#I’m headed out for thanksgiving! it’s going to be a crazy week

[thewintersoldierdisaster]

a/n: a quick little something that i couldn’t stop thinking about so i had to write it. the final hockey fic of the year and it feels fitting that it’s barzy after all the love you gave me on the last one. there’ll be more to come with this little family so join me for the ride in 2024! happy new year, all! 🫶🏻

word count: 3.4k

tw: super brief innuendo, vague mention of bad birth experience, brief mention of negative body image

summary: you and mat bring talia to meet santa at the islanders family holiday skate

You hum along to the Christmas song playing on the Alexa speaker, dancing and making silly face at Talia so she’ll laugh while you’re getting her ready instead of freaking out. “Santa, baby, slip a sable under the tree,” you croon in an off-key, over the top voice, “for meeee.”

She giggles, displaying the one and a half teeth she has popping out of her bottom gums. You bicycle her legs on the changing table, making quick work of her diaper change. “So, what are we thinking for the fit today, Miss T?” You tickle her bare tummy and blow a little raspberry on her skin, making her shriek with laughter again. “Oooh, I just love that sound.”

It’s two weeks before Christmas, Talia’s first, and you’re getting ready to head over to Northwell for the Islanders’ family holiday party. You’re excited to have Talia meet Santa and skate with her and Mat. The house is decorated, you’re speeding along to the actual holiday, and Talia’s being the sweetest baby. It’s wild to think that this time last year you were telling Mat about your pregnancy and after the craziness of the last few months of your pregnancy and Talia’s birth, you’re finally feeling more normal and less anxious about doing something wrong.

“Maybe a dress,” you lift the seven-month-old onto your hip and wander over to her closet, where all the clothes are color cordinated, thanks to Liana’s Thanksgiving visit. You flip through the tiny clothes, the little hangers clacking against the rack. Talia bounces on your hip, kicking her feet and you’re convinced that you have a permanent bruise on your ass cheek from where her little heel constantly makes contact. “Or how about the little plaid jumpsuit from Auntie Syd?”

Talia giggles and yanks at your hair. You wince and take your hand away from the jumpsuit. “Okay, maybe not the jumpsuit. I’m thinking red velvet dress for Santa and something warmer for skating, what to you think, Talia Bee?”

You continue to narrate your actions while you pick out the little red velvet dress that you’d been unable to resist when you went to the Americana a few weeks ago. It’s so soft and you know Talia, with her dark hair and light eyes, is going to look like a Christmas angel. She’s the perfect mix of you and Mat, with Mat’s coloring, and you just want to spend your time staring at her and cuddling her, especially because you hadn’t been able to hold her right away after her early birth. Emotion clogs your throat as you think about those scary first days and weeks, and you make the effort to push those emotions away, kissing the baby on her forehead. “Okay, mama’s being silly,” you murmur. “Let’s get you ready.”

Talia’s decked out in her little tights and the dress, kicking her feet happily, hands fisting the soft velvet fabric of her dress. You brush her shock of dark hair off her forehead, tidying it up with a little red bow hairclip, before lifting her up and helping her stand on the changing table. She bounces her knees, squealing excitedly, and your heart expands.

You settle her back on your hip once she’s dressed and move around to pack the diaper bag, tossing the outfit change - a pair of hunter green corduroy leggings and a fluffy white pullover with a hood and bear ears - into the separate compartment from the diapers and everything else. You make sure there’s another, less fancy outfit change in the bag as well, plus her diapers and a whole host of toys to keep her occupied.

The Christmas playlist shuffles back to “Santa Baby” and you laugh a little, singing along dramatically to make Talia giggle. You dance around with her in your arms and jump when Mat’s voice breaks in through the music and your singing, “she’s really whoring herself out for Santa, huh?”

You turn and there’s your husband, leaning against the door to the baby’s nursery, looking handsome as sin in his dark jeans and cream sweater. His hair is slightly damp from his shower and he’s barefoot. A teasing smile splits his face.

You grin back at him, adjusting your grip on Talia as she lunges in your arms for Mat. “She’s just a woman who knows what she wants,” you reply, handing Talia over to him. He takes her easily and kisses her cheek.

Mat scoffs. “Sounds like a pain in the ass to me. Talia Bee looks like she’s ready to meet Santa, huh?” He wrinkles his nose at her and she giggles, grabbing at his face, little fingers hooking in his mouth. He play bites at them and she giggles, bumping her head against Mat’s. “Ow,” he mumbles.

You wipe subtly at your eyes, hormones still a little wonky, and Mat shakes his head at you. “No tears. I’ve got Princess T, we’ll hang out while you get ready,” he says, reaching out to nudge at your side to get you moving. He turns to Talia and says, “right, T? Daddy will entertain you while Mama gets even prettier than she already is.”

“Charmer,” you roll your eyes. “Do not let her get messy, please.”

“Oh, there went my plans to finger paint,” he laughs, making Talia laugh too. Their faces are nearly identical when they laugh and you can’t believe that this is your life.

When you finish getting ready, after only some minimal negative thoughts about the few extra pounds still lingering on your body, you find Mat and Talia in the den, entertaining each other. Mat’s laying on his stomach on the couch, a hand extended to Talia with a pile of puffs on his palm. He watches as Talia pinches one at a time and puts them carefully in her mouth. “Good job, T,” Mat coos, his free hand rubbing at the bottom of her foot.

“Puffs were a smart choice,” you comment, grinning when Talia looks over at you and immediately ignores Mat and the snacks in favor of waving her hands at you for you to pick her up.

Mat rolls partially onto his side to look at you and immediately wolf whistles, making you blush. “Hot mama,” he says, teasing you with his words. But the look in his eyes is all genuine heat and you wrinkle your nose at him.

“Stop that,” you wave him off, lifting Talia onto your hip. “I probably shouldn’t even be wearing these pants,” your free hand smooths over the black leather on your thigh, “I need to lose like another ten pounds.”

“You’re literally the hottest woman I’ve ever seen,” Mat says sincerely, getting to his feet and popping the remaining palmful of puffs into his mouth. The baby snacks are surprisingly delicious. He chews, swallows, and says, “if we weren’t nearly running late, I’d a thousand percent eat you out on the couch right now.”

“Mat!” You yelp his name and cover Talia’s ear with your free hand. “Little ears!”

“She has no idea what I’m saying,” he laughs, tilting your chin up so he can kiss you. His tongue slides past your lips and you deepen the kiss, grinning against his mouth until Talia lets out a shriek because neither of you is paying attention to her. Mat pulls back from the kiss and laughs harder, giving her a dramatic, smacking kiss on the cheek. “Can’t forget about the princess.”

You kiss her other cheek, smushing her face in between yours and Mat’s and Talia giggles happily, kicking her legs and pushing at your faces with her hands.

Talia naps a little in the car, her head lolling and cheek pressed against the side of her car seat. Mat’s hand stays firmly on your thigh for the entire drive and you try not to think about the way your thighs spread when you’re sitting. But when you get to the practice rink and all of the kids are running around, it’s easier to push those thoughts away. Mat carries the diaper bag and the skates while you have Talia and your purse.

“Let the party begin,” he crows dramatically, throwing his hands up in the air. You snort a laugh behind him while some of the guys roll their eyes at him.

“Party’s already started,” Bo teases, “with Barzy fashionably late.”

“Do you think these good looks just happen naturally?” Mat asks, pouting like Zoolander.

Noah breezes by with Brock’s two oldest kids yanking on his hands. He comments, “yeah, we all knew it took you a lot of work to look halfway decent.”

“Please continue chirping him,” you say, “his ego’s almost too big for the house.” Mat helps you take off your jacket while you’re still holding Talia and he takes the opportunity to pinch your ass in retaliation. “Ouch! I’m sorry,” you giggle. Talia tugs at your hair and you’re convinced that sometimes father and daughter have a psychic connection.

Mat wanders off to put your jackets somewhere and you end up in a little huddle with Sydney, Kristy, and Holly. They take turns cooing over Talia’s little dress and she thrives on the attention, giving them gummy smiles and giggles, drool covering her chin that you have to keep wiping off. The older kids are all wandering around, running in the open areas, and the noise echoes off the high ceilings in the rink’s lobby. It’s decorated for the holidays and you find yourself looking around for Mat to see if he’ll join you for a picture in front of the tree.

He appears, with a Santa hat perched crookedly on his head, and Jack Cizikas hanging off his back. “Did anyone see Jack?” He asks seriously, looking between you and the other women. “We can’t find him!”

Jack’s giggles are infectious and you find yourself laughing too, bouncing Talia on your lap. “Did you check the ice?” You ask and Mat turns around, like a dog chasing its tail, with Jack swinging around, laughing hysterically.

“I’m here!” He yelps and slides off Mat’s back. Mat widens his eyes in a dramatic expression.

“Whoa! Have you been there the whole time?” Mat shakes his head. “Your dad and I couldn’t find you!”

Jack looks up at Mat and then over at his mom, who’s hiding a laugh behind her hand. “Mom, isn’t Mat supposed to be good at spotting things?” He asks, raising an eyebrow. “Like pucks? I’m bigger than a puck!”

With that, he runs off to find the other kids, leaving the adults laughing in his wake. Mat shakes his head, “damn. The kid’s a savage.”

Kristy shrugs, “he spends too much time around hockey players.”

“That’s why we’re only having daughters,” Mat says to you, cupping his hand over Talia’s head. “They’re nicer to their dads than boys are.” Talia reaches for him and wraps her entire hand around his ring and pinky fingers.

You snort, “wait until the teenage years, I don’t think you’ll be singing the same tune.”

“Forget teenage years,” Sydney laughs, “Winnie’s terrible twos almost prevented Alice from even existing at all.”

“Let me have my fantasy,” Mat grins. “You guys are mean, right T? You’re not gonna be mean to Daddy when you’re older?” He lifts her from your lap and hugs her close, wincing when she yanks at a hunk of his hair while she giggles, leaving a spot of drool on his shoulder.

“How about we try that Santa picture while she’s in a good mood?” You suggest, getting to your feet to disentangle her chubby fingers from Mat’s hair. The last thing you need is for him to think another buzz cut is a good idea.

The other wives nod. Holly chimes in, “you have to get that picture before nap time otherwise it’s a total loss.”

Kyle and Ashlee are finishing up their pictures with Santa when you and Mat get over to the little workshop area that’s been set up. Luca’s grinning from ear to ear, a candy cane clutched in his fist. “Candy!” He cheers when he sees you and Mat, brandishing the sweet and nearly whacking Ashlee in the eye. She ducks a little and huffs a laugh through her nose.

“Not the first candy cane he’s had today,” she admits to you, while Kyle holds out a hand to Talia for a high-five. Mat helps her give the other man a slap on the palm and all three cheer.

“She’s still sugar free,” you grin. “But I can’t vouch for how much sugar the big child has had.”

“Absolutely none,” Mat cuts in haughtily. “This energy is all natural life endorphins, Squeaks.”

Mat’s natural life endorphins have him practically bouncing in to see Santa, all big smile and bright eyes. You’re both so excited to see Talia meet Santa for the first time and the man the team’s hired looks absolutely perfect for the part. He greets you all happily, with a booming voice full of joy. “Ho ho ho!” He laughs. “Who do we have here?”

“This is Talia,” you tell Santa with a big cheesy grin on your face. Mat has her facing forward, one forearm propped under her butt and the other wrapped securely around her stomach. She squints at Santa curiously, suspiciously, but doesn’t make a peep.

“Oh, ho! Talia, have you been a good girl this year?” Santa asks, a twinkle in his eye that you don’t think can be faked. He must be a grandfather in his real life, you think while snapping photos.

Talia pinches her lips together, her eyebrows drawing together in a furrow. Mat jiggles her up ans down a little, “T, why don’t you show off that Barzal charm? Give Santa a smile.”

“She’s usually very chatty,” you explain to Santa, who shrugs and says he’s seen it all. Mat lifts one shoulder too and goes to hand Talia over to Santa so you can get a picture, but the second she leaves Mat’s hands, Talia begins sobbing, letting out an earsplitting wail.

“Oh my god!” You take her back immediately, holding her against your shoulder and swaying so she’ll calm down. Mat’s apologizing in the background. “Oh, Talia Bee, it’s okay. Mama and Daddy are sorry. You’re okay.”

She keeps crying on your shoulder and you wince at Mat, who looks shocked and says, “I had no idea she’d freak out like that.”

“It happens much more often than you’d think,” Santa offers kindly. “The littlest ones like to have mom and dad in the picture too.”

Talia hiccups in your arms, she’s stopped crying now, but her face is still all red. You pepper soft kisses over her cheeks and forehead, cuddling her close until she starts chewing on the side of her fist quietly. Her head is tucked under your chin and she looks over at Santa with a pretty impressive stink eye, considering she’s only seven months old.

“I’ll keep a hold of her,” you tell Mat, “and we can all just get a group shot. Hopefully that doesn’t set her off.”

He agrees and sits on one side of Santa while you take the other, carefully keeping Talia from seeing Santa directly. You smile and tickle Talia lightly, hoping it gets her to smile at least. Once the picture is taken, Santa offers you both a jolly smile and Mat a candy cane. He takes it happily and immediately unwraps it to pop it in his mouth with the hook part hanging out of his mouth. He scrolls through the photos that were taken and cracks up at one, showing it to you as you head back towards the main lobby.

“Oh god,” you giggle at the photo of Talia freaking out, her face bright red and mouth opened in that horrible wail. “This is so mean to laugh at.”

“At least when she needs therapy for her Santa phobia we can show her this as the starting point,” Mat jokes, while setting one of the nicer photos of the three of you as his new phone background.

“You’re horrible,” you swat at his arm, adjusting Talia on your hip. She grumbles and nuzzles her face against your shoulder, patting at your chest. She lets out a high pitched squeal and you kiss her cheek. “Okay, I know. You’re hungry, right, baby? Daddy can go get Mama a snack and I’ll feed you.”

You turn to Mat and give him puppy dog eyes. He’s already laughing when you ask, “will you get me snacks while I feed your child?”

He snorts. “Of course. What do you want, sweet or salty?” While he waits for your answer, Mat cups his hand over Talia’s head and rubs his thumb over the shell of her ear. His love language has always been physical touch, his hands always on your body in some way, and now he does it to Talia, constantly holding her little hand or cupping his palm over her head.

“How about a little mix of everything?” You reply, leaning over Talia to give him a kiss on the cheek before disappearing into one of the side offices so you can feed the baby. Mat brings a plate of snacks and once you’re done feeding Talia, he takes her to burp so you can get straightened out. While he pats her back, Mat tells Talia how excited he is to take her on the ice and how cute she’s going to look in her little sweater. You love when he’s extra adorable with her, it honestly makes you want to give him a dozen more babies. When Talia’s a little older and you’ve had some more distance from your labor with her you’re going to bring it up with Mat.

Half the team is already on the ice when you get to the rink after changing the baby into her warmer outfit. Everyone’s having a good time skating and the kids all look beyond delighted to be taking turns skating with their dads. You sit on the lowest bleacher level and watch Mat make quick work of his skate laces, tying off the knots efficiently. You go to hand Talia over so you can lace up your own pair, but Mat kneels in front of you instead.

“What are you doing?” You ask, watching him pull off your boots. He cups a hand around your ankle and guides your foot to the skate boot. You automatically wiggle your feet into the skates, reflexively stomping down so your heel settles into place. He adjusts the tongue of the skate and makes quick work of your laces too, knotting them tightly.

“Taking care of my girl,” he replies with a cheeky grin before patting your ankle to signify that he’s done and you can stand up. Talia reaches for Mat and he takes her, knowing that you’d rather he hold her while you’re on skates since he’s more comfortable walking on the blades.

“You’re sweet,” you smile, following him onto the ice, your phone in hand to take pictures. Talia’s eyes are wide and Mat holds her securely while she has her head practically on a swivel to watch all the action. She waves to everyone as they skate past, excitedly kicking her legs in Mat’s arms. Whenever one of the guys waves to her, she squeals happily, nearly falling out of Mat’s arms in order to reach for Gunnar Horvat when Bo skates past with him. Mat laughs and picks up his speed a bit to get the breeze on her face.

Your stomach twists a little nervously and you follow him, slower of course, saying, “Mat, don’t go too fast, okay? I don’t want - just be careful!”

He nods and slows down, spinning to face you and skate backwards a little. They both have matching looks of joy on their faces. “This is the best,” he grins, bouncing Talia in his arms and then leaning down to let her feet touch the ice. She giggles, kicking at it, and you take video, knowing you’re going to watch it back a million times. “She’s a real ice baby.”

“It’s in her blood,” you wave at Talia from behind the camera so she’ll look at you. Mat helps her wave back and swings her a little, grip firm under her armpits. She shrieks with delight as he swings her back up into the air and into his arms. Her little cheeks and nose are pink and the fluffy fleece makes her look like a little polar bear. “You are the cutest little baby in the world,” you can’t help but coo at her.

“All thanks to her having the cutest mom in the world,” Mat winks at you, skating away with a laugh.

#mat barzal #mat barzal x reader #mat barzal x you #mat barzal imagine #mat barzal fic #nhl fic

[mvltixcc]

Girls Like Girls - Robin Buckley X Cheerleader!Reader

Summary: Robin has a crush on the new girl in town. Y/N is also a new member of the cheer squad, which means Robin sees her all the time at games and other school events. Unfortunately, Robin is put in a tough situation. She's scared to talk to her because the cheerleaders have a reputation of being mean girls and she fears that Y/N may not feel the same. Little does Robin know that Y/N does not appear as she seems. Y/N becomes best friends with Eddie, which seems unlikely at the surface due to different social circles. This leads to rumors of course and word spreads like wildfire here at Hawkins, which then makes Robin's feelings even more confusing. After hanging out with Steve and the gang, Robin starts to see a different side to Y/N. Will they end up together or will they just remain friends?

Word Count: 2.3k

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Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Chapter 5

“Hey pretty lady!” You say skipping up to Robin as she walked into work. 

“Hey stranger!” She responded with a smile. 

“Are you doing anything for Thanksgiving this year?” You asked, twirling your skirt.

“Oh I um-” Robin cleared her throat. “I don’t have anything going on actually. My parents are gonna be out of town on a trip they've had planned for over a year, why do you ask?” 

“I was having a little get together with some people since it’s just gonna be me and my family, I thought maybe you’d like to join!” You suggested. Robin’s face lit up like a little kid on Christmas morning. “I’d love to!” She proclaimed. 

“Oh yay! How exciting, all 6 of us are gonna have so much fun!” You said, Robin’s facial expression dropping at this. 

“6? Who um, who else will be there exactly?” Robin questioned.

“Well my family and I of course! Steve will be there too since his parents aren't really around much. And also Eddie as well, his uncle is gonna be working that day and I didn't want him to be alone.” You stated.

“Oh okay, that’s- that's great! I cant wait!” Robin tried to hide her disappointment. 

“Yay!! I’ll see you there! Okay, I’m off you have a good shift! Don’t drive her too crazy, Harrington.” You joked as you headed out the door.

“But that’s my job!” Steve replied. He turned to Robin and noticed the mood change. “What’s wrong?” He asked.

She sighed. “I didn’t know Eddie was gonna be at this get together. I thought it was gonna be like-”

“A date?” Steve questioned. 

“Maybe I guess, I don’t know.” Robin said, putting her head in her hands. 

“I still don’t see why you don’t make the first move?” Steve suggested. 

“Oh I don’t know, maybe because it would end totally horrifically. Catastrophic even!” She exclaimed. 

“But you don’t know that, maybe it won't end the way you think it will.” He said.

“Look, can we just drop it please?” Robin asked, getting ready to start her shift. Steve nodded and went to stock the candy.

“Well don’t you look nice!” Steve complimented as he picked up Robin. 

“Thanks dingus, you don’t look too bad yourself.” She thanked her friend. 

“What the hell is that?” Steve asked, pointing to the container in her lap.

“It’s a pie, what have you never seen a pie before?” She joked.

“Since when do you bake?” He scoffed as he continued to drive to Y/N’s house.

“Don’t be stupid, I bought this from the store. You really think that I’m gonna make her eat a pie that I don’t know how to make? Plus, at least I brought something, I don’t see you with anything.” Robin stated. 

“Uh huh okay whatever Buckley.” He laughed.

As Steve drove the rest of the way to the destination, Robin’s nervousness increased. She spent all week trying to make everything perfect for today. From her hair, her outfit, and what she would say in a conversation. She practiced VERY hard with that as she didn’t want to be a rambling mess in front of you. She got so lost in her anxious thoughts that she didn’t even notice that they had arrived. 

“Earth to Robin, hellooo?” Steve said, waving his hand in front of Robin’s face trying to capture her attention. 

“What huh, sorry.” She replied coming back to reality. 

“Look who was waiting for you.” Steve said pointing to the door, she saw you standing there in this cute outfit waving at the both of them. A blush began to creep upon her face. The pair got out of the car and made their way toward you. 

“I’m so happy you guys are here! Come in come in!” You said leading your friends inside. Everyone was sitting there chatting and eating snacks. Robin looked around expecting to see your parents. “So guys this is my nana and papa, and this is Steve and Robin!” Y/N said introducing the two friends to your family. 

“And I’m Eddie.” Eddie said as he stuffed his face with cheese cubes.

“Yes Eds we all know who you are.” You chuckled at him. “Now save some cheese for the rest of us!” You say slapping the cheese out of his hand. This made everyone laugh.  

Everyone began to converse with one another and having a good time, which you were glad. You took hosting VERY seriously and wanted everyone to get along. You made sure that everything was perfect for today. “Hey, where did you want me to put this pie?” Robin asked as she approached you in the kitchen.

You turned around to face her, “oh um you can set it on the counter over there.” You say pointing to the free spot. You went back to adding the finishing touches to everything. 

“Is there anything you need help with?” Robin asked, now standing next to you. 

“Yes actually! Can you put the potatoes into the bowl over there for me please?” You asked kindly. Robin nods and starts to help out. She finishes up and is shocked at herself that she didn’t drop any. 

“Alright everyone, time to eat! Ah go wash your hands you goose!” You said smacking Eddie's hand as he was reaching for the rolls. 

"Ouch! Will you stop smacking my hands?" Eddie chuckled.

He returned and everyone sat down and began to eat. The food was being passed around as well as the stories, especially from your papa. Boy did he love to tell his stories. Robin was having a great time, all her anxiety was gone by this point. She was sitting next to you,  just enjoying your company and that was all that mattered most to her. ‘Maybe everything would be okay after all.' She thought to herself. Boy was she so very wrong.

Your grandparents had just went to bed so now it was just the 4 of you hanging out. Steve and Robin were in the living room while Eddie was helping you clean up. While Steve and Robin were dancing, they heard a screech coming from the kitchen. They both ran to see what had happened. There you were being playful with Eddie. He was chasing you around with olives on his fingers. “BWAH!!” Eddie said as he chased you. 

“Stop, that’s so gross, you don’t even like olives anyways!!” You chuckled, trying to get away from him. He wrapped you up in his arms and lifted you up in the air. “Ahhh put me down you weirdo!!” You yelled.

Robin’s heart sank as she watched the scene unfold in front of her. She felt tears brimming her eyes. She pushed past Steve and grabbed her coat. Steve tried to call out for her to stop, but she ran out of the house. Y/N heard the door slam and Eddie set you down to go see what had happened. You walked into the living room and saw that both Robin and Steve were gone. You opened the front door and saw the car was now gone too. You felt a wave of sadness hit. Had you done something wrong for them to leave so suddenly? Without a goodbye at that. Eddie noticed the sadness in your eyes.

“Hey come here.” He said pulling you into a hug. “Maybe there was an emergency, I know it’s hard not to take it personal, but try not to, okay? At least not until you know what happened.” He hated seeing you so sad. "Come on, let's go finish up in the kitchen." You nodded and followed him.

"Alright here you go." You say handing Eddie the containers of food.

