#Like most people don't just go “it's the autism” or “I'm so autistic” and when a random person or a new friend does it to you it's odd | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

drdemonprince · 2 days

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in regards to the concept of abled people not existing/abled folks being expected to do more in relationships with disabled folks... You make some good points about us all being disabled in different ways and not recognizing it, but I still feel that there's quite a vsst gap materially between say, an ADHDer who can lift and push 50lbs easily/without pain and one who can't. And i have run into big roadblocks in relationships with other lefty types as the person who can't! And I think that expectation should be talked about and accepted more because I know a lot of "leftists" who would never think to apply this to stuff like doing the dishes because they're hellbent on everyone doing Equal Amounts. It's all fun and IG graphics about disability justice until they decide that youre Nonbinary roomate named sock who doesnt do the dishes etc etc , then see yourselves to the door!

You're absolutely right that there are differences in what various disabled people can do and the privileges that affords. It's glaringly obvious as a problem in Autism spaces, where people who can mask and speak like me are listened to and trusted and frequently talk over people who are nonverbal and cannot mask.

Even there, though, there are massive problems in attempting to rank-order someone's level of ability rather than just speaking specifically about these things in terms of privileges and oppressions. People assume I'm capable of all kinds of things I am not capable of, for instance, or hold me to ableist standards of productivity and ability because I "seem more capable. And Autistic people whose disabilities are more obvious have the opposite problem -- they are denied agency, presumed to be incompetent, not permitted to take on challenges they could find stimulating and worthwhile, and are dehumanized, etc.

And so where I'm getting with this is that we can't determine from the outside what a person is capable of doing, or what they should be capable of doing. It's not that far of a logical path to go from saying "Oh, this ADHDer is not physically disabled, they can lift 50 pounds, they can do a lot of things that I can't do" to saying "This ADHDer didn't unpack all our luggage for two weeks after our trip, they are lazy and not pulling their weight."

Someone might have the literal physical ability to do something in terms of strength or mobility, but not have the ability to complete a task because of the disabilities they do have (ADHD, in this case), and even if we are disabled ourselves we may be primed to see those people as lazy, uncaring, not pulling their weight, and all kinds of ableist interpretations.

So broadly I get your point, it is undoubtedly true some of us have abilities that others don't. but I think there's no way to put this idea into practice beyond just trusting people when they say they cannot do a thing, and not passing harsh judgement against people we think ought to be able to do a thing but don't (and maybe can't). This goes back to the original point of the discussion -- wondering why so many other people seem to fail disabled people and not show up for them.

To your second point, about a lot of even leftist people bringing therapy and instagram infographic "boundary setting" advice to their relationships and expecting all chores to be divided up equally, yeah that's a big problem and it's been a big problem in interpersonal relationships for many decades at this point. Most people overestimate the portion of the chores that they do, underestimate the work their partners or housemates do, and aspire to "equity" in a way that drives them absolutely crazy with score-keeping and resentment. There's a lot of research on how that outlook absolutely poisons heterosexual relationships and has done so pretty much ever since women started getting the ability to say no to a chore. It's a big problem of individualism under capitalism at its root, I think.

And the social change needed is much the same thing -- people need to learn to actually trust their loved ones when they say they cannot do the dishes, cannot clean the gutters, can't drop off the rent check, etc. I think a disability justice politics of raising everyone's class consciousness regarding their own disabilities and others is the way to go, and a massive strengthening of community ties.

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diapause · 6 months

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I need to just stop looking at the comments of any ig post on physical disability whether it's positive or otherwise because it is 99% "As someone with Aspergers-" this isn't ABOUT YOU!

#I'm autistic don't come for me #like some things are specific to physical disabilities. why are you giving your pov on someone talking about strangers pushing their chair+#without permission #'ohhh im neurodivergent so I dont understand why you wouldnt be okay w this and im making that Your problemmm'#fucking learn and fucking shut up #like being autistic or having adhd isnt a free ableism pass that you can use against everyone else #'theyre just trying to help even though they kept going when you told them to stop you should just let people help!'#so you believe disabled people aren't allowed autonomy? oh wait unless they're your Particular brand of disabled #although tbh I think most people who specifically id as haveing aspergers Not autism probably see literally every single #other disabled person in existence as lesser to them lmao

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sherlock-is-ace · 2 years

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#i haven't stopped thinking about the possibility of me being autistic since i came to the realization that it might be a thing #like i have aggressive mixed feelings about it most of them are that i'm just stupid and faking things #i'm not happy that i read stuff now that i'm watching a tv show with an autistic character #it makes me feel like a child that's trying to ''be like their blorbo''#but also it might be an actual thing that would explain other things #but also i have no memory of what my childhood was so i don't know if i'm just stupid now or i've been autistic all my life #(by ''stupid now'' i mean that i'm faking shit now btw NOT that autistic people are stupid)#but then it can all be adhd which is very likely or maybe is both things?#i'm confused and googling shit isn't helping and i'm sort of spiraling!!!#and it's horribly dysphoria inducing to google stuff because i have to google ''autism in women''#because of biology. hormones and the like as well as the way i was raised...#i'm just confused and i feel guilty and i would LOVE to go to an actual professional who can tell me real information but alas i can't #so i can only google stuff. spiral into madness. and complain on tumblr dot com #i hate this 👌🏻#i feel like when i was figuring out being trans and everythign was confusing and i felt like such a poser?#at least that one turned out to be ture #this one? not sure #god i hate my brain #angel talks #personal

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cannedsoupcansoup · 5 months

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I can't be the only person out there who actually doesn't like the normalisation of neurodivergent terms in broader Internet culture... Like, no, actually, don't respond with "it's the autism" when I do something, three years ago that would be abelist, now it's a cute joke????

