#Ken and Roman are worse then either of them I think but that’s thoughts for a different time

[twinge-of-cosmicangst]

I think Shiv is just as much a victim of their marriage as Tom is, they’ve both wronged each other similar amounts in different ways. Despite this I think Tom effectively won the argument, when I say won I don’t mean that he felt better afterwards, or that he was more “right”, he wasn’t, smh “you won’t have my baby” Tom should’ve maybe talked properly to her about if she wanted kids before he proposed, as having kids is clearly something important to him. He may have been wrong or damn well misogynistic about some criticisms he had of Shiv, but despite this, for want of a better and less cheesy phrase he was saying “his truth” Shiv didn’t really do this or at least not as much as Tom.

When Tom screamed “You were going to see me sent to jail” I sort of understood where he was coming from with his anger here, because even though Shiv was right and he offered to go, and frankly there wasn’t much Shiv could do to help him in that scenario, I think the fact that she barely expressed any happiness and even tried to suppress his own somewhat when he found out he was in fact not going to prison, I generally think she was glad he wasn’t going to prison but it didn’t show at all because of her emotional repression, if I were Tom I would definitely grow resentment if my spouse showed apparent indifference over whether or not I was going to prison. But while I was watching in my head I was like ‘Shiv! He is painting you to be a complete villain, why don’t you tell him that when Logan asked you who you would rather take the fall for cruises Kendall or Tom, you said Kendall, you choose your own brother to take the fall over your husband’ of course Logan was just putting her through emotional torture and would have chosen Kendall anyway, because Logan does what he wants, but shiv doesn’t know that, she was probably under the impression that it was her choice, and she choose to save Tom at the expense of her brother, a level of dedication to him, that I’m not sure that Tom has shown to her at any point, despite being the generally more supportive spouse before his big betrayal. But then I thought of course she didn’t tell him that! If she had that would’ve have basically been a bigger love declaration then any “I love yous” she’s told him in the past, she’s not going to show him that much vulnerability especially when they’re fighting.

The only criticism of substance Shiv gave him was the “you took away the last 6 months away with my dad… you sucked up to him and cut me out” the rest of what she said was petty “your mom likes me more than she likes you, you’re a hick, you’re a snake, a social climber” while Tom told her she was selfish, insecure, broken and incapable of love. Tom was more horrible then she was, because to be that horrible you have let your emotions spill and Shiv was refusing to do that despite the tears in her eyes. Clearly out of everything Tom said what hurt her the most was when Tom said “I think you are perhaps not a good person to have children” (obviously this is a sensitive topic for her because of her traumatic relationship with her own mother, and also the fact she’s fucking secretly pregnant) Shiv could have given Tom reasons why he would be a terrible father or even flung the pregnancy in his face, instead, defeated she said “well, that’s not a very nice thing to say, is it?” To stop herself from breaking down in front of him completely she said “I don’t even like you, I don’t care about you” in such an unconvincing way that I think even Tom must have been able to tell it’s bullshit, but on other hand he is so insecure in his relationship with Shiv, and let’s be honest not without reason, that he likely took her word for it.

#Tomshiv #tom wambsgans #shiv roy #not sure if this is even coherent but wanted to get my take on their fight down into words #Tom is my favourite character but I have more sympathy for shiv in terms of their marriage at the moment #I also think that Tom is just a worse person then shiv in general tbh honest but of course shiv is awful too #they all are #Ken and Roman are worse then either of them I think but that’s thoughts for a different time

[sunflowermp4]

HIIII BESTIE ok so. this has been sitting in my drafts for so long and i don't think it makes any sense but. kenstewy thoroughbreds thoughts.

ok so. kendall and stewy like in canon have known each other since forever. but they go through periods of time where they're either really close and hang out all the time or they don't talk for months on end. a lot of it has to do with kendall's gay panic -- like one day he kisses stewy then panics and doesn't talk to him for a whole year.

but anyway during one of their intense codepenceny era days one day stewy, jokingly at first, says you know dude it would be like. really easy to kill your dad. kendall of course is like what the fuck is wrong with you dude. and stewy is like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ im just saying dude. theoretically it would be easy. kendall is ofc disturbed and is like thats a fucked up thing to say. but. the worse logan gets (not just with kendall, but with shiv and roman as well) the more it starts to seem like a legitimate option. so ken is like, okay remember that thing you said about how easy it would be to kill my dad? theoretically how would you do it. and from then on they come up with The Plan TM but it's like, all just theoretical at that point. still, stewy makes it clear that if anything goes south, kendall is on his own.