"Thanks, Wayne is gonna be thrilled to have this when he gets home from work." He thanked. "You know how he loves your cooking."

"Anytime!" You said trying to flash a smile, but in the back of your mind you couldn't stop thinking about Robin. Eddie could see the look on your face.

"I know." Eddie said as he pulled you into a hug. "Everything will be okay, I'm here for you always." He pulled away. "How about I come over tomorrow and we can do something just the two of us yeah?" He suggested.

"I'd really like that." You said with a smile. Eddie always knew how to make you feel better.

Eddie pulls you in for another hug. "Perfect, I'll see you tomorrow then okay peach?" You nod.

You helped him out to his van with all the food you had packed him and said your goodbyes. As he pulled out of the driveway he waved at you and you waved back. Then he drove on home and you were left alone to your thoughts. You went upstairs to shower and get ready for bed. You couldn't help but cry as you were in there. You never wanted to upset anyone and the thought of you doing that to Robin affected you deeply. After your shower, you crawled into bed and passed out.

Some time had passed since the last time you saw Robin. She wasn’t at school the week after everything had happened so you’ve tried calling and going to her house, but you heard nothing. And even when she finally came back, she avoided you. She just won't talk to you and that devastated you. You weren’t sure what had happened, so you didn’t know how to make things right.

Steve was no help either, he wanted to tell you because you were his friend too but he had to respect Robin’s wishes. You had quit your job at the family video because it made you too sad going there and not being with Robin.

You’d cry to Eddie all the time about how sad it made you and he was there for you the best he could, he hated seeing you like this. Eddie knew how much you cared for Robin. He even tried to reach out to Robin to try and fix whatever had happened, but he got nowhere.

It was now Christmas time and Steve had invited you over for a small get together. Part of you had hoped Robin would be there, but the chances of that were low. You still had gotten her a gift anyways, you didn’t want her to feel like you stopped caring about her. You finally had your own car so that meant no more Eddie driving you around everywhere, not that he’d complain anyways. You pulled up to Steve’s house and grabbed the gifts out of your trunk, soon making your way to the front door. 

“Well look who decided to finally show up!” Steve said as he opened the door for you. You couldn't see him because of the big pile of gifts you had, but you could tell it was him by the sound of his voice. “Got enough gifts there Y/N?” He chuckled, helping you take some inside. 

“Hey I didn’t want anyone to go without a gift!” You stated.

“Even me?” You heard someone say from behind. You turned around to see who it was and once the realization had hit, you ran right into their arms. 

“God I’ve missed you so much.” You said softly as your voice began to break, tears welling up in your eyes.

“I missed you too Y/N.” Robin replied, hugging you tightly.

You pulled away to face her, tears streaming down your face at this point. “I’m so so so beyond sorry Robin, I-” She interrupted you. 

“No no, there’s no need to apologize. You’ve done nothing wrong. There was just- a lot going on in my head and I needed some time to work through it.” She said, wiping your tears. You hugged her again not wanting to let go, you truly did miss her. 

“So no Eddie huh?” She asked.

“No, he’s at home spending time with his uncle while they both have the time off from working.” You stated. 

“Ah I see, that’s good I guess.” Robin replied. She was a little happy that he wouldn’t be there with you so she could have you all to herself. 

“Alright come on you two, let’s go open gifts!” Steve interrupted 

Everyone sat around in a circle and opened their gifts. Everyone had gotten things that they had enjoyed or needed, like Y/N got movies, Nancy got notepads for when she did her reporting, Steve got cans of hairspray (naturally), and the kids got stuff for DND. But Robin got random stuff, things that weren't really for her or what she liked. Things like candy, stickers, or knick knacks from a gumball machine. Basic stocking stuffers. She was grateful of course, but she felt like no one really knew her or didn’t care to get her anything that she would like. That was until she opened your gift. You had gotten her favorite records as well as ones that she had been wanting to get for a long time. She had the biggest smile on her face and her heart felt so full. No one had ever payed this much attention to her, not even Steve. She felt seen and heard for once. You went over to her spot and sat next to her. 

“Merry Christmas Robin.” You said giving her a warm hug. 

“Merry Christmas Y/N.” She replied, hugging you tightly. She really had missed you a lot and she was glad to have you back. 

Next chapter

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[avastrasposts]

The Pilot and his girl - ch 11

Now we're getting into the fun part! 😋 The metaphorical shit is about to hit the fan as Frankie and our reader get ready for their one year anniversary on September 26, 2013. I had a lot of "fun" writing this chapter and I hope you enjoy it even though I'm now taking a seriously hard left turn with this series, away from the fluffy little bubble I've wrapped us in. The warnings will contain spoilers so I've put them in a separate post and will update them as I go: Warnings

Word count: 6.2 k

Chapter 12

Chapter 1, if you want to catch up from the beginning

Taglist: @pimosworld @i-own-loki @casa-boiardi @littlenosoul @stormseyer @mxtokko  @javicstories

“Cariño! I’ve got to go now, come kiss me!” Frankie calls through the apartment as he pulls on his boots, hastily tying them up before he tugs on his jacket. “Carinooooooo!” he wails, “come kiss me goodbye, I can’t leave if you don’t kiss me!” 

You spit out the toothpaste and rush to rinse your mouth, before opening the bathroom door, looking over at your baby of a boyfriend who’s currently standing by the door, bag in hand, making puppy eyes at you. “Cariñoooooo!" he wails impatiently while you pad over to him on bare feet, shaking your head. 

“You’re such a baby, Francisco Morales,” you wrap your arms around his neck as he bends down and gives you a wet kiss on your lips before trailing more wet kisses down your throat. 

“I can’t leave if you don’t kiss me,” he gives you a fake pout as he stands up. “You’re sure you’re ok to pack everything up on your own? I’ll be back as soon as possible so we can just load into the truck and go.” 

“Yeah, it’s fine, I’ll do some laundry and pack the last of the food. Just ring me when you leave work and I’ll be ready to go when you’re back.” 

“Ok, hermosa, mi amor, my gorgeous cariño, happy anniversary, my love,” Frankie captures your chin between his thumb and fingers and you smile up at him as he gives you another long kiss. 

“Happy anniversary, Frankie, my love,” you mumble against his lips, giggling as he tries to push you up against the door, groping at your ass, “I thought you had to leave.” 

“I do, fuck, but I don’t want to,” Frankie sighs, and plants a final kiss on your mouth before he opens the door and heads out, “I’ll see you this afternoon, hermosa,” he smiles, “te amo.” 

“Love you too, Frankie.” 

You lock up behind him and continue to get ready. The plan is to head out of the city and up to Denny’s cabin as soon as Frankie’s back from work. You’re working from home today to save some time, you’ve set aside manuscripts to read and that’s best done from home anyway. 

Frankie had surprised you a couple of weeks ago by telling you he’d asked Denny if you two could borrow the cabin for your anniversary, have a little holiday together. Today was exactly one year since you met at The Outback Bar and it had been the best year of your life thanks to Frankie. A weekend escape, just the two of you at the cabin, sounded like the perfect way to celebrate. To make matters even better you’d closed on a house just a few days ago, all the paperwork signed, you didn’t even have the keys yet, but you’d still spent the past three days mentally decorating the whole place. Frankie had sent Lucía pictures of the house and her room and she’d been over the moon to see the pictures of the pool outside. Now you were planning on throwing your very first Thanksgiving dinner at your new house together with Frankie and Lucía. 

You allowed yourself to get lost in daydreams for a while as you finished your breakfast and cleared the kitchen, throwing a load of clothes in the washing machine. While it ran its cycle you sat down at your small home office and went over the manuscript. 

Frankie called you just after lunch with bad news. 

“I’m sorry, cariño, I think I’ll probably be later than I thought, things are fucking crazy today,” he sighed over the phone. “One of our choppers crashed, we can’t get hold of the pilot, I’m just fucking praying he’s ok, Denny’s on his way out there now.” You can hear him rub his hand over his face, rough against his scruffy beard, “And I’ve got to fly three doctors to different locations, apparently they’re swamped, all kinds of crazy shit happening, it’s like it’s a full moon night but it’s midday.” 

“It’s fine, Frankie, just fly safe, you’ll get here when you get here and if it’s too late we’ll drive up tomorrow.” 

“Yeah, but I wanted to be with you all weekend,” he huffs, “Fuck, I’ve got to go, Denny’s on the radio. Talk soon, cariño.” He hangs up before you have a chance to say goodbye. 

By the time seven pm rolls around you have everything packed up for the trip to the cabin, you’ve been checking your phone for Frankie’s phone call for the past hour. He hadn���t been exaggerating when he said things were crazy today, you’d gone down to the corner store for some snacks for the road and found it closed, shutters down even though it was only five pm, the streets empty. And on your way back to the apartment you’d seen a police car crash into a small car. You’d started running over to the crash to see if you could help but a police man had stumbled from the cruiser and yelled at you to get back inside, to stay away. Something in his voice had scared you and you’d turned back straight away, running back to your building and up the stairs. 

Once back in the apartment you’d locked the door and tried calling Frankie, but he didn’t pick up. That wasn’t unusual, he usually couldn’t answer when he was flying, if you really needed to get hold of him you’d call Denny and he’d patch you through on the radio. But you tried Denny too and there was no reply there either, not on his cell or the landline to the airfield. 

So now it’s seven pm and you’re getting antsy. There are an extraordinary amount of police sirens outside, the news are talking about riots in the streets downtown, but the footage makes it look more like a warzone and the local news cuts the broadcast when someone attacks the camera man. 

At nine you’re pacing the apartment, back and forth between the big window facing the street and the small window in the kitchen overlooking the parking lot. When your phone rings you jump, and relief floods your chest when you see that it’s Frankie. “Frankie, where are you? Did you see the news?” you ask when you pick up, but you’re interrupted by him straight away. 

“Cariño, where are you? Still at home?” He sounds stressed and he’s breathing hard. 

“Yeah, I’m at home, waiting for you, of course. What’s going on, are you running?” You press your phone to your ear, trying to hear what’s going on around him, you can hear people shouting in the background. 

“I was, I’m trying to get away from Washington Park, I…I got into some trouble,” he stutters, “some guy was beating up another guy and I pulled over to stop him, I had to pull him off the other guy but he was fucking crazy, like high on salts or something, never seen anything like it. He came after me and I had to…I’m sorry cariño, I had to…take him out.” 

You hear the shame in his voice, you’ve only talked a couple of times about the guy in the bar Frankie beat up because he thought he’d hit you. He knew his skill at violence scared you and he’d done his utmost to prove to you that he wasn’t a violent person. But now he’d had to take this guy out, in self defence, and he was trying to explain it to you. 

“Just get home, Frankie,” you say, “we can talk when you get here, just get home.” 

“I’m trying, hermosa, but the police turned up and…fuck…hang on.” 

You hear his heavy boots shuffling over broken glass and hard ground, he grunts as he seems to move through or over a structure, nearly dropping the phone. 

“Ok, I have to keep moving, hermosa,” he pants, “the police turned up and…they thought I’d killed the guy, the didn’t see him beating up the other guy an-” 

“You killed him!?” your eyes are wide, you’ve stopped dead in your tracks in front of the big window. 

“I don’t know, cariño, the police came, they pulled their guns on me, I had to run and-”

“Frankie, why the fuck did you run from the police? You’re gonna get into so much more trouble now!” 

“I couldn’t stay, something isn’t right, some weird shit is happening all over town.” 

“And fucking running from the police after beating someone to death is the way to make it less weird, Frankie?” you spit out, you’ve been worried about him for hours but now your nervous energy shifts into anger at his stupidity. “Just get the fuck home and we’ll deal with this mess in the morning, or just maybe just turn yourself in, it’s gonna look so bad with you running from the scene.” You sigh, pushing your fingers through your hair, “Frankie, why’d you have to be so reckless?”  

Frankie bristles, you can hear his anger, “You don’t understa-” he begins but suddenly your phone goes dead, cutting him off. You look down at the screen and curse, you have no reception, there are no bars, it looks like the service has overloaded or gone down.

“Fuck,” you say out loud, and turn it off, maybe a restart will help, but no luck. Your phone is still dead and when you try calling Frankie on your landline phone it goes straight to voicemail. You leave a message, telling him to just come home as soon as possible. 

After that there’s not much to do except wait, you resume your path between the kitchen window and the living room window, stopping every now and then to flick through the news, all hell seems to be breaking out across the state, even the country. You try calling Frankie a few more times but it still goes straight to voicemail. The knot in your stomach is growing, making you feel nauseous with nerves. 

You call Pope but there’s no reply so you call Will’s landline. Hannah picks up and she’s frantic with worry about Will, he’s not back from work and she can’t get hold of him either. Benny was meant to have dinner with them and he’s taken the car to try and go pick up Will at work but with the cell phone services down she can’t reach him either.  

“I don’t know what the fuck is going on,” she almost cries, “I saw people running down the street just now and I don’t know if I should leave or what?” 

“No, just stay put, Will or Benny will come back there so just lock up and wait,” you say, you can’t stop yourself from biting your nails, you feel panic rising in your throat.

You promise to keep in touch and update each other, when you hang up you feel sick to your stomach. You desperately want Frankie to come back, you need to see him and feel his arms around you, tell you it’ll be alright, but no matter how many times you call, you only get his voicemail. You ring a few extra times just to hear his voice repeat the same message. 

“Hi, this is Francisco Morales, I can’t pick up right now, please leave a message.” 

“Please, please, please, Frankie, come home, come home, baby,” you whisper into the phone as you listen to his voice again. 

Night has fallen outside and it’s even worse, around the city fires have broken out and from your apartment you can see a couple of them burn out of control. Just after midnight the news channel stops broadcasting, suddenly, in the middle of an update. You flick through the channels but there’s only static on all of them. 

You call Will’s place again but there’s no reply, you hope that means Benny has brought back Will to Hannah, and they can’t pick up right now, maybe they’re on their way here. 

Just as you’ve put the phone down it rings again and you snatch it up. 

“Frankie?” you almost cry down the receiver but instead you hear Pope’s worried voice. 

“Is Frankie there?” he asks, you can hear the stress in his voice. 

“No, he called at nine, he…he was in some trouble but I don’t know…he was on his way home, but he’s not here yet,” your words rush out, “Pope, what’s  happening? I can’t get hold of Will or Benny either and I’m freaking out!” 

“I don’t know, it’s a shit show, people are…listen, I’m not too far from you, I’ll try and make it over there. I’m on a military frequency so my phone’s still up, I’ll call you if anything. Just stay put inside, keep the door locked.”

“Yes, yeah, of course, I’m waiting for Frankie, I’m not going anywhere,” you say, double checking the lock and deadbolt on the front door. 

“Do you have a weapon, a gun, baseball bat, knife, anything?” he asks, you can hear him jogging, his shoes drumming along whatever hard surface he is on. 

“I don’t know, I don’t think we have a gun, we have a baseball bat, and the kitchen knives,” you frown, looking out the window again, “Pope, why do I need to arm myself, are people looting?” 

“Yeah, they’re looting and it’s getting violent, so stay inside, and don’t open to anyone except me or Frankie. And don’t talk to anyone but me or Frankie, ok?” 

“Ok, I’ll dig out the baseball bat straight away but…but just get here, please, Pope, I’m really scared.” You leave the window and go to the closet in the guest room where Frankie keeps his old bat. 

“I know, I know, I’ll get there as soon as I can.” 

“Hurry, please, and stay safe, Santi,” you say, you can feel tears gathering on your lashes as your voice starts to wobble. 

“I need you to be strong, ok,” Pope’s voice is firm, as if he’s giving a soldier orders, “I need you to handle yourself, if someone tries to come through that door, you need to defend yourself, do you understand? Even kill them if it comes to that, do not let anyone attack you.”

“Santi…” you stumble, “I can’t..”

“I know, but you have to. This is serious, Frankie’s not around so I need to make sure you’re safe, and for you to be safe, you need to be ruthless now, do you understand?” His voice has a sharp edge, he’s breathing hard, moving fast trying to get to you, and the reality of what he’s saying hits you. 

“I promise, Pope,” you whisper, “I’ll…I’ll try my best to defend myself, I’ll try.” 

“Good, I’m about an hour away on foot, but it’s slow going. Give me two to three hours and I should be there.” 

“Stay safe, Santi, please,” you beg, pressing the receiver of the phone to your ear, as if hearing the voice of your friend will keep him and you safe. 

“I’ll try my best, and stay strong for me, and for Frankie, ok?” 

“I will,” you promise. 

… 

When his phone dies, Frankie hears the click and then nothing. He had a feeling this would happen, it’s mayhem in the city and the system is bound to be overloaded, so the lack of reception is no surprise, but he still curses under his breath. 

He was moving down narrow back alleys, jogging fast, staying off the main streets, avoiding people, especially any police, as he tried to get away from Washington Park. When he’d put some distance between himself and the park, he’d stopped to call home. He’d crouched down just behind a dumpster, keeping out of sight, while he talked to her. Now he stands up carefully, looking up and down the alley and considers his next move. The keys to his truck are in his pocket, it’s still where he left it by the park, he could maybe try to get back to it but the police are sure to be there. 

But something, at the back of his head, tells him he needs to keep moving and get home as fast as possible. Things are not normal, the whole day has been a shit show, but now, now it’s getting out of control. The man he’d tried stopping beating up the other guy had been raging, he’d turned and attacked Frankie so fast he’d barely had time to react. Only his instincts from the army, slower now but still just under the surface, had saved him from getting bit, fucking bit! 

The guy had actually tried biting him when Frankie sidestepped, and tripped him up, making him fall to the ground. He’d been on his feet in a flash and Frankie knew the guy was high on something when he saw his eyes, so he’d sidestepped again and swung an elbow to the guy’s head, hitting him in the temple. It had been harder than he’d intended but the sudden attack had his adrenaline running high, and the man had dropped to the ground and remained motionless. 

As he started running, when the police pulled up, his only thought was to get away as fast as possible. But as he ran, as he put a couple of blocks between him and the park, he saw others starting to act strange. When a city bus crashed into a taxi he dodged into an alley, the passengers on the bus flailing about inside as if they were locked in battle with each other. Frankie’s gut was yelling at him that something was very wrong, this was not just a weird day, this was something else, but he couldn’t wrap his head around what was going on. So he’d stopped to call her, to hear her voice and make sure she was safe, and let her know he was trying to get home. 

The way the call ended, when the phone network died, left a knot in his stomach that had nothing to do with the unfolding mayhem in the city. This weekend was meant to be about them, he wanted everything to be perfect, and now the last words between them had been anger. The small box in his jacket pocket represented everything he wanted for their future, and more than anything he needed to get back to her, to explain what had happened and get them out of the city for their anniversary. Whatever the fuck was going with everyone else, he needed to be with her, at the cabin, and ask her to be his wife. Everything else was secondary. 

Frankie drew a deep breath and started moving back towards Washington Park. He needs his truck, it’s their best chance at getting out of the city. Hopefully the police had been called away on something else, letting paramedics deal with the guy he’d taken down, maybe he hadn’t actually killed him. 

He stays on side streets and alleys, keeping low, staying out of sight. When he sees the door to a gun shop wide open, he pauses, considering the risk. A gun would make him feel safer, but looting one now, is pretty shitty behaviour. The thought stays with him for only a second, before he cautiously moves into the shop. The back of the shop is dark but quiet, broken glass crunches under his boots as he moves towards one of the display cases. There’s rifles on the wall but they’re too hard to hide, instead he quickly finds a Glock among the wreckage, the familiar gun feels solid in his hand. 

There’s ammo behind the counter but when he steps around it, he sees the woman, splayed on the floor, face down. He stops in his tracks, staring down at her still form for a beat. She’s wearing a pink t-shirt and he can see the blood where it’s been ripped open over her shoulder. It doesn’t look like a significant amount of blood but he can’t see her face, can’t tell if she’s alive or not. 

There’s a box of ammo near him and he quickly loads the gun, sliding a full magazine into the Glock. He doesn’t know why, maybe the way the day has been, but he keeps his gun trained on the woman, safety off, while he carefully moves towards her. There’s more ammo behind her and he wants to pick it up, but he also doesn’t want to leave her injured or dead without checking on her. 

Gently he nudges the toe of his boot against her hand, shifting it slightly, and he hears a deep growl, inhuman. The sound makes him take a quick step back, more glass breaking under his feet with a loud crackle. The woman lifts her head and turns to look at him for a beat. All Frankie has time to think is that her eyes have the same rage as the man at the park, she scrambles to her feet and launches herself at him. He fires his gun on instinct, the bullet hitting her cheek, the close range making it explode out the back of her head. 

She drops instantly as Frankie holds the gun trained at her. It takes a split second for his training to kick in, but then he moves. Stepping over her, he grabs two more boxes of ammo, stuffing them in his pockets, before he quickly throws himself over the counter and heads out the back door he came through, checking the street before he leaves. Walking fast, but not running, he puts the safety back on the gun and shoves into the back of his trousers, out of sight under his jacket. His breathing is normal but he can feel adrenaline pumping through his system, muscle memory makes him move through the city as if it’s hostile enemy territory. 

What the fuck is going on? What was that? Bad batch of some drug on the streets? 

As he moves back towards the truck he checks his phone, there’s still no reception. There are more people on the streets now, more cars too, all heading for the freeway. He sees a family hastily throw bags into a car, a cat in a travel cage stuffed into the back. Other cars speed past, full of stuff, people are packing up and leaving. The sight makes him anxious, he needs to do the same, get back home, get to her, and get the fuck out. 

Screw the weekend, we need to get the fuck out of the city fast, whatever this is, it’s not gonna be over by Monday.

He finally spots his truck, parked where he left it, the man he’d knocked out nowhere in sight, and no police. Quickly scanning the area for signs of trouble, Frankie crosses the street and gets into the truck. He breathes a sigh of relief when he can lock the door and the engine rumbles to life. He can see traffic lining up on the other side of the park so he takes a side street, mapping the best route back home in his head as he tries to drive as fast as he can, people are running along the streets, cars speeding past and it gets worse the closer to downtown he gets. He tries to skirt around it but as he turns down a side street he finds it blocked by a truck that’s crashed into a building. 

“Fuck,” he breathes under his breath, there’s fire under the truck and he can see people on the other side. Quickly he reverses back onto the main street and turns left, heading a few more blocks down. The traffic’s getting heavy and it’s getting harder to avoid getting stuck, up ahead he sees cars grinding to a halt and in a last second decision he pulls a hard right and turns down a narrow alley, he knows it connects to another big road after a couple of blocks but it will get him closer to home at least, almost all the way there if it’s clear. He barrels through the alley, slowing down only to take the sharp turn onto the main road, and speeding up as he sees the way ahead of him clear. The harsh headlights flooding the cabin of his truck is the only warning he has when the bus slams into the passenger side of the truck. The screech of metal and tyres is the last thing Frankie hears as the world outside the shattered windscreen goes spinning and turns to black. 

…

Your body is telling you to sleep but you can’t, it’s almost three am and you’re on the couch, with a painful knot in your stomach. There’s sirens wailing outside, close by, and you’ve heard screams of terror and pain throughout the night. Frankie’s baseball bat is next to you on the couch, your hand shoots out to grab it whenever you hear a sound, your nerves on edge, the big kitchen knife on the coffee table. You’ve cried yourself dry with worry, Frankie’s not home, Pope hasn’t arrived either, you feel like you’re all alone in the world and every minute you’re fighting to keep the panic down. Pope’s words, keep strong for me and for Frankie, roll through your brain, it’s all you’ve got to keep you from falling over the edge. 

A loud crack rings out somewhere in your building and you shoot up to your feet, it sounded close and it sounded like a gunshot. Straining your ears you try to hear more, but the wailing sirens from outside make it hard to make out anything. Slowly moving closer to the front door, you grip the bat in your hand. You stop in the hall, holding your breath and listen intently in the silence. Suddenly you hear a shoe scuffle against the floor outside your door and you bite down hard on your lip, your heart is thumping so loudly it’s deafening. 

