#Just watched the movie and tumblr never disappoints | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

astolfofo · 11 months

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deja vu, Jamis vu

BSD beast au x reader. Based on the end of the beast movie. AUTHORS NOTE: SO. ITS FINALLY DONE. ITS 4AM I AM ON IPAD TUMBLR AND UHHHH… I tried to edit this. but. TUMBLR WAS BEING AN ASS. and the two hours I spent editing this went down the drain. Mere words could not describe the grief I felt at 3:37 in the morning. I would have screamed if I weren’t so zombieified. Then, I tried to be paitent and edit it another time, but tumblr was like: haha no. so it didn’t save. I swear it’s not my fault if you have a stroke while reading this. I sacrificed my sleep for an entire week to do write this. Please give me some credit for my suffering. /lh

Also keep in mind. I have watched the DA movie and the beast movie a whopping total of 1 time. It’s probably very off from what I was trying to communicate, cause I legit have no clue what goes on in the light novels... spare me the slander.

Last thing, I tried something new with this one, so there’s weird ahh switches between first person and 2nd person in this. Idk how good it is, lmk if i should never do it again.

Tw: head injury, murder, blood, suicide, yeah I think that’s about it.

word count: 6.8k

To all the Chuuya enjoyers out there, I’m sorry for being a disappointment.

Tags: @redeemingmygloryintopurgatory

I’m wet.

Im standing outside his door, knocking as it rains outside, without an umbrella, cold, and of course, drenched.

Helplessly, I knock on his door, hoping for a response from him. I know it’s pointless, by now. I should cut him out of my life by now, I should… leave him. He’s not a good person, he’s part of the Port Mafia, for the love of god… I’m scared of him. He could crush me at any moment. Hell, he breaks into my house so frequently, and even though he’s done no harm… he could kill me at any moment. So why am I here? Shouldn’t I be relieved that he hasn’t shown up at my apartment for over a month now? I… just can’t…

Lightening splits the sky in half and the sound of thunder cracks in the air.

Your fist slides down the window pane of the door. It makes a terrible sound, and you wince in pain from the sting of the friction. You should just go home. It was obvious Chuuya wasn’t even home, he never was. And if he wasn’t even home, how would he even answer the door? You regret coming here in the first place, you didn’t even know why you chose to. Was it out of worry? Was it because you had to say something to him? You couldn’t remember by now, it was all on impulse.

Chuuya had broken into your apartment countless times. Still, no matter how many times you’d snap at him, how many times you’d emptily threaten him, or try to push him off the balcony, he still came back the next day, unphased. You couldn’t get rid of him, no matter how hard you tried. And after many days, you had learned to accept that someone could break into your home at any given moment.

And you had no knowledge of how he knew you, let alone knowledge of how he even got your house key. Or maybe he picked your lock. You couldn’t be sure and you really did not want to know.

Every day, you’d come back home from work, and Chuuya would be sitting on your couch, drinking your wine (much to your own distaste). You’d usually give him a dirty look, and he’d glare in return but you’d say nothing. You preferred not to talk to him, and Chuuya wouldn’t raise conversations by himself. He always sat in the corner of the room, observing… scrutinizing every move you made. On the rare occasions when you had managed to start a conversation with him, it was always painfully awkward.

You once remember asking him why he was here, what he wanted from you, and his true intentions. Chuuya looked at you in an amused manner and stared out the window.

“Why I’m doing this? You’ll find out yourself when the time is right.”

By the time you had woken up, he was always gone. As if he was never there in the first place. The only thing he’d leave was the wine glass he’d drink out of, and your clothes you had hauled back from the laundromat messily folded, in your drawer. Occasionally, when it warm out, he’d leave the window open. They were small actions. Meant to be noticed, but not returned.

The splashing of rain intensifies, as you stand on Chuuya’s porch. He’s not home. You can’t stand here forever. You have to get back home before it’s too late.

What a great way to spend my time off work.

But you wanted to try one last thing before you left. Maybe his door was unlocked the entire time. Although you would doubt it, it was worth a try. It was so stupid to do this, all of it was. But your curiosity is getting the best of you, and you desperately wanted answers. Answers only Chuuya could give.

So, you grip the door handle and twist the doorknob. Much to your shock, the mechanics of the door click, and the door opens.

Chuuya had left the door unlocked. He forgot to lock his own door. You take a step up, and stand in the doorway. The rain is still hitting your back, and you groan realizing that you’re dripping water onto the floor. Quickly, you step in and shut the door. You twist the lock, ensuring that no one else would come in.

You sure hope Chuuya wasn’t going to come home tonight. The thought of it made the hair on your neck stand slightly.

You take off your shoes which are drenched in water and stare in the mirror. You’re soaked to the bone. Your clothes are completely see-through. You’d need to change them. That could wait, though. If the rain stopped, you’d go home as soon as possible.

Okay. Quick in and out it is. I need to find my spare key, and I need to find what happened to him after the explosion in the sky that day. The one that happened on the top of the… port mafia building. You shudder. I wonder what happened. It was so bright that it looked as if the sky exploded for a second. The next thing you know, everything is back to normal… except it isn’t. A dead body is found at the bottom of the building.

Followed by that, I never saw Chuuya again, but many people that were close to me have been avoiding me. When asked why, they avoided my question. There isn’t a strong connection there, but I think… that all of these events are connected somehow. Chuuya never appears again, and the fact he works for the Port Mafia, definetly does not help.

Additionally, the Armed Dective Agency sent me a letter to be wary of Chuuya. With no additional information. There’s something going on here. Something is wrong. Something terribily wrong.

And I’m scared.

Apprehensively, you take several steps inside the house. You keep getting the feeling that you may get caught. But you don’t hear anything at the door. It’s a painful paranoia.

You inhale and exhale.

I’ll start looking for hints first. I don’t need an answer right away. One hint will be able to give me lots. I’ll start from his room, that’s where people are most likely to hide things.

You walk as quickly as possible across the empty corridor in the house. His house is eerily empty. There isn’t much in it, just a lot of furniture, a shelf of wine, messy papers and a few books placed sparsely across the rooms.

You walk up the stairs, which slightly creaks under your weight. You try your best to ignore any noises and try to stay focused. As you reach the top of the stairs, you see his bedroom, which is the first room at the end of the staircase.

You walk towards the room, you open the door and look around. Chuuya’s room is surprisingly fuller than the rest of the house. There is a dresser, with several items stacked on top of it. It has drawers, which you assume were full. His closet was also filled with clothes, with various hats on the shelf above in his closet.

Chuuya’s bed was neatly made, giving the impression that he had not been home in weeks. Unoccupied, cold, and abandoned. Yet you felt a temptation to lie in it either way. Your eyes dart to the dresser again, and you look at the various items spread out on it. None of these are of much use to you. Besides the gun that seemed unused.

Your hands move to the drawers and you begin to search them. In the first one, there was nothing. Just a bunch of stationery, and papers, some of which had blood on them. You shudder in disgust and move on.

You struggled to pull the second drawer. After a moment, it slides open and you look at the inside contents. You stare at it, wondering if you open it. There is no address on it, and it isn’t sealed.

You have a bad feeling about this, but your hands move faster than your brain. You pull out the piece of paper and read its contents.

The letter is addressed to you. It doesn’t include much. Just A single sentence that holds an address.

And then it hits you.

Chuuya had been planning this for a long time. He had purposely left the door unlocked, left his house empty, and left you because he knew you would try to find him one day.

It infuriates you more than you expect. But you can’t stop here. You’ll go to a specific location.

Just to be sure, you look in the third drawer, you see your spare key, as well as a lock cutter.

Its dark now. It’s still pouring. You have no choice to stay here for tonight. Begrudgingly, you curse yourself for dragging yourself into this. Still, you were in too deep to back out now. Whatever happens, will happen.

You wake up.

You're lying on Chuuya's bed, in his clothes, begrudgingly. Your own clothes are discarded onto the floor, dried during the time you had been asleep. Still, you don't exactly feel like changing into them. It felt too gross to wear them.

You shake your head. Now's not the time to be thinking about that. You sit up, and stretch your arms. Then, you walk towards the desk again, and look at the address. You take note of the address, and take your spare key. Before you go, you flip over the paper, ensuring that you didn't miss anything. There's another sentence scribbled on the top of the paper.

I know you're reading this. You want to know why I'm gone, and why I did this. The address that is provided will help you, but it will not give you the answer, nor will I be there.

…What?

You read the sentence over and over again. The words sink in, making you feel conflicted. You knew you were getting yourself into a certain kind of danger by doing this, but you didn't expect it to be this risky. Hell, you didn't even know where the man was now, and not to mention… the location…

You look at the location again.

It's on the street where the explosion happened. And you're no fool. If it was on that street, it meant it was that building. There were no other possibilities. You doubt it would be any other one of those tall skyscrapers, anyways. The one where the explosion happened was the only building Chuuya had any affiliations with.

Which was going to be incredibly difficult to get into. Let alone, to the top floor. You'd be dead even trying to set foot into the door. It wasn't worth your life for this. You should forget about it and go back home.

You look through the paper again, hoping there might be something more to help you. Sighing, you came back with nothing. I suppose I really have to go through with this, don't I? There's no turning back.

The walk to the Port Mafia's building was rather short, if you were being completely honest. It was located in the heart of Yokohama, and was one of the tallest buildings there, if that told you anything.

You stand outside the building, as the apprehension and fear build up inside you. You had never felt as much of a need to run from anything, as much as you did now. The doors, despite their grandeur size, and large glass design, looked uninviting. Almost like doors to a bank vault; the kind of doors that told you, you wouldn't be able to get out, as soon as you stepped in. And from various things people has told you throughout the years, the Port Mafia keeps people it's had come into contact with. It's more powerful beyond belief.

It doesn't need to control you. You'll be forced into being pliant for them, simply by fear. No one can betray them. Death is almost a guarantee if you do.

And recently, they had also become violent as well. You might as well be walking yourself into a death wish.

But your feet remained rooted into the ground, and part of you remains determined to see this through. So you take a deep breath and walk into the building.

You try to remain calm as you push through the doors, into the lobby. You pray Hou won't be swatted with bullets as soon as you enter, but much to your own surprise, there's no one in the lobby. It's completely empty.

It doesn't feel right. You wonder if what happened. Well, it's not your business anyways. You couldn't care less. You just needed to find whoever Chuuya's office is and-

"Who are you?"

shit. you curse under your breath. "I-I'm," you turn around to face the person talking g to you. As soon as you do this, the man's eyes widen, and you acknowledge away slightly. "Sorry… um… do you know where Chuuya is?"

You had never felt so idiotic and out of place in your life. You can physically feel your heart pounding inside your chest, as you pray you don't look too suspicious. You can't mess up here. Though the man you are currently talking to isn't holding any firearm. That may just as well mean he has even worse methods to kill you off.

"He's not here."

of course, he isn't. You think to yourself. He wrote that in his own letter, or whatever you call it.

"He's been arrested." The man looks you directly into your eyes, and as on instinct, you look down, too scared to actually look at him. A few moments pass in silence.

"Can you… perhaps tell me why?"