#And the excuse is always that they're also autistic and like self-diagnosis is OK if you actually do it correctly and get more opinions but #Just watching a tiktok and being like “me fr” is not the same #And like it's also the “here's something to be hyperfixated about”#Girlie that's not what hyperfixation is #And just going 'that's/they're so autistic' is also the same #I feel like people are just using it as an excuse to make fun of me #Because everytime I interact with other autistic people we only ever say we're autistic when we meet and understand why we speak like that #Like most people don't just go “it's the autism” or “I'm so autistic” and when a random person or a new friend does it to you it's odd #Anyways #actually autistic #Adhd #Autism #Actually adhd #tumblr #Rant

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weird-and-unwell · 4 months

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“Autism isn’t a disability”, “it’s just a difference”.

I am of lower support needs. I hold down a (part time) job. I have travelled around my home country. I live alone.

At work they complain about my speech. I’m too quiet, they say, “barely audible” is the words used at my autism assessment. My voice is all monotone, and it needs to be more expressive. I get this complaint every week for a year straight, until my manager gives up. I don’t attend trainings because I forget and find it overwhelming anyways. My coworkers form friendships, and I watch them talk, wondering how they make it look so easy. I get a new manager, I tell her I find the work socials too overwhelming to attend. She tells me I can just say I don’t want to come. I don’t know how to tell her that I desperately want to, to be like the rest of my coworkers, instead of constantly being the one sat on the sidelines.

I come home, and I can hear my neighbours again. The niggling background noise messes with my head, and I meltdown; I throw myself on the floor, I hit my head on the ground repeatedly as I scream and cry, tear out my hair and scratch my arms and face. When I complain, people tell me that I just have to accept that neighbours make noise, that I should just ignore it, or block it out. I am the problem, the one overreacting. I put in earplugs and it hurts and I'm crying again. I wear headphones but I can't handle the noise for that long.

I have reminders set for everything. Every chore, no matter how big or small. My phone beeps at me, reminding me that I need to wash the dishes. If I don't go now, then tick the little box on my phone to say I did it, it won't get done. My home is almost always a mess despite this. It's not just chores either. I won't think to wash, dress myself, brush my teeth or hair, without those reminders. And unless someone actively prompts me to do so, I will do those tasks "wrong". I haven't changed my underwear in a month, and I'm currently aware that's a problem, but within the hour I'm going to forget all over again until I'm next prompted.

I can't sleep without medication - it's not unusual for autistic people to have messed up circadian rhythms. Without my medication it's hard to even tell when I'm awake and when I'm asleep. When I was younger and at school I slept through so many lessons, and when I have my mandatory breaks from my sleep meds I sleep through every alarm I set. I want to work full time some day, and I'm terrified of what my sleep issue will mean for me then.

I don't travel independently. I don't travel anywhere alone, always with someone or to someone. If to someone, I have assistance the whole way. I find it embarrassing sometimes. Yes, I have a job that requires a certain level of intelligence. No, I cannot get on a train by myself. If I am not shown To The Train, To My Seat, I will be unable to travel.

Last time I travelled, I was left alone at the station for ten minutes. I stayed rigid and sobbed the whole time. I was overwhelmed. It was too loud, I didn't know where I was or where I was meant to be going, and until the assistance person came back I couldn't do anything because for some reason I cannot understand it.

I spend a lot of time trying to explain to people that despite my relative competence, I am unable to do many things. Why can I understand high level maths but not how to get on a damn train? No fucking idea.

"Autism isn't a disability" most severely affects those with higher support needs, and this is absolutely not to take away from them. But for fucks sake, autism is disabling.

Maybe you personally are extremely lucky and just find you're a little "socially awkward", or just find some textures painful or nauseating. Maybe you would be fine with just a couple of adjustments.

But for a lot of us, even lower support needs autistics, it doesn't work like that. I will never sleep properly without medication. I still have the self-harming type of meltdowns as an adult, over things that are deemed as being "just part of life". I live alone but have daily visits from family - if I'm left fully alone I forget all the little daily things one is "meant" to do. I had speech therapy as a child to get me to the "barely audible" "mostly correct" speech. I don't mask, I'm not really sure how I would to begin with.

I'm not unhappy with being autistic. It's just who I am. Life would be easier if I were neurotypical, but I also wouldn't be me. I just wish those luckier than me could...stop saying it's all chill and not at all a disability.

Because yes, socially, I am "awkward". I obviously don't make eye contact - I stare down and to the side of whoever I speak to. People think it's weird or creepy or a sign of disinterest. My autism assessor wrote down about how I often use words and phrases that don't make sense to others, even though they make perfect sense to me. In my daily life this means I'm frequently misunderstood, and have to try explain what I mean, when what I mean is exactly what I said, and the true issue is that what I mean just doesn't make sense to others. I gesture, at times, but again, my gestures apparently don't make sense in relation to what I'm saying. I take things literally, I have almost no filter, and I can't explain how I go from topic to topic.

And yes, I do have sensory problems. Sometimes people, including others with sensory problems, tell me that "sometimes sensory issues have to be tolerated", and I wonder what they think of as being sensory issues. I'm sure they do struggle, but if I say I can't handle a touch, I mean you will need to forcefully hold it against me for me to touch it more than a second and it will make me meltdown. If I say "I can't eat that", I mean that I am unable to swallow it, that I will gag and choke and inevitably spit it back out, as much as I try. If I say I can't handle a noise, I mean I'm so close to a meltdown and my meltdowns are a problem for everyone around me.

But yes. Autism. Not a disability. Just a fun quirky difference.

#actually autistic #autistic #long post #autism

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silvermoon424 · 3 months

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Coming to terms with the fact that society hates autistic people

I just saw some comments that were like "If you're autistic, neurotypical people hate you" and "growing up as autistic in our neurotypical society is almost always inherently traumatizing." And you know what? I absolutely agree. It really resonates with me to hear fellow autistic and generally neurodivergent people talk about the hate, rejection, misunderstanding, and even dehumanization we receive from most neurotypicals.