two things rq: while lily and amanda / kendall and stewy are obviously very similar respectively, kendall isn't a killer the way lily is and like you said there is nooooo way stewy would willingly take the fall the way amanda was so ready to. so keeping those two things in mind the only way i see things unfolding similarly to the movie would be that one day kendall impulsively says fuck it lets fucking do it stew i want to be free. stewy of course is scared but yk he lowkey (highkey) wants the old man dead and wants his best friend slash boyfriend slash frenemy to be free. still he reminds kendall once again that if things go south he'd be on his own and kendall says he knows and he's well-aware. but then he panics and backs out last minute, and at that point it's way too late for like ... Both of them to get out of it unscathed, so knight in shining armor stewy would have to do it for him.

that way i can see kendall not facing the consequences of his actions (nrpi, no lasting consequences for his actions because hes not a real person etc) plus like. of course the brown immigrant kid would be more likely convicted for a crime as opposed to the white billionaire kid.

interesting interesting interesting this is marinating in my mind.........

this reminds me i am so so so interested in how they deal with kendall's guilt in s4 especially since he's told his siblings now....personally i'm hoping for an american psycho type turn where the absence of consequences makes his guilt turn inwards and eat him alive >:)

#MANY THOUGHTS! #ask #succession #thoroughbreds

[disregardcanon]

a few characterization details from this week’s succession

1. roman you goddamn little fascist. kiernan said something in the commentary about roman not really caring who the president is as long as he gets something out of it, but i think that’s not really right. roman wants an authoritarian in that position because it’s what he understands from their dad and their surroundings and he thinks he’ll be able to make it work for him and his interests. he is so desperately impulsive and wants to think Be Like Dad TM and Be Around People Like Dad TM are end goals and that everyone who isn’t them just sucks. No Real Person Involved. so yeah, he wants menken. he REALLY wants menken, and it is a big problem.

2. kendall doesn’t really want menken, but he DOES want the company and after finding out that shiv was working behind his and roman’s backs, he’s willing to go the easy way to get what he wants. he feels bad about it! but he wants to get what he wants and hurt shiv more than he wants to, like, not destroy the country or keep his daughter safe. yeah kendall, you ARE a bad dad. a different bad than logan was to you, but “don’t illegally declare the nazi president” is like, the bare minimum of what you should be doing for your daughter of color.

3. shiv flounders so much on what’s important to her that she can’t keep any of it. her relationships with her brothers? nope. her morality? nope. her first career? nope! her position in the company? nope. tom? NOPE! nate? oh girl every bit of that ship sailed long, long ago. she does care, but she’s so afraid of getting hurt and failing for backing the wrong horse that she’ll back sixteen different horses simultaneously. and then that makes it so that she has no horses left.

4. the willa stuff was GREAT! like, i loved the way that she tried to corral connor’s... connor. it’s kind of the opposite of that old sexist adage about how behind every great man there’s a great woman? like, behind this incredibly subpar man there’s a woman encouraging him to dump all his money into a pitiful doomed presidential campaign so he doesn’t drop out to support the fascist that all her friends and loved ones hate. and then he still drops out to support the fascist that all her friends and loved ones hate and she just has to deal with it because this is what she agreed to in order to get connor’s money.

5. rava in this episode like... ken we need to go somewhere safe we’re being followed. kendall like “oh the one following you is me! i’m keeping you guys safe :) doing what i do for my kids!” and rava’s like oh my fucking god kendall- and then “hey can i come see the kids? it’s 1 AM and i just had the fascist declared president at my big time news firm :) i want to see my daughter of color to make me feel better-worse please :)” and rava’s just screaming

6. tom is going absolutely off the walls crazy. like, even worse than normal. GREG DO THIS COCAINE WITH ME NOW OR I SWEAR TO GOD-

7. greg, spineless as usual: huh, i guess i gotta go put a bullet in democracy

jess of color: you don’t have to do that!

greg: it’ll happen either way :(

jess of color: like, maybe you? don’t have to? though? JUST A THOUGHT

greg: no, i gotta :/ not gonna be happy about it, but the job’s the job

jess: *internally screaming*

#succession #succession meta #the roy family shitshow

[thesassenachswiftie]

Lover Chapter 5 - “False God”

Read on AO3

Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4

Summary:

Claire has made up her mind to end things with Jamie. How will he react when she makes a confession to him?

Notes:

Thank you all for following along on this journey. We left off in a pretty angsty spot and the angst is going to continue for a bit here.

New chapters every Friday, moodboard release every Monday, previews on Wednesday

Chapter 5:  “False God”

Claire managed to somewhat keep it together all morning as they picked up their discarded clothes scattered about the room, grabbed a quick breakfast and got on the road.  Jamie, of course, noticed the look on her face shortly after waking.  When he inquired, she blamed a hangover (which wasn’t entirely a lie) and assured him she would be fine. She would not be fine, and neither would he, she suspected.  He seemed so chipper, so alive, like he was ready to conquer the world.  She knew she was a terrible person to do this to him, but if she didn’t do it now it would be so much worse for the both of them later.  She decided to tell him when they were about a half hour from her house. That way, if he left her on the side of the road--which she wouldn’t blame him for--she’d be close enough to call Jo to come pick her up. She had made sure her phone was charged the night before if that was to be the case.