"After the previous Port Mafia executive committed suicide, Chuuya was forced to lead the Port Mafia. He hated the job greatly, and he eventually…" He stops himself.

"Go on." You mutter.

The man tilts his head and looks at you again. "Are you sure? If you want to see him… it's better just to see for yourself." He stops for a second.

"No… please tell me. Tell me everything that you possibly can."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Fine then. If you insist."

"Chuuya lost his control over himself. He slowly became more, deranged, if you will, as time went on. After the old executive killed himself, Chuuya had no one left. Or at least, that's what we saw. His orders became more and more irrational, often just resorting to killing everything, and slowly, he eventually broke. He went on a rampage, as you've probably seen, Yokohama is not safe with him around. He almost destroyed Yokohama in its entirety, and it took serveral organizations to stop him. I don't know the exact details after that. He remains locked up underground."

You feel as if you had been doused under cold water. You didn't only have your question answered, but that also explained several other things as well. You try to recollect your thoughts while figuring out what to do next.

"By the way, you look familiar."

"How so?"

"I don't know, to he honest. You look like someone who used to work here. Maybe my mind js tricking me, though. You look too weak to be here."

"Yeah," you force out an awkward laugh, "I could never work here for the life of me."

"Figures."

another awkward pause, as you stare at the man.

"I assume you need Chuuya's location, don't you?"

You nod.

"Here." He hands you a piece of paper, with an address messily scrawled onto it. "Although, I don't recommend going to see him, tell the guards you are a relative of his. Hopefully, it will convince them enough to let you in. Though, if you want, I'm sure you can attempt to knock the guards out. Chuuya's well… very restrained so he won't hurt you."

"Ah… thank you."

"Don't mention it."

You bow and leave.

"Hey wait-" the man calls out, his voice echoing through the empty lobby. He seems hesitant to ask something. You stop and turn around. "Yeah?"

He looks down, and awkwardly avoids eye contact for a second. It's at this moment you realize he's a man with short, white, hair, as well thick bangs that were cut into a slant. He’s rather short, and he’s wearing a long jacket.

He looks… familiar. I wonder why.

“What’s your name?”

You stare at him for another moment before answering. “It’s Y/N.”

You could have sworn you had seen a face of surprise from him for a second, but it could have been your imagination because the next instant you blink, it’s gone. “I see,” he says slowly. “Be careful then. He’s not the same as what you may remember.”

As… I remember? What….

“Nevermind. Forget I said anything. Just go to the address, and everything will make sense.”

“Hey wait-”

He’s already turned his back and left on you. You’re left with so many more questions than you started off with, and dread creeps up you again. There was a warning tone in his voice, almost as if telling you to do this was a terrible idea. That you were going to be landing yourself in scalding hot water, and you wouldn’t be able to get out. You knew the risks from the start, but…

You quickly unfold the paper, and look for the address. Once again, the address is written in the center of the paper. You carefully look around for any other writing on the paper.

It’s completely white. Blank. Except for one sentence on the bottom: It’s never too late to back out.

And you stare at it, and think about the several cryptic warnings you received from this man. So… you’re telling me, that after that explosion happened in the sky… a dead body, the previous executive was found. Then shortly after that, Chuuya became the executive of the Mafia. He hated it. But he had no choice and was left alone to do it. Eventually, he lost his sanity and mind and the Mafia… I guess? Because very corrupt, violent, and unsafe. It took many people to stop him, and how he was arrested in an underground cell. At this address.

It’s clear he’s cutting something out. He said to be careful. Of course, if Chuuya has lost his mind, I need to do that. But he empathized that I should be wary of him. Also, he said I looked familiar, and he also looks familiar to me. He mentioned something about… me remembering? Have I known Chuuya for longer?

But he also said that only Chuuya has the answers to all my questions. So that means in other words, he knows what happened during the explosion, he knows that Chuuya has been breaking into my apartment and he knows more about my entire predicament now, than I do.

Just… who exactly is he? How and why?

You cut yourself off from those thoughts.

Ugh. this is ending up being so much more complicated than it was supposed to be. You thought in bitterness. So basically, I’ll go to the address, and get the answers to my questions. Sounds simple enough. There’s no need to overthink this. Maybe i’m just being paranoid. What’s the worst that could happen?

Well, a lot. But I’ll just ignore that for now.

You turn around and walk towards the door again. To be honest, you don’t want to know what might happen once you see him. You were already nervous from the implications the man had told you moments ago, and you were coming to realize there were some things that you noticed when you were in Chuuya’s house. Things that you maybe weren’t supposed to know about or see.

In the bottom of the drawer… there were documents. Documentation of everything that happened on the day of the explosion. A bright light illumined the sky, followed by the dead body found; the previous port mafia’s executive; Dazai Osamu. The two closest people to the explosion were a member of the port mafia, Atsushi Nakajima, and a member in the training of the Armed Detective Agency, Ryounouske Akuwatagawa. They are believed to be the cause of the explosion.

No one knows the exact events inside the Port Mafia on that day, except for the individuals involved in the actions that happened. According to the Armed Detective Agency, Akuwtagawa had barged into the Port Mafia to challenge the Port Mafia Executive. He accordingly, fought many individuals in the Port Mafia, a body count is yet to be determined. Data from thereon forth is unknown until the individuals reach the top of the building, where the most notorious event stated above occurred.

Additionally, after thorough examination of the body of the previous Port Mafia Excuetive, it can be concluded that he had committed suicide by jumping off the building.

The document ends there, and the paper is ripped in half.

It felt like every meter you travelled towards that location was walking towards a terrible, yet inevitable fate. The drive there, dragged on and on as if mocking you for your choices. You find yourself counting down the seconds until you can arrive at the location given.

Oh, how you wished you had stayed at home instead of seeking him out. If only your morbid curiosity hadn’t gotten the best of you.

You’ve lost track of the time you’ve spent on the train, only waiting for the loudspeaker to announce your stop. The location you figure you were given led you to a rather remote area, likely in the outskirts of Yokohama. If not further. The man had told you he was locked underground, completely isolated from everything.

You found that part the most unsettling. If they needed that many security measures to keep him in place, it was likely he was completely gone. Gone beyond saving. If he had succumbed that much to his own grief and madness, it would be a question of whether he would still remember you or not.

You look out the window again, enjoying your last moments of peace.

This is the eerie calm before the storm, isn’t it?

Moments after you think that, the train halts to a stop at the last station in Yokohama, and you get off. Your heart is pounding wildly in your chest, and you’re not sure if you can stop it.

You try your best to remain calm. Force yourself to keep going. He’s special to you. You can’t lose him, even if you hate him. You need him. He’s the only one who still cares.

And above all, he’s the only one who remembers you at all.

And so, you go. You take all the correct turns. You try to walk as quickly as you could, to arrive at the destination. You keep going, and going and going until…

You’re here.

It’s one of the better buildings on the outskirts of the city, yet… it looks incredibly unsettling. It’s a mundane building, one made from standard concrete, and glass. Yet. As you stand so close, you see cracks in the building. The door is partially cracked as well.

Well, I’m here already. Whatever happens, happens. I may die in there, still, before I die, I have to know the answer. The answer… why can’t I remember? Chuuya. I want him to tell me, what he did to me. Why he came to my apartment every day. Why he’s… he’s…..

Oh. My hands are shaking. Surely I cannot be this terrified can I? I will do this even if it kills me.

You pull the door open and enter the building. The piece of paper told you that it was on the lowest floor. Your footsteps echo in the empty building, and it feels creepy no one is here.

Huh. Gives some Deja Vu, doesn’t it?

You proceed towards the elevator at the end of the hall, and press the down button. Almost instantly, the elevator makes a “ding” noise, and the doors open. You quickly step in and look for the lowest button. With a deep breath, you push the button, and the door closes.

You stare at your face in the mirror. You look terrible. Pale and your hair is completely dishevelled and a mess. If you didn’t know any better, you’d look like you were sick. You had been extremely anxious about this for an entire day, after all.

The elevator doors once again slide open.

Here goes nothing. You sigh. I’d better hear you talking today, Chuuya. You have a lot to tell me. And you’d better tell me it all.

You step outside the elevator. There’s nothing. Absolutely nothing, and no one here. The halls are empty, and the strong scent of stale air, combined with dust fills your nostrils. You feel like coughing for a second, but you hold yourself back. You didn’t want to make any noise to give away your presence. You take another step.

Despite what the man said, it was clear that there was no one else there. No prison guards, no other cells inside. It was clearly a floor made, simply to detain one individual in particular. Isolated, and secure enough that they’d never be able to escape. Deep enough underground that they’d never even know where they were.

Your footsteps tap loudly against the concrete and echo everywhere around. As you walk down the hall, the lightbulbs behind you light up. The man had told you it was in the deepest part of the prison. However, what he didn’t account for, was that you had no idea how this floor was organized.

Not to mention it was starting to get creepy really quickly. Although there should be nothing else in here, you were starting to get the sense that there was something dangerous that might lurk in the air. You tell yourself it’s probably just the dark and your own fatigue and you were imagining things.

The emptiness of the entire building creeps you out. It’s eerie. It feels like you were lead into the wrong location, and you were walking into a dead end. It almost felt almost like a trap that you had been lured into. And every second, the floor grew significantly more eerie. The lack of any presence and the darkness despite the very few lightbulbs attached to the ceiling enhanced that.

I should be getting close now… right?

You were. You could see a light at the end of this hallway, which was illuminated with an orange light. It must have been where Chuuya’s cell was. There was no other place as illuminated as this, and there was no reason for it to be.

You had gotten this far. There was no reason you should be stopping now. Should you? The answer… you had always looked for, you could get it now.

Chuuya always hid something from me. He has never answered once, one of my questions. He’s never told me why he comes to my house every day, he never told me once why he was gone. For as long as I remember, I’ve been coming back from my job, and seeing him there. But one day, he disappeared. No reason why, no reason of how. He just did.

But apart from my job, there’s another piece missing to this puzzle. There’s something else that I’ve always wanted to ask him besides why he’s gone missing, and the explosion which I already had the answer to. He knows me, better than I know myself.

What was I before all of this happened?

I know there’s something before all of this. It just doesn’t add up. The man I saw in the mafia looked familiar. The building itself was in a place that I had felt I had been in at some time before. There’s deja vu there.

But when I first walked into the apartment, the first day before I saw Chuuya, I had jamais vu. A familiar place, that I didn’t know. And consequently, I couldn’t remember much before that. So what-

“I know you’re there, (Y/N). You’ve been standing there for quite some time.”

Shit.

Your thoughts are cut off by that voice you instantly knew. Chuuya was indeed, there. But his voice didn’t sound the same as you remember. There wasn’t any of the snarkiness, or egotistical attitude in his voice anymore. Instead, his voice was laced with aggression, and a malice that made you hesitant to even come forward.

You open your jaw to speak, but almost if Chuuya knew, he spoke before you. “I know what you’re thinking. You want to know why I left you, don’t you? I assume that someone has already told you about what happened on the day I stopped seeing you, and I’m sure you know all about the aftermath of that.”

You feel like you are doused in cold water. How did he know? Did he plan all of this. You want to open your mouth and tell him to slow down, but he continues, anyways.