A soft tap on the door startles you enough to make you jump back into Frankie’s sneakers on the shoe rack. 

“It’s me, Pope, open the door,” Santi’s familiar voice filters low through the front door and you almost cry with relief, stumbling forward to unlock it. He comes through it as soon as it’s open enough to let him in and he immediately closes it behind him, locking and sliding the deadbolt in place. When he turns to you, you throw your arms around him, and you feel him grab hold of you, squeezing you tight as he pulls you into the living room. 

“Santi, I’m so scared,” you sob, fighting back tears, as he sets you down on the couch, “what’s happening?” 

“I don’t know yet, Frankie isn’t back?” he asks, looking around the living room. 

“N-No, I haven’t heard from him since the cell network went down,” tears well up in your eyes, “h-he said, he was coming back here. But that was six hours ago, Santi!” The tears spill over as fear overcomes you and he sits down next to you on the couch, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, gently shushing you. 

“Deep breaths, hermana, you need to focus,” he turns you around, putting both hands on your shoulders, squeezing them as his eyes lock onto yours. “Listen, I need you to stay with me now, ok?” 

You nod weakly as Pope wipes your cheek with the back of his hand, “We need to pack essentials and get out of here, there’s a couple of dirt bikes in the garage under your building, I’ve got the keys and-” 

“I’m not leaving without Frankie,” you say immediately, leaning back from Pope instinctively. “I have to stay here until he comes back.” 

“You can’t, it’s not safe, I have to keep you safe while Frankie’s not around,” Pope grabs your shoulders again, as if to press it into you but you baulk. 

“If I leave, with the phones down, he won’t find me. He said he was coming back here and I said I’d stay until he came back,” you pull away from Pope and stand up, moving to the window to look down on the street again. 

“Hermana, you haven’t seen the city, it’s chaos,” he’s stands up and comes after you, grabbing hold of your arm, “I don’t know what’s going on but people are unhinged, losing control and attacking each other,” his grip on your arm loosens a little but he’s turning you to look at him, “I don’t want to scare you more, but it’s bad out there, people are dying.” He falters, hesitating for a few seconds, “I’m sorry, this isn’t going away anytime soon, and Frankie might not make it back.” 

“Don’t say that. Don’t fucking say that!” You feel panic rising in your chest and you push him away.

“I saw a woman…she was…she killed a child, it’s that bad out there,” Santi grabs you again, a pained look on his face, pleading, “I’m sorry, Frankie is a very capable soldier, one of the best, but it took all I had to make it here.” 

You pull your arm from his hand, “He’s coming back here, I’m not leaving without him,” you spit out and step back into the living room, crossing your arms as you turn back to Pope, he’s looking at you from the window. 

“I can’t leave you here, Frankie’s my best friend, my brother, and you’re the love of his life, I’ve got to keep you safe. For him, hermana.” He’s pleading with you but you shake your head even as tears well up in your eyes again. 

“If you want to help Frankie, get to Lucía. Take one of the dirt bikes, get her and we’ll meet you at Denny’s cabin.” You’re staring at him, your jaw set, you know Pope can’t argue with that and he has no choice. As he drops his chin to his chest you know you’ve got your way. 

“Ok,” he sighs, “I’ll go and get Lucía, but you have to promise me that if Frankie’s not back by Sunday morning, you take the other bike and come up to the cabin too,” he’s walked over to you again, looking down at you with dark eyes, “if he’s not back by Sunday morning, he’s not coming back. Take the bike, get to the cabin.” 

“He’s coming back, Santi.” 

“I really want you to be right, hermana,” he sighs as he wraps his arms around you and pulls you to his chest. You slump against him, you can feel your body shaking with the onslaught of nerves and adrenaline. 

“He has to come back,” you whisper into his chest, “he has to, he has to, he has to,” you repeat as a mantra as Pope gently strokes your back. 

You don’t notice when Pope carefully lays you down in your bed, pulling the blanket over you. Your exhausted body and mind shuts down for a few hours and lets you sleep without dreams. When you wake with a start, daylight is starting to creep through your window, and for a second it feels like a normal morning, until you see Frankie’s side of the bed, empty. 

You push back the blanket and make your way out to the living room to find Santi on the couch, two guns and a rifle laid out in front of him. 

“Morning,” he says, looking up at you. “I hope you managed to sleep some.” 

You sit down next to him on the couch, watching his methodical movements with the weapons, “Did you sleep at all?” 

“No, I kept watch, but it’s fine,” he adds as he sees your concerned look, “I’m still running on adrenaline and I’m used to it. Pulled plenty of all nighters in the army.” 

“Did anything happen while I slept?” You move to the kitchen and open the fridge to pull out some breakfast, the inside of the fridge is dark. 

“The electricity and the military phone network cut out about an hour ago,” Pope nods at the fridge. “Eat whatever might go bad first.” He stands up and grabs a backpack, you recognise it as Frankie’s spare one. “I’ve packed enough to keep me going for a few days, and I’ve done the same for you and Frankie,” he points to a bigger backpack, Frankie’s hiking pack. “I’m gonna try to get to Lucía now, you and Frankie head to the cabin as soon as possible. Get out of the city, that’ll be Frankie’s plan too.”

He comes over to you where you’re standing by the kitchen counter, frozen in your movements. “Remember what I said last night, hermana, I’m sorry, but if he’s not back by Sunday morning…” he pauses and grabs hold of your hand, squeezing it tight, “if he’s not back, you have to leave by yourself and get to the cabin. Promise me,” his dark eyes are bearing into you as his fingers wrap around your own. 

“I promise, I’ll leave if he’s not back by Sunday morning,” you say, your voice barely over a whisper. 

“Ok,” he gives your hand another squeeze and goes back to Frankie’s backpack. “I’m leaving a gun with you, and some ammo, it’s in the pack,” he shows you the boxes in an outside pocket. “This is your gun,” he picks up one of the handguns on the coffee table, “it’s easy enough to handle, I’ll show you.”

“Where did you get them?” you ask, “did you just happen to have two guns and a rifle on you yesterday?” 

“No, I didn’t,” Santi looks at you, “I broke into a gunshop and took them.” He sees the way your eyes widen and holds up his hand, “Look out of the window, the world is falling apart, I don’t know what is happening, but looting three guns to protect myself and you, is the least of our worries right now.” He picks up the gun and motions you over and shows you how to hold it, “Grab it like this, both hands, keep it steady.” 

The gun is heavy and cold in your hands, “You really think the world is falling apart?” Your voice is quiet as you adjust your grip as Pope moves your fingers. 

“The first thing I heard yesterday was that something was going on in Indonesia, then Rotterdam. Here, put your thumb like this.” He moves your thumb to cross over your hand, “then there were news reports from all over the US. And if things are as bad there as they are here, then yeah, I think the world is falling apart.” 

He steps back and looks at your grip on the gun, “That’s it, hold it like that and squeeze the trigger when you’re ready.” 

You pull back on the trigger and the gun clicks. “So we get to the cabin and then what?” you ask, looking down the barrel of the gun, feeling the weight. 

“We hold down the fort, wait it out, until it’s under control again.” Pope gently takes the gun from your hands and shows you how to load it, making you go through the motions several times. When he decides you’ve got a hang of it, he takes the gun and gives it to you, “Safety on, keep it within easy reach. I should’ve gotten you a holster but stick it in the back of your pants for now, keep it on you at all times, ok?” 

“Ok,” you nod, doing as he says before looking up at him. “Do you think the others, Will and Benny, will come up to the cabin too?”

“If they can, yeah, it’s the most logical choice.” 

He turns and grabs the smaller backpack and his jacket, “I’m leaving, I’ll get to Lucía, get her and her mom, if I can, back to the cabin. Sunday morning, ok?” 

“Sunday morning I leave if he’s not back, yes, Santi.” You nod, your jaw tight. 

“Ok. And listen, when you do leave, with or without Frankie, don’t trust anyone. People are attacking without warning, like animals.” Pope’s eyes are on you, imploring you to understand, “Anyone moves towards you, shoot them, aim for the torso to bring them down, then head shot, to kill. I know it’s not going to be easy, but if you want to survive, you have to. Get to the cabin, I’ll be there.” He pulls you in for a big hug, squeezing you tight and you hold on to him for as long as you can before he pulls away. 

“Stay safe, Santi.” 

“You too, hermana.”  

You walk him to the front door and watch him as he listens through it for a couple a minute, the landing outside is silent. Carefully he opens the door, gun drawn, and peeks outside. Daylight is filtering through the windows, shining some light into the stairwell. With a final look at you he steps through the door and you close it behind him, locking it securely again. 

Walking back to the living room, you sit down on the couch. Twenty four hours until Sunday morning.

All you can do now is wait.

Chapter 12

#frankie morales #frankie morales x reader #frankie morales x you #frankie morales fluff #pedro pascal character fanfiction #frankie morales fanfiction #frankie morales fanfic #frankie morales angst #the last of us #the last of us fanfic #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fic #santiago garcia #the pilot and his girl #tlou fanfiction #tlou fandom

[tbyfandoms]

Alone | Sebastian Kydd x Reader

Pairing: sebastian kydd x f!reader

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary: when delivering her annual thanksgiving tradition cookies, y/n discovers just how alone sebastian has been feeling, and she’s determined to help fix that

Warnings: mild swearing

Masterlist | Ask/Tell/Request

A/N: per usual i’m rewatching the carrie diaries, so now my head is swimming with fic ideas for my favorite guy, sebastian <3. every time i watch the thanksgiving episode in s1, it makes me sad about how alone sebastian really was half the time. he just wanted his family to care for and love him. i know it’s nowhere near thanksgiving, but when the writing urge calls, i can’t help but write. also i’m going to try and revive the sebastian x reader tag because when i tell you there’s next to nothing there. I’m glad there’s so many fics for austin, but what about my man seb? hopefully this encourages people to watch the carrie diaries if you haven’t already! anyways, enjoy and lmk what you think! :)

Everything was perfect. There’s nothing quite like a Thanksgiving dinner spent with family, friends, and good food. It’s true the holidays can get a little crazy, especially when it comes to family, but for once everything turned out wonderful. You spent the day with the people you love most and luckily the kitchen didn’t burn down when you were trying to cook the turkey. Honestly, that’s all you could’ve hoped for.

There was one person missing from your group though, and that was none other than Sebastian Kydd himself. You had invited him over the day before, but he told you how his mom was coming over and they were gonna have a real family dinner like they used to. He was so excited and you couldn’t help the way it made your heart swell. He deserved to finally have some family time, you know how much he loves his parents, even if sometimes they don’t always show it in return, so you understood completely that he wouldn’t make it.

One thing you know he can’t miss out on though, are your Thanksgiving cookies! Every year, without fail, it’s tradition for you to make the most delicious batch of cookies shaped as turkeys and dish them out to all your friends and family. You always get so happy when November hits and everyone starts asking you about them, even if Thanksgiving is still weeks away. It makes you feel good to see others happy with something you made, so you don’t mind at all making them each and every year.

You’ve just finished your latest batch, made special for Sebastian and his family, and are placing them carefully in a cute holiday tin you have left over from last year. While digging around for the tin earlier you even found a festive bow to put on top of it. It’s not much, especially not compared to what Sebastian is used to, but it’s something and you know he’ll appreciate the fact you even thought of him.

With a hum of content, you place the lid on the tin and wrap it with the bow, loving how it looks once you’re finished. Grabbing the gift, you make your way to the front door and put on your coat and shoes, knowing there was no way you were going out there without them. Given how cold it’s been outside lately, winter seems to be fast approaching this year.

The drive to Sebastian’s is quick, but soothing. The roads are practically empty, people tired from the day’s festivities and no doubt winding down for the evening. The lights hung up on the houses you pass by spark joy and a sense of comfort within you, there’s no feeling quite like it.

When you pull into the Kydds’ driveway, you instantly take note on how dark it seems inside the house. You know Sebastian’s most likely here, considering his car is still parked out front, but the only indication of occupancy seems to be the porch light being turned on. It’s strange, but you shake the feeling. His family is probably just in the back room where Sebastian likes to hang out. After the big meal you’re sure they had, there’s no doubt they’d want to sit comfortably in there.

Grabbing the cookie tin from the passenger’s seat, you step out of the car and lock it before making your way to the front door. Reaching out, you press the doorbell and wait for someone to come and answer it. A smile breaks out on your face when you see Sebastian through the window, making his way to the door.

It’s dark out here, the sun having set ages ago, but there’s no mistaking the way Sebastian’s blue eyes shine as he takes in your presence once he opens the door. Your cheeks flush in response.

“Hey, Y/L/N! What are you doin’ here? Come in,” he says, quickly making room so you’re able to go inside.

Stepping out of your shoes, you start to unbutton your coat as you make your way towards the back room. “I know you said your mom was coming over and you wouldn’t be able to stop by, but I couldn’t let you go without some of my world famous Thanksgiving cookies! I know you must be busy so I won’t stay long but-”

Rounding the corner, you stop dead in your tracks. In the place where you expected to find Sebastian’s family, his mom at least, you find nothing. The couch is empty, as are the two chairs on each side of the coffee table. It’s quiet, the only sound coming from the tv where the recap of today’s football game is playing.

Peeking into the Kitchen on your left, you hope with all you’ve got that Sebastian’s mom is just in the kitchen, refilling her wine glass or somehow striking up the strength to do the dishes on her own for once.

Nothing, not even a dirty dish is in sight. Did Sebastian even have dinner?

Turning towards the boy in question, you can immediately tell by the look on his face tonight did not go the way he had hoped. You sneak a glance at the bar cart and try to hide your frown as you see a used cup and a half empty bottle of liquor.

You fight back the sting of tears in your eyes as you picture Sebastian sitting in here drinking, alone, on Thanksgiving when he should be surrounded by his family.

“W-where, uh,” you clear your throat, trying to keep it together. “Where’s your mom? Did she leave already?” Please say yes, please say yes, please say-

“No. In order for her to leave she had to have been here in the first place.” The blonde lets out a scoff and shakes his head. He gives you a smile that doesn’t quite meet his eyes as he grabs your coat from you, placing it on a nearby chair. “It’s fine, honestly, nothing new.”

Sebastian moves to sit on the couch and you waste no time in following him. You set the tin down on the coffee table and turn towards him, already feeling the anger bubbling up inside you over what Sebastian’s family has done to him yet again. “No, it’s not fine, Sebastian. Your mom promised you she would be here and she should’ve been. It’s not right.”

Blue eyes meet yours and you watch as Sebastian contemplates something before starting to nod his head. “You’re right, it’s not fine. It sucks. You know I actually thought she was gonna make it this time, for real.”

Rubbing a hand down his face, Sebastian sighs before pinching the bridge of his nose. You can tell in his tone, in his actions, that he’s really disappointed. It’s sad to say he’s gotten used to it over the years, but when it comes to holidays, it hurts a little extra.

“Where’d she jet off to this time? Let me guess; Aspen? Palm beach?” A small laugh escapes Sebastian’s lips. He hates the fact this is so typical of his mother that it’s so obvious to you she’d leave at the drop of a hat for some dazzling destination, but at the same time he’s grateful for it. Grateful he has someone to confide in, who understands him and sees past the bullshit reputation he’s got going for him. To everyone else he’s Sebastian Kydd, but to you he’s just Sebastian.

“Saint Bart’s actually. Guess she got an offer from Lucas she couldn’t refuse.” Blue eyes roll before settling back on yours. You can see the sincerity in them as Sebastian goes to speak again. “I know it’s cheesy but I always really liked Thanksgiving. Used to go to my cousins house in Jersey, play touch football, eat too much.”

Sebastian looks away from you, letting his eyes fall to his lap as he thinks back on the fond memories of what his life used to be like.

“That sounds really nice, Seb. That’s the kind of Thanksgiving you should have. That’s the kind you deserve.” Your voice is soft, earnest. You tilt your head to try and catch his gaze again, it doesn’t take long for him to look up. He could never not look at you for too long.

“Is it crazy that I sometimes think the money ruined everything? My mom stopped talking to her brother, so I never see that side of the family anymore. She got her new boobs, and nose, and seems like a whole new brain. It’s like she doesn’t care about things like Thanksgiving anymore.” The boy sniffs and it’s obvious how hurt he is over all of this, obvious how much he still cares about holidays and his family, even if his mom and dad have tried to change that.

“You do, though. And that’s great that you still care, it’s important. No matter how much your mom changes, or your dad, I know you won’t let that change you. Won’t let them change the good heart I know you have.” Sebastian smiles at you, a real genuine smile, but you can still see the sadness in his eyes, the pain.

“You always know just what to say, don’t you?” He whispers. “It’s too bad this good heart couldn’t change the fact I’m alone on one of my favorite holidays of the year.”

Instantly, you reach out and grab the blonde’s hand, wanting to ground him, wanting him to know you’re right here. “Hey, you’re not alone. You never were. As long as I’m around I won’t let you celebrate another holiday like this, not ever. You deserve to be surrounded by people who care about you, who love you.” Your breath hitches in your throat, but you quickly move past it, a faint blush coating your cheeks. “It’s not fair that your mom does this to you and expects you to be okay with it, for it to be normal. I know no one’s perfect and things happen, but no one should be left alone during the holidays, especially not by their parents.”

You can’t help the tear that slides down your cheek. Flashes of today flooding your mind. The good time you had, the laughs, the food, the comfort. All the while Sebastian was home alone with no one to give him comfort. No apparent warm meal or source of humor. Just disappoint of his own mother not showing up once again.

“Hey, hey, hey, don’t cry! Please don’t feel sad over this, I’ll be fine, really.” Sebastian moves closer to you, his hand reaching up to cup your cheek and his thumb wiping away the stray tear. “You know, I was sitting here, just thinking, and I realized you were the person I really wanted to see. I knew I could talk to you and you’d get it. Sometimes I feel like you’re the only person who really understands me. Who actually listens and doesn’t just jump to conclusions like everyone else in this town. I hope you know how much that means to me, how much you mean to me.”

Your heart soars at Sebastian’s confession. All you wanted was to let the boy know how much he’s cared for, how much he matters, and that he isn’t alone even if it may seem like it. If the look in his eyes indicates anything, you think you did a pretty good job.

Bringing your hand up to graze Sebastian’s face you smile before whispering, “I hope you know how much you mean to me, Kydd.”

A beat of silence passes between you, a look of pure bliss evident on both your faces, a million unspoken words being exchanged. Suddenly, Sebastian’s face is inching towards yours and you don’t think for a second about moving away. You accept the connection of his lips with yours wholeheartedly.

Sliding your hand to the back of Sebastian’s head, you let your fingers tangle in the waves at the base of his neck. The feeling of this moment is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. Sebastian’s full, pink lips are warm and soft; his scent enveloping the two of you, making you want to be even closer than you are right now.

Needing a breath of air, you break apart, soft pants coming from both you and Sebastian.

“So, world famous cookies, huh?” The blonde huffs out and you laugh while leaning your forehead against his.

“Yep, they’re shaped like turkeys too.”

“Oh, well these I have to try.” Sebastian gets up from the couch and you watch as he grabs the tin of cookies from the table. The smile and evident boost of happiness exuding from the boy makes you feel better, that maybe now he believes a little bit more that he does have someone who would choose him over a vacation any day.

“C’mon, Kydd, let’s get a drink for those cookies.” Standing, you go to move past Sebastian to get to the kitchen, but you stop when you feel him grab your hand.

“Thanks for coming, Y/N.” There’s a shy smile on his lips, and you can’t decide if it’s just the low lighting but you swear you can see a faint red tint on his pale cheeks. You know it’s not easy for Sebastian to be vulnerable, he doesn’t do it often, but when he does you know he means it.

“Anytime, Sebastian.” Taking a step towards him, you reach up and plant a quick kiss on his cheek, basking in the warmth of his skin on your lips. “Did you eat?You got any fruit and whipped cream, maybe some marshmallows? I don’t know how to make much but I can whip us up a mean ambrosia salad.”

Sebastian laughs and shakes his head as he follows you into the kitchen, a full range of groceries available for you to make whatever you please.

“Sure, sweetheart. I like ambrosia salad.”

#sebastian kydd #sebastian kydd x reader #sebastian kydd x y/n #sebastian kydd x you #sebastian kydd imagine #sebastian kydd imagines #sebastian kydd fanfiction #the carrie diaries #austin butler #austin butler x reader #austin butler imagine #austin butler fanfiction #austin butler x you #austin butler x y/n #austin butler imagines

[jerzwriter]

Easy As Pie

Based on a three-word ask from @icecoffee90! Thanks for the inspiration, my friend. I hope you like this little bit of silliness.

Book: Open Heart Characters: Aurora Emery, Jackie Varma, Sienna Trinh, brief appearance by Bryce Lahela Words: 512 Rating: Teen Summary: Friendsgiving has been arranged, and food assignments have been handed out. Aurora and Jackie didn't let their lack of baking experience deter them from agreeing to bake pies this year. After all, how bad could it be?

Full Masterlist | Open Heart Masterlist

It was the start of the holiday season, and finding a date to host Friendsgiving was not an easy task for a bunch of medical residents. But a week after Thanksgiving, the day was finally here, and the apartment was bustling with excitement as they prepared for their feast. Aurora and Jackie were brilliant physicians but not known for their culinary skills. But they weren't going to let a little thing like that stop them from agreeing to bake the pies for the event.

“How hard can it be?” Jackie asked. “We both managed to graduate at the top of our classes in Ivy League medical schools. We have to be capable of following a recipe, right?”

With said recipe and dozens of ingredients they had never purchased before in hand, they began their baking adventure.

Thirty minutes later and covered in flour, Aurora wore a bewildered expression. “Who ever heard of lemon zest? Is that even a thing? And why, why, why is zesting a lemon so difficult!” She complained.  

“I don’t know,” Jackie sighed, “but I’m about to deliver more bad news."

Ever the perfectionist, Aurora’s shoulders dropped. “What?”

“The apple pies in the oven....”

“Yeesss?”

“I may have confused the sugar with the salt in the recipe.”

“May have?” Aurora questioned.

“More like... I did.”

Aurora shook her head. “Well, I guess this is what happens when they stop teaching stop teaching How to Differentiate Between Sugar and Salt 101 at Harvard. I knew that was a poor decision! I don't think our pie adventure can get any worse.”

“Oh, no....” Jackie groaned. "It's about to get worse."

“What?” asked wearily.

“Don’t look now, but....”

The tiny baking master, also known as Sienna, buoyantly entered the kitchen with a glint of mischief and satisfaction in her eyes.

“Could you guys use a little help?” she smiled.

“Not if you’re going to tell us, ‘I told you so’,” Jackie sighed.

“Sorry,” Aurora said, removing her apron at once. “Jackie stands alone on this matter! You can tell me I told you so; you can tell me anything you want, just please, please take over this dreadful task!”

Realizing Aurora was right, Jackie eagerly handed her spatula to Sienna. 

“Clearly, I don’t have the skill set to use this,” Jackie stated.

“To use a spatula?” Sienna marveled.

“Let’s never tell my mother, OK?”

“I’ll keep Mrs. Varma in the dark,” Sienna grinned, “but only if you two stay and help me out. Not everyone gets to learn at the foot of a master!”

“You know, I’ve had her banana cream pie,” Aurora nodded. “I’ve got to admit... she is the master.”

Begrudgingly, Jackie agreed to stay. Now reduced to the role of taste testers, Jackie and Aurora watched in awe as Sienna produced three delicious pies with ease.

"I don't know," Jackie said as she licked chocolate icing off a beater. "I guess they were still teaching this course at her Ivy!"

When the friends gathered later that day, Aurora and Jackie had everyone in stitches as they regaled the stories of their culinary disaster.

“You didn’t know the difference between sugar and salt?” Bryce howled. “Wow! So what lesson have we learned?"  

Jackie jumped in to answer first. “I've learned that if Sienna isn’t available, I need to get my cheap ass to a bakery.”