 For the first stretch of her trip, she remained quiet, still blaming the hangover and staring out the window as Jamie talked about Scotland and England and all the places he’d love to take her and people he wanted to introduce her to there.  She tuned out most of what he was saying.  She couldn’t bear dreaming with him, and needing to mentally rehearse what she would say when the time came.  She watched the road ahead of her, trying to focus on the movement of the car instead of the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.  Eventually, the time came--she couldn’t put it off any longer.

“Jamie, we were crazy to think that this could work” she blurted out, more abruptly than she had intended.

“I know Claire, but we might just get away with this, it’s going great so far--”

“No Jamie, I mean, this isn’t going to work.  We can’t keep seeing each other like this, and what’s going to happen when you leave?”

“Have you not been listening to me for the past hour? Remember how I said I’d fly ta ya? What are you doing Claire?”

“We were stupid to jump in with an ocean separating us.  We can’t just fly back and forth whenever we feel like it.  It’s not realistic.  We’re living in a fantasy world, Jamie. We’re living in a dream and it’s time to wake up to reality.”

“Claire, I--”

“No, let me finish.  I know I’ve had a setback in my career, but I still want to be a doctor.  I’m not going to be able to spend any time with you when I do eventually start my residency, whether you fly here or not.  It’s not fair to you or me.  It’s not fair to you that I keep you away from your family.  It’s not fair to you that you have to sneak around and lose sleep on my account.  I’m doing this for you, believe it or not.”

Jamie’s hands gripped the steering wheel, turning his knuckles white, his jaw tightened and his face felt hot as something within him broke. “Claire, how could ye possibly be doing this for me when it isna what I want at all?” He reached for her, knowing it would be easier to talk to her if they touched.

Claire stared out the passenger window, arms crossed across her chest, shrinking herself as far away as she could. “Don’t touch me.” she hissed.  She knew she couldn’t do this if they touched, she’d be lost in him again, it was taking all her resolve to say her piece.

Jamie, ever the gentlemen, knew even something as small as a touch on the shoulder was something that needed consent, and reluctantly put his hand back on the steering wheel. “I can’t talk to you when you’re like this, staring out the window like I’m not your favorite.  God dammit Claire, it’s hell when I fight with you.”  He felt so frustrated, he couldn’t understand how less than twenty-four hours ago she confessed her love to him and now she was doing this. “This canna possibly be what you really want.  We belong together, we were meant to meet Claire, we were meant to be together. Ya really wanna leave?  Go ahead, try and leave me, try and tell me honestly that’s what you really want.”  He thought if he could scare her maybe she’d come to her senses and change her mind.

The tears were flowing freely from Claire's eyes now.  “Yes.” she said quietly.  “Jamie, I’m New York City, you’re the English countryside, we don’t belong together, we don’t fit together.  If this was meant to be we’d be on the same path, and we’re just not.”

You’re not New York City, you’re my Sassenach, you don’t belong to any place, that’s what I love about you, you just belong with me. Jamie thought to himself. “Claire, I can’t let you go that easy.  I love you so much, I’d die for you Claire.  If you want me to fly to you every week, I will, I swear to it, tell me what to do Claire.”

Claire’s resolve was weakening, he wasn’t supposed to keep loving her, to keep worshipping her as if she were worthy of his love. She only had one thing left to say, the confession she hoped she wouldn’t have to share. The last thing she wanted to ever tell him, but the thing that might finally make him leave.  “I’m not what you think I am Jamie.  I lied to you!”

“What are you talking about?”

“That first night we were together, I told you Frank broke up with me… he didn’t. I didn’t even talk to him. I used you.  I wanted you, I wanted to piss Frank off--I was bored and lonely and horny and I lied to you to get my way.  That’s the type of person I am, I’m not this wonderful person you’ve made me out to be.”

All he could do in reply was grunt a Scottish noise of disapproval. Her confession ignited a livid fire in him, he didn’t know what to feel or how to respond.  He would never have consented to sleeping with her that night knowing she still belonged to Frank. God, she was engaged to him for heaven’s sake. How could she let him do that, knowing how he felt about the situation. He had been under her spell, completely captivated by her, and he didn’t know if he fully regretted it. The final minutes of their car ride continued in heated silence. The air in the car was thick with something that felt like it would ignite and burn up fast if either of them uttered a word. 