“And you’ve been having deja vu for several days, too. You feel like you know the Port Mafia building, you feel like you recognize everything you saw, including my home.” Silence, as he pauses for a second. “So why don’t you… come and face me, and I’ll tell you what actually happened?”

“Chuuya-”

You hear no response. You sigh and walk towards his cell. You’re not ready to hear this, and you’re not sure you can face him.

He’s different. He’s not the same anymore. He sounds more violent, his composture is much less controlled than it was before. What…what happened to him?

And then you approach his cell. He’s got cuts everywhere, specifically the gash on his face. You instantly feel the need to run away, to get this image out of your mind. He was thin, his face was significantly more gaunt than it had been the last time you had seen him. And the most unsettling thing was how he was kept. Both arms were harshly chained to the ceiling and the wall. The chains were wrapped around his arms several times (you would assume most likely to stop him from breaking free), and they cut deeply into his arm. Then his body was also tightly bound to a chair, and his legs were bound to the chair’s legs. His body you noticed, was bound so tightly to the chair, you wonder how he still managed to breathe. Still, nothing would be as unnerving as to look at as his eyes. They were not dull per say, but they were empty. Not in the hopeless kind of way, but in the tormented sense that he had been tortured so badly that it would be unlikely he ever saw the light of day again.

Truly, he was a lost cause. You could only describe him as tortured and traumatized, as you couldn’t glance at him a second time.

“Hey. You done oogling yet?” His voice came out as almost an aggressive snarl, and you instantly look away. “Look at me.” You do your best to look at him, while trying to avoid looking at any part of his face in particular. You didn’t want to see it. Truly, you don’t want to look at him in any way whatsoever. So you settle on looking at a corner of his hair. The only thing that was still familiar to you.

“I said look at me. In the eyes.”

You don’t want to.

Chuuya sighs. “I know I probably look terrible right now, but please. Just do it. For the sake of me. Just look me in the eyes. It’ll probably be the last time I see someone for a long time.” He draws that last sentence out for longer than you expect, and you start to feel uneasy again, but you try to ignore that and ask him the question. The question you had been dying to ask for an undefined amount of time.

It’s a second before you can really bring yourself to ask it. “Chuuya. Where are my memories?” your mouth tightens… “Who am I? Why did you… do this?” You take a deep breath, to stop yourself. “Just tell me. Please.”

There’s another stretched-out pause before Chuuya responds again. “I knocked you out.”

“You… you what? N-no… you’re kidding right?” Your voice wavers slightly, before seeing Chuuya’s face again. He’s dead serious. “Why would you do this?”

“You were in danger. I couldn’t help it, alright?” He yelled, and you flinch. He takes a deep breath in again, slightly more calm, and continues. “Let me explain.”

“You were part of the Port Mafia, (Y/N). In fact, you, me, and Dazai used to be assigned to the same team all the time. Of course, it was always despicable working with Dazai. He never told us about anything, instead only telling us what to do, while he schemed about whatever he damn chose.”

“You can’t be serious…”

He scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Do you think I’m joking right now? That I’m making a story and pulling it out of thin air for fun? You wanted answers. I’m giving them to you right now.”

“Right. Sorry.”

Chuuya ignores you and goes on. “Out of the three of us, you were always the weakest one, without a strong ability, nor any supportive abilities, however, we always had to drag you along anyways. To every mission gaven to us. Dazai would always make a plan, and we’d have to follow through. And if any of us ever messed up, we’d always get into trouble.”

“I bet you wanted to know how you got that bruise on your arm, that’s never healed, huh? Well, it’s cause you messed up one of the missions, and one of the higher-ups broke your arm. It never completely healed, and it was a warning that you should never mess up again.”

You look at your arm, where the ugly purple bruise marred your skin. It had never healed, and you couldn’t do anything heavy with it. Although it made a lot more sense than the reasoning you were told, you found this all too unreal. There was no way you were a mafia member. You were always weak. There would have been no reason for you to join. But even past the static buzzing in your brain, you could make out everything he said feeling familiar. As if your memories were just behind a wall you couldn’t break through.

“Still, I wasn’t able to do anything at the time, and Dazai didn’t care too much for you. The damned bastard treated everything and everyone like a chess piece, and played them as he wished. You were constantly treated as the runt of the three of us, and often used as the punching bag when missions weren’t successful. But, over time, you managed to become more ‘competent’ and not ‘drag us back’.”

“Of course, that all was, until the Dragon Head incident. All you need to know was that it was a bloody fight, and most of us were sent to deal with it.”

“As always, we were sent to deal with the mess. Dazai and I were obviously vanguards during the entire ordeal, and you were backup. When we had found the person behind it all, I used my own ability to kill him. We had won, but just barely.”

“You had managed to find the location of the man first, but you didn’t notify us. This person later told us that you actually refused to tell us. Ultimately, you botched Dazai’s plan, and almost destroyed an entire city, because you didn’t follow his instructions. Of course, Dazai was disappointed, even if he didn’t say anything. He essentially dismissed you, and planned to go back, and remove you from the Port Mafia. But, I didn’t want that.”

“So after a very long fight with Dazai, I managed to make a compromise with him. You would not be killed for betraying the Port Mafia, however, you wouldn’t be allowed to go back. But if I told you this, you would have rather accepted death, since the Port Mafia is the only thing you have ever known. You couldn’t go into the real world since you have no identity there.”

“So later that night, while you had looked like you were at least, partially asleep. I had no choice… but to give you severe head trauma, which would make you lose all your memories.”

There’s an unspoken silence between the two of you. You had always been told that your head was fragile. When you tried to think about your childhood or teenage years, your head would fill with static and it would hurt. Never had you ever expected it to be… this…

“You must be shocked. You probably think I’m not being serious, or that I’m joking. Well, I’m not done yet.”

“You were in a coma for years after that. For about two or three years, if I remember correctly. I had to make sure that you wouldn’t remember anything, so I bashed your head, pretty hard against the concrete. I brought you to the hospital after that, and told them that you had been injured badly, because you had attempted suicide. A balatant lie, but I couldn’t tell the doctors any more than that, otherwise I would have been detained.”

“For several years, you stayed in the hospital, completely unconscious. I’d visit you everyday, and see if you would wake up. At one point I had considered just giving up. But eventually, you did wake up. But, you didn’t have an identity in the real world, let alone education, or anything that would let you survive. When you were discharged, I paid a company to forge you a fake identity, which is what you live by now.”

“I’ve watched over you for so long, (Y/N). You once asked me what you needed to be protected from. I didn’t answer that question because I didn’t think it was the right time to let you know the truth. Alas, you’ve come searching for the truth yourself. The Port Mafia was after you for a long time. I had to constantly monitor you, you were constantly on my mind every day. And even when you were discharged from the hospital, I still had to watch over you while you slept. They wanted to kill you. I didn’t want you dead, in fact how could I?” Chuuya laughs in bitterness. “I loved you for a long time. I did all of this to make sure I’d be able to see you happy, for once. And you were. You moved into society rather nicely. You were simply not meant to be part of the Mafia, despite the potential in your ability.”

“You have the gun I left on my desk, didn’t you? You knew you had to take it because you might have been in danger.”

“Chuuya… stop.” You’re still in shock, but you know you’ll never properly remember any of your memories now. You can only trust him. Whatever he says, you have to believe. He’s not lying. He never was lying.

“That was Dazai’s gun. The gun he left before he killed himself.”

“No… please. Stop. Chuuya. Don’t do this please…”

He chuckles. “I have no merit in my future, I am simply left to rot and die here. You wouldn’t understand, (Y/N). I spent so much time in my life for you, that it would have been simpler to just kill you. But I can’t do that.”

“But in a life where you don’t return any of that to me isn’t worth living either…”

“CHUUYA,” you scream. “Stop this. Don’t…”

“So shoot me please. I know you’re dying to do it. You brought the gun with you, you wanted to kill me. I know you do. Why? You’ve reached into your pockets serveral times while I was telling your past. My life is hopeless, completely doomed. I’ve lost everything I once had, except for you. And I can’t even see you now.”

“So kill me. Put me out of my own misery.”

He smiles, in a twisted sort of way, expecting you to shoot.

“You won’t regret it.”

And it’s true. You were planning on killing him, but you don’t want to now. But if what he said was true, you were also ruthless as he was. You had to make a choice, quickly.

Your hands move faster than your mind, and you can’t stop yourself.

You shoot once. Once at his chest.

You can’t bear to see what you did.

But you also can’t see control what you were going to do next. You hear another gunshot being fired, and you weren’t if it was from yourself, or maybe someone else in the floor.

Your vision stops and you feel yourself falling to the ground.

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hee0soo · 1 year

Text

You´re my favorite

Jung Wooyoung x bestfriend!reader

Summary: Feeling replaced is never a good thing

Disclaimer: this fic is written and copyrighted by ©hee0soo on tumblr. do not rewrite or repost on any other plattforms without my permission.

To say you were mad wouldn´t even begin to cover what you were feeling at the moment.

It had been a while since you and Wooyoung had hung out but today was your weekly movie night, something that had been tradition since the two of you were teenagers.

A tradition that had apparently been forgotten by the troublemaker you called your best friend.

Ever since the two of you had started collage, the boy had become more and more distant. Making friends left and right while you´d rather stay at home listen to music or play video games.

The longer you watched him socialize, the harder it became to stay close to him.

It wasn´t that you were mad at him for getting to know new people but watching him go out with his new friends and getting left on read let your anger slowly simmer to the surface.

Yeosang and San were nice, there was no arguing about that but the longer you watched, the stronger the trio grew together. Without you.

Your movie nights were the only thing that stayed consistent throughout the semester.

Up until now at least!

By now, the Pizza you had ordered went cold and the movie you had started was almost over. The clock on your microwave showed 11:52 p.m, glowing in a bright red color as the rest of the room stayed dark. Save from the illuminating light the TV gave off.

Your phone stayed silent as the dozens of messages you had left Wooyoung had gone straight to the voicemail, texts had been left unanswered and your mood dropped further that it already had.

If only you hadn´t gone on instagram earlier!

Then you wouldn´t have seen the story he posted while getting drunk with his two new friends at someone’s house party.

Exactly what you needed now!

Deciding to try your luck again, you picked you phone up and pressed the call button one last time.

It rung a few times and you already thought of hanging up when Wooyoung finally managed to pick up the call.

“WHAT DO YOU WANT Y/N?” he yelled rudely over the music and you had to pull the phone away from your ear because of the sudden noise.

“What do you mean Wooyoung, It´s Friday! Like in Movie-Night-Friday! Why aren’t you here? Or if you were planning to go somewhere with the boys then why didn´t you cancel?”

The disappointment was evident in your voice and Wooyoung would have to be very gone not to hear it, even over the phone.

He let out a suffering sigh before answering in a low voice.

“Come on bunny. Don´t tell me you are seriously mad about it! We have these nights every week and Yeosangie invited me and Sannie to go to this party with him. It´s no big deal!”

You couldn´t believe what you heard. Not a big deal? Did this really mean so little to him?

