#Its Big Big World Tree Pal Bob | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

heavy-lobster · 3 years

Note

POST THE FUCKING ESSAY KOAL/DUSTY I SWEAR TO GOD

WAIT I THOUGHT YOU READ IT ALREADY??? DID I SERIOUSLY NOT SEND IT TO YOU WHEN I INITIALLY FINISHED IT??? GOD WHAT THE FUCK

Well I can’t NOT post it now.

So for some background, the assignment was to write a short essay arguing as to why a children’s series of our choosing could be classified as horror, based on some article we had to read. I chose Wow Wow Wubbzy because I thought it would be funny and. man. So anyways this is VERY poorly written because I did most of it between like,,, midnight and 3 am. It’s very ranty and way longer than it needed to be. For ease of reading I went back and fixed up the shitty formatting and fixed a few spelling errors, as well as linking my sources.

So uhhh this is about horror so,, warning for horror ig?? It’s not scary like, at all, but better safe than sorry.

Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!: The Horror Within

Introduction

“Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!” is an American TV show originally aired on Nick Jr. From the mind of Bob Boyle, this educational kid’s show was very memorable for a lot of kids growing up at that time. The show features Wubbzy, a yellow, square, animalistic character, with a curly, “springy” tail; as well as Wubbzy’s various friends. Most episodes feature Wubbzy and his pals, Widget and Walden (as well as Daizy in later episodes), dealing with an every day situation, or well, depends on your definition of “every day”. The situation spirals out of control because of the actions of various characters, and it is resolved by the problematic character of the episode learning a lesson and fixing their mistake. Seems like a typical kids show, right? Well, there may be more to it than that. What if I told you that Wow! Wow! Wubbzy! could be interrupted as a horror show about horrifically mutated beasts struggling to survive the post apocalyptic world they are forced to inhabit? Wow! Wow! Wubbzy! fits many categories described in Sharon A. Russell’s literary criticism in “What is the Horror Genre?”. In this essay we will discuss how Wow! Wow! Wubbzy! could possibly be classified as a horror series.

Asking the real questions; what is everyone?

First of all, a very important question. What exactly are the characters? There are claims that Wubbzy himself is some kind of gerbil, but frankly I don’t see it. Also, what’s the deal with the inhabitants of Wuzzleburg in general? Wubbzy and his friends are supposed to be anthropomorphic animals, but they seem more like horrific monsters, mutated from normal animals. Monsters are a very common and important element in horror. Not all monsters are vicious killers, and not all of them are obvious in appearance. Some monsters are small and cute, but it’s almost always a facade.

There are also some “regular” animals running around, but yet they aren’t “normal” by any stretch of the imagination. Some are very obviously not normal, others seem mostly normal. “Flutterflies” are a common, non-anthro animal seen in Wubbzy, with their most prominent appearance being in the episode “The Flight of the Flutterfly”. Flutterflies seem like normal butterflies, but why are they called “Flutterflies” instead? Are they in any way different to the butterflies of our world, or is that just what the inhabitants of Wuzzleburg call butterflies? What about the more blatantly odd non-anthro animals? In “Attack of the 50 Foot Fleegle” Wubbzy acquires a pet “Fleegle”. It appears to be a small, purple, almost hamster like creature. It remains small and happy if you feed it the right kind of food, but Wubbzy foolishly feeds it candy and sweets. When fed candy, the Fleegle increases in size in increasingly large increments. After a time, it becomes so big that it rampages all over Wuzzleburg. The only thing that could shrink it back to normal size was carrot juice. When fed bologna, they multiply, and the solution to this is unknown, as the episode ends there and this is never brought up again.

There are plenty of strange animals, both anthropomorphic and not; yet no humans. Not a single human character in sight. This begs the question, what happened? Why are all these animals how they are? What happened to the humans? Obviously, these questions were never answered, as this is a kids show. Here is a thought to consider: what if all the humans are dead, and all the characters are mutant abominations, or, monsters as they’d more fittingly be called. Humans have been wiped out, and the animals who survived mutated in many different ways. Some animals became intelligent, and capable of building their own society similar to what once was our own. That society is what we know as Wuzzleburg. In conclusion, all the creatures seen in the show are the result of something terrible; mutated abominations passing as animals. This fits the “monster” category of horror as described in Russell’s article.

What’s the deal with Wuzzleburg?

Wow! Wow! Wubbzy! takes place in the fictional town of Wuzzleburg. Wuzzleburg and its surrounding locations look very odd. Everything is unnaturally geometric. Everything- from houses to trees- is very odd in appearance. Tree branches are often bendy, always at a right angle, with the edges being smooth and rounded. In Wuzzleburg, many houses look like completely normal houses, yet Wubbzy lives in a tree house. Another common thing is that houses and buildings of importance are usually designed based on a specific object. Daizy’s house, for example, is shaped like a flower.

Outside of Wuzzleburg, the locations only get weirder. There is an island, shown to be somewhere off the coast of Wuzzleburg, called “Dino Island”. As the name suggests, this island is inhabited by dinosaurs. So apparently, dinosaurs are not extinct in this universe; at least on this island. As far as other towns go, there is Wuzzlewood, clearly based on Hollywood, where all the biggest celebrities in the Wubbzy cinematic universe (WCU) live. Everything in Wuzzlewood is covered in stars, a clever spin of the celebrity theme. Another interesting location is Plaidville. In Plaidville, everything is plaid; the trees, the ground, and even the inhabitants. I don’t have to explain what is unnatural about that.

Now, back on the topic of Wuzzleburg, since it is the main location seen in the show, and is where Wubbzy and his friends live. It has been stated that Wuzzleburg was founded in 1853 by “Heinrich van Wuzzle”. The specific year being given is an odd detail, that you wouldn’t normally expect in a show of this nature. Wuzzleburg is clearly a town in every sense of the word. It has plenty of stores and restaurants, an airport, houses, residents, a mayor, a rich history, annual festivities, reliable transportation, schools, and even a stable economy. All of this being made by what we have already established as horrific monsters. That’s impressive. There is common debate in the Wubbzy fandom on whether these locations are in a parallel universe, or perhaps if they exist on our Earth. In the episode “Fly Us To The Moon”, the place where they land back on “Earth” appears to suggest that Wuzzleburg is located somewhere in or near Washington state, in America, or possibly somewhere in British Columbia.

My theory is that the events of Wow! Wow! Wubbzy! takes place on Earth, but certainly not our Earth. An alternate Earth, where humans may have lived before. Some horrible nuclear accident wiped out all human life, and caused all the animals to mutate into the many strange creatures of the WCU. This also explains the unnatural features of the setting. Post-apocalyptic Earth? Sounds like a perfect horror setting to me. This fits perfectly with the criteria described in Sharon’s article.

The beast within; Wubbzy’s true villain

Finally, the matter of the deep internal conflict hidden deep within the show. In the show, you can expect every episode to have a lesson or moral, as many kids shows do. Most episodes feature one of the main characters (almost always Wubbzy) making a mistake, followed by them learning the lesson of the episode and using their newfound knowledge to make things right. What if I told you that this is sign of a much deeper internal conflict going on far beneath the character’s cute exterior? Would it be so far fetched to believe that every episode is focused on the anthropomorphic abominations struggling to fight against their beastly instincts? Their own organized and civilized society goes against their very nature, and they constantly fight to uphold the standards they set; both for themselves, and each other. It's a constantly uphill climb. Wubbzy is undeniably a flawed character. He messes up constantly, often learning the same lessons over and over again, as if it’s more of a reminder than a lesson. It’s Wubbzy against himself. This fits Sharon’s criteria of internal horror, but that’s not all.

Wow! Wow! Wubbzy! is also the story of a quest for self improvement, as well as a good vs evil scenario, which are two of Russell’s other criteria. I mean, think about it. Every character is open to self improvement once they realize the harm they’ve caused. Every character is on their own quest, seeking to better themselves. Every character is going through their own internal battle. They fight their own flaws. Their own evils. The true villain of Wow! Wow! Wubbzy! is the evil within all of them, the beastly instincts lurking within all of Wuzzleberg’s monster inhabitants. And they may not always be perfect, maybe they don’t know how to be “good”, maybe being good just isn’t in their nature; but they try their best despite all the challenges, to be better, and improve themselves.

In that way I think we can all relate to them. We aren’t always “good”, we aren’t perfect, sometimes we don’t know how to do the “right” thing, but our flaws are what make us human. It may not be in our nature to be flawless, but it is in our nature to seek self improvement, and that’s what Wubbzy is really about. The struggles we all go through to be better people, because inside? We’re all just monsters trying our best to be civil, and conform to our moral code. And really? That’s enough.

Conclusion

Wow! Wow! Wubbzy! is undeniably a kid’s show at heart, but if you really stop to analyze it, you find a much darker horror series. It would be fittingly classified as a psychological horror. It fits almost all of Sharon A. Russell’s criteria as described in the article “What is the Horror Genre?”. What is Wubbzy? In fact, what are all of the show’s characters? Their vaguely animal appearance appeal to young children, but I believe that they may actually be normal animals mutated into horrible monsters. Freaks of nature created by a nuclear incident. There is not a single human seen in the show, but plenty of abnormal creatures. This suggests that we are long gone. The monsters we left behind built their own society.

Not only were the animals affected, but also the earth itself. The odd nature of the setting supports my nuclear devastation theory. Finally, is the true conflict of Wubbzy. The show itself is about nuclear monsters trying their best to adapt to the society they built for themselves, even if it goes against their own nature. It’s beasts on a quest where the only objective is the betterment of the self. An internal conflict. There is no physical villain in the show. The only antagonist out to get Wubbzy, is Wubbzy himself. In that way, I think we can all relate. In conclusion, Wow! Wow! Wubbzy! is actually about horribly mutated animals fighting their inner demons, on a metaphorical journey to be better than they are. For that very reason, I believe it could be interrupted as a horror series.

Sources:

Wubbzy Wikipedia page

Wubbzy Fandom Wiki, which I did NOT know existed before this project and honestly the comments on the page were the funniest fucking thing, I highly recommend it

And uhhh various episodes of Wubbzy I had to watch

I apologize for my crimes

12 notes · View notes

themsource · 4 years

Text

Fransweek 2020 Day 6

Theme: Fairytale Rating: M TW: Parental Abuse Pairing: (Faerytale) FT Sans/Frisk Word Count: 8,165

This wanted to be more than a one shot so I apologize if it reads funny at all ^^; @fransweek

Frisk was crying, her hands shaking and body numb.

A new purple bruise forming already on her arm, just above her elbow. Deep down she knew she’d probably deserved it, but it didn’t make the shock or sting any less.

She sniffled as she walked, her eyes staring at nothing as her thoughts roamed. Frisk didn’t have a destination in mind nor a goal, she just let her feet carry her aimlessly further and further from her house. She only wanted a break, a place to gather herself.

That’s when she saw it.

The trees parted ahead, a small trail of shorter grass among chest high fauna that led away into what looked like a brightly lit alcove.

Frisk stilled as she stared at it.

Had it always been there? How far had she wandered from the village?

She glanced back behind her and contemplated returning but loud shouting still echoed in her head. How seething rage made her ears ring had Frisk swallowing nervously.

Exploring a little longer wouldn’t hurt her.

What could go wrong?

Steeling her racing heart Frisk turned curiously to the path and pushed ahead, her eyes wide and observing as the fauna gradually grew contrasted and vibrant the longer she walked. Dulled greens shifted into brighter almost yellow shades and purples turned nearly cyan, the coloring giving an almost glass like effect that glimmered in the shaded light.

She stopped next to a plant that looked suspiciously like a sunflower, the petals giving a slight tingle to her fingertips as she lightly grazed the almost translucent edges.

She sucked in a breath as tiny tendrils wisped out and curled, almost latched onto her in a feather light caress. Blinking as she realized how bizarre that was she leapt back, hissing through her teeth as the tendrils seemingly dissolved at the loss of contact.

Frisk stood there dumbly staring at the seemingly innocent plant.

Shaking her head she decided to continue forward, her feet pressing into soft icy blue moss until she entered a wide open space.

Right away her eyes panned the perimeter.

There were tightly packed and thick trees forming a perfect circle that even a sheet of parchment would struggle to slip through, the only entrance or exit she could perceive being the path she’d taken, and not a single blade of grass appeared uneven in length.

It was calming.

Taking a hesitant step forward her eyes slipped down to a small pond perfectly situated towards the center but fading off into the treeline. Its crystal clear water, so pure that she could see the bottom swarming with plentiful fish and ivy, shimmered hypnotically beneath the small rays of light that pierced the trees canopy overhead.

But that wasn’t what had her attention..

It was a ring of mushrooms.

Pure gold and in perfect formation it sat precisely center and in front of the water’s edge, no other plants or weeds to be seen in the clearing aside from it.

As if entranced Frisk walked slowly closer, pausing as she noticed the grass at its center glimmered with a rainbow tinted light, refracted colors both alluring and mesmerizing dancing across the space big enough that she could lay in it with no problem.

It did look inviting, the perfect circle comforting to gaze at as if it was a golden wall against anyone that would try to harm her.

The thought of stepping in for a nap briefly flitted across her mind.

Her brows furrowed at how quickly she’d contemplated such a thing.

She...didn’t feel too safe suddenly looking at it.

The circle was so otherworldly and strange it gave her a sense of cautious foreboding.

She glanced around the beautiful expanse one last time before deciding she’d seen enough. If her gut was telling her this area was a red flag she wasn’t about to ignore it.

Frisk was about to turn and leave when—

“H u m a n,” Frisk froze in place, her heart starting to hammer like it wanted to burst from her chest.

She had been alone she was sure of it...human?

The voice spoke again, it’s cadence slow and almost amused sounding. “don’t you know how to greet a new pal?”

Pal?

“turn around and shake my hand.” Slowly Frisk turned, ringing in her ears as her eyes locked on who had called out to her in a baritone so low she could feel it’s vibration practically in her chest.

She had to bite her tongue to keep from gasping in shock.

It was a skeleton, wearing a sapphire blue cloak with a skeletal hand outstretched, thick phalanges gently curled and, somehow, palm cupped welcomingly. Where eyes would be floated two orbs of white light, faintly bobbing as they locked on her, with a benign grin of wide and pure white teeth.

Despite how friendly and inviting his demeanor looked Frisk noticed his expression seemed disturbingly detached.

Another red flag.

Frisk’s eyes drifted down to the hand he held out.

His hand wasn’t reaching out pass the ring of mushrooms he stood in.

Her expression shifted. Hadn’t she heard a legend about mushrooms before? Magic circles given form through nature as a way to warn mortals?

She swallowed.

“I uh…don’t want to be rude but…I don’t want to?” Her words hung in the air between them, his expression slowly changing as his grin stretched and his hand dropped by his side.

He let out a lighthearted chuckle.

“smart kid, the handshake routine rarely works but it’s <em>always</em> funny when it does.” Frisk felt the tension leave the air and couldn’t help how she instantly relaxed. The skeleton’s whole persona had flipped like a coin at her rejection, he appeared so casual and easy going.

Like he’d just tried to play a joke on an old friend.

She let out a hesitant smile.

“I’m Frisk…nice to meet you.” The monster raised a skeletal brow, his smile remaining on his face as he observed her silently. The time he took to look at her seemed to stretch to the point Frisk squirmed in place and the intensity he’d been directing at her softened.

He let out a snort. “i’m sans. sans the skeleton.”

Frisk and Sans continued to watch each other, the lights in his skeletal sockets brightening curiously as he tilted his skull. She was an odd child to him. He’d never seen a human with eyes the color of sunlight before.

It was such a unique feature.

“never seen a human with yellow eyes before.” He commented.

“Never seen a talking skeleton before.” Frisk responded absently.

Sans snorted as he contemplated her, Frisk taking in the situation with a puzzled glance. He wasn’t advancing, making any kind of move to get closer to her from where he sat cross legged and slouching.

He was at least a good inch from the ring’s edge closest to her and that allowed her to conclude that so long as she didn’t cross into the ring of mushrooms she was safe, from what she still questioned.

No one in the village ever elaborated as to why they warned about the rings. No matter how hard she thought about it she couldn’t recall much in the way of conversation about the whole thing.

Was it Sans?

She supposed he looked intimidating, being a skeleton.

She took a sharp breath as she pulled her knees into her chest. Noticing the way his orbs of light followed the movement.

He certainly was fixated on her though.

“What are you?” Her voice came out slightly raspy.

Her question hung in the air as Sans flickered his gaze up to her eyes, his sockets lidding as his grin stretched.

Frisk couldn’t see the humor behind it.

Something about the way he looked at her was guarded, shaped to give a sense of security and shrewdness like a mask. “i’m a seelie.”

Frisk blinked. “A what?”

Sans’s skull flexed, both of his eyebrows raising at her humorously but his carefully constructed expression remained firmly in place. When he spoke his tone was light, curious.

“you don’t know who the seelie are?” How she shook her head had Sans eyeing her suspiciously. Frisk looked at least sixteen, well past the age that she should’ve been told the legends of his race.

Had humanity fallen that out of touch with them already?

“well,” He started as he looked away briefly before looking back at her with a sneaky grin. “i’m a fairy you could say. a fae.” Frisk raised a brow this time.

