#I'm sorry to anyone I upset with this post | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-bad-batch-baroness · 1 day

Text

Where's Mommy?

Wolffe x Fem!Reader

Part 11

Summary: Wolffe's wife suddenly dies, leaving him a single father in the middle of a war.

Pairing: Wolffe x Fem!Reader

Characters: Wolffe, Cara (OFC), Comet, Sinker, Boost, Warthog, Plo Koon

Tags & Warnings: heavy angst, mention of death, off-screen death, spousal death, grief, hurt/comfort, family fluff

Word Count: 1.3k

Author's Note: PLEASE READ! I have made the decision to change this series from a reader fic to an OC fic. I've spent a lot of time thinking about this and it's not something I decided on overnight. I don't believe I can do the narrative justice by staying in the constraints of a reader fic, and my first duty is always to the narrative. I'm sorry if this upsets anyone, but trust me, having to go back and re-write everything into third-person past-tense was not on my to-do list. I realize I do not have an OC option on my taglist sign up form. This has been fixed. If you would no longer like to be tagged in this series, please let me know. All of the parts will be updated along with the corrected tags before the next part is posted in two weeks. I apologize for the inconvenience. As always, please enjoy 💚

Beta: @beating-a-dead-plot

Part 1 || Previous Part | Next Part

After the long trek up the Jedi Temple steps, Wolffe places Cara down onto the ground and lets her walk beside him, but he securely holds her hand. The Temple still makes him feel uneasy, but with a little gentle prodding from Plo, and after passing by several clones, he decides to release Cara's hand and let her walk on her own. He keeps one eye on where he's going and the other on her to make sure she doesn't wander off on him. She's always been a curious child.

As Plo guides the group through the Temple halls to their new quarters he tells Cara a little story that makes her giggle and laugh. It warms Wolffe's heart to hear her laugh and he soaks up as much of it as he can. She's been through so much already, and the funeral is going to ruin any chance of him hearing her laugh in the near future. It's not like he laughs much either. His wife was the one who laughed the most, but it was contagious and he always caught it from her.

Along their journey, Wolffe has to stop Cara from touching things that don't belong to her. She wants to touch everything within reach and most of it belongs to the Jedi or someone else. The rest of the Wolfpack find it amusing and snicker every time Wolffe veers from the group to grab his wandering child. He's never been on babysitting duty before, but his wife made it look easy when they went out together so he thought it wouldn't be an issue for him. He was dead wrong.

"Cara," Wolffe sighs as he sprints over to her once again. This time it's a cube-shaped shiny-looking object sitting on a table. "If you don't stop walking away from me, I'm gonna have to carry you."

"Look! It's pretty," Cara says as she picks up the cube and admires it.

"It's not yours," Wolffe says. He takes the cube from her and places it back down where she found it.

Cara pouts, turns away from Wolffe, and crosses her arms. "But it was pretty…"

Wolffe's eyes soften and he crouches down to her level. "I know, but just because something is pretty doesn't mean you can take it. That's called stealing ."

Cara turns back to face Wolffe, still pouting. "Is stealing bad?"

"Yes, it is," Wolffe says. "The Coruscant Guard can put you in jail for that."

"I don't want to go to jail!" Cara gasps and puts her hands behind her back. "I don't like Fox."

Wolffe tries to hide a snort, but fails terribly. "Don't worry, baby, you won't. As long as you stop touching things that don't belong to you."

"Okay," Cara says. She reaches her arms up for Wolffe to pick her up and he obliges.

Wolffe falls back into step with the rest of the group as Plo continues to direct them through the Temple. With so many twists, turns, and hallways it won't be easy for Cara to leave the temple, even by accident, which is one of Wolffe's major concerns about getting deployed. Actually, he has a whole list of concerns, but he can only focus on one at a time. He never used to be such a worrier, not with his wife around, but now, so many things can go wrong if he's not here with her.

"We have arrived," Plo says as he stops and turns to face a door in the hallway.

Wolffe pulls away from his thoughts when he hears his general's voice and realizes that he's been walking on autopilot for the last stretch of the journey. He'll have to access the Temple maps later to make sure he knows where all of the entrance and exit routes to and from the room are. He'll memorize the entire Temple layout if he has to. He refuses to leave any of this up to chance. There's too much at stake. He can't stay focused on a mission if he's thinking of Cara.

