit as whimsical, emotional, and gorgeously animated as the first season of Ranking of Kings, all the same heart and imagination in bite-sized pieces exploring the finer details in ways that make you appreciate the base story even more. It even fixes a few of my big issues with the main show’s back half and sets things up for an apparent proper season 2 sometime in the future! We’ll see if Horimiya and Quints can keep up those high standards, but for now, this is an exceptional interquel that’s bound to make you fall in love with one of anime’s best modern fantasy yarns all over again.

The Dangers in My Heart: 7.5/10

If you started watching The Dangers in My Heart only to drop it after the very first scene, I can’t blame you. The prospect of putting up with a school-shooter level misanthropic loner of a protagonist gleefully fantasizing about brutalizing his crush was almost enough to make me nope out right away. But thank god I kept watching, because once you get past that horrifically unrepresentative opening scene, it quickly becomes clear that The Dangers in My Heart is actually a genuinely wonderful little rom-com that fully understands just how much edgelord middle school nonsense is just insecure kids trying to figure out their place in the world. So few rom-coms like this really get the precise blend of hormones, awkwardness, insecurity, and cringe that defines so many middle school foibles, let alone one that understands the interiority of its female characters well enough to make them feel more fleshed out than trophy wives. But this show nails that early adolescent hellscape without ever coming off exploitative of it (well, almost; there are some obnoxious fanservice moments that really didn’t need to exist, thankfully few and far between). And really, who else but the director of the similarly true-to-life Teasing Master Takagi-san could pull that off so well? Just make it through that opening scene and you’ll very quickly find yourself falling for these idiots just like I did.

My Love Story with Yamada-kun at Lv999: 8/10

God, it’s so fucking good to have shoujo rom-coms again. We went through such a drought period where the genre basically faded into nonexistence save for the Fruits Basket remake, but it feels like they’re finally coming back into fashion. And what better way to remind the world how marvelous the world of shoujo romance can be than another collaboration between the studio and director that graced us with the masterpiece My Love Story back in 2015... with another show called My Love Story? You couldn’t ask for a more surefire winning formula, and sure enough My Love Story with Yamada-kun at Lv999 is a delight from start to finish. It’s nominally about failgirl extraordinaire Akane meeting the socially awkward and emotionally distant hot boy Yamada through the RPG they play together, but the game stuff is actually a pretty small part of it. At heart, this show is about the messiness of young adulthood, and the ways people fumble through the highs and lows of coming of age as they develop into fully concrete people. And it captures that chaos with all the sharp, creative direction, thoughtful character writing, and feel-good romantic fireworks you should expect from this creative team. It’s a gut-busting, feel-good, achingly sincere gem of a show, and I recommend it to everyone in need of a little more whimsy in your life.

Skip and Loafer: 8.5/10

It’s absolutely insane to me that the Skip and Loafer manga is published in the same seinen magazine as Vinland Saga, because this is one of the most authentically shoujo teen coming-of-age delights we’ve had in a long time. Small-town girl Mitsumi moves to the big city to excel at a prestigious high school and make her dreams of rebuilding her hometown come true, only to have her perfect plans derailed by the chaos of growing up, from friends to crushes to high school curveballs. It’s so rare for a story to capture adolescence this authentically, the moments both big and small that define our paths toward maturity as we begin to figure out who we want to be. Watching Skip and Loafer made me reflect on my own high school experiences, good and bad alike, and be grateful for all the steps I took that brought me to where I am today. And any show that can get me so introspective about myself is a show worth celebrating. Plus it’s got the legendary Tomoyo Kurosawa in the leading role, and it’s got a prominent adult trans side character (Nao-chan is perfect and needs more screentime in season 2 or I riot), and the OP makes my cheeks hurt from smiling too hard... yeah, PA works has once again knocked it out of the park. Somebody stop them, they’re growing too powerful!

Heavenly Delusion: 8.5/10

To summarize Heavenly Delusion in a single sentence is, I’m afraid, impossible. I could say it’s a post-apocalyptic mystery thriller that feels like the love child of Shinsekai Yori and The Promised Neverland, but that doesn’t quite do it justice. I could say it’s a dizzying double-track story that does a better job than pretty much any other series as letting you pick up clues on your own, but that’s doesn’t tell you enough either. I could say it’s host to one of the most staggering, masterpiece anime productions ever put to television with no shortage of the greatest singular episodes and individual cuts I’ve ever seen, but even that falls short. I could even say it’s a deeply flawed, intensely problematic series that’s trying to unpack so many different ideas about gender and sexuality with no guardrails to keep it from hurtling off track, but even that leaves out so much. Ultimately, though, the only way I can describe Heavenly Delusion is that it is Heavenly Fucking Delusion, and it’s one of the single most mesmerizing anime I’ve ever had the pleasure to watch. It’s a tour-de-force capital-E Event the likes of which we so rarely get nowadays, and if you think you can stomach the dark places it goes in its exploration of humanity’s corrosion and reconstruction, then you absolutely owe it to yourself to give it a watch. Just be aware there’s a content warning for an incredibly upsetting scene of sexual assault near the end, and I mean that seriously. I like to think I’m pretty desensitized and even I felt kind of sick and unclean by the time that scene was over. Watch at your own discretion.

Insomniacs After School: 8.5/10

So fun fact: this is the rare series where I’ve actually read the manga before the anime was even announced! One of my Discord friends introduced me to Insomniacs After School, and despite my normal aversion to manga, I fell helplessly, recklessly head over heels in love with it. And if this adaptation made you feel any inch of that magic, then you owe it to yourself to check out the manga right away. Not just because there’s more story to cover beyond the anime’s admittedly pretty perfect stopping point, but because Lidenfilms’ workmanlike production is only able to capture, like 70% of what makes this series so special. And this stirring tale of two insomniacs learning to navigate the trauma of their sleepless nights together deserves to be experienced at its full, unblemished power. It’s an absolutely wonderful slow-burn romance that captures the nuances of teenage friend groups and coming of age like so few series I’ve consumed, and its portrayal of Nakami and Magari’s growing companionship under the night sky is sure to melt your heart into a sugary-sweet puddle. It’ll make you learn for your lost youth more palpably than any other show you’re likely to watch this year. And even in a season already jammed to the gills with exemplary rom-coms that really, truly get what it means to be a teenager or young adult, this slightly subpar take on the material still stands head and shoulders above them all.

Mobile Suit Gundam: the Witch from Mercury Season 2: 9/10

Be honest: did any other show even have a shot? For all the wonderfully realistic rom-coms and ambitious seinen mindfucks this season gave us, there was only ever one true contender to the throne. And I’m thrilled to say that after a fantastic first season putting all the pieces in perfect order, Gundam: Witch From Mercury stuck the landing with a riveting second season that smashed the game board and sent everything spiraling out of control in the best way possible. It’s like Ichiro Ookuchi took all the right lessons from his work on Code Geass- a seamless blend of high school melodrama and gut-wrenching mecha warfare, dizzying plotting that leaves you gasping for breath at the end of every episode, a sheer unrivaled confidence in the chaos of love and war- and refined them to a razor’s edge, delivering a never-ending roller coaster of jaw-dropping battles, explosive emotional payoffs, stunning twists that all make sense in retrospect, tears, laughter, hard choices, flawed characters overcoming their weaknesses, and a true coronation of Suletta and Miroine as one of the all-time great anime yuri couples. At times you can’t help but wish for more time to explore the many worldbuilding details and side characters that fall by the wayside as the chaos takes hold; two cours just isn’t enough to do justice to all the complex, interconnecting ideas this series is juggling. But the fact it works as well as it does, and bring it all home for such a satisfying finale, is proof of just how damn miraculous this series has been from start to finish. I couldn’t ask for a more perfect introduction to this storied franchise, and I couldn’t be more excited to see what this creative team will come up with next. And if you somehow haven’t gotten around to watching it yet? Fix that as soon as possible. You won’t regret it for a second.

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i-did-not-mean-to · 1 year

Text

F - Flowers

💝Happy birthday baby💝

@sorisooyaa, my darling girl, here is a story just for you!

Words: 782

Characters: Haldir x OC

Warnings: Age gap, insecurity

Haldir kneaded the poor flowers he was holding mercilessly.

He felt woefully out of place on the fancy college campus; usually, he and his beloved met in his flat or went to a restaurant out of town, but he had felt that it was important to her that he was invested and present in her day-to-day life as well.

Of course, he was aware of how laughable the feeling of embarrassment creeping up his throat was—he was a man grown and should not have been intimidated by a few college students walking to their next class, but he couldn’t help feeling like an intruder.

This was one of the downsides of an honest man falling helplessly in love with a woman much younger than him—he lived in the constant fear of being called a predator or of being thought of as someone who wanted to dominate his partner.

The truth of the matter was that he admired the woman he loved more than words could say; she was brilliant and kind and he was a lucky man to have won her heart.

Being a man of few words, Haldir was unfortunately patently incapable of explaining these things to others which, of course, made his insecurity only worse.

“Haldir,” she cried, visibly surprised, as she exited the old building like a breath of fresh air chasing away the cobwebs of their dignified surroundings.

Her dark hair was neatly tied back, and her eyes flashed with pleasure as she walked towards him without a moment’s hesitation; clearly, she did not share his worries for there was an undeniable expression of pride falling over her beautiful face as she tilted it up in expectation of a demure kiss.

“My love,” he sighed and presented her with the flowers. “I took the afternoon off, and I thought I might wait for you?”

“Oh, I can skip the last class,” she immediately said, but he shook his head. He had come to make her understand how proud he was of her and how much he wanted to be a full part of her life.

“No,” he articulated meticulously. “I will go to the library and read a book while waiting for you and maybe, we can go to that book shop you’ve been talking about so much later? Have dinner somewhere around there?”

“But…” she replied hesitatingly, “there might be other students. I thought you were uncomfortable with all that…I mean, I don’t want you to feel unhappy about having to do silly, childish stuff like that. I can go there another day.”

Haldir’s fist tightened around the bouquet he was still mistreating unconsciously.

“It’s your choice, if you’d rather not be seen with an old man…”

“No,” she cried out passionately. “That is not at all what I meant to say; I’d be honoured to have you accompany me—and carry my purchases in your strong arms.” She winked. “Nonetheless, I don’t want you to force yourself.”

The tight smile he had been trying to keep up mellowed into a more sincere expression of affection and gratitude.

“I’d be lying if I said that I don’t feel like I’m sticking out like a sore thumb,” he confessed, “but you are worth a bit of insecurity and discomfort. I am a tad older—and much less intelligent—than you, that’s a fact, and it’s silly to want to hide that forever. Sooner or later, people will know…We can’t very well be married all on our own, can we?”