“I don’t see any wings on your back, and you’re a bit big. Thought you said you were a skeleton.” Sans’s sockets creased along the bottoms as he responded in a lackadaisical tone.

“i’m a special type, i’m winging it honestly.” Her expression went closed at first before slowly slipping into measured amusement. It didn’t escape his notice that she almost looked afraid of laughing, cautious of offending him.

Smart girl.

“W-was that a pun?” Frisk asked as she tried to cover her mouth. Sans closed both his sockets full of smug brevity. “dunno, did you find it punny?”

Frisk broke into laughter, unable to hold it back and Sans found himself grinning widely.

He liked this human.

“seelies are beings responsible for the magic in your world, the unexplained.” Frisk’s laughter petered out and she looked at him in confusion.

“The unexplained?” Sans lazily gestured around them and all it took was a quick trace of her eyes along the grove for her to understand. Her cheeks turned red as she faced him again.

“Wow, I didn’t know Fae made such beautiful things.” His smile strained, and Frisk tensed at the slight growl in his words. “not all fae do.”

“All?” She questioned.

Sans’s face was dark, and his tone dropped. “we’re not the same as the unseelie, the dark fae…not exactly.”

How did she not know this?

Frisk felt her heart race as she swallowed thickly.

“What do you mean dark Fae?” Sans’s eyelights? shrunk slightly and his tone was carefully schooled as he looked at her neutrally.

He hadn’t meant to venture onto this topic but it was too late now.

“we seelie seek out humans to bring to our realm to help with our queens longevity, to strengthen our magical ties to the veil between our realms by unlocking the latent magic of your souls.” Frisk’s eyes widened.

“You turn us into Seelie?” Sans’s eyelights pulsed with something akin to humor.

“do you know what mages are?” She nodded her head and Sans was relieved he didn’t have to explain that to her. Why he was doing this in the first place he didn’t question.

“well that’s what you become. in turn for gaining magical abilities the cost is the world from which you come and your mortal lifespans. our world enables you to live as long as a seelie, and that gives the queen more life herself due to the increase in the potent magic. we have a fair give and take.”

Sans decided not to mention the cloisters.

“the unseelie…like to consume souls and steal bodies.”

Frisk felt her skin go clammy.That was something she hadn’t been aware of, something that could happen and no one would be the wiser. It terrified her, but she wanted to know. It didn’t escape her how Sans’s tone lowered though, became almost gentle.

“unseelie at their best just like some fun usually at the expense of others, however that’s rare. they believe that by increasing their own magic themselves they can support the balance of our worlds on their own merits. instead of drawing magic from it’s natural place they make it to where they can unnaturally produce and draw it from themselves. consuming a human soul makes that possible.”

They consumed human souls?

“How?” Sans’s expression didn’t shift but his eyelights dimmed as he took in her reaction.

“your spirit and wills are strong enough to rival our magic when on equal footing. fusing the two together, a human soul with a monster makes…a freak of nature.” Sans’s smile went tired.

“our method, giving humans our magic is more of an evolution for your species not a senseless genocide where one has to sacrifice for the other. plus ours can be…reversed. if ever a mage were to leave our realm for too long their ties to magic would fade, and gradually they’d begin to age again.”

Frisk was silent and Sans wondered if she would be able to take everything he’d told her. It was a lot to tell a child, and it was more than possible that she was now scared of him.

But all Frisk did was smile at him.

“I’m glad you’re a seelie.” Sans, confused, lowered his mask back into place. If she were an adult, an educated one, he doubted she’d be saying that. But still he had to know what her reasoning was.

It was unexpected, even unnerving, how relieved she sounded.

“why do you say that?”

“Because I wouldn’t want to be scared of my new friend.”

Sans was speechless.

He’d explained the nature of his race and it’s counterpart, told her how his basically kidnaps and steals away their mortal rights, and yet she was still saying something so pure and honest that it hit him right where his soul rested.

She didn’t even know him.

They had just met.

But Frisk so quickly trusted him. Considered him a friend, even when that was a dangerous decision she perhaps shouldn’t make.

Seelie and Unseelie were different yes, but it was still a fine line between them that could blur. One easily crossed often on accident.

It made him wonder if she considered them friends so quickly from ignorance, though she looked old enough to know better,...or loneliness.

Was that what had lured her to his grove?

Her honey colored eyes were glowing as she looked at him, and he couldn’t help how his soul thrummed under its gaze. However his eyelights quickly locked on an ugly purple mark on her arm the moment she shifted in place.

His sockets widened.

It was then that Sans realized it was loneliness, that this little girl had never been loved before.

And that woke, unsettled, something in him.

“...i’m glad you’re not scared of me either frisk.” How radiant her joyful laugh lit up her face and echoed around the clearing left him mute.

The surrounding light dimmed and faint darkness fell like a blanket over them and he peered up to see the budding horizon of the night sky fading in through the groves canopy.

Sans looked back to Frisk who had followed his gaze and he was speaking before he could think about it too hard.

“it’s late, you should get home. don’t want to get lost do you?” The slight wince on her face nearly made him inwardly frown but he remained outwardly expressionless.

“I don’t really want to.” He forced a smirk.

“sorry kid, but a growing human needs rest.” He held his hand out from where he sat. “going to say goodbye?”

Frisk looked ready to reach forward, automatic politeness guiding her but pulled back at the last second, her eyes narrowing and nose wiggling in a look of incredulousness. “Hey!”

Sans chuckled and gave a lazy shrug.

“seelie i did there did you?” Frisk let out a scoff as she stood and wiped the grass from her clothes. Shyly she looked up at him and Sans cocked another brow inquisitively.

“Can I come visit again?” He didn’t know how to respond so he said, “sure kid.”

His eyelights didn’t leave her until she vanished back through the concealment barrier to the grove, his mind wondering just what he’d gotten himself into, and his thoughts drawn to the golden eyed girl with fascination.

Oh well, maybe she wouldn’t come back after she let what he’d told her register.

Sans was proven wrong the moment he felt a disturbance in his magic the next day.

“hey kid. back so soon?” he held his hand out habitually and her deadpan nearly had him chuckling.

“So I passed my classes.” He tilted his skull as his hand lowered back into the confines of his cloak.

“that’s good, which ones?” It shocked him how easily he fell into the conversation. Such a mundane topic when compared to his Seelie knowledge but engaging in how Frisk so eagerly spoke about her rather boring day.

She looked so happy to have someone listening.

It made his soul shiver unpleasantly, in a way he wasn’t familiar with and caused his skeletal brows to furrow. He pushed it down and focused instead on how Frisk’s hands moved so quickly in her excitement, the small limbs emphasizing her words.

“Math and English are my favorite subjects.” Frisk exclaimed with a toothy smile as her hands wrung.

“english huh? my brother likes that subject.” Right away he saw the silent question in her eyes and Frisk perked up as he started to go on a long and drawn out spiel.

He looked so animated and expressive as he playfully joked and told her embarrassing stories.

She’d always wanted a sibling.

And she wondered what that would’ve been like.

“Wow Papyrus sounds like so much fun.” Frisk’s voice came out hushed.

Sans’s sockets crinkled with genuine happiness through his mask, and his voice was brimming with affection that it made Frisk blush.

“ya, he’s the coolest.” She smiled at the clear love in the skeleton fae’s sockets but then she noticed the moment his eyelights brightened, his smile turning mischievous.

“you could meet him y’know.” Her chest warmed at the prospect.

“I could?” Sans closed one socket and held his hand out.

It made Frisk deadpan. “Let me guess I’d only have to take your hand?”

He closed both sockets and didn’t reply. His smug silence was answer enough.

Frisk tried not to let her disappointment show, instead she blew out her cheeks and rested her chin on her knees in a pout, earning a silent snicker from the skeleton.

The kid was cute.

Her visits became a daily thing, three days turned into a week, a week into four, and soon Sans started coming to the gate ahead of her. Waiting patiently but not long until her brunette hair peaked from the path with excited strides.

Sans didn’t know why he kept interacting with her just as Frisk didn’t know why the grove called to her each morning like a siren song.

And each time he’d offer a hand, each time she’d turn him down.

Frisk’s eyes though never failed to glow with her joy at his presence and his eyelights always expanded happily in his sockets.

It was as if he gave her the moon each time he showed up to greet her. And he felt his soul start to give a pitiful flutter of platonic affection each time she went right into telling him how her day went.

There were times however where Frisk wouldn’t begin talking right away and Sans, deeply perturbed, a tiny spark of rage boiling in his chest he didn’t want to look too hard at, would grant them both mercy and talk to her about his realm and the magic there.

Entertain her with fanciful tales and stories.

A lot he made up, but Frisk always stared at him with admiration nonetheless, latched onto the tales like a plant craving the smallest drop of water. She loved how he took her awe in stride, made his stories more exaggerated or wild just to see what he could get away with.

But as with all beings who started to care for each other…

The questions came.

“hey frisk?” He tried.

“Yes?”

“where did you get that mark today?”

She didn’t answer him, only pulled her sleeve or pant leg a little lower to hide whichever one he could be referring to. And she, scared that if he knew how bad she often was to deserve such things, worried that he’d abandon her, and so changed the subject to a question he’d often answered before about magic.

He grudgingly let her, silently wondered when she’d break.

And one night it happened.

Frisk had never gone to the grove at night before, she’d never had a reason to.

But that night had been…bad.

She usually sought out Sans’s company after such episodes, a few jokes and his usual attempts to lure her away to his world somehow always made her feel better, but tonight she just wanted to be alone.

But not.

Honestly she didn’t know if Seelie needed sleep but if they did she was willing to at least be in the same place as where her friend always met her. Frisk knew the grove wasn’t his actual home, but to her it’s all she knew him to have.

And that was enough.

It wasn’t a surprise when she found the ring of mushrooms he usually occupied empty. A group of fireflies tracing along the back of it and into the far off trees.

The sight of it though relaxed her and she fell into her habitual spot with a muted crunching of grass. Her honey colored eyes locking onto the Seelie gate with fondness.

She was a bit let down even though she’d known better.

Frisk let out a dejected sigh and slowly fell sideways, her knees pulling up to her chest as she let out a shiver in the slightly chilled air. It was a cool night, fall wasn’t that far off.

Would Sans still be able to visit once winter hit?

His explanation on the summer and winter courts hadn’t really informed her of that.

Her eyes had started to drift closed in her musings.

“frisk?”

She jolted awake and sat up, her eyes automatically honing in on the ring before frowning.

It was still empty.

She blinked the tiredness from her eyes, when had she fallen asleep? And carefully looked around before pulling up short in surprise.

Sans was a few feet from her, looking at her curiously.

He was outside the circle?

“Sans?” In disbelief she pushed to her feet and froze.

He was tiny, came up to about the top of her hip.

Her brows furrowed.

Frisk was certain he was taller than this, he gave the impression that he was a good five foot at least. Though she’d never seen him standing before the way he typically sat gave her the impression.

His skull tilted in question. “what are you doing out so late?”

“Why are you small?” She couldn’t help asking. Sans let out a snort.

“i’m in your realm, not enough active magic here for me to be at full height.” Oddly she understood what he meant by that. Then it occurred to her…could Sans take her now that he wasn’t bound by the gate?

Was that a bad thing?

The impulsive thought scared her.

She took a cautious step back, tried to be subtle so as not to be rude but Sans caught it. His eyelights snapped to her feet before going back up to her face.

It was so weird to see him craning his vertebra to look up at her but strangely adorable.

“easy kiddo, i can’t take you anywhere right now. it’s only possible during the day, and i can’t just pick you up and go.” His smile was patient and reassuring.

“Why not?” Sans’s smile only turned even friendlier as he heard the uncertainty in her tone.

“remember the veil i mentioned? it’s like a magic curtain between our worlds. during the day it’s weakest on this side of it; meaning no seelie from the seelie realm can roam or exit through the gates but yet others can enter from this side. at night, it’s reversed. you as a human can’t pass through but any other seelie can leave if they choose.” Sans looked thoughtful for a moment before shrugging.

“as for why i can’t just pick you up and go, even if the sun were to rise well…that’s one of the rules of intent with magic. if you were to unwillingly pass through, my realm wouldn’t be able to…lock….you into place there. unless you consumed our food or something.” As a side thought he held his arms out and shrugged. “plus obvious height differences heh.”

Frisk looked confused as she ruminated on his words.

Sans was slightly worried she wouldn’t understand, but there wasn’t a simpler way to explain it without having an inherent touch with magic.

Still she surprised him as she so often did.

“Magic needs an anchor basically?” His socket’s widened and crinkled at the corners. He looked so proud Frisk couldn’t keep the blush from her face as he nodded. “more or less.”

Then something Sans would call realization flashed in her eyes and his expression went wide with shock as she suddenly bent down and pulled him up into an unexpected hug, her thicker arms wrapping him in a vice that made him let out a strained grunt as a blue blush flared across his skull.

“f-frisk!”

“You’re so cute all tiny Sans!” She gushed as she spun with him on the spot. Sans went to protest, not really one for casual physical contact but went still as a statue as he felt something wet fall onto the crown of his head.

Frisk didn’t give him room to pull back, her soft cheek pressed into the side of his jaw and left socket as something dangerously close to a sniffle vibrated from her chest.

His tone was abnormally soft. “what are you doing out so late kiddo?”

Of course she didn’t answer him but he let her hold him for as long as she needed. When she finally gave him room and let him back down her tears were gone but her eyes were bloodshot, smile as bright as usual and eyes happy.

“Want to see my village?”

He’d seen it countless times already.

“sure.”

Sans and Frisk both grew closer; his nightly roaming visits spent strolling beside her through the quiet of her village, her free hours in the day put towards visiting him within the grove where he was forcibly bound to stay.

They made each other’s lives more interesting, exchanging puns and jokes while steadily learning the cultures and life of the other.

It was something Sans knew wasn’t supposed to happen.

Humans and Seelie weren’t meant to be friends like they had become. But every time he contemplated leaving for good, abandoning her, he found himself unable to. There was something about the honey colored eyed girl that drew him to her.

Only made him more insistent on trying to kidnap her back to his world.

It left a bitter taste in his mouth that she stubbornly never took the delicate step he needed from her. Even on the worst of days when she’d show up exhausted and on the verge of what his kind called falling down.

The day he finally called her out on it, had addressed it directly Frisk had simply responded as if they’d talked about it countless times before.

“you don’t have to put up with that you know. all you have to do is take my hand and you’d never have to worry about them hurting you again.” His soul twisted as she gave him a weak smile.

“You say your brother thinks of you as lazy but you really do work hard at your job.” Sans bit his tongue. Prevented the unspoken words in his head from slipping out and showing a vulnerability he didn’t wish the kid to see as he simultaneously discovered it himself.

you’re not a job to me.

The topic didn’t come back up.

The day came when he had to go on an assignment the queen had given him; it was to take no more than a week, a quick in and out of the Unseelie realm to monitor the dark fae for signs of treasonous activity.

But he worried.

Sans was good at being undetectable, it was going to be an all-around easy task.

Still it didn’t prevent the regret he felt at the withdrawal in Frisk’s eyes, the ache he felt in his chest at the sight of her smile falling into a frown when he told her.

Frisk didn’t want him to go, just the idea of him not being there made her feel hollow.

And he’d honestly thought she’d protest, ask him to stay. But instead she’d merely whispered, “Only a week right?”

He…was proud of her. How in stride she took the news. It was going to be the longest they’d gone without seeing each other since they’d first met but she held her head up and kept her heart hopeful.

His masked smile turned genuine in the way only she so often could make it.

“that’s right, i’ll even come straight here when i’m finished.”

Frisk’s eyes lit up and it made his soul swell.

She could manage seven days, she was sure of it.

All it took was her nod of acceptance before he vanished, the urge to end this task quickly burning in his skull.

Sans managed the job in three days.

A Seelie of his word the first thing he did was return to the grove once he left the Unseelie realm, his intentions to reassure his little human before dropping his report back to the Queen.

When he rose from the gate however the sight that greeted him made his soul freeze in his ribs.

The grove…was wilder, more tangled and unkempt. A blatant passage of time and his absence scarred across it.

And instead of the anticipated human child he’d grown fond of to meet him sat a woman, humming as she twisted some flowers she had gathered beside her into a delicate crown in her callused hands.

Sans’s eyelights nearly went out.

He hadn’t intended on having to deal with a human to collect, in fact it irritated him.

Sans had wanted to see Frisk.

With resolve he took a deep steadying breath and put on his practiced grin. He’d simply capture them and then return quickly before he had the chance to be missed.

“H u m a n,” The female predictably jolted. “don’t you know how to greet a new pal?”

She whipped around and timed slowed as his sockets shot wide, honey colored eyes landing on him and sending an almost crippling pulse of recognition through his magical leylines.

Only one human he’d ever known had that unique distortion.

Sans’s voice was shaky as he spoke.

“…frisk?”

Tears immediately ran down her cheeks as she smiled at him.

He didn’t know what to think or say, all he could do was pan her form, take in old scars he recognized on her knees and wrists. Silently acknowledged that she had matured in ways typical to a young human adult in her prime.

The little girl he knew was gone, and in her place was a kind and startlingly attractive woman.

His soul withered even as it heated up violently in his chest.