“No big deal? Wooyoung I’ve been waiting for the better part of the evening for you to call and cancel or at least some kind of text that you wouldn’t show up but instead I get nothing. You wouldn´t even answer my messages! And what’s worse is that I find out you went to go to a party through your instagram story? That´s fucked up!”

It was obvious to you that this conversation annoyed the other. The way he huffed was a dead give away!

“Sorry but it was a last minute thing. I´ll call next time okay? But I got to go now, talk to you later! Bye.”

With that call ended. You were stunned to silence. Did he really just hang up on you?

You lowered your hand slowly from your ear before starting to clean up the living room. Wooyoung could really be an idiot if he wanted to be!

Anger started to consume you as the Pizza box got placed on the kitchen counter and the soju bottles vanished in the fridge. Neither got touched even once!

Your phone lit up again but this time it was you who left him on read.

Wooyoung had sent a message, hoping to placate you at least a little.

What were you supposed to answer? It´s fine? Absolutely not!

Don’t be mad bunny :( send 00:04 a.m

Instead of answering, you connected the phone with the charger and got ready for bed. You knew you weren’t going to sleep but wallowing in self-pity wouldn´t get you anywhere either.

Tomorrow was another day and since it was a weekend you could finally sleep in and rest for a while.

----------

The next day you got rudely woken up by a pillow to the face.

“WHAT THE HELL?” you groaned and sat up to look at the offender.

What you didn´t expect was to see Wooyoung sitting on the foot of your bed. The boy had gotten a key to your apartment almost the minute you had signed the contract for the apartment and it wasn´t the first time the boy had let himself in either.

But you had expected for him to sleep in today and cure his hangover. Apparently that wasn´t the case!

“What are you doing here Woo?” you sighed, letting yourself fall back into the pillow to try and go back to sleep.

“You weren´t answering your phone!” he whined loudly.

“Oh so now not answering is a problem? Are you kidding me?”

Rolling your eyes hard before turning your back to the boy sitting on your blanket did not make him go away as you hoped!

Wooyoung realized that you were truly mad at him when you didn´t budge at his insistent shaking on your shoulder.

“Seriously Wooyoung, go away! That´s what you seem to do a lot recently!”

“Are you seriously still mad about yesterday? I told you why I didn´t call!” he reasoned, brushing his hair out of his eyes.

“No you didn´t! You said it was a last minute thing but not why you didn´t call and you can shove your apology up your ass by the way! If you could even call it one! Go back to Yeosang and San okay. They are probably waiting for you somewhere!”

You looked back at him. It seemed that he still didn´t understand what was actually bothering you and just looking at his face made the anger and hurt come back full force.

“Why are you so mad at me? I´m sorry that I didn´t call, it was a dick move from me but we´ve done these movie night every week since we were teenagers. Is it really so bad that I missed one?”

“It is to me! In case you haven´t noticed but these movie nights have been the only chance for us to hang out recently since you always hang out with the boys. Which is fine by me and it would have been fine if you had just called and talked to me instead of just not showing up and ignoring me!”

Something in the boy clicked. He didn´t even realize that he hadn´t been hanging out with you! Has it really been that long? The boy couldn´t even remember the last time he had seen you longer then for a few minutes in between classes.

Guilt crept up on him as he looked at you. As much as you wanted to hide from him that you were hurt, he knew you to well for that!

You had always been someone he could come to when something was bothering him, so for you to turn your back and hide behind a wall of blankets and silence pained him greatly.

“Y/n… I’m sorry. I didn´t realize it has been that long. Can you look at me please?”

You had to force down a sob, desperately trying to hide the tears threatening to leave your eyes.

Wooyoung saw your struggle immediately. He laid down behind you, wrapping his arms around your midsection.

“Just tell me if you want to hang out with them instead of me. I get it honestly I do, but being forgotten without a word of why hurts okay?!”

“Oh bunny I could never forget about you! You´re my best friend. Don´t doubt that! I love Sangie and Sannie but no matter how much I hang out with them, you will always be my favorite person!”

You turned towards him, hiding your face in his chest while letting the tears run freely.

It felt amazing to hear those words but no matter what he said, forgiving him was not something you could do.

At least not right now…

#ateez #jung wooyoung x reader #ateez jung wooyoung x reader #jung wooyoung imagine #wooyoung x you #wooyoung x y/n #wooyoung x reader #ateez fluff #ateez fanfic #kpop writing #ateez x reader #kpop x reader #ateez wooyoung #jung wooyoung #wooyoung

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satugoo · 6 months

Text

tutorial

Ieriri Shoko

pairing : shoko ieriri x Fem!Reader

contents : just some cute fluff, squint to see some angst, shoko just needed some help and confidence.

summary : “shoko ieriri is a bad kisser and knows it. reader gives them a tutorial on kissing.”

authors note : I hope you all enjoy this, i'm gonna try and post a lot of things, next fanfic will be on both Tumblr and my ao3, its gonna be a college/roommate shoko au its going to be slow burn 🤭

ao3 profile , twitter , discord

you and shoko were having a home date at your apartment, watching movies and also baking some cookies since it was Christmas season and of course you two wanted to bake, making cute designs with shapes but also making some yourself, with the little tool you two had.

you put them in the oven once you two were done with the shapes and put your head on shoko's shoulder "so I wanted to talk to you about something.." you asked shoko while putting your hands around her, hugging her from behind "what did you wanna talk about babe?" she asked as she grabs your hands and turns around to put her arms around your waist.

"I've noticed you never kiss me, like ever.." you said with a sad pout on your face as you put your arms around shoko's neck, she looks down at your lips and back up your eyes "well....." she trailed off, she has always known she was a bad kisser or better said never was properly teached on how to actually kiss someone. You raised an eyebrow and looked at her with a questionable look, before she continued speaking "I've never been teached on how to actually kiss someone" she whisper told her girlfriend, feeling like a fool but also relieved she finally told them.

you smiled feeling relieved that it wasn't because she didn't love you or that you had a bad breath or something, you looked at her lips and get an idea in your head, since she now had told you her reason, you had a reason to help her and maybe also show her how to kiss you properly "sooo does that mean you never kissed anyone before?" you asked her curiously. She looked at you with wide eyes before she answered back with a little laugh "no no, I have kissed people before but.. they always told me I sucked at it and then broke up with me" she told you, looking disappointed in herself and scared you would do the same thing.

"well one thing is for sure, I would never leave you" you told her and gave her a peck on her cheek "let me teach you how" you told her and she nodded, grabbing her chin you leaned in closer "close your eyes" you whispered sweetly and pulled on her bottom lip, pulling her in closer and slowly putting your lips on hers, swiping your tongue over her bottom lip, she slowly opened her mouth and you slid your tongue a little inside, moving your lips with hers. you slowly pulled away and smiled, feeling proud to have finally kissed your girlfriend and teached her a little too.

she carefully opened her eyes and looked at you with sparkles and pulled you in for a small peck and held your cheek "I love you.." you giggled and gave her a peck on her forehead "I love you too, now lets get dressed and take a quick smoke!" you said with excitement and pulled her with you to grab a coat and scarf and some warm shoes, quickly grabbing her cigarettes and going outside, shoko now felt so much better, and felt also more comfortable to kiss you now.

authors note: it's been awhile since I've written something, I hope you guys enjoy this.

additional note : show support by liking, commenting and reblogging !

#jjk x reader #shoko ieiri #jujutsu kaisen shoko #shoko x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fluff #jjk oneshot #shoko is my fav lesbo

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majaloveschris · 5 months

Note

“Do I still like him? Yes. Would I still do so if this turned out to be real? Probably not.”

And that right there is why you can’t accept reality. You just gotta let him go, girl. It might hurt for a bit, but it will be so much better for you in the end. There are better things, actors and men out there.

It's bold of you guys to assume my whole life revolves around Chris, and letting him go would be the worst thing that could happen to me.

I say I think this is PR because I think it is. Period. Not because I "don't want to let him go" or because it would "hurt a little bit." Why do we act like this is some kind of breakup or whatever? It's not that deep.

I like him; I always liked the fragment of his personality he showed us. I watched some of his movies that I thought would be interesting to me. I saw his interviews, and that was it. I never really cared about his love life until Alba showed up. The only reason I came to Tumblr was because of that LV video and the argument that was going on under the post in the comments. And the reason why I made this blog was because, at the very beginning of this whole thing, I remember thinking I'd also like to talk about my opinion and about what I think. Or about his movies or projects I've seen. And I'm still here. But this is not my life and never was. I have a life outside of this, which is much more important than Tumblr. I have problems that are much more important than whether he is truly with Alba or not.

Would I be disappointed if this turned out to be real? Sure! But I wouldn't be crying about it, and it definitely wouldn't be world-ending. There are some movies I like of his that I'd still rewatch because I'm capable of telling the actors and their roles apart. Life goes on, and we all have one that we need to live. The same goes for me. His being together with her wouldn't have any effect on my personal life. I'd still have my family, my partner, and my friends. The same goes for everybody.

Yeah, one of the reasons I think this is PR is because I don't think he would date someone who seemingly embodies everything he's ever stood against. But this is one of the reasons, and the only one. The most important one is their behavior and how this whole "relationship" has been handled. I have tons of posts explaining why I think this is PR, and if you read those, you can see it's not about me wanting to think he doesn't like them.

But maybe it's time to let go of trying to convince people otherwise. Let them think about what they want, and have a healthy conversation with them about their different opinions if it's something that you are open to. If not, then let them be.

#majaloveschris #chris and alba pr #chris and alba relationship #majaloveschris chris #cevans-love

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koralira-kira · 10 months

Text

the way he does things ❆park sunghoon❆

pairings : student!sunghoon x student!reader

genre : college sweethearts, romance, fluff, young love

synopsis : watch or read how park sunghoon does the things that made him realise about his feelings for you.

warnings : none

wc : 523

notes : the first time i'm doing this tumblr thing and it took me a good thirty minutes to set and figure this up (writing not included) and it's honestly rlly hard since i only read here 🥲, so kudos to the writers that take their time to prepare all of these for us to read WHAJKJHSKJSHA. anyways, hope u enjoy!!!