It had been a joke to ease the tension, but her enigmatic, deep eyes grew soft with emotion almost instantly. “Do you really mean that? You and me, forever?”

“Of course,” he immediately confirmed. “I love you too much to let something as irrelevant as people’s prejudices and my own inferiority come between us.”

“You are being rather silly right now,” she chuckled, “for you are the best man I’ve ever met and I thank my lucky stars every day for having conquered you. I am not in the least ashamed of you and neither should you be.”

Taking the flowers, she hugged them to her chest tenderly. “I’ll find you after my class then? Not that I’ll pay much attention now that I know that a wonderful afternoon with you is waiting for me on the other end of that dreadful lecture.”

“Be good, my little bird,” he whispered, “I am so honoured to call you mine.”

Tears of emotion collected on her lower lashes like dew on a flower petal and he wiped them away carefully before lifting her hand to his lips.

“I love you,” he repeated insistently, “and I’ll be waiting for you!”

@fellowshipofthefics Here is the last one then!

Thank you to everyone who was with me for this ride!

@sorisooyaa I love you so much, my darling baby, and I am so endlessly proud of you! You're such a gem and such a light in my life! I am wishing you only the very best!

Here's a honey bunny for you ❤️

Lots of love from me

-> Masterlist

#og post #IDNMT writes #fanfiction #writing #Haldir x OC #Haldir #tolkien writing #jrrt #LOTR #April Alphabet #fotfics april alphabet #fellowshipofthefics #F #Flowers #Happy bday baby

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bleachbleachbleach · 1 year

Text

6/12-6/18/2023

I finished both Kensei’s and Hinamori’s chapters this week, which means that I have two Rukia chapters and one Renji chapter to go before I’ve finished Part 1 (of 3)! The second Rukia chapter is pretty close. The other two are not.

What I’m proudest of this week is starting to finish Hinamori’s chapter yesterday and thinking, “Wow, this is the worst thing I’ve ever written!” and then picking it up this morning and thinking, “Wow, this is the worst thing I’ve ever written!” and deciding that I’d just finish the chapter out before trying to enumerate what, exactly, I thought was bad about it. I did finish the chapter out! Yay! And it is still bad, but it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever written. There are parts I like. One of the big problems, though, is that there’s a patchwork of things I like spanning a completely insane conversation that is not, in fact, greater than the sum of its parts.

I was also really proud of Kensei’s chapter until the glow of having finished a chapter wore off, and now am kind of lukewarm about it again. But its issues feel less miasmic than the Hinamori chapter. I just think there’s too much going on, and the pieces are coming together in cacophony rather than resonance. Meanwhile, Hinamori’s chapter is just. Tortured. All the way down. The prose, that is, not Hinamori.

I’d share an excerpt to celebrate finishing chapters, but I already shared one from the Kensei chapter last year and I feel too much shame about the Hinamori chapter right now. So instead I’ll list the patchwork of things that ended up in this chapter, because the list makes it sound a lot better than the prose does, and I’m just going to give myself that, as a treat. The list may also explain why this chapter is more patchwork of things than a story, but that is neither here nor there tonight. I might post my list of things I want to work on later, if I’m able to articulate them.

Chapter 4: Hinamori

- how Shinji and Hinamori give and get information out of each other

- Hinamori’s opinion of Central 46′s ration schedule

- Hinamori’s opinion of Central 46′s governance in general

- Hinamori’s opinion of Hitsugaya’s commitment to working harder, not smarter

- the lost art of Soul Society shorthand script

- rice futures and tax schedules

- the 5th Division 12th seat who was too neurotic to take Shinji’s leadership style and left for the 9th to work on the SC, which Hitsugaya thinks is an insane decision for anyone to make if they wanted an organized leadership style (the 12th seat is fine and very happy and aggressively not in this story, he’s busy doing math)

- the 10th Division “weird tea” drawer, AKA “stuff Matsumoto brings from places, I don’t know where”

- my repeated failure to describe Hinamori describing Hitsugaya’s emotional state

- Hitsugaya’s opinion of the 10th Division couches

- Hinamori’s opinion of microwaves (+the only three words Hitsugaya has ever spent on microwaves)

- the 2750-word span of scenes where Hitsugaya and Hinamori attempt to make tea and never actually do

- flashbacks in flashbacks in flashbacks there’s no reason for this to be this Inception Hinamori get it together delete this

- Hinamori shouting over a pond and then feeding the koi

- Hinamori wondering what Soul Society’s policy on undocumented Ugandan immigrant ghosts is (which, while fascinating, probably shouldn’t be in this fic)

- Matsumoto not taking her own advice

- Iemura’s rugged, virile masculinity

- the poor management of the Rukongai refugee situation

- the fact that the Gotei are only interested in talking about the last seven days of the Thousand Year Blood War and not any of the things that happened during the thousand years of days before that

- Hinamori’s opinion of Hitsugaya’s eyes (they’re pretty)

- Hitsugaya perfecting the art of lying while only saying things that are true

- Hinamori’s inability to follow her own advice, which was Matsumoto’s advice that Matsumoto also didn’t follow

#stories for the sea

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choiscore · 1 year

Text

moc ch. 49: a collection of random notes

to @hongism 💌

hi caly! <3 this is anon 🧸 speaking.

today i’m trying something new. im reading the new chapter and annotating every thought i have while doing it so that nothing that i want to say has the CHANCE to be forgotten. this will be LONNNNG. im sorry but it’s what you deserve (in a positive way ofc). so if like there’s a plot twist or something that’ll shake me to my core further down the chapter, im not there yet. that’s why i sound calm. i’ve not started reading yet, that’s the actually the reason im calm at all! now let’s start <3 you’re in for a ride my beloved im sorry in advance.

also i was obviously inspired to do this by @marknee’s post but my thoughts aren’t nearly as articulate and detailed as theirs. this is real this is me 🧍‍♀️ my rambling wouldn’t fit in one or two or even three asks

the first scene with mingi was funny. it’s a first to see him relaxed like this. he cracked a joke AND smiled??? groundbreaking. i love his dynamic with mc and w everyone in the crew tbh. i feel like he has so much to show us yet!!

nightingale. oof, the part where he asks if mc was in bed with san when he told her about him was a low blow. and nightingale implying that san could be lying…. i know you said he’s being more sincere than we think but i can’t help being suspicious of him :-( i love my baby but he IS SUS. also i picture nightingale looking something like a cyborg with the glowing eye is that weird? i dig his look 😎 also we all know that san did some really bad stuff in the past and he’s dangerous dangerous but id really love to see him lose it. just truly be the scourge’s dog. but preferably away from any of the crew members please.

“What if he asks San to kill next time? Then what?” uh this seems like it’s foreshadowing something. i wasn’t that serious CALY IM SCARED

“I did too, at one point. Until San asked to take me to the brig one day. Even when I was fully in the mouth of a monster, I did not feel it. Not until he clamped his jaw down around me.” yeah san scares me im scared of what he’s capable of im shaking in my boots rn but at the same time it’s kinda attractive ngl i just don’t want him to hurt anyone we love!!!! 😭

“You wish to know the ins and outs of how things turned out the way they did if only to know how to avoid the same fate for yourself later down the line.” she is smart yeah that’s what im talking about!!! sick curiosity + being kinda scared + the need/want to feel safe is something i’ll never get tired of. i think it’s human nature to be attracted to extreme experiences and concepts that like push the limits of everything you’ve ever known while also knowing that you’ll never be the same if you really go after those things. that’s part of being alive ;-)

“[…] I climbed over her dead body and I reached into that man’s chest to break it open and squeeze the life of his heart.” is this the same thing she did to the security guard or like she literally opened his chest up? 👁️

fuck san and mc have a lot in common don’t they. they’re both so powerful and dangerous but at the same time they seem so afraid of what they’re capable of… i mean i don’t know if san truly is, but some part of me feels like he’s scared he can lose control and hurt someone he loves… on the other hand, i don’t know if mc knows the true extent of her powers and that >is< scary.

i LOVE jongho and mc’s relationship. they’re one of my favorites my babies i love them!!! not luca giving them 1 (one) chocolate whdnshxhqvdba cute!!! / “Yes, I’ll see you later, woman! We fuckin’ live together, it’s not like you’re going off to war,” i love them i do!!!!

“No, but Vida in general is nothing pleasant.” this is funny because vida in portuguese means life. yeah jongho life is nothing pleasant sometimes you’re right…. also why did you choose this name, caly? im so interested in moc lore 🥸

not san being a fucking menace and scaring jongho??? i can see him standing in the dark staring at poor jongho hiding in his little corner like 🧍‍♂️ also im so intrigued by san and hongjoong’s relationship. he has the same authority as seonghwa, huh? interesting. kinda terrifying. is san scared of hongjoong? 🤔

hongjoong is so petty oh my godddddhhgg i know he’s like that in real life too. changing the course of the ship to somewhere else bc jongho wanted to get off at the next stop? petty bitch

“You’re making a home in a house that does not belong to you, though that is not entirely your fault. San has let you in. Now Nightingale has pulled up a chair for you at the table. I suppose all that’s left is for either Hongjoong or myself to open all the closet doors so that the skeletons can fall out.” it’s not like i haven’t told you this before, but im in LOVE with your writing caly. i don’t have enough vocabulary for this but i could read whatever you write forever. this snippet in particular is so cool, the house metaphor… I love it!

“Did you only fuck me because it reminded you of Hongjoong?” oh fuck here we go im grabbing my popcorn. oh my god mc is going for hwa’s throat but she’s SO RIGHT slay queen / “You were never after anything more than sex but you hoped it would change things?” oop 🫣 he caught her there i’ll say that

jfc how did they start ripping each other apart so quickly the tension snapped in like a second??? also hwa pointing that mc hates hongjoong so much that she considers anyone that cares about him idiots… i mean. i sincerely cannot believe that anyone likes him for the person he is. the captain is not a good person. yes i love him, i do, but he’s goddamn awful. my point being that those who care about him only do because, like hwa said, he gave the crew a safe space AND he manipulated those around him because he has that power. they care about joong because they have to, it’s a safety measure… / “When your hatred turns to infatuation, I’ll be sure to tell you all the ways in which Hongjoong has orchestrated the destruction of your psyche since your arrival here.” I AM ABSOLUTELY SCREAMING / mc is so mad that hwa is implying that she wants hongjoong i can’t wait to see where this takes us i’d pay to see them together djahsnshqvvsbabsjab?-!:!/$/!