“One more day, I can wait one more day I said.” Sans was frozen as she turned to fully face him, pulled her now long and elegant legs up into the familiar bend as she rested her chin atop them just as she had in her youth. “Welcome back Sans, I missed you.”

He felt his magic curl, caused a shiver through his bones as he swallowed and rasped thickly, “how long?”

“Three years.” Sans came to learn a day in the Unseelie realm wasn’t so liner as the human world and his realm were. He couldn’t think of what to say to her. Frisk though only continued to smile and did what she so often did, had only done a few days ago to him, and went on about how her day had gone.

How the last three years of her life had gone.

It made Sans acknowledge a harsh reality, and in his panic he interrupted her.

“come back with me.”

Frisk startled, her eyes wide but mouth closed in a firm line.

They both appraised each other like it was the first time they’d met all over again. Sans taking in how exactly she’d changed, Frisk noticing how he was exactly the same.

He didn’t want to risk losing her, never seeing her again if he was called to serve once more. She didn’t want to miss out on what life could offer her now that she was free from what she’d gone through as a child.

Frisk’s answer was like a blow straight to his soul.

“No.”

Sans kept his gaze unreadable as she explained her reasonings, all perfectly understandable and valid for a mortal he acknowledged bitterly, and for the first time he couldn’t bring himself to stay near the human he’d grown so attached to.

To not feel so unreasonably angry at her rejection.

He left.

Frisk stared in shock at the empty ring, more tears now full of hurt and pain poured out, and she felt so awful at what she’d told him.

But she waited just as she had done before.

And when Sans returned, unable to stay away for long, they’d both continued as if nothing had happened.

His attempts became more ridiculous and endearing the more he tried and failed to lure her back with him as time passed. Frisk found it cute how much he wanted so badly to pull the wool over her eyes, almost hilarious how he worked so hard at it sometimes.

“Are you going to get promoted or something if you ever succeed at this?” She teased.

“nah, better.” Sans winked playfully. “i’ll get to keep you.”

Her cheeks flushed crimson just as his lit up brilliant cyan at the accidental flirt. They purposefully ignored it, not realizing how both their souls had given a firm thrum in tandem.

It wasn’t hard to quietly admit to themselves that they had fallen for each other the more their blushes grew, the more awkward their chuckling became, and how a certain mood lit up the grove each time they met.

But then--their happiness was threatened.

“Sans!”

His soul shook, somehow heard the echo of Frisk’s pained cry and sent a bolt of panic through his ribs as he shortcut to the gate from where he’d been with barely a thought. Just managed to peer into her realm as Frisk came running frantically into the grove, and witnessed her feet, bare and cut, giving out and forcing her to fall but a few feet from him.

He didn’t get time to question what was happening.

Sans’s soul was pounding like a drum in his chest, sweat beading on his forehead as he heard the cries of what was unmistakably an Unseelie making their way to her, the bloodcurdling screeching and demented laughter causing nausea to take hold of him as it passed the grove’s barrier.

Frisk was weak as she tried to push to her feet, her muscles strained beyond exhaustion.

Sans tried to phase outside the ring, struggled to concentrate his magic to break out into her realm but was forcefully refused as he let out a snarl of contempt.

He knew deep down that there would be consequences for their relationship. What decent Unseelie wouldn’t be able to smell the magic of his grove on her being? This had been what he’d feared from the get go other than the imposing laws of his people.

Attachment.

He was more shocked that it had taken this long for the inevitable to happen than the fact it was happening now of all times, with the sun high in the sky and the veil strong and resistant.

Sans could see the Unseelie coming for Frisk, the sick fae having taken her form in a demented play of mental torture. Naturally curled auburn locks turned stringy and greased threads that covered a face born of disgust and hatred. Leaking black socks with crimson eyes and manic grin stretched grotesquely in glee.

His sockets were wide as he fell to his knees.

If he was outside, if it was night he’d be small and limited but he’d still have enough magic to repel the creature. But he wasn’t and it was coming in fast.

Sans couldn’t let it take Frisk, if it did she…there were worse fates than death for humans in the Unseelie realm.

Time turned to an agonizing crawl as he locked his pained gaze on the woman he cared about.

Frisk had said she wanted to die in the human world among her kind.

...Never wanted to give up her mortality...

Sans was at a crossroads.

Down one path was honoring her wishes…but he’d lose her sooner than they both deserved or worse. The other path…was to risk her becoming bitter towards him for the blatant manipulation he’d be forced to use.

The chance she’d never forgive him for taking away her choice on how she wished to live and die.

His sockets flickered up to the blood stained grin of the corrupted fae, it’s eyes full of malicious intent and all he could think about was how she wouldn’t have a life at all if he didn’t act.

Sans made a choice as he offered out his hand to her.

Frisk glanced up and he could see the realization in her eyes as she reached the same conclusions he had a moment before only there was a silent debate in her golden depths, a struggling to find another way.

And that was what killed him the most.

Down to his bones Sans was a Seelie, full of the potential for corruption and cruel disregard that their dark counter parts thrived in. Sans was willing to use whatever method it took to convince Frisk to give into his selfishness, to alleviate his own fear without thought to any alternatives.

And that part of him burned with a smoldering fury as he embraced the anguish he’d have to cause her.

“frisk take my hand! please!”

He watched her hesitate, witnessed the Unseelie draw closer, and finally said the one thing he knew would break her, the image of her for barely a second overlapped by the young girl he’d met almost a lifetime ago that had opened his soul to emotions and concepts outside of what his race had taught him.

The little girl that had once so foolishly and easily trusted him.

“i love you…”

It came out barely a whisper so low it shouldn’t even have been heard under the thundering steps and screeching of the beast encroaching. But the sheer amount of honest emotion behind it and the way his face crumbled was enough for Frisk to catch it, feel the declaration innately down to her core.

The kind and ultimately selfless woman he knew her to be overrode the selfish side of her that wanted more than anything to live a normal life, one that had been so cruelly denied her by the ones that should have loved and cherished her above everything.

The way Sans had when she’d been nothing but alone and neglected.

He watched as the love he knew she had for him won out and without a thought her hand slid into his. Victorious and thrilled, desperate and terrified Sans managed to pull her in just as the Unseelie lunged for her and missed.

Sans cradled Frisk close to him as she passed out, his eyelight flaring threateningly as the Unseelie froze before the gate with a look so condemning and enraged he couldn’t help but to chuckle darkly at it.

“sup buddy? something slip through your fingers?” The Unseelie roared but Sans was gone before it could finish.

Sans was dutiful and patient as he brushed the hair from Frisk’s forehead, her shut eyes fluttering as she subconsciously leaned into his touch.

Her hair was softer than he’d imagined, finer. And the way her skin felt beneath his phalanges nearly made a rumble form in his chest. He didn’t want to stop touching her, it was almost unreal that she was here with him now.

In his home, his bed.

With a sigh he brought the cup of water to her lips and lifted her head slightly as he fed it to her.

It made a confusing mixture of smugness and sorrow coil in his proverbial gut to watch her drink it. To know he was essentially taking another decision from her by offering her Seelie nourishment as she slept.

The only loophole that allowed humans to leave sealed to her.

But she needed the energy to recover and he allowed the weak reasoning to act as a foundation to his justification.

Frisk looked so dehydrated and tired.

How long had that Unseelie chased her before she made it to him?

“Brother.” Papyrus’s quiet tone drew his attention and right away he knew something was up with how his younger brother’s sockets creased along the bottoms, a hesitance that wasn’t normal resting in them. “Undyne’s here.”

Sans looked down at Frisk a moment before pushing to his feet. “i’ll be back bro.”

“She’s a human Sans! You can’t just keep her!” Undyne shouted incredulously. “She belongs in the cloister with the others! A free roaming mage could be dangerous!”

Sans ignored her as he looked to their Queen, the King beside her scowling disapprovingly. Undyne had a point but that didn’t mean Sans had to acknowledge it. It was nothing but a possibility, a what if, and he knew Frisk.

She wasn’t like that. Maybe once he would’ve agreed but not now.

Toriel’s ethereal moon speckled eyes locked with his midnight dark sockets.

He was not going to let Frisk be squirreled away to an isolated place of stone and cold shouldered mages.

Forced to repeat her trauma in an entirely new light.

This fiercely determined woman who had remained kind and trusting despite her circumstances, who he’d just stolen everything from deserved so much more than that.

His soul wouldn’t allow it.

“every seelie is granted the right to a condition free wish from birth.” The silence was long before their queen spoke, the stares of all other Seelie present in the court boring into his spine with resentment and confusion.

“Are you sure Sans? A Seelie may only request this once.”

Sans didn’t answer, he didn’t have to.

Toriel simply nodded.

“Very well then, the human known as Frisk is yours. Just remember, she is still bound to the same rules as the others, she can never leave and any fallout from this wish is yours to bear alone.”

Sans had never felt so satisfied as he did shooting a smug glance to the passing guard before shortcuting.

The satisfaction didn’t last long.

He hadn’t expected Frisk to be awake when he got back.

Frisk was so happy she’d finally met Papyrus, he was everything Sans had ever told her and more. His smile did light up a room, made you want to cheer up even when you felt like the world was on your back.

But she wasn’t so thrilled to see where she was, numbly accepted Papyrus’s reassurances and allowed him to seat her and place a plate of food in front of her.

Frisk didn’t want to be rude but...

Sans watched Frisk hesitate, her hands shaking nervously. It made him feel low, so low because he knew what she was thinking about, what she was trying to do.

“frisk.” She looked up shyly and stilled as she took in Sans’s downcast glaze, the look was enough to fill her growing dread with dark confirmation.

The guilt radiated off of him and she felt her throat go dry as his normally deep baritone came out even deeper.

“i had to feed you…while you were unconscious.”

She didn’t respond and it was enough to make Sans look up to see her golden eyes focused on the spaghetti in front of her. Papyrus even looked sad as he ate but he didn’t say anything. Tried to offer them a meek privacy as he downed a glass of milk.

Slowly and numbly Frisk picked up her fork, and the resignation in her expression as she twirled the noodles and slipped them into her mouth killed Sans a little inside. He couldn’t bring himself to look anywhere but his plate.

A faint touch made him tremble.

His eyelights snapped up and looked over to see her free hand gripping his across the table. He glanced at her cautiously but she kept her vision steadily locked on the food.

Frisk gave his hand a soft but firm squeeze.

His soul wanted to break as he returned it and hesitantly laced his fingers with hers.

A blush just as vibrant as the first one she’d ever given him broke across her face and that was enough to reassure him. Sans had begun to eat again when Frisk finally spared him a glance. Her smile weak but there.

Frisk’s love for him hadn’t changed.

And Frisk...

She supposed…at least she had him and that was enough.

It was later, a few nights after she’d been told everything that Sans found her sitting on the front steps of their home. The glow from the red moon turning her golden eyes rosy as she stared up at it with a hard to gauge expression.

He hadn’t taken but a few steps when she spoke up, her words halting him and coming out shy.

“Did you mean it?”

Sans narrowed his sockets and looked down at his feet. “yeah.”

Frisk didn’t say anything so Sans took the initiative and walked forward to sit next to her, his cloak falling and engulfing his form as he looked up at the moon next to her. He felt a pit of anxiety in his ribs, a sorrow at how everything had gone down for her to end up here but not an ounce of regret.

He jolted but quickly stilled at the feeling of Frisk leaning against him.

She felt melancholic. A bit disappointed but still she let out a weak chuckle.

“You couldn’t have said you loved me before I almost ended up kidnapped?” Despite himself Sans smiled.

“nah, that would’ve been what normal people do.” Frisk tilted her head over to him curiously.

“I’m not normal?” She sounded so vulnerable and fragile that Sans sucked in a harsh breath. Gently he raised a hand and ran his phalanges through her hair, the feeling so much more satisfying than it’d been when he was small in her world and did it the first time.

“you’re special frisk. at least to me, i wouldn’t trade you for anything.” Frisk looked down and closed her eyes, enjoyed the soothing petting of her head as she let out a thoughtful hum. Slowly she pulled back and stared at him in a way that left Sans’s soul beating furiously into his bones.

“Kiss me?”

His sockets went wide, his eyelights swelling in size that they nearly took up the dark voids they rested in. He swallowed around nothing and cupped her face, his hands exceedingly gentle as he smiled with all the affection he had for her.

“i love you.” He repeated, this time long and low with his passion. Frisk’s cheeks turned scarlet and her pale lips curved into a heartfelt smile as her hands came up to cover his.

“I love you too.” Slowly Sans leaned in, gave her time to pull back if she wanted and hesitated only a moment more before pressing his mouth to hers, The bony ridges that lined his teeth folding down like lips to lock with her soft and supple ones.

Frisk’s eyes slid closed as a burst of heat shot down to her toes and suddenly she yelped into the kiss as gravity left her. Still holding contact her eyes widened as she glanced down to see they were floating, a beguiling bright glow coming from beneath Sans’s cloak that fluttered around them from the night air.

Sans chuckled from the surprise he felt rolling off of her and pulled her more securely against him before letting the kiss break, his forehead touching hers as his bright eyelights hazed and wobbled precariously.

“sorry, could say you really swept me off my feet.” Frisk snorted with a playful roll of her eyes.

“An eternity of puns, oh no, whatever will I do?” He pressed his teeth in a chaste kiss to her forehead.

“just go with the float.” Frisk chuckled and the both of them looked up at the moon. Perfect contentment and healing already settling in their souls as they held each other.

#fransweek #2020 #day 6 #themes #prompts #adult frans #frans #sans x frisk #fluff #angst #undertale #Alternative Universe #tw abuse #My writing #faerytale-au #faerytale

220 notes · View notes

cellard0ors · 5 years

Text

Fic: the beginning is the end is the beginning

Rating: Mature

Fandom: Buzzfeed Unsolved, Godzilla: King of the Monsters

Pairing: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej

Warning: Apocalyptic!End!Of!The!World stuff, mentions of dead people, mass suicides

Summary: The Titans have returned. The world has ended. The Ghoul Boys are still here.

Notes: HO-KAY. This is dedicated to @theawfuledges, who has always been super sweet, super supportive, and who had a bad day a while back and deserved something then but I. Take. FOREVER.

Inspired by this sorta-not-really-prompt-post and also the fact that @theawfuledges seems to also enjoy Godzilla. This is the Shyan!Godzilla!AU NO one asked for and probably NO one will care about - but! I had fun writing it enough that I’d consider coming back to it at some point - I mean, why not, amiright?

Anyway - excuse all my philosophizing about the end of the world via Titans and enjoy…

AO3 Link

They’ve been walking through the wasteland for almost an hour now and Shane can still feel Ryan’s eyes on his back. He ignores it, as he’s been ignoring it. He’s even whistled a tuneless song on and off during their walk, just to rub it in. A sort of reminder that he’s oblivious and doesn’t know Ryan’s trying to burn a hole through him. I mean, he does know, but it’s just…it’s too funny.

Ryan is always too funny when’s worked up into a snit. No, not funny…cute. Something Shane probably shouldn’t think about, but think he does. The best way to try to not think about it? Antagonize the little guy. So antagonize he does, finally stopping in their rambles to squat down at a larger than usual rock he’s kicked at.

It didn’t make him stumble exactly, but it caught his attention enough to make him stop and bend down. He tosses the smooth white stone around in one palm, grinning, “Well, well, well…ain’t you a nifty lookin’ fella…”

He stands back up, fully aware that Ryan has stopped a few feet behind him and is still glaring. Hell, he’s probably reached seething at this point. Balled up fists shaking at his sides and the mere idea of that imagery – the utter adorableness of it – breaks Shane’s resolve, “What?”

“Really?!” Ryan finally explodes and his voice cracks over the word and Jesus, the guy is too goddamn precious for words, “A rock?! That’s what catches your attention?!”

“Sure! This baby could be a geode! Just need to crack ‘er open and see if she sparkles!” Shane returns as he waggles the stone in Ryan’s direction, lips curled in a devious smile. He finally turns to look behind him and see Ryan and oh, no.

Shane wants to press a hand to his heart. Ryan has moved beyond cute, beyond adorable, beyond precious. He’s reached that level where it takes all of Shane’s willpower not to dart right over and kiss the breath out of him as Ryan cries, “I’ve been shooting death daggers at you for over an hour now!”

“Have you?”

“Yes, you monumental jackass! And I know you know it!”

Shane can only chuckle and Ryan frantically waves his arms about, “It’s been weeks now and we still have yet to talk about it! We just go out for recons, talk banal shit, and you – you stop for a fucking pebble instead of doing what you should do!”

Shane merely raises his eyebrows, that question enough and Ryan comes closer, breath all huffy and puffy and the perfect representation of a temper tantrum in human form, “Which is give me the world’s biggest fucking apology!”

“…for?”

“FOR?!” Another word cracked by hysteria, “Being right! Monsters exist! Or is this-” Ryan yet again waves about, waves around at the miles and miles of baked, orange earth and uprooted, long dead trees. The rubble of buildings long since lost, the endless expanse of nothing but baseless destruction – “-not proof enough for you?!”

Shane just dips the rock in Ryan’s direction like it’s the tip of a pointer, “Never said monsters weren’t real. I said ghosts weren’t,” he draws the rock back and continues walking, voice very sage, “And that continues to be a fact." He turns away and starts walking again, "Now the Titans? Oh man, those boys are flesh and blood. Meat and bone. Just like Bigfoot and hey, do you think-?”