“Orrrrr... we could just practice with Sienna and learn how to do it ourselves,” Aurora smiled.

“Oh, that’s the wine talking!” Jackie said with a shake of her head. “That’s just crazy talk. I’ve learned where my place is... and that place will never be the kitchen.”

Tagging separately.

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

#open heart #open heart fanfic #choices open heart #open heart choices #thanksgiving #jackie varma #aurora emery #sienna trinh #a little bryce lahela #choices fanfic #playchocies fanfic

[gretavangroupie]

Bloom (Chapter 8)

Chapter 7

Official Bloom Playlist

Warnings: Angst, Blood!!!, Fluff, Smut. 18+ ONLY. Minors DNI

A/N: Please make sure to check out the playlist above for the full effect while reading this chapter. As always, thanks for reading Merry Christmas!!

“You feel like home and everywhere I've never been, all at once.” - Butterflies Rising

You and Josh arrived back in Nashville the following Monday after a wonderful weekend in his hometown for Thanksgiving. You spent much of the next two weeks together, relaxing, cooking and planning your Christmas activities. Josh has been preparing for his first show back since they rescheduled them after San Antonio. He has rested and feels like he is back on top and ready to perform. Tomorrow the guys will all leave to play two consecutive shows in Atlantic City, New Jersey, returning home for a day before heading to Los Angeles for a week. 

Josh has begged you for the past two weeks to come with him and you reluctantly agreed since there is no bus travel involved. 

You are at your apartment visiting with Amelia, eating dinner, packing and catching up with her about all of the crazy things that have transpired in the last few weeks and promising to be around more. Your phone buzzes in your back pocket and you see Josh has texted you.

Josh: When are you coming home? 

Confused, you respond.

You: I am home? Im at my apartment right now? What do you mean?

Josh: That might be where your things live but I think you know where home is angel.

Not wanting to read too much into it, you reply quickly and shove your phone back into your pocket.

You: Soon.

Selecting your outfits for your trip you carefully pack them into a hard shell suitcase along with your toiletries and a box of tampons, knowing your period will be coming soon. Zipping up the case and bidding farewell to Amelia, you make your way back to Josh’s house. Walking inside you find Josh still packing his things meticulously in his suitcase, trying to shove it closed. 

“Ugh finally you’re back I need your help.” He says.

“You sit on this and i’m gonna zip it.” He says sitting you on his suitcase. The zipper glides closed with ease and you smile proudly. 

“See everything just works better when you’re here.” He says.

“Josh I was gone for like 3 hours, maybe.” You laugh.

“I know I just miss you when i’m here and you’re not.” He says.

Giving him a soft kiss on the cheek you change into one of his t-shirts and a pair of boxers and slide into the bed. 

“Tired, pretty girl?” He says placing the suitcase near the door. 

“Yeah, I am.” You reply knowing that its the fatigue starting to set in before the onslaught of your monthly visitor. 

“What’s wrong baby? Are you not excited for this weekend?” He asks sitting next to you on the bed.

“No I am, I just want it to be fun for you since its your first show back, but I am… about to have my time of the month and I’m not feeling the best.” You say nervously. You haven’t been with Josh while on your period yet, the time frames never lining up. 

“Oh, baby that's okay. Look if it makes you feel any better, that doesn’t bother me at all, in any way. I am going to make sure that you have fun this weekend and I will take care of you and pamper you the whole time. It will be great.” He smiles gently rubbing your hair. 

Leaning your head into his touch you nod yes. He gets up and changes clothes and crawls into bed next to you, spooning your body as you fall asleep next to him.

.

.

“Is that it?” You yell towards Josh who is in the house locking up before you head to the airport.

“Yep that’s it angel, we are ready to roll.” He calls back.

You have about 15 minutes to get to the airport to meet the guys before heading to Atlantic City.

As you pull into long term parking Josh asks how you’re feeling, you replying that you were doing okay today and him giving you a kiss on the cheek. You wheel your bags into the airport and check in at the ticket counter. You make it through to security where you see a girl snapping a picture of Josh as secretively as she can. You smile and laugh and push him ahead through the x-ray machine.

You both are pulling your shoes on as the girl approaches you both. “Hi are you Josh Kiszka?” She asks nervously.

“I am! How are you? Would you like a photo?” He asks the girl kindly.

“Oh my gosh, Hi, i’m great and yes if you don’t mind!” She replies happily.

“Baby?” Josh gestures as he hands you the girls cellphone. 

You take a few photos quickly before returning it to the girl who is absolutely gushing and thanking you and Josh profusely. You collect your things from the end of the belt and make your way to your gate, hand in hand. 

“Do you ever get tired of people asking for photos of you?” You ask as you walk.

“No, never… its sweet. They are always so nervous. I try to calm them down the best that I can.” He says.

He has such a kind heart, just one of the many things you love about him.

You approach the gate and see the rest of the guys and their girlfriends sitting chatting amongst themselves.

“Heyyyy I didn’t know you were coming!” Jake says enthusiastically towards you. The other girls clapping their hands excitedly at your presence. 

“Yeah, Josh wore me down” you say with a wink and elbow to his side.

“Good, we are gonna get into some trouble this weekend.” Sam jokes, his service dog Rose laying on the floor at his feet. Looking at her smiling, her tail gives you a small wag as a hello.

The flight in was short and sweet, only a little bit of turbulence from some bad weather moving through the area. You land and you all grab your luggage before a van delivers you to your hotel.  

As Lisa hands out room keys you wait patiently until she calls Josh’s name. He steps up taking the key and telling her thank you. He walks over to the group and asks them to meet him back here in an hour.

You and Josh make your way to your room and are immediately greeted with a gorgeous room overlooking the boardwalk. You can see the colorfully lit ferris wheel spinning in the distance. The room has a large king size bed, a full length mirror, along with a dresser, desk and a small couch. 

Josh opens his suitcase and begins hanging his clothes in the closet and placing his homey comforts on the bedside table. You excuse yourself to the bathroom only to find that, right on time, your period has arrived. You finish up and walk back into the room digging through your suitcase for the box of tampons. 

“Im sorry, baby. I mean, I guess it is a good thing.” Josh says sympathetically.

You nod your head agreeing before heading back to the bathroom to rectify the situation.

As you walk out Josh is sitting on the edge of the bed. “Come sit.” He says.

“Listen, you know I think you are the most beautiful woman in the world. I know you are not feeling good about yourself right now, but look. You are a woman. Your body is beautiful and is doing exactly what its made to do. Everything happening to you is natural and wonderful and you handle it with grace. I am going to continue to worship this body exactly as it should be. Including tonight…if you’ll let me. I want to show you how amazing it can feel to be completely consumed in each other in your most raw and natural state.” He finishes.

Jumping over his legs to straddle him you push him down onto the bed and lean over and press your lips to his. “Yes Josh, you can show me.” You say before standing up and going to look out the window. “We need to head back down there, they will be waiting for us.” You say.

You head downstairs and meet the guys in the lobby. Across the way is the entrance to the casino and you all make plans to try your hand at some slots after dinner. You enjoy a wonderful meal with lots of wine at the restaurant just down the street from the hotel. Afterwards you all head back and into the casino, most of you going for slot machines, and the others to the blackjack tables. 

An hour or so later you walk out with your winnings of $0.20, laughing at how Sammy lost $50.00. You are tired and smell like smoke from the casino but you remember what Josh has in store for the two of you as he slides his hand into the back pocket of your jeans.

“Still up for a little fun, angel?” He asks quietly.

“Only if you want to.” You reply.

He unlocks the hotel room door with the keycard and lets you in first. You sauntering across the room still tipsy from the alcohol with dinner, and the drinks in the casino.

He flops down on the bed with a deep sigh, “come here angel.” He says laying back.

You crawl between his legs, bending down and placing a kiss on his stomach, over his clothes. Feeling bold you unbutton his pants and hook your fingers into the hem dragging them down to let his dick be free. He is growing hard at the excitement of what’s happening, the soft kiss you place on the tip expediting the process.

You squat down off the bed and untie his shoes and remove his socks one at a time before pulling his pants completely off. with his legs hanging off the bed, bent at the knee. You sit up taller and grab the base of his length in your hand. He props himself up on his elbows to get a better look at what is happening. You make eye contact with him and as seductively as possible take him into your mouth, until you feel him at the back of your throat. You wrap your lips around him and slide back and forth never breaking eye contact. He throws his head back in pleasure a soft “fuck” leaving his throat. You continue and add a gripping motion to his base. Your other hand reaching up grazing your fingernails across his pelvis. As you continue to take him in, your tongue starts to swirl around the tip and he quivers under you. “Im gonna cum angel so pull off now if you want to.” He says urgently. You shake your head no, him still penetrating the back of your throat and with one good long stroke up his dick he cums spilling down the back of your throat.

“Jesus Christ, that was sinful." he says

You pull off of him standing up, taking your shoes and clothes off, leaving you standing in just your thong. Josh stands and takes the rest of his clothes off and makes his way to the bathroom, returning with a bath towel. He spreads it out over the sheets of the bed and turns back to you removing your panties. 

“Josh I have to go to the bathroom first…” you say and he nods understandingly.

You go to the bathroom and flush your tampon down the toilet, wash your hands and return to him. 

“Lay on that towel angel.” He instructs.

“The white towel?!” You say nervously.

“Angel they see this all the time i’m sure, don’t be ashamed.” He says rubbing his hands down your legs as you nod and lay on the towel.

“You know sex during your period is supposed to alleviate cramps?” He says. 

“I have heard that but, I've never tried. There’s never been anyone I’ve wanted to try with.” You reply.

“You’ve never had period sex before, angel?” He asks surprised.

“No.” You answer.

“I love you so much. I can’t believe you are mine.” He says. “Im going to be gentle, until you tell me not to, okay?” He asks.

“Please Josh…” you say, desperate for him.

He aligns himself with you, gently pushing into your cramping core with a groan.

It feels so good to have the pressure inside of you relieved by him. He begins to slowly rock his hips back and forth, the sound of your arousal filling the air. This is more of a wet sound than you’re both used to, and you feel his dick grow even harder. 

“God angel, this is something else.” He says as he continues. 

“Josh, you can be rough now. It’s okay.” You beg.

With that the pace of his hips pick up, his dick plunging deeper inside of you, the force of it pushing liquid out of you. As he continues you feel and hear a small spray leave you,  as you both realize that your blood has scattered across his torso. You feel embarrassed for a millisecond before Josh audibly indicates how much he loves it. 

Thrusting deep into you time and time again, liquid flowing freely from you, landing on the towel beneath you and adorning Josh’s pelvis. It all feels so good.

You do feel relief from your cramps as the coil inside of you tightens before your impending orgasm. You know that Josh isn’t too far behind by the moans he’s releasing. You can tell that period sex is something he is definitely into.

“My gorgeous woman. So fucking beautiful marking me with her blood. Fuck, I love you.” He says. Sending you rippling through your orgasm a small spray of arousal and blood hitting his base sending him into his own release. 

“Fuck, that was insanely hot. So primal.” he says pulling out of you, blood and slick coating his dick. “Stay there and let me watch.” He says watching his cum, tinted pink, leak out of you onto the towel. 

“Jesus Christ I’m going to cum again if I didn’t know better.” He says staring.

“Josh, stop…” You say blushing.

“You are a goddamn dream. Don’t ever think for one second that you aren’t… I will be damned if anyone ever does that to you, but me. ” He says getting up from the bed. He walks into the bathroom and turns on the shower before peaking his head out of the door  and saying “ready and waiting for you angel.”

He really is too good to you. That may have been one of the best orgasms of your life. Sitting up and swinging yourself off the bed, you hold the towel to your center as you walk, catching any excess fluids from dripping. You drop the towel on the bathroom floor and join Josh in the perfectly steamy shower. 

.

.

.

The next day when you wake Josh is gone but has left a note for you on the desk.

Went to find coffee…

x J

You smile at his cute handwriting, and set the note down and proceed to get dressed for the day. The guys will have soundcheck around 2:00 and Josh has demanded you come with him.

The venue is just around the corner in a different hotel. You straighten your hair and put on your outfit and lounge on the couch as you wait for him to return with coffee. You scroll through instagram and twitter and see nothing but excited comments from fans about the shows this weekend.

The door opens, Josh pushing it open with his foot with two coffees in his hand and a Starbucks bag hanging from his wrist.

“Its a good thing I love you…It was a mob scene at Starbucks, there were so many fans outside I had to send my mother in to get our order.” He laughs, “alas, here is your hot bean juice my lady.” He smiles.

Oh okay he is in a silly mood today. You love it when he is like this. He must be excited for the show. “Thanks baby!” You say happily accepting the large coffee.

“I also got you a muffin.” he says presenting you with a blueberry muffin.

“You’re the best.” You say kissing his soft pink lips. 

“Oh your nose is cold, how cold is it out there?” You ask.

“Uh frigid, I don’t know, wear a hat, a scarf, mittens whatever you have!” He jokes.

You laugh and kiss his nose.

Around 1:30 you Josh and the guys all meet in the lobby to head to the van to take you all to the venue for soundcheck. On the way the guys tentatively discuss the setlist for the evening and what they want to play for soundcheck. As you all enter backstage you see them check to see everything is set up how they want it and you and the other girls head down to the empty pit, your usual sound check spot. The guys play through a few songs, one oldie, according to Jakes girlfriend, and then they finish up and head back to the green room where you meet them. They will remain here for the rest of the day until it’s time for the show. You and the girls say your goodbyes and head back to the hotel to get ready. You all had outfits planned for the two nights of shows, coordinating to somewhat match color schemes. 

.

.

Arriving back to the green room later that evening, you are reunited with Josh and the guys who are now dressed in their stage outfits, and getting their rhinestones applied. Josh is walking around with his hot drink and cracking jokes for the girl who makes their social media videos. You hang out on the couch and he eventually makes his way over to you and sits down. 

“Are you ready?” You ask.

“Yeah I feel pretty good, my ear isn’t bothering me at all right now. Didn’t hurt after soundcheck so that is a good sign too.” He says, “I am so glad you’re here, the shows are just so much better when I know you’re out there watching.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world my love. You’re gonna do great tonight, and then you’re gonna take me back to the room and do whatever you want to me.” You whisper.

“That’s a deal angel.” He replies.

An hour or so later, the guys are stepping onto the stage and the fans are going absolutely insane. The energy the guys have on stage tonight is better than it has been in weeks. The crowd sings along to every song. They sway in unison to ‘Light My Love’ and you tear up knowing how much emotion that song causes people to feel. Your heart swells as you watch Josh and his brothers are living this dream. At the conclusion of the set, Josh takes a shot on stage with the fans and you use that as your cue and you and the girls head backstage from the sound booth.

A little while later the guys meet you back in the dressing room, they are all sweaty and ready for a drink. Josh walks up to you, wrapping his arms around you and dipping you down for a dramatic kiss. “Hello angel how was the show?” He asks standing you back up.

“Amazing as usual” you reply. You mingle with everyone while the guys take turns cleaning up and setting stuff up for tomorrows show. A while later you’re all bussing back to the hotel, tired from the long day.

You and Josh walk hand in hand to your room, both of you cold from the outside air. Getting into the room you can tell Josh is tired from the night. He hasn’t given a full on performance in over a month, the time off catching up with him. 

You change into your pajamas as you watch him. He grabs a pair of sweatpants walks over to the bed, slides his clothes of until he is completely naked, then sliding on the sweatpants. He goes into the bathroom and brushes his teeth before climbing into the bed. You scurry to the bathroom to brush your teeth and plug in both of your phones before getting in bed, turning off the lamp and curling into his open arms. 

“You know, you said I could have you any way I wanted you tonight? I want you to just hold me. I am so tired.” He breathes.

“I know baby, go to sleep. I'll still be here tomorrow.” You reply.

“Be here forever. Just like this.” He says before falling asleep in your arms.

The next morning played out differently than the first, Josh wised up and ordered coffee to the hotel from UberEats, thus avoiding the fans that knew he went there yesterday, and were inevitably waiting. You enjoyed your morning together reading in bed, cuddling and relaxing before getting ready to go for soundcheck again.

Josh told you that he had a surprise up his sleeve for the show tonight and to make sure you paid attention. After soundcheck ended, again you and the girls went back to the hotel to get ready. You made sure to look extra hot tonight since you and the guys were going out afterwards. A while later you and the girls walk into the green room to meet the guys before the show. Josh sees you enter and immediately jumps up and walks over to meet you. 

“Damn you look edible angel. I could fuck you right here right now.” He says quietly.

“Well that would be a mess, wouldn’t it?” You joke with a devilish grin.

“Ugh, you better stop before I get a massive erection before we go on.” He says.

“Wouldn’t be different than any other show, huh babe?” You say in a flirty tone.

His eyes about bulge out of his head and he runs his tongue along his teeth shaking his head. You can tell you are going to get it later.

The first half of the show was just as amazing if not better than the previous night. They played a few different songs and you were starting to form your favorites. After the drum solo, Josh talks to the crowd, and you see his eyes find you in the sound booth with a big smile and he says ‘ahh just like good sex…” before the lights fade to green and they play what you now know is ‘The Barbarians’.

You’re taken aback at his statement although you almost knew he was going to say something. This is the one he is throwing in for you and it is the sexiest song you’ve heard them play yet. You spend the rest of the show thinking about what you want him to play tonight while he has his way with you.

After wrapping up the show, and meeting the guys backstage, you wait as they get ready to go drink away the rest of the evening. You all end up at a bar close to the hotel, so that you can walk back when you’re ready. The guys are already pretty drunk by the time you arrive and you know that will make for a fun evening. You and Josh continue to make eyes at each other from across the bar all night. The guys are playing pool and the girls are sitting and watching from a table across the bar.  You down 4 gin and tonics before you start feeling fuzzy. Josh is taking notice of your loosened state and bids farewell to the gang before helping you up and wrapping his arm around your shoulder. As you walk outside the cold air slices through your clothes. It’s about two blocks to get back and it’s a fight against the wind the whole time. Once you step foot in the lobby both of you begin to thaw out. Your head feeling dizzy, the next thing you know the elevator is dropping you off on your floor. Then Josh is closing the room door, and undressing you. Flashing in and out of darkness you feel a little woozy. You try to pull yourself back into consciousness as Josh hands you a glass of water and sits you down on the end of the bed. You drink the whole glass.

“Maybe you went a little too hard baby?” He asks.

“No, I am fine. I just needed to sit for a minute.” You say. “I think I only had maybe 4 drinks? And I guess all the ones before we left.. okay maybe I did have a little much. I am feeling ok now I promise” you say as your hand slides up his leg. 

“Angel I need you to be sure you want to do this tonight.” He says. “I don’t know if I can be gentle and you're a little bit drunk.” 

“Even better.” You reply “but Josh?” You question. “Fuck me to that song.”

“What song?” He asks.

“The one you played tonight with the long guitar solo... towards the middle....” You say.

“Age of Machine?” He laughs out loud questioning you.

“Yes that one! It is pure sex, Josh. Especially after your little sex comment. Right in front of all those people! All I could think about for the rest of the show was fucking you to that song.” You replied confidently thanks to the alcohol.

“You want me to fuck you… to my own song…angel…” he says unsure.

“Please Joshy?” You say placing your hand over his bulge.

After an annoyed sigh he responds.

“Anything for you my love, but just real quick...you know it’s my brothers guitar that makes the song? I just want to be clear that you want me to fuck you while I listen to my brother playing his guitar?” He says sarcastically.

“Yep that’s right baby…” you say back.

“Fine. Strip, angel.” He demands walking to the bathroom.

When he returns he is in only his boxers with a towel in his hands. Grabbing his phone off the dresser and connecting it to a bluetooth speaker, he looks at you and shakes his head laughing. 

You hear a song start to play over the speaker as Josh walks over to you. He lays the towel down on the sheets and lays down on the bed laying his head on the pillows. 

“You’re on top first, angel.” 

You run to the bathroom and take care of your tampon before quickly returning to Josh who is laying on the bed gently stroking himself. You crawl over him and straddle his waist, your center sitting directly on top of his hard length. You lean over and and take his mouth with yours. Your tongues instantly finding each others tasting the remnants of the nights alcohol. His hands are on your hips pushing you down, grinding onto his dick back and forth. You can feel your wetness and it begins to slide easier. You push up from his lips and your hands are on either side of his head. He reaches his head up and bites down hard on one of your nipples. You scream out in pain. “There we go, that’s what I want to hear angel.” Josh says from underneath you. You lift up on your knees and grab the base of his dick aligning it with your center before slowly sliding down his full length. A moan escaping you from the fullness you feel inside of you. Placing your hands on his stomach you begin to rock back and forth in a wave motion, making sure you’re hitting your g spot with every forward motion. Josh grabs your hips thrusting into you from underneath with force sending a light splatter onto his base. He groans and as the evidence continues to marks his body over and over. As you feel your insides tightening you hear the opening notes to ‘Age of Machine’ and Josh makes a move to roll you over, still connected. 

You smile up at him and wrap your legs around him. He forcefully unwraps them grabbing them and pushing your knees into your chest just barely touching your chin. 

“You said you wanted me to fuck you to this song angel? Well, we are going to do it my way.”

He pounds into you in a thrust deeper than you’ve ever felt him before. A loud scream leaving your lips at the contact so far inside. 

“There baby, now that is how the song is intended to be enjoyed.” He says repeating the motion with force gritting this teeth as another scream leaves you. You feel the spray leaving your center and it seems to make Josh fuck you even harder as the irony smell fills the air. He brings one of your legs to rest on his shoulder and continues. As the guitar plays in the background and you hear Josh’s voice singing to you, you moan in pleasure.

“Hands and knees.” He says heavy breathed and sweaty.

Pulling off of him he is covered in sweat, your arousal, and your blood. You get on your hands and knees and he reenters you right as the guitar solo begins. He is rapidly thrusting into you at this point and a slap connects on your ass as you moan, “Josh, fuck I am going to cum.”

He grabs the hair at the back of your head grasping it and pulling your head back pounding into you twice more before your body shakes from your orgasm tearing through you. “Josh fuckkk…” you cry out. The sloshing noises continuing until he is cumming in side of you with one more hard thrust. “Fuuuuuckkk.” he moans. He pulls out and you stay in the position for another minute knowing he likes to admire his handiwork. “Gorgeous.” He says. You feel two fingers swipe up your slit and swirl around your opening catching the dripping release. He taps your ass, an indication that he is done and wants you to be comfortable. You are both a mess and Josh couldn’t seem happier about it. You both jump in the shower to rinse off the night and crawl into bed. You are laying in his arms as he twirls your hair. “You know I have never fucked anyone to one of my own songs before? That was a first for me.” He says.

“Really? I feel like you would have done that at least once or twice?” You respond.

“Nope, only with you.” He smiles kissing your head. He pulls the string on the lamp and you lay there curled together. “I love you so much Josh. I am so proud of you. You did amazing this weekend.”

“Thank you my love, it’s all because of you. My lucky charm. I love you more every day. I swear.” He says.

Kissing him softly on his lips you whisper your goodnights knowing you had a long travel day tomorrow before heading to Los Angeles this week. Thinking of your perfect man you let your eyes flutter shut and the darkness whisks you away.

You’re in the hotel room sitting reading a book on the couch overlooking the boardwalk. It’s night time and the room is dimly lit providing the perfect ambiance to your book. Josh isn’t back yet but you know he will be soon. You are turning the pages of your book and you hear a knock at the door. Figuring Josh must have left his key, you open it but to your surprise it isn’t Josh. It’s Jake.

“Hi Jake, what are you doing here?” You ask.

Leaning against the door frame his tongue slightly peaking out he smiles, “Lookin for you…”

“Me?” You respond.

“Indeed. Can I come in?” He asks.

“Sure, Josh isn’t here though?” You reply as he makes his way inside. 

“Not here for him…” he replies. He examines your body up and down with a smirk. You remember that you are wearing pajamas with no bra and get nervous, covering your chest with your arms.