My entire childhood was spent being the "weird girl" until I got good enough at masking to fit in better. Even now, as an adult, I get negative comments from my own (neurotypical) parents when I display certain neurodivergent behaviors. My family is always like "that's so Katy" and shake their heads when I act "too" autistic and it feels so fucking patronizing. I've had negative experiences and even disciplinary action at jobs I've had for exhibiting neurodivergent behavior (usually related to my ADHD, but sometimes autism too). My entire fucking life I've been told by society to not act too much like myself or else I'll put everyone off.

And then you see people being sympathetic to the parents of autistic children who abuse or even kill them. "It's sad, but it's understandable" neurotypical people say. Videos of autistic children having meltdowns are full of people saying that they should be locked up because they're no better than animals. We're seen as a burden, a drain on society, who are only tolerated if we learn to act "normal" and don't make the neurotypicals uncomfortable. Autistic people are front and center in "cringe" compilations and are ruthlessly bullied.

If I'm being honest, I'm still unlearning a lot of ableist thoughts that were instilled in me growing up. I sometimes catch myself thinking that other autistic people are annoying, and I have to stop myself and think "Do you really find them annoying, or were you programmed to be dismissive of people who don't act neurotypically enough?"

Anyway, idk where I'm going with this text wall. The older I get, the more I become aware of how much I've been harmed by an extremely ableist society, and it breaks my heart that more neurodivergent kids are being taught to suppress their true selves the way I was.

#actually autistic #actually neurodivergent #neurodivergent #autistic adult #autistic experiences #rant #personal

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creature-wizard · 3 months

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How the mythology of starseeds, indigo children, crystal children, rainbow children, etc. harms kids

Something I didn't talk about in my last post is how New Age is often harmful to young children, so I'm going to talk about it here.

Here's a quick rundown on terminology for anyone who doesn't already know:

Starseed: An alien soul incarnated in a human body, typically for the purpose of "raising the Earth's vibrational frequency" (read: convert people to New Age beliefs).

Indigo/Crystal/Rainbow Child: A child born with a spiritually advanced soul, whose life purpose is to bring the New Age into being.

If you do a quick websearch on any of these terms, you'll find that the alleged signs of being one of these overlaps with traits associated with autism and ADHD. Many websites will just straight-out say that these children are commonly mistaken for having autism or ADHD. Sometimes you'll find people who claim autism and ADHD don't actually exist at all, but were created by the conspiracy to control and suppress these kids.

What often happens is that New Age parents see their autistic and ADHD children displaying these "signs," and decide that their kids are one of these special souls. So rather than giving their children the help and support they actually need, they project and burden them with incredibly high expectations. We're talking about parents expecting their kids to be able to work miracles or have access to all of this incredibly advanced wisdom that they simply just don't.

Various people I've seen on this website who were raised by New Age parents have spoken about how this kind of thing messed them up. They basically have religious trauma from it. Deciding that your kid has special powers and a special purpose because they meet a very spurious criteria is not okay.

When I was a kid, I absolutely would have fit most definitions of a starseed. I believed in magic, fairies, aliens, and psychic powers. Sci-fi and fantasy was my jam. I loved to draw and play elaborate games of pretend. The idea of helping and healing people appealed to me majorly. And, well, I had undiagnosed autism and ADHD.

But you know what I didn't have?

The kind of special spiritual gifts and innate wisdom people associate with starseeds and the rest.

In fact, as far as I could tell, everyone around me seemed to be more psychically and spiritually gifted than me, for no reason I could ever work out. It was actually kind of traumatizing, because I felt like something was wrong with me.

So yeah, deciding a kid must be some special, extra-magical kind of soul because they have certain characteristics and interests is really not good. Parents who do this are essentially forcing their own egos onto their children, who will very likely end up traumatized from the whole ordeal.

#new age #starseed #starseeds #crystal children #crystal child #indigo children #indigo child #rainbow children #rainbow child #ableism #adhd #autism #religious abuse #spiritual abuse #neurodiversity

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peachseashell · 7 months

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Hi :)

Can I request Xiao and Wanderer (separately) with an autistic s/o pls? Gender neutral reader if it's possible thank you!!

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ Special to me

Xiao and Wanderer with an autistic s/o

Gender neutral reader

Genre: fluff

Warnings: food textures (sensory issues), reader is kinda emotional and Introverted, Wanderer is kinda toxic and possessive, mentions of anxiety.

Notes: I was actually so excited to write this because I love these characters and I'm also diagnosed with autism so it makes me so happy writing about something that I can easily portray! So thanks for your request ml 💕

Xiao

- He has little knowledge of human and abilities and basically anything about them apart from they work, eat and sleep. He never really fussed over it much until he met you and learned that you're quite different from all the other mortals he's encountered.

- You have to teach him about your needs, preferences, feelings, opinions as he doesn't always understand. He's scared that he won't know what to do when you're in an emotional state because he knows you feel things differently from others.

- I feel as though Xiao is a good listener and can sit in silence while you ramble on about anything you want, even thougg he may not understand a single thing about what's coming out of your mouth. He's also learned that he needs to be careful how he words things in case you misunderstand or take his harsh words to literally.

- This may just be me, but physical touch is something I'm not particularly fond of at all and I don't know if this is an autistic thing or just me. But anyway, Xiao's more than happy to give you your own well deserved space and alone time; though sometimes he can be very touch starved in my opinion.

- However, if you don't mind affection I can see Xiao warming up to you and leaning in closer and resting on you. This affection is mostly displayed during inside areas, usually when you're both very calm. Bedtime is when you can catch him most vulnerable and cuddling up to you like a snug bug in a rug.

- Xiao understands your eating issues and that sometimes your picky. You both share the dislike of certian textures and flavours, not just food but the feel of objects as well. For example, if a blanket is too scratchy or fish is too slimey, or shoes are too squeaky. Sensory issues are probably something he has in common with you.

Wanderer

- I feel as though Wanderer is very educated on this topic. Even if he is a puppet, I think perhaps he must of come across an autistic person and became curious, therefore leading him to want to learn more about it during his time as a fatui harbinger or maybe at the Akademiya.

- 100% remembers your likes and dislikes, never forgets them; keeps a secret diary all about you because he loves you so much. Buys you things to help with fidgeting and stress whenever you're distracted and loves hearing you ramble on about the littlest and strangest topics.