“…stop it…”

Shane turns to look at him again even as he continues walking backwards, “-Bigfoot is a Titan?”

Ryan only stops to pinch the bridge of his nose. His earlier anger has finally spooled out of him thanks to his outburst, leaving only his normal Shane-oriented exhaustion, “I mean, he’s no Godzilla or Gidroah-”

“Ghidorah.”

“Hmm?”

Ryan’s tone is bone weary, “You said it wrong. It’s Ghidorah.”

Shane just waves a hand like it’s no big deal and Ryan stands up a little taller, clearly offended by the gesture. Perfectionist. Shane is pretty sure his smile is never going to leave, “Whatever. But Bigfoot…he can hang with the big boys, right?”

“I don’t think Bigfoot is capable of leveling Los Angeles which, news flash, is what happened when Godzilla and the other Titans trampled through!”

“It was their world first, pal,” is his amicable response, “We just have to do our best to live with it.”

Ryan looks less than pleased at that revelation and Shane can’t blame him. Still…

Finally Shane sobers, stopping to look at Ryan with all due seriousness, “Ryan…”

He doesn’t say any more. He doesn’t have to. Ryan just gives his own subdued head bob because, well, it’s the truth. They do have to do their best to live with it. What else can they do? They have no power over creatures taller than skyscrapers. Ancient beasts on par with living gods. The human race did what it could. It wasn’t enough. But – to be fair – what could they do?

Humanity always likes to think of itself as the top tier – nothing bigger, nothing brighter, nothing stronger. And within the span of a few weeks that was proven horribly untrue. Frankly, Shane always knew it would be – humility is something every living being should possess and a lot of humanity lost that long ago – but frankly, he’d been banking on aliens.

Not big ol’ monsters.

Regardless, they are where they are. In a world where massive creatures walk the earth and humans have been knocked down several pegs. Pegs that have to scurry out shelter and he and Ryan found it. They reach it now – an underground bunker dug deep into the earth by god knows who.

The first time they’d found the little hide-ho they’d intended to merely use it for one night, sure that the original owners would appear. But they didn’t. Night after night passed and no one came to claim the bunker – so Shane decided they should claim it for themselves. Hell, they took a bridge from a Goatman and made it their own – why not a bunker?

Hence why it’s colorful name – ‘The Goatman’s Bunker’. He’d even made a sign to that effect once they’d managed to scrounge up some paper and workable pens. Funny the things you find littered amongst the refuse. Like his cool new rock – which he now sets alongside other treasures he’s found in their travels. A kid’s beat up plastic car, a broken snow globe, a crushed cup advertising Disneyland (long since gone – a collectible now!), and other debris he found of interest.

Ryan takes off his backpack and reaches inside, digging out various goodies they scavenged today. Dented bottles of water (always a god send), band-aids, several tin cans of vegetables and meats, scraped bottles with unreadable labels and anything else he could shove in.

They’re both pretty sure they’d come across the ruins of some pharmacy today – maybe a CVS or Walgreens or something – but neither could be certain. But there had certainly been a nicer haul than usual. Some days they walked out into the wasteland and found nothing for miles but old car parts and the occasionally, questionable collection of garbage.

Sometimes…sometimes they found worse things…

Both of them tried their best not to think of those things. Awful, sad things. Dead things. Crushed things. They had a radio in the bunker and there was the occasional chatter, but mostly? Mostly the world was silent. Funny how quickly a world, its people, its governments – could fall apart in the face of something it couldn’t understand.

There was word of massive suicide sites. Places where religious fanatics scrambled, unable to comprehend a world in which something their God couldn’t have possibly made appeared. There was word of places where ground born militias formed. People bloodthirsty for revenge, willing to do whatever they have to, to fight back, to rage against the sky – against forces beyond their control. There has been a lot of different word…but nothing that really concerns the two of them.

At least not for now.

For now?

For now the Ghoul Boys have their Goatman’s Bunker and a questionable collection of cans that will provide tonight’s sustenance.

What Shane wouldn’t give for a can opener. He’s gotten pretty good at stabbing cans open with the knife he has, but sometimes tiny metal shavings still end up in their meals. Tonight is no exception. He stabs away at a few cans, digs out what he can on to broken plates they’d found. Broken, a little chipped – but surprisingly in pretty good condition.

The food, however, is mush. Shane scoops up a bit with his fingers and licks at it, wincing as the taste, “Think this is chickpeas…or maybe hominy…”

“Those two things are very different.”

“Oh, sorry Paul Prudhomme – what’s your expansive palate telling you?”

Ryan’s nose wrinkles even as he takes his own bite, “Um…peaches?”

“Pe-?” Shane can’t even finish, laughing, because this sure as shit isn’t peaches. As is his way, Ryan looks charmingly flummoxed, “I taste something sweet, you dipshit!”

“Well, you did just stick your fingers in your mouth, didn’t you?” Shane teases and he knows it’s on the edge of a flirt and dammit, bad idea, Shane, bad idea…

Again – as is his way – Ryan ignores it. Shane releases the breath he isn’t even aware he’s holding. Good. Ryan shouldn’t respond. Good. And yet…

Shane takes another bite of his ‘dinner’ and it’s as questionable as the last. Maybe even more so, given their last interaction. This is not the time. This is SO not the time. The world’s ended. Or, well, the world as they knew it. Now is not the time to put the moves on Ryan. It wasn’t before. It isn’t now. When will it ever-?

Never, his thoughts whisper, and Shane feels his face fall, feels an uncharacteristic moroseness take him. He polishes off what last few bites he can manage, even though he’s not hungry, and then he rubs his hands clean on the material of his dirty jeans. Not the most hygienic, true – but they can’t waste water.

He can always find some stream tomorrow – do a better job then. Say what you will about the Titans, but their returns had brought some worth while things. California was flusher with fresh streams than ever before. Glowing green plant life – plant life that, before – would have scorched – now flourishes here. It’s as if the arrival of these creatures changed the very exosphere.

He wonders how global warming looks now. Have they caused a monumental shift in it? Probably. If anything has the power to, they probably do. Fuck, they can probably grow back icebergs or something. Create new fossil fuels. God – or heh, Godzilla – knows what. Once feeling his hands are sufficiently clean, he sighs and looks over at Ryan who has started in on again on his torn, dog-eared novel.

“Thinking I’m going to hit the hay.”

Ryan blinks, “Already?”

He just shrugs, “Long day.”

“Yeah,” Ryan admits softly and Shane goes over to his sleeping bag. It’s funny, but in as much as things changed, some have stayed the same. Sleeping together in a dirty, gross shit holes? Just like old times. Except no one’s filming with plans to upload it to the internet later.

The internet. Man. Talk about something to miss. The whole world at your fingertips. Although, in a way, they now have that albeit in a much more literal sense. Shane snuggles deep into his bag and falls to sleep far quicker than he thought he would.

Ryan, for his part, continues to idly pick through his uncovered novel. It’s a pretty decent tale. Romance. Big shocker. The world is over and all he can find in the remains are old bodice rippers. But a book is a book – entertainment is pretty goddamn scarce these days. He’ll take what he can get. True, he wants to click on the radio – see if there’s any good word, any good news – but he doesn’t want to disturb Shane.

…even if the bastard won’t admit he’s wrong. And yeah, the Titans aren’t ghosts. But they are real. So, if they’re real – it’s not much of a stretch to think the same thing of ghosts.

…probably a lot more ghosts now…what with all the…

Ryan can’t even coherently string it all together. All the lives lost. Too many to even begin to contemplate. A planetwide event, a tragedy beyond bearing. And here the two of them are. Holed up in their little bunker, trying to live the best lives they can. Ryan’s a few more pages in when he hears that familiar hum.

His mouth twitches, unable to resist the smile forming.

Ha-hum. Ha-hum. Ha-Hum.

The sound Shane makes while he sleeps. The soft hum of his breathing. Ryan can’t even count how many times he’s fallen asleep to that sound. Clung to it when they were shooting in creepy locations. He never slept well in supposedly haunted locations…but he always slept a little better when they shared space. When he hears those sounds.

Ha-hum. Ha-hum. Ha-Hum.

Like the bastard laughs in his sleep. Although, the sound isn’t quite like a laugh. It just…it has that same warm sound, that rewarding quality his laughter carries. Affable, irresistible, rich and…Ryan looks down at the words on the pages of the book before him, feels his cheeks heat. He’s been reading far too much of this mushy shit. It’s messing with his thoughts. He closes the book and contemplates his options.

Sleep is probably the best among them. He looks to Shane again. Long limbs all akimbo – awkward. He fits within his cocoon and yet not. Ridiculous – those stork legs, those string bean arms…

…how would those arms feel wrapped around-?

Ryan literally tosses his book aside. All your fault, he thinks at it, even as he stands up rolls his shoulders. Okay. Calm on. Relax. Don’t be stupid. Just go to sleep.

He climbs into his own bag, which isn’t far from Shane’s. He dampens their lanterns and it’s dark, cool, quiet. He’s almost asleep when he hears it. A deep, hefty rumble. Like thunder, but worse. Far worse. Worse because no storm has this feeling behind it. This pure, volatile energy.

He sits up, his breath catching. It’s far off in the distance, but it doesn’t matter. He knows what it is. It’s one of them. His heart leaps into his throat and fear throttles him so roughly that at first he can’t move – eyes watering as the sound grows in strength.

…boom…boom…Boom…BOOM!

The last makes the ground shake and he hates the goddamn squeak that leaves him as he physical jolts. Shane (sonofabitch!) is still asleep and Jesus Christ, does this fucker sleep through everything?! Ryan rolls his bag hard to one side, closer to Shane, knocking him with enough force that Shane wakes, voice groggy with sleep, “…izzat?”

“They’re coming! They’re coming!” Ryan wishes he didn’t sound so whiny and high pitched and frantic. For fuck’s sake – he’s a grown man! But the sound of those…footsteps…

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

The ground beneath them shakes violently. Ryan’s experienced earthquakes before (California born and raised) but this is beyond that. This is as if the planet itself is coming apart. Shane sits up, even as Ryan shushes at him, tugs at him – as if somehow Shane’s sitting up, underground, in the dark, can signal the Titans above them.

Shane tilts his head this way and that – clearly doing his best to listen. To pinpoint. And then he slowly turns back to Ryan, “Hey, hey…shush, shush…they’re moving away…”

Ryan’s eyes hurt from being open so wide. Ryan’s chest hurts because his heart is beating so fast. Ryan’s…hurt. He hurts and hurts and suddenly he’s in Shane’s arms. Shane is cuddling him close, “Ry? Ryan, buddy, come on…come on! Calm down, calm down. Breathe…”

…he can’t…Ryan can’t…

“You can,” Shane intones firmly and Ryan realizes he’s said something to that effect aloud, “Ryan, breathe.”

Ryan drags in one loud, long shuddering breath. Then another. Then another. His mind briefly flickers over all he’s lost. All they’ve lost. All the friends, all the family, all the people…the world…

His wide eyes fill. Blink. Shed some tears, there and gone, and he’s still breathing. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. He curls forward some, relaxes, and he’s in Shane’s arms and they’re not quite as string bean as he thought. They have strength and weight and long fingers are stroking through his sweat damp, dark hair. Soothing it back from his forehead.

Ryan lets out a jittery wheeze, “Sorry…must think I’m a dumb ass.”

“No.”

“Shane…”

“Ryan, you’re not a dumb ass because you’re afraid.”

“You’re not.”

“Shows what you know.”

“Shane…”

“Ryan,” Now it’s Shane’s turn to sound bone weary, “We played up that shit for the show. You know that. Being scared of heroin needles and avocado pits and…and you know,” he says it so firmly, with such deep assurance that – even in the darkness of the bunker – Ryan knows he’s looking directly into his eyes, “You know I’m just as human as everybody else. That I get afraid. That I am afraid.”

“Yeah?” Ryan asks and he can’t see the nod, but he knows he gets it. And Shane’s right. Of course he’s right. Ryan knows he’s right. Shane’s not any more of a dumb ass than he is. They have every right to be afraid. Everyone in the world currently is. It’s all changing. It’s all becoming new. So new that to-to be afraid of other things? Silly things? Well, that would be what would make him a dumb ass, right?

And it’s this thought that leads Ryan to ask, “Can I kiss you?”

Two little balls of heat form right on the apples of his cheeks, lighting zipping up and down his spine because – holy shit – did he just say that out loud? And he can’t really see Shane in the cool darkness of the bunker. Their lanterns are out, but he can feel him. Sense him. He’s…close.

And then Shane answers.

“I don’t know…can you?”

It takes Ryan a moment to digest this response. And when he does? He fishes out his flat pillow and hopes it hits hard as he smacks right across Shane’s face, “Fuck you! You-!”

The curse is said without any real heat, but it can’t be helped, because, well – goddammit! So Ryan plans to keep on pummeling Shane until he somehow dies from pillow pummeling only for Shane to stop him. He manages to catch his pillow and stall his movements as he grunts out, “No! Hey! S-sorry, look-! I just-! I just couldn’t help myself, y’know?”

“Oh, do I?!”

“Yeah, man I mean – it was right there!” Shane damn near pleads with him, clearly feeling the opportunity was too good to pass up, “Besides, it was…it was too damned much. You asking like that…all hat in hand…”

Ryan’s struggles with the pillow cease as Shane comes…closer. He can feel him closer. The heat of him, the rush of air on his lips in the dark as Shane talks that his breathe caresses Ryan’s mouth, “But you can, Ryan.”

The last is said with such intensity that Ryan’s whole body shakes harder than when the Titans walked near them. His heart booms louder than their steps. He feels Shane hovering so close, “…I’ve wanted you to.”

A thick, noisy swallow and a very cracking, very insecure, “Yeah?”

“Mmm. Been waiting for you to.”

“R-really?”

A soft scoff, “No, actually – never thought you were interested. Never thought I’d be so lucky. But goddamn Ryan, if you are? You can kiss me and then some.”

That’s all the incentive Ryan needs. He charges forward and yes – kissing in the dark when you’re not quite sure where the other person is? Awkward. WEIRD. Ryan’s lips sort of miss Shane’s and there’s a laugh and a snort and a lot of fumbling in the pitch black dark.

But then?

Oh, then.

Then there’s lips meeting and Ryan’s thoughts splinter, his veins ignite and he’s kissing Shane. Their tongues are tangling, lips playing along one another and suddenly the world isn’t over. It’s just beginning.

