#I’m SUPER normal about her

[cherry-blossomtea]

Saileach second operator record Jane Willow you are not a person you are a symbol Jane Willow you have blood on your hands you can never wash clean Jane Willow nothing you do will ever be enough Jane Willow all you can do is stand strong and hope that’s enough to provide comfort to other people Jane Willow you do not have the luxury of personal freedom by choice and by duty.

No one ever even seems to treat her as a person with agency in these stories, she’s just running back and forth trying to make sure everyone is safe and all right, sacrificing blood and tears for them, and all they ever have to say to her is look how beautiful you are look how strong you are look how perfect you are. All she can really do is keep trying to be the person they want her to be. Jane Willow you’re a flag bearer and you’ll be a symbol until the day you die.

#AND SHE DOES IT WITHOUT BITTERNESS AND ALWAYS WITH A SMILE #WHATEVER THEY ASK OF HER #I’m SUPER normal about her #arknights #her stories are about her being fucking exhausted #but pushing on because that’s what people need of her #she’s never given the luxury of a choice that only affects herself

[anna-scribbles]

h-how do you ever finish any of your work? genuine question because you seem to be productive despite your agreste syndrome and I need to learn your ways. but also how do you ever finish any of your work

unclear. last night i stayed up and finished a report worth 25% of my grade at about 5am, arrived on time for my 9am lecture, and spent about half of it zoned out while thinking about seventeen year old emilie agreste. and i was one of the most active participants in the class discussion

#in some ways it IS the move to go to grad school right out of undergrad #because your body can still sort of operate like a college kid #i’m on about 3ish hours of sleep rn and this morning it felt SO over but now i’ve eaten something and we’re so back #i also don’t really do caffeine. except sometimes i’ll go get one of those panera death lemonades #i might be able to snag a short nap before work #but anyway about seventeen year old emilie. i was thinking abt how she was in that movie solitude and adrien said she was seventeen #WAIT. NO. HE SAID SHE WAS SEVENTEEN IN THAT PHOTO ON HIS DESKTOP NOT IN THE MOVIE #well. okay whatever i’m gonna tell you what i was thinking about anyway #OKAY i’m back i just checked the wikipedia page and then i watched the end of gorizilla. to make sure i’m not lying. because i’m normal. #anyway i was thinking about the solitude film and how it’s super rare and old and obscure and whatever. and how apparently #emilie wrote it herself and andre produced it #and i’m thinking about how gabe was discovered by audrey and that’s how he got his start in the fashion industry #so now i’m like?? did gabe and emilie first meet on the set of solitude? because gabe was designing costumes or whatever? #and that’s how audrey found him? have people already thought about this?? #also i just checked and it doesn’t say emilie’s last name in the credits and also it’s ‘graham films’ with the twin rings logo m #so i’m assuming she’s still emilie graham de vanily at that point #anyway it comes back to seventeen year old emilie because i started imagining seventeen year old runaway emilie having her new life in pari #after escaping her british nobility life #and the first thing she does is write and star in an original movie. of course. #and she meets this repressed bisexual punk upstart costume designer who is so the opposite of everyone she’s ever known #and he’s immediately so unhealthily obsessed with her. which she appreciates. #and then they proceed to have the most toxic doomed evil relationship of all time #also she gets cheated because once gabe gets money he represses himself SO hard that he is now exactly like all the people emilie grew up w #but at least he’s still obsessed with her #this is what i was thinking about during class today. i don’t know how i get anything done either. #ml #anna rambles #asks

[pianokantzart]

#I’m so normal about her #‘The Wicked Grape’ pLEASE Nintendo she deserves a better name than that #my 1 criticism #smb direct #super Mario brothers #princess peach game #princess peach: showtime

[hallwyeoo]

Ellie’s memory of the golfing scene and what it tells us about her.

🚨spoilers for tlou2🚨

I think Ellie’s flashback to Joel’s death is very telling of how she internalized the event and the meaning she applied to his death. It’s also a good demonstration of her relationship to autonomy. Let’s break down the elements that were inconsistent with the actual event:

The stairs/hallway are much longer than they were. This suggests a sense of helplessness, an inability to get there fast enough. Joel is constantly out of reach.

There is blood on the floor outside of the door. Not entirely certain on this one but my hunch is that she blames herself for not seeing more obvious signs of violence/not knowing something was wrong sooner.

The door is locked, another roadblock in her path to Joel. She can’t access him, she can’t help, he needs her and she isn’t there.