- No matter how confident he may be that he can look after you. He's helpless in a situation when you're completely exhausted and panicked or upset. Lets you shout at him to be honest because he knows it's not really personally against him. This may sound cruel, but he may leave you to let it out on your own in case he upsets you even more, the best thing he thinks to do is give you space.

- Of course after he'll cook you your favourite meal and dry any spilt tears, isn't he just so dreamy? Doesn't like to admit it but he loves it when you have nobody to turn to but him because he's the only one who understands. Holds your hand when you're nervous whenever you two go out and the anxiety takes over you.

- will hunt anyone down who makes fun of you for any habits, preferences or anything you have that makes you slightly unique; he just hates people who can't accept that disabilities aren't something to joke about. he just doesn't want to see you hurt because of someones stupid opinion, it makes his non existing heart twist and break.

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leidensygdom · 1 month

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Ok, I'm gonna start a post idea I had been pondering. If you're either mentally or physically disabled and you have opinions about representation, this is the thread for you!

So, I've been seeing more people trying to tackle the topic of autism in their stories, but I've felt some of it tries to woobify a bit what is to live with autism, or just focus on the more socially acceptable quirks of it. And as someone with autism/ADHD (was suspected of it for most of my life, got it finally diagnosed by my therapist (who specializes in autism and ADHD) last year), sometimes I'd like for people to acknowledge the more unsavoury parts of it, the weird quirks, etc.

So, this post is going to be about that- If you wanna help people understand how your disability/neurodivergency affects your life, feel free to add to it! Just mention what do you have (no need for a full list, just what you consider relevant to the post) and some experiences, quirks, anecdotes or such that you think that are not often seen in stories or media, and that you consider an important part of it. They don't need to be huge things! I encourage people to share just whatever they feel comfortable. My list is gonna be a mix of stuff, but yours can be very different. Let me start!

Clothes and how they feel was surprisingly one of the most disruptive parts of my autism. As a kid, if I was forced to wear something that caused me some bad texture/sensitivity issues, it would significantly affect my behaviour and performance. It took me many years to be allowed to use mostly sportswear. (And it turns out being a "girl" (not anymore) wearing only sportswear tends to cause a whole lot of bullying)

This happens even nowadays. I've found out that non-heeled boots are more comfortable to me than sport shoes, because feeling something against the back of my foot makes me feel overwhelmed. I tend to wear yoga pants under actual pants, because they keep the actual pants' seams from causing sensory issues. There's almost a sort of ritual on how do I need to combine clothes to be able to function "normally", mostly consisting on reducing how much they annoy me.

On that topic, hygiene is actually a huge thing too. As a kid, I wasn't allowed to shower daily. Days I didn't shower, no matter how much I tried to keep my hygiene in other days, were "bad days" to me. I would literally plan hanging out with friends or eating out around the days I was allowed to shower. I could physically feel the difference between the day I showered and the day I didn't (even if I washed my face, armpits, used the bidet, etc).

This is true even nowadays. I can thankfully now shower daily, which isn't recommended by a lot of experts (specially because it can damage your hair and skin), but it's more worth to me than having days where I feel like I shouldn't be seen in public.

Being overwhelmed sucks! Meltdowns are mostly associated with kids, mostly because adults either learn to mask them, or do everything they can to AVOID having that meltdown. I've mostly figured out routines and such. There's this one place we go eat out every other Tuesday- And in the hours we go in, there's a sort of silent corner that is always free. This week's schedule was a mess, so we went yesterday to that same place, and the silent corner was filled with a very loud group. I got extremely overwhelmed. But enough masking drilled to me means I just sat there unable to talk for maybe 30 minutes.

Autistic adults still do have autism and experience often the full spread of traits, they've just found ways to mask, or avoid being in situations where they do need to do that. I've adapted my life and routine to that. But sometimes I land on situations out of my comfort zone that will make me feel just like when I was a kid. I want to freelance online because I'm fully aware I can't perform properly in a public facing job.

Group projects sucked so much. I know they suck for most people, but most times it was easier for me to do the entirety of the project by myself and add the others' names to it than dealing with chasing people for their parts. My college had a 6-months-long massive group project in the last year, with a 7 people group, which obviously I couldn't do alone. The whole experience was so harmful in so many ways I've had several full therapy sessions talking about it :'')

One of the reasons it's because mental flexibility is HARD with autism. If i set a schedule, I expect that schedule to be followed. If people agree to do a part, I expect that part to be delivered (unless there's a proper reason) on due time. People hate this a lot usually! It will tear group projects apart!

Stimming can be harmless, or it can be very annoying to some. I tend to shake legs and play with something in my hands. I could easy this off drawing in classes- My high school found out that I was paying more attention when I was allowed to draw in classes, and my academic performance was pretty much perfect, so they gave me permission to do that.

However, I had a teacher in middle school that did forbid me from drawing. I stimmed during a class with pens- She got so mad she sent me home with a note to my parents they had to sign. Fun!

Not exactly an anecdote, but I am ace. I hate the discourse about "making an autistic person be aro or ace is infantilizing autism". Aro/ace people can have autism. That's just how it is. I've been infantilized a lot for being ace- Which only got worse because I am autistic, and people perceived some of my special interests as child-ish. The combo didn't make things easy.

On that topic, people will often be very patronizing of your opinions or takes for being autistic. I've had people debate my sexuality (or lack of thereof), my gender identity and presentation, my hobbies, my preferences for everything, down to "what do you want to eat tonight?". This isn't too different to shitty takes about how "autistic people are more prone to being affected by the trans activistsTM", because people assume autistic people can't choose on their own. Trust me: We can.

Anyhow, I'd love if this post could be a good compilation of these sort of anecdotes! I think it could help people who wanna learn more about what is it to live with specific disabilities (and how to better portray them in media)

#nd #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #disability #disabled #autism #adhd #neurodivergencies #long post

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she-who-seek-happiness · 3 months

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For those who have ADHD and/or autism.