“Take a long hard look at yourself, Y/n. A woman who was just on her knees before me. Pliant, obedient, with no control to call her own. Isn’t that where you belong, Y/n? My pretty weapon, my pretty Siren, my pretty treasure.” wow this whole scene w hongjoong. i held my breath the entire time jesus christ it was so INTENSE i don’t even know what to say, my thoughts are still processing. hongjoong is truly worthy of the scourge title, i could feel his madness and the humiliation mc was feeling through the screen…

hoooo okay. why do i feel like san is trying to manipulate mc with sex? with the lovely words and touches just like nightingale said? it doesn’t sit well with me the way he started to eat her out while she was crying, it truly doesn’t…. and not her seeing hongjoong while she’s with san??? this is so twisted oh my god

SAN CALLING HER MY TREASURE WAS SO FUCKING INTENTIONAL AND THE WAY HE KNEW HONGJOONG WAS GOING TO MAKE HER HIS LEFT HAND FOR THE MISSION CALY HE KNOWS EVERYTHING HE DOES!!!!! fuck i don’t trust san AT ALL he probably knows about what hongjoong did to mc and he’s trying to excuse everything his beloved captain does!!! fucking scourge!!!!

ugh caly this was a ride i feel like crying bc i missed moc so much! it’s always such a pleasure to wait and read what that beautiful brain of yours comes up with!!! it’s always worth it. thank you so much for sharing this absolute gem of a story with us. 💗 can’t wait for the interim!

#i hope you’re not tired of my love letters caly #they’re about to be POSTS #*evil laughter*#love you lots

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strscrossed · 6 months

Note

Sprichst du auch Deutsch???

Anyway. If it’s not too much work, could you please share with me why you think Sissi/Death is like Eremika? I sincerely can’t see how!

I’m not gonna give any spoilers but, it’s not that Sissi doesn’t do anything about Death. She just has a different approach to him than the Wikipedia English articule might suggest. If you’re gonna watch/listen to the musical, please share your thoughts or review it later! I’d love to read it!

But I can’t see Eren seducing Mikasa’s son to the point of driving him toward suicide. Eren is selfish, he’s possessive, he’s jealous and prone to rage. The connection of Eren to Death is tempting to makes But Eren wanted Mikasa to forget him and live a long life. Death here wants Sissi dead so she can be with him.

If I’m gonna be honest, I have a really hard time seeing Eren as Death or Mikasa as Sissi. I think Eren could be Sissi though. They’re both idealistic young people who grew up carefree, but found out their world was oppressive and cruel and indifferent towards them. They’re both disillusioned and depressed, but Sissi was an escapist, Eren sought do destroy what he hated.

Mikasa’s devotion to Eren mirrors Franz Joseph’s love for Sissi. He failed her again and again, but he never stopped loving her the way he knew how (‘Sie wissen nicht, wie ich diese Frau geliebt habe’). And his sense of duty is like Mikasa’s. Alas, Franz Joseph was not loved back, and instead chose to let Sissi spend as much time away as she wanted.

no I don’t speak german though i understand small amounts of it.

i’m actually spoiler friendly so please feel free to drop spoilers! yes I’m going to watch it this weekend or maybe even thursday and i’m so very excited because sisi is one of my favorite european historical figures!

i think the thing about aus are that we can tailor them and adjust them as we see fit. i also think experiences also shape characters into what they are. like in canon, eren was protecting her for something spent the rest of his life trying to protect her. he wanted her to live a long life you’re right but what if he didn’t have that connection to her? he met her as death. and the only way to be together was well, him going for it. again i’ll have to watch this for more context but i do believe based on context, eren may be more or less selfish with her.

you know i always did get the feeling that the relationship between franz josef and sisi was one sided but also he did nothing to protect her from his awful mother either. i personally don’t see that with em.

also one thing was that death takes two of sisi’s children. i don’t see eren doing that intentionally. i can see him doing that inadvertently though. especially in canon where he inadvertently causes the death of his mother by rerouting dina’s titan’s path and also causing sasha’s death via the attack on liberio.

tbh the death and the maiden trope is something i’ve always associated with eremika with mikasa being the personification of rebirth and starting over while eren was the personification of death and the harbinger of doom.

just how i see it as of now.

#answered

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alinasaman · 1 year

Text

These days I feel too tired to exist but excited to live. It’s a strange feeling. These days I wonder who I am and who I want to be.

However, at times like this I’m reminded that we have lived together for half a decade, in the grand scheme of the eternal curse of time, it is a very short period.

Yet

Somehow, you made me feel safe and loved and with you - I felt like myself. Even in sadness, there was honesty. Over the years, we went through many phases together, shared the same kitchen, ambitions and the fact that all of our lives maybe we never had any viable dreams, we learnt to accept that it is okay to have no life-fulfilling-altruistic-dream-like-sense-of-purpose and how to move forward with that realisation.

Selfishly, I want to be around you more.

Selfishly, I want to be able to always reach out to you.

Selfishly, I want you to stay.

Realistically, I know that change is an inevitable part of life and there will be moments when you’ll feel far away.

However, as I grow older I am becoming more and more scared? What about you, do you feel scared too? What if I forget how to live like how you know me and you don’t recognise me anymore? Truthfully, I have a lot of thoughts these days. Anyways, this isn’t about me. I thought a lot about what I should gift you this year but nothing felt right, coupled with the fact that I have no penny to my name. I couldn’t invest much money but I did invest a lot of my time to create art you might like. For now, hope you’ll like it. One day I’ll buy you concert tickets but for now please accept my letter, preciously.

You mean a lot to me and you’ve brought so much happiness into my life that nobody will be able to replicate.

Whatever you choose for yourself I promise I’ll be the first person to understand your side, just as, I am assured you’ll always be on my side. I hope we continue to be each other’s biggest supporters for the rest of our lives. How lucky we’d be if that happens ?

I hope the next years that come by will be kind to you just as you’ve been kind to those around you.

I see your sacrifices, your worries and most importantly your grace in the midst of it all. Just know that I am very proud of you. For the person you are. It takes courage to decisively try to live each day by your morals even if it means standing out from the crowd, even if it means saying no to the things that don’t feel right to you but are expected of you.

Just because others are having a difficult time, doesn’t mean your problms will be any less important. So whenever you have a difficult time come to me, I will be your enabler and if necessary call you out on the things that you can resolve.

When you need me, even if I can't do anything, the very least I will hug you. So later, we can smile about it together.

I’m sorry I have a lot of thoughts but not a lot of articulation.

So I’ll stop here. I will keep cheering for you until the day you want me to.

Alzu.

#SoundCloud

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theres-whump-in-that-nebula · 2 years

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Oasis: Day Nine (Continued)

Later…

Sophia and her sister Kylie insisted that I eat something. They’re very sweet, but they should know not to interrupt people like that.

Anyway, I’ll continue the events of the day before yesterday:

When Sophia told me how old she was (and by consequence, how old I was), I instantly felt lightheaded. Under any other circumstances I wouldn’t have believed it. I was a physicist for thirty-six years; so always I use the scientific method and never make assumptions based upon anyone’s word — especially not a stranger’s.

But after observing this world and living in it, it seems to me that the beauty and wonder of this place transcend even the most qualified reason. The laws that govern the universe are different; perhaps this is even a different universe altogether. So, coming from a different universe; it’s not my place to judge it with the laws of my own, right? Or maybe I was never in “my universe.” Maybe it was all a horrible nightmare which I have awoken from after hibernating for a thousand years. I don’t know.

No, it’s not very rational. There is no way to either prove or falsify any of their claims or mine; but I can feel it. I cannot explain any more than that. My primal instincts have taken over. I just feel that I am right. I feel that I am finally home. Am I going crazy? Whatever. I feel good for the first time in my life and I’m not inclined to disrupt that goodness. I believe; and I am eternally grateful for it… Isn’t it wonderful how I can say that and actually mean it? All this time I’ve been so worried about death; and now here I am, aging in reverse!

I was stunned speechless. Sophia must’ve taken my reaction as being related to my concussion; so she left me to rest.

I tried to ask her where I was and how I got here, but all she said was, “If the knowledge has been taken from you; then it isn’t my place to give it back.” In the middle of speaking to me, she briefly looked up, saying, “Forgive me; I’ve said too much already.”

Moments later, a lady with light brown hair came into the room with some water and an earthenware bowl on a bamboo tray. Evidentially told by Sophia that I don’t remember anything, she introduced herself, “I’m Kylie, Sophia’s sister.”

In the bowl she carried was vegetable soup: zucchini, yellow squash, spinach, potato, and rice. She asked if I needed help eating it; I replied that I could feed myself. Nevertheless, she sat in the chair by the bed as I ate, to supervise me; I suppose she thought I was at risk of choking (or whatever)?

“Do you know how I got here?” I asked.

Kylie paused, as if choosing her words carefully (she has a very soft-spoken voice), “I suspect… the same way we all got here… Please don’t be alarmed; you will remember soon enough.”

“Young la—“ I corrected myself, “Miss. I don’t know where I am. I don’t know who you or your sister are; and I am sick of being spoken to in such a patronizing manner.”

Kylie looked off to the side, away from me, “Then I will not speak.”

“Why? Why won’t you speak?”

She only looked at me, sadly. I tried to ask her again; but she refused to speak until I was finished eating, and then the only words she uttered were “Can I take these away,” referring to the bowl and glass.

I feel she — and Sophia, for that matter — have good intentions; their treatment of me is proof enough of that. But they unsettle me in ways I cannot fully articulate. They dote on me; but also step carefully around me as if I have some contagious disease. They seem to love and care about me; but they purposefully don’t speak to me much. It’s all very strange.

I think I’m going to rest now. My head is aching again.

