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princessmadafu · 4 years

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That Book (excuse the long post)

I didn't want to jump into the fray without first thinking over the published extracts of FF and the various critiques and synopses in the press. I'd just like to send