I wanna to do a test to see if I'm autistic, have ADHD, both or neither. For some reason I'm terrified of knowing the truth. Sorry if I sound offensive at some point, I'm just writing about myself and don't mean to be mean at any point.

ADHD, the name changed right? Gonna use this one because I'm writing this quickly. If I have ok, that'd explain why I'm so forgetful and nothing catches my attention unless I'm interested in the topic. And why is so hard to focus. And why I never finish my projects. But I'm not hyper active. I'm a pretty calm person, I can't reall5sit and focus for too long, but give me a hair elastic thing and I'll play with it for hours while listening to you. And I'll be able to actually listen.

Don't ask me to look in your eyes tho, I will. But only for 5 minutes if you are lucky.

My mom a lot for times aska me for things and I completely forget about them, things that are important and I feel bad for forgetting.

But all of this could simply be me and no ADHD. I don't know.

Autism

Frankly I don't think I have autism. But the reports are just so relatable it scares me a bit. I was bullied a lot during my childhood. I remember in the first grade, I tried hard to make friends but I never was able to. To this day I don't know why. Why people didn't like me? I have a timeline of events in my head of my entire life, things that happened when I was 2 y.o. but I don't have details. I don't remember if i did something or not to be not liked. The first school that my parents put me in I was there for a year. In this whole year I didn't make a single friend. I remember I asked my parents for help to do a lost of people who were and weren't my friends simply to try to uncover the reason for that. Is this a sign of autism? Idk. Maybe I'm just out of the norm, but not autistic. Doesn't seem like autism. Autism is something that affects your day to day, every day life. I'm not sure if I have signs everyday.

I have trouble socializing. I have trouble making friends. I have trouble maintaining friendship. But I can understand sarcasm, jokes and I'm able to tell when people are sad or uncomfortable. so there's goes signs that the internet sites gave me. Sometimes I do have troubles talking and truly understanding what my parents say. Not because they are complex, but because I don't get it. There are easier ways to do things and they won't for some alien reason.

I have trouble understanding relationships, in the sense what it means to be in, part of or the different aspects of relationship. People expect things. Sometimes it feels like mathematical equations on which I have to be constant aware of. I gave to do this to get to that. A lot of times I feel like I'm manipulating the few relationships that I have big I can't see another way.

Don't you dare change my routine. I'll be messed up and although not cry, I'll be very close to. Unless the change is "we are not going outside of the house anymore", sudden things messes my little planned time. At the same time I can't really organize myself very well.

I do have some subjects on which I'm very passionate about. But I'm no genius on them and although I'd love to, I can't keep going on them for hours and hours because, as said before I can't communicate very well. My social skills are terrible, I don't know what to say most of the time but I feel like I should.

I don't think I have autism. I don't think I have ADHD. I think I'm only different from other people but can't put my finger exactly on what exactly. I don't feel like I really fall into the spectrum because I lack the usual signs. But I don't know how much of this is stereotyping both those conditions.

#autism #adhd #questions #help?????

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reallygoodguacamole · 9 months

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hey. don't feel bad about writing submas angst. gamefreak did that to them. exploring that space and playing in it is entirely reasonable. it makes sense to want to look at the twins' separation, and the different ways things could go after PLA/what happened to separate the two of them. just tag it, like you would anything else, and move on your happy way.

it does not make you ableist to explore canon. and hey, as an autistic adult? ive written a power fantasy where emmet gets to be unhinged with an axe! i have 5k of nonhuman ingo human emmet written up and not posted because when i was a kid i always hoped i was some fae thing and not human! my power fantasies encompass those things and so much more.

none of this is inherently ableist. emmet did not go apeshit because he is autistic- he went apeshit because the world stole the most important person out of his life and he would not let that stand. in any of the many aus i have where one twin or the other is nonhuman, it's not because they're autistic, it's because they're copying the other twin, and there's other people in the world that are also like that! it's my personal power fantasy, and I'm going to write it! it's not inherently ableist!

finally, certainly none of this is comparable to an extended hate campaign intended to wipe autistic people out of existence. don't feel bad about writing these things. tag them, make sure you're not doing it Because they're autistic. and then don't espouse any autism $peaks bullshit and you will be fine.

if you try to argue that your experience is more authentic/important than mine i will block you. please learn about competing access needs, and move on

#submas #im just. fucking tired bro.#a whole event got eaten in some kind of ouroborus apparently #the angst is canonical.#pre hisui? those train men arent sad #during? god i do not know what characters you're talking about if you think ingo or emmet are happy while separated #i am not going to debate this! im just exhausted of writing what i an autistic adult want to write #and then going to dig in the tag and seeing a brand new wave of remember! dont be ableist!#im not. thank you.#i am experiencing autism power fantasy moments #the guacamole mutters

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cat-downthestreet · 4 months

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hey, listen! this is a rant post about neurodivergent characters in Genshin and my frustration with the fandom's reading comprehension skills. if you're in a bad place or just don't like angry rants, please don't force yourself and go read something else instead. <3

Okay, so, I watched this video recently, and let's just say, I have some thoughts.

https://youtu.be/tYK3297p4rk?si=eMaf8NF57HFlUhfd

This isn't just a Xiao problem- the entire fandom is terrible at characterization. The example that makes me the most angry is the mischaracterization of neurodivergent characters.

Take Alhaitham for example. He's often seen as rude and narcissistic by the fandom- which is especially apparent in Haikaveh content, where people portray him as straight up abusive.

You wanna know why this makes me so mad? The supposedly narcissistic and rude traits Alhaitham has are actually just exaggerated symptoms of autism.

Like, come ON, people. Don't skip dialogue. Better yet, go read through his story quest again. He straight up tells someone who sees him as narcissistic that he doesn't see others as less than himself. Also, his voicelines basically confirm this- he's extremely socially inept and he doesn't care. He has difficulty showing emotions as readily as his peers- that doesn't mean he doesn't have them, just that he expresses them differently. He comes across as rude because he doesn't get that people don't like to hear what they're doing wrong, and he probably doesn't care because that's not his problem. If people don't like how blunt he is, that's their problem. At least, that's how I think he views the world.