“Its too late to hide now, sugar…” He says.

You stare at him shocked at what he is saying and shocked that you felt a rush of heat to your center. This is Josh’s brother, his twin brother. You shouldn't feel anything.

Jake speaks again, “Don’t be shy, I know you're turned on.”

“I don't know what you mean…I’m with Josh...” You stammer.

“You are so sexy you know that? The good girl thing really does it for me. Then you come out tonight with your tits all pushed up like that? I saw your glances all night, trust me. I noticed.” He says.

Your arousal growing heavier by the words leaving his mouth you stare at him. He stands up and walks towards you causing you to walk backwards until you are met by the wall.

“Your breathing is getting heavier doll, are you okay?” He says smugly knowing you won’t reply.

“Tell me, are you as good a girl as you seem? Because I don’t think you are… I think my brother got himself wild one didn’t he?” He asks tracing his index finger over your collar bone pushing your pajama top off to the side.

Your breath hikes as his fingers make contact with your skin. It is a similar electric feeling as that first time with Josh. Desire is swirling inside of you so fast that you know its getting to be too late to stop it. This is going to go one of two ways, bad or really really good. You didn’t want to admit to yourself that you’ve always found Jake attractive. Attractive in the way that he is your boyfriends twin, the forbidden twin. The one that brings the edge to make up for the softness of Josh. The one who brings the sex appeal and melts you with simple hand movements and fuck me eyes. You can’t say that you haven’t imagined this moment before, before quickly pushing it away into the corner of your mind. 

“I can see you thinkin doll, you want this to happen don’t you?” He asks.

You continue to stare at him. Knowing if you reply it’s all over. 

“Say it doll. You know you want this. Don’t think about what Josh will say. He knows. We all know. We can all see you want me just as bad as I want you.” He says. 

The thin string you were hanging by snaps and you reply “I do want you.”

In a fury his lips are on yours kissing you in a way so hard and so different than Josh. Its aggressive and needy and the exact opposite of your sweet Josh, but you kind of like it. The forbidden qualities shining through with Jake. 

“See I knew you weren’t a good girl. I knew you were hiding under there somewhere.” He says removing your top. He unbuckles his pants and unbuttons his button fly before pulling your pants off of your body. There you stand naked before him. Your boyfriends twin brother. Your boyfriends insanely hot, long haired, guitar god, twin brother.

You connect your lips with his again wrapping his long hair around your fingers and gripping tightly. His hands find your breasts squeezing them gently before pinching your nipples between his thumb and forefinger. 

A moan releasing from your throat causing his dick to grow harder against your bare stomach. 

“Damn and my brother gets to hear that whenever he wants? Criminal.” He says into your neck.

Suddenly he is picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder walking over to the bed before throwing your body down on top of the sheets. 

“I know you want me to fuck you as bad as I want to fuck you but we have to make this quick. Josh will only be gone for another 10 minutes. I made sure of that.” he states, pushing his boxers off, his dick hanging heavily between his legs. You stare at his length comparing when he stops you mid thought. 

"Not everything the same, huh?" He says, knowing he may have an extra inch on Josh.

Playing his little game you respond, “I'll be the judge of that.”

“There she is, keep going baby, make this memorable.” He says.

“Fuck me Jake.” You say with venom lacing your words.

His fingers run up your center collecting your slick before he coats the head of his dick with it. Lining up with your wet opening he pushes forwards and bottoms out inside of you. A groan releasing from your lips at the feeling of fullness inside of you.

“Jesus Christ you feel good doll. You are so tight.” He says as he begins to slow pull out and push back in. You wrap you legs around his calves and stare at him his bare chest adorned with a single pendant coin necklace. Grabbing the metal strand and pulling him closer to you, your lips capturing his and violent kiss. His tongue is swirling with yours in a way that you haven’t experienced. Again it’s very different than the way you and Josh typically kiss.

He starts to pound into you quickly. More aggressively and extremely vocally as a sheen of sweat begins to cover his body. “Fuck I can get why Josh never shuts up about fucking you…” he grunts “and I have to sit there and listen to it. Do you know what that’s like doll? Watching you with him, knowing that I can fuck you like this?” He says hitting your sensitive spot inside causing you to scream.

“Yeah scream for me doll. Let everyone hear how good this dick makes you feel.” He says continuing his movements. 

His fingers reach down and pinch your clit and the growing feeling in your stomach is starting to peak. “Ah you’re close aren’t you sugar, you’re gonna cum for me aren’t you? Say my name...I want to hear it on that pretty mouth.” He demands.

“Jake I'm gonna cum, don’t stop.” You beg.

“I'm not stopping doll, you just make those pretty sounds wrapped around my dick.” He says.

With those words you are shot into orbit, vision black and surrounded by twinkling stars. Jake's voice snapping you back as he moans at the extra wetness. “Your pussy is so tight doll I’m gonna cum, fuck. Do you want me to shoot inside of you or out…” he asks hastily.

“Inside…” you breathe

“Fuck, ok sugar. So bad letting me cum inside of you... All the while you’re with my twin. Goddamn your fuckin sweet.” He says grunting into you as you feel his release spray through you.

“Fuck you’re so good.” He says collapsing on top of you. “That’s what I always thought it would be.” He says kissing your neck one last time before jumping up and running into the bathroom. You lay there in shock.

He turns the shower on and peeks his head out the door, “Here jump in and wash this off before he gets back. Our secret huh sugar?” He says buttoning his pants. You get up and walk into the bathroom as he adjusts himself in the mirror. You get in the shower and by the time you get out, he’s gone. You get back in bed, and think for a while as you wait for Josh to return. 

You hear an alarm clock going off loudly and you can’t seem to find the source. You hear Josh’s voice echoing through the entire room and you open your eyes to find yourself in bed wrapped up in his arms confused at your surroundings. When did he get back? What's happening? Does he know?

“Good morning angel. Did you enjoy your dream?” He says smugly.

Oh my god, it was a dream. You had a sex dream. About Jake. 

“How did you know I was dreaming?” You ask.

“You were moaning, I thought you even had an orgasm there for a second.” He laughs.

“I think I did... Did I… say anything?” You ask nervously.

“No. It was a lot of pleasurable sounds to wake up to though…” he smiles kissing your face.

“Even in your dreams i’m taking care of you huh angel?” He asks.

Your heart drops into your stomach and you nod your head at him not wanting to think about what just happened.

As you get up and head to the shower you are filled to the brim with guilt. How could your brain do this to Josh. Why is this happening? Do you subconsciously have feelings for Jake? You push it all to the side as you stand under the shower spray. You finish your shower lost in your thoughts and come out to see Josh packing his suitcase up. You get dressed hardly able to look him in the eye you feel so guilty. Choking back your emotions you pack your suitcase up. You are quiet, and you know Josh can tell. 

“What is wrong angel? You’re not yourself?” He asks rubbing his hand down your arm.

“Oh, nothing baby. I’m fine. Just tired.” You reply.

“If something is wrong you would tell me right?” He asks with a concerned look.

“Of course.” You reply, knowing full well this is one of those thingse doesn't need to know.

As you check in at the airport for your flight back to Nashville you are handed your ticket and make your way to the gate. All of you chat amongst yourself until it’s time to board. 45 minutes later you hear them call your boarding groups and you head onto the plane. You suddenly realize that you and Josh are not seated together. He is 3 rows ahead of you sitting next to a stranger. He sits down and shrugs his shoulders at you. As you make your way to your seat you slide in next to the window and sip your water waiting to see who will be sitting next to you. Sam passes. Danny passes. The other girls pass. You make eye contact with Jake who nods at you and sits down in the empty seat. This is your living nightmare and he has no idea.

“Looks like we’re together.” He says.

You about choke on your water. 

“So it seems. I wonder why we are all split up?” You question.

“Ah, well it will be a quickie.” He says.

Your breath hitches again as you recall your dream yet again.

“Mhmm” you say reaching for your book.

“Whatcha got there?” He asks.

“Ahh its just a book I’ve been reading this weekend. I'm almost done.” You reply.

“Am I that boring that you’d rather read a book than talk to me?” He asks.

You feel the plane start to glide down the tarmac indicating take off.

“No, I just don’t want to bother you.” You say.

“Ah you’re not a bother darlin, you’re one of us now.” He says.

You stare at him, he is sort of beautiful in his own way. Stop it! You tell yourself.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” He asks.

“Like what?” You reply.

“Like you’re scared of me or something, I don’t know. I can’t put my finger on it.” He says.

You swallow hard and hold your breath as you feel the plane lifting off the ground. 

His hand pats the top of your arm, gripping the arm rest. And you suck in a breath.

“Nervous flyer?” He asks.

“A little bit today...” you say. Its not a lie. You are definitely nervous about this whole situation. You know he has no idea about your dream but god it felt so real you almost wonder if he had it too.

“Well, we will be fine don’t worry sugar.” He says with a kind smile. He leans over the arm rest into the aisle to see if he can see his girlfriend giving her a small wave and a smile. 

He sits back in his chair and blows out a breath. 

A while later he starts up a new conversation.

“You know, I’m really happy for you and Josh. I don’t think we have ever talked about it, but he really loves you and I’m glad you have each other. It’s a night and day difference for him.” He says.

“Thanks Jake, I love him too. He makes me really happy.” You reply. Still eaten alive by guilt.

“Good, he’s had a rough year, you know that though. When he is hurting so am I. So seeing him happy with you also makes me happy.” He says.

“Well I guess as long as he keeps me around, everyone will be…happy…” you joke.

“I don’t think you’re going anywhere darlin’. At least that’s what he told me.” He says.

“What do you mean?” You ask.

“Ah i’ve said to much. Just glad you’re in our life is all.” He says.

You let the conversation go and you turn to your place in your book and try to read for the rest of the flight even though your mind is racing through everything that has happened today. 

As you arrive back in Nashville you all say your goodbyes knowing you’ll be right back here tomorrow morning. You and Josh find his car in long term parking and get into the freezing cold cab.

“How was your flight my love?” Josh asks.

“Oh it was eventful, you know I was next to Jake right?” You say.

“I kind of saw that.” He laughs “I bet that was interesting, you two don’t talk very much.” 

“I always mean to, but I never know what to say.” You reply.

“Yeah he can be a little intimidating but I promise it’s all a facade. He is just like me with a tougher looking exterior.” He jokes.

“Yeah I guess you’re right.” You reply.

When you arrive back at Josh’s house you are met with the familiar feeling of home. It's smells, and comforts. You’re aren’t sure how Josh is able to do this all the time, leaving and returning. Its hard and you were only gone for 3 days, you can’t imagine it being months at a time.

Josh noticing you’re quiet again asks, “Baby, you are all in your head today. What is going on?”

“Nothing, Josh I promise. Just having an off day.” You reply. 

He raises his eyebrows at you, knowing you aren’t telling the truth but letting it go giving you a delicate kiss on the lips. 

He places an album on the turn table and you begin to relax and you sort through your suitcase removing the dirty clothes, replacing them with clean clothes and more outfits before you leave for LA tomorrow. Josh makes you both something to eat in the kitchen and you hear the song ‘Dirty Work’ by Steely Dan spinning, singing to your subconscious thoughts.

“When you need a bit of lovin’ cause your man is out of town, that’s the time you get me runnin’  and you know i’ll be around…. I’m a fool to do your dirty work, oh yeah…..I don’t wanna do your dirty work, no more, i’m a fool to do your dirty work oh yeah…..”

You feel a swirling feeling in your stomach like you’re going to vomit and run to the bathroom and sit on the floor. Why is the guilt eating you alive? You didn’t do anything wrong? Did you? You breathe deeply for a few minutes and collect your thoughts hoping Josh didn’t notice.

You hear footsteps and a knock at the door.

“Baby…” He questions.

“I'm ok.” You reply opening the door.

He stands there with his hands on his hips. “Quit lying to me. What is going on.” He says harshly.

Quickly running through all of the scenarios and what could possibly play out if you told the truth you decide on the the option with the best outcome.

“Josh I don’t know what to say…” You reply.

“Oh god what’s wrong?” He asks concerned.

“Can we sit?” You ask. 

You both sit down on the edge of his bed and you place your head in your hands.

“You’re scaring me angel what’s going on?” He asks nervously.

“Nothing is going on, nothing happened I am just…” you reply swallowing your nerve and telling the truth.

“Ok you know how last night when we had sex you were talking a lot, about your brothers and the music and we were so in the moment…” you stammer. “I don’t know if it was the alcohol mixing with my subconscious and your words or what… I just…”

“What, just say it…” he begs.

Taking a deep breath you respond. “I had a sex dream about your brother…” you say nervously looking him in the eyes. “It's eating me alive, that’s what you heard this morning. I feel so guilty and embarrassed and I haven’t been able to even look at you all day, I’m so sorry Josh.” You finish.

He stares at you blankly thinking about what you’ve said. Remembering your orgasm from this morning.

“Which brother...” He finally says.

“You know…don’t make me say it...” You reply.

“Say it now angel or it's only going to make it worse.” He snaps.

“Jake. It was about Jake. Im so sorry Josh, please.” You reply with tears in your eyes.

“Was it good?” He asks blankly.

“What?” You ask completely shocked.

“Was. It. Good. Did he fuck you real good in your dream, angel? Did he do all of the dirty little things you fantasize about?” He asks harshly shaking his head.

“I…Josh…” you say speechless.

Getting up and pacing around the room, he continues. “How long have you been thinking about Jake? Do you imagine him when I am fucking you?” He asks.

“Josh how could you say that? You know I love you…” you say, devastated he would even say that.

“Save it. I can’t believe the moans coming from your mouth this morning. All along I thought you were dreaming of me. Of course it wasn’t me…my own fucking brother. My twin. Why was I not enough? You are dreaming about fucking JAKE?!” he finishes teetering on anger. 

“Josh stop it” you cry. “Don’t you think I feel guilty? I love you. I don’t know why this happened!” You cry to him.

“Answer my question.” He says.

“What question?” You reply.

“Was it good? Did you like it? Tell the truth.” He demands.

“Josh, I…” You stop not wanting to finish the sentence as the tears freely flowing from your eyes.

"Answer!!" he yells at you.

You burst into tears, "Yes!"

A pissed off sigh coming from his chest he walks over to you, your face streaked with tears, taking it between his hands. “Go home…” he says behind his teeth, brushing his thumbs over your cheeks.

“I thought you said... this was home…” you say crying harder.

“Not anymore.” He says, releasing your face forcefully and walking away.

“What about LA?” You ask, scared to hear his answer.

“I'm going alone.” He replies coldly.

Throwing yourself back onto the bed your crossed arms cover your face as you quietly sob into them as Josh leaves the room.

Laying in his bed wondering if it’s the last time, you breath in his smells remembering this moment, You pull yourself up, looking at yourself in the mirror. Puffy eyes, swollen with tears. Your heart broken over something you couldn’t control. You’ve lost him. You collect your things and catch a glance at the polaroid tucked into the frame on his side table. A photo from Sammy’s camera that he took over Thanksgiving. A photo of you and Josh dancing in his living room, your smiles genuine and covered in love. Everything was perfect. Your heart breaks a little more.

You roll your suitcase out to the living room and Josh is gone. You see a plate of food set set neatly for you on the counter, remnants from earlier in the evening and you cry again. 

You call out for him, but the house is silent. His car is gone.

You load your things into your car and as you pull away from his house you wonder if it will be for the last time, another sob ringing out from your chest. The realization of how much you actually love him becoming evident. 

As you unlock the door to the apartment you see Amelia sitting on the couch watching tv and your eyes meet hers and she knows. You don’t even have to say anything and you she running to your side. 

“Oh god, pen. Is it really bad?” She asks.

You nod your head and collapse into her comforting hug and explain everything, so thankful you have her. 

.

.

.

You haven’t heard from Josh. It’s been days. You know he is in Los Angeles and you’re supposed to be there with him. You had a whole day planned together just you and him doing Christmas activities. Now you’re at your apartment alone and heartbroken. You check your phone constantly waiting to hear from him. But nothing ever comes. Checking social media, but he never posts. He’s completely silent. Amelia drags you out of the house to do some Christmas shopping and you can’t help but see a thousand things that remind you of him. As you walk around an antique mall you spot an item that you know was put there for you to find. Even though you and Josh are not speaking, you purchase the item, knowing that it is the perfect gift. Even if you have to leave it on his porch, you know it is destined to belong to him. You take the item home and wrap it delicately in brown paper. That night when you check social media you are presented with a tagged post. The guys are in a restaurant in LA and they are drinking and look so happy and you are crushed. He looks so happy. You miss him so badly but don’t reach out. You can’t.

You convince yourself to watch the livestream of the guys performance tonight even though you know it’s just torturing yourself. As you see them walk up to be interviewed your eyes fill with tears. Josh looks amazing and happy. It hurts knowing you are here like this and he is there completely unaffected. They all smile and laugh and are glowing together. You can’t believe you ruined everything. A while later they take the stage but something is off. Their moods aren’t the same. The crowd is almost empty and quiet. You can see the frustration on Josh’s face. He is tired, and out of breath. They are rushing through the set, and as quickly as they started its over. This was their last show of the year and you know he won’t be happy with how they left things. You feel for him and again want to reach out but don’t.

One, two, three more days pass. Still you have heard nothing.

On the fourth day you wake up to a text message.

Jake: Call me.

You feel like you’re going to throw up. You can’t call Jake? That is adding more fuel to the fire. Why is he texting you? You think on it for a few more minutes as your finger hovers over the contact and you hit the call button.

“Hello?” He answers.

“Hi” you reply shakily.

“Hi” he replies. “How are you doing?” He asks.

“I’m not great Jake, I think you know that.” You quip back.

“I do, and I'm sorry.” He says, “Have you heard from him?”

“No.” You respond.

“I figured as much. You need to talk to him.” He says. “Go to his house.”

“I don’t know Jake he pretty much told me to leave and was gone before I left. I haven’t heard from him since. I think he is done.” You say.

“Hes not. Just trust me.” He says.

“Okay.” You reply.

“So you’ll do it. You’ll go?” He asks.

“When I gather up enough courage, yes.” You say.

“Do it soon. Please.” He begs.

“Okay, I will.” You say.

“Thank you, we miss you, you know...” He says

“I miss you guys too.” You reply

“I hope everything works out. I’ll talk to you later.” He says.

“Thanks Jake. Bye.” You say ending the call.

Well that was odd. You think about what he said. You thought you and Josh were done, but maybe you weren’t after all. You talk to Amelia and she agrees that maybe you just need to go talk to him face to face now that some time has passed. You get yourself ready and give yourself about 10 pep talks to keep yourself from backing out. You get into your car and head over. The worst thing that can happen is that he can tell you he is done and to go home. As you pull into the driveway you see his car and get a horrible wave of nervous energy in your stomach. You try to breathe and center yourself. As you get out and walk to the door you are still shaking with nerves. You knock on the door three times and wait.

The door opens and he stands there staring at you blankly, fresh out of a shower, wrapped in a towel.

“Do you always answer the door naked?” You ask shyly.

“Well I wasn’t expecting anyone...” He replies with the tiniest hint of a smile. “Come in.” He says.

As you walk in it no longer feels homey you feel strange and uncomfortable. You sit on his couch, and he tells you he will be right back. A few minutes later her returns fully clothed and sits down in a chair next to the couch. 

“Josh, I….” You start, you are unsure of how to explain how you feel but you hope he will understand if he just listens. “Im so sorry.”

“I know you are. He replies. 

“I never meant for any of this to happen. I love you so much. Only you. I don’t even know why I had that dream. It meant nothing to me….” You say.

“I know.” He says. 

“Can you say something? Anything other than I know? I am trying to make this right. I'm getting the feeling that you don’t want to do that.” You say.

“What do you want me to say? That you broke my heart? That you broke my heart thinking about fucking my brother? And that you enjoyed it? I have given you everything I have! I love you, I wanted it all with you! I just don’t know how I can get past this… it hurts.” he says.

“You left me here. I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye.” you say.

“I know. I had to know.” He says.

“Know what?” You reply.

“When I left here I drove straight to his house. I asked him if he had any feelings for you. To which he obviously said no. I told him what happened and told him that if there was anything going on he needed to tell me right then. He told me I was insane and that he would never do that. That I needed to go back to you before I ruined everything. When I got home you were gone.” He said.

“You told me to go Josh…” You say with tears in your eyes. 

“I know, I did but I didn’t think you would actually do it! I just knew I would get back in time but you were gone. I thought that meant you…” he swallows back his own tears.

“Josh no…” you say reaching for his hand. “I love you. Only you. Never anyone else. How could you possibly think…” you say fully crying now.

“I don’t know, I know you love me but I just… I over reacted and I was cruel and I thought I lost you. I almost came to you that night but I was afraid you would turn me away. And then I was in LA and I was miserable. But I couldn’t call you. I didn’t know what to say. Then Jake and I argued before the show because I just couldn’t let it go. I got too drunk that night and fought with everyone… everyone was pissed at me. My life has been a mess the past week and I didn’t have you, and everything just seemed really bad. Too bad. I finally talked to Jake last night and he helped me realize that I can’t do this without you. Any of it. I didn’t know how to make things right between us. I was going to let you go. Now you’re here and I still don’t know what to say other than I love you so much and I am so sorry. ” He finishes.

Launching yourself into his lap you sit straddling him and just cry on his shoulder. His arms wrap around you and pull you closer. 

“I'm so sorry baby I never wanted this to happen. This was the worst week of my life, watching you sing from my bed, heartbroken. I thought you were happier without me there. The pictures were so convincing and I was so devastated.” You cry into his chest. “I will never want anyone else, only you Josh. Please believe me.”

“I do believe you angel.”

Your lips reuniting with a passionate kiss, his hands desperately gripping you to him.

Pulling away, you say “You know he called me and told me to come to you right?"

He stares at you.

“He told me to come here, to come to you. He loves you so much Josh, he was devastated for you. He cares about you so much. We both do. How could you ever think…” he cuts you off with his lips on yours again, his tongue finding yours, telling you everything he couldn’t say for the past week and a half.

You lips connected, he stands up from the chair carrying you to his bedroom and gently places you on his bed. 

“Please let me love you angel.” He says.

“Please Josh...” You beg. 

You are desperate for his touch, to feel him again.

You both quickly remove your clothes and find each other again under the sheets. 

“I never want to feel the feeling I felt when I came back and you were gone.” He says kissing your neck. “That was the worst pain I’ve felt in my life. I thought you were gone for good.” 

“I will never leave you Josh.” You reply.

“Promise me.” He says lining himself with your center.

“I promise. Everything I have.” You say as you feel him slowly push inside of you. 

This sex is different, it’s slow and filled with emotions. There isn’t an urgent moment. Every single second is spent with Josh reverently worshipping every inch of your body and you his. You both work slowly towards your release, sharing with each other every raw emotion and feeling in between the seconds. After you both come down from your orgasms he whispers into your hair, “I will love you forever my angel. Please never go.”

“Never.” You reply.

.

.

You and Josh become absolutely inseparable from each other over the next few days. You and he sharing a new found connection that brings you closer than you ever thought you could be. The days are spent watching Christmas movies together and enjoying just being together. Josh has asked you to come home with him for Christmas with his family and you can think of no better way to spend it. 

.

.

Christmas Eve at Josh’s childhood home proves to be nothing short of magical. Everyone is here and you feel so much love for all the people around you. Karen and Kelly have decorated the house with lights, and the inside is just as beautifully decorated as the outside. You spend the evening around the fireplace laughing, telling jokes and stories from years past. Sammy and Jake are completely wasted on eggnog and playfully bickering with one another as you all cheer them on. As you watch them, Josh stands up and pulls your hand up with him. 

“Come with me.” He says.

You follow behind him as he drags you by your interlaced fingers.

He leads you to the Christmas tree in the basement, squatting down and retrieving two small boxes from under the tree. 

“Josh, Christmas is tomorrow!” You say.