Most importantly. Joel yells “Ellie, help me” (which he didn’t in the actual scene, he just screams. He doesn’t say a word in the actual scene)

Ellie hearing Joel scream for her help, calling for her while being horribly beaten, and her being repeatedly impeded on her way to him suggests that what she took away from his death is that she wasn’t enough. They always helped each other, always had each others backs, always got up. Ellie views his death as a failure. She was too slow, too weak, not smart enough to save him. She failed him when he needed her most. She is absolutely helpless to save him, just like she was helpless to save Riley, Tess, Sam, and Jessie (and Marlene, and humanity, and and and-).

Once again, Ellie makes a decision (staying with Riley, going to the fireflies, staying with Joel, being the cure, trying to forgive Joel) and once again her autonomy and ability to find closure is ripped from her.

This is the inciting incident of tlou pt2, this is the moment where Ellie’s whole world shatters the same way Joel’s did at the start of pt1. Ellie enters into the same cycle (which I like to call the “Joel cycle” because… yeah.) that he did, and throughout pt2 she stays in the “20 years later” phase of the cycle. She is changed, she has lost her light, lost what she fought for. She lost her chance to genuinely forgive Joel and rebuild their relationship. She is stuck in a gruelling and violent world that she has no anchor in, at least not anymore. His death is so sudden and so incredibly violent that it practically gave her (and me as well, tbh) whiplash. She’s in a state of total shock.

On another devastating note, this is one of the three times in tlou that we see Ellie beg (that I remember). The first is begging Joel to get up at the university of Eastern Colorado, the second is begging him to get up and for Abby to stop, and the third is begging Abby to not kill Dina because she’s pregnant. (Two times she begs Joel to get up, one time he doesn’t. Two times she begs Abby to spare her family and one time she does. What a beautifully haunting contrast)

To wrap up, every person creates an internal narrative, a story of their life that is crafted from their context and lived experiences. The meaning we derive from those experiences doesn’t always reflect the truth, and that can sometimes bite us in the ass majorly when we experience a traumatic event. We tend to want to find someone or something to assign blame to, some reason or rationale to why it happened. We tell stories. We write them in our minds about ourselves and what happens to us and what that says about us.

But Ellie is wrong. Joel’s death happened in response to a conscious and willing choice he made. It is in no way her fault, and there was absolutely no way for her to know or to stop what was happening. I think Ellie knows that much on an intellectual level, It just doesn’t change how devastated she is over the whole event. It can’t change the fact that she FEELS as though this was all her fault, that Joel did what he did to save her, that she could have saved him. That she should have.

#this isn’t a new thought #like I’m p much just stating what happened in the game #this is not some super deep meta analysis of tlou #it’s just. #Ellie’s relationship to autonomy is so so so good #ellie the last of us #joel the last of us #ellie williams #joel miller #tlou series #tlou show #tlou1 #tlou spoilers #tlou analysis #I have SO MANY drafts that are like. walls of text #we’re talking Great Wall of China long #tlou2 #marlene the last of us #marlene tlou #basically what I said in previous posts about how ellie picked up Joel’s stoic attitude and emotional constipation. #ellie’s screams lolol. my heart breaking in real time. #joel goes golfing HD!!! #the way her voice breaks as she begs… OWIE #Neil druckmann needs to pay for my therapy fr!! #I edited this because it had some… really bad grammatical errors #syntax??? what’s that???? #anyway normally I don’t put much thought or effort into my actual wording of Tumblr posts #because like maybe 10 people will see it. who cares. #but this one is one I actually care a bit about and this whole thing could be written about in so much more depth. #so I went in and tried to clean it up a bit and added some thoughts.

[carpetbug]

guys. I kinda wish adrien had been akumatized in season 5 in the short periods he wore an alliance (or ephemeral type shit where Gabriel fuckin breaks him solely to akumatize him) and had been given the essence of the miraculous of the dragon. THE MIRACULOUS OF THE DRAGON. THE MIRACULOUS OF PERFECTION. AKUMATIZED ADRIEN WITH THE MIRACULOUS OF PERFECTION. and it’s not from Maribug! if it had been the ACTUAL miraculous from the actual guardian, it ties back to her, it almost functions as a connection between them two. but when it’s only the essence it leads back to Gabriel! It’s another way his father is holding him under his thumb, pulling all the strings of his life and just having complete control over Adrien. so yeah i need dragon!akumadrien content and i need it now