Wolffe places Cara down and takes a hold of her hand. This is new for the both of them, but they'll do it together, even if it's scary. Plo opens the door and Wolffe does an immediate visual scan for threats and initial observations. It's spacious compared to any living quarters the GAR has ever given him, but it looks rather restricting for Cara, who has lived her whole life in a multi-room apartment. It's a simple layout with a bed, desk, wardrobe, window, and no enemies.

Cara grabs Wolffe's leg and steps behind him. He can tell she's nervous, but so is he.

"Daddy," her voice trembles. "I want to go home."

Wolffe twists his neck around to look down at her and sighs. He gives her an encouraging pat on the back and walks forward into the room with her following behind. "This…" he begins, but hesitates. "This is home now." The words taste bitter even for him, but if he's going to convince Cara, he needs to convince himself first. It's definitely not home. Not by a longshot. Home was their apartment. Home was curtains and flowers. Home was a warm meal. Home was his wife.

"Out of the way!" Comet shouts as he barrels past Wolffe and Cara. "Man with the boxes coming through!"

Cara giggles and Wolffe shakes his head as the rest of the Wolfpack files into the small room.

Boost plops down onto the bed and bounces on it with exaggerated motions. "This bed is super soft. Softer than any bed I've ever slept on. You should feel it!"

Cara lets go of Wolffe's leg and runs over to the bed to see for herself.

"Look at this!" Warthog exclaims over his shoulder. "There's a window too. You can see all of Coruscant from here!"

Cara hops off the bed and runs over to look out the window. She's just a tad bit too short, so Warthog picks her up so she can see.

Comet places the boxes down next to the wardrobe and pulls open the doors. "Wow," he says with a big smile. "Lots of space in here, too. You're really staying in luxury, ad'ika."

Wolffe crosses his arms and leans against the doorframe, a small smile creeping onto his face. What was once a terrifying situation is now an exciting adventure thanks to the Wolfpack. They know he's scared just as much as Cara is, even if he'll never admit it, and their exaggerated display has eased some of his own fears. She's smiling, giggling, laughing, exploring, and seems fine right now. They saw her fear and shot it point blank like the good soldiers they are.

"Commander," Plo says, interrupting Wolffe's thoughts. "If you will excuse me, I have a briefing to attend."

Wolffe's small smile turns into a grimace. "Understood," he says. "I'll grab my kit."

"No need," Plo dismisses with a wave of his hand. "I will take the sergeant with me. You are much more needed here."

Wolffe looks at Sinker, who nods in agreement. "I'll report back when the briefing is over."

"And I will meet you all on the terrace in a couple hours," Plo says, a sadness invading his voice.

Wolffe nods in response and watches as the two leave. He worries his lip and wonders what the briefing is about. Normally a briefing means they're about to deploy, but he hopes that this time is the slim case where it's not a deployment order, because the thought of leaving Cara so soon burns a hole right through his gut. They still have the funeral to deal with, and he can't abandon her after that. It would make him a deplorable father and human being, but a very good soldier.

Part 1 || Previous Part | Next Part

Masterlist

AO3

Tag List: @nahoney22 @commander-sunshine @sunshinesdaydream @padawancat97 @verndusk @sun-roach @coraex @lickylickylicky @homemade-clones @523rdrebel @clonemedickix @starrylothcat @moonwrecked @ladyzirkonia @stunkbiggu @cdblake1565 @ladytano420 @moonlightwarriorqueen @anxiouspineapple99 @clonethirstingisreal @dreamie411 @trixie2023 @cw80831 @ca77m3anna @reader6898 @kimiheartblade @dukeoftheblackstar @arc-trooper-8008 @knightprincess @kell-of-storms @skellymom @grindeeloo @totallyunidentified @ladylucksrogue @tesahuy1629 @tanaka @gjrain20-starwars @nerd-ika @imabeautifulbutterfly @tallrock35 @roboticsuccubus83 @totally-not-your-babe @rinwritesfics @t3mpest98 @asyas-daydreaming @vithe-potato @haybellewrites @unicorngirl17