---

the way park sunghoon got you wrapped around his fingers whenever he walks down the hallway along with his little group with that devilish smile stapled on his face, looking at you like you're some lost pup that he found down the highway.

the way park sunghoon never forgets to miss his chances to look at you eating, laughing, and talking in the school cafeteria with those pretty sparkly eyes while the boys talk about their day. he admits it's a bit weird and strange but he just can't help it.

the way park sunghoon would catch you playing on your phone or laptop during your classes while smiling to himself knowing you only have a 40% chance of not getting caught by your professor. he's not gonna lie though, mr. anderson's classes weren't as much fun as mr. garcia's.

the way park sunghoon would purposely sit the nearest chair to you in the school library and would lowkey admire you while studying for your bio exams next week. and if he's lucky, you'd catch him stare at you and while holding that eye contact, he'd give you the most smug smirk he's got.

the way park sunghoon would never, and i kid you not, NEVER stop until he'd find you at every frat party he's been to. and if he did, he would quietly follow you around and look out for you in case something would happen.

the way park sunghoon would be all in denial to the boys about his feelings for you but would question himself that night and realize how he's so down bad for a girl like you.

the way park sunghoon would get his ego boosted up whenever he sees you in one of his figure skating tournaments holding up a sign that says his name that you made the night before. he'd lie if he said it didn't make him blush.

the way park sunghoon would ask you out on a date little hang out the next day. giving you a cute rose that he definitely didn't buy last minute.

the way park sunghoon would shyly ask for your number and you gladly giving it to him as he drops you off at your appartment complex. as soon as he saw you close that door, he'd stare at that same door for five minutes straight, smiling like an absolute idiot holding his phone with your number saved on it. he gave himself a mental note to text you as soon as he got back to his apartment.

the way park sunghoon would ask you for a few more dates and eventually confessing to you to be his girlfriend in the back of his car, covered with a thick blanket and a few chips at the side while watching a blockbuster movie. obviously you said yes, i mean who wouldn't say no to that gorgeous being?

it's that way park sunghoon would do things that never disappoints in making you feel happy, free, loved, and cared for. now that you're his, he'll make it sure to the gods that no matter how hard it takes, he'll never let you go.

fin

---

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justagalwhowrites · 5 months

Text

Holly Jolly - Ch. 2: It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

You and Joel get the girls together for a playdate. A continuation of Holly Jolly, a modern no-outbreak TLOU fic found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: None really!

Length: 4.1k

AO3 | Main Master List | First Chapter | Next Chapter

Sarah, it seemed, had become president of the Sharon fan club.

She talked about her the whole ride home. She talked about her as Joel got Sarah ready for school the next morning. She talked about her all through dinner.

“Hey Dad,” she said as he read her a story and tucked her into bed. “Can I play with Sharon tomorrow maybe?”

Joel sighed.

“Wouldn’t you rather go play with Mackenzie?” He asked. “Or maybe we can watch a movie, just you and me?”

“But I like Sharon,” she said, whining a little. “Please?”

He sighed again.

“I’ll see what I can do,” he said. “But you have to go to sleep, OK?”

“OK!” She said quickly, snapping her eyes shut. Joel laughed a little. She opened one eye ever so slightly to make sure Joel was watching and closed it again.

“Alright, Kiddo,” he laughed again. “Sleep tight.”

“I’m trying to, Daddy, but you keep talking,” she scrunched her nose.

“Sorry,” he smiled and kissed her forehead before turning out her lamp. “Goodnight, Baby Girl.”

“Night, Dad!”

He closed the door quietly behind him and went to the living room, all but collapsing on the couch and pinching the bridge of his nose.

Joel really didn’t want to text you. He wasn’t exactly eager to talk to you just after meeting you let alone after you saw his card get declined and decided to take pity on him to buy the fucking picture. And then he was a bit of a dick about it. Something else he wasn’t exactly proud of.

But he didn’t want to disappoint Sarah more. So he gritted his teeth, found your text from yesterday, and typed out a message.

Hey, it’s Joel, Sarah’s dad. She’s been talking about Sharon non-stop, would you like to try to get them together this weekend?

He almost hoped you didn’t respond. If you didn’t, it wouldn’t be Joel’s fault that Sarah didn’t get to see Sharon again. She’d be disappointed but she’d understand and Joel could feel like he’d done his job as her dad.

But you responded almost immediately. Because of course you did.

Hey Joel! Sharon’s been talking about Sarah a ton, too! Does tomorrow work? There’s a playground at our apartment complex and I can make lunch.

Joel gritted his teeth. Were you trying to feed them because you didn’t think he could feed his kid? Or were you just being nice? He sighed. Sarah liked Sharon. He had to at least try to be nice.

Sounds great. What time?

Again, an almost instant reply.

Noon OK?

You added your address.

Sure. See you then.

Sarah was damn near giddy when he told her the plan the next morning. He’d never seen her run to brush her teeth quite that fast and she immediately went to her toy box to start trying to find things she wanted to bring over.

“You can pick three things,” Joel said. “And it has to be stuff you want to share, OK?”

She nodded seriously. Joel put her curls into springy pigtails and let her pick her clothes for the day - Sarah carefully selecting pink pants and a purple shirt with a lot of glitter before insisting on adding the ponytail holders with the pink, plastic balls to her hair.

Joel stopped at the HEB on the way to your place and picked up some juice boxes and some cookies so he wasn’t showing up empty handed. The check and finally cleared so he pulled out cash to give you, too. There was a bright green wreath on your door and a doormat with a snowman and Joel tried to not cringe as he knocked.

You answered quickly, smiling like you had been before but not completely covered in Christmas shit this time, at least.

“Hi,” you said. “It’s good…”

Sharon careened around the corner and almost fell into Sarah, eyes wide and excited.

“You’re here!” She said, giddy, before grabbing Sarah’s hand. “Come on, I want to show you this sticker…”

The two girls tore into the apartment and you laughed a little before stepping to the side and holding your arm out, welcoming Joel in.

“Come on in!” You laughed a little. “Lunch is almost done. I decided to do something pretty basic, I hope that’s OK…”

“Sure it’s great,” Joel said, holding out the juice boxes and cookies like an offering. “Thought we could contribute.”

“Thank you,” you took them and headed inside, Joel trailing behind you.

“Also, here,” he held out the money. “For the picture.”

“Oh,” you looked at the cash for a second and then back up at him. “Really, don’t worry about it. Lord knows people have helped me out enough over the years. Just pick up the tab for someone next year or something.”

He wanted to fight you on it but you were already headed to the kitchen, putting the juice boxes in the fridge.

While you weren’t covered in Christmas stuff, your house sure as shit was. Paper chains hung from every doorway he could see, a Christmas tree in the corner twinkling with a small pile of gifts below it, a collection of wooden snowmen on your coffee table. It definitely made the four foot tree that was older than Sarah with nothing below it seem lacking. He tried not to resent that, too.

You pulled something out of the oven as Joel hovered awkwardly in the entry to your small kitchen.

“Oh, you can have a seat if you want,” you nodded to the breakfast bar. “We’ll give them a few minutes to check out the new stickers. Sharon’s school holiday party was yesterday and the kids all got goodie bags and she traded like everything in hers for as many stickers as she could get her little hands on. I don’t know what the obsession is…”

“Thanks for havin’ us over,” Joel said, watching as you cut up the bread you’d just pulled out of the oven and he realized that you’d made little sandwiches. “I appreciate it, especially since I wasn’t exactly the friendliest the other day.”

You looked up at him from the pan and he realized he could see your cleavage down the v-neck of your impossibly soft looking sweater, a sweater that looked like it was made to play off the color of your hair and skin and eyes.

“Oh, it’s fine,” you waved him off and went for the fridge. “I’m sure you just had a long day. Why else would you be in line to see Santa at 8:30 on a Thursday night?”

Joel laughed a little. You weren’t wrong.

“Yeah,” he said. “Fair enough. Still. You were being nice and I should’ve been nice back.”

You shrugged and pulled some cut up vegetables and fruit out of the fridge and put them on the counter.

“The holidays are hard,” you said. “Really, it’s OK.”

“Don’t look like they’re hard for you,” he said, looking around.

Your eyes looked a little wide.

“Really?” You asked. “Oh, thank God. This is the first Christmas I’ve had a kid in my house, I keep worrying I’m not doing it right…”

“Looks like you’re doin’ good to me,” Joel said.

“Thank you,” you said. “Really, that means a lot.”

Joel looked at a picture on a nearby wall, you with Sharon and a woman who looked a little like you.

“Is that Sharon’s mom?” He asked, nodding at the photo. You leaned over the breakfast bar to see where he was looking and he resisted the uncomfortable urge to get a better look below your sweater.

“Yeah,” you nodded with a sigh. “My sister. She was a single mom and she died in February.”

“Shit,” Joel said. “I’m sorry, that’s… that’s hard.”

“It really is,” you said, eyes a little wide. “Don’t get me wrong, I love Sharon. That kid is my whole world. But I was only ever supposed to be the cool aunt who took her to Europe when she turned 16 and went with her for her first tattoo because her mom would hate it and she wanted support. I’m not supposed to be a mom.”

“Is it just you?” Joel asked on impulse before he realized that he was prying into the life of a virtual stranger. “Sorry, you don’t have to answer…”

“It’s fine,” you waved him off. “And yeah, just me. Before wild child in there I wasn’t really interested in much tying me down so I haven’t had a real boyfriend or anything in years. Our parents died a few years ago and we didn’t have any other siblings so it’s just me and Sharon. She’s a great kid, though. So much like her mom, it’s all so worth it. I just hope I’m doing right by her, you know?

“Her mom would go all out at Christmas,” you continued. “Like that house looked like Buddy the Elf went to town on it every year. Meanwhile, I had like three ornaments I’d gotten as gifts before this year. I always went to her place for the holidays, it seemed silly to decorate mine.”

“Looks like you’ve got it down already,” Joel said. “Just bought a house a few months ago, haven’t had the chance to really decorate anything yet. I just keep hoping she doesn’t really notice.”

“Seems like you’re the kind of dad who spends a lot of time with her,” you said. “That’s the important part.”

You called the girls over for lunch and you and Joel just watched as the two of the chattered about Frozen between bites of carrot sticks and sandwich.

At one point you made eye contact with Joel when Sharon talked about trading for all the stickers yesterday at school and Joel had to fight not to laugh when he realized that he actually liked you. When he wasn’t in a shit mood and having his card declined by the mall Santa, you were just a kind person who, for some reason, wanted to be kind to him. Even after he’d been rude to you. He hadn’t thought you’d be his kind of person but he liked you.

“So ladies,” you said as plates were cleaned and leftovers put in the fridge. “Playground?”

Sarah’s face lit up and the two of you got the girls into their jackets before walking over to the park, the kids immediately running for the slide, giggling manically. You sat on a bench and Joel joined you, the two of you silently watching them play for a moment before you glanced over at him.

“So,” you said. “When you’re not shepherding a five-year-old girl through the mall Santa line, what do you do?”

“I’m a contractor,” Joel said. “Mostly small to mid-sized jobs, just wrapped up one and I’ve got something small to run through the holidays before the next bigger one starts… You?”

“I’m a teacher,” you said. “Physics, at the high school down the road.”

Joel smiled a little.

“I went to that school.”

“Really?” Your face lit up. “It’s a small world!”

“Or I just never made it far from where I finished school,” Joel said, looking back at the girls. “You like it there?”

“I guess,” you shrugged. “I’m still getting the hang of it. I never planned to be a teacher, I was an architect before but I needed something that would work better for Sharon schedule wise so I got my teaching certification.”

Joel frowned.

“That’s a hell of a sacrifice.”

You shrugged again.

“She’s worth it. Besides, the kids are really fun. I have juniors and seniors and they’re so dramatic at that age, it’s like every little thing is the end of the world, and they care so passionately about things. It’s like living as an extra in a soap opera. That’s actually why I was dressed so crazy on Thursday, we had our holiday parties for the a-block classes but one of my kids was having some issues so I just stayed late and the next thing I knew I was late getting Sharon from daycare and everything was a mess… Anyway…”

“You’re doin’ a good job,” Joel said, watching you, and you looked at him. Actually looked at him.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he said. “Trust me. Been doin’ this on my own since Sarah was four months old. You’re doin’ a good job.”