And like, there are SO many hints that he's autistic. He wears sound-blocking earpieces, for crying out loud. Hell, the ENTIRE REASON why he helped out during the Archon quest was because he didn't want his life to change too much. Preferring routine is an autistic trait.

And the worst part is, when I talk about this outside of neurodivergent groups, people tell me I'm wrong and that he couldn't be autistic DESPITE THOSE PEOPLE NOT BEING AUTISTIC THEMSELVES.

And I'm not saying that every autistic person relates to Alhaitham, but I certainly do. And I'm actually quite friendly because I'm anxious about being rejected. Alhaitham isn't, and I'm so jealous of him for that. He's living his best life.

Finally, back to the Haikaveh thing... Alhaitham isn't abusive. He doesn't say horrible things to Kaveh, and the one example of him doing that I could find, he immediately backtracked and subtly tried to make Kaveh feel better. Hell, Alhaitham doesn't even actually care about making sure Kaveh pays rent. He says it as a joke, but because he's autistic and his tone of voice doesn't give that away as well, he's portrayed as abusive and misunderstood as narcissistic. Y'all just don't like neurodivergent people and it shows.

Yes, neurodivergent includes Xiao. PTSD is often viewed as a form of neurodivergency, and there are many MANY characters in Genshin that have PTSD or some other form of neurodivergence. Yet people refuse to see them as such and mischaracterize them as "edgy," "narcissistic," "unapproachable," "weird," and the like. Yet none of these characters are any of those things.

You wanna know the true narcissists? The true edgelords? The actually rude people? Might I direct your attention to Scaramouche, Childe, and Dottore, whom everyone makes out to be as misunderstood pathetic little meow meows that need love.

Reminder that only two of those three are actually redeemable, and one is STILL an edgelord who is more rude than Alhaitham could ever be, while the other is a certified insane person with a weird set of morals.

(Side note: I love Scaramouche and Childe as characters. I'm just tired of people acting like they aren't worse than the autistic characters. Scaramouche is extremely rude, but he's trying to be better as Wanderer thanks to Nahida's help. He has severe PTSD, and Childe does, too. But both of them are actually messed up and have done horrible things, yet people portray them as better and more in need of love than the characters with unlikable (read: neurodivergent) traits.)

Don't even get me started on how people portray Kokomi, Sucrose, Fischl, Diluc, Zhongli, Cyno, Furina, Neuvillette, and Albedo. Especially that last one- I WILL get mad if one more person tries to tell me he's just emotionless and rude.

Also, if anyone is wondering where I've seen people misunderstanding these characters, it's mostly on Hoyolab site discussions. There's one too many posts talking about how "rude" and "annoying" these characters are.

With Alhaitham especially, I see many people writing him as abusive in Haikaveh content. I see people arguing about the ship being toxic because Alhaitham is "abusive," "unfeeling," and "cruel." Even people who like the ship portray him as such. And I've seen too many people comparing him to Dr. Ratio, who is literally just a narcissist who views others as beneath him. Don't get me wrong, I understand the comparison. It's just... very obvious that people skipped dialogue during Genshin's Archon and story quests.

And it's frustrating because I've been misunderstood in the exact same way. I've been called "rude," "annoying," and "unfeeling" in the past and it's screwed me up. Seeing people do the same thing to a character I so deeply relate to makes me lose confidence in both myself and people around me.

If that's how you view a fictional character with autistic traits, how do you treat real people with the same traits?

Thanks for reading this far. My previous post seemed to get a lot of attention, so I felt more confident about posting my full perspective on this subject. Can any of you think of other characters that have been constantly misunderstood in the fandom? I'd love to hear about it.

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sherlock-is-ace · 1 year

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#midnight thoughts before going to bed (feel free to ignore)#but today i realized two major things about myself and my mental illness #1. i was reminded that when you have an anxiety disorder your body has a hard time telling the difference between anxiety and excitement #and suddenly my whole life made sense lol #the amount of times i didn't do something that i really wanted to do because it caused me MAJOR anxiety #and it was probably excitement actually but my body went into full fight or flight mode #and 2. i realized that my masking is actually causing me physical pain #like this is of course of i am actually autistic. i still feel like i can't say i am cause i have no right you know?#but objectively i'm like 98% sure i have autism #ANYWAYS masking is usually just forcing eye contact or not stiming in public (as much)#but today i realized that when i hear loud noises or too many at the same time my instinct is to cover my ears #but i don't because that's ''weird'' or will make people ask questions that i don't really know how to answer #so i don't cover my ears i just sit through it in actual pain and hope for the best #and the worst part of this is that when i say ''masking in public'' i mean in my own damn home #because of my mom and the fact that she doesn't believe i have issues #i think it's my fault tho i shouldn't have mentioned my self diagnosis while we were watcing the good doctor (and later attorney woo)#because those two are her only reference for what autism is/looks like and i'm not like that #i mean for the most part... the good doctor was the reason i realize i might be autistic #and woo's struggle with revolving doors hit a bit too close to my heart lol #but anyways...#i need to deal with my out of control anxiety #and i'm pretty sure i am autistic...#those are the conclusions of this post lol #angel talks #personal

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maeglinyedi · 2 years

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Because I'm a bit older (late 40s) I have a different view on the whole debate about whether autism is a disability or not.

I wasn't diagnosed with autism until a year ago (and ADHD 6 months ago), but let's pretend for a moment that I had been diagnosed as a child or as a teenager. And then let's pretend that someone had asked me in my early twenties if I thought autism was a disability.

I would have absolutely denied that. I would have stepped on top of the biggest soap box I could find and shouted that autism was most certainly NOT a disability.

Because in my early twenties I was living my best life. I was married, we'd bought a house, I worked full time, I had good friends and interesting hobbies. I might be autistic, but that didn't stop me from living a perfectly normal life.