#shyan #my writing #theawfuledges #prompt #ish #godzilla!au

31 notes · View notes

bangkokjacknews · 3 years

Text

Sunday Mysteries: The hunt is still on for BIGFOOT

Is Bigfoot Real? What made the oversized tracks found in Bluff Creek, California, and other parts of America? A giant ape or just a big jape? In 1924, a group of miners working in the Cascade Mountain Range in the state of Washington were startled to see a huge simian creature staring at them from behind a tree. Panic-stricken, one of the men fired at it and although the bullet appeared to hit the giant ape in the head, the beast ran off, apparently unharmed. Soon afterwards another of the miners, Fred Beck, spotted it again on the edge of a canyon and again fired, this time hitting the creature in the back. The group watched as it fell over the ridge. They scrambled at once down into the canyon below, but could find no trace of the creature’s body. However, that evening as it grew dark, the men heard strange scratching noises outside their log cabin and saw shadowy gorilla-like faces at the window. The terrified miners barricaded the door but soon the creatures were hammering at the roof and walls. Heavy rocks were thrown and the cabin rocked from side to side. The men began shooting through the walls in all directions but still the hammering continued, only ending as the sun rose the next morning. The miners packed up at once and left the cabin, vowing never to return. It was only after Eric Shipton famously photographed a giant footprint on the Menlung Glacier of Mount Everest in 1951, putting his pickaxe alongside to show its size, that interest in giant apes began to gather pace. During the 1953 expedition to Everest, when Edmund Hillary and Sherpa Tensing were the first to successfully climb the mountain, both men reported seeing oversized footprints. Although Hillary later disputed that these were yeti tracks, there was so much interest in finding out more that the Daily Mail sponsored a ‘Snowman’ expedition in the Himalayas the following year. Keen to discover more about America’s very own yeti-style legend, John Green tracked down Fred Beck in the late 1960s and interviewed him for his book On the Track of the Sasquatch, and the Bigfoot mystery took even firmer root in America. The word ‘Sasquatch’, applied to the large, hairy hominid in its North American manifestation, was first coined much earlier – in the 1920s – by J. W. Burns. While working as a schoolteacher at the Chehalis Indian Reserve on the Harrison River, he had learned that Native American Indians used the words soos-q’tal and sokqueatl to describe the various ‘giant men’ of their legends. To simplify matters, Burns decided to invent one name to cover all such creatures, and through one of his articles – ‘Introducing British Columbia’s Hairy Giants’, published in MacLean’s Magazine in 1929 – ‘Sasquatch’ passed into wider use. As the public fascination for the giant apeman grew, the media began to report sightings on a regular basis. In 1958 road construction worker Ray Wallace was amazed when his colleague reported finding huge footprints in the dirt at Bluff Creak in northern California, the area they were working in. The local press descended and soon the story was front-page news all over America. Casts were made of the prints, which experts declared genuine. The first newspaper to carry the story, the Humboldt Times of Eureka in California, used the name ‘Bigfoot’ in their headline, and the word has since become synonymous with America’s favourite mystery creature. When more tracks were found, Sasquatch hunters flocked into the now famous Bluff Creek area to see what else they could discover. It wasn’t until Ray Wallace’s death, in December 2002, that the mystery was revealed. Members of Ray’s family requested that his obituary should announce that, with his passing, Bigfoot had also died. Ray Wallace immediately became one of the most controversial characters in Bigfoot history when it was revealed that he (along with a handful of his close friends and co-workers) had made the tracks. Investigators soon found out that all of the tracks appeared in areas Ray had worked in. In the early days that had been in Washington State, where the first footprints had been found, while over twenty years later discoveries were being made further south, in California. Bigfoot had not been on the move, Ray Wallace had. Family members produced dozens of different oversized foot moulds made out of wood or clay that Ray would have spent weeks crafting and honing. His buddies, by then rather elderly pranksters, showed in television documentaries how they had created the vast footsteps: holding on to a rope tied to the back of a logger’s truck being driven very slowly had enabled them to take the giant steps that had so fooled expert analysis. In much the same way as crop-circle makers simply enjoy confounding the experts, so did Ray and his pals. However, despite The New York Times running the news as a headline story, many Bigfoot researchers have discounted the revelation (not altogether surprising – cynics might say – when their credibility was on the line) and even tried to discredit the Wallace family, threatening them with legal action. One poor haunted soul who spent his adult life in search of Bigfoot evidence wondered why anybody would put so much time into ‘messing with people’s heads’. The answer, of course, is because it is fun. Fun, and surprisingly easy. Nonetheless, a number of scientists and leading members of the Bigfoot Field Research Centre (BFRC) are, instead, stating that the footprint moulds produced by the pranksters are themselves the fake, not the tracks. In a bizarre piece of reverse logic, some are insisting the Wallace family must prove their claims. John Green, described as one of America’s foremost Bigfoot researchers, loftily remarked of Wallace that if he had revealed the footprint mould during his lifetime he ‘would, of course, called upon to prove himself’. I am unable to see how anybody can become a ‘foremost researcher’ when they have discovered exactly the same amount of genuine evidence of Bigfoot as I have – that is, absolutely nothing. It was, after all, John Green who interviewed Albert Ostman in 1957 and fell for his tall (in more senses than one) story. Ostman said he had been looking for gold in British Columbia during the gold rush of 1927, when he had been kidnapped by an adult male Sasquatch. The beast gathered up the man in his sleeping bag and carried him several miles. He was then dumped on the ground and realized, shortly afterwards, that he was being held by a family of four who would not let him leave their camp. After six days of captivity, he concluded he was being considered as future husband material for the young female, so he fired his rifle into the air, distracting the family for long enough to make his escape. When Green asked why Albert had not told his story before, the ageing gold prospector replied that he thought nobody would have believed him. And few did, except John Green and his vast fan base of Bigfoot believers ready to leap to his defence on every issue. But Green did finally concede, in 2007, that he ‘would not believe the story if he were told it today’. Take another established piece of ‘proof’ – the footage of a female Sasquatch filmed by Roger Patterson in Bluff Creek. The story goes that in October 1967 Patterson and his friend Bob Gimlin were riding through the creek when their horses reared up and they were both thrown to the ground. Extract from Mysterious World As they picked themselves up, they noticed a ‘huge, hairy creature walking like a man’ about thirty yards ahead of them. Patterson grabbed his cine-camera and began filming the beast as she loped away, pausing only once – and looking directly into the camera lens as she did so – before disappearing from view. The film has become world famous and has been studied by zoologists, crypto-zoologists, palaeontologists, biologists, anthropologists, archaeologists, Uncle Tom Cobbley and all. And you will be unsurprised to hear that opinion is divided about whether it is genuine footage (Bigfootage?) or not. Leading scientists did, however, conclude at the time that there was ‘nothing in the film that leads them, on scientific grounds, to suspect a hoax’. Having now made my own detailed study of the film, using ultra-slow, frame-by-frame-pausing technology obligingly provided by Sony (namely, the DVD player in my front room), I can now add to the debate. To my albeit untrained eye, the creature looks suspiciously like a man in a monkey suit on his way to a fancy-dress party.

Seasoned Bigfoot researchers nevertheless regard the film as a significant piece of evidence, saying that to suggest that it was a hoax would be ‘demonstrably false’ – that old double-negative rhetoric again. But even non-researchers, including the physical anthropologist Grover Kranz, confirm the film does depict a ‘genuine unknown creature’. Another prominent primate expert, John Napier, is still not entirely convinced but once revealed: ‘I could not see the zipper then and I still can’t. Perhaps it was a man dressed up in a monkey costume; if so it was a brilliantly executed hoax and the unknown perpetrator will take his place with the great hoaxers of the world.’ So does this mean if he can’t see the zip, it can’t be a monkey suit? Or had the hoaxer compounded his/her cleverness by inventing an early form of Velcro? In 2004, Greg Long revealed in his book The Making of Bigfoot that the grainy clip was in fact an elaborate hoax. Long claims he had managed to trace the monkey suit to costume maker Philip Morris, a gorilla suit specialist from North Carolina. In the book, Morris states he sold the suit to Roger Patterson for $435, and when he saw the Bigfoot photos on the television and in the newspapers a few weeks later, he recognized the suit as the one he had made. Morris claims never to have revealed this information before because to break ‘client confidentiality’ in such a public manner would have lost him customers. It might have saved millions of research dollars, though. Greg Long revealed the man in the suit as Bob Heironimus – a friend of Patterson’s – who subsequently told the Washington Post: ‘It’s time people knew it was a hoax. It is time to let this thing go … I have been burdened with this for thirty-six years, seeing the film-clip on television numerous times. Somebody’s making lots of money out of this, except for me. But that is not the issue, the issue is that it is finally time to let people know the truth.’ John Green, of course, immediately went on the offensive, calling him a liar and declaring Greg Long had made ‘a fool of himself’. And while Heironimus was a known associate of Patterson and has passed two lie detector tests and Greg Long has found several independent, but supporting, witnesses, John Green still has yet to provide a single piece of evidence for his case that the film is of a genuine, if as yet unidentified, hairy giant. Step forward, then, Roger Patterson himself. Unfortunately, he can no longer be called upon as he died in 1972. However, the other witness to the Bigfoot sighting, Bob Gimlin, is still alive. Bob no longer speaks personally about the film as he is ‘fed up with the whole Bigfoot thing’, but his solicitor, Tom Malone, issued a statement to the Washington Post in response to their story about Heironimus’s revelation: ‘I am authorized to tell you that nobody wore a gorilla suit or monkey suit and that Mr Gimlin’s position is that it’s absolutely false and untrue.’ Which seems clear enough, but it is quite possible Gimlin didn’t know about Patterson’s hoax and was simply used to increase its credibility. Even if he was in on the act, Gimlin has always maintained the film to be genuine and so any revelation now, forty years after the event, would be somewhat embarrassing for him. In 1969, another set of tracks was reported – in Bossburg, Washington – that, on closer inspection, revealed the giant beast’s right paw was in fact club-footed. Experts argued that this indicated that the tracks were very likely to be the first genuine piece of evidence to support the existence of the Sasquatch. Professor John Napier, whose book Bigfoot was published in 1973, wrote: ‘It is difficult to conceive of a hoaxer so subtle, so knowledgeable – and so sick – who would deliberately fake a footprint of this nature. I suppose it is possible but so unlikely I am prepared to discount the idea it is a hoax.’ Straight from the school of ‘If I couldn’t think of it then nor could anybody else’, and with such imaginative minds on the trail of Bigfoot, it is hardly surprising he has managed to elude us for so long. Despite sightings of Bigfoot reported in every American state except Hawaii and Rhode Island, the creature’s natural habitat is said to be the remote woodlands and forests in the Pacific Northwest of America and Canada. The Rocky Mountains have provided many sightings, as have the Great Lakes. But if this is the case, how could he have got to Florida, California and other southern states? The Sasquatch would have had to leave the cover of his remote woodland hideaway, and it is difficult to imagine how such a creature could travel so far without leaving behind at least some credible evidence. You would certainly spot him in the Greyhound bus queue. But, unfortunately for the wonderfully named Texas Bigfoot Research Center (TBRC), it turns out that most of the evidence found, such as blood or hair samples, footprint casts or photographs, usually turn out to be fake and never, as yet, from an unknown creature. Investigators at TBRC say they receive reports of over one hundred sightings each year in Texas alone, while on the homepage of their website Janet Bord states: ‘If the skeptics are right and there is no such creature as Bigfoot, then it is a fact that thousands of Americans and Canadians are either prone to hallucinations, or are compulsive liars or unable to recognize bears, deer and vagrants.’ Quite how tramps became involved is anybody’s guess. Also on the homepage of the TBRC website is something that bears further examination. One Rick Noll is quoted, stating his reasons why no firm evidence for the existence of a big, hairy, part-man, part-simian-type monster has been found: - No one is spending enough time in the woods, - Not many people know what to do in searching, overlooking things, or vice-versa, seeing things that aren’t significant to the task, - There are not many of these animals around, - They, like most animals in the forest, know how to camouflage themselves quickly and easily, - Most encounters with humans are probably mistakes on the part of the Bigfoot, yet researchers are trying to fill in the picture with them as to being something significant. So there you have it. Those are the reasons the TBRC claim there is, to date, still no credible evidence of the existence of Bigfoot. So how is it then that, despite the use of the whole spectrum of technology – from heat-seeking cameras with night vision to thermal imaging – nobody has confirmed the existence of Bigfoot? Bigfoot enthusiasts apart, the group of people keenest to obtain as much information as possible of the apeman’s existence would be the US government. And as they have surveillance equipment that can detect a small nuclear warhead buried in the desert somewhere near Baghdad, it is fair to assume they would have picked up one of the thousands of Sasquatch that have to exist if all the Americans and Canadians who claim sightings are not lying. Such a large number of sightings does suggest that Bigfoot, or a relative of his, could well be out there; indeed I, like Janet Bord, refuse to believe that so many people can be lying. But hundreds of small, circumstantial and improvable reports do not add up to a single, solid fact. It is like pouring thirty separate measures of Jack Daniels into a large glass. Added together they do not make the drink any stronger in flavour; it still tastes exactly the same. But if you drink it all – as I have discovered through experimentation for this very investigation on your behalf – you will fall over. Scientifically speaking, weak evidence should not become any stronger just because there is lots of it, although it can affect your judgement in the end. But the Texas Bigfoot Research Center is not the only organization dedicated to finding firm evidence: there are many others throughout America. On 27 December 2003, for example, the Pennsylvania Bigfoot Society (PBS) hosted their fifth annual East Coast Bigfoot Conference (ECBC), and the keynote speaker, Stan Gordon, veteran researcher and the founder/director of the Pennsylvania Association for the Study of the Unexplained (PASU), concluded his opening speech linking Bigfoot sightings with known UFO activity in the same areas – although he stopped short of announcing: ‘Bigfoot is a spaceman.’ Which I would have done, just for the headline. leave in ‘There is no doubt the evidence suggests there is something out there,’ he assured the audience, as they sat there hanging on his every word, then continued: ‘We just don’t know what it is.’

Another speaker at the conference, Paul Johnson, a chemistry professor at Duquense University in Pittsburgh, thought he knew: ‘Bigfoot is a quantum animal that moves freely between the real world as we know it and a quantum world outside the reach of conventional laws.’ He went on to explain how that, in quantum physics, electrons do not follow the normal rules of physics. Although he admitted his ideas were unconventional, he also noted (contradicting himself in the process) that nothing as large as Bigfoot could behave like an electron in reality, which was a relief because everybody knows that a living being is unable to dematerialize and then reappear in perfect working order in another place. Unless, of course, you are travelling on the starship Enterprise,and then you can. Another speaker at the ECBC, Janice Coy from Monroe County, Tennessee, claimed her family had developed a relationship with a family of Bigfoot (or should that be ‘Bigfeet’?) since 1947. Her grandfather, having stumbled across an injured Bigfoot, had bandaged its broken leg and allowed it to recover in a barn at the family farm. She claims to have even held a baby Bigfoot in her arms and explained that for years she had tried to obtain photographic evidence, without success. She picked up on Paul Johnson’s quantum theory and suggested that was the reason none of her photographs ever returned to her with images any clearer than a ‘shapeless fuzz’. And no one likes to see a shapeless fuzz now, do they. On one occasion the Sasquatch family, realizing the camera was present on a nearby tripod, used long sticks to retrieve food from a place out of range of the lens. On another occasion, the roll of film Janice submitted to a commercial processing lab returned to her after the film had been mysteriously overexposed, and every image lost for ever. Read the full article

0 notes

cbwalive · 3 years

Text

CBWA SUPER ESTRELLA EP. 7

Ladies and gentleman welcome to an all new Super Estrella I’m good ol JR alongside Gordon Solie and Gordon we are off the heals of The Great Bogota Bash and a lot to talk about

That’s right JR, what a great night last Sunday we have a new number one contender in the powerhouse Steve Ryder plus the fallout from Roberto Gibson and what about AuZZtin.

Well we will give you an update on ZZ tonight and folks if you missed any of the action from The Great Bogota Bash the encore presentation will be next Tuesday, well Gordon we all know what that music means it sounds like the boss and The BS Service are on their way as we take you to the ring

UAnd there he is Gordon, Mr. John Schneider and you can’t whip that look off his face

You certainly can’t JR last Sunday was indeed a good night for The BS Service

It certainly was and the boss has the mic

Ladies and gentleman welcome to Super Estrella and most importantly welcome to Roberto Gibson appreciation night more on that in just a second but seriously what a great night it was at The Great Bogota Bash so many great matches and we are now on the road to Drug Wars 5 and I said on social media recently that I had a huge announcement but before I make this huge announcement I would like to bring somebody out here, this individual was going in the wrong direction from somebody he trusted but now he has been reunited with his father and is now going in the right direction, so without further ado I like to introduced to be accompanied to the ring by the new CBWA tag team champions City Hall and most importantly his father The Mayor of Bogota Stan Lane, here is Garth Lane!!!!!!

Folks if you missed The Great Bogota Bash you saw this return of this man here, new look and all and it looks like his farther the Mayor Stan Lane has finally accepted Garth and there he is alongside the brand new CBWA Tag Champs City Hall

Certainly JR a huge surprise at The Bash as Garth hasn’t been seen in awhile, it was even rumored he was killed and buried by Roberto Gibson

A lot of people around the locker room thought that it was indeed not a rumor back fact as we go back to the ring and looks like Mr. Schneider has a gift for young Garth

Garth, City Hall, Mr. Mayor at The Great Bogota Bash history was made and a big part of that history was because of this man Garth Lane and Garth I would like to present to you something here and this is the big announcement, we as a company need to involve more talent and I get calls from free agents all around and if we are going to make this company the best Wrestling destination then we have to have more championships to battle, so with that said Garth I would like to present to you The CBWA Hardcore Championship

Look at that belt Gordon it looks we have a new championship in the CBWA and it’s the Hardcore Title and now Bogota Bubba has the mic

Mr. Schneider first of all thank you for coming in here taking leadership and getting the bum’s that were holding back to real talent and this is the beginning to something really great, but I would now like to introduce the man responsible for my career and single handily turned Bogota into a destination that people can come and enjoy, stand up for your Mayor, stand up for Mr. Stan Lane!!!!!

We haven’t heard from the Mayor in quiet some time this should be interesting for sure

Thank you Bubba, Mr. Schneider, people of Bogota, your Mayor is back!!! Recently a lot of bad things have been going down in this beautiful city and some people were looking for me for leadership and help, well as the news media would say I disappeared what they don’t know was I was making calls to get rid of the problem starting with this man right here, Mr. John Schneider I knew this man would lead this company to the next level and get myself and my son Garth to reunite and become a family and people of Bogota with the help of Mr. Schneider and the BS Service you will no longer have to live in fear in this city ever again

Thank you Mr. Mayor and well I hate to bring this up but as you were giving that great speech it looks like Garth made an accident but don’t worry I have somebody that will clean this up, the reason we are celebrating tonight, to celebrate the career of perhaps one of most inspirational figures in CBWA history, give it up to Roberto Gibson!!!!!

Well folks if you missed the Great Bogota Bash then you know this man is not the real Roberto Gibson and it’s a damn shame what the real Gibson did at The Bash but it looks to be as a new Roberto Gibson is here and my god look at this man Gordon

Certainly looks like he fell off an 20 ft ugly tree for sure

You are right about that Gordon as we go back to the ring

You know Bob we really never saw eye to eye, ha ha that was a good one guys, anyway you are a man of your word now do me a favor and clean up that mess now

The audacity of Mr. Schneider to do this to “Gibson” is ridiculous

Now get up and tell the entire world who the best is

Well that is you Mr. Schneider

Thank you for that Gibson you are dismissed…

Wait a damn minute!!!!

Uh oh Gordon it looks like The Miz has something to say

What is going on here? You are giving an appreciation day to a man that has committed so many crimes and buried so many bodies in my backyard and you are expecting me to just sit back and not say anything? Really? Really? Really?