The girls played for almost two hours before they wore themselves out and you all walked back to your apartment.

“So, I hope I’m not overstepping by asking but… where are you at with Christmas shopping?” You asked. Joel just blinked at you for a moment but you kept going. “I’m only asking because there’s a thing some of the other teachers do where we take turns watching each other’s kids so we can run errands or go Christmas shopping and I’m dropping Sharon off tomorrow afternoon. They’re cool if I add another kid to the mix so if you need to get out for a few hours and cross some things off the to do list…”

You looked worried and Joel, for a moment, wondered just how much of an asshole he’d been to you that you thought doing him a favor would piss him off.

“That would be great, actually,” he said. “You’re sure they don’t mind?”

“Not at all,” you smiled. “I’ve covered for some of the others a few times when stuff comes up with their other kids like sports tournaments and things, it’s really no problem. Besides, something tells me that Sarah’s a good kid. Don’t think she’s going to give them much trouble. If you text me your address, I can pick you up around 10 tomorrow morning? Drop the kids?”

“Uh… sure,” Joel said, surprised that he was actually looking forward to it. “Thanks.”

When he tucked Sarah in that night, he told her that she was going to see Sharon again the next day. She was giddy, kicking her little feet under her blankets.

“I really like her, Daddy,” she smiled, that gap in her teeth one of the cutest damn things Joel had ever seen. “And her aunt is really nice.”

“Yeah,” Joel said, tucking the blankets around her. “Yeah, she is.”

***

“But can we ask them over to make cookies?” Sharon asked as you French braided her hair.

“Maybe,” you said. “But it’s the holidays, girlie pop, they might already have plans. It would be very rude to try to monopolize their time.”

“But I really like Sarah!” She said. “And she said they only do the cut out cookies and I told her about the peanut butter ones I made with you and mom last year and…”

You still got a little choked up at the thought of your sister. You didn’t know it was going to be her last Christmas at the time but, in hindsight, it was like part of her had known she was going to be gone a few months later.

It had been a picture perfect Christmas, filled with movie marathons and cookie baking and a Christmas light drive with a thermos of hot cocoa and extra marshmallows. You’d loved every second of it, loved that it felt like the three of you against the world.

And now it was just you and Sharon and you were trying desperately to fill the massive shoes your sister had left behind while not replacing her.

“We can make the peanut butter ones again,” you said, swallowing the tears that tightened in your throat. “And it will still be fun if it’s just you and me and not you and me and Joel and Sarah. Right?”

“Yeah,” she sighed dramatically.

“I know,” you tied off her braid and kissed the crown of her head. “I’m such a let down.”

You made a face at her in the mirror and she giggled.

“Come on,” you said, giving her shoulders a squeeze. “Let’s go get our new friends.”

You tried to not be nervous about spending at least part of the day with Joel without the girls. You were pretty sure he didn’t like you much. You’d been positive about that at the mall. You knew you tended to come on a little strong and you’d been so flustered when you’d met him that you were sure it was worse than usual. You hadn’t expected him to actually reach out and you certainly weren’t going to text him unless Sharon was particularly eager to see Sarah and you felt like you had to.

And then he texted you.

Yesterday had gone better, at least. He was kinder than he’d been before and you’d enjoyed talking with him while the kids played. He was clearly such a dedicated father. Sarah fell off the play structure at one point with a small shriek and he jumped to his feet with a look of sheer panic on his face. But he stayed by the bench, giving her a second to get herself up before Dad rushed in. She did just that, brushing wood chips off her knees before immediately climbing the ladder to the slide again.

It wasn’t something you were used to seeing from men. Sharon’s father hadn’t been anything like that. He’d stuck around for a few months after he’d proposed to your sister when he knocked her up. But by the time the baby shower rolled around, you could tell he was getting cold feet. Sharon wasn’t even a day old yet when he pulled you aside at the hospital and asked you to tell your sister to leave him off the birth certificate. You didn’t even get a chance to respond before he turned and left and that was the last time you’d seen him.

Joel, clearly, had done the opposite.

When you rang the door bell at the small house with peeling paint on the trim, it took almost a minute for Joel to answer the door.

“Sorry,” he said quickly. “Come in, we’re havin’ a bit of a morning… Sarah didn’t sleep great so she didn’t want to eat breakfast and now we’re behind and…”

“It’s fine,” you smiled. “We’ve got time.”

You nudged Sharon in ahead of you and followed behind Joel, his dark curls wet. You sat down in the living room and peered around. There was a small artificial tree in the corner that looked a little threadbare and stockings held by push pins by the fireplace. A chunk of drywall had been cut out near the back door and there were some tools in slightly organized disarray on the floor nearby.

“What’s that?” Sharon frowned, looking at the exposed pipe.

“That is the current project,” Joel said, guiding Sarah into the room. “Some stuff in the house doesn’t work quite right…”

“Hi Sharon!” Sarah waved frantically and Sharon’s face lit up.

“Hi Sarah!” She waved back. “Sarah, I brought my favorite Barbie! The one with the red hair, it’s in the car!”

“Cool!” Sarah said. “I asked Santa for a Barbie Dream House for Christmas! When I get it, you’ll have to bring your dolls over and they can be friends, too!”

You caught a glimpse of Joel’s face at the mention of Barbie Dream House, almost like a wince.

“You promised to sit still if you got to sit in the living room while I did your hair,” Joel said. “Sooner we do that, sooner you can go see that Barbie, let’s go.”

Sarah sighed dramatically and flopped on the loveseat. Joel stood behind her and quickly gathered her hair into several small buns while Sarah did her best to hold still while talking animatedly to Sharon.

It didn’t take long and soon, the four of you were piling in your SUV, Joel putting Sarah’s carseat in the back alongside Sharon’s.

“I really appreciate this,” he said after you dropped the girls off and headed to the Target in town with the biggest toy selection. “I had no damn clue when I was going to try to get any Christmas shopping done…”

“Tell me about it,” you said. “If it wasn’t for this whole kid watching exchange, I was going to have to take a day off work. I’ve never had to try to do this before, it’s her first Christmas without her mom and I really can’t mess it up, you know?”

“Can I ask what happened?” Joel asked after a moment.

“Car accident,” you said. “On her way to get Sharon from daycare in February. Thank God she wasn’t in the car, too, or they’d both be gone…”

“Jesus,” Joel said. “I’m sorry, that’s… that’s hard. Seems like you’re handling it well, though. Sharon seems to adore ya.”

You shrugged.

“I think I’m still just the cool aunt in a lot of ways,” you said. “Part of me thinks she still expects her mom to come back eventually. I don’t know. This isn’t how life was supposed to go for either of us.”

Joel just nods slowly.

“I get that. S’not what I expected for mine, either. It’s all worth it for Sarah but if you’d asked me what I was gonna be doing at 27 years old, shopping for a fuckin’ Barbie Dream House wouldn’t be it. Oh shit… crap, sorry. I try not to swear in front of Sarah or people I don’t really know, I don’t…”

You laughed a little.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m a big girl. Think I can handle a little adult language.”

You parked at Target and the two of you headed inside, each grabbing a cart.

“Did you want to split up or…” Joel asked.

“Well, if you wouldn’t mind me tagging along?” You asked, a little sheepish. “This is the first Christmas and her birthday was just before her mom died, I’ve never done a big gift day with her. I could use some help. If you’re up for it, I don’t want to impose, it’s totally fine if you just don’t want…”

“It’s fine,” Joel smiled just a little. “At this point, know a lot more about little girls’ toys than I have any right to. May as well put it to use.”

The two of you started in the girls’ clothes section before heading on to the toys. Joel went straight for the Barbie aisle and he stopped in front of the Dream House, just staring at the box. You picked a Barbie for Sharon and stood next to him.

“That thing is huge,” you said after a moment, glancing his way. “No way there’s room for it in my place. No one has room for something that big…”

You chewed the inside of your cheek a bit, hoping that giving Joel some kind of out wasn’t too awkward.

He didn’t take it, though.

“It’s just outta my price range this year,” he sighed. “Keep tryin’ to do the math and I want to get it for her. I want to get everything for her. But shit, I’ve got maybe that much for all of Christmas. Can’t spend that on one toy.”

You saw him tense his jaw for a moment when you had a thought.

“What if you made her one?” You asked, looking up at him. He took his eyes off the box for the first time in more than a minute to frown at you.

“Make a Barbie Dream House,” he said, skeptical.

“Yeah,” you shrugged. “I mean, it wouldn’t look just like that but… I’m an architect. Or I was. You’re a contractor. I bet, between the two of us, we could come up with something that would cost like $50 in materials. I’ll design it for you and then you can build it and…”

“You’d do that?” He asked, brows raised. “Just plan out a toy for my kid?”

“Sure,” you shrugged and smiled. “I mean… it’s Christmas. Besides, it’ll give me a chance to practice at drawing up plans again. I could use the excuse, I miss it.”

Joel looked at you for a moment and you thought - not for the first time - that he was one of the most beautiful people you’d ever seen. You’d thought it when you first saw him in line for Santa, you’d thought it when he’d showed up at your door the day before, you’d even thought it as you watched him style is daughter’s hair earlier that day.

You looked at the box for something else to focus on.

“We can do that,” you said. “Piece of cake.”

Next Chapter

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x oc #holly jolly

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violetsandfluff · 2 years

Text

Sweet Creature (h.s.)

a/n: a huge thank you to @fallinallincurls for lending me her concept! it’s awesome, so go read it rn. i’ve been struggling with tumblr all day long, so please tell me if anything is wrong with this. some lines didn’t paste in, and others pasted seven times, and I don’t know why. i’m never gonna fucking write again if this persists, soooo yeah. anyway, i love this idea, so I hope it’s somewhat enjoyable at least xo

summary: the reader is sick on her birthday and harry vows to give her the best day ever, despite that.

word count: 4.something k

Harry let out a wistful sigh as he looked down at the sleeping beauty in his arms. The way you could look so ethereal while you slept was something he’d never understand. It was cloudy and gray outside, but the light was still streaming into the window, casting an angelic glow on your gorgeous features.

You were positioned in his arms with your face buried into his thin white t-shirt so you could smell the scent you loved so much, which was inherently his. Your arms were wrapped loosely around him and your fists were stuffed with handfuls of his shirt and he’d have it no other way.

“G’mornin’, angel,” Harry said softly in his low morning voice, caressing your forehead gently with his thumb.

You stirred in his arms and moved your head to rest higher up on his chest, but said nothing.

“Good morning,” he repeated with a sleepy smile. “Happy birthday, love!”

“Thank you,” you mumbled, rubbing your eyes with your fists. “What time is it?”

“Eight-forty-two,” he replied after a glance at the clock. “Someone’s sleepy, huh?”

You nodded, your head still resting on his chest. Your eyes were brimming with tears that could only be described as disappointed.

“Are you alright?” he questioned, brows furrowed with concern.

You shook your head. “I don’t feel good. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, honey,” he sighed as he squeezed you tightly. “Don’t be sorry. Shit happens, it’s okay.”

“But now we can’t do everything you had planned.”

“Don’t cry, sweetheart. We can do those things some other time. Besides, there’s plenty of stuff to do around the house.”