Join my taglist HERE

Tip me a tea on Ko-fi HERE

35 notes · View notes

sergle · 7 months

Note

(re: sssniperwolf and jacksfilms) It's laughable that she escalated it that hard. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty sure stalking him like that is illegal and it's terrifying regardless, but Jack said in a stream (can't remember which one) that he wasn't about bringing up past controversies of hers or cancelling. And now she shows up outside his house (wtf!!!). Like he was willing to only call her out for stealing and freebooting but she's gone and stalked him and Jack doesn't seem like the type of guy to take that shit. Actual WTF moment from her part. wild

omg long post below bc apparently I have opinions: YES!! THAT'S WHAT'S SO INCREDIBLE ABOUT THIS... Jack has been genuinely diligent about keeping things on-topic in his streams, and hasn't brought up any of her other Stuff, or anything Personal. Despite the fact that she kickstarted the whole thing by making it INCREDIBLY personal and attacking his physical appearance... His goal has been to call out and bring attention to content theft, and he's stuck with it. Dude's also cared about this for years, and she's not the first content thief he's criticized. He just hates the way that freebooting has become so accepted-- to the point where youtube praised her for "coming up with such creative video ideas"? Hey! Ew! Dude wasn't trying to get her cancelled though, there was no smear campaign of her character. He's been rallying to get her to CREDIT the creators that she relies on for all of her content. It would set a precedent for all other "react" channels on the platform for one of the biggest channels on youtube to actually give credit where credit is due. Or, god forbid, get permission first? It's not hard. It's already done the job of making some other people who do "react content" self-analyze whether or not their content is transformative, and to maybe care about crediting the creators they rely on for their genre to work. There is a way to make this kind of video that isn't so slimy. And making fun of her lackluster-at-best reactions is so far from even being a big deal. Bc she literally does just sit there and say nothing. Plus, his goal has a clear End built into it: if she started shouting out the creators she takes content from, and put links directly to their pages in her video descriptions, the job would be done! That's what he's asking her to do. Real bare minimum stuff. It legit would have been easy to steer away from the content theft and to also talk about her history of lying to her audience! her ghosting a dying kid with cancer who was a big fan of hers! the fact that she's been arrested for armed robbery! her history of transphobia! He would also get more clicks that way, which is what she claims is his sole goal- to get more clicks. I'll bring it up though! She's been a terrible person the whole time, and has kept a steady course of manipulating her audience of young children and/or, let's be completely honest, simps- into thinking that she's a Wholesome creator. (And now, into thinking she's an innocent victim.) All of the actual effort put in by her has gone toward optics, not the content she puts out. A carefully constructed online persona, for one, but also literal appearances. Jack totally can't say this, bc she already went off the handle and said the only reason he doesn't like her is bc he Hates To See A Woman Be Successful. But I can! That was a cheap shot for her to use that argument when, for once, it's not applicable! Much the opposite, even! Dudes online wouldn't go to bat for her if she didn't look the way she does. And it weakens any case she'd have against him by making baseless claims like that. She banks hugely on being an attractive woman to get her clicks/following. A massive amount of effort is put into her appearance. The makeup, the lip fillers, putting her hair in little pigtails, the chokers and tube tops, the big non-prescription Nerd Glasses, the thumbnails where she has her mouth open in That Expression?

I don't even have to say anything. But making a weird facial expression and putting your hair in pigtails aren't moral failings. Showing up at someone's real life home (whose address you shouldn't even have access to), filming the front of their house at night, doxxing them to your audience of millions of people? Because you were mad at them online? That is fully scary! Yeah girl I'm pretty sure that Jack can press charges! There is absolutely no way to take the moral highground now that she's literally stalked him, and doxxed his home. She tried to goad him and Erin (Jack's wife) out of the house, also, which creeps me out even more-- because what was she planning to do? The fact that she's been arrested for violent crime before does pop into my mind! lmao! Jack was streaming a game at the time that she was outside his home, and these clips of him, his friends, and Erin reacting in real time to what is genuinely a scary situation have been taken down in case he needs to use them in legal action. Shit is legitimately serious!