The boss certainly doesn’t look pleased with the Miz

He’s a bum, who went out and stole the show and defeated all odds at The Great Bogota Bash? Me, I went in and beat ZZ so bad that he may never walk again and I never got a “hey Miz great job” or “hey Miz thank you for getting rid of that idiot” no nothing, I’m tired of it, I want this bum tonight and I’m going to destroy him, just like I did to this tard here and just like I did to ZZ last Sunday

Well Miz you want Gibson tonight you got it and next time you talk to me like that again I will make sure the next body that gets buried in your back yard will be yours

Oh wait just a minute Gordon I thought he wasn’t going to be here its AuZZtin!!!!! ZZ!!!! ZZ!!!!! ZZ!!!!

Business has sure picked up

Sorry to ruin this little sausage fest out here but I have some unfinished business here and I plan on coming down there and whopping somebody’s ass

Oh it looks like ZZ is making his way to the ring

Hold on pal, you take one more step and I will have you escorted out, you are not medically cleared to even be here, you are at risk to severely permanently injure yourself and I will not be liable for that, so the best thing for you to do is turn around and go home until you are clear to come back

Oh look at this JR Reigns grabs the mic

In case you didn’t hear Mr. Schneider he said take your tail and tuck it in and turn around and go home, BITCH!!!!!!!

Oh ZZ is not going to like that and wait a minute it’s the champ Goldberg, the Man that will face Reigns at our next pay per view Wrestle Rock at The Sea 4 and here we go Goldberg is cleaning house and The BS Service is scattering out of the ring, Goldberg is cleaning house, uh oh look whos left its “Gibson” and a devastating spear to “Gibson” my god he is broken in half, the champ has the mic

Hey Reigns who says we wait for Wrestle Rock at the Sea 4, I say we do this tonight and you’re next!!

Look at Reigns I think he wants it and by the look of this crowd so do they, lets hear what the boss has to say to this

Champ first off you don’t make the matches I do and Mr. Reigns is ready and it seems like you are, so lets give the fans what they want then tonight we get, Goldberg, Reigns tonight and its for the CBWA Heavyweight title!!!!!

Oh my god what a major announcement for tonight!!!! Goldberg and Reigns for the title in our Main Event, folks don’t you dare touch that dial we will be right back

And welcome back to Super Estrella folks, if you are just joining us the boss dropped a major main event match for tonight it will be Goldberg vs Reigns for the CBWA World Heavyweight Title tonight as we take you backstage to Kenny

Thanks guys and wow what a big announcement indeed I’m here with the phenomenal AJ Styles and AJ what a great performance at in the battle royal as you were so close to winning and main eventing Drug Wars 5 so what are your thoughts after The Bash

Kenny, I’m main eventing Drug Wars 5 and challenging the CBWA World Heavyweight Champion

Well AJ with all due respect you didn’t win the battle royal, Powerhouse Steve Ryder did, he’s going to Drug Wars 5 as the number one contender

Kenny, I’m main eventing Drug Wars 5 and challenging the CBWA World Heavyweight Champion

Well guy I don’t know what AJ Styles is talking about back to you

Thank you Kenny and a very strange interview from Styles as we take you to the ring and the Fink

Ladies and gentleman the following contest is schedule for one fall currently in the ring weighing in at 234LBS Harry Borwitz

And his opponent from every girls wet dream weighing in at 225LBS here is Party Jannetty

This is the in ring debut of Party on Super Estrella as Party is paying attention to the ladies at ringside and watch out Harry Borwitz with a quick roll up, 1,2 and a kick out and oh what a dropkick by Party

You know JR if Party can stay focused he is a legit threat

Indeed he is as Party now is going to the top rope and down with the rocker fist, 1,2,3 lets go to the Fink for the announcement

The winner of the match Party Jannetty

Big win for Party as we are going to take a quick break folks and when we come back its Miz and Gibson coming up don’t touch that dial

And welcome back folks as we take you to the Fink

Ladies and gentleman the following contest is scheduled for one fall introducing first to be accompanied to the ring by his wife Maryse he is the CBWA South American Champion, The Miz!!!!!

And wow look at Maryse Gordon

Certainly is cold in here that’s for sure

Well it’s a good thing we sit at a desk I can tell you that much as we take you back to the Fink

And his opponent CBWA Hall of Famer Roberto Gibson

Oh come on Fink that is clearly not Gibson and wait a minute the Boss is on the ramp and it looks like he is giving “Gibson” some sort of sign and look at this Gordon he is laying down

What is going on here?

Miz with a big smile on his face makes the cover 1,2,3 what the hell was that? And look at Miz he’s acting like he just won the World Title for god sakes and wait just a minute from behind its ZZ, don’t turn around Miz and bam a Gator Stunner!!!! My god what a stunner and uh oh Gordon Maryse is in now in the ring Gordon

She better get out of there

She certainly better and uh oh she just slapped ZZ and oh my god ZZ just stunned her oh my god!!! Folks we will be right back with the main event

And welcome back to an already exciting episode of Super Estrella before we went to break we saw ZZ gator stun Maryse and EMT’s are now in the ring tending to her as we take you backstage to Kenny.

Thank you guys a chaotic scene for sure going on in the ring and here now with AuZZtin and ZZ what was that about?

What that was was just a piece of what I’m going to when I finally get my hands on the Miz, look at your pretty little wife now, if I can do that to her imagine what I will do to you, last Sunday you tried to end my career son and you can look in my bloodshot eyes when I say this, I will beat your ass within an inch of your life and that’s the bottom line cause ZZ said so.

Guys back to you.

Alright thank you Kenny certainly a chaotic scene for sure as we now see the EMT’s putting Maryse in the ambulance and of the course The Miz is going with her, wow but on with show Gordon as we get you guys ready for perhaps the biggest main event on Super Estrella Goldberg and Raman Reigns for the CBWA World Heavyweight Title and this all started earlier tonight when Goldberg stormed the ring and cleaned house and then got on the mic and said this

Hey Reigns we don’t have to wait for Wrestle Rock at the Sea 4 let’s do it now!!! And then after talking to Mr. Schneider it was announced that indeed the main event will happen as you we take you one more time to Kenny who is with The Powerhouse Steve Ryder.

Powerhouse you certainly have an interest in this match, your thoughts on who you wanna meet at Drug Wars 5.

First off Kenny smell this, you smell that? You know what that is? That’s the smell of a winner Kenny, because it doesn’t matter who wins you are looking at the main event and you are looking at the genetic freak and after Drug Wars 5 you are looking at once again the CBWA World Heavyweight Champion now if you excuse me I got a match to scout

You heard it from the Powerhouse and he does indeed smell like a wiener I mean winner, back to you guys

Alright Kenny go grab you a smoke, well folks the time has it is main event time as we now take you to the Fink.

Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for The CBWA World Heavyweight Championship introducing first weighing in at 257LBS Raman Reigns!!!!!!

And here comes the challenger and he is looking jacked Gordon

Indeed he does JR This is Reigns first match in the CBWA and my question is how is he already number one contender Gordon Well look who he is associated with JR Well you got a point there as we take you back to The Fink.

And his opponent weighing in at 265LBS he is the CBWA World Heavyweight Champion Goldberg!!!!!

And listen to this crowd they are excited to see the champ and here he comes Nicholas Patrick the referee holds up the most important title in wrestling today as the bell rings and we are ready to go, collar and elbow tie but look at this both men not giving an inch and now Goldberg is telling Reigns to go off the ropes, Reign takes him up on his offer and oh look at that Gordon Reigns not able to take the Champ down Certainly not JR, it’s like a clash of the Titans That it is Gordon and Reigns goes off again and oh look at that a kick to the guy, that will definitely get it done and now Reigns with a vicious closeline and now Reigns in complete control now and a huge suplex cover 1,2 and a kick out from the champ, now Reigns throws Goldberg in the ropes and a huge Samoan drop cover 1,2 and another kick out from the champ You can tell JR Reigns is getting frustrated He certainly is as it looks like he is now setting up for the Superman punch and wait just a minute the crowd seems to have there attention to something in the crowd wait just a second is that who I think it is? It certainly does JR will the real Roberto Gibson please stand up And now Reigns sees Gibson and he needs to pay attention to the champ who is now up and is ready for a spear, turn around Reigns and bam!!!! What a spear and now he is getting Reigns ready for the jackhammer but wait the Boss on the ramp calling for somebody, it’s Blaster Lashley and the other Gibson and wait just a minute Steve Ryder with a Ryder line to Lashley and now Goldberg has Reigns up and oh my god the other Gibson with a low blow on the champ and now Reigns with a spear, cover, come on not like this 1,2,3 we have a new champion, you gotta be kidding me, what a swerve job this is let’s go to The Fink with the announcement The winner of the match and NEW!!!!! CBWA World Heavyweight Champion Raman Reigns I smell a rat as Mr. Schneider now gets in the ring and presents the belt to Reigns, who is going to stop the BS Service now as we are running out of time folks we’ll see you next week on Super Estrella

0 notes

topfygad · 4 years

Text

9 Approaching Songs Festivals in Australia

Australia is one explicit of my favourite areas within the surroundings. It’s the initially state I visited on the backpacking journey that may completely change my existence.

You higher really feel half of that life altering calendar yr bundled some capabilities, and among the biggest events took spot at new music festivals all-around the area. I nonetheless bear in mind Stereosonic 2010 in Melbourne prefer it was yesterday. It could be an individual of the most effective festivals I’ve ever been to!

Australia is regarded for buying not solely among the only music but additionally among the best songs festivals on the earth. If you’re spending any time there, you unquestionably by no means need to miss out on these impending songs festivals in Australia.

1. MONA FOMA

When: January Precisely the place: Hobart, Tasmania Why: MONA FOMA, additionally known as ‘MOFO’ by some, often takes place each calendar yr in Tasmania. Opposite to different approaching audio festivals in Australia, this only one is a tiny further quite a few. It’s a updated pageant, that includes not solely singers and bands, however dancers, performances, visible arts, and extra. The pageant was began out by Brian Ritchie of the Violent Femmes, a person who unquestionably appreciated all types of songs. Regardless of whether or not you like a little bit punk or want some classical orchestra, this competitors has obtained all of it. Maintain: Hobart YHA

2. Southbound

When: January The place by: Busselton, WA Why: If you’re looking for one factor a small way more groovy, the Southbound Music Competitors is looking your title. Located on the Western Australian shoreline, this pageant isn’t simply concerning the tunes. The full weekend attributes markets, meals automobiles, and tons of parents simply tenting out having a wonderful time. The road-up is absolutely candy, so that you may be assured to come back to really feel the superior vibes though chillin’ out with new and previous pals. Keep: Dunsborough YHA

3. Sydney Competitors

When: January The place: Sydney (naturally) Why: For those who materialize to be in Australia by summertime, then make completely certain to go to Sydney for the Sydney Competitors. Akin to MOFO, this pageant doesn’t simply enchantment to only one kind of viewers, however welcomes all pursuits with a whole bunch of occasions like performers from throughout all the world. Virtually every thing from updated tunes to drama demonstrates are completed on this article, and it’s greater than sufficient to retain the 500,000 folks as we speak who happen under each single yr properly-entertained. Stay: Sydney Central YHA | Sydney Harbour YHA | Railway Sq. YHA

4. St Jerome’s Laneway Pageant

When: February The place by: Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane, Adelaide, Fremantle Why: 10 a few years previously, St. Jerome’s Laneway Competition commenced in a little bit Melbourne laneway, hosting space indie bands. Contemplating the truth that 2005, the music competitors has expanded, and may be present in 5 Australian cities, as properly as different cities round all the world. The brand new music pageant showcases up-and-coming space talents as completely as important intercontinental names, so get your tickets now! Stay: Melbourne Central YHA | Sydney Central YHA | Brisbane Metropolis YHA | Adelaide Central YHA | Fremantle Jail YHA

5. Byron Bay Bluesfest

When: March (In depth Easter Weekend) Wherever: Byron Bay Why: Bluesfest is “Australia’s Main Blues & Roots Pageant,” and it’s been attracting pageant-goers for almost thirty a very long time. Taking spot on the Tyagarah Tea Tree Farm in Byron Bay, there’ll be further than greater than sufficient home for you and your good pals to expertise the conquer. There are over 200 performances corresponding to your favourite artists, like John Mayer, John Legend & BB King, Paul Simon, Bob Dylan, and quite a few others. Camp out and get pleasure from the meals stalls, market place stalls, and beer gardens. There may be even younger kids enjoyment areas so the entire partner and kids can take part on the enjoyable. Maintain: Byron Bay YHA

6. Groovin’ The Moo

When: April and Could maybe The place by: Maitland, Canberra, Oakbank, Bendigo, Townsville, Bunbury (all NSW) Why: If the title of this songs pageant by itself doesn’t intrigue you ample, then happen on by to see what Groovin’ The Moo is all about. Nonetheless this tunes pageant isn’t fairly as big or nicely thought to be the opposite people in Australia, it has taken off across the earlier decade by that includes some pretty main names. The competitors has fantastic vibes and it’s possible you’ll find yourself subsequent it to every particular person metropolis it goes. Keep: Canberra City YHA | Hunter Valley YHA (30 minutes from Maitland) | Bunbury YHA

7. Splendour within the Grass

When: July-August Through which: Byron Bay Why: This Australian new music competitors was began as a means of offering leisure all by the months when new music festivals in Australia aren’t as commonplace it didn’t purchase intensive for the pageant to come back to be standard. At 1st, it was solely a day, however now it lasts for a number of. Splendour within the Grass choices artists from quite a few genres, along with substitute, rap, digital, rock, metallic, and punk. With this kind of selection, it’s no shock that the competitors has obtained awards for its astounding line-ups over the numerous years. Stay: Byron Bay YHA

8. Stereosonic

When: November – December Wherever: Brisbane, Adelaide, Perth, Sydney, Melbourne Why: Stereosonic is the last word digital audio pageant held all through a number of cities in Australia each calendar yr. For those who like home new music vibes like me, you’ll really feel proper at property at Stereosonic. Just because this style is attending to be way more and well-known in Australia and throughout the globe, it’s no shock that Stereosonic attracts extra and extra individuals from all-around the world every particular person 12 months. With an nice line-up that includes neighborhood and international names, it’s positively an encounter you’ll by no means ever ignore. Stay: Brisbane Metropolis YHA | Adelaide Central YHA | Perth Metropolis YHA | Sydney Central YHA | Melbourne Central YHA

9. Falls Competitors

When: December – January The place by: Lorne, VIC, Marion Bay, TAS, Yelgun, NSW Why: The Falls Songs & Arts Competition happens for a lot of days above New 12 months’s nearly yearly. The songs pageant is held in varied metropolitan areas, although at first it was solely held in Lorne after which it solely lasted a day. The pageant has launched its superb line-up for this yr, and it accommodates artists you admire, like Bloc Occasion, “Bizarre Al” Yankovic, Foals, Disclosure, and Gary Clark Jr. You don’t have any conflicting choices for NYE this yr, do you? Of system not! Keep: Apollo Bay YHA | Hobart YHA

This was an editorial collaboration with YHA, Australia’s premier hostelling group. All textual content and views proceed being my have.

Browse Up coming: The 17 Highest Journey Functions

from Cheapr Travels https://ift.tt/2vYDS2w via IFTTT

#IFTTT #Cheapr Travels

0 notes

asktailikku · 7 years

Text

While I know that Thanksgiving is nearly a week and a half away, my local radio stations have decided to take the opportunity to play Christmas songs, with the big offender being FM 93.9 WLIT.

But rather than rant about how they are jumping the gun, I would like to take this opportunity to talk about two Disney holiday classics released on VHS and DVD on the this very day, five years apart from each other (eventually appearing on a 2-movie Blu-Ray), Mickey’s Once and Twice Upon a Christmas.

Please note that Mickey does not have such a candle in the film

Each of these films are a collection of stories starring Mickey and the gang, each dealing with the holiday hustle and bustle as well as the good warm feelings that make us feel merry. The first one contains three stories while the second has five.

The first segment in Once Upon a Christmas is Donald Duck – Stuck on Christmas. Despite his name being in the title, the story actually focusses on Huey, Dewey, and Louie. As they spend Christmas Day, they are shocked to see it go by so quickly and wish upon the Evening Star for it to be Christmas every day.

I should bring up that the original “Christmas Every Day” story from 1892 was more of a what if scenario as if the year continued as normal, but every day was Christmas. On paper this sounded like a good idea, to have it celebrated every day turns out to be a terrible idea as it ends up drying up the proper resources for Christmas. By July in the story, people are more focussed on Christmas than they are the 4th of July. And by autumn, people giving presents go from “Here you go, pal” to “Take this and f**k off!” As it turned out, the endless Christmas celebration was nothing more than a dream.

Instead, the story borrows more from Groundhog Day starring Bill Murray. In the film, Bill is stuck in a time loop that haunts him for what seems like centuries, waking up every morning on 2/2/1993. Only until he undergoes some serious character development does he escape the loop. In the Nephews’ case, this decades long loop serves as a punishment for them as they do not know the true meaning of Christmas.