“Like what?”

“First off, we’ll get some cold medicine in you so you’ll feel better. Then I’ll make you breakfast—whatever you want—and we can watch movies or snuggle or something. Sound good?”

You sniffled and nodded. “You’re so good to me, Harry,” you whimpered.

“It’s ‘cuz I love you,” he explained. “I’ll do anything for you.”

You let out a whiny hum at his words.

“So do you want for your birthday?” he inquired.

“An orgasm,” you answered without missing a beat.

“Just one?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?” A naughty glimmer rested in his green eyes and you loved it.

“Yes.”

“Only one orgasm for my birthday girl?” Harry pouted and you had to crack a smile.

“Yes.”

A priceless look rested on his beautiful face, causing you to laugh out loud, despite your sore throat.

“You can have it whenever you’re ready,” he promised before changing the subject tactfully. “If you want to sleep in a little longer, I can get started making you some breakfast.”

You nodded your agreement and he got up, leaving a warm, empty spot on the bed next to you. You shivered, already missing his warmth, and he let out a low chuckle.

“Aww, my baby’s all shivery,” he frowned. “I can grab you some more blankets if you need ‘em.”

“Yes, please,” you agreed, pulling the comforter up to your chin.

Harry returned moments later with an armful of blankets and pillows of various colors and patterns. “Get comfortable,” he commanded lightheartedly.

You rolled onto your right side and curled up around one of the pillows, and he used the rest to prop you up. You were wrapped up like a burrito in all of the blankets, and he admired his work with a giggle. “You’re so cute wrapped up like that,” he smiled, pressing kisses to your warm temples between his words.

You sniffled and wiped your nose on the pillow before giving him a smile in return.

“I’ll leave you alone now. Gonna make you something to eat, okay?”

You hummed in approval, your eyes closing with his touch.

“Sleep tight, baby doll.”

A little less than an hour later, you woke up and heard a timer going off in the kitchen, followed by Harry’s careful footsteps. You emerged from your blanket cocoon, only to scurry back in when the cool air hit you. The blankets were warm from being slept in, and they fell comfortably against you.

A few minutes later, you heard Harry’s footsteps approaching the bedroom’s closed door.

He poked his head cautiously into the room, entering fully when he saw that you were awake.

“Did you sleep?” Was the first thing he asked.

“Yeah,” you grinned. “I’m really comfortable.”

“My baby and her little nest,” he said with adoration as he ruffled your hair. “Are you ready for breakfast?”

“Yeah,” you said, imagining the wonderful scents that your stuffy nose was causing you to miss out on. “What did you make?”

“Can’t you smell it?”

“No.”

“Well then, it’s a surprise. Hey!” An excited sparkle entered Harry’s green eyes. “Can I choose an outfit for you to wear?”

“Yes,” you giggled, causing your throat to tickle. “Choose me something comfortable.”

Harry crossed the room in a few long strides and began rummaging through the two dressers that stood together. He selected some articles of clothing as you watched from your cocoon, pulling some tissues from the box on your nightstand. You blew your nose as your boyfriend laid out the clothes at the foot of the bed.

“Ta-da!” he beamed adorably, making jazz hands. “Do you like it?”

The outfit consisted of an old pair of your sweatpants and one of Harry’s softest t-shirts, as well as his heaviest sweatshirt.

“That looks so cozy,” you commented as you prepared to have your boyfriend’s idea of cute bestowed upon you.

“Nice and cozy for my girl to rest and get better in.”

The sweatpants slid up effortlessly and the worn brown graphic tee fell almost to your knees. You decided to keep the sweatshirt off during breakfast at least, because the sleeves would be far too long to eat in.

“Mind if I carry you, princess?” Harry asked, and you granted him permission immediately.

He picked you up and your legs found themselves around his waist instinctively, your arms hanging loosely around his neck. You buried your face in the back of his shoulder momentarily, just long enough to muffle a big sneeze that left you sniffling.

“Bless you,” he cooed gently as he made his way down the stairs and into the kitchen. “Surprise!”

You were set down on the cold kitchen floor where you turned around to see the island decorated with a vase of flowers and two ornate placemats that looked like they came from someone’s dead grandma’s house. A shiny happy birthday sign hung on the wall and a card sat on your chair, along with a bottle of cold medicine. You picked them up before sitting down, and watched Harry intently as he dished up the food.

You couldn’t get over his physique and his personality and his heart no matter how hard you tried. He was by far the most thoughtful, loving, caring, hottest boyfriend ever.

He set a plate down in front of you and you gave him a warm smile as you took it in. Your birthday breakfast consisted of strawberries, eggs, bacon, and an extremely appetizing cinnamon roll with icing on top.

“Oh, Harry,” you sighed happily. “You didn’t have to do all this, but it’s amazing! Thanks so much!”

Harry blushed a little at the compliment before seating himself on the chair beside you. “You deserve it, puppy. You deserve the world. It’s gotta suck to feel icky on your birthday, so I’m gonna do everything in my power to make it memorable.”

“Every day with you is memorable,” you smiled as you took a sip of orange juice. “You’re my favorite person ever.”

Harry was about to respond with something sappy, but he was interrupted by a sudden bright idea. “Ooh, wait!” he sprung from his seat like he was possessed by Tigger. “Don’t start eating yet.”

He began opening and closing cupboards and drawers with gusto, desperately searching for two sacred items. He returned to the table once he’d found them, and frowned at your amusement.

“Don’t laugh.”

He lit a match and stuck a striped, half-melted birthday candle into the center of your cinnamon roll.

“It’s pathetic, I know, but I promise I’ll get a cake as soon as you feel better.”

You leaned out of your chair to give him a side hug.

“Make a wish,” he urged, his eyes aglow like a five-year-old at a birthday party.

You thought long hard about what to wish for, but you ultimately decided that you had all that you could ever want or need. You moved your face closer to the flame to blow it out, but you were caught off guard by a sneeze.

It came on too quickly for you to cover, so you just apologized quietly and refused to look at Harry.

“That’s one way to do it,” he chuckled. “That’s why I didn’t make a cake. No offense.”

“None taken,” you groaned, trying not to find humor in the situation. When the laughter became too hard for both of you to suppress, you set your head on the table and pretended to cry while Harry continued laughing.

“Don’t make fun of me,” you pouted. “If it was up to me I wouldn’t feel so gross.”

“I know, I know. Sorry, lovie.” Harry threw an arm around you and picked his fork up.

Breakfast was delicious, and the little bit that you could smell was equally mouthwatering. The conversation was dominated by Harry since your throat was sore and scratchy, but he made sure you knew how loved you were, and how much your smile and laugh meant to him.

“We’ve got a busy day, you know,” he said as he examined the dishes in the sink, debating whether he should do them or leave them, and ultimately deciding to let them go. “Lots of stuff to do.”

“Like what?”

“Oh, you know,” he repeated. “Movies to watch, naps to take, kisses to give, and orgasms to be dealt.”

You licked your lips at the thought of an orgasm from Harry. “Sounds good to me!”

“Gifts to be opened,” he continued with a wink.

“Spending a whole day with you is a gift!” you protested. “What more could I possibly want?”

“You know.”

“Stop saying that,” you giggled, wiping your nose on the shoulder of your t-shirt. “It means nothing, you know.”

Harry just shook his head and popped a strawberry into his mouth, leaves and all. “If only you knew.”

He walked with you to the couch where he picked you up and set you on his lap. “There,” he said with satisfaction. “I like to hold my baby.”

You stayed on his lap, staring into space while he braided your hair, letting the comfortable silence set in.

He was always so gentle with you, especially when you weren’t feeling your best, and his touch always relaxed you.

“You look like you could use a nap,” he noticed, and you nodded in resignation.

“I’m sorry,” you pouted with a sniffle. “I’m no fun today.”

“You’re not boring, I promise. Plus, I really like to snuggle with you,” he said softly, placing kisses all over your forehead and cheeks. “If you were dead, I’d snuggle with your corpse.”

You gave him a blank stare as you tried to comprehend what he’d just said.

“Yeah, that didn’t sound how I anticipated,” he shook his head. “Sorry ‘bout that, love bug.”

“It’s okay, Harry,” you said, petting his head. “I love you anyway.”

“You’ve got goosebumps all over,” he breathed as he felt your bare arms. “Lets go up to bed for a little bit. You can take a nap if you want, or we can just relax in your little blanket fort. Anything you want, darling.”

Goosebumps were the least of your problems. You could barely keep your eyes open, and you could barely breathe without making your throat tickle. Your throat felt rawer and rawer after every swallow, and your head was pounding. A nap would be a good escape.

You followed Harry upstairs and he tucked you into the mound of blankets before joining you and nestling a box of tissues into the covers by your head.

“Thank you,” you said miserably. “I’ll need them.”

“The medicine should start kicking in any minute, lovie,” Harry assured you.

You rolled over in hopes of getting more cuddles and he gave you the prettiest, most genuine smile you had ever seen. His eyes were full of warmth and compassion, and he was practically begging to be kissed.

Placing one hand on each of his cheeks, you pulled him down closer to you and put a simple kiss on his warm, soft lips.

He hummed with pleasure.

When you tried to lay back down, he laid down with you, his head hanging above yours. One of his strong arms wrapped around your back, and his opposite hand rested firmly on the back of your head. He held you steady as he lowered his lips down to yours.

He kissed you deeply and passionately, his tongue slipping into your mouth and meeting yours. He would have stayed there, kissing you forever, had your nose not been blocked. After you pulled away for the third time, Harry retracted himself as well, and laid back against the pillow mountain.

“I think it’s time for us to have a nap.”

As much as you wanted to keep kissing him, you had to agree. Maybe you would feel better in your dreams.

He pulled you close to him and rewarded you with a kiss on the tip of your sensitive nose. “Sweet dreams, Y/NN.”

You responded with a sneeze and an apology.

Harry shook his head, a lopsided smile adorning his face. “Bless you. Nap time for real, now?”

You pulled a tissue from the box beside you and blew your nose with it before cuddling up with him again.

“You’ll feel better when you wake up. I promise.”

Harry’s arms were the best place to sleep. They held you tightly so you felt safe and secure, and you could feel his solid chest beneath you. If you were positioned correctly, you could even hear his heartbeat and his rhythmic breathing, and feel it on the back of your neck. You were convinced that his arms were the safest place in the world.

You had no trouble falling asleep there, and you always slept soundly. You always woke up well rested and happy, and today was no exception.

“Y/N,” Harry greeted you when he saw your open eyes. “Do you feel better?”

“Yes,” you sighed in satisfaction. “Where were you?”

“I made you some soup,” he explained, beckoning towards his side table. Then, upon seeing your face, he asked, “You’re not hungry, are you?”

Biting your lip, you shook your head reluctantly, quickly adding, “I’ll try some, though.”

“Just have a little bit,” Harry compromised. “It’ll help with your throat if nothing else.”

He adjusted the blankets around your lap when you sat up, and he handed you the one of the two steamy bowls.

It was warm and comfortable in your hands, and you were sure it smelled heavenly. You blew at the steam before dipping a spoon into it.

“It’s good, baby,” you praised. “It feels good on my throat. Thanks.”