Jamie dropped Claire off at the end of her street as she had requested earlier, she grabbed her weekender bag from the backseat and softly said “Goodbye, Jamie” before shutting the door, not daring herself to look at him as she did. She walked to her house as quickly as she could and collapsed to the ground sobbing as soon as she was inside her door. She knew it was for the best, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

----------

            Jamie drove away from her, glancing one last time at her figure in the rearview mirror in spite of himself.  He felt betrayed, upset, confused and aimless. Above all, he felt heartbroken. They had warned him about times like these--his father, his Godfather, even his brother-in-law.  “When you fall in love”, they said, “the road gets hard and you get lost in it” and Jamie was just now figuring out what they meant.  He had been following her with blind faith, doing anything she asked without a thought, sneaking around--even allowing her to cheat with him, albeit unknowingly. He was still too eager, too willing. How could he forgive himself for that?  How could he allow a woman to consume him so deeply, body, mind and soul? Worst of all, who was he without her, now that she had walked away?

He found himself pulling into the parking lot of a Catholic church.  He didn’t attend weekly anymore, nor did his family.  “The Lord kens how difficult it is ta get seven bairns dressed and ready for church and the Lord kens how much we love him.” his sister Jenny would say.  He knew he didn’t need the church building to love and worship God. He also recognized that the Roman Catholic Church was as flawed and marred by sin as the worst sinner, but he still found something comforting and spiritual about visiting. Something about the waxy smell of candles and the glow the stained glass cast on the cold marble interior, made him feel like he was connected to something ancient and holy, something bigger than himself--and in this moment he needed something bigger than himself to help him make sense of this situation. He dipped his hand in the font and crossed himself as he entered, strode to the pews, and genuflected before taking a seat in the middle of the empty church.  He rested his forehead on his clasped hands, elbows resting on the back of the pew in front of him, ready to speak to the only one who could listen.  The one who knew him best and could help him sort through all the raw emotions that weighed so heavily on him in this moment.

He allowed the tears he’d been holding back to flow freely as he prayed: Lord, please have mercy on my soul for I am a sinner. I thought that you had made her for me, I selfishly thought that we were meant to be together. I tried to be good, I tried to respect and honor her. With her I knew heaven was a thing, I went there when I touched her. Lord, I confess I coveted my neighbor’s wife--well, fiancée if we’re being technical about it--but you of course know these things. I beg you for forgiveness for that, and I’m afraid I am guilty of a bit more than just coveting. Please forgive me for the sins I did not know I was committing.  Lord, if you did not make her for me, please, please, take my desire for her from me, I beg of you.  I fear even if she is a false god that I am still sorely tempted to worship this love.  However, Lord, if you did in fact make her for me, and me for her, as I believe you are good enough to do, please Lord, bring her back to me.  Heal her wounds and bring her back to me, I swear to you I’ll care for her, honor her and never let her leave me again.  I’ll do whatever it takes Lord, please, just free me from this pain I feel.  It’s too much to bear without her.

#lover #false god #outlander #outlander fanfic #outlander fic #outlander fanfiction #jamie fraser #claire beauchamp #jamie x claire #modern au #inspired by taylor swift #angst #i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry

[shirtlesssammy]

How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters: 7x09 Recap

Then:

Sam and Dean are well on their way to losing EVERYTHING

Now:

Pine Barrons, New Jersey

In a well furnished camper in the woods, a glamping couple enjoys a nice evening of TV before snuggling into their sleeping bags for the night (lol, the husband turned on his nature sounds audio to lull himself to sleep.)

We cut to finding the husband trussed up in a tree like a deer in November. He awakens to a horrible snarling noise, before becoming the subsequent chowfest of the blood cannon. Man, that thing’ll get you every time!

The brothers and Bobby find themselves in an abandoned safe house. Living off the grid is not agreeing with Dean. Life isn’t agreeing with Dean. He is 100% done with it all, and asks why they always have to steer the bus away from the cliff. “What if the bus wants to go over the cliff?” he wonders, and then self-medicates with a beer.

Sam and Bobby proceed to look into the monster of the week: The Jersey Devil. It’s been terrorizing the woods in the area for ages. Time to hunt!

Well, time to FBI, and then hunt!

The boys head to the local Biggerson’s to interview Ranger Rick, and amiable fellow to say the least.

They ask him about “the human burrito” attack. He has no clue what’s out there, but it sure wasn’t a bear attack. Rick, and his assistant ranger, Phil, have found leftovers of animals all over the wood lately. Rick then realizes that he hasn’t seen Phil in a couple of days, and offhandedly mentions that he should report that. A suited up Bobby shows up. Dean gives Ranger Rick his number, and the brothers excuse themselves.