#sergle answers #long post #LONGEST POST ON EARTH I'M SO SORRY #saying all this out loud only takes a few minutes but typing it... girl this is a BOOK #clearly I have thoughts on this Online Drama but also this isn't online!#these are people who exist in real life. and compromising a person's safety bc he criticized you for stealing tiktoks #is a real life thing. this isn't confined to online spaces! you can turn off your computer to get away from An Argument #but someone going to your house?? that's absolutely terrifying #and all of this is just because he's been telling her to credit the creators. it could have been resolved so simply.#I hope he takes legal action against her bc he genuinely has grounds to do so.#and I can't imagine how terrified and upset I would be if someone was outside my door. filming my house for their audience.#also the 'what if the roles were reversed' argument is rarely made in good faith... but she's already brought up the topic.#this would be getting even more coverage and the optics would be Even Creepier if a strange man with millions of followers showed up #at the home of a woman- just bc she criticized his videos- filming her home address for all to see and trying to get her to come outside.#It's just as creepy that sssniperwolf did this as it would be coming from ANYONE else #it's been downplayed bc her being a little skinny woman means that A Man shouldn't be threatened by her #which. even if she wasn't going to Do anything. any one of her rabidly loyal online followers MIGHT. she's not the only one who could go to #his house now! anyone could show up.#sergle.txt #Jacksfilms #Sssniperwolf

480 notes · View notes

desultory-novice · 7 months

Text

Where comes the idea that Kirby "needs adult guidance?" When has Kirby been shown to ever need guidance by anybody outside of the extraordinary circumstances of Rainbow Curse and Mass Attack?

Kirby is always the one doing the guiding. He's at the head of the party. He also isn't native to Dream Land and we're left to assume he cared for himself perfectly fine before arriving there in DL1.

(Let's not be so quick to remove "traveling" from "traveling youth." Remember that the travels Kirby have been on are inter-planetary ones. This isn't the anime where he was a sleeping infant. The series tells us he's been on galactic adventures before arriving on Popstar.)

Kirby IS a childish character, of that there is no doubt. They are quite likely to be a childish child! But Kirby is no one's dependant.

Kirby is perfectly capable of surviving alone, on their own, in situations that have toppled kingdoms. He can also logic out what is going around him with only loose context. In fact, he picks up on complex situations like Susie's and Taranzas really fast.

Kirby can be young. How young is up to each individual person. If it's your HC or you want to write familial relationships with him and the cast, by all means, write him as whatever is cutest/most fulfilling!

But for the series in a general sense? The evidence of Kirby needing other's supervision, protection, and guidance isn't there.

#I would've reblogged the original post...#...but given this is an argument AGAINST it felt wrong #Anyway I don't wish to step on anyone's toes about this #My own views of Kirby are close-ish to "an ageless being”#And that's a trope a lot of stuff has perverted for 'fan service'#(Something I'm pretty upset about if I'm being honest)#(Before Fire Emblem being a 1000 year old dragon...#...who looked like a teenager was a COOL thing >.> )#TLDR: I GET it. A lot of us want to protect Kirby from that #I'm not trying to convince anyone to buy my vision...#...but I'm VERY(!) against removing a character's agency...#...especially when they demonstrably possess it...!#This part is more nitpicky toward the original post but...#...you can be idealistic (and naive) at any age!#(Not every adult is jaded and world weary XD)#Also 'trouble reading' is a really common ND trait!#I know what you meant by that though so...#...I didn't want to use it as a point of critique #Also I'm sorry (/srs) if the original post was something...#...you considered not up for debate/didn't want to debate #Having a rocky weekend. Didn't mean to take it out on anyone #Dess Rambling #Dess Theories

70 notes · View notes

napstawantstosleep · 2 years

Text

Eret when he became a scientist to look at strange things idk haven't seen the show

#eret #eret fanart #the eret #eret art #mcyt #mcyt fanart #Scientist? More like therapist because I know y'all need one (I'm y'all)#But I'm upset I haven't seen any fanart about this and this picture has been running miles rent free in my mind #Thank u cg5 for giving us a bop and unlocking a new Eret fit from the bottom of my heart #Btw sorry for the inactivity my living schedule keeps changing everyday and whenever I wake up I play genshin eat and go to sleep #My nights are long and by long I mean between 10 and 20 hours #Sometime I straight up forget to wake up ig 💀#Renting in the tag when really I should just go to sleep #I have no idea what god put in me to make me so unfunctional. Is it because I'm gay?? So homophobic of him... /j #If anyone see these tags no you won't #But IF hypothetically someone were to see them and wanted to rb this post write 'going to therapy with op hand in hand' in the tag and #We'll go on a therapy date <3

890 notes · View notes

familyofpaladins · 9 months

Text

I HAD A REVELATION

okay so I was thinking about gender. My gender. And my feelings about being a cis girl over time.