…

Tagging: @astudyinpanda @oldwoolhat @jiminy-cricket-but-gay @gorelabs @straight-to-the-pain @incoherent-introspection @nova-3-the-exo

…

Masterlist

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dadkisser15 · 6 days

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Happy

I’m very tired so this isn’t very well written at all!!!!! 🙁

Cute thing happened: I got really nervous and I wasn’t going to do it but I knew that if I didn’t do it I was going to regret it!! So, I give him a kiss over the phone (super corny) ask for one back and he gives one back!!! Grhshhhjjj I love how playful he is with me and I wanted to tell him that I loved him (kinda in a friendly way but now I’m unsure), I didn’t want to say it because I didn’t want to be weird but man I love him. He makes me so happy and I wish I could tell him that made my entire night, just hearing his voice and him playing along with me. A great friend and I wish I could actually kiss him, on his handddddd, his foreheadd, Cheek!!!, mouth uhhh i csntbthink of anywhere else but oh my goodness gracious he is so cute. Chat, I want him sobadx. i can’t stop smiling and thinking about him is making me smile even more (im going crazy!!!) I genuinely wished I could articulate the feeling to him, this feeling I have right now he deserves to feel like this and much more. I didn’t work out today because my rooooomnwas so hot (literally can’t work out anywhere else and I refuse to bring my yoga mat outside.) and I was just too happy (I usually work out when im upset) im just so happy, I don’t know if I dreamt about saying it but I told him I was happy I don’t think I elaborated though

Too embarrassedbut I wish I did I could’ve just told him that he makes me happy and even when he isnt joking his presence alone makes me feel good and I can’t help BUT smile. I just really needed to write about this before going to bed because gosh I am happy and I haven’t really been the happiest this week. I apologized to him again because Itl told him to perish since he didn’t kiss back but that was mostly because I was embarrassed and i regret that so much, he probably didn’t WANT to give that kiss back but I still got it! I’m happy about that but mad at myself for reacting like that just because I got embarrassed. I probably made him uncomfortable with how weirdly forward that was “gimme a FAT kiss”” whyyyyy did I say that

I thought about it for a minute but apparently that wasn’t long enough.. like IDIOY!!! I could’ve said CAN YOU PLEASE KISS ME GOODNIGHT “ like a normal person but no I was like all or nothing… damn! guys I’d love to kiss him ☹️ I’d love to purposely get my lipstick on his face (and wipe it off for him) I wanna hold his hand and just go to a very scenic place, sos so corny of me but I’d love it so much and being corny is my true nature. I feel so bad that I kept him up and now he’s gonna be all tired during school!! I’ll probably apologize for that later on today and I hope I don’t forget to because I do want to say sorry. I kinda want to apologize for asking him for a kiss like that, LIKE A LITTLE WEIRDO. For once, can I be NORMAL when I like someone like Jesus fucking Christ man. Constantly making a fool of myself!!!!!!! Even though im upset about me being weird im still so happy soooooo happy. Christ he’s just spending time with me because we’re friends but i love it. I love it so much. He’s probably indifferent about it but i enjoy our time so much, too much some would say. Ohhh and i partially told him about the dream i had when inapped the other day, it sorta fit perfect since i sent him this dumb meme and i was running with it and he probably thought I wasn’t serious about it. But he was in my dream like we didn’t do anything odd just driving around and i literally couldn’t stop smiling IN SAID DREAM that I just had to keep covering my mouth because I was so happy. I wrrote a lil bit about that dream in my notes somewhere because literally after I woke up that First part of the dream made me want to explode (in a good way) okay I need to conclude thisnbecsuse I was supposed to just be documenting this real quick but I need to sleep now💭💭💭💭💭

Wait chat I can’t sleep yet I need to also write this down just because but he called me funny like several times today and he seemed so genuine and I got a bit shy because he said it SEVERALLL TIMES !! Like I went quiet for a bit but I obviously thanked him. Oh and I just love when he’s serious like that, I love when people are being genuine and REAL!! Normally I’d be like oh you’re not being serious but his tone felt so different from his usually joking tone that I actually got embarrassed because it was so random, why was he randomly complimenting me!!! Nothing wrong with it though i liked it a lot, making him laugh makes me happy. His laugh is so sweet and just I can’t get enough of it, his voice in general is so yum but his laugh is so fucking cute. I’ve complimented his voice before and I think his laugh too (I’m unsure) but he acts as if his voice is so unpleasant! Which it isnt, literally so fucking attractive like I love it when he talks and oh that laugh, THATTTT LAUGH soo cute so so cute

Sooooo cute

Such a sweet laugh and it’s a shame that I probably wont ever get to tell him that because im a pussy ass bitch who’s scared of expressing herself FAWKKKKKK. Guys could you tell that like his voice. also he has nice hands, hot hands!! Mama Mia!! Okay gn what the fuck is wrong with me 😨

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itsthatkidjeo · 1 year

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Writing About Writing

Writing never seemed fun or interesting for me. Unlike people who stutter and stumble upon their words when talking, I find it hard for me to articulate my mind when writing, the words that pop out, later fade out. I actually dislike everything about writing as it shows what a mess of a head I have. On normal days when nothing decent comes into my mind, I call a friend to write about my requirements for school. On busy days when everyone has something to do, I find someone to pay just to finish my school papers. Actually, I’m on the verge of letting someone do this blog for the sake of passing my course, and take note, I’ll probably pass this blog late at night or we never know. Yes, this is because of the messy head I have—or maybe not.

Recently, I’ve talked about how aspiring bloggers need to be interested in the piece they’re writing in order to interest other people too. Perhaps, that’s what I found just now, ‘interest.’

It’s been a long time since I met my highschool friends or barkada. I reside in Manila due to my college being there, and my friends are almost all in Pampanga. That’s why when I came back for a short while, we decided to meet in SM Pampanga. Before all of us, barkadas met, some of us ate bibimbap in the Foodcourt in order to save money. After a while, we went outside to sight see the Sky Ranch and talked a little bit before going to Bacolor to go visit friends there. While on a ride at that time, I thought of how uninterested I am in so many things—of displeasing coffees, too peaceful places, and unknown people in general—just like how uninterested I am with writing.

When all of us finally met, I felt a part of me awaken. I was happy, perhaps euphoric. And I never had an exhilarating day that I would be typing this and writing this on my own. I too, was shocked that I found myself ridiculous at this moment.

With that, I can’t help but compare writing to everything that happened that day. Bacolor at that time, was like a sleeping city for me. With its own state college, DHVSU, standing in front of their dorm, the small restaurants, the stores, and the marketplace, they were all in a deep slumber and the only thing that was accessible was the 7/11 near their dorm and the Alfamart. Everything seemed so unfamiliar to me, too opposite in Manila, and something that I would dislike. Actually on normal days, I would avoid peaceful places like this. But somehow, I was more lively than I am in the wild city. It felt strange, like how I am writing this now.

Going back, I thought we will never find something to loaf around until a few strive away from their dormitory. The Sampgyupsal place looked like a normal-looking restaurant. To my surprise, it only costs 199 for an unlimited meal. I didn’t expect much, that’s why I wasn’t shocked when they served us fatty meats and a cheese that tastes like sopas. But who am I to complain? It was reasonable for the price, and I couldn’t care less as I was with important people.

As we chatted for more, I couldn't believe that everything in that city was cheap—the dormitories, restaurants, the cost of living in general was almost 5 times of what it costs me in Manila!

So what am I even talking about?

Ah, yes.

That place is strange.

I am strange.

Because I am writing about this right now.

Someone who detests everything about displeasing coffees, too peaceful places, unfamiliar people, and writing in general, is actually writing right now. Goodness, I am writing!

Writing for me was never fun nor interesting. But I guess I just never had an exhilarating day that I wanted to write every moment down. As someone who has a messy head like mine—I know you already know with my way of writing—writing still can never be impossible. When you find the most interesting people in your life, or maybe it’s just the day, you’ll also be able to jot it down like the back of your head knows every right word to put down on paper.

How about you? What do you want to write?

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nctsworld · 3 years

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skateboard love

✩‌ yangyang x reader | skater boy!yangyang | college au | fluff | 2.2k

SUMMARY | yangyang tries to get you to skateboard for the first time and in doing so, you’re taken back to when you first met him. // for @notnctu’s beginning collab! WARNINGS | slight injury (reader trips over a curb), one swear word, kissing RATING | teen+ TAGLIST | @infnteen

“I can’t do this,” you mutter, shaking your head in defeat.

The ocean waves clamour nearby as you stare down at the skateboard and concrete pavement beneath your sneakers in frustration.

The weight of your helmet and the wrist guards are blatant in your every movement. Sure, it’s a little embarrassing at your age, but it’d be best to rather be safe than sorry.

Thankfully, they’ve been coming in handy during the times you almost fell and slipped off of your boyfriend’s skateboard. It may have been his idea to try to learn, but you weren’t opposed to it, thinking it’d be easy.

They say things are easier said than done, and now you’re forced to admit skateboarding definitely falls under that list.

“Yes, you can,” Yangyang softly says. Beside you, he gives your hand a gentle squeeze, causing you to peer into his gleaming eyes and bright smile.

Despite the recentness of your relationship, your boyfriend’s patience and encouragement feels like routine, like he’s been by your side for your entire life. His words don’t fall on deaf ears; you parrot his smile and muster a small nod, albeit glancing away shyly.

“Just think about all the times you’ve watched me skate past the library and copy what I did.”

Petulantly, you stick your tongue out. “It wasn’t that often.”

Disbelief reflects back at you in the form of an eyebrow raise.

“Really?”

“Really!”

Around mid-September, in the most modern, glass-structured library on campus, you found a studying area that was perfect for you.

Main floor, nearby the entrance doors for an easy exit when class was about to roll around. A high stool chair that was cushioned comfortably for endless hours of equal parts studying and procrastination. Plugs and desk space galore.

Above all, it was perfect because you had the picturesque view of the boy who always skated every other day around 11:50am towards his next class across the wide stoned boulevard in front of the library.

You noticed him the first few times when you initially sat upstairs. Even from afar and above, your interest was piqued over how coolly he skated past all the students. There were only so many students who biked to their next class, and even less who skateboarded.

And after you decided to sit downstairs for once to finally steal a closer glimpse of him, you were completely smitten upon capturing his handsome features.

Thus, your heart constantly raced in anticipation when 11:50am hit, as students scattered all across campus during this transition period.

With a thumb tucked in his pocket and headphones over his ears to boot, the mystery skater boy often slid past around 11:55am, making your mind wonder where his former class was and where he was going. Was he in Engineering? Arts? Business?

The latter option didn’t seem likely since his style didn’t echo the stereotypical look of the faculty. Dark coloured hoodies and sweaters, bomber jackets, and skinny jeans were his usual choice of fashion, alongside the occasional baseball cap. And on the days he wore his cap backwards, he was truly in his skater element.

No matter, you always swooned with your chin perched atop your fist or resting inside your palm as he passed by. The brief sighting of him easily became the highlight of your day.

You would be lying if you said you didn’t try to look for him in your classes, but to no avail. You had to live with the fact that you’d only get to know him in passing as he skated on by the library.

When the mere hoodies and sweaters were exchanged for heavier, thicker jackets and coats, he still continued to traverse across campus via his unsurprising mode of transportation. You especially admired his dedication on the days filled with rain and wind, wishing there was some way for you to ease his trips to his next class.

All throughout the couple of months, he was consistent in attending that one class.

Except one day.

It was a Friday, about a week or two near finals season. The weather was quite chilly now, but snow wouldn’t be an issue until after winter break and well into the next semester, so there wasn’t any reason for him to not use his skateboard still.