Except that it was. I just didn't realize it yet. I was constantly overstimulated without realizing it. And even when I did realize it I just pushed through it, because after all I wasn't disabled.

But your brain can only take so much chronic overstimulation before it just shuts down. I was in my mid twenties when I had my first nervous breakdown. Suddenly I couldn't do the things anymore that I wanted to.

It took me 9 months to recover from that, and that was far too fast, mostly driven by my ADHD which demanded I get my brain back online asap. So I went back to work because I was a perfectly abled young woman after all.

But I didn't change anything that had caused me such overstimulation in the first place, and thus it came back full force and after 18 months I once again reached my breaking point and had a nervous breakdown, this time with added depression.

I haven't worked again since that second breakdown over 20 years ago. I'm officially declared disabled, yet it took me another decade (!) to accept that yes, I really am disabled. The autism and ADHD was a mystery still at that point, but I had officially been diagnosed with depression, anxiety disorder and PTSD. All courtesy of me desperately trying to lead a perfectly normal life for a few years in my early twenties.

Now I know what's going on in my brain. Now I'm starting to understand what my limitations are. And now I know that yes, I really am disabled and that there are plenty of things I can't do like most people can. Certain noises scramble my brain, people exhaust me and it takes me all the energy I have to get myself through a day in one piece. I know this and I accept this.

But now, every time I see a neurodivergent someone in their late teens or their early twenties step up onto a soapbox to loudly proclaim they're not disabled, my heart aches for them because I was once where they are now.

And I hope with all my heart that they will be able to live their lives without ever breaking down, but I also know that there's a chance they'll meet their mental limits sooner or later and learn what it means to be autistic in a very confrontational and devastating way.

Because to be neurodivergent means that you have a brain that needs more attention and care than that of a NT person. You need to learn your limitations, because if you don't those limitations will catch up with you when you least expect it.

And because of that extra care that our brains need, autism is a disability, whether it affects you now or in the future or hopefully never at all.

#autism diagnosis #autistic spectrum #autistic #autism #actually autistic #autistic girl #autism awareness #autism spectrum #autistic adult #adhd #my adhd #adhdlife #adhd brain #adhd feels #adhd stuff #actually neurodiverse #neurodivergent #neurodivergence #neurodiversity

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heartbeatbookclub · 3 months

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I was looking at a few posts about autism (as one does) and it just suddenly clicked into place a fundamental thing about Yuri's character that I'd been grasping at, but hadn't really been able to adequately identify. I still have a much longer and more thorough analysis going through a whole lot of my thoughts on Yuri's character and her experience of autism that i'm working on (of which this will likely be a component), but I thought I'd share this separately just to emphasize.

Post I saw which made this click for me was making fun of the fact that most media depicting impaired empathy in autistic characters explicitly depicts them with this unflappable confidence of never having been rejected by people they love. The crux of this is that in actual reality, autistic people almost always have that experience at some point, for some behavior, for reasons they don't really understand. "There is an invisible line where people will get sick of you, and you have no warning of when you're about to cross it." So frequently, autistic people attempt to ride a razor thin edge, walking on constant eggshells to desperately attempt to avoid crossing that line.

Very often autistic people will attempt to avoid doing anything at all which could be considered weird, or off-putting, and will try their absolute hardest to do things in a way that is acceptable to other people, sometimes to the point of outright suppressing their emotions, because they are afraid that they'll say something just wrong enough that the people they care about will push them away, and they don't understand WHY it happened, but they know it's THEIR fault. Sometimes masking is fighting to appear aloof all the time because you can't regulate your emotions in a way that is acceptable to other people.

And holy fucking Jesus, that fits the exact mold of what I've been trying to talk about with the particular way Yuri's anxieties manifest.

It really feels to me like Yuri has this constant fear of breaking the "rules" of socializing, despite not really understanding what those rules even are. She's constantly afraid of saying something wrong, when she doesn't even know what wrong would be, she's just sure everyone ELSE will know it when they hear it. I think a huge part of her social anxiety comes from her own understanding of herself as a very weird person who doesn't really get a lot of how to socialize, and it seems to me like she's probably dealt with her fair share of social rejection and isolation based on those traits. She then felt she had to take responsibility for those traits, probably because it's the one thing she can change, and she is the one common denominator in all of these bad situations (This is something which is pretty common, actually! "Everyone else can socialize just fine, and I have so much difficulty with it! I must just be broken in some way. I have to try super hard to be normal to make friends!")

I think a big part of why it's so apparent in the Literature Club is because she really thinks she's found a place where she can make friends in spite of all of her issues, so when she starts...being herself, and receives even the smallest HINT of pushback, she overcorrects and tries to rein all of herself in to fix her "mistake", because she really wants to make friends here, and doesn't want them to reject her as well.

She's had this experience of others pushing her away for being weird so often that, coupled with her acknowledged trouble for reading situations, when anybody responds poorly to something and she recognizes it, she immediately overcorrects out of fear of being an annoying burden to everyone around her, and that "correction" consists of suppressing herself into being "normal" (or at least "less weird"), because she believes nobody could actually like her just for being who she is. There's something wrong with her fundamentally, and to make friends, for people to like her and want to be around her, she has to "fix" herself.

it's just, like...

it's really hard for me to interpret Yuri's character that doesn't involve her being somewhere on the spectrum, bros. she's written with such delicately constructed autistic coding, despite the appearance of just being a hackneyed weird girl visual novel trope. she deserves the world.......