When I was little I used to wear all kinds of dresses and wore nail polish and even occasionally makeup (but like. Sloppily as a 7 year old would lol) and how overtime I stopped wearing nail polish and stopped wearing dresses and despised make up. I dont really remeber why I stopped with nail polish. Maybe because it flaked off too easily or maybe I was sick of the few colors we had idk. I know I gradually stopped wearing dresses and night gowns because I was sick of being told I couldnt "put my legs up [up against the wall or just straight up in the air] or that I had to sit a certain way while wearing one. So I wore more and more pants.

I think about how i used to stand in the toys aisles while my mom did grocery shopping and look at "The Boys" section and think how much cooler it was than the girls section.

And I think about how my music teacher told us one day we'd hit puberty and we'd grow and us girls would be like "[in a high pitched voice] OH MY GOSH I LOVE BOYS AND DID YOU HEAR ABOUT SO AND SO" and I looked over at my classmates and friends to see if they were also terrified of becoming annoying teenage boy-obsessed girls.

And i think about how when I was at my friend's house and we were building "tree forts" in the woods i would wish I had a penis for the convenience of being able to just go pee behind a tree, because squatting near the ground was Not Fun and I hated walking all the way back to the house. And I think about how I hated that I'd have to wear a bra once my boobs started to come in

Now you might be thinking. Friend I think you want[ed] to be a boy. But the thing is, i dont.

I may have hated being restricted in dresses but I dont actually hate them. I've gotten a couple dresses in the last 10 years (for prom and graduation and a [not my] wedding) and how I actually did like how I looked in them and enjoyed wearing them for that time.

I think about how I was jealous of the boys selection of toys, but also how I had a ton of barbies that I massively enjoyed and how if I'd been a boy I probably wouldnt have been able to enjoy them (thanks to pressure from society) as well as a bunch of other "girly" items and shows and movies. I think about how I'm actually Asexual and that I wasnt scared of becoming "a young woman", I just didnt understand the obsession with sex/romance/boyfriend&girlfriend stuff.

And while having a penis is more convenient for peeing I also remeber thinking that it would suck to get kicked in the balls and/or that trope of falling on soemthign between your legs that happens in so many movies (not that it feels any better with a vagina honestly). And that if I had been born a boy I'd most likely have to deal with all the toxic masculinity forced on me, and I'm glad I dont have to deal with that.

And while me and my boobs dont always get along, I remember that after getting my first cute bra, I thought. Oh well maybe this isnt so bad. And I mostly wear sports bras now because I do wish they were smaller and I HATE that so many bras (EVEN THE SPORTS BRAS) are already padded into cup shapes, and while I don't mind Having Boobs, i Do Not want to show them off. And sometimes i think that maybe i wouldn't mind chopping them off, but then i think how my figure/outline/silhouette would look with out them, and that seems worse.

And i think about the times I've accidentally been called "Sir" from tired fast food employees when wearing gender nonspecific clothing and felt happy about it. But not "oh it feels right to be called sir/he/him" , but more of "hehe I fooled you! You thought this was a dress but its pants!"

And really this is all to say. I was born a girl and grew up that way so it's what I'm used to. If I'd been born with a dick then I guess I'd be a guy. If you magically stuck me in a male body right now, would I feel like a Guy or feel like a girl in a guys body? I honestly dont know. So am I non binary? Maybe that that doesnt quite feel right either.

Being a girl is what I've grown up as and into, and it's what I'm used to and going by anything else is… odd. Maybe itd be better and maybe it wouldnt. It's like an old blanket. You've had it forever and maybe its frayed and patched maybe a little too small and it's not what people expect you to have for a blanket, and maybe you could do with a new one. But nothing feels right with out it. No other blanket feels the same. It's what you're used to and its familar. It's a comfort blanket.

And that's why being a [cis] girl is my comfort gender.