Maybe he was sick at home, you thought. Pouting, you tried not to dwell over the stranger because that’s all what he was.

Someone you didn’t know, someone you only watched from afar. Someone that filled your daydreams, pondering what he’d be like and what’d you two could talk about... but nevertheless a stranger.

Oddly enough, about an hour past noon, someone dragged you out of your thoughts momentarily as they unusually sat nearby your spot.

The unspoken library etiquette was to sit as far away from others for more personal space, especially in the area where you frequented. You tried your best to ignore the shuffling of the person placing their laptop and books onto the elongated wall-length table, feigning laser-focus on your notes.

But a few moments later, you heard a whisper coming from their direction.

“Is this your favourite spot in the library?”

“Hm?” you hummed, dragging your headphones down to your shoulders as you swivelled towards the seated stranger. Air seized in your lungs and your eyebrows shot up.

The gorgeous skater boy glowed with rosy cheeks from the cold air outside, paired with his stunning smile. You realized this was the first time you’ve ever seen him smile—preciously, by the way, with his teeth on full display—and your heart stirred like crazy.

A beat stretched out. Your jaw hung in shock and you blinked blankly. Guess you solved the mystery as to where he was today.

He beamed more intensely at your awe struck and continued to whisper, “I always see you sitting here when I get to my next class.”

“Uhm,” your jaw snapped up, prior to your dry gulp. “What?”

“Yeah,” his deep chuckling tickled your ear. God, of course a smooth voice matched a face like that. “you stare out the window so cutely whenever I pass by the library.”

A record scratched, then you rewound the moment in your head. Not only did he knew you existed but...

Did he just called you cute?

Catching on with awareness over his own words, the skater boy pouted to one side. His cheek jutted out adorably and red seemed to crawl over them, progressing over to the tips of his ears too.

Light giggling from both parties filled the space, with you tucking your hair behind your ear and him tugging on the ends of his sweater paws.

“So, are you skipping class?” you asked, tilting your head curiously.

“Yeah,” he replied, gesturing towards his busy study set-up ahead of him. It was a similar scene to yours—notes layered and layered upon each other, a laptop which displayed more notes, and a few textbooks were open too. “When you need to skip a class to study for another class...”

You nodded sympathetically, pointing a finger to your organized mess to imply the same. “Finals season.”

He nodded as well in unity and you two exchanged another round of smiles.

“I’m Yangyang.”

With that, introductions were made and bits of information were shared. Your hunch was right—he was in Engineering, but he also had some elective labs that were being held in the Science side of campus. Made sense why he had to navigate across campus from one end to the other.

Before the conversation began to get carried away, he issued a small apology. “Sorry, I really shouldn’t be interrupting your studying. I’ll leave you be.”

Admittedly, it caught you off guard. You wanted to pipe up about how he wasn’t interrupting, that you wanted to dive into getting to know him more. You’ve seen him practically almost every day for the last couple of months and you didn’t want to let this chance slip through your fingers.

Yet, at the same time, you begrudgingly knew he was right. You had to study for your upcoming in-class final, so you held your thoughts back and unwillingly turned back to your responsibility at hand.

It was difficult to study with skater boy being in the same vicinity as you—practically an arm’s length away from you—but you eventually tampered down your jitters and honed your attention.

Hours passed. Neither of you really shifted much besides the casual stretching or the much needed break to the bathroom.

Darkness loomed in the winter sky and out of the corner of your eye, you noticed him writing, which he hadn’t done during the time he’d been there.

And then, after an ear-piercing slow rip of paper that echoed in the library, he slid that piece of paper in your direction with one simple question that ignited the spark for the beginning of you and him—

I know we just met, but do you want to go out sometime?

“’Cause if I recall...” Yangyang continues, breaking you away from your bout of reminiscing. He absentmindedly tucks away some loose strands of hair sticking out of your helmet. “You watched me at least since the beginning of last semester—”

“Nu-uh,” you cut in, lying in a childish tone.

“Yuh-huh,” he rebuttals.

Under the warm afternoon sunlight, you two begin to have a staring contest, squinting and playfully seething at one another. When your boyfriend squints harder with a ruffle of his nose, you follow suit. Eventually, you give in with a sigh.

“Okay, fine. Even if I did watch you a lot, it doesn’t mean I can just absorb your skateboarding skills through memory.”

Cockiness fades over his joking exterior as he flashes you a shit-eating grin. “It’s cause you were too busy focusing on my handsome face.”

Becoming second nature for you by now as he’s often like this, you roll your eyes and lightly punch him in the arm, but... he isn’t wrong.

And from your lack of an articulate response, Yangyang knows he’s right.

Sparing you from injuring your pride further, he swings the conversation back to what you were doing here in the first place.

A hand of his steadies you by the bottom of your back. “Balancing feels weird, I know, but you’ll get the hang of it. Let’s try again.”

Releasing a lengthy exhale, your head bounces fervently in hopes that false confidence and your boyfriend’s support can morph into a successful skateboard run.

The careful push he gives you is ample enough to have you ride down the street by yourself. Your body wavers side by side and you fear that you’ll teeter to a stop like all the other times, but somehow, your foot swipes across the pavement, carrying you further down the street.

It’s not fast by any means, but as you persistently execute it, you gain traction and see yourself finally riding without any issues.

“Yangyang, I got it. I got it!” you shriek as you quickly glance back towards him.

He radiates in response and gets lost in you, equally proud that you finally found your balance and basking in how stunning you look as you coast down the beach side street.

However, his trance breaks when he sees you’re about to hit the edge of a street curb.

“Babe, watch ou—”

The scene happens fast. You’re suddenly laying on a patchy part of the grass, with the skateboard by your feet. Yangyang bolts to you, hunching down as he daintily tugs you to sit upward.

“You okay?” he pants nervously.

At first, you nod without a thought since the helmet and wrist guards have saved you from any potential major injuries.

However, your boyfriend’s eyes widen when out of nowhere, you draw in air between clenched teeth. Your butt feels as if it’s on fire, since it was actually the body part that mostly broke your fall.

He suggests to sit here for a while to let the pain dissipate, reassuring you’ll be fine from his own past experiences.

As you rest awkwardly beside him on the grass, placing weight on your hip rather than your rear end, he aids you in ridding of your safety gear. Once they’re off, he kisses your hand tenderly.

“Maybe we should leave the skateboarding to me, for now,” he mumbles softly into your skin, leaving another kiss upon your hand.

You mope in agreement. “Maybe so...”

Caressed in his arms, you link eyes with him. Your eyes flutter to a close while he delicately eases you into him by the back of your neck.

The intense pressing of his lips against yours feels heavenly, almost entirely sedating your mild pain. He kisses you deeper, disregarding everyone and everything in proximity. You reciprocate it all back eagerly, cupping his cheek and gripping onto his strong frame as you do so.

Peeling away breathlessly, you tip your forehead against his. “Should we go back to the library and have me watch you longingly from our old spot?”

Yangyang hurriedly shakes his head.

“Nope. Never again,” he replies, his thumb stroking your cheek. “If you’re watching me skateboard, you’ll be doing it by my side from now on, beautiful.”

A chuckle trickles from you. You’re about to retort back, but your one and only skater boy diverts your train of thought, dragging you in for another long, blissful kiss.

#yangyang x reader #yangyang fluff #yangyang fanfic #yangyang imagines #nct fluff #nct imagines #nct fanfic #wayv fluff #wayv imagines #wayv fanfic #yn brainrot #beginningscollab

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homoose · 3 years

Text

Love Has a Learning Curve: Part I (x reader insert)

Summary: Our favorite couple has some catching up to do.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader (or xOC)

Category: hurt/comfort, fluff

Warnings/Includes: descriptions of Mexico and prison; they have a sleepover, but it’s just talking and sleeping 🥰

Word count: 3.5k

a/n: Here we go!!!!! We’re picking up from right where we left off in tmsidk part X.

Song Rec: The Luckiest by Ben Folds

Series Masterlist

———

“Do you— would you want to— come upstairs?” he asked.

Spencer stood in front of her, unsure of what to do with his hands. Y/N was absolutely radiant— bathed in the very last of the golden daylight and more beautiful than he even remembered. All he wanted to do was hug her again and never let go.

She shook her head, and he tried not to instantly deflate. “I have to feed Roald.” She smiled a little at him and restarted his heart. “But would you want to come over? We could order somethi—”

“Yes— yes.” She let out a quiet laugh at his eagerness, and he wanted to hear that sound every day for the rest of his life. “Can I— I just want to drop this stuff off and change, and then I’ll, um.” He gestured vaguely to her. “Should I drive you or do you want to walk or I can just— meet you? Whatever— whatever you want.”

“I’m gonna head back now and take care of Roald. Take your time, and just— well, here.” She held out her hand. “I’ll put my number in your phone, and you can just text me when you’re on your way.”

He fumbled the phone out of his pocket, placed it into her outstretched hand, and nearly vibrated with the way her fingers brushed over his. She stared at the unsophisticated phone in her hand. “You weren’t kidding about the technology thing, huh?”

He ran a hand down the back of his neck and shrugged. “I prefer to keep things simple.”

“I haven’t seen a T9 keyboard since I was in high school. This is a relic,” she laughed and then gave him a soft smile. “And… very you.”

He watched her fingers as she pressed along the tiny keys, still sort of in shock that she was here, that he was getting a second chance, that she wanted to do this with him. She handed the phone back to him and then stuffed her hands in her pockets. “So, I’ll see you in a little bit?”

He nodded and gave her his best smile. She stepped forward into his space, and his eyes went a little wide as she leaned up and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. She stepped back with a smile, then waved and turned on her heel headed to her car.

He stood rooted to the spot until she had disappeared from view, then let out a long breath and looked down at the small screen of his phone at her contact information. His lips twitched at the name she’d given herself.

Miss Honey <3

…

Forty five minutes later, Spencer smoothed down the front of his cardigan and blew out a sigh. He’d spent five of those minutes reveling in the magic that was Y/N, and the other forty convincing himself that she’d already changed her mind. But he was a man in love, and so he was standing in front of her building, willing himself to press her buzzer.

He was jolted out of his stupor by the buzzing of his phone. He pulled the device from his pocket and saw her name on the tiny screen, hesitating only a moment before pressing the button to answer. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He could hear her smile through the tinny speaker, and it immediately set him at ease. “I was just checking to make sure you remembered where you were going.”

“Yeah, I— I’m outside now, actually,” he confirmed.

“Oh, great! I’ll buzz you up.”