Bobby’s back from morgue duty and reports, while he couldn’t rule of Jersey Devil, they’re not dealing with levithan or werewolf or wendigo. Dean suggests lunch! They ask for a table, and get a crap-ton of attitude from, Brandon, a passing waiter. Dean’s “Do you want to look like a hostess?” was quality.

Bobby hopes they don’t end up in Brandon’s section. 

Brandon: Sidewinder soup and salad combo goes to Big Bird.

Brandon: TDK slammer to Ken Doll.

Brandon: And a little heart-smart for creepy uncle.

He’s SO MEAN, but I can’t help but laugh at the nicknames. The guys have no clue what the hell is Brandon’s problem. Dean just comes out and asks, “What the hell is your problem?” “YOU are my problem!” Brandon responds, and storms off.

They discuss the case and the fact that Ranger Rick is “definitely growing his own on the back 40 and smoking all the profits.” Dean is quickly distracted with the stunning decadence of his delicious sandwich: The Pepperjack Turducken Slammer! “It’s like the perfect storm of your top three edible birds.” Jesus Christ show. PRACTICALLY EVERY LINE IS PERFECT IN THIS EPISODE. They then watch Brandon lose his shit again, this time to his boss, and walk off. No worries, though, Dean’s got his delicious, delicious burger.

The trio head out into the woods. This whole hunting sequence always hurts a bit. They reminisce about hunting -or at least tracking forest animals- in Sam and Dean’s youth. It’s such a coming of age/bonding thing that Bobby would do with the boys. Their lives were nothing but hunting, but this --this was something normal the three could do together, to forget about the real world, and the monsters that live in it. It’s interesting that he could never get them to kill an animal though. I miss Bobby. 

The three come across another trussed up victim, and call Ranger Rick. Later, when Rick arrives, his just as stoned as ever, and casually suggests calling in that they found Phil, dead. Without urgency, Rick calls in the  murder. Bobby senses something is wrong and before they can really warn Rick, he’s grabbed from behind. The others chase them into the woods. Bobby realizes that the monster has Rick in the trees, tells the brothers to shut up, turn off their flashlights, and listen. They hear the monster eating Rick (“Man, I liked Rick.” Oh, Dean Bean.) In the dark, Bobby shoots the thing out of the trees. They leave what’s left of Rick for the other rangers to find, and head back to the safe house with the monster for a research break.

They’re marveling at the fact that a single, normal bullet took the thing down, when it springs to life! Several more rounds of regular bullets really take it out this time. Dean checks for ID, and concerned comment about the ruined wallet leather rings some bells with Bobby. Dean’s great though.

Bobby pokes at the once-human thing, and comes back with weird, gray goo on the stick.

Autopsy time!

While Sam and Bobby are elbow deep in gray goo, Dean wonders when it’s chow time.

They find lots of Ranger Rick, a pine cone, a pack of gum, and a cat’s head. And one very enlarged, discolored adrenal gland. Sam knows they’re not dealing with the Jersey Devil, but whatever they’re dealing with isn’t human anymore either. Dean interrupts with a VERY IMPORTANT SITUATION: “It's time for dinner?” The perfunctory wtf looks Sam and Bobby give him say it all.

Back at Biggerson’s, Dean’s chowing down on his Pepperjack Turducken Slammer, while Sam exposits on the missing people and their pine cone eating monster man. Sam asks for Dean’s point of view, but he “could give two shakes of a rat's ass.” I know you’re going through a serious situation here, and eating those turducken slammers are really, really, bad, but you’re TOO CUTE, Dean. I kind of wish he could have coasted on these burgers until he found Cas again, I swear.

Dean’s behaviour makes Sam look around and realize everyone else in the restaurant is also acting slow, sluggish and high. They head back to the house with their leftovers.

Bobby and Sam stage an intervention. There’s something wrong with Dean. He is way too chill and acts like he’s stoned. Dean begs to differ. He’s never felt so good! “Cas, black goo, I don’t even care anymore.” (Boris interjects: The layers to Dean’s pain! It’s Cas --not the car, not Bobby’s house--and “I don’t care that I don’t care”, gah. Not hopped up on his turducken burger means that he cares that he cares.) Speaking of ooze, Dean’s sandwich burps out gray liquid. (shudder)

Dean eyes his meal with horror. “I think you pissed off my sandwich.” They identify the nasty ooze as what was filling their deranged predator. Whatever is turning Dean into “an idiot” (in Sam’s words) is in the meat everyone’s eating. “If I wasn't so chilled out right now, I would puke,” Dean says, wide-eyed.