“I know and there will be things to open tomorrow too, but these are special. For me and you only.” He says.

“Fine then you get to open your special gift too.” You say retrieving the one you brought for him.

He hands you the small box, and you both sit down on the floor. He nods at you to go ahead with a huge smile on his face. You slowly unwrap the package and open the little white box. Your heart swells when you immediately recognize what it is. Its a gold necklace with a ‘J’ initial pendant. It is the necklace he has worn every night on his tour. 

“I want you to have it. Every night when I would put it on I would imagine what it would look like around your neck. My name. You were always meant to have it.” He says with his hand on your knee. 

“Oh Josh, I love it so much. Thank you. It means so much to me.” You say with a kiss. 

You put it on and clasp it around your neck.

“Its perfect. Exactly like I pictured it. Even better actually.” He replies lovingly. 

“Your turn! Gosh I hope you like it.” you say nervously.

Josh unwraps the gift pulling out a vintage leather-bound notebook with a worn cover. Inside the first page you have written a note.

“For all of your brilliant ideas. Don’t forget to live your dream, too. I love you forever."

Wiping a small tear from his eye, he then pulls out of the box, a super vintage handheld film video camera with a bright red bow attached. 

“I hope you like it, I saw it when you were in LA and thought of you.It broke my heart and I knew you were meant to have it. I didn’t know if I was going to see you again though. I was going to leave it on your doorstep, but this plan works out better.” You say giggling.

“You are the most amazing woman. The love of my life. It’s the best gift I have ever received.”

“I'm glad you like it, I love you so much Josh. Merry Christmas.” you say.

“Merry Christmas my love, although I do have one more for you. If… you want it.” He says playfully.

“Okay, only if you’re sure.” He says.

“Never been more sure than right now.” He smiles, handing you the box.

 You unwrap it the paper and open the box and there is a gold house key with a red bow tied to the top.

“Move in with me…” Josh asks. “I know you practically live with me now, but I want you there all the time. All of your things. I want to come home to you. Every late night at the studio, every long leg of tour…. I want you. If you can’t be with me there, at least I know you’ll be at home. Our home. ” He says.

“Are you… sure Josh?” You ask clutching the key in your hand.

“I have never been more sure of anything in my life angel. I love you, I want this with you. All of it. Always. ” He says.

You kiss his soft warm lips as you respond throwing your arms around his neck. 

“Yes.”

.

.

.

.

fin

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[thisdreamplace]

Hi dream. It’s 😵‍💫 anon again.

I actually haven’t been on here in a bit bc I was tired & embarrassed of spreading my misery lol. So much has went on with my life since my last message on Thanksgiving. It’s been going as it always does. I fell into the law of assumption trap again last week. I saw in a response to an anon, you said that a lot of us have trauma from the law, which is true. Every time I go back to it, I regret it again haha. It’s such a heavy subject. I watched Sammy Ingram. I tried to force it again. I just knocked some sense into myself an hour ago, “girl, what the hell are you doing?” I know how it ends every time. I’m caught in this place of not understanding if the magic truly is out there or if I’m wasting time. The last of my teen years were spent with trying with the law. I fell flat every time. Although I’m nowhere near okay right now, I still reflect on how painful the journey of the law had been for me. I’m just asking myself if I want to keep feeling the lows of it. I don’t, but without it, what will I do? I have some many dreams. If I were to cut it loose and say “I’m okay if this doesn’t happen”, it would never happen. I needed the law to work. I say NEEDED simply because it gets tiring. Tiring to a point that the desires feel bitter now. I think that is why the community has died down. It’s tired. I’m not sure what put it in some of our heads that we have to make ourselves miserable just to reach. It’s sad to think about. I was a child stuck in this loop. I found subliminals. I haven’t been normal since then. This is a sad tale, but I hope other people can break free from it. Too many are stuck, me included. In some way, law of assumption coaches are stuck too. Your page is a place to become unstuck.

After that coming to my senses moment earlier, I actually felt lighter letting go of the forced affirmations again. I’m not okay, but I think everyone can understand how heavy the law can feel on your back. Now….I’ve just sat with my negativity. I don’t know what to do with it all. I always look to find someone else who is feeling like I am, but I truly don’t want anyone to. I hope everyone who has been negatively affected by the laws can recover. It truly is crazy. I wonder if there will be a documentary on Netflix one day. “Surviving the Laws” lmfao.

I didn’t have a main point for this message. Your point just brought up some words in my mind…. like yeah, we’ve been traumatized. 😂😂😂

I hope you’ve been doing well, Dream. How’s life going? Happy New Year btw!!!!

hiii lovely 😵‍💫 anon

ahh i remember when sammy first blew up and uh.. yeah. def glad that didnt last hahahah i wouldnt ever rec her to anyone knowing what i know now, but i get it. sometimes we fall back and that's just normal and not a big deal.

this really stood out to me though, "if i were to cut it loose and say, "i'm okay if this doesn't happen," it would never happen." hmmmm this is very far from the truth. and the hard realization is realizing... you not cutting it loose hasnt made it happen either. :/ the law is extremely paradoxial and until we surrender to that fact, we continue to struggle and struggle. fighting and wanting and wanting and wanting. and never making it pass the phase of wanting, or even if we do, we quickly find ourselves back in the wanting phase again because that is what it is. if we cannot stop wanting, if we cannot stop hoping something will happen for us to finally be happy... then we keep waiting for that day we can finally be happy. this is maybe the hardest part in all of this. allowing the paradox. that when we actually cut loose and stop needing whatever to pass, that is when it happens. when we could enjoy life, even just a little, with the very little that we have in front of us, the thing we wanted most appears. sometimes we have to create our own magic, not continue waiting on life to bring it to us.

i understand you entirely when you say you get tired, and the desire feels bitter. because ohmygosh that was meeeee. at some points, i became entirely resentful towards what i had thought i wanted the most. i also agree this is why the community has died down, and many are moving to a more non dualistic lifestyle bc its much more freeing than the manifestation trap. everything you're saying is so relatable to me a few years ago, and thats why i have remained on this page. to be some sort of source of help, to share my own journey and hopefully it can encourage and inspire others. :')

LOL but imagine. i think that would be a great documentary, bc seriously so many people would be able to speak out and it would be so relatable. and it would show people that there is a way out. we truly didnt find the law for nothing, it leads us to something greater eventually. the law was always meant to lead to the promise, you know ? so for that, its not all terrible. but its true that a lot of us hurt ourselves and traumatized ourselves a lot in the process, and it doesnt help that so many loa coaches at the same supported that kind of suffering.

anyway, thanks for popping in again !! i've been doing really well tbh, the new year is going really well. i've made some big changes in my life, like moving abroad and i'm already loving it but having to learn how to live somewhere completely new. the days are so beautiful here and lately and its the small things like that which just make me happy to be here <3

[whimsicallyenchantedrose]

Thanksgiving Reruns 2023 Day 2: Thankful

It is crazy to me that it’s already time for this, but the holidays have officially arrived!  I would like to wish all my followers who celebrate it a very happy Thanksgiving.  As a thank you to you (as well as my followers who DON’T celebrate), I present you with 3 Thanksgiving related stories I’ve written in the past.  Enjoy!

Title: Thankful

Rating: G

Words: 2705

Summary: Pre-7x2 deleted scene.  The Swan/Jones/Charming/Mills family gets together for Thanksgiving dinner.  This year, Emma and Killian have something extra special for which to be thankful.

 Other Chapters: 1 3 4 5

CS Genre:  Deleted scene, pre 7x2

Growing up, Emma remembered the holidays as a cold, dreary, depressing time.  Everywhere she turned there were happy families, basking in the joy of the season.  Bright red and green decorations everywhere.  Singers crooning about the happiest time of the year.  Movies and tv shows about the joy and magic of the holidays. 

All it ever did was remind Emma of what she didn’t have. 

But that had all changed when she came to Storybrooke and found her family and her true love.

Emma woke early on Thanksgiving morning, a bright smile on her face and a song in her heart.  She lay pleasantly cocooned in a mountain of quilts, her husband’s warmth surrounding her, his arm slung over her waist, his hand splayed across her still-flat belly, holding their child close.

It was incredible how much her life had changed in just a few short years.  She missed Henry like crazy, especially during the holidays, but other than his absence, her life was about as close to perfect as it was possible to get.

Well…almost.  Emma felt her stomach roil as the ever present morning sickness reared its ugly head.  She took deep breaths, willing the nausea to subside, but after a minute or two she realized it was useless.  Moving as gently as possible so as not to disturb Killian, she got out of bed and nearly sprinted to the bathroom.

She loved this baby with everything in her already, but anyone who suggested pregnancy was fun needed to be committed.  Funny, she didn’t remember the first trimester being this miserable with Henry.  Oh she’d been a little more tired than normal, and she’d felt a bit sick for a couple of weeks, but it was the emotional turmoil that had been the worst.

It seemed getting pregnant in your early thirties was far different than getting pregnant in your teens.  Still, despite the unbelievable fatigue, the morning sickness that seemed to last most of the day, the constant weird cravings, and the times she felt faint, she wouldn’t trade this for anything.

Emma rinsed out her mouth, gargled a bit of mouthwash, splashed some water on her face and padded back to the bed.  Killian sat up in the bed, his hair delightfully tousled, and looked over at her in concern.

“Swan?” he asked, pulling up the covers and welcoming her back into the shelter of his arms, “are you quite well, love?”

Emma chuckled humorlessly.  “Killian, this kid of yours is trying to kill me.”

If possible, Killian looked even more concerned.  “Shall I ring the doctor?”

Emma laughed again.  “Killian we’ve talked about this.  I’m fine.  A bit miserable, but fine.  Besides, I think if you call Whale one more time to freak out about a little routine morning sickness, he’s going to come over here and beat you with his stethoscope.”

Emma loved having a husband who wanted to take care of her during her pregnancy, one who loved and wanted this baby at least as much as she did.  She loved Killian for it, but his whole concerned husband/mother hen routine had gotten old by about the second day they’d known about the pregnancy.

“Are you sure you should be lifting that love?” he’d asked, as she reached for the throw pillows that decorated their bed.

“A pillow, Killian?  Seriously?”

Later in the sheriff’s station, he’d been even worse.  “Swan, I’m not altogether sure you should go out on that call.  Wouldn’t want anything to happen to you or the baby.”

“Killian, Dopey and Doc got into a fender bender.  Just how dangerous do you think responding to that is going to be?”

“Perhaps you’d best take a rest in one of the unoccupied cells, love.  You must keep your strength up,” he’d continued.

“Killian stop fussing!”

But the last straw had come when Killian called Whale for the fifteenth time in the first week, concerned about her fatigue and nausea.

“Killian,” Emma said firmly, “I love you with all my heart.  I would go (and have gone) through hell for you, but I swear if you don’t stop hovering I’m going to turn you into a ferret.  I’m pregnant, not an invalid.

He’d gotten much better since then, but he still watched her like a hawk, ready to come to her assistance at the slightest indication it was needed.

Emma settled into the bed, kissed her husband, and prepared to catch a few more z’s when her stomach growled loud enough to wake the dead.  Killian chuckled.  “Our lass is demanding nourishment now, is she?”

It was, of course, far too early to know the sex of their baby, but Killian was sure they were having a daughter, and Emma had to admit she had the same feeling.

“She’s famished, as always,” Emma said.  “Guess it’s time to get up and see what’s for breakfast.”

Killian stopped her with a gentle hand to her shoulder.  “Stay put love.  Let me bring my girls breakfast in bed.”

Her heart turned over at the love in his eyes, the way he always wanted to do little things for her.  “Certainly not going to turn down an offer like that.”

“And just what does my little princess wish for her morning repast today?”

Emma grinned.  “Okay, I know this sounds totally disgusting, but do you know what I’m craving like crazy right now?”

“I couldn’t even begin to guess what noisome combination of food items you desire today,” he said.

“What I really want is a couple of my blueberry Pop-Tarts and a big dill pickle.”

Killian pulled a face, but dutifully shuffled off toward the kitchen.

Emma settled back against the pillows and smiled, putting a protective hand over her belly as she waited for her breakfast.  Today was a big day.  Today was the day she and Killian told the family their big news.  Killian had been so excited when she told him about the baby six weeks ago that he’d been ready to call her father (and his best mate) on the spot, but Emma had stopped him.

“Killian, would you mind terribly if we waited a bit to tell people?” she’d asked hesitantly.

He’d given her a surprised look, but then slowly shook his head.  “I suppose not, love, but why shouldn’t we share our joy?”

She’d shrugged.  “I don’t know.  It’s just so…new and exciting.  I was kind of hoping we could celebrate privately for a while, 67+have this incredibly amazing secret just between the two of us.”

He’d agreed with her, and in the end, they’d decided Thanksgiving day would be the perfect time to tell the family.

“Your grandma and grandpa are going to be so excited to find out about you, baby,” she whispered softly.

Emma had more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving than she ever had before.

~c~s~c~s~c~s~c~s~c~s~

Thanksgiving dinner had become somewhat of a tradition for the Charming/Swan/Jones/Mills family over the years.  The first Thanksgiving dinner they’d had together wasn’t actually on Thanksgiving at all.  It was in the middle of the spring, just after the Black Fairy had been defeated.  The whole gang (including Rumple, Belle and a newly baby-ized Gideon) met at Granny’s for lasagna and Regina’s famous apple turnovers.  Snow had insisted they go around the table and list something they were thankful for.  Despite some snark and grumbling (mainly from Zelena), everyone had complied, and a new family tradition was born.

Ever since that day, Thanksgiving dinner had moved to the appropriate day, near the end of November.  Granny’s had hosted them for the first couple of years, but when Anton finally succeeded in getting his newly planted magic bean fields to yield, she’d taken to realm hopping over the holidays so she could spend time with Ruby.  Now they all took turns hosting.

This year, the Mills sisters had the honor of hosting the big family dinner.

And so it was that early in the evening, Emma and Killian walked hand in hand into the mayor’s mansion, proffering a bottle of rum as a hostess gift.

“This looks like the good stuff,” Emma said, as Killian rang the doorbell, and they waited to be welcomed in.  “Too bad I won’t be able to drink it for a good seven months.”

“Don’t worry love,” Killian said with a wink.  “I’ll drink enough for both of us.”

For that, he received a (somewhat) playful smack.

Zelena opened the door with an eyeroll.  “About time you two arrived.  You’re ten minutes late.  After hours of slaving away in the kitchen (which is torture without magic), if you ruined a single dish there will be hell to pay.”

“Happy Thanksgiving to you too, Zelena,” Emma said with a grin.  “Sorry, we were just…um…delayed a bit, and lost track of time.”

She prayed her face wasn’t flaming as much as she suspected it was.  Another side effect of this pregnancy seemed to be that she wanted her husband.  Like all the time.  And Killian, good husband that he was, was always up to the task.  It’s possible they might have gotten carried away this afternoon and been so lost in each other that they totally forgot there was even such a thing as Thanksgiving.

Zelena looked back and forth between them for a moment, and then dramatically rolled her eyes.  “Can we just have one day where we’re not all nauseated at the thought of the two of you constantly getting it on?”

Killian smirked as he looked down at Emma, his look pure sin and wickedness.  “I wouldn’t count on it.”

And Zeus help her, but she was ready to drag Killian into the nearest private space she could find and have her way with him again.  Pregnancy hormones were going to be the death of her (and possibly the death of her pirate as well, considering the look her dad shot him as he walked into the foyer just in time to hear that little exchange).

The Golds had left on their big world tour some five or six years ago now, and of course Henry was off trying to create his own story, but even so, the Mills sisters’ dining room table was nearly filled to capacity between the Charmings, the Swan-Jones’s, the Mills sisters and the two rambunctious kids.  (Seriously, Neal and Robyn could get into more trouble together than any ten children Emma knew growing up in group homes.)

Emma settled in with Killian on one side and her mother on the other.  Snow leaned over and gave Emma a motherly one-armed hug. 

“Something’s different about you today, Emma,” Snow said with a smile.  “You’re positively glowing.”

Emma smiled and on impulse hugged her mom back.  “I’m just happy, mom,” she said meaning it with her whole heart.  “These big family get togethers are more than I ever could have hoped for, despite the inevitable snark-off between Regina and Zelena.”

Snow smiled gently.  “I’ll always regret all the years we missed together, but the fact that we can have these moments now, well it’s what I’ve always wanted for our family.”

Dinner, consisting of all the traditional Thanksgiving favorites, was delicious.  Emma always secretly loved it when Regina and Zelena hosted Thanksgiving, because magic or no magic, they were amazing cooks.  Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, homemade dinner rolls, sweet potatoes and steamed vegetables.  All of it was delectable.  This year, however, the cranberry sauce nearly made her stomach turn.  Right then; so baby Swan-Jones did not like cranberries.  It took a few moments of deep breathing and swallowing hard, but luckily Emma was able to push the nausea aside and finish her dinner in peace.

David waited until they’d finished eating, everyone feeling like they’d burst if they consumed another bite, and then stood at the head of the table, clinking his glass.

“Well now that we’ve eaten, you all know what time it is.  It’s time for everyone to share what they’re thankful for.  Regina, as hostess, do you want to start?”

Regina smiled, waved her hand and produced a small piece of paper.  “I’m grateful for this letter Henry managed to get to me yesterday.  He’s doing well, and he’s having all types of adventures.  Okay, Zelena.  Your turn.”

Zelena took a sip of her rum.  “I’m thankful Leroy caught laryngitis.  His constant town crier act got old about ten years ago.  Robyn, darling?”

The little red head grinned, showing off a missing tooth or two.  “I’m thankful Mother Superior never found out it was me that put the ‘Shady Blue’ sign on her back.”

This, of course, resulted in admonishment from most of the adults, but Emma turned away to hide her grin.

“Neal, you’re next.”

Neal Nolan, frowned with all of his eight-year-old might and glared at his parents.  He, apparently, was still put out about his mother forbidding him from having a third apple turnover.   “I don’t want to say anything!  I’m not thankful!”

David shot him a stern look, and Neal looked back defiantly for another moment, but then dropped his eyes.  “Fine!  I’m thankful for Wilby.”

Ever since the Charmings had bought their farmhouse and adopted Wilby, dog and boy had been nearly inseparable.

“I guess I’ll go next,” David said after nodding approvingly at his recalcitrant son.  “I’m thankful for the life we have now.  I’m thankful to be back on a farm, working the land.  I’m thankful to have the best wife, son, daughter and son-in-law a man could ever have.  Snow?  How about you?”

Snow reached over and squeezed her husband’s hand affectionately.  “I’m thankful that we’re all here, all together, all happy and healthy.  It’s all I ever wanted for this family.  Emma?  Your turn.  What are you thankful for this year?”

Here it was, the moment of truth, the moment she and Killian had been planning pretty much since they got the positive pregnancy test.  Emma reached over and linked her fingers with her husbands’.

“Actually, mom,” Emma said, unable to hold back her smile.  “This year Killian and I wanted to share what we’re thankful for together.”

A knowing, excited look came into Snow’s face.  “Emma, honey?  Are you about to tell us what I think you’re about to tell us?”

“Yeah, I think I am,” Emma said, smiling as she looked over at her mom then her dad.  “So in just over seven months you and dad are going to be grandparents again.  Killian and I are expecting!”

Emma couldn’t have hoped for a better reaction to their big news.  From Snow nearly crushing her in a hug, to David patting Killian on the back, to the kids cheering about having a new playmate on the way, to Zelena demanding Regina pay up.  “I told you that’s why she wouldn’t drink the rum, Sis.  You owe me”, everyone shared their joy.  Everyone was ready to welcome the little cygnet into their big, crazy family with open arms.

“We can’t wait,” Killian said, “we’ve wanted this for such a long time, but I was starting to think it would never happen.  Not for lack of trying, mind you.  Swan and I had plenty of practice over the last couple of years.”

Neal tugged on his dad’s sleeve.  “Dad, what kind of practice does he mean?”

It was hard to tell, which was redder, the cranberry sauce or David’s face.  “Trust me son.  That’s a detail neither you nor I want to know about.  At all.”

As Regina and Zelena set about to clear the table, and Snow began talking about the baby shower she was bound and determined to throw for them, Emma looked over at Killian, tears welling in her eyes.  He shot her a tender look, reaching up to swipe at her cheek.  A lost girl and a lost boy they might have been, but this child, the product of their true love, would know no such heartache.  Still months away from greeting the world, and already she had more people that loved her than she’d ever know what to do with.

Never had there been a time when Emma had more for which to be thankful.

Next Chapter-->

#cs ff #captain swan #cs thanksgiving ff #thanksgiving reruns 2023 #my fanfiction

[thesmokingguns]

Time

It was jarring for Nikki to see you again. It was like a slap in the face, a reminder of what it was like to be truly loved by someone unconditionally.

A reminder of what he gave up on.

He could see a movie playing in his mind of all the small moments that made the biggest impact on his heart. The snow caps in the popcorn at the movies, the way a strawberry tasted when pulled from a plant and placed at his lips, the way it felt to see a shooting star and wish for a moment to last forever.

But time doesn’t have a pause button, no matter how many shooting stars you wish on you can’t press rewind.

Before Nikki would retreat from the bar your eyes landed on him. You didn’t flinch or let your face fall, thinking of the way he had taken your heart and crushed it with such ease. No. Instead you rose from your barstool taking the several steps towards him and wrapping your arms around him.

He closed his eyes, arms around your back as he laid his head into the crook of your neck where you dabbed your wrists after spritzing perfume on them.he remembers a Christmas where he bought you the expensive bottle, how you had been so excited with the gift.

But the past Christmas you hadn’t exchanged gifts. You had moved out two weeks after thanksgiving and he spent the holiday at McDonalds instead of traveling back to Chicago with you to visit your family.

“It’s been so long, Nikki.” You were pulling from the hug before he was ready and you squeezed his biceps that you used to use as pillows, “How are you, babe?” So easy to slip into old familiarity.

Nikki wanted to drop to his knees, bury his head against your stomach and beg forgiveness. He wanted to feel the way your nails itches his head as you cooed at him that it would all be okay because he always believed whatever words you told him. He trusted you still because he had betrayed you, not the other way around.

“Y/N..” he couldn’t speak and you could see the man breaking in front of you.

Taking his arm you lead him to a small booth, quietly guiding him into the vinyl seats as you sat next to him, taking his hand and stroking his fingers.

“Please, Nikki. Tell me you’re okay.” You needed to hear that he was surviving without you because even though you loved him and your heart would always carry the love, you couldn’t be with him after the heartbreak he had caused.

Sometimes love is powerful, a healing agent and your love wasn’t fragile but it did need time to let bad mistakes sting less. And the sting was still there, trembling as you sat with him holding hands you had once fallen asleep holding.

“I can’t lie to you.” At least he was being better about that. Too little too late. “I’m going crazy without you. I had your love and-“

You pressed a finger to his lips, quieting him as you gave him the soft faint half a smile. Thumb brushing his lips as you shook your head at him to quiet him. This chance meeting wasn’t a time for him to get you back. You didn’t need any more of his ‘sorry’. There had been enough time for that.

“Nikki, babe, please.” you shook your head at him to let him know that you couldn’t handle his words. The way his eyebrows furrowed, his face a clown mask of sorrow as he looked at you with his broken hearted face.

“You loved me so much and I ruined it.” You stroked his face, cooing at him as you shook your head at him. Knowing that Nikki was always beating himself up more than he should. It was absolutely his fault that the pair of you weren't together.

Nikki had cheated on you. Not just the one night stand sort of cheating where you find lipstick on underwear and proceed to doubt everything about yourself but a full blown affair with meet ups in a hotel and dinners in places that he thought you wouldn’t see him. It was only a month of him two timing but when you found out you had broken.