The door buzzed open, and Spencer pocketed his phone, stepping into the small foyer. He wiped his sweaty hands on his pants as he made his way to the staircase. He had barely taken the first step when she called, “It’s the third floor!”

He barely resisted the urge to take the stairs two at a time. When he reached the landing of the third floor, she was standing in the doorway in a purple sweatshirt, sweatpants, and fuzzy socks with dragons on them. He couldn’t help but grin.

“Hey.” She returned his smile. “Come on in.” She moved aside and waved him into her apartment.

He stepped over the threshold, and she closed the door behind him. “I can take your coat. Feel free to leave your shoes there. Roald will be in hiding for the next half hour or so,” she informed him.

He shrugged out of his coat and handed it to her, looking briefly around the tidy space. The walls of her living room were a calming mint green, adorned with plenty of art and photographs. Her couch was a blush pink velvet, exactly as soft as she was.

“Okay, I’m starving,” she admitted, turning to hang his coat in the coat closet. “We can order pizza, Indian, Thai— any preference?”

He shook his head. “No, whatever you want.”

She closed the closet door and cocked an eyebrow. “So if I wanted to order a huge pizza with extra cheese, you’d be cool with that?”

“Sure, absolutely,” he nodded.

She tilted her head. “Even with your dairy thing?”

He was surprised that she even remembered such a tiny detail from all those months ago, and his heart would have fluttered if he wasn’t so focused on making as few waves as possible. He still couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d made a mistake letting him back in, and he didn’t want to do anything that would cause her to rethink her decision. “Well, it’s— it’s just a sensitivity, not a true allergy. Although it’s gotten a bit worse in recent years. But really, whatever you want to do is fine.”

He suddenly struggled to make eye contact, feeling overwhelmingly awkward and out of place. Now that he was here in her apartment, it was only a matter of time before the other shoe dropped. He cracked the knuckles on each finger as he waited for it. She let out a small sigh, and he braced himself for impact.

“Why don’t you come sit?”

Her voice was quiet, and then her hand on his arm was soft, and she was leading him to the couch and sitting down next to him. She kept some distance between them, placed her hands in her lap, and then she was still for a long moment. He could feel her eyes on him, but he wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t know if she wanted him to say anything at all.

“You know I forgive you, right?” The question was tentative. He met her eyes, and he didn’t see the regret or pity that he expected. There was something else there; something he couldn’t quite decipher. “Because I do. Forgive you. You apologized, and you meant it, and you allowed me space and time to process. And that’s— that’s all I could have asked for.”

As seemed to always be the case, the task of articulating what he was feeling began to crush him under its weight. The words were there, but he couldn’t get the order right. If it were anyone else, he would have just evaded the conversation entirely. But he’d promised her that he would try. After everything he’d put her through, she deserved that much.

He breathed in through his nose, expelling it in a sigh. “I’ve just— I’ve spent the last month thinking about this— about you— pretty much exclusively,” he admitted, staring at his hands. “And I’m just realizing that I never really… allowed myself to think about what would happen next, because I wasn’t sure that this would happen at all.” He gestured between them and then looked at her. “And now I’m here— with you, and I just— it’s…” He let out a sigh.

“Doesn’t live up to expectations?” she prompted.

His eyes went wide, and he moved closer to her on the couch. “No— god, no.” He instinctively reached for her hand, felt that electricity again when she allowed him to lace their fingers together. He was already making a mess of things. “You always exceed expectations.” He shook his head, and she squeezed his hand. “I just— I don’t… I don’t wanna mess this up.”

She covered their intertwined fingers with her other hand, rubbed her thumb along his. “I don’t think you will. Something tells me you don’t typically make the same mistake twice,” she inferred.

He laughed a little at that, and she gave him a sweet smile, and then she said, “So, no pizza. How about Indian?”

…

They were just cleaning up the last of the take out containers when Roald made his way out of Y/N’s bedroom.

“There he is! Hey, buddy,” she cooed, leaning down to give Roald a quick pet. She gave Spencer a sheepish smile. “He takes a while to warm up to new faces, so don’t be offended if he’s not—”

She was stopped mid-sentence by Roald’s decision to make a beeline for him. The cat stopped to give a cursory sniff before weaving between Spencer’s legs, purring loud enough that they could both hear it. Her mouth dropped open a bit as he leaned down to scratch between Roald’s ears.

“He— he is never that friendly,” she said incredulously. “There really is something about you, Dr. Reid.”

He looked up at her with a smile. “I’m just glad he approves. Would have been kind of awkward otherwise.”

“He’s a very good judge of character, so that bodes well for you,” she confirmed.

“Oh yeah?” Spencer scratched underneath Roald’s chin, grinning at the contented cat. He brought his gaze back to her, standing back to his full height when he realized she’d moved… a lot closer. His tongue darted out to wet his lips, and he watched her eyes track the motion.

“Yeah.”

He thought back to that night nearly two months ago, the way his mouth had verged on violent when she’d kissed him. He hated that their first kiss was tainted with his foolishness, that he’d marred that memory for them both. He couldn’t take it back, and he wasn’t certain that she wanted to kiss him now, but he couldn’t stop himself from asking.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yes, please,” she breathed.

He brought his hands to her face and used a gentle grip to pull her in. She rested her warm palms against his waist and let her fingers dig in, holding herself steady as his lips met hers.

He kept the kiss as soft as she deserved, opening his mouth to let her in but letting her lead and take him wherever she wanted to go. Her hands slid around to his back, and she tugged him in closer. He left one hand cradling her face but moved the other to the small of her back and pulled her flush against him.

She huffed out a tiny breath against his mouth, her lips turning up in a smile that he could feel in his toes. She brought one hand up to his jaw, rubbed her thumb across his cheek and then wound her fingers into his hair. She tangled them in his curls and tugged just enough to break the kiss, pressing their foreheads together with a sigh.

“If it’s all the same to you, I think I’m just gonna wipe our first kiss from my memory and replace it with that one,” she murmured.

“I’m very much on board with this rewrite,” he agreed.

“Excellent.” She used the hand in his hair to pull him forward into another quick kiss. Roald made his presence known at their feet with a loud meow, pulling a laugh from both of them.

They de-tangled themselves from each other, and she ran a hand through her hair. “It’s getting late.” He nodded in agreement, although he never wanted this night to end. And then she continued, “Do you wanna, um— do you wanna stay the night? I’m sure I can find some comfy clothes that’ll fit you.”

He’d been a ship on a turbulent sea for the past two months, just barely staying afloat at times. It had been heart wrenching and nerve wracking and terrifying— and all of his own doing. And in one night, she’d anchored his vessel amongst the crashing waves. A solution kit, a hug, forgiveness, a kiss, and now this.

His racing mind came to a standstill. The near constant noise was quieted. The turbulent sea became calm, still waters.

“I’d really, really like that.”

…

Spencer ended up in an XXL t-shirt from a school fundraiser and a pair of stretchy bike shorts. Y/N had managed to scrounge up a new toothbrush from the back of the cabinet, and they brushed their teeth together with foamy smiles in the bathroom mirror.

It had taken very little convincing for Spencer to agree to share the bed. Y/N climbed in under the covers, settling back against the pillows and turning down the duvet for him to join her. He held up one finger and disappeared out into the living room, returning a minute later with the solution kit in hand. He moved to the bed, sliding in between the soft sheets and pulling up the duvet.

He leaned back against the pillows and turned toward her, opening the box. “This is the most incredible thing anyone has ever done for me,” he admitted. “Can you, um— explain them to me? Some of them I figured out, but others— well, I just want to hear you, really.”

She scooted closer to him and leaned over to look in the box. “The first few are pretty self-explanatory. This one,” she said, pulling out a picture of her with her hands over her heart and belly, “is taking deep breaths until you’re calm and ready to try again. This one is reading a favorite book— which I know will take you about five minutes,” she joked.

She retrieved the card with the clip art book, and then the one behind it with a pencil and paper. “You can try to write down the difficult thoughts and feelings to get them out of your headspace.” The next card had a picture of an old rotary phone. “Hmmm, almost a match to the dinosaur phone you actually have,” she teased. “But it’s an option to call someone. Could be your mom, or a friend, or—”

“Or you? Could I call you?”

She looked up to find his eyes on her and smiled. “Yeah. You can call me, too.” She pressed a soft kiss to his mouth, and— not for the first time that night— he could not believe how lucky he was.

She drew back to pull out the next card: a clip art rendering of a desktop computer. “Oh! This one is for researching something. I know you’ve got a seemingly endless encyclopedia of knowledge up there,” she tapped on his temple, “but there’s always something new to learn. And teaching yourself something can help you feel capable in moments where you’re feeling— a little helpless.”

There was also a small wooden puzzle cube in the box. She took it from the box and held it up in front of them. “I know your IQ will probably solve this thing in fifteen seconds, but at least it’ll be a nice fidget toy,” she laughed.

The last card in the box was a picture of a timer. “This one might seem kind of dumb, but sometimes it helps me to set a timer to remind myself that feeling shitty is a temporary state of being.” She held the card between her fingers and shrugged. “Even if I’m still feeling less than great after the timer goes off, it usually gives me the boost I need to move forward.”

She gathered all the cards in her hands, shuffling them and then placing them back in the box. “You can add your own options as you think of them. This was just a starter set.”

He closed the lid of the box and set it on the bed between them. He reached for her hand, and she immediately threaded their fingers together. He rubbed his thumb along her impossibly soft skin and took a deep breath.

“The timer isn’t dumb. I, um— I did something similar in prison.” She squeezed his hand. “I kept track of the— the days on this little spot on the wall. Every time it felt like I couldn’t take another day, I’d count the marks and remind myself that I— that I’d survived that long. That I could make it another day.”

He went quiet, and Y/N sat up a little in bed, brushed her free hand over his hair. “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“I want to.” It wasn’t a lie. He wanted to talk to her about it. He wanted to talk to her about everything. He wanted to let her into the shadowy corners of his mind that he kept from everyone else.

“If you’re sure, then I’m right here.” She pulled their intertwined fingers into her lap and leaned over to press a kiss to his shoulder.

When she pulled back, he let out a long breath. He watched her thumb as it traced an unwavering line across the back of his hand. “I was, um— I was in Mexico getting an experimental Alzheimer’s drug for my mom. I’d been going down there for a few months, and it wasn’t ideal, but the medication really seemed to be helping her. And I was just— I was desperate. Desperate for anything that would give me more time with her. More lucid, meaningful time, you know?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I do.”

“It wasn’t the, uh— drug that got me arrested,” he admitted. “There was an unsub— one of the serial killers that we put away a few years ago— a psychopathic, narcissistic hitwoman who had this— I don’t know, vendetta against me, I guess. She, um— she manipulated another woman into drugging me and framing me for the murder of the doctor I was getting the medication from.”