Later at Biggerson’s Sam and Bobby man the surveillance van while Dean sleeps off the turducken slammer in the back seat. Sam frets over Dean, saying that Dean seems to be going through the motions these days. Bobby scoffs at his worry, calling Sam out on the endless cycle of worry that passes between the Winchester boys. Shouldn’t Sam be focused on his own trauma? Sam assures Bobby that he shouldn’t worry about him.

Sam: ...at least all my crazy's under one umbrella, you know? I kind of know what I'm dealing with. A lot of people got it worse.

Bobby: You always were one deep little son of a bitch.

Me: Accurate.

A truck pulls up to the Biggerson’s and they watch as a man wheels inside unmarked INSIDIOUS boxes. They follow the delivery truck. Just afterwards, one of the waitresses walks outside when the Pieces-of-Flair waiter jumps out at her, crazed. He gets knocked out by Leviathan Edgar.

Bobby and the Winchesters trail the delivery truck to a warehouse where they spot Edgar and friends hauling in Pieces-of-Flair with a bag over his head.

Inside, Edgar chats with everybody’s favorite leviathan physician, Doctor Gaines. They’ve been experimenting with the turducken formula and Edgar chides him over the results. They haven’t perfected it; there are still outliers, aka hyperaggressive people. Edgar orders him to torch all the aggressive people because Dick Roman is on his way to town.

The next morning Bobby and Dean run surveillance in the van. Dean’s slamming coffee. Bobby asks Dean how he’s doing - and he doesn’t mean physically. He wants to talk to Dean about his world-wants-to-end outlook on life. Dean snaps at him, telling him that he’s reacting like any normal human.

So Bobby drops more truth bombs.

Bobby: I've seen a lot of hunters live and die. You're starting to talk like one of the dead ones.

Dean: No, I'm talking the way a person talks when they've had it, when they can't figure out why they used to think all this mattered.

Bobby tells him to get over his shit. He’s a hunter, so he needs to pull up his panties and get his head in the game or he’ll get killed. Bobby’s prevented from further ranting by Sam hopping back in the van. Something’s going down… “I’ll be a squirrel in a skirt,” Bobby mutters. It’s Dick Roman! 

Cut to a video montage of Dick Roman footage. He’s taking over companies left and right. He’s even getting some attention in conservative political channels.

Commentator: Roman is ruthless, but good-looking. I think he'll make a great candidate.

(shudders)

It all clicks for Dean. “Remember when Crowley kept going on about hating Dick? I thought he was just being general.” Lol, Dean. And then a few seasons later you and Crowley had your summer of love.

Bobby hooks up a high tech listening device he’d borrowed from Frank. They’re ready to eavesdrop.

Cut to a living room. A family sits slowly eating turducken sandwiches and watching surgery on TV. Dick, pleased, watches over them with narration by Doctor Gaines. Their food tests have been going great! The food has maximized weight gain, minimized intellect, and one bite fuels their desire for more. Heck, the test family hasn’t even noticed that Grandma died. Dick’s pleased but not SUPER pleased. He asks Doctor Gaines about his failures.

Dun dun DUN. Dick asks about the Reapers crazed cannibals who have been showing up in the local paper. Dick pretty much hates any publicity getting near their nefarious dealings. The future ain’t so sunny for Doctor Gaines.

Bobby, perched atop the opposite building, mans the listening device and watches the building with binoculars. Dick and Doctor Gaines convene a meeting in an office across from Bobby. Dick tells Doctor Gaines that he’s violated the cardinal rule, “There’s no such thing as monsters.”

Gaines begs for a chance to make it right but it’s too late. He’s going to be “bibbed.” Roman’s assistant pulls out a plastic lobster bib and ties it around the doctor’s neck. His face splits into a leviathan maw and he begins to eat himself, per Dick’s orders.

Dean and Sam find Bobby’s abandoned surveillance station and Dean…just gets this lost look for a moment. He proposes busting in through the front door.

Inside Dick and his assistant work through some paperwork in front of a surly Bobby. Dick asks him calmly how he’s doing and tells him that leviathans can take anybody - be it powerful Dick Roman or Bobby Singer.

Dick lays a huge condescending monologue on Bobby about Earth and the cute widdle humans with their texting and murder… “I’m gonna eat you, Bob,” Dick tells him quietly. But first he’s gonna lure in Bobby’s friends, the Winchesters.

The Winchesters ain’t dumb enough to storm the facility, Bobby protests...right before Sam and Dean bust in spraying borax like a crazed perfume sprayer in an old timey mall. The leviathans scream and clutch their burning faces and in the office above, Dick Roman hears the din. Dick heads off to check out the mess while Bobby springs up to check out maps and other intel on Dick’s desk. He grabs a gun and a folder then busts past Dick’s assistant and out the door.