#carpetbug talks #i don’t know man I just want the show to do something with adrien and the dragon miraculous #THERE IS A WHOLE THEME! AN ENTIRE ASPECT OF ADRIENS EXISTENCE IS THE IDEA OF PERFECTION #AS A SENTI #AS A SON #AS A MODEL #there’s even like. a perfection to chat blanc? the whole concept of white representing purity and gabriel’s whole fucking thing with it in 5 #and him being one of the most powerful akumas??? he is the PERFECT akuma not because he actually succeeded but because he was such powerful #enemy! in terms of both actual physical fight but also emotional! he BROKE a part of marinette! #she has NIGHTMARES ABOUT HIM. IT FUCKS WITH HER AND CHATS RELATIONSHIP #THAT IS WHAT GABRIEL WANTS. THATS THE IDEA OF A PERFECT AKUMA #one that defeats his enemy? oh that would be awesome. one that eats away at his enemy and tears them apart emotionally? shit dude that’s #PERFECT #GRAEARAGAEAAFEAFAAF #anyways i’m super normal about akumadrien and akumanette #akumadrien #akumanette #sorry y’all these tags kinda turned into chat blanc brain rambles

[ssreeder]

AHHHH ssreedeeer,

thank you so much for the new chapter, I have been longing for it for so long and it did not disappoint (just like always your writing never disappoints!( I know I’m a bootlicker but i mean it!!))

I loved how nosy Katara was this chapter, it’s annoying but really fun ( and realistic tbh)

I already can’t wait for the next chapter!

Oh man if you liked nosy Katara last chapter ,you’re going to enjoy this next one.

#Things escalate quite a bit lol #Katara is just so normal about thjngs #& she’s like super good at minding her own business #Like REALLY GOOD at it hahha #She’s probably been my favorite to write these last two chapters #Jet is up there too he has a not giving a fuck while also giving a fuck swag I appreciate #Tophs back too which of course is super fucking fun #Anywayyy I’m excited haha #Thanks for the ask anon #YOURE FUCKING AMAZINNGGGF #liab #ITF #Ask

[theshadowrealmitself]

Nurse: *calls for me using my given name I have on file*

Me: Oh! I’m here!

Nurse: Oh wow, I was expecting a [different gender]!

Me: Ah, ha ha 👀 imagine that

#that’s interesting to me tho because no one has commented on what my given name sounds like #she was super nice tho #v talkative #normally I’m rushed through appointments quickly but she was telling me all about her family and asking about my sister cause I mentioned #that I was going to see her #v nice experience if I wasn’t low key panicking waiting for some kind of transphobia #but no she was nice #didn’t realize why my name was like that #or if she figured it out from my file she didn’t say anything #no fandom #I have one more obligation today and then I’m free for the week while I pack!!

[starrytalking]

Recently I was at a meet-up-thing for a-spec people and one of the older ones who organise these meet-ups said in the course of a conversation “well I’m ace and whatever sort of attraction I might feel every time a full moon aligns with the bloom of a special flower won’t shake my understanding of myself, I’m secure enough in who I am to not let that shatter my picture of myself” (that was a very loose quote but I think u get what she meant). And I just found it so funny cause she said it like it was a ridiculous thought to herself, that something small like that could impact herself so much because she’s obviously very at piece and secure with and in her asexuality and while I’m also quite sure of myself in that regard nowadays, there was a long period of time where a random maybe-attraction could definitely make myself question my whole sexuality all over again so that ridiculous thought was and in parts still is a reality to me. And I think this really beautifully shows how self-discovery is a process that we’re all taking at our own pace but that can “end” at some point where we can still be open to new feelings and realisations but where we can have found a way to self-identify that makes us be secure in who we are and where the path of self-discovery is less a daily shattering of our perception of ourselves and more a stable ground we can be free to make new experiences on.

#starrytalking #just to be clear she obviously spoke about her own experiences and I’m pretty sure she didn’t mean to invalidate anyone who would be really #unsettled after experiencing something that makes them going into questioning all over again #also that wasn’t the main topic of that conversation it just briefly came up #and I found it funny in what different stages of questioning and self-identification we are #so it was funny but also cool to see how open she is about her asexuality and how safe she feels in it #like the older people at this meet up honestly make me so emotional because I’m not even out to most people I know and these people are out #there living their lives and being openly ace and organising meet-ups and holding speeches and being in YouTube videos #it’s honestly so so cool to see that!!! and that’s exactly why representation matters! because it makes me believe that asexuality is real #and that my feelings are normal and valid which is super helpful at times where my head tries to tell me that it’s all just on the internet #which isn’t true but it kinda feels like it but with these meet-ups and friends of mine also being aspec and storylines like Isaacs in #Heartstopper I can feel more secure of that :))) #asexual #ace #aroace #aspec #lgbtq+ #queer #thoughts #representation matters #self discovery