He came home to dinner, all his favorite food and you in his favorite outfit. Just the sight of it made him feel guilty and at that second he knew he was done with the other woman. You had  taken his hand, fed him his favorite foods but as he stared into your eyes he had seen the hurt brewing there. And then you started crying. Hard sobs as you admitted that you knew. That you heard her talking about him when you got your nails done. That you  had seen him pulling her by the waist into some alley as he kissed her like you loved how he kissed you.

As he watched you cry, the first tie he had ever seen you so hysterical he knew your heart was broken.

“Nikki, take the love that I gave you and pay it forward. You know how you like being loved and now love someone like I love you.” you leaned forward, kissing his forehead as you pressed yourself out of the booth, walking away from him and back to where your friends were guarding your stuff.

A few questions about if you were okay as you gathered your jacket, pulled your hair out as the jacket tucked it in and grabbed your purse as you made false promises of how you were fine. But you were wiping your tears as you walked out of the door. Your tears falling in time with the tears that fell from your eyes.

The second time walking away from him was harder than the first because both times you knew that he was the love of your life. But the timing was never going to be right and you couldn’t wait anymore.

Taglist: @ayablackwood​ @rocknrollsoul76 @greeneyezblackheart​ @lady-jane3​ @rocketgrrrl27​ @slutforstradlin​ @theoutsiders25​ @fispapercrafter​ @bbyamberx​ @brezeblog​ @samanthasgone​ @aggressive-slytherin​ @clover270 @grayxiu​ @another-obsessed-with-duff @badfvith​ @bia003​ @queenbae18 @axl-roses-rose​ @d-ahliaa @beebemarie​ @guns-n-roses-gal​ @themoonbelongstome @pinksweetgirl18 @cemmia @bieberhoodforever​

#Nikki Fucking Sixx #nikki sixx fanfic #Nikki Sixx fan fic #Nikki Sixx fan fiction #Nikki Sixx imagine #Nikki Sixx fanfiction

[babes4pdd]

Jealousy- Ben Marshall X Reader (smut)!!!!!!

A/N- Hi guys! Happy thanksgiving. I hope you all had a great day. thank u for supporting us !

Includes: Jealous reader, established relationship, p in v sex, oral sex (f! recieving)

Warning: This fanfiction contains smut so only read if you are 18+

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“That was fun, right?” your boyfriend Ben asks from down the hall where he’s in the bathroom brushing his teeth.

“Mhm” you respond, giving him the most noncommittal noise you can as you enter the bathroom and copy him. He spits into the sink and looks to you as you turn your head to avoid catching his eye. You can’t lie to him.

“I think it’s so awesome that we ran into Lindsey a couple weeks ago” he says, moving behind you, hand on your lower back sweetly, as he walks into the hallway to go into your bedroom. “I mean, it’s just been so good seeing her again after so long, I’ve missed her! Do you like her?”

You’re careful with your answer as you enter the room a moment after he asks you. “Um, yeah I think that meeting Lindsay has been really interesting, it’s nice meeting people you went to college with, um, I’m happy the two of you have reconnected.” You turn so your back is to him as you pull off your jeans and kick them into a corner of your bedroom floor. You know that the second you turn around and make eye contact with Ben he’s immediately going to know that something’s up, you absolutely can’t lie to him. The silence between the two of you and his unanswered question hangs heavy in the space where you linger, unhooking your bra and taking off your earrings. Both of you are clinging to the same passive layer of politeness that sits on top of your honest emotions, he’s trying to figure out what’s wrong and you’re trying to figure out how to tell him his best friend from college wants to fuck him and also probably kill you.

Three weeks ago you had been late to meet your boyfriend at a bar after work, it was some place that someone he worked with had recommended and you had gotten turned around on the way there. You walked in the door and spotted a familiar back, noticing he was talking to the brunette girl next to him animatedly. Ignoring the bad feeling in your chest you continue to approach him, calling out his name when you’re a few steps away. He immediately turns at the sound of your voice, a smile on his face as he pulls you in for a hug and kisses the side of your head. “I’m so glad you’re here, I missed you.” he says, taking your hand and leading you to the seat next to him. 

“I missed you too.” you tell him, squeezing his hand. Leaning past him to the brunette girl who is still staring at him you make eye contact with her “Hi! Who are you?” you ask, as you give her the ‘this is my boyfriend’ smile over Ben’s shoulder. 

“Oh!” Ben exclaims “Y/N this is one of my friends from college! Lindsay! She just moved back last week we just ran into each other, I haven’t seen her in years”

“Yeah, nice to meet you.” Lindsay says quickly, standing up “I just realized what time it is and I have to go! Sorry! Um, Ben, you have my number, text me and we’ll see each other soon, okay!”

Ben stands up too, giving her a hug as she leans into him and stares at you over his shoulder. “Yes, of course, of course. It was so good to run into you!” he tells her as she winks at you.

Ever since then you had progressively felt like you were going fucking crazy, she was so good at being so subtle at the ways she claimed Ben as her’s, purposely referencing things that happened before you were in the picture and it was just the two of them. What’s worse was the way she acted towards you, she was simultaneously so nice as well as very obviously telling you that she didn’t think you were good enough for Ben. It made you feel like you never knew what was going on, like you could never tell what was a joke and what was real. It made you sick to your stomach when the two of them hung out one night and you hadn’t been able to even put it into words when Ben asked you what was wrong. That was what worried you, if you weren’t sure, if you went all crazy, jealous girlfriend on Ben and it turned out you were totally wrong and he broke up with you because you couldn’t even let him have friends without being jealous. You wanted legitimacy to your claims, you wanted proof, but you still hadn’t gotten any and the sick feeling you had in your stomach had done nothing but grown worse with every one of her casual touches to him and her glances and smiles towards you. 

So when your boyfriend directly asks you “Do you like her?” you can feel the sick feeling intensify when you realize you have to tell him, you have to get crazy girlfriend on him, and if you’re wrong this could be it.

You turn around, meeting his eyes reluctantly. “Well?” he asks. “Do you like her?”.

“Not really.” you tell him, biting the inside of your cheek as you gauge his reaction.

“Why not?” he asks immediately, not hiding his shock as his face falls. God you feel like a bitch right now.

“I just, I’m sorry but I really feel like she’s constantly coming on to you.” you tell him in one breath, the words tumbling out of your mouth as you frantically explain yourself. “I know that you guys were friends in college and I’m really sorry if I’m just being paranoid but I seriously think she wants to fuck you Ben, she is literally constantly all over you and she isn’t like that with anyone else I’ve looked, its just you, and she’s always complimenting and TOUCHING you and I also feel like she hates me, like because I’m your girlfriend, she plays these little mind games with me where she acts like I’m not even there and she ignores me and she puts herself between us, like she physically puts her body between us. And I’m so sorry that I’m being fucking crazy right now but I FEEL fucking crazy.” you can feel your voice jumping an octave and your chest heaving with your breaths and then you can feel tears on your cheeks as your eyes stay locked in on your shocked boyfriend.

“Oh my god.” he says, and the look in his eyes is hard to read, you can’t tell if he’s going to hug you or tell you that you’re fucking insane and to get the fuck out of his apartment. 

Thankfully it’s the former, Ben’s arms are around you in a minute, pulling you into him and hugging you tightly, softly telling you that it’s okay, that you’re not fucking crazy. It takes a minute to calm you down, one of his hands rubbing circles on your back while the other softly cradles your face as he continues to reassure you. After you’ve stopped crying and the two of you are laying on your backs in bed, your fingers laced and your head turned so you can stare at your boyfriend he tells you it’s okay, he doesn’t think you’re crazy.

“I didn’t know, like I had no idea, but I believe you, I promise I believe you.” he says softly, turning his head to meet your eyes. “I’d never think you’re crazy. I wish you told me earlier.”

He turns over and wraps an arm around you “I love you so much, and I’m yours. You know I’m yours right?”

And it’s easy for you to understand he’s yours fifteen minutes later when he presses your back against the mattress as he kisses down your body to your bare cunt, gently spreading your thighs as he situates himself between your legs. “I love you so much, and I’m gonna make you feel so good” he says as he kisses your inner thighs, teasing you, making you thread your fingers through his hair and pull him closer to you right where you need him. He laughs and you can feel his warm breath on your cunt and then a second later his mouth is on your clit as your head falls back. 

Gentle sucks and licks make your head feel fuzzy as one of his hands moves up to gently rub your hip, fuck, he’s always so sweet, this makes the hot feeling in your stomach intense, the thought of your soft, sweet boyfriend fucking you like this, god, it’s so good. You moan as you feel his free hand reach down to slide between your folds, collecting your wetness on his fingers before he gently pushes two inside of you, his hot mouth continually sucking on your clit. You pull on his hair as your hips jerk upwards, pushing his face farther into your wet cunt. He groans and you nearly fall apart there, as he licks your clit and fucks you with his fingers. You hold out for a few more moments and then you cum hard on his face, riding out your orgasm with his mouth locked to your clit and his eyes locked on to yours. 

“You did so good.” he says, moving back up so the two of you are eye level again, you wrap your arm around his neck and kiss him deeply, god you fucking love him. His hands are loving and all over you, touching every square inch of your body as the two of you kiss like you haven’t in years. You moan into his mouth as his hands grab your tits, sweet but a little rough, as he tries to commit your skin to memory. “You’re so perfect” he says, kissing down your jaw to your neck, sucking lightly on a spot as you roll your hips into his, whining loudly. “I love you, god, fuck you’re so beautiful” he continues as he pulls you closer to him, his hand on your lower back and guiding your hips against his.

“Please, please fuck me” you moan as his mouth continues to kiss and suck on your neck and collarbone. “Please Ben, want it so bad.” he groans against your skin at the sound of you begging for him. “I need you” you tell him as his hand moves to guide you to lay on your back. You can hear him reaching over your head and opening your nightstand drawer, you can hear him opening and putting on a condom and you can feel his hand on your hip as he slowly presses his dick into your entrance, kissing your neck and whispering “so, so pretty” and “I love you.”. The feeling of him inside of you combined with his sweet kisses and words drives you absolutely crazy. You wrap your arms around his neck, grabbing his hair with one hand. 

“Fuck” you moan as he slowly thrusts into you, his hand rubbing soft circles into the skin of your hip, he’s so gentle and sweet that you could cry, but you need him to fuck you so bad that you could scream. “Please, please baby, faster” you say softly, prompting him to speed up his thrusts until you’re seeing stars and he’s moaning into your neck. His hand moves from your hip to draw tight circles over your clit and that’s what sends you over the edge, you cum hard on his dick, moaning and pulling his hair as he moves up to kiss you, your tongue sliding into his mouth as he cums right after you.

Kissing you again, softer this time, he pulls out of you and gets out of bed to dispose of his condom, he comes back a minute later with a glass of water for you. He waits for you to sit up before he hands it to you and gets back into bed, leaning his head against your shoulder as you drink your water. “I love you.” he says, his voice gentle as you turn to kiss the top of his head. 

“I know you do,” you say softly “because you’re mine and I’m yours.”

#please dont destroy #please dont destroy fanfic #x reader #fanfic #ben marshall #ben marshall x reader #please dont destroy x reader #ben marshall smut

[nancypullen]

Still Making a Home

We’ve been in this house for eight months now and still have a long list of changes that we’d like to make. The kitchen is my number one priority (cabinets and granite), but I’d love to update the bathrooms and rip up the awful carpet on the stairs as well. All in good time, I suppose.  It’s been tough to find qualified people with time on their schedules.  We were thrilled that we only had to wait three weeks for the new front door.  I still get a twitchy eye when I think about the painters and carpet installers from last summer.  But waiting for those changes hasn’t kept me from nesting and trying to make our home comfy and pretty.  It’s been fun to seek out special pieces or little bits of decor that finish a room, I’m doubly thrilled if it’s old, chippy, and possibly has a story.  Last month Mickey surprised me with something that ticked those boxes.  Behold...

an old card catalog!   Look at that dovetail work. Looks like it was done by hand, not machine.

I’m going to slide some stiff cardstock into these drawers and fill them with everything from paint brushes and ribbon to clay. 

I don’t know when the wheels were added, but I love them. I’m guessing someone got their hands on old library stuff and broke it down into pieces like this.  It’s a perfectly beautiful little side table for the chair in my art room. Beauty that’s functional!  It’s also cat approved. I snapped this last week while I was finishing up our Christmas cards.  Molly was snoozing while Phoebe kept watch on the neighborhood.

Isn’t that a nice spot for it? It probably needs a doily on top so I can get comfy in that chair with a good book and a warm beverage.  Perfect for a snowy day.  I’m crossing my fingers for a lot of those.

Phoebe was probably bird watching in that photo.  I have a rocker on the porch and for some reason the little house wrens love to sit on the back of it and sing.  I appreciate the concerts, I need more bird song in my life.

That rocker was the first thing I dressed for the season. The day after Thanksgiving I swapped out the pillows.

But this post is about the inside of the house.  I’m spending loads of time dithering over the kitchen.  My first instinct was to do the cabinets in a creamy color.  Not a bright white because this house is “open concept” (I hate that term) and it wouldn’t flow with the rest of the living area if they were a stark, pure white.  Creamy colors can tend to pull yellow in the wrong light and I don’t want that either.  So I’ve been daydreaming of going crazy with a thyme green or a deep blue-green-gray.  I think I’d love it, but I’d have to love it for a long, long time.  The color that I can’t get out of my head is Knoxville Gray.

Isn’t it gorgeous??  It’s that blue-green-gray that I love. With our dark floors and a white granite or quartz I think I could love it for a few decades.  It’s a lot of color, but I think this rich tone is deep enough that it’s not overpowering.  I can see it with pink floral accents and tea towels for the spring and summer months, it’s a perfect backdrop for pumpkins and autumn colors, and in the winter it would look marvelous dressed up with red and icy white.  Does it sound like I’m talking myself into it?  I think I am.  We’re supposed to get serious about the kitchen after the holidays, so I’ll let you know what happens.  I’ll bet I have to wait until spring on the cabinets because no one will want to paint them if it’s cold, right? Ugh. Alright, we’ve gone from the adorable card catalog to bird watching to picking paint colors.  I obviously had no plan when I started typing.  Mickey is upstairs in a photography club Zoom meeting and I’ve already seen the Dateline that’s on, so I thought if I started a blog post something would flow out of my brain and onto this page.  Nope, sorry. Time to flip to a Hallmark channel and lose myself in a sweet romance in Christmasvillefieldgroveton. I’m sure the local single mom trying to keep her bakery/inn/farm afloat (who lives in a million dollar home and has a wardrobe to die for) will find love with the city slicker who needs to be reminded of what really matters (hint: it’s Christmas and love).  No one gets visited by three ghosts anymore. Hope your evening is cozy and that you’re content. If the joy of the season hasn’t washed over you yet, make your own joy - giving it away is usually the quickest way to find it.  Stay safe, stay well.

Nancy

[jacquelinemerritt]

Thanksgiving Films You Forgot: Home For The Holidays

Originally posted November 9th, 2015

Every year the holiday seasons roll around, and with each season you see celebrations of films centered on the holidays. Halloween has the entire horror genre to look at, Christmas has hundreds of films dating back to the beginning of film history, and Valentine’s Day has any film with a romantic subplot (which is just about any film ever made).

There are two holidays that often get left out of this fun, though. When was the last time you heard someone talk about a Thanksgiving or New Year’s film? I want to fix that. That’s why this November, each week I’ll be watching and writing about a different film set around Thanksgiving. To start off, I’m going to talk about "Home for the Holidays," a strange little romantic comedy directed by Jodie Foster.

"Home for the Holidays" is a weird film. It starts with a close-up montage of Claudia, our protagonist, painting with egg yolk on a very large canvas. After this montage, we watch her as she goes back to her boss’s office, walking in a trance-like state until she sinks into one of his chairs. He then fires her, and in the process of being comforted by him, Claudia makes out with him before rushing away embarrassed.

She then is driven to the airport by her 18-year-old daughter Kitt who informs her that she won’t be attending her family’s Thanksgiving dinner, preferring instead to join her boyfriend at his parents’ house. She also tells Claudia in very clear terms that she’s going to have sex with her boyfriend while she’s there.

That all happens in the first five minutes, and it gets stranger from there. Claudia’s uncomfortable flight is followed by an uncomfortable drive home with her parents, and once she gets home, she and her mother have a surreal conversation about children thinking their mother is crazy, which happens as Claudia’s mother undresses for bed.

The very next morning, their entire family is woken up by Claudia’s brother Tommy, who we first see sneaking around their house with a set of spy goggles and a Polaroid camera. We also see that Tommy has a habit of taking intrusive pictures of his sister, at first ripping off the covers of her bed to snap a photo of her underwear, and later taking a picture of her as she showers. The strange behaviors escalate with the introduction of the rest of the family attending Thanksgiving dinner, with each new member having a number of strange quirks that seem like they might be a little less than socially acceptable.

All of the strange behavior comes to a head at the actual Thanksgiving dinner, where each individual's quirk is escalated to the point of insanity and played off the others' wonderfully in what is clearly the best scene in the film. And the high level of insanity only lowers slightly after the dinner, with Tommy getting into a fight with his brother-in-law over a game of football. It all blends together beautifully, with each and every quirk and escalation feeling surreal and believable at the same time.

Unfortunately, the film falls apart after the Thanksgiving dinner, losing most of the tension and development of the characters that had been established before. It attempts to shift its focus away from the family relationships in favor of a romantic subplot between Claudia and Leo, Tommy’s friend that she met that morning.

Their romance is contrived as hell, and none of their interactions feel natural, despite their relatively solid chemistry. The film also attempts to provide closure on a conflict between Claudia and her sister, but because of its focus on the romance, it doesn’t have the time to commit to reconciling their differences or giving a failed reconciliation actual depth and meaning.

That, of course, could be the point, and it’d certainly be an interesting point to make, but the final scene of the film has Claudia and Leo flying back to Chicago together, with Leo telling Claudia that it doesn’t matter if they never see each other again, since they’ll still have the time they spent together. That being the film’s final statement makes it clear that Foster wants us to see the focus on romance as her showing us the one thing that will make Claudia the most happy.

But, while I’m willing to buy that the romance is what will make Claudia the happiest in that moment, I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if she’d spent that time focusing on her relationship with her sister, because even if she was unable to change anything, it would’ve been far more interesting for us if we had seen her try, instead of spend all her time focusing on a man she’s known for less than 24 hours.

#thanksgiving #home for the holidays #julia foster #robert downey jr #jodie foster #film criticism #i think this piece is pretty solid #but it also undersells just how much fun the first half of this movie is #seriously home for the holidays is a fuckin trip #you will be cringing and laughing the entire way through the first half #highly recommend it for that #even if it peters out after the thanksgiving dinner

[fun-fit-chaos]

When anxiety attacks...

I’m sure I’m not the only one, I was invited to a Thanksgiving dinner for today. When I was invited a week ago, I thought I would be able to make it. I let her know I would double check some things but we should be able to make it. She’s a very understanding person and I know she understands that I wasn’t able to make it afterall, but my anxiety won’t let me calm down and just let it be. My head is telling me I am a bad friend and everybody hates me because I wasn’t able to make it. I know that’s not the case so I just have to get this off my chest and see if that helps. Usually it does, but ... yeah I don’t know much of anything today. And this week is going to be crazy, as I’m sure it is for al of you as well. 

OK, that seemed to help a bit, I’ll come back when/if I need to get more thoughts out of my head and in print. 

#anxiety sucks #life goes on #ugh

[dailyaudiobiblechronological]

10/31/2022 DAB Chronological Transcription

Matthew 19, Mark 10

Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible Chronological, I'm China. Today is the 31st day of October, welcome. So great to be here with you today as we finish out the month of October. And we turn the corner tomorrow into the month of November. And this is a word to the wise, word of the wise. Not sure which one it is. Okay, humbling moment. Put on your seatbelts. This is the time. Like seriously though, like take some deep breaths, try to stay present because I feel like the moment it turns November, we are like lightning zoomed and we blink and then it's the new year and we're doing this all over again. So I encourage you as we approach the holiday season, I feel like there's something about the 1 November or the first of any month, but the first November that really sparked something in us. And it can create tension, it can create stress, it can create anxiety or just dread whatever it is. And if you have none of that great Halelujia, praise God. But I know that there are some people who do, myself included, just of all the things to do to encourage you to notice what's going on in your body, let's just kind of do some breathing exercises. Just unclench your jaw, loosen your shoulders, shake them around, shake your head yes, shake your head no and take some deep breaths. Let's center ourself to come around the word of the Lord. Let's also center ourself because I really believe how we leave one season or one month is how we're going to enter into the next. Instead of chaos and craziness, let's enter with praise and Thanksgiving and from a place of peace. And if nothing else, if you can't relate to the craziness of or just like the what sometimes holiday planning and hosting or traveling or all of those things, none of those things figure like that. That's okay. But I know that some people really do. But before we even get into that, let's prepare our hearts so that we can tend to them, we can tend to what we're feeling in our body, feel it, allow it to pass and invite the Holy Spirit in. So let us finish out the month of October with the book of Matthew, chapter 19, and the Book of Mark, chapter ten. We are in the English Standard Version for this week.

Commentary

Man, there's a lot that I feel like we could unpack today. But Jesus, again, he is revealing what is going to happen to him and it's a lot to process. Again, I just find myself feeling like, man, if I was in present day, if I was these disciples trying to figure out what he was saying, I don't know if they'd had ever seen resurrection before. Maybe they had and it wasn't recorded, but what a concept to try to understand and to resurrect in three days. Like, what does that mean? Well, also he said something about temple being torn down and being rebuilt in three days. Any correlation there? You know, like all these different things and there's a talking about divorce and them saying like, well, time out, like, then why did Moses say this? And Jesus revealing, well, it's actually because of your hardened hearts that this was put into place. Ouch. That just made me kind of wonder what other things get put into place just because of our hardened hearts that Lord actually wants to take us beyond that, because of our stubbornness, we're only able to meet like a checkpoint instead of the finish line. And I'm just very thankful that ultimately, Jesua was the ultimate sacrifice. And we're getting to that. And so I don't want to not ruin the buildup. But I feel like it's important to stay in the story. Not to like, make yourself go through the motions. But to feel it because of how everything that we've built our faith upon. The reason why we are here. The reason why we're doing this. Is because of Jesus and what he has done and the heart and the promise of reconciliation back to the Father. And spend eternity with him. And there's these questions of what eternity is and who's going to sit on your right, who's going to sit on your left. And Jesus is actually speaking a word of humility of whoever's going to be first is actually going to be last, and you're going to be their servant and their slave, and whoever's last is actually going to be first. And we kind of see that in Jesus ministry, where the people who are considered the lowlies, the outsiders, right, the people that in society are claimed as last, we see that they're getting Jesus's attention, that he's going out of his way to meet them and to heal them and almost as being first. And maybe there's even more to that. So I'm sure there is. Jesus is a very simple speaker, but also very complex. And so Jesus is for telling his death a third time, right. And what's so interesting is that James and John, the sons of Zebedee, they're trying to figure out this translation even just makes me laugh, like, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you. What a thing to say to Jesus. And he's just like, what do you want me to do for you? But then I love that that question gets repositioned at the very end of Scripture, where Jesus is healing Barnabas, a blind beggar, and Jesus is asking Him, what do you want me to do for you? And I feel like that question always is just so tender because these people are coming to Jesus all the time and we're seeing Jesus approach their faith and ask the hard questions that I feel like we don't want to ask or even ask ourselves to load another person or be asked. And he's asking them, what do you want me to do for you? And the blind man says to him, Rabbi, let me recover my sights. Jesus said to him, Go your way. Your faith has made you well. And I love that. Like, could you imagine Jesus asking, what do you want me to do for you? I feel like you would be very slow to list, just like a runoff list like James and John did. But this man, he is just asking, lord, Rabbi, let me recover my sight. And he's like, yes, your faith is what's making you well. And it's so beautiful. It's so simple, yet so complex. And that's what I love so much about the Bible, so much about the Gospels, and so much about Jesus.