#Sorry that got LONG #This is a very personal post and I dont mind it being reblogged if anyone wants to #But dont be weird about it please. Dont tell me I'm an egg or actually trans or nb. Cause I'm not #*points at post* I'm a girl. It's my comfort gender :)#(edit: I don't mind if the 'wrong' pronouns get used. Like if someone uses he or they for me I'm not gonna be upset #I more just dont want labels put on my gender besides cis or comfort gender )#Man I need that post where it's like so many asexual people are removed from gender. Cause yeah that kinda fits #Maybe I'm agender or soemthing. But mostly I'm Chill With Being A Girl #Also feel free to also totally ignore this post #I'm just rambling about thoughts #Gender identity #Comfort gender #Its after midnight so I apologize if none of this makes sense or like. There are unfinished thoughts lol

32 notes · View notes

starscreaming666 · 2 years

Text

I noticed that people were enjoying the plushies so uh *breaks your vessel*

#TUMBLR KEEPS CRASHING WHEN I TRY TO UPLOAD THE OTHER ONE I'M upset :)#I made another plushie that I wanted to post first but tumblr said :) no :)#I did this lil guy from memory so if anyone's wondering about their horns being on the wrong side that's why #I need to get a better camera :)#I know I said this but I saw the reception to Elderbug and I want to like. Reblog with a reaction pic or something because all the love #Made me really happy :'3 #I'm glad so many people appreciated them!! I have a ton of fun making these whenever I have time so seeing that people get joy out of it #Makes me glad! :D #Sorry about the block of tags I just have a lot of feelings #Hollow knight #Broken vessel #Plushies #sewing

195 notes · View notes

splatoon-countdown · 30 days

Note

hey, so... you DO know right that if you check out side order on the nintendo e-shop, it has a confirmed release date? 31/12/2024

..... Did this ask time travel, or...?

#ask #avfrisk #not a countdown #Crying. Even if this ask didnt time travel #That date was wrong. It was just an estimate. And especially since I made this acc when they announced it would be spring..#That's even more to make you think 'oh maybe this date was wrong' because while yeah it didnt release in spring well #At least. It released near spring? Dude if it released in winter when they said spring i wouldve been soooo upset #Anyway sorry for the inactivity again. Been really low on energy‚ got accepted into a zine‚ and stuff happened irl #After I finish my zine stuff I'll draw some more here. Oh man #Theres a really old ask that ive been wanting to draw something for but i just havent had time!!#Okay‚ thats all for now. It's actually pretty late when I'm writing this‚ not when its posted.. And I should be asleep by now.#It's my birthday. I need to get up...... Earlier than usual for activities. See ya!#(Does anyone read the tag rambling i do..?)

9 notes · View notes

feral-radfem · 1 year

Text

I'm not going to be tone policed on how I talk about any subject whether it personally affects any of you or not. I am certainly not going to be persuaded to speak more kindly to my oppressors and/or direct political opponents because they are personally affected by the issue I'm talking about.

Some of y'all are letting the female socialization that demands we be kind and considerate at the expense of ourselves (& our social movements) push you right into sugar coating important topics and out of being an effective communicator.

#cutting off any healthy tissue for an aesthetic or mental anguish is mutilation #I'm sorry if that hurts some of y'all's feelings but it's the truth of the matter #whether or not if they are kinder ways to say this is irrelevant #I'm not going to sit here and tell y'all how to talk about any subject so that you don't upset anyone #& I would personally like to stop seeing 50 different variations of the same post telling me what the appropriate way of discussing this is #I'm here to liberate women not coddle you or should you from the criticisms of your actions #we are sisters in arms in a sociopolitical fight not friends.#lily responds #like I was going to keep my mouth shut when you were just discussing that you would like for people not to say this because you are radfems #& want to feel welcomed & comfortable n the spaces you have a fool right to be in regardless if I think it's our job to ensure that comfort #but telling me I can't describe mutilation as it is bc it's hurting the trans ppl who are actively destroying my rights on mult axises?#fuck no lol. I'm not putting in effort work to spare their feelings.#especially when it seems like the most direct blunt way of describing things it's the only way to get through to them #y'all are out of your damn minds lol #ok im done #rant

27 notes · View notes

eoinmcgonigal · 5 months

Text

it's really upsetting me so to get it off my chest i'm gonna confess that the positivity posts i saw yesterday really hurt. i didn't realise that was a thing in this fandom, and i wish it wasn't because those things inevitably leave people feeling left out and like their presence isn't worth anything to the fandom (plus readers, rebloggers and commenters are integral to fandom community but don't usually get a shoutout). i'm already struggling because of this horrible trend towards using threads in discord which renders most of the servers inaccessible to me, i feel extremely isolated and alone and unwanted, but i was doing okay muddling along churning out fic and a few silly polls and posts now and then until yesterday. the fic i posted today just made me feel so sad after i posted it. it was a lovely fic :( but like what is the point. if i'm worth so little i might as well not be here. why put the effort into making things if no one notices. i already feel so lonely it's like i'm being torn in two, posting things now and then brought me comfort but idk what i have now