[lesless]

I really feel absolutely normal until like the day after socializing a lot & then I begin to reflect & start to think that my friend’s autistic girlfriend might have been right about me being a little autistic lmaoooo

#me #I don’t think the benefits outweigh the trouble of getting assessed #but I will say I’ve taken the diagnostic quiz more than a few times & scored higher than I expected #it’s in key areas mostly but maybe I don’t see how I’m coping in other ways #extremely touch sensitive & can’t wear synthetics #I can touch a shirt & accurately guess the fabric content #I do dishes & cleaning with organic rubber gloves on #I take things super literally #I have a mental list of social shortcuts so I can interact more seamlessly #a histamine intolerance #I love routines #I carry earplugs bc I can’t handle loud noises #but mostly I notice my differences when I socialize a lot #& when I don’t socialize seamlessly I get a lot of anxiety about how I communicate or the information I share #as though if I have enough data points I can ‘fix’ how I interact with others #which is not a concept that I think a lot of people worry about?? #maybe they do?? #everything went well yesterday but I still caught myself analyzing my interactions #like I’m preparing for the next mission lol #idk IS that normal? what do you think?? #basically I met her & out of nowhere she asked me if I am autistic #I said I didn’t know #she was quiet for a few moments watching me wash dishes #& then she said ‘you are autistic’ #lol peer reviewed #oh and I LOVE TO ORGANIZE INFORMATION!! #it’s like my favorite thing to do

[csswingandeasy]

…

#I SAW FUCKING M TONIGHT #went to college town for a concert #i was fine i was fine i’m fine #i had a mini heart attack when i saw her walking in and then i shook in my seat for like ten minutes and then talked to her in intermission #relieved to find that she’s actually really fucking weird and awkward so the horribleness of our time knowing each other was only #50% me being fucking insane about her and 50% her being super awkward #fucking fuck what the fuck fuuuuck #it’s been like 4 years #i moved seats after the intermission to sit closer to the mixer #and i could see her looking for me in my old seat and talking to her wife about me ugh shut up shut up shut up me #it’s fine look at me i can be normal now. i’m normal now see #m #btw mj never emailed me back from like three weeks ago and i’m fiiiiiiiine about her too #mj

[zorua-adorable]

hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia hortensia

#my posts #fire emblem engage #fe hortensia #don’t mind me‚ i’m just going a lil insane #i’m SO normal about her #for my tagging system: #fire emblem #engage #hortensia (my super cute pink daughter)

[samuraijackpostdump]

I miss Jack

#samurai jack #I get so excited when i see fun bloggers abt samurai jack bc most of the people still involved here are the opposite of chill and normal #I’m stuck here between ppl dressing jack up like princess leia (w very uh. Not Racially Sensitive style stories??) #the proshippers that are shipping Aku with fucking Blossom Powerpuff Girl #(sorry to bring up proshipper term it’s just the term they use to describe themselves) #the Johnny Bravo shippers (generally the most tolerable but also the ones frequently doing the ‘sex servant’ stories :/) #and the people that think Aku needs a redemption arc and should be shipped with whoever they lay eyes on #and every now and then an Ashi and Jack super fan will emerge to talk about Jack and her fucking and it’s almost a breath of fresh air #like those guys (the ones that are always like ‘we won deal w it stinky anti shippers’ despite no one saying anything to them) #are annoying but I’ll take the normalcy of that compared to what the tag has become 😭😭😭 #does anyone here care about the story…. the art…. Jack himself…. hello….

[unnyboib]

Told my therapist Sun Wukong was “just a silly little guy” and she looked at me like I was crazy

#her only prior knowledge of him is what I had said prior #which was ‘I’m hyper fixated on him right now’ #and ‘he’s from an ancient Chinese novel and is something adjacent to a deity of chaos’ #or she said she didn’t know who that was she might’ve just said that so I could talk about him #monkey king #monkie king #sun wukong #I’m super normal about him

[diabolicjoy]

.