It gets to a point where the boys have everything down and in what order, as follows:

Wake up

Open presents

Donald freaks out, drops breakfast on himself

Daisy, Scrooge, and “Aunt Gertie” (her only appearance) arrive

Go sledding

Eat dinner

Sing carols

Go to bed at 10:00 PM

Repeat the next day

Towards the end of the loops, the boys decide to spice things up, similar to Bill’s suicidal loops in the film. First they ice bomb Chip’n’Dale as their Christmas morning reminder of them playing train was getting annoying. Then they sent their RC car and plane after Donald before he sets foot in the living room. When Gerty arrives for kisses, the boys arrive in scuba gear. By dinner, the roasted turkey has been replaced with a live one, ticking Donald off, and wrecking the piano, cancelling carols. After the turkey chase, the turkey ends up going up the chimney and in Santa’s outfit. It’s not so much the appearance of the turkey that’s hilarious, it’s the implication that Santa knew that the day was on repeat. In an attempt to save face, the boys attempt to leave with their sleds, but then read the card that was attatched to one of them, a poem written by Scrooge about the true meaning of Christmas. The next loop can be seen as something similar to Bill’s philanthropist loops in the film.

In this loop, the nephews use the Junior Woodchucks Guidebook to convert the sleds into a gift for Donald. When morning comes, they give a bag of nuts to Chip’n’Dale. They then make Donald breakfast and tell him that they need to wait until the family arrives. By dinnertime, they eat ham instead of turkey, with the turkey eating with them. The nephews then reveal their gift to Donald: a snowboat. The loop ends with Donald and Daisy kissing under the mistletoe.

The next morning turns out to be Boxing Day as Donald wants to give his gift a try, only for it to fall apart as he goes down the hill.

The next segment is A Very Goofy Christmas, which is an original story with some elements of Miracle of 33rd Street and “Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus”. Goofy and Max (in his very last appearance as a child) are writing letters to Santa and shoveling snow from their driveway and sidewalk. Pete arrives and insists that “an old guy in a red suit cruising the whole world in one night using reindeer that fly” is practically impossible. Despite this, Goofy wants to help his son beleive in Christmas magic and the spirit of Old St. Nick, as they have a Christmas Eve dinner with a neighboring poor family. Dinner goes without a hitch, but then when Goofy tries to act as a department store Santa, things go haywire as Max feels betrayed.

Goofy decides that in order to cheer his son up, not just with Old Stuffed Bear, he’ll prove that Santa exists that night even if he has to stand out in the cold. After two false alarms (a pug in jingle bells and Big Time Beagle attempting to rob from Pete), Goofy is the one that begins to doubt Santa’s existence and Max is the one that is willing to cheer him up, dressing as Santa like earlier that evening. As Goofy follows his son up the chimney, they see Santa flying by and dropping Max’s gift into their hands. Plus some well deserved Karma for Pete. Max then decides to share his gift with one of the poor kids.

The final segment is a retelling of O. Henry’s classic tale of The Gift of the Magi. In this version, Mickey has a harmonica without a case and Minnie has a pocket watch. Both of them have the intention of getting a gift to compliment their treasure, a chain for the watch and a case for the harmonica. Mickey’s job at Crazy Pete’s at first seems to be enough to get him the chain, but then when he helps a poor family with a smaller tree rather than a 10-ft Nova Scotia pine that Pete was trying to force upon them, Mickey’s paycheck is confiscated, but needless to say, karma bites Pete again as he accidentally sets his ten-footers ablaze.

On Minnie’s end, her job at Mortimer’s only ended with her getting a fruitcake from her tightwad of a boss (and this was the same Mortimer that has attempted being a casanova time and again, even if it means humiliating Mickey). Back to Mickey, he participates in a toy drive held in the park to tide over until the Firehouse Five return from putting out the blaze at Crazy Pete’s. The firecheif compliments Mickey’s harmonica skills and that its worth its weight in gold. This gives Mickey the idea to trade his harmonica to get the chain. With the chain in hand, Mickey and Minnie decide to open gifts, only to learn that they traded their treasures to get the other’s gift.

In my head canon, they receive a surprise visitor, the shopkeeper who gives them their original treasures back, claiming them to be new presents altogether. This is partially based on versions of the story where the shopkeeper is the main character and oversees the exchanges between treasures and gifts, as seen on an episode of Sesame Street with Gordon playing this to Ernie and Bert.

The movie ends with Mickey and the gang singing a medley of carols (Jingle Bells, Deck the Halls, We Wish You a Merry Christmas).

The first segment on the second movie, now done in CG, is “Belles on Ice”. This segment was partially inspired by Michelle Kwan’s performance at the Salt Lake City Winter Olympics and her performance as Mulan in “Reflections on Ice”. The plot involves Minnie and Daisy having a figure skating duel that escalates out of control, with the two of them realizing that their egos got the best of them. Original concepts for the segment included a parade float contest, a store window display competition and a cooking show bake-off.

The next segment is “Christmas: Impossible” The segment begins with Scrooge having Donald, Daisy, and the Nephews over at his mansion (with its own zip-code) to celebrate the holidays. On Christmas Eve, the nephews cause a ruckus, which leads to Scrooge talking to them about cleaning up their act if they ever want to get on Santa’s Nice List, of which he is not.

I should bring up that there was one thing he always wnated from Santa but never got: a set of bagpipes.

A little problem with that Mr. McDee, you made yourself a set before you emigrated from Scotland to America and even used it against Ma Beagle. And of course these pipes predate the Number One Dime.

Anyways, with this plothole out of the way.

The nephews decide that the best way to get on the nice list is to head to Santa’s Workshop at the North Pole and write their names on it. After finding the list room locked and getting the key from Santa’s office (the original script called for an ice cave with a hungry polar bear swimming about), they are about to head in there and set things right for themselves when they lose the key in a pile of fake keys belonging to a key themed toy

In when brainstorming ideas about the toy in question, the animators pitched at least ten ideas, nine of which are seen above. My personal favorites being Key-to-My-Heart Kate, Dog Pound Pals, and Who-Dini the Owl. The winner of the contest was Jailbreak Bob only because of Jeff Bennet’s demo reel as him (“Lemme out, see?”) proved to be the coolest.

One thing leads to another as the boys accidentally gum up the progress made by the elves, almost ruining Christmas, with the elves comparing this to the “Sleigh Crash of ’64”. The nephews decide to help fix this mess and escape back to the list room, keyless (Santa took it back having assumed to have lost it), but end up sneaking into the list room behind the janitor.

Pulling up Duckburg on the monitors, they find that they are indeed not on the list, but instead write Scrooge’s name on there. The next morning, they find tons of presents for them, including a Jailbreak Bob (“Be good this year, see? And have a Merry Christmas!”), the Idiot’s Guide to Manners, and a new set of bagpipes for Scrooge, ending the segment with Santa sending a letter saying that “there’s always room on the Nice List for those who think of other first,” and Scrooge playing Deck the Halls on his new pipes, very badly.

The third segment is more or less a montage called “Christmas Maximus”. This more or less follows Max (now in his 20’s) and his new girlfriend Mona, spending the holidays at Goofy’s after leaving from college, with Goofy trying hard not to embarass Max, and eventually strengthening the bond between the two of them. In a rather interesting move, Mona is voiced by Kellie Martin, who voiced Roxanne in the original Goofy Movie.

Next is Donald’s Gift, and I can tell you one thing from listening to “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” over and over again.

Donald is not amused. All he wants is some peace and quiet and a piping cup of hot chocolate. Daisy and the nephes arrive to take them shopping at Mousy’s, but Donald doesn’t want any of it. But he is forced to regardless.

Donald finds a cocoa stand and gets a big cup of it. This is where things get wierd as every noise he hears throughout the department store is in sync to “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”, culminating in him ending up in the black-lit display window playing the same song. In his rage, he destroys it but is shamed upon by his family and thrown out by security (“Fer cryin’ out loud, where’s yer Christmas spirit!”)

Trudging home, Donald comes across an uncoordinated group of carollers trying to sing the song. Donald takes over conducting and together, they produce a beautiful harmony that draws in all the townsfolk. Soon the crowd draws in Daisy and the boys, who see Donald finally showing some Christmas spirit. Donald apologizes and joins in on the singing, making sure to sing from his heart.

The final segment is Mickey’s Doggone Christmas. In this story, Mickey is trying to set up a party with Pluto, but Pluto accidentally causes a powersurge which not only ruins the set up that Mickey had, but gets him sent to the dog house. Mickey then heads out on his own to fix the damage in time for the party, all while dealing with a crazy snowplow truck. Pluto decides that enough is enough and runs away, taking the next train behind his backyard.

The train ends up taking Pluto to the North Pole, where he sees Santa’s reindeer training for the big night. The main two deer of the special are Dunder and Blitzen (voiced by Jeff Bennet and Jim Cummings respectively). As Pluto is not wearing his collar, Dunder decides to adopt him as “Murray,” as in “Murry Christmas” *faceplam*

Mickey returns home to find that Pluto ran off and calls his friends to rally a search party. “Murray” meanwhile is hacing fun with the team, but soon feels homesick. Mickey meanwhile has been handing out fliers of his missing bloodhound, and soon takes his request up with a mall Santa, revealed to be the real deal and from “Christmas: Impossible”. Santa tells Dunder and Blitzen that Pluto is homesick, and is prepared to take him back to Mickey.

The movie ends with Mickey and Pluto reunited as the gang arrives in the snowplow truck. As it happened, when Minnie heard Mickey’s call, she made calls to the rest of the gang, with Scrooge buying a snowplow company to aid in the search, Goofy happened to be the running gage snowplow. All together, they sing the medley from the previous film as the film comes to a close. This ending seems to imply that this was going to be the last part of an ongoing story where Mickey and Pluto were setting up for the party and each decoration brought up a different memory, leading into the stories. This would also help explain why the “Angry Man” appears in each segment, as well as the elves and Dunder mentioning the Sleigh Crash of ’64.

All in all, despite what Rotten Tomatoes may think, these two movies are the perfect holiday experience for fans old and new as well as friends and family alike.

Mickey’s Nth Upon a Christmas While I know that Thanksgiving is nearly a week and a half away, my local radio stations have decided to take the opportunity to play Christmas songs, with the big offender being FM 93.9 WLIT.

2 notes · View notes

argonapricot · 7 years

Note

all of them

ALEX THERE ARE TWO HUNDRED OF THESE PLS

200: My crush’s name is: Nupur199: I was born in: is this asking for time or place198: I am really: too tired to be dealing with this rn197: My cellphone company is: verizon I think196: My eye color is: brown. like 20% hazel-ish if you squint195: My shoe size is: 9 1/2194: My ring size is: uh193: My height is: 5′5″192: I am allergic to: capital pi191: My 1st car was: lol190: My 1st job was: working as a Hebrew teacher? That is. Still my job.189: Last book you read: Invisible Man for school, Adaptation by Melinda Lo outside of it, and I’m currently working on a book written about Tolkien.188: My bed is: A CASTLE IT’S THE BEST BED OKAY187: My pet: Sasha and Maya, the bestest cats186: My best friend: “””””””””””””””””you”””””””””””””””””” that’s a lie it really is you

185: My favorite shampoo is: I use Pantene but like. I don’t really think of shampoo in terms of favorites?184: Xbox or ps3: what are those183: Piggy banks are: c u t e182: In my pockets: money, quarters, this one teabag that I keep forgetting to do anything with, and occasionally small wrappers.181: On my calendar: your birthday!180: Marriage is: classy179: Spongebob can: sponge the bobs but can he rob the mobs?178: My mom: a great and good and amazing mom177: The last three songs I bought were? Three individual movements of Johan de Meij’s Lord of the Rings symphony176: Last YouTube video watched:175: How many cousins do you have? 4174: Do you have any siblings? 1173: Are your parents divorced? nope172: Are you taller than your mom? yup171: Do you play an instrument? DO I EVER170: What did you do yesterday? sure as heck not any calculus homework[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: I thought I did, until yesterday 3168: Luck: Yeah?167: Fate: I mean idk166: Yourself: “””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””sure””””””””””””””””””””””165: Aliens: I believe in the possibility, I’ve never pretended to know!164: Heaven: I wish I did more than I do163: Hell: nah162: God: *waves my hands in a squiggly agnostic way* not in like a biblical sense but in a unifying connect-y energy in everything idk161: Horoscopes: I mean I believe in them as concepts like. They exist. That’s a thing. I don’t buy into them but I like them all the same.160: Soul mates: 159: Ghosts: nnnnnah158: Gay Marriage: HELL YEAH157: War: not in so many words156: Orbs: what155: Magic: the elf sitting in my computer says yes[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs153: Drunk or High: drugs are bad152: Phone or Online: Are these mutually exclusive? Online151: Red heads or Black haired: BOTH I mean red heads bc maedhros but I find both very attractive150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes all the way149: Hot or cold: how cot or how cold?148: Summer or winter: mmmeh147: Autumn or Spring: autumn!146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla!145: Night or Day: night as a concept, day as a time when I’m awake144: Oranges or Apples: apples. unless we’re talking clementines or mandarins here in which case...143: Curly or Straight hair: shrug?142: McDonalds or Burger King: I only eat organic kale cubes141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: dark chocolate what sort of a rigged survey is this (but okay I like all chocolates they are all good and great)

140: Mac or PC: ...............mac139: Flip flops or high heals: neither gross sneakers are good138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: I love how it’s not even pretty and poor but “sweet”, like what kind of asshole would say ugly and rich and have that be an official statement that they make.137: Coke or Pepsi: I don’t like fizzy drinks136: Hillary or Obama: I’m going to cry135: Burried or cremated: planted into a tree134: Singing or Dancing: BOTH133: Coach or Chanel: what does this mean132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who are these people131: Small town or Big city: Once upon a time I would’ve said small town, but these past two years I’ve really come into my own as a citygirl.130: Wal-Mart or Target: target ofc129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: uh128: Manicure or Pedicure: I don’t have nails127: East Coast or West Coast: I mean I feel like I kind of have to say east126: Your Birthday or Christmas: my birthday lol christmas is. not a thing. that I celebrate.125: Chocolate or Flowers: I’ve always thought flowers were the cutest, but I’ve also always wanted chocolate the most124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney I guess? I’ve been to neither123: Yankees or Red Sox: what are sports[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: really really fucked up and unfortunate121: George Bush: which george bush120: Gay Marriage: I don’t have specific thoughts on this it’s just a thing that should be a thing that I want to be a thing119: The presidential election: let’s not118: Abortion: I think I would have a hard time getting one personally, but I would never presume to speak for everyone.117: MySpace: sure is a website116: Reality TV: oh you mean the sitcomarillion?115: Parents: parents in general? Or my parents? My parents are the best most understanding loving parents and I’m really lucky to have them114: Back stabbers: “””””pals””””””113: Ebay: a party112: Facebook: I sure don’t use that consistently. I only really made my account to check in with my mom’s account.111: Work: should be FUN AND LIFE ENRICHING WOA110: My Neighbors: a okay109: Gas Prices: priced108: Designer Clothes: designed107: College: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH LETS NOT106: Sports: ew105: My family: I LOVE MY FAMILY104: The future: L E T S N O T[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: I just hugged Benjamin goodnight a moment ago102: Last time you ate: I had eggs for dinner101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile:100: Cried in front of someone: the real question is when is the last time I DIDNT cry in front of someone?99: Went to a movie theater: To see Hidden Figures the day after it came out!!98: Took a vacation: for a given value of “taken”...97: Swam in a pool: I honestly can’t remember96: Changed a diaper: Have I ever changed a diaper?95: Got my nails done: That one and only time at Lena’s birthday party where Elizabeth made me even though I didn’t want to.94: Went to a wedding: I can’t remember right now I’m too tired93: Broke a bone: 7th grade. Clarissa was there.92: Got a peircing: I got my ears pierced in fifth grade?91: Broke the law: I stole a firetruck to go to starbux90: Texted: 500 years ago in Vampire Scotland[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: u88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: I can’t think about this or I will cry87: The last movie I saw: Hidden Figures86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: going to Starbucks85: The thing im not looking forward to: calculus examinations84: People call me: Buttermay83: The most difficult thing to do is: answer all these questions in one go82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: what’s driving81: My zodiac sign is: capricorn!80: The first person i talked to today was: My cat?79: First time you had a crush: You already know this leave me alone78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: sometimes you and sometimes Benjamin but mostly JRR Tolkien77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: that time you said “I want an oreo” in class today76: Right now I am talking to: my own exhaustion75: What are you going to do when you grow up: gay marry74: I have/will get a job: what is this even asking73: Tomorrow: Thursday72: Today: Wednesday71: Next Summer: pre-college screaming70: Next Weekend: pre your birthday excitement!69: I have these pets: Sasha and Maya, the bestest cats68: The worst sound in the world: Dr. Propst67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Uzuki Kakinuma66: People that make you happy: lots of people, you know the people65: Last time I cried: :}64: My friends are: the actual absolute best friends in the world63: My computer is: trying its best62: My School: has a fire microwave GK GK WE ALL WE GOT61: My Car: what’s a car60: I lose all respect for people who: are in robotics59: The movie I cried at was: the singular movie???? who does this survey think I am?58: Your hair color is: dark brown!57: TV shows you watch: the Uzuki Files56: Favorite web site: mspadventures obviously55: Your dream vacation: to middle earth yes hello54: The worst pain I was ever in was: when I last gave birth to my uterus and almost died53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium rare?52: My room is: smallish, messish, comfy51: My favorite celebrity is: Yuna Kim50: Where would you like to be: in bed49: Do you want children: we’ve discussed this. I go back and forth48: Ever been in love: ye47: Who’s your best friend: this was literally already asked46: More guy friends or girl friends: what are guys45: One thing that makes you feel great is: not having to answer 200 questions in a row44: One person that you wish you could see right now: Uzuuuuuuuki43: Do you have a 5 year plan: nnnnnup42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: we started one at least?41: Have you pre-named your children: HAVE I EVER40: Last person I got mad at: horst39: I would like to move to: bed38: I wish I was a professional: bed. I mean artist[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: Reeses36: Vehicle: bus35: President: Guiney34: State visited: California sounds so cliche but. I mean.33: Cellphone provider: idc32: Athlete: Yuna Kim31: Actor: *mumbleslumbles*30: Actress: too many to choose from help29: Singer: selena gomez obvious28: Band: selena gomez and the slene27: Clothing store: my mom’s closet26: Grocery store: Publix25: TV show: Galavant, Stranger Things, Community in the earlier seasons...24: Movie: I watched Boy Meets Girl lately and it was Fantastic23: Website: fernferction.dert.nert22: Animal: snow leopard21: Theme park: harry potter. world.20: Holiday: Tubishvat19: Sport to watch: ice skating18: Sport to play: night tennis17: Magazine: Elves Weekly16: Book: let’s not open this can of worms I need to go to bed15: Day of the week: tuesday14: Beach: all beaches are great13: Concert attended: Midori performing the Mendelssohn left a really lasting impression on me forever12: Thing to cook: eggs11: Food: eggs10: Restaurant: Tuk Tuk Thai Loft 9: Radio station: GPB OBVIOUSLY8: Yankee candle scent: wat7: Perfume: no6: Flower: azalea5: Color: jewel tones4: Talk show host: Stephen Colbert3: Comedian: andrew hussie2: Dog breed: cats1: Did you answer all these truthfully? of course

I hope this satisfies u u hellspawn

#shovelthefries #ask meme thing #my brain is dead now goodnight #alkaline earth muses

1 note · View note

biofunmy · 5 years

Text

5 Rural Retreats Worthy of a Detour

There’s a town in Virginia called Rural Retreat, just off the old Lee Highway in Wythe County. The population: 1,500, give or take.