Prayer

And so, Jesus, I thank you for your word. I thank you so much that we have Your Word to be further in depth with you, that we can understand you better and deeper, and that your truth is revealed to us. And maybe we kind of side on the same side as the disciples, where we're somewhat confused in trying to ask the questions of our own selves. But I thank you, God, that when we seek you, we find you. And I pray that that has been true this year. And I thank you that it will continue to be true. And so, Lord, I thank you that you are always revealing yourself to us. You're always near. You are Emmanuel, God with us. You don't come and go. You stay with us. And so I pray that we would even right now, be aware of Your presence, be aware of Your nearness, and that we would be aware that you could be asking us the question, what is it that you want me to do for you? I pray that we would truly think about that in a way that we wouldn't be demanding or trying to make sure that our golden feet in heaven is secured. But rather than, Lord, that we would come to you and say, lord, what can we do for you? Lord, what is it that you want us to do for you? What is it that you want me to do for You, Lord, that we would have the patience and the comfortability to sit in the silence and wait on you as a Father. I thank you for your word. I thank you so much, so, so much for Your word. I thank You Holy Spirit, for bringing it to life each and every single day, and that's in Your name we pray, amen.

Outro

Yeah, I just feel like that's an invitation from the Lord to journal or to verbally process with Him or internally process based on process, however, feels normal to you. But really, if someone's asking us the question, what is it you want me to do for you? What do we really sit with that to have a maybe we already know. Maybe we've been asking the Lord something, maybe then can we pose the question to Him, Lord, what is it that you want us to do for you? And just to sit in his presence. And sometimes we can sit and wait and we're expecting an audible voice. I remember being before I was even a teenager, trying to hear the Lord's voice and being so upset that I wasn't hearing anything and just having to learn how the Lord was speaking to me and how I was going to either say, like, Lord, either you're real or you're not. And either you speak or you don't. And there was times I was like, maybe the Lord forgot about me, maybe he created me and didn't remember like all these things that I was a child thinking. And I'm sure it's kind of tempting sometimes to go back into those thought process sometimes. But I will say having those questions very early on in my faith has helped me to be like, no, Lord, I remember you showing up for me in here. I remember feeling Your actual presence in this moment. Wait, I remember you showing yourself again in this way that was so supernatural, that could have only been you, and really pressing into that truth when it feels difficult to remember who the Lord is and what he is doing, because those moments come. The enemy is after our faith. He's out to rob, steal, kill and destroy. And so, of course, he wants us to question that. But I again just encourage you to ask and sit in the question, lord, what is it that you want me to do for you? And in turn, Lord, what is it that I want you to do for me? And just have a moment with Lord. So that is all for today. I'm China. I love you. I'll be waiting for you here, tomorrow.

Community Prayer Line

Hi, guys. This is Ashley from Texas. I don't know if you all remember, but I was pregnant and very upset about that. However, baby Genesis Mackenzie Young was born September 14, weighing 7lb and 1.2oz. And we are ecstatic, in my opinion. She's beautiful. But of course I'm biased and everything has been wonderful. And just as a praise report, I am on unpaid maternity leave. I'm a teacher and God has made a way. Like every bill has been paid, everything I need has been done. My daughter has milk, we have a full refrigerator. Everything has been taken care of, even down to doctor bills. And I just feel so blessed. And I think it's partly because of DABC, because I rededicated my life to Christ in January and have been doing Bible study with DABC, along with my own personal Bible study. And it has strengthened my relationship with God. And I have just seen Him move in so many amazing ways and even down to hearing you guys' praise reports. Like I just recently heard, I forgot his name. He called in a lot and he said that his wife just came back home on his birthday. And it's just like, I hear so many of you guys' live stories, and it just makes me so, so happy. And thank you guys. Love you. Bye.

This is Billy Conan on the 28 October about the lady who put in a call about her husband who's in the military, having never really related to him your relationship on an emotional level. All I'm going to say here real quick is that as a military man, for sure, they're just not built to always function on an emotional level as a military person. We're built as guys to work by training and my functions to get in emotions in the military just doesn't work. So a lot of times when in your position, you need girls around, you need girlfriends around to get together with and express yourself. And this is especially true if you're in the military and you move around a lot. It's tough to develop strong ties. But I would really encourage you to do that, to look to support groups and stuff like that with other wives and women to carry you through this and to realize that your husband needs to be a man, he needs to be a leader. He needs to function in that role to lead you, to  you as the leader of the home. That's the role.

Good morning, DABC. It's Renee from Florida. I hope everybody's doing well. It is October 28, and I just heard a lady that asked her prayer for her marriage. At the end. She didn't say her name. Oh, Lord, I just left this couple up to you. She said that they were friends when they met and that they've been together for a long time. And now that they're married for the last two years, it's more of a friendship relationship. God, I could hear her frustration in her voice, and she even talked about bitterness and him not wanting her. Lord, he may have autism and never been diagnosed with that. Father God, I pray that you will work in this marriage and work with this man and woman. I wish I would have said her name, but you know who we're talking about. I pray that they would find intimacy in the right way to love each other unconditionally no matter what, and that her frustrations would be put to rest, that this man would see his wife in a whole new way. He had said that the man is to love the woman, and the woman is to respect the man. I could see that she respects him. I pray that you would have him to love her the way that she needs to be loved, if at all possible. Lord, it is possible. Anything with you is possible. So I'm glad that she called and asked for prayer, and I pray that you will work in this man's heart. And she said he found the Lord lord, work on Him to let him read the verses on how to love his wife in Jesus name. I love you guys. Stay blessed and encouraged.

Good morning. This is God sunshine in California. And I just heard that Ashley in Texas had her baby. So just wanted to call in and congratulate you, Ashley, and welcoming your precious baby Genesis. And just wanted to lift up a quick prayer. Father God, we just thank you. We thank you for Your ability to help us when we can't understand Your ability to help us when we don't know what to do, your ability to help us when decisions just seem so hard. And so, Lord, I just wanted to thank you. Thank you today for the blessing of baby Genesis. Thank you for stepping in as you always do and helping Ashley along the way by giving her the strength that she needed. And we just thank you that you provide us with the peace that surpasses all understanding and that we can trust you in the hard decisions and in the life changing decisions and that you make a way for us. And so, Lord, I just give baby Genesis to you I just pray that she would grow to be healthy and happy and that she would go into this world and be Your light and that she would share her story and that she would be the beginning in everyone's life, God, that by her life would be saved, by her her lives would be blessed. And we just lift up Ashley and just pray for her and her mothering and her decisions that she has to make. Lord, I just pray you've.

[laurenprospectdublin]

In 2022, I had the most travel filled fall I’ve had in a while. Between a wedding in Virginia Beach in September, NYC/CT trip in October, longboat key in November, and California, Orlando, and CT in December, it was a lot of fun but also exhausting. I decided 10 days may be my max for consecutive travel going forward and after all that I wanted to spend some time in Chicago in my new apartment!

The nyc/CT trip was much needed family and friend time after my recent breakup with Hugo and was a good opportunity to get out of the condo. First, I spent a few days in midtown Manhattan at Megan’s new apartment. It was a great central location so we were able to easily access several different neighborhoods. I went for runs in Central Park and down to the Brooklyn bridge and battery park, we also enjoyed bagels from our go to ess-a-bagel and went to my old neighborhood for the famous egg bagels. We also went to the union square market and I tried out Megan’s new favorite workout class solid core. My abs were sore for days! We also made a special trip to carol gardens neighborhood in Brooklyn for the famous lucalis pizza. We spent a lot of time waiting for the pizza but I really enjoyed exploring this cute Brooklyn neighborhood. I hope to explore more of Brooklyn next time I visit.

After my time with Megan, I went to stay with Joanna in flushing for a few days. We went out to dinner a few times and it was great to catch up. My dad picked me up from Joanna’s on my last day and we went to visit my grandma in the hospital. It was heartbreaking to see her in that condition but I’m glad I got to see her before she passed a few months later - I know she appreciated it as she would not stop talking about to her aides the rest of the week.

Then I spent a few days with my family and hiking Talcott mountain with the pups before heading back to Chicago to get ready for my upcoming move!

After my move, I had multiple weddings - Mikayla and Jake’s in Indiana and Kyler and Sarah’s in Chicago. Kyler and Sarah’s wedding weekend was such a blast with all the events and several close friends. And it was awesome to be local for it!

Then the next bout of travel began. I had 10 days in longboat key for thanksgiving and my moms 60th birthday weekend of events. We went on a family boat ride and my dad threw a party at the beach for all their friends.

After longboat key, I headed to San Francisco for a week long immersive course on brand advocacy for my graduate program.

I had a free day Sunday to explore before class started Monday so my friends Haley, Joanna, abbey and I all rented bikes and headed over to Sausalito to walk around and explore. It was a super cute marina town and it was nice to see again as I had gone there with my mom when I was 15. This time around, I stayed in the downtown area where all the offices are so we were close to class each day. The homeless situation there was pretty crazy, lots of mentally ill more so than Chicago. While I was there throughout the week, I explored marina district for dinner one night, did a run up to the painted ladies one morning before class, and walked around the salesforce park and area near the classroom. It was nice to have a week to “live” in a new city but i was so ready to get home after almost 3 weeks away at the end.

After that I had a work trip to Disney world and Christmas in Connecticut - nothing too new for those trips so I won’t go into detail.

[whimsicallyenchantedrose]

Thanksgiving Reruns--Day 2: Thankful

I would like to wish a very happy Thanksgiving to all my followers who celebrate it, and as a thank you, here are a few of my past Thanksgiving stories.  Enjoy!

Title: Thankful

Rating: G

Words: 2705

Summary: Pre-7x2 deleted scene.  The Swan/Jones/Charming/Mills family gets together for Thanksgiving dinner.  This year, Emma and Killian have something extra special for which to be thankful.

 Tagging a few people who may be interested (Let me know if you want to be added or taken off the list): @sailormew4​ @annaamell​ @flslp87​ @emmateo26​@bethacaciakay​ @ultraluckycatnd​ @ineffablecolors​, @ilovemesomekillianjones​ @kat2609​ @brooke-to-broch​ @missgymgirl​ @galadriel26​ @the-lady-of-misthaven​ @charmingturkeysandwich​ @jennjenn615​ @laschatzi​ @kimmy46​ @snowbellewells​ @iamanneenigma​ @daxx04​ @nickillian​ @a-rose-for-a-savior @in-spirational​ @gillie​  @britishguyslover​ @ginnyjinxedandhanshotritafirst​ @kmomof4​  @linda8084​ @golfgirld​ @captain-swan-coffee​ @searchingwardrobes​ @hollyethecurious​ @laughswaytoomuch​  @allyourdarlingswans​  @winterbaby89​ @facesiousbutton82​ @therooksshiningknight​, @lfh1226-linda​ @tiganasummertree​

 Other Chapters: 1 3 4 5

 Thankful

 CS Genre:  Deleted scene, pre 7x2

Growing up, Emma remembered the holidays as a cold, dreary, depressing time.  Everywhere she turned there were happy families, basking in the joy of the season.  Bright red and green decorations everywhere.  Singers crooning about the happiest time of the year.  Movies and tv shows about the joy and magic of the holidays. 

All it ever did was remind Emma of what she didn’t have. 

But that had all changed when she came to Storybrooke and found her family and her true love.

Emma woke early on Thanksgiving morning, a bright smile on her face and a song in her heart.  She lay pleasantly cocooned in a mountain of quilts, her husband’s warmth surrounding her, his arm slung over her waist, his hand splayed across her still-flat belly, holding their child close.

It was incredible how much her life had changed in just a few short years.  She missed Henry like crazy, especially during the holidays, but other than his absence, her life was about as close to perfect as it was possible to get.

Well…almost.  Emma felt her stomach roil as the ever present morning sickness reared its ugly head.  She took deep breaths, willing the nausea to subside, but after a minute or two she realized it was useless.  Moving as gently as possible so as not to disturb Killian, she got out of bed and nearly sprinted to the bathroom.

She loved this baby with everything in her already, but anyone who suggested pregnancy was fun needed to be committed.  Funny, she didn’t remember the first trimester being this miserable with Henry.  Oh she’d been a little more tired than normal, and she’d felt a bit sick for a couple of weeks, but it was the emotional turmoil that had been the worst.

It seemed getting pregnant in your early thirties was far different than getting pregnant in your teens.  Still, despite the unbelievable fatigue, the morning sickness that seemed to last most of the day, the constant weird cravings, and the times she felt faint, she wouldn’t trade this for anything.

Emma rinsed out her mouth, gargled a bit of mouth wash, splashed some water on her face and padded back to the bed.  Killian sat up in the bed, his hair delightfully touselled, and looked over at her in concern.

“Swan?” he asked, pulling up the covers and welcoming her back into the shelter of his arms, “are you quite well, love?”

Emma chuckled humorlessly.  “Killian, this kid of yours is trying to kill me.”

If possible, Killian looked even more concerned.  “Shall I ring the doctor?”

Emma laughed again.  “Killian we’ve talked about this.  I’m fine.  A bit miserable, but fine.  Besides, I think if you call Whale one more time to freak out about a little routine morning sickness, he’s going to come over here and beat you with his stethoscope.”

Emma loved having a husband who wanted to take care of her during her pregnancy, one who loved and wanted this baby at least as much as she did.  She loved Killian for it, but his whole concerned husband/mother hen routine had gotten old by about the second day they’d known about the pregnancy.

“Are you sure you should be lifting that love?” he’d asked, as she reached for the throw pillows that decorated their bed.

“A pillow, Killian?  Seriously?”

Later in the sheriff’s station, he’d been even worse.  “Swan, I’m not altogether sure you should go out on that call.  Wouldn’t want anything to happen to you or the baby.”

“Killian, Dopey and Doc got into a fender bender.  Just how dangerous do you think responding to that is going to be?”

“Perhaps you’d best take a rest in one of the unoccupied cells, love.  You must keep your strength up,” he’d continued.

“Killian stop fussing!”

But the last straw had come when Killian called Whale for the fifteenth time in the first week, concerned about her fatigue and nausea.

“Killian,” Emma said firmly, “I love you with all my heart.  I would go (and have gone) through hell for you, but I swear if you don’t stop hovering I’m going to turn you into a ferret.  I’m pregnant, not an invalid.

He’d gotten much better since then, but he still watched her like a hawk, ready to come to her assistance at the slightest indication it was needed.

Emma settled into the bed, kissed her husband, and prepared to catch a few more z’s when her stomach growled loud enough to wake the dead.  Killian chuckled.  “Our lass is demanding nourishment now, is she?”

It was, of course, far too early to know the sex of their baby, but Killian was sure they were having a daughter, and Emma had to admit she had the same feeling.

“She’s famished, as always,” Emma said.  “Guess it’s time to get up and see what’s for breakfast.”

Killian stopped her with a gentle hand to her shoulder.  “Stay put love.  Let me bring my girls breakfast in bed.”

Her heart turned over at the love in his eyes, the way he always wanted to do little things for her.  “Certainly not going to turn down an offer like that.”

“And just what does my little princess wish for her morning repast today?”

Emma grinned.  “Okay, I know this sounds totally disgusting, but do you know what I’m craving like crazy right now?”

“I couldn’t even begin to guess what noisome combination of food items you desire today,” he said.

“What I really want is a couple of my blueberry Pop-Tarts and a big dill pickle.”

Killian pulled a face, but dutifully shuffled off toward the kitchen.

Emma settled back against the pillows and smiled, putting a protective hand over her belly as she waited for her breakfast.  Today was a big day.  Today was the day she and Killian told the family their big news.  Killian had been so excited when she told him about the baby six weeks ago that he’d been ready to call her father (and his best mate) on the spot, but Emma had stopped him.

“Killian, would you mind terribly if we waited a bit to tell people?” she’d asked hesitantly.

He’d given her a surprised look, but then slowly shook his head.  “I suppose not, love, but why shouldn’t we share our joy?”

She’d shrugged.  “I don’t know.  It’s just so…new and exciting.  I was kind of hoping we could celebrate privately for a while, just have this an incredibly amazing secret just between the two of us.”

He’d agreed with her, and in the end, they’d decided Thanksgiving day would be the perfect time to tell the family.

“Your grandma and grandpa are going to be so excited to find out about you, baby,” she whispered softly.

Emma had more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving than she ever had before.

~c~s~c~s~c~s~c~s~c~s~

Thanksgiving dinner had become somewhat of a tradition for the Charming/Swan/Jones/Mills family over the years.  The first Thanksgiving dinner they’d had together wasn’t actually on Thanksgiving at all.  It was in the middle of the spring, just after the Black Fairy had been defeated.  The whole gang (including Rumple, Belle and a newly baby-ized Gideon) met at Granny’s for lasagna and Regina’s famous apple turnovers.  Snow had insisted they go around the table and list something they were thankful for.  Despite some snark and grumbling (mainly from Zelena), everyone had complied, and a new family tradition was born.

Ever since that day, Thanksgiving dinner had moved to the appropriate day, near the end of November.  Granny’s had hosted them for the first couple of years, but when Anton finally succeeded in getting his newly planted magic bean fields to yield, she’d taken to realm hopping over the holidays so she could spend time with Ruby.  Now they all took turns hosting.

This year, the Mills sisters had the honor of hosting the big family dinner.

And so it was that early in the evening, Emma and Killian walked hand in hand into the mayor’s mansion, proffering a bottle of rum as a hostess gift.

“This looks like the good stuff,” Emma said, as Killian rang the doorbell, and they waited to be welcomed in.  “Too bad I won’t be able to drink it for a good seven months.”

“Don’t worry love,” Killian said with a wink.  “I’ll drink enough for both of us.”

For that, he received a (somewhat) playful smack.

Zelena opened the door with an eyeroll.  “About time you two arrived.  You’re ten minutes late.  After hours of slaving away in the kitchen (which is torture without magic), if you ruined a single dish there will be hell to pay.”

“Happy Thanksgiving to you too, Zelena,” Emma said with a grin.  “Sorry, we were just…um…delayed a bit, and lost track of time.”

She prayed her face wasn’t flaming as much as she suspected it was.  Another side effect of this pregnancy seemed to be that she wanted her husband.  Like all the time.  And Killian, good husband that he was, was always up to the task.  It’s possible they might have gotten carried away this afternoon and been so lost in each other that they totally forgot there was even such a thing as Thanksgiving.

Zelena looked back and forth between them for a moment, and then dramatically rolled her eyes.  “Can we just have one day where we’re not all nauseated at the thought of the two of you constantly getting it on?”

Killian smirked as he looked down at Emma, his look pure sin and wickedness.  “I wouldn’t count on it.”

And Zeus help her, but she was ready to drag Killian into the nearest private space she could find and have her way with him again.  Pregnancy hormones were going to be the death of her (and possibly the death of her pirate as well, considering the look her dad shot him as he walked into the foyer just in time to hear that little exchange).

The Golds had left on their big world tour some five or six years ago now, and of course Henry was off trying to create his own story, but even so, the Mills sisters’ dining room table was nearly filled to capacity between the Charmings, the Swan-Jones’s, the Mills sisters and the two rambunctious kids.  (Seriously, Neal and Robyn could get into more trouble together than any ten children Emma knew growing up in group homes.)

Emma settled in with Killian on one side and her mother on the other.  Snow leaned over and gave Emma a motherly one-armed hug. 

“Something’s different about you today, Emma,” Snow said with a smile.  “You’re positively glowing.”

Emma smiled and on impulse hugged her mom back.  “I’m just happy, mom,” she said meaning it with her whole heart.  “These big family get togethers are more than I ever could have hoped for, despite the inevitable snark-off between Regina and Zelena.”

Snow smiled gently.  “I’ll always regret all the years we missed together, but the fact that we can have these moments now, well it’s what I’ve always wanted for our family.”

Dinner, consisting of all the traditional Thanksgiving favorites, was delicious.  Emma always secretly loved it when Regina and Zelena hosted Thanksgiving, because magic or no magic, they were amazing cooks.  Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, homemade dinner rolls, sweet potatoes and steamed vegetables.  All of it was delectable.  This year, however, the cranberry sauce nearly made her stomach turn.  Right then; so baby Swan-Jones did not like cranberries.  It took a few moments of deep breathing and swallowing hard, but luckily Emma was able to push the nausea aside and finish her dinner in peace.

David waited until they’d finished eating, everyone feeling like they’d burst if they consumed another bite, and then stood at the head of the table, clinking his glass.

“Well now that we’ve eaten, you all know what time it is.  It’s time for everyone to share what they’re thankful for.  Regina, as hostess, do you want to start?”

Regina smiled, waved her hand and produced a small piece of paper.  “I’m grateful for this letter Henry managed to get to me yesterday.  He’s doing well, and he’s having all types of adventures.  Okay, Zelena.  Your turn.”

Zelena took a sip of her rum.  “I’m thankful Leroy caught laryngitis.  His constant town crier act got old about ten years ago.  Robyn, darling?”

The little red head grinned, showing off a missing tooth or two.  “I’m thankful Mother Superior never found out it was me that put the ‘Shady Blue’ sign on her back.”

This, of course, resulted in admonishment from most of the adults, but Emma turned away to hide her grin.

“Neal, you’re next.”

Neal Nolan, frowned with all of his eight-year-old might and glared at his parents.  He, apparently was still put out about his mother forbidding him from having a third apple turnover.   “I don’t want to say anything!  I’m not thankful!”

David shot him a stern look, and Neal looked back defiantly for another moment, but then dropped his eyes.  “Fine!  I’m thankful for Wilby.”

Ever since the Charmings had bought their farmhouse and adopted Wilby, dog and boy had been nearly inseparable.

“I guess I’ll go next,” David said after nodding approvingly at his recalcitrant son.  “I’m thankful for the life we have now.  I’m thankful to be back on a farm, working the land.  I’m thankful to have the best wife, son, daughter and son-in-law a man could ever have.  Snow?  How about you?”

Snow reached over and squeezed her husband’s hand affectionately.  “I’m thankful that we’re all here, all together, all happy and healthy.  It’s all I ever wanted for this family.  Emma?  Your turn.  What are you thankful for this year?”

Here it was, the moment of truth, the moment she and Killian had been planning pretty much since they got the positive pregnancy test.  Emma reached over and linked her fingers with her husbands’.

“Actually, mom,” Emma said, unable to hold back her smile.  “This year Killian and I wanted to share what we’re thankful for together.”

A knowing, excited look came into Snow’s face.  “Emma, honey?  Are you about to tell us what I think you’re about to tell us?”

“Yeah, I think I am,” Emma said, smiling as she looked over at her mom then her dad.  “So in just over seven months you and dad are going to be grandparents again.  Killian and I are expecting!”

Emma couldn’t have hoped for a better reaction to their big news.  From Snow nearly crushing her in a hug, to David patting Killian on the back, to the kids cheering about having a new playmate on the way, to Zelena demanding Regina pay up.  “I told you that’s why she wouldn’t drink the rum, Sis.  You owe me”, everyone shared their joy.  Everyone was ready to welcome the little cygnet into their big, crazy family with open arms.

“We can’t wait,” Killian said, “we’ve wanted this for such a long time, but I was starting to think it would never happen.  Not for lack of trying, mind you.  Swan and I had plenty of practice over the last couple of years.”

Neal tugged on his dad’s sleeve.  “Dad, what kind of practice does he mean?”

It was hard to tell, which was redder, the cranberry sauce or David’s face.  “Trust me son.  That’s a detail neither you nor I want to know about.  At all.”

As Regina and Zelena set about to clear the table, and Snow began talking about the baby shower she was bound and determined to throw for them, Emma looked over at Killian, tears welling in her eyes.  He shot her a tender look, reaching up to swipe at her cheek.  A lost girl and a lost boy they might have been, but this child, the product of their true love, would know no such heartache.  Still months away from greeting the world, and already she had more people that loved her than she’d ever know what to do with.

Never had there been a time when Emma had more for which to be tha

#cs ff #cs fluff #cs family feels #thanksgiving reruns 2022 #my fanfiction