#warning there’s too many typos but who cares #i’m always complaining to myself in my head about how me & my best friend have grown apart #we’ve spent all out teenage years doing everything together even though we weren’t from the same school #we’d still find ways to see each other if not every day then at least every month #& since she started college & then a relationship & then work we’ve just grown apart & it was embarrassing for me really because i was alwa #ys the depressed never busy always alone type & i always ended up felt clingy when asking to hang out #feeling* #specially because she’s a social butterfly & i’m the one who has social anxiety lol but it was always reassuring to have her by my side #during these social events #then the pandemic happened & after things went back to normal.. i can actually count on my finger how many times we’ve seen each other irl #also stopped texting each other which is an important detail considering we used to talk every single day #especially because she’s like. literally the only person i feel comfortable opening up abt things i wouldn’t tell anyone #so i just feel isolated & a bit lost in life without her presence in it... but i’m just a very insecure human & always feel like the plans #& little dates & things i come up & plan for us to do is just... super boring to her (or anyone else) #so i stopped trying completely. which is sad because i miss her immensely #but last november i went to a festival with some friends but felt super stressed on the first day but tried to hide it from everyone #because i don’t wanna ruin the whole trip by being moody so i just kept to myself #ended up feeling overwhelmed & on day2 of the festival we txt each other bc she’s gonna be there #so i just spent the entire day2 with her & her partner & we all had such an amazing time... it really revitalized me lol #& everything felt so familiar even though i hadn’t seen her since her bday in may.. #& idk i just missed her. i always felt like this lack of talking & seeing each other just meant that they didnt like me as a friend anymore #or that i wasn’t worth keeping around... idk i’m always expecting the worse which is so unfair to the other person #i know she loves me & that life happens #anyway all that to say that i decided to stop being a pussy & stop mopping around #crying abt how i’m alone & friendless. & like. just text them & invite invite them to see a movie or something #idk if it didn’t work our 2 years ago life happens i am trying again #i won’t find someone like them that easily again in life i think

[lieutenant-amuel]

Hmm one day I’ll have to figure out my characters’ MBTI types.

#Personal #To be fair I’m super interested in this topic but #I’m just not sure my typing will be objective enough because most of them got their types on the very early stages of my writing x) #Anyway for now I’m sticking with Valerio being an ENFJ or ESFJ #He’s clearly a Fe dom user but honestly I’m not sure about his auxiliary function #I mean he might seem dwell into his past but he’s rather ignoring it which is why it can’t let him live a normal life #Hmm does it mean he’s in the Fe-Ne loop? #Like he tries to find different possibilities for having a bright future #but since he doesn’t rely on one of his main functions (Si) it doesn’t work out #Wait it does make sense #Akajjdkfm but I want him to be an ENFJ #I’ll need to think about it deeper someday #Okay so Ángel is clearly an ESFP and Frida is either an INFJ or INTJ #Matías seems like a Ti dom user because in his and Valerio’s duo he’s the one who always holds a braincell so he’s an ISTP #Emilio is an INTJ and he seems to be in the Ni-Fi loop #Verónica hmmmm ENTP maybe? #To be fair I barely know anything about her so I really don’t know XD #But she’s creative and can think objectively which does sound like NeTi I think #And INTJ and ENTP are the perfect match :D #As for Leticia I need to write her more often to figure it out but for now I think of her as an ENFP #And Gabe himself is an ESTJ #Wait wait wait wait coming back to Valerio’s MBTI #He does seem to be in the Fe-Se loop as well considering how much he cares about what other people will say about his scars #Like he cares about his image A LOT and wants others to perceive him as a wise and kind Señor Álvarez even though he’s not really is #And he tries to distract himself from his dark thoughts and memories via the sensory world which is kinda why he became a teacher #He just HAD to do something so he wouldn’t lose his mind #Plus the main thing about his arc is not accepting his past (although it’s still a big part of it) #but rather finding a true purpose in his life which is not teaching actually #Anyway Valerio clearly can’t be in both loops at the same time it’s just me trying to figure out his actual type aksjdmkf #But idk I might be biased but him being an ENFJ sounds more realistic because really he never used Si even when he’s not under stress

[butididntpourthewhiskeys]

https://twitter.com/jasrifootball/status/1704918750527373813 👀👀👀 interesting so him and Taylor are def talking

I feel like we’re missing the context of what he said but it’s interesting how he seems to not give a fuck that people are talking

#I kinda like how normal he is about it #and I’m sure T thinks so too #he seems super chill about this circus #I was saying to a mutual earlier #the way he deals with this media frenzy will be the first test for her #I’m sure