#i'm in a deleting everything kinda mood #no one remembered me? oh. okay :(#fuckin hurts so much #i want to finish the johnny stuff but i feel so unbearably miserable now and i don't want to spend hogmanay like that #but i also can't bear to leave it unfinished #i wish i'd never scrolled my dash yesterday then i'd never have known about those posts #it brought me so much joy to write and share those fic #absolutely crushing to discover i don't inspire the same joy in the fandom #i was kinda impressed with having written so much i thought it was kinda cool #maybe it's just really fucking annoying idk #sorry just so lonely and upset and the places i find sanctuary are falling to pieces and i'd actually like to die now thanks #so much shit is going on irl you have no idea and i don't have a support network it's terrifying #nothing i do is worth anything #no one wants me #did u no my mother discarded all the photos that had me in them? kid me just. discarded. she took everyone else and threw me out #shit like that hurts i wish i had a new family or friends to chat to as a distraction when shit gets bad #i mean i get discord dm notifications (not server mentions) if anyone dms me but lol guess how often that happens #i get tumblr dm notifications it's been the only place i've talked to anyone for ages so shoutout to those two wonderful people #god i just. want to be included?#i tried #i failed #fuck.#maybe this is goodbye idk i had stuff to finish up/share #and a million more fics i wanted to write #i don't even know if i can face doing tomorrow's johnny fic #i wanted to do the 12 days of christmas too :(#but the fact now exists that i just... wasn't good enough for this fandom :'(#also i can't face the notifications tab #if it's not a Direct Message i won't see it #god there was SO MUCH i wanted to share! there were gifs i was gonna make to share the suffering and gift fic and silly posts

4 notes · View notes

bluemauve · 16 days

Text

one of the worst experiences of my life is reading 230k+ words of a 270k+ word fic just to realise i literally hate everything about it

#this is such a me problem like i am TRYINGG to give fics a chance but i cant #it's me hi i'm the problem it's me #and like once i start looking at how mischarcterized a certain character *Cough is i just have to #click off like ugh he would not say that #but do i know what he would say? no #i dont think he would have gotten himself into this situation in the first place but go off ig #this is what i get for listening to fic recs #never trusting anyone ever again #why is this fic in there? is it cause it's long? idfk but that guy is not [REDACTED]#sorry this is such a vent post im so upset i just wasted like 8 hours and it's MY fault #i said id be less picky just to realise why i was so picky in the first place lol #whatever idc #wow i need sleep #if you send anon hate about this im blocking you idgaf

4 notes · View notes

cowardlycowboys · 2 months

Note

stretch marks are a normal part of being human. Don’t make others (including yourself) feel bad about having them.

I can post about being upset with them and not liking them on my blog because at the end of the day it's my blog I'm sorry

#obviously i don't intend to make anyone feel bad but also i can be upset on my blog about things i don't like and if u don't like it you can #block my tags or just unfollow me or we can come up with a tag for just specific selfhate to go if you don't want to do either #but I'm not gonna stop posting how i feel on my blog I'm very very sorry genuinely #like I'm not a positivity blog or a motivation blog I'm just me posting about how i feel or what I'm doing throughout my day #again I'm very sorry genuinely

2 notes · View notes

hollowsart · 9 months

Text

always a shame when a character gets a live action adaptation and you try to search up the character for art of their non live action self but you get 90% of JUST the actor in the tag(s). this does nothing to help with artistic inspiration or reference to see other people's designs and takes on the character in general.

not everyone tags "redesign" or "[character] redesign" or anything of the like, so simply searching that will only provide you with like.. maybe 10 posts if you're lucky.

forced to blacklist the actor's name, but still forced to see untagged posts of the live action iteration showing up anyway cuz once again, not everyone will tag the actor when it pertains the the character they're playing. (..I am also at fault here with my few molina doc ock pieces I've done..)

the tumblr tagging system is in shambles and it has always been this way and continues to be this way.