Sam sprays down Dick Roman with borax, but he seems to shake it off much easier than the others. Bobby shoots him with his purloined gun, then Dean tosses a bucket of borax onto Dick. They run out the door, but Bobby’s running behind. He jumps into the van at last and they drive away. Dick Roman gets in three shots while the van rolls out.

Sam hands Bobby his hat which had fallen into the front seat, only realizing a moment later that there’s a bloody hole in the front. The boys shout at Bobby who is...unresponsive.

Natasha: As I was watching this episode I was thinking...man, the boys are sure lucky to have Bobby keeping them grounded and mentally honest with themselves. And then I realized...it was TOO nice and oh yeah, Bobby’s gonna die soon. How did I forget this?

Boris: Yeah, I forgot why I don’t rewatch this episode. Bobby!

My Quotes are Doing JUST FINE:

Motel 6 just ain’t leaving the light on anymore.

What if the bus wants to go over the cliff?

You got to respect Mother Nature. You respect her, or she's gonna string you up, and she'll eat your ass right through the Gore-Tex.

Brendan’s got his flair all up in a bunch.

A bunch of birds shoved up in each other. You don’t play god like that.

A glamper or two is one thing but you gotta be damn hungry to eat a cat’s head.

I don't care that I don't care.

You get a case of the Anne Sextons, something's gonna come up behind you and rip your fool head off.

That’s not how we communicate from a place of “yes”.

I sure hope we don’t get Brandon’s section.

Do rats shake their ass, or is it something else?

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#spn recap #spn rewatch #spn picspam #spn 7x09 #how to win friends and influence monsters #dean winchester #sam winchester #bobby singer #dick roman #supernatural season 7 #he was my ben edlund thing

[longforgottenunofficial]

The Decapitated Knight

As we slowly wend our way through the graveyard, we continue to stop and to dig here and there, looking for the cultural roots or original inspirations buried beneath the various specters presented to us.  We've just finished looking at the band and the hearse tea party, and earlier we looked at the mummy and the operatic pair.  So what's say we wander over and take a look at the decapitated knight?  Let's see, in our last post we were standing in front of the tea party, so if we cut across, the knight should be easy to find.  See him?  A head, over on the right hand.

Some might think that the idea of a ghost carrying his head around is an original idea, or if not absolutely original, then an adaptation of the Headless Horseman from The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, a character thoroughly disney-fied in the 1949 film, The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad.  But actually, these kinds of ghosts are quite traditional.  There's a little lane in Wortley, England (near Leeds), where the ghost of a Yorkshire nobleman executed during the English Civil War is reportedly seen once or twice a year, carrying his head beneath his arm.  In 1760, it was reported that a headless priest was busily haunting a small village outside of Paris.  The Christian martyr St. Denis reportedly scared the hell out of his persecutors by appearing as a ghost with his head in his hands and giving it the old boogity boogity boogity.  Here's an 18th c. illustration.

Wow.  He looks ready to join the lineup at the Haunted Mansion (except that he's a clergyman, but we'll talk about that in a future post).  There is actually a lively tradition of beheaded martyrs behaving in this way (they're called Cephalophores; a big hat tip to ttintagel for drawing my attention to these). Between these firmly attested traditions of headless ghosts and the Sleepy Hollow connection, it's no surprise that both Ken Anderson and Marc Davis created a number of some-assembly-required spirits for inclusion in what became the Haunted Mansion.  In fact, Anderson was going to make the Headless Horseman himself the star of the show in one version of his Ghost House.

That looks like it could be concept art for the 1949 film, but in fact it's Anderson's sketch of the Ghost House version.  The old pumpkin chucker wasn't going to have a monopoly on the gag, however. Anderson also wanted ghosts based on historical characters, and in one script he had Anne Boleyn running around screaming and falling down at the top of the stairs as her wailing head rolled on down toward us.  Bumpity bump.  (How cool is that.)  In other scripts it was a bride character who had a hard time keeping her noggin in place.  He also sketched what looks like a decapitated pirate.

When Marc Davis took charge of things, he apparently liked the Boleyn character and dreamed up a changing portrait in which her husband Henry VIII is haunted by an understandably crabby Anne.

In time it was decided not to populate the Mansion with historical or literary ghosts.  There were still plenty of decapitated spooks left in the suggestion box, however.  Why not?  They're creepy enough even without a famous name attached to them.  For his part, Davis thought it would be fun if the afterlife featured topless women:

Then there's the Hat Box Ghost, and maybe Madame Leota.  After all this, you might conclude that the decapitated knight was just another twist on the same gag.  If Anderson could have a pirate; Davis could have a knight, right?  No significance to the figure itself, right? I wouldn't be too sure about that.  If you start probing for the origins of the "decapitated knight" figure, you strike paydirt right away. He goes back to Celtic mythology and shows up in medieval literature, most famously Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, which was written about 1350.  When I was an English major in college (which was also in the middle ages), everyone was expected to read Gawain at some point.  It was like Beowulf; like it or not, you couldn't avoid it.  Nowadays I don't know if Gawain is still a regular on the college reading lists.  Here's an illustration of the beheaded Green Knight found on the original manuscript of Gawain, probably the most direct ancestor of our DL version.  Note that he's holding it on his outstretched hand.