He could feel her eyes on him, and he drew his brows together. “I know the— the whole thing sounds completely absurd— fictional even,” he admitted. “She used a mix of drugs called sevoflurane and scopolamine to trigger dissociation and hallucination, which made it really— um... For a long time, I couldn’t tell which of my memories were real and which were drug-induced delusions.”

He focused on the motion of her thumb against his skin. “The team got me out of the prison in Mexico, but because I went against FBI protocol when I crossed the border, the Bureau wouldn’t fund my legal representation here. Emily hired a great lawyer, but the judge was less than sympathetic. And it really, um— snowballed from there.”

He took a deep breath. “I was sent to Millburn, which is a maximum security prison, and then I didn’t get the protective custody detail, so I was in general population, but I didn’t want to hurt people or move drugs, so I got the shit kicked out of me for a while, and then my friend Luis was killed in front of me, and I—”

Spencer didn’t realize he was crying until Y/N’s hands were on his face, wiping the tears before pulling him into her arms. “A-and then I poisoned the drugs, which just ended up hurting a bunch of people who didn’t deserve to get hurt. And then I got outed as an agent, and my mom got abducted, and I stabbed myself to get put in solitary, but I wasn’t safe there either, and I really thought... I was sure I was going to die there.”

He wrapped his arms around her middle and tucked his face into her shoulder as the hurricane of his agony swirled and raged and then swept out as quickly as it rolled in. She soothed his cries and held him against her, never rushing or shushing him. Eventually, his weeping dwindled to quiet sniffles, his heaving breaths faded to drawn sighs. She kept him anchored through all of it, rocking him gently from side to side and calming his shattered frame.

When he finally quieted, she released him and pulled back just enough to meet his eyes. His chest tightened at her tear-stained cheeks, and he brought his hands up to wipe at them uselessly. When his hands fell back to his lap, she sniffled a little before taking a deep breath, releasing it on a shaky sigh.

“The choices you made kept you alive, Spencer. They were— impossible, horrific choices that I’m sure just—” She shook her head, searching for the right words. “I’m sure the weight of the guilt and grief has to be unbearable sometimes,” she surmised. “And there’s nothing I can say that will make that any less true.”

She cupped his face in her hands, swiping at the fresh tears with her thumbs. “But I’m... I’m so selfishly thankful for every choice you made. Because it was the perfect set of decisions in that it brought you here. To me…” The tears tracked hot down her cheeks, and she took a shaky breath. “And I feel so unbelievably lucky and so incredibly grateful to have you.”

He had her wrapped up in his arms before she’d even finished the sentence. “I never believed in luck,” he mused. He pressed a kiss into her hair and closed his eyes. “I’m still not sure if I do. But I can tell you that I’m the luckiest.”

———

Permanent tags: @spacedikut @andiebeaword @averyhotchner @pinkdiamond1016 @shadyladyperfection @coffeeandendlesswords @justanothetfangirl @no-honey-no @ajeff855 @sapphic-prentiss @rexorangecouny @rainsong01 @blameitonthenight21 @moviequeen51 @90spumkin @reniescarlett @ncsls0515 @daybabyx @sturmmhond @takeyourleap-of-faith @saspencereid @calm-and-doctor @reidtheprettyboy @atabigail @ayo-cowbelly @muffin-cup @ssa-natalya-reid @wheelsup @reidingmelodies @this-is-gublerween @s1utformgg @reidemandweep @sonnydoesrandomshit @rigatonireid @luwheezey @joalsglasses @je-suis-prest-rachel @dr-omalley @spencie-adams @honestimanormalfan @blurryreid

Permanent (sfw) tags: @mrs-dr-reid @eevee0722 @goldentournesol

Series (x reader) tags: @uhuhuh @itsametaphorbriansblog @magenta145 @annesauriol @watermelongubler @ampal98 @mggsprettygirl @ceeellewrites @daybabyx @joalsglasses @chevyimpala00067 @misshale21 @ilzieah @froggybagels @gublersbooblers @matthcwgraygubler @mrs-dr-reid @flklrevrmre @andromedasstarship @reidspurplescarfs @hanniebee33 @nazdaniels @irisisonline @nazifa94 @elldell1204 @dorotheuh @outer-spacious

#spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid #homoose writes #lhalc #tmsidk

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jillianallen14 · 2 years

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Sirius Black was a DAMN good godfather

I came across a Tiktok that was talking about how Molly was wrong in her argument with Sirius in OOTP about whether or not Harry should have been kept in the loop (which is a take I agree with). However, in the comments, there were a slew of people saying things like, “No, Molly was right” and “Sirius just saw Harry as a replacement for James” and “Sirius was an unfit guardian.” I massively disagree with all of those statements and think they do a disservice to the beautiful relationship between Harry and Sirius that exists even outside of James. I’m going to articulate what I mean in a little essay for anyone who’s interested in reading it.

Sirius didn’t see Harry as a replacement for James. I think he saw pieces of James in Harry, sure. I also think he saw pieces of Lily in Harry, who he also knew well and loved. And, for that matter, I think he saw himself in Harry as well, which I’ll get to later in this essay. And maybe even a tiny little bit of Remus, too. But Harry wasn’t a replacement for James. Sirius had genuine paternal care for Harry, which he obviously had never had for James. In James & Sirius’s relationship, James was generally more of the care-taker. In Sirius’s relationship with Harry, however, he assumes a paternal role, and I can give some examples. For one, he lived off of rats in a cave simply to keep Harry safe & communicate with him. He usually did not encourage reckless behavior in Harry (do we remember in GOF when he got upset with Harry for going off on his own with Krum and told Harry not to sneak out to Hogsmeade to see him [Sirius]?) He was careful with Harry’s wellbeing & was generally very responsible with Harry’s life.

The one scene people always bring up when they accuse Sirius of confusing James and Harry is in OOTP when Sirius tells Harry that he doesn’t have as much of James in him as he thought he did. However, this moment is not an example of Sirius conflating Harry and James as the same person; instead, it’s a moment of Sirius trying to manipulate Harry into doing what Sirius wants him to do by way of using his father. This is terrible in and of itself, and is definitely the lowest point in Sirius and Harry’s relationship. However, it’s also worth mentioning that this is the only time Sirius ever does anything like this in the entirety of his relationship with Harry, and it’s also worth mentioning that Remus also does this exact thing in Deathly Hallows when he’s trying to convince Harry to let him tag along with them on their Horcrux quest. Harry says no, and Remus brings up the father card. Both Remus and Sirius figured out very quickly that Harry was insecure about wanting to be like his father, and in these scenes, they use that to their advantage. It’s terrible that they both do this, but I think it’s interesting that Remus never gets as much hate for doing it as Sirius does.

Sirius tells Harry how much like his father he is when Harry asks at other points in the books, but he doesn’t compare them, and he doesn’t act like Harry isn’t living up to Sirius’s expectations of who he thinks he should be. This is the only scene between the two of them where anything like that ever happens. It’s also worth mentioning the context surrounding this scene. Sirius is trying to manipulate Harry into meeting up with him despite the risk; Sirius is doing this because he is at his lowest point, incredibly lonely, and in a generally terrible mental state. He misses Harry, he’s worried about Harry, he wants to see him. Because of this, he makes a mistake, a mistake he never gets to atone for because he dies before he gets the chance. This scene is evidence of the complex and sometimes flawed relationship between Harry and Sirius, but it is not evidence of Sirius trying to use Harry as a replacement for his best friend.

I’ve made my case for why I believe Sirius never saw Harry as a replacement for James. Now, I’m going to make my case for why I think Sirius was actually a great parental figure for Harry.

In my opinion, Sirius is the person throughout the books who seems to most understand Harry. I think a large part of this comes from the fact that he and Harry are a lot alike. They are both reckless and fiercely loyal, they both came from abusive and dysfunctional homes, they both survived their upbringings by finding family in friendship (which they relied on in times of trouble), and they are both prone to anger and impulsivity and moodiness. They have both been outcasts, they distrust adults and authority figures and have a tendency to rebel or assert their own independence, they don’t like being told what to do, they’ve both been falsely accused of things (especially in OOTP), they’ve both had the oppressive weights of their family names (Potter and Black, respectively) as a looming shadow over them their whole lives. They both consistently feel as if they’re misunderstood (and sometimes they genuinely are misunderstood!). They are both struggling to deal with the same loss (James and Lily Potter), and they have both been seriously traumatized by the things they’ve experienced in their lives. Sirius has a revenge streak that Harry did not have when he was younger but does start to develop as he gets older. They are extremely similar characters, and I think Sirius sees this pretty clearly. And I think he sees this as both a good thing (because it allows him to better know how to help and support Harry) and a bad thing (because he hates the fact that his best friend’s kid ended up more like him than James). I think Sirius wishes Harry had more James in him but not because he wants his best friend back; he wishes Harry had more James in him because James was far happier and more loved and more well adjusted than Sirius and Harry could ever be. He wants Harry to have that, too. Personally, I think Harry has more Sirius in him than he has James or Lily. They could relate to each other and understand each other in a way that has nothing to do with James and everything to do with who they are as individuals. Harry was not just James’s kid; he was Sirius’s godson.

This mutual understanding leads to many instances in the books where Sirius really truly does understand what’s best for Harry and how best to parent him. In OOTP when Sirius finds out about Harry leading the DA meetings, he reacts with pride. Sirius understood Harry well enough to know that there was no way he would sit back and not practice defense, and he understood that chastising him would do nothing but alienate him. So instead, he chooses to support Harry and to be a resource, should Harry need help or advice. Earlier in OOTP, he understands that if Harry is not kept in the loop and told about what’s going on, he will find his own answers and will react recklessly (because it’s exactly what Sirius would do & Sirius understands how similar he and Harry are), which is what sparks his argument with Molly. Unfortunately, Sirius ends up being completely right about this, which he pays for with his life. Sirius allows Harry his independence, while also being a solid and dependable (well, as dependable as he could be, given the circumstances) support system for Harry.