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evilcowgirl · 1 year

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Hi! i was thinking of a prompt for some headcanons for autistic! reader x the gang members (any one you like!)

a sort of "they're a bit odd but i like that about em" since it wasnt discovered until 1911.

stuff like when reader gets overwhelmed/doesnt understand social que/shows empathy/apathy at the wrong moments

and mostly what they'd do when reader feels left out/like they dont belong because thats something im really struggling with </3

have a good day/night!

autistic reader relationship headcannons

pairings: arthur, javier, dutch, charles x reader

a/n: hiii loved this request sm !! feeling left out is the worst feeling but there's a place for everyone so pls remember that !! also i included dutch and john for the first time !! this is me using my autism powers for good

word count: 1k (combined)

Arthur

you bond over you both feeling unheard in the gang. you because communication is difficult for you (especially when you feel out of place) and for arthur it's because he and dutch got into an argument twenty minutes ago and he's still mad.

makes it his personal responsibility to make sure you never feel overlooked at camp because he knows how hard it is for you to settle in with the rest of the gang

during parties at camp he makes sure to keep you right by his side of you don't feel up to talking and reassures you that everything is fine if you get overwhelmed

doesn't think twice about intimidating your way out of situations he sees going south

"You can't just go around talking to folks like that"

"Nah you ain't do nothing wrong, just that people 'round here are real quick-tempered; thankfully for you i'm even quicker."

he writes about you in his journal more than anything else, pages and pages are dedicated to just how special you are to him !!

"They aren't like most folk, I like that about them."

arthur takes it as you being less influenced by social norms, which he's naturally drawn to as someone who doesn't get along too well with social norms either.

KING of aggressive reassurance, sometimes it can be off putting but you know he means every word he says.

"I promise you if they didn't want you here you'd be long gone, darlin'"

"Everyone here loves you, I think even more than they love me at this point so stop your nonsense."

Dutch

biggest autism fan

calls you eccentric because thats how he chooses to describe you to people

completely over analyzes everything you say because he thinks you're the most interesting person he's ever met !! you might as well be evelyn miller !!

to him, you are so unique and precious that he finds himself being overly protective

his protectiveness could a flaw depending on your mood because he never notices that he's smothering you until you're past the point of being overstimulated by the attention.

you made a mistake ? no you didn't, you could never.

would rather watch a man die slowly than let you be confronted, even if you can take up for yourself.

"If he doesn't like your manners he'll be terribly disappointed to find that mine are much worse"

"Don't you dare waste your breath apologizing to anyone, sweet thing."

notices the small things about you like how enthralled you were by the noise his rings make when they brush against a glass or how you hate the feeling of too many eyes on you

you're the only person other than arthur that he feels like he can vent to without being judged.

will listen to you ramble about whatever you're interested in at the moment for as long as your interest lasts. has no problem with you coming up to him to talk about horses for a month straight if he gets to see you happy

Javier

he just thinks you're neat

you have a chest filled with little gifts that he brings you from his trips out of camp because you told him you like collecting things once.

little calm walks through the woods when things aren't going well, and even when they are and you just miss each other's company.

always reminds you to prepare yourself for the loud noise when he feels like he might have to use his gun if loud noises bother you.

"Remember to cover your ears, amor"

because of his own strict morals and passion for what he stands for he appreciates your straightness with what you believe. its easy for him to talk to you because he can trust you to be honest.

loyalty is a huge thing for javier so you can trust him to stand up for you diligently regardless of what it's about

someone made a snide comment ?? dead !

he adores everything you view as a flaw about yourself. from your struggles with putting things in a way that people can swallow easily, to your excitement for whats often seen as mundane.

"That's amazing, amor, tell me more!"

javier is definitely a self-identified romantic and finds ways to romance you even if sometimes you don't pick up on his affections.

always invites you to sit near him around the fire and listen to him play !! every song is for you because he knows you like his music

could not care less about your issues with empathy because he has them too after everything he's been through.

would never force you to feel something you don't or don't understand and reminds you that you're just as caring and lovable as anyone else

John

"You're a bit off, you know?"

will ask you why you do certain things, not to be rude but out of genuine curiosity and a lack of manners.

literally so clueless

thought that you hated him in the beginning and held a grudge that you didn't even know about, but once he realized that you simply expressed emotions differently than most people he warmed up to you over time

he wasn't exactly sure how to approach you even though he was interested and he's NOT at all used to being nervous around people he's interested in

tried and failed to strike up conversations with you numerous times before finally switching up his approach and realizing that small talk wasn't going to get him anywhere with you.

the term autism and it's symptoms weren't recognized medically until much later, there was no term for it which often led to people simply avoiding the topic of your differences or leaving you out completely. john on the other hand was incredibly frank about everything and never tries to convince you that you're just like everyone else. he knows that you're not and so do you, what matters to him is that he loves you just as you are.

gets aggressive when you're overwhelmed, not with you but to everyone else around you. hates seeing you stressed out and it gets him stressed too.

"They said they don't want any bother." when you definitely did not say that

sitting in his tent with him while you both calm down and sweet hugs and comforting words afterwards

only he is allowed to poke fun of you everyone else knows you're off limits

Charles

i like my bitches weird an offputting -charles i think

charles is the first person you think has truly known you without treating you any differently. he didn't speak down to you, or simplify things because he saw you as less intelligent. he spoke to you like a person that was just as capable of everyone else, which you were.

gentle words of encouragement and silent glances of of acknowledgment when you need them. he always know when you need them.

so sweet with you because he knows what it feels like to not belong in more ways than he could even list

"Would you like to join us?"

"I'd like it if you came, you're always welcome with me."

you never feel like he's judging you for not understanding how to talk with others in a conventional way. he understands you in a way you're not used to.

he can always magically tell when you're getting overstimulated and never makes you feel like a burden for it.

sweetest man ever just wants you to be okay !!!!

always shares new things that he's learned with you because he knows you'll appreciate them. loves to tell you all about plants and animals and in return he listens eagerly to whatever hyper fixation you have at the time

you both have a similar social which leads to you spending an unsettling amount of time together

holding hands and sweet kisses when you're both up for it, regardless of who's looking

people in camp talk of course, wondering how something that's not an animal being hunted could capture charles' attention for so long

#arthur morgan x reader #john marston x reader #dutch van der linde x reader #javier escuella x reader #charles smith x reader #dutch van der linde #rdr2 #rdr2 fanfic #arthur morgan headcanons #john marston headcanons #dutch van der linde headcanons #charles smith headcanons #javier escuella headcanons

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