What's weird about the decapitated knight is that he isn't a ghostly figure by any stretch. He's part of a literary motif called the "Beheading Game."  Basically, it goes like this: A stranger shows up at the court and challenges them to behead him, on the condition that he be allowed to do the same at some future point in his own court. The hero of the tale accepts the challenge and beheads the stranger, who does not die but returns home. Later, the hero keeps his promise and goes to the foreign court, encountering numerous tests and trials in the process, opportunities for him to prove his chivalry, loyalty, honesty, etc. The stranger either lets him off the hook or goes ahead and beheads him, after which he cheerfully returns home, none the worse for wear. The most bizarre thing about this bizarre motif is how popular it was. Sir Gawain and the Green Knight is the most famous example, but the same motif is used in other medieval poems and romances going back to the 8th century—which is basically the same thing as saying that no one knows how old it is, since we start running out of literary sources about that point. Since the beheadings don't kill anybody in these stories, the presence of the beheading game immediately signals that the literature you're reading is fantasy or myth. Like I said, a popular interpretation is that it goes back to pagan Celtic mythology, probably something about the turning of the year, as the new year slays the old year, only to be slain himself after the passing of a year. Naturally, Freud has his own ideas what this head chopping is all about, and there is no lack of other interpretations.  Sir Gawain is amenable to a Christian reading, for example. Point is, the decapitated knight as a fixture in Western consciousness is not rooted in ghost tales at all but in myth and fantasy. In his origins, he was not a frightening figure. Marc Davis and the Decapitated Knight Maybe it's the fact that the knight is not just another random candidate for the "decapitated ghost" gag but the tip of a much bigger and older cultural iceberg that explains Marc Davis's unusual attachment to the character.  One might even say stubborn attachment, for when you see the knight in his current graveyard setting you are seeing Marc's fourth attempt to get him into the Mansion.  I'm not sure of the order of the other three attempts, so the following account is a little arbitrary as far as sequence is concerned, although there are a few flimsy clues. In what may be the original concept, Marc presented the knight as a very fierce, stand-alone character.  Notice the dead guy in the background.  Don't be that guy.  

Tender is the knight—NOT. After it was decided that the graveyard scene should be a jumpin' jamboree and not a horror show (in no small measure due to Davis's own influence), it must have been plain that this scary dude was not going to be invited.  They put this artwork on a postcard eventually, and the caption writer practically admits that this portrait is out of step:

(If I were you I wouldn't put too much weight on that "1964" date.  Postcard captions are not too reliable.) Steeerike One!

Like I say, Davis evidently liked the character and re-submitted him as a possible hitchhiking ghost.

But the HHG gag that they ended up using plays off of the many urban legends about hitchhiking ghosts, who are never terribly distant in time from the unlucky folk who pick them up. You never hear about ghostly hitchhikers who are Roman soldiers or medieval monks, do you?  For one thing, you wouldn't understand their language.  The three HHG's in the HM are ambiguous: they are certainly a little old-fashioned looking, but not figures from remote antiquity. The decapitated knight wouldn't work as a HHG. Steeerike Two! Well, goshdang it, how about the decapitated knight as an opera singer?  Yeah, that's it, an opera singer.

This 1968 drawing is labeled as an opera scene.  Get it? "a knight at the opera."  Oh, that Marc!  This one may be his third attempt since it seems like it got a little further in the process: there's a maquette figure of the knight.

The problem, of course, is that a much funnier opera pair also emerged from Marc's pencil, and there was no doubt who would get the gig.

Steeerike Three! But Marc was not going to give up on the DK.  Come on, think.  There must be some way to get him in there.  What to do, what to do.... *lightbulb* Hey, wait a sec.  Somewhere in that thick pile of HM ideas there's this concept of a pair of ghosts, the Jailer and the Prisoner...

The jailer is already implicitly an executioner as well, what with that mask and all.  Well, why not make him specifically a headsman?  He could hold a keyring in one hand, and an axe in the other.  That's it: make the duo a trio, with the central character relating to the one character as his jailer and to the other character as his executioner. And so it was.

By the way, can someone explain to me why he's always called the "headless knight"?  What's that thing he's got in his hand?

Originally Posted: Wednesday, July 7, 2010 Original Link: [x]

#long forgotten #haunted mansion #decapitated knight