As a concept, getting away from it all has broader appeal.

This fall, Canyon Ranch — a pioneer in wellness long before it was a marketing bonanza — will open a dedicated wellness retreat among the redwoods of Woodside, Calif., to help pilgrims find a way to “a full rebirth of mind, body, spirit, and soul,” according to the company.

The less ambitious might just want a long weekend of digital detox in an isolated spot (like the Nimmo Bay Resort and its nine waterside cabins in British Columbia, reachable by helicopter), or to take a pretty drive (north along the Merritt Parkway, say, where New York fades away into Connecticut) to see the leaves change.

Far from neighbors and close to nature, these five really rural retreats are worth a detour.

From the family who changed the gastro-landscape with Blackberry Farm, this 5,200-acre compound aims to bring the same bucolic chic to another corner of the Great Smoky Mountains. There’s a common lodge — albeit up to Relais & Chateaux standards — and an array of houses built with local materials. But the most remote accommodations are out by the Firetower. (Originally built as a lookout tower in the 1950s, it’s now the anchor for a bar and restaurant, with flagstone terraces and antler chandeliers.)

The six Watchman Cabins were inspired by a 19th-century dogtrot-style house used by generations who had farmed this land in Tennessee; three of them are made of wood salvaged from the original two-story building. Each structure has a wood-burning stove, a wall of windows and a private deck overlooking unspoiled mountain terrain, along with a gigantic bathtub — for soaking after an 80-minute “inspirational hike” led by the resort’s wellness team.

Blackberry Mountain; from $1,045 (including breakfast, dinner, and some activities); 1041 The Loop Road, Walland, Tenn.

A couple of Brooklynites escaped to the Catskills in 2017, found a shabby 1962 motor lodge with a central A-frame, converted it into a 10-room hotel and injected some serious style into a one-stoplight town.

To support friends and other small businesses, the designer Megan Pflug and her artist husband J. Penry outfitted the guest rooms with vintage pieces from nearby antique shops like Chipped Tarnished and Torn: felt-and-leather headboards by Moses Nadel (a pal from the Rhode Island School of Design); bedding by Red Land Cotton that they discovered in Rhinebeck (about 40 miles south); and toiletries custom-made for them by Village Common, an apothecary in Catskill (a 25-minute drive away).

The A-frame now houses a communal kitchen and lush living room, where velvet chairs, terra cotta jugs and a collection of National Geographic back issues (found in the attic, along with the snowmobile posters that hang in some rooms) complement the handsome stone fireplace. A restaurant and wine bar are due to open in January.

Woodhouse Lodge; from about $275 (including continental breakfast); 3807 County Route 26, Greenville, N.Y.

Opened earlier this year by the art-collecting hoteliers Alex and Carrie Vik, Puro Vik is collection of 22 glass houses set among tall trees on steep hills in Chile’s Millahue Valley. Unique interiors vary according to artists who have caught the Viks’ imagination — the 19th-century Japanese painter Hiroshige, for instance, and the American blown-glass sculptor Dale Chihuly. Each house has an open-air bathtub built for two, from which the Chilean landscape is the art on display.

The North American autumn is late spring, approaching summer in South America, so everything’s in bloom — from the vineyards to the Andes. Though secluded in nature, the enclave is in walking distance from Vik Chile, the titanium-hooded sister hotel that’s bursting with eccentric design.

Puro Vik; from about $1100 (including meals, some wine and activities like horseback riding and paintball); Millahue s/n San Vicente Tagua Tagua, VI, Chile.

The Pig — at Bridge Place

The sixth in the passel of The Pig hotels in the English countryside — the owners call them “restaurants with rooms” — this five-acre Kent property revolves around the storied Bridge Place, a 17th-century mansion that masqueraded as a nightclub and playground for British rock ’n’ roll royalty in the 1970s.

That acid washed history is celebrated in the rooms and crannies in the nimbly renovated house. (See the framed vintage set lists, gold-painted beds, deep sofas and the smoke stained mantel piece.)

But those who’d like to be less dazed and confused should book one of the seven Hop Pickers’ Huts, which are set on stilts along a boardwalk by a tributary of the Nailbourne river. Each reclaimed-rustic hut has a wood-burning stove, a deep bathtub in the bedroom and things growing in planters on the porch.

Meals at all the Pigs are made with ingredients they grow, cure, forage and raise themselves, or source locally. The immaculate kitchen gardens, open to guests year-round, are there to prove it.

The Pig — at Bridge Place; from about $160; Bourne Park Road, Bridge, Canterbury, CT4 5BH, U.K.

Zuri Zanzibar Hotel & Resort

Nestled on a pristine beach in a big lagoon, this isolated idyll prides itself on being far from civilization. (Don’t stress: there is internet access.)

Fifty-five thatched bungalows and villas are scattered amid a kind of tropical park on the Indian Ocean, far enough apart to give guests privacy to meditate undisturbed. There are outdoor showers (naturally), baobab trees (known as the tree of life in these parts, with a bulbous trunk and root-like branches) and an infinity pool set back from the sea.

The sight of dhows — traditional wooden sailboats — bobbing on the horizon at sunset might help even the confirmed cynic define “mindfulness.”

For those needing an extra push, see the wooden yoga pavilion. There is a bar that spills onto the palm-studded white sand beach; a dining room festooned with African baskets; and meals flavored with lemongrass, turmeric and cardamom plucked from the hotel’s elaborate spice garden.

Zuri Zanzibar Hotel & Resort; from about $495 (including breakfast and dinner); Kendwa Beach, Zanzibar, Tanzania.

52 PLACES AND MUCH, MUCH MORE Follow our 52 Places traveler, Sebastian Modak, on Instagram as he travels the world, and discover more Travel coverage by following us on Twitter and Facebook. And sign up for our Travel Dispatch newsletter: Each week you’ll receive tips on traveling smarter, stories on hot destinations and access to photos from all over the world.

Sahred From Source link Travel

from WordPress http://bit.ly/2WwIYMX via IFTTT

#IFTTT #WordPress

0 notes

trendingnewsb · 7 years

Text

The coming of a fully automated society has led some Silicon Valley execs to extreme measures

Image: tristan quinn / bbc

Until a couple of years ago, Antonio Garcia Martinez was living the dream life: a tech-start up guy in Silicon Valley, surrounded by hip young millionaires and open plan offices.

He’d sold his online ad company to Twitter for a small fortune, and was working as a senior exec at Facebook (an experience he wrote up in his best-selling book, Chaos Monkeys). But at some point in 2015, he looked into the not-too-distant future and saw a very bleak world, one that was nothing like the polished utopia of connectivity and total information promised by his colleagues.

SEE ALSO: This is for you, Elon Musk: 5 threats to humanity greater than artificial intelligence

“Ive seen whats coming,” he told me when I visited him recently for BBC Twos Secrets of Silicon Valley. “And its a big self-driving truck thats about to run over this economy.”

Antonio is worried about where modern technology especially the twin forces of automation and artificial intelligence is taking us. He thinks its developing much faster than people outside Silicon Valley realize, and were on the cusp of another industrial revolution that will rip through the economy and destroy millions of jobs.

“Every time I meet someone from outside Silicon Valley a normy I can think of 10 companies that are working madly to put that person out of a job.”

Antonio estimates that within 30 years, half of us will be jobless. “Things could get ugly,” he told me. Its very scary, I think we could have some very dark days ahead of us.”

Think of the miners strike, but in every industry. People could be be driven to the streets, he fears, and in America at least, those people have guns. Law and order could break down, he says, maybe there will be some kind of violent revolution.

So, just passing 40, Antonio decided he needed some form of getaway, a place to escape if things turn sour. He now lives most of his life on a small Island called Orcas off the coast of Washington State, on five Walt Whitman acres that are only accessible by 4×4 via a bumpy dirt path that just about cuts through densely packed trees.

Instead of gleaming glass buildings and tastefully exposed brick, his new arrangements include: a tepee, a building plot, some guns, 5.56mm rounds, a compost toilet, a generator, wires, and soon-to-be-installed solar panels. It feels a million miles from his old stomping ground.

Former Facebook executive Antonio Garcia Martinez at his remote island hideout, ready in case automation causes social breakdown

Image: tristan quinn / bbc

Antonio isnt the only tech entrepreneur wondering if were clicking and swiping our way to dystopia. Reid Hoffman, co-founder of LinkedIn and influential investor, told The New Yorker earlier this year that around half of all Silicon Valley billionaires have some degree of apocalypse insurance. Pay-Pal co-founder and influential venture capitalist Peter Thiel recently bought a 477-acre bolthole in New Zealand, and became a kiwi national to boot.

Others are getting together in secret Facebook groups to discuss survivalism tactics: helicopters, bomb-proofing, gold. Its not all driven by fears about technology terrorism, natural disasters, and pandemics also feature but much is.

According to Antonio, many tech entrepreneurs in Silicon Valley are just as pessimistic as he is about the future theyre building. They dont say it in public of course, because whats the point. Its inevitable, they say; technology cant be stopped. Its a force of nature.

Even just a couple of years ago, this would have sounded like just another exhibit in the long-tradition of American dystopian paranoia. But the robot jobs apocalypse argument is starting to sound more reasonable by the day.

“Ive seen whats coming, and its a big self-driving truck thats about to run over this economy.”

The Economist, MIT Review, and Harvard Business Review have all recently published articles about how the economy is on the brink of transformation. President Obamas team suggested driverless cars would dispense with 3 million jobs pretty soon. According to the Bank of England, as many as 15 million British jobs might disappear within a generation.

I blame Hollywood for our lack of preparedness. Thanks to Blade Runner, Terminator, Ex Machina and the rest, artificial intelligence is now synonymous with sentient robots taking our jobs, our women, or our lives. Forget all that.

The A.I. revolution comes in the less sexy form of machine learning algorithms, which essentially means giving a machine lots of examples from which it can learn how to mimic human behaviour. It relies on data to improve, which creates a powerful feedback loop: more data fed in makes it smarter, which allows it to make more sense of any new data, which makes it smarter, and on and on and on.

Antonio thinks were entering into this sort of feedback loop. Over the last year or so, various forms of machine learning technology, teamed up with robotics, are making inroads into brick-laying, fruit-picking, burger-flipping, banking, trading, and driving. Even, heaven forbid, journalism and photography. Every year will bring more depressing news of things machines are better than us at.

New technology in the past has tended to increase markets and jobs. In the last industrial revolution, machinery freed up humans from physical tasks, allowing us to focus on mental ones. But this time, A.I. might have both covered.

Machine learning can, for example, already outperform the best doctors at diagnosing illness from CT scans, by running through millions of correct and thousands of incorrect examples real life doctors have produced over the years. Potentially no industry will be untouched.

Stefan Seltz-Axmacher, 27 year old founder of Starsky Robotics who are using $5 million of investment to develop self driving trucks.

Image: tristan quinn / bbc

The latest wave of machine learning is even smarter. It involves teaching machines to solve problems for themselves rather than just feeding them examples, by setting out rules and letting them get on with it. This has had particularly promising results when training neural networks (networks of artificial neurons that behave a little like real ones), using an approach called deep learning.

Recently, some neural network chatbots from Facebook were revealed to have gone rogue and invented their own language, before researchers shut them off. These simple chatbots were given a load of examples to spot basic patterns in human communication, and then conversed with themselves millions of times in order to figure out how negotiate with humans. What followed appeared as a stream of nonsense:

Bob: i can i i everything else.

Alice: balls have zero to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to

Bob: you i everything else . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Alice: balls have a ball to me to me to me to me to me to me to me

No human, with the possible exception of one Chuckle Brother, talks like this. But the failed experiment proved an important point. It seems these chatbots had calculated, within the parameters of their task, and without human intervention, a more efficient way of negotiating. This is the essence of deep learning: coming up with new ways to tackle problems that are beyond us.

In the same week, Elon Musk (who believes A.I. is a great threat to humanity) and Mark Zuckerberg (who does not) got into a public row about the risks of letting A.I. like this loose. Zuck said Musk was irresponsible. Musk said Zuck’s understanding of the subject was ‘limited.’ But this misses the point.

A.I. is not about to go Skynet on us. These chatbots hadnt developed some sinister secret language. But mega-efficiency or neural network problem solving might be just as disruptive. True, some of the recent fear about the coming age of the robots is probably overdone. Were not all about to be turfed out by bots. And weve always had disruption: people were warning about a jobless economy 50 years ago too. Weve always found new jobs, and new ways to entertain ourselves.

Around half of all Silicon Valley billionaires have some degree of apocalypse insurance.

Let’s not forget the wonders of A.I., such as dramatically improving how doctors diagnose, which will certainly save lives. It will stimulate all sorts of exciting new research areas. Replacing people with machines will have other benefits, too: driverless lorries would almost certainly be safer than exhausted driver-full ones.

The most likely scenario, reckons Antonio, is a gradual dislocation of the economy and an accompanying escalation of unrest. David Autor, an MIT economist, reckons we could be heading toward a bar-belled shaped economy.

There will be a few lucrative tech jobs at the top of the market, but many of the middling jobs trucking, manufacturing will wither away. They will be replaced by jobs that cant be automated, in the low paid service sector. Maybe there will be new jobs who imagined app developer would be a profession but will they be the same sort of jobs? Will they be in the same places, or clustered together in already well-off cities?

Drivers alone taxi or truckers make up around 17 percent of the U.S. adult work force. Taxis are often the first jobs for newly arrived, low-skilled migrants; trucking is one of the reasonably well-paid jobs for Americans that are not highly educated. What are they going to do instead? Are the cashier operators, and burger flippers going to retrain overnight, and become software developers and poets?

At the very least it seems economic and social disruption and turbulence as we muddle through are likely. The whole shape of the economy could change too. Some worry about the possibility of growing inequality between the tech-innovators who own all the tech assets and the rest of us. A world where you either work for the machines or the machines work for you.

What does that mean for peoples sense of fairness or agency or well-being? Or the ability of governments to raise taxes? The Silicon Valley survivalists fear that, if this happens, people will look for scapegoats. And they might decide that techies are it.

Jamie Bartlett outside Apples new $5 billion HQ

Image: Tristan quinn / bbc

One of the questions I asked as part of this programme is whether we are prepared. We dont even know how little we know; and our politicians seem to know even less. I found one mention of artificial intelligence in the 2017 party manifestos.

When asked recently about the future of artificial intelligence and automation, U.S. Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin replied that its not even on our radar screen and that hes not worried at all. A couple of months back his boss climbed into a huge rig wearing an I love trucks badge, just as nearly everyone in Silicon Valley agreed that the industry was about to be decimated.

Antonio told me in the race between technology and politics the technologists are winning. They will destroy jobs and economies before we even react to them.

Still, guns and solar panels? Survivalism seems like overkill to me. “What do you have?” Antonio asks, fiddling around with a tape measure outside his giant tepee. “Youre just betting that it doesnt happen.”

Before I can answer, he tells precisely me what I have: “You have hope, thats what you have. Hope. And hope is a shitty hedge.”

WATCH: This beautiful 32,000-square-foot mural was just unveiled in Rio