“It’s straight out of a can,” he laughed. “Not too much room for me to screw up. You’re welcome. You don’t have to finish it, I kind of made a lot.”

You only ate a few bites, but Harry didn’t push it. Instead, he grabbed an armful of pillows and blankets and motioned for you to follow him. “I’m gonna get us set up on the couch. You start thinking about what movie you want to watch.”

You followed his tall figure down the stairs and to the living room couch, where he dropped the pile of blankets and collapsed onto the cushions.

“Stop doing that,” you giggled as you laid down on top of him and pulled the blankets up to your chin. “We’re going to need a whole new couch before this one is a year old!”

“Relax. This couch can hold me.”

“You’ll think it’s really funny when it crumbles beneath you.”

“I take it you’re feeling better?”

“Kind of,” you sniffled, causing your throat to tickle.

“I know what would make it better, though,” he grinned.

“What?” You were intrigued.

“The Greatest Showman?”

“How did you guess?”

“Better question. How dumb would I have to be to guess wrong?”

“Good point,” you sniffled, resting your head against his chest. “You know me so well.”

He turned on the television and soon the movie’s familiar intro was playing. You knew practically every line of the entire thing, and every song, yet it never got old. Lying on your boyfriend’s chest, watching your favorite movie, snuggled up with your favorite blankets was the epitome of comforting.

He kept you snug and secure the whole time, moving to accommodate you when you rolled over. He rubbed your back when you coughed and kissed your forehead when you sniffled or sneezed. He knew how clingy you were whenever you got sick, and he indulged it fully, always making himself available for cuddle time.

The movie tended to whiz by. Every time you watched it, it seemed to end faster, but that didn’t make it any less enjoyable.

“Did you like it?” Harry teased. “Was it better than the three billion other times we’ve watched it?”

“Yessss,” you whispered before clearing your throat. “Can I get my present now?”

“Oh, yeah!” Harry’s eyes lit up. “Let me go get them.”

“Not those, silly,” you laughed. “The one I asked for earlier.”

“Oh, that present.” Harry’s eyes gleamed hungrily. “Naughty girl.”

You received four orgasms by the time he was done with you, and more than your fair share of birthday spankings. He had been gentle with you, but you could still feel it when he was done.

Now you were sitting on the floor by the coffee table, wrapped in his sweatshirt, watching him clean up.

Every few seconds he’d avert his gaze to you and give you a playful smirk before going back to cleaning.

You sighed and rested your head on the cool glass of the coffee table as you watched him.

He saw you from his peripheral and just shook his head. “Must be nice,” he mused. “I’m kidding. I don’t mind cleaning up after a pretty girl makes a pretty mess all over me.”

You gave a lustful hum, becoming aware of how you probably looked with your cheek smashed against the coffee table.

“You like that?” Harry taunted good-naturedly. “Yeah? How ‘bout we go take a bath. Would that feel good?”

Baths with Harry were usually how you led up to sex. He would let you sit on his lap because you didn’t like to be on the bottom of the tub. Eventually, you would start shifting on top of him to get his cock nice and hard, and next thing you knew, he was buried deep inside you. After-sex cleanup usually consisted of a hasty shower or nothing at all. Today was much different, because he was striving to pamper you.

There was a candle lit, but the lights were off, so as to assuage your headache. You were lying limply on his chest, playing with his tits, per usual, as he was deep in thought.

It was getting late and you hadn’t had dinner or opened your presents yet. You had no idea what was awaiting you, but he did, and he was beginning to get anxious. A symptom of his anxiety was restlessness, and he was definitely getting restless.

“Harry, babe, are you okay?” you asked, disgruntled from all of his sudden movement.

“I’m alright. You know what? How about we order some takeout. Whatever you want, I’ll call it in right now.”

“What’s open?”

“Good point,” he admitted, squinting to examine the foggy clock on the wall. “It’s nine-twenty-nine, probably only bars. Still, I bet we could order something good.”

“Get me whatever you order, unless it has peanuts in it.”

“My indecisive princess at her finest,” he chuckled with admiration. “I’m gonna go dry off and call it in.”

You stayed in the tub just long enough to watch him dry off every part of his body and tie the towel around his waist, stepping out of the room, phone in hand.

A gust of cool air entered when the door opened, and you climbed out of the tub to avoid the draft. The mixture of the day’s events and your headache made you feel like you were dreaming. You expected to wake up beside him at any moment, but this was indeed real life, and it was about to get even more dreamlike.

You dressed yourself in Harry’s pajamas from the night before and walked down to the living room, setting up camp on the couch again.

Harry was in the other bathroom, doin with something curious, but you figured he might not want you to investigate in case he had clogged the toilet, or done something embarrassing.

“Food’ll be delivered in twenty minutes,” he hollered as he continued doing what he was doing. “I’ll be out as soon as possible.”

You gave him a sound of acknowledgment before groping the cushions blindly for the remote, which was all the way down on his end, of course.

You turned on the television to find that The Greatest Showman was paused on the screen with a minute left of the credits. You rewound it to the beginning, snuggling up with a blanket and pillow as the intro played for the second time that day.

“Again?” Harry cried in mock disdain from the bathroom and you just smiled, knowing how hard it must be for him to watch your favorite movie over and over.

“Just once more, I promise!” you called as you tried to wrangle your hair into two neat braids.

Harry emerged from the bathroom just moments before you heard the knock at the door. He rushed to answer it, making only brief conversation with the delivery man. He returned to the couch and set the short rectangular box down on the coffee table.

“I just got a pizza, I hope that’s okay,” he said reluctantly as he opened the box. “I figured you could have as much or as little as you wanted.”

“Pizza’s fine, love!” you reassured him. “Thank you so much, this was an awesome day.”

“A lot better than lying around, feeling sick, huh?”

“Yeah.”

Once both of you had eaten, Harry pulled the hood of your (his) pajamas up, over your head and hair until it was covering your eyes.

“Stay right here,” he said, excitement evident in his voice. “I’ll be right back.”

He ran into the bathroom and returned with two small boxes, one in each hand. They weren’t wrapped, and that made them even more intriguing.

He knelt down before you, putting one in your hand.

You slid the lid off to reveal a bundle of tissue paper. Inside was a stuffed bear, a pair of furry socks, hoop earrings, and a tube of shimmery lipgloss.

“Thank you, baby!” you exclaimed, removing the hoops from the cards and putting them into your ears. “I can’t wait to try on that lipgloss! And how did you know that I’ve always wanted… fluffy orange panda socks?”

Harry shrugged nonchalantly. “I’m smart. Now… you better open this. I’m kind of excited,” he admitted sheepishly.

You took the box from him and removed the lid gingerly. Inside was a Kleenex box.

“Aww, thank you, Haz,” you laughed. “You knew how much I needed this!”

Harry chuckled. “You’re welcome, but that’s not all. Open it.”

You gave him a confused look before trying to slide your nail into the box’s seam. When it didn’t budge, you handed it back to him.

“Try this. My nails are breaking.”

Harry pried the box open and placed it back into your hands, face pale with anticipation and nerves.

You peeled back the white paper to reveal a minimalistic black box. You blinked in disbelief as Harry pulled it from your hand and snapped the lid up slowly.

The pieces clicked into place. He had been anxious all day. He was down on one knee, holding open a box with a gorgeous ring inside.

Time seemed to freeze.

After a full day of having a sore throat, your voice decided to leave you at that moment. You were unable to speak, unable to blink, unable to look away, or even breathe. Your whole body was trembling and your palms became instantaneously sweaty. You were on the verge of tears, and your racing heart was the only thing you could hear.

Harry felt the same way. No matter how hard he tried, no words could escape the barrier of his lips. Looking at your astonished face didn’t help. He felt unworthy to say the least.

“Will you marry me?” he squeaked.

You swallowed several times, racking your brain for words to say. You had imagined this so many times, and planned out your potential responses, but all of those were forgotten now. All you could manage was a slight, tearful, choking yes.

“Yay,” Harry exhaled shakily as his eyes welled up, relief washing over him. He let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding, flicking the box shut before enveloping you in the most loving, passionate, strangling hug of your life.

“Please tell me I’m not dreaming,” you sniffled as tears cascaded down both of your cheeks.

You had seen Harry cry before, but only a little bit at a time. Now, he had his face buried in your shoulder and you could feel his tears seeping through the thick fabric of the sweatshirt you were wearing.

“I love you,” he cried, his voice high and pinched. “Love you so fuckin’ much.”

“Thank you,” you mumbled. “I love you so fucking much, too. I’m just sorry that-”

“Oh, baby, when’ll you just learn to hold your tongue and stop apologizing for things that are out of your control?”

“I hope it didn’t cost you any money to cancel… whatever you had planned.”

“It didn’t,” Harry let out a soft breath through his nose. “You have to admit, we had a pretty awesome day at home, though, hm?”

“Yes,” you agreed. “It’s gotta be a little disappointing, though.”

“You never disappoint me.”

You sat back against the armrest and Harry curled up with his head on your tummy. He opened the ring box and slid the gorgeous gift of devotion onto your finger, pressing a kiss to the jewel.

You stayed there in silence, playing with your fiance’s curls, and admiring how your gem glistened in the light. It was perfect for you, and Harry knew that. He knew debatably more about you than you did.

The thought of spending your whole life with him was surreal. It was like one of those dreams where you achieve all of your life’s desires, only to wake up the same person you were when you went to sleep.

Harry must have felt the same way. He was absolutely beaming. He didn’t stop when he spoke to you, or when he laid his head back down on your tummy. His eyes were glowing, and his cheeks were pleasantly rosy. He was an angel.

“That was the best birthday ever,” you commented, causing his face to light up even more.

“Mission accomplished. We can do the other stuff a different day.”

“What other stuff?”

“I was gonna take you some places,” Harry explained, “but they can wait. All that mattered was that I got that ring on your finger before I died of nerves.”

He used his phone camera to snap a picture of the ring on your hand, sending it out to both of your families, captioned with a simple heart emoji.

Your father was the first to respond, giving you both meaningful words of support.

I’m so proud of you two. You’ve always been my favorites. ;) Stay safe x

Responses and affirmative comments flowed in, renewing the tears in your eyes. Despite the buzz, though, you became aware of the movie that was still playing on the television, so you glanced up at it just in time to see the kiss.

“Looks fun, huh?” Harry noticed the look on your face. “I can’t believe I haven’t kissed my wife-to-be yet.”

He moaned sensually into your mouth when he felt your tongue against his, and the sound was sweeter than candy.

A warm feeling radiated from inside him, and settled deep within you. You knew that nothing that happened could destroy the fire he’d kindled in you.

“Such a sweet little thing,” he said, eyes wide as he eyes your lips hungrily. “Such a yummy girl. How did I get so lucky?”

Taglist: @madybeth21 @groovychaosavenue @fishingirl12 @sortingharryshairclip @mrspeacem1nusone @tenaciousperfectionunknown

#Harry styles #Harry styles fanfic #Harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction #Harry styles fluff #Harry styles sickfic #harry styles x reader #boyfriendrry #harrie #female!reader #harry styles x fem!reader #yellow 💛 heart #flutterfly alley

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