Harry goes to Sirius about everything. When he has girl troubles, he wants to go to Sirius about it. When his scar hurts, he tells Sirius. When he has troubling dreams, he tells Sirius. When he is terrified in GOF, he goes to Sirius. When he’s fighting with Ron, he goes to Sirius. When he’s worried about whether he’s actually a good person, he goes to Sirius. Sirius is exactly the kind of figure Harry needed in his life because he had no other adults who could fulfill that role for him. And Sirius cultivated that relationship specifically by being trustworthy, by sometimes treating Harry more like a brother or a friend than a son, by treating Harry like his own person, by being the kind of authority figure that Harry could truly and genuinely trust. A lot of this came from Sirius and Harry’s innate similarities and mutual understanding of one another, but a lot of this also came from Sirius genuinely being a good parental figure to Harry. He made mistakes, but most of the time, he understood what was best for Harry more than any other adult, besides perhaps Remus and occasionally Arthur. He wanted to protect Harry, but he did so in a way that wouldn’t alienate Harry. And most importantly, he listened to Harry, respected Harry, never treated Harry like his property, and truly considered Harry’s POV.

Sirius was 21 (almost 22) when James and Lily died. He was young, he was immature, he was single (in canon; my headcanon is that he was in a relationship with Remus), he was not ready for the responsibility of taking on a kid. Yet when James and Lily died, he begged Hagrid to let him take Harry. It was his first thought. He didn’t know the first thing about being a dad, but he was willing to step up to the plate, both to honor the commitment he made to James and Lily and also because of the genuine love he had for Harry. This was his godson; he knew this kid, he had held this kid, he had probably played with and babysat him. He was probably ecstatic when James and Lily had a kid that he could love and cherish and be a good, loving adult figure for, the kind he didn’t have when he was Harry’s age. He wanted to give Harry the loving upbringing he never had, even as he dealt with the immense grief of losing two of his best friends at the hands of one of his other best friends. He didn’t decide at 21 that he was willing to take on the immense responsibility of being a single parent simply because of a commitment he made to James. He did it for Harry, too. When he was denied, he did the next best thing he could - keep Harry safe by accosting the man who killed his parents, a man he knew would get away if he didn’t because the authorities didn’t know he could turn into a rat.

Sirius was not perfect, but he was always up for the task, no matter how daunting that task was. He was not a perfect parental figure, but my god, did he try. And you know what? He was pretty damn successful most of the time. I’m tired of people acting like Molly was such a better and more responsible parental figure for Harry when in reality, she barely knew Harry. Yes, she treated Harry very well and took care of him, and I am not trying to hate on Molly; she was an important figure in Harry’s life, too. But it’s true that she barely actually knew Harry, and she certainly didn’t understand him.

Sirius did the best he could with the time and circumstances he was given, and frankly, he did a beautiful job. If my best friends died at 21 and their child had nowhere else to go, I’d hope I’d be even half as willing to care for their child as Sirius was when it came to caring for Harry. I’m two weeks away from turning 22, about the age Sirius was when he lost the people he loved most in this world, and I can’t imagine being willing to take on a whole ass child in addition to my grief. He doesn’t get enough credit for the amazing job he did as a godfather to Harry.

tl;dr: Sirius did not see Harry as a replacement for James and, actually, he understood that Harry was much more like him than he was like James, which made him the perfect parental guardian for Harry because he could understand Harry in a way no other adults could. He did the best he could with the time and circumstances he was given, and his relationship with Harry was beautiful.

#sirius black #marauders #harry potter #james potter #lily potter #lily evans #molly weasley #order of the phoenix #OOTP #harry potter and the order of the phoenix #goblet of fire #GOF #remus lupin

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loverofallthingssarah · 3 years

Text

In the garden, we meet again

Synopsis: Billie is dating Delia's daughter and Y/n wants to tell her mom that they are dating.

WARNING: none

Word count: 1.4K

A/N: sorry for any mistakes

You see Billie Dean Howard make her way to your mom, Cordelia Goode, in the greenhouse as she normally does every Saturday morning. Your mom and Billie usually spend their Saturday afternoons gossiping and drinking tea. What your mom doesn’t know is after Billie leaves, you sneak out to go see Billie. For the last three months, Billie and you have been in a relationship. At first, you thought we were just messing around but a week ago when Billie told you she loved you for the first time. The feeling of pure joy and happiness hadn’t left your body since that night, but you knew you both had a hard decision to make.

“Hey, mom! Hi, Billie!” You say as you walk into the greenhouse and see them sitting at a patio table your mom put in for tea time with Billie. You walk closer to them and you notice Billie’s gaze grazing your body and you shiver in excitement.

“Hi sweetie, do you want to join Billie and me for tea?” Your mom asks politely and you nod as you scoot a chair closer to Billie.

Billie and Delia start gossiping about what’s been going on in their lives since their last Saturday tea and you sit there watching Billie’s lips move with conversation. Your eyes are glued to the tip of her tongue with each articulation. This didn’t go without notice to Billie and you feel her hand wrap around your thigh as she smirks while continuing the conversation with ease. You choke on your tea immediately at Billie’s boldness.

“Sweetheart, are you okay?” Your mom asks while reaching around patting your back.

“Yes, princess, are you okay?” Billie smirks. You roll your eyes as you start to recover, “y-yeah, I’m f-fine… but I think I-I’m going to go inside now. I hope you two have fun.”

“Oh we certainly will princess, but I hope to see you later,” Billie winks, “before I head home, of course.”

You head inside bypassing all the other witches until you make it into your room. Laying on the bed you think about how you’re going to have to sneak away with Billie tonight and lie to your mom. The realization of how much that sucks for her hurts you a bit and you know you have to discuss this with Billie. Hours pass as you just think more and more about the situation you’re in and how much you love and respect your mom and Billie. You’ve already made a decision but now you’ve got to tell Billie. It’s time to tell your mom about the relationship between you both, even if your mom had a hard time at first you knew she would eventually come around.

One thing to note about your mom, the supreme, is that her greatest accomplishment was being your mother. She would do anything and everything to give you the best life possible. If she knew Billie truly made you happy, she would accept it… you hoped. You hear your phone buzz, and you notice you have a text from Billie, ‘Delia and I just finished tea, transmute to my car, and let’s head home, princess.’ It gave you butterflies every time Billie referred to her house as your home, ‘Okay, baby. I’ll be right there.’

Quickly grabbing your things, you transmute to Billie Dean’s black Lexus, “My, my princess, how I missed you…”

“Miss Billie Dean Howard, you are quite the charmer aren’t you,” you say in an exaggerated New Orleans accent. You both burst out laughing as Billie pulls her car onto the road.

Billie and I pull up to her house. We go inside and sit on her plush couch to cuddle. I look over at her, “Billie… I think it’s time we tell my mom.”

“I don’t think that's a good idea, babydoll. She wouldn’t like what we have together. I love your mom. She is one of my dearest friends, and I don’t want to ruin either one of our relationships with her, y/n,” Billie explains thoughtfully.

“Baby, I understand your concerns, but I can’t keep lying to my mom about us. I can’t. She deserves more than that… from both of us,” you plead to Billie.

“No, I’m not telling your mom. End of story,” Billie says as if she is the only one to make decisions in this relationship. “You can’t just make those decisions by yourself, Billie. We are in a relationship and we have to talk about this. You can’t just cut me off and shut me out.”

“I’m not telling her, Y/n,” Billie answers again sternly. “Billie, be serio-,” you try to get out, “No, y/n. Absolutely not.”

You get up and start to grab my things and pack them up, Billie asks, “What are you doing, princess?”

“I’m going home,” you say curtly as you zip up your bag. Billie looks at you confused, “what, why?”

“Because I’m not going to keep sneaking around my mom like this. She deserves more than that and not just that, Billie. Because my mom can’t know about us, it's like the rest of the world can’t know about us, and I’m through with that. I… we… deserve more than that. So, until you figure out where your priorities lie, I’ll be at the academy. Come find me when you’re ready to be brave,” and without a second look, you transmute back to the coven to a cold and empty bed.

Weeks passed and you hadn’t heard from Billie, and you were avoiding her every Saturday when she was over. You weren’t hurt and a little embarrassed and just wasn’t ready to face her. Billie was due to be over in a few minutes and so you stood up from your stool in the greenhouse to make your way inside, your mom stopped you, “Sweetheart, I have to run out to pick up some things and I need you to keep Billie company until I get back, okay?”

“Mom, I really don’t think that a good ide-,” she interrupts you, “Perfect, thank you so much, Y/n. I’ll be back soon.”

You huff as you take your original seat as you wait for Billie to arrive, and soon enough you hear the familiar click of your Jimmy Choos.

“Oh, hi princess,” Billie says delicately as she sees you instead of Delia. “My mom just told me to keep you company while she ran errands. I didn’t really have much choice.”

Time passes slowly in silence, until, “Can we please talk, y/n? These past few weeks have been torture. I miss you, dearly,” Billie whispers out. “Billie I still feel the same way,” you say but Billie interjects, “I’m ready.”

“What?” you question. “I’m ready to tell, Delia. I’m ready to be brave, for you… for us…,” Billie says gently. You smile brightly, which ignites Billie’s pearly grin, “I love you, Y/n.” Billie pulls you closer to her as you reply with a simple, “I love you too.” Before you know it Billie's lips are attached to yours in the most passionate yet gentle kiss. You both are lost in the moment until you hear, “Looky here.”

You recognize the voice and your blood runs cold, “Mom?” Billie tenses as she realizes you’ve been caught, “Delia, I-.”

“Save it,” your mom says. You brace yourself for her to start yelling and freaking out but that never comes, “Did you both really think I was that oblivious to you two? I’ve known since the very beginning. Neither one of you are that sneaky, especially you Billie. I notice those touches, which I expect to stop when I’m around. And you, Y/n, you are my daughter. There is not one thing you do that I don’t know about.”

“Mom? You’re okay with this?” you question as Billie’s hand squeezes yours. “Well, at first it confused me a little. I’m not super happy with the age difference nor the fact you are my daughter and Billie is my best friend, but I’ve accepted the fact that you both make each other happy. And that’s all I can really ask for.”

You jump for joy and rush to your mom and pull her into a bear hug, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“Be careful, princess or you’re going to break her, “ Billie says and you all chuckle. “But really, thank you, Delia. I really do love Y/n and I’m thrilled to know you’re accepting of you,” she whispers out to your mom as she comes closer to pull us all in a hug. “Of course, I love you both. Now, how about some tea?”

sfw taglist: @orchid-fairy @rainbow-hedgehog @twistedpoeticjustice @tissaias-lover @peggycarter-steverogers @magnificent-paulsonn @mrsdeanhoward @citizenoftheworld-stuff-blog @commanderspeach @lanawinters-ily @lntlmate @sapphicforsarahh @talulahmae @billiedeansgirl @dreamypqulson @goodeday2u

#billie dean howard imagine #billie dean howard x reader #billie dean howard #sarah paulson x reader #sarah paulson imagine #sarah paulson #wlw imagine #ahs murder house #ahs hotel #ahs apocolaypse

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