#ghostie mumbles #sorry I was looking up kraven last night to help me with that unmasked design I posted earlier and all I got was the actor dskjhfdk #he is not what I was wanting skjhfsdkhdsf #also I relate to this one person in the search who said in the tags of their post that they don't want to use the actor for reference #same op. same.#also for the record this post is lighthearted sdkfhkds I'm not angry or upset!!! I'm not attacking anyone!!!

11 notes · View notes

sleepingfancies · 6 months

Text

god what i wouldn't give to be the kind of person who can take hits and go "oh well ^-^" and mean it

#personal #sorry for posting things that sound like taylor swift lyrics im in my epic frozen in panic era #something about me is i will avoid the problem like i'm being paid to do it. and all the while it will be upsetting me #this isn't vague posting btw in case this worries anyone. this is about my thesis being trashed 3 weeks out from final submission

5 notes · View notes

catgirledteach · 7 months

Text

tw suicide and spoilers for the finale

i'm really trying to see the positive in the finale but it just sits sour in my stomach. again i dont want to get bogged down completely by izzy's death as there was so much else in the finale that i genuinely loved, but this event really gets to me for a specific reason

as someone who has dealt with suicidal thoughts in the past i am genuinely upset if this is how izzy's story ends. and even more upset that it seems to be framed as 'meant to be' and 'simply unavoidable.' the first three episodes REALLY drove home izzy's belief that he had nothing to live for - he wanted to die and he very explicitly tried to kill himself. and i was glad they portrayed that at the time and even more encouraged when in episodes 4 through 7 it seemed like he was recovering mentally and emotionally. he was portrayed as having found purpose beyond serving someone who didn't love him back, accepting parts of himself he was previously ashamed of, getting support from people around him, etc. it truly was reading to me like an incredible portrayal of someone finally valuing their own life that they had been so ready to throw away before now

and then all of the sudden in the finale it feels like all of that is ripped away. he repeatedly says he doesn't care if he dies, that he's ready to go, and it all feels so upsetting considering where he started the season. and yes i can absolutely see the argument that now he was dying for the cause of protecting the legacy of piracy, but was he though? was that necessary for them to all escape? and more importantly does that change the fact that izzy was still completely ready to put his life in danger again for the sake of other people's safety? part of the comfort of found family is also learning to value your well-being and safety the same way those around you do, at least to me. and his lines about being surrounded by family ring incredibly hollow when the family surrounding him doesn't seem to be upset by his willingness to sacrifice himself for no particular reason.

as someone who is in a far better place than i was two or even one year ago, this hurt and it hurt deeply and a story that once felt like a safe space is one i no longer feel like i can trust. even if a third season comes out (and at this point i think i would still watch it if it came out) i can no longer relax when watching because i can no longer have faith that there will be a happy ending for characters i believe deserve one.

olu says the line about jim in episode three, 'we're best friends. family. someone i'd like to see grow old just like all my other friends.' to me this means i want to see my friends, my family, die in peace in their own time. the audience is watching a supposedly comforting romcom and one would assume they want to see the family that's been built onscreen have happy endings. i know it may sound extreme but it feels like a betrayal. personally it felt like the story was telling me, 'this is the only way it could have ended for izzy. he wanted to die because he was convinced he would never live happily and in the end he was right,' and luckily i'm at a point now where i refuse to believe that's true. that someone can go so far down their path of self hatred that the only way for their story to end is in their untimely death. and in a way i'm glad that i'm as upset as i am because it means i do not buy into that narrative for myself. i still value every other positive lessons and introspection this show has given me, but this is certainly a misstep that i don't know if i can ever truly forgive, and it has certainly tainted the story forever for me.

#if you're also upset i'm sorry #if you also interpret all of this differently that's totally cool and i recognize that my views are not universal #but if you are upset i encourage you to do whatever you need to do to process aside from taking out your negative emotions on others #log off if you need block any tags you need to block don't feel obligated to engage #i may or may not respond to any responses to this post and i hope anyone reading or responding understands that #be well friends and take care of yourselves #and whatever happens next with ofmd i am still so grateful for the friends ive made through this fandom and the happy moments had before no #and i plan to still hold on to those even if some of yall have to take a break for a while i get it and i'll be here #tw suicide #ofmd #ofmd spoilers #i might delete later

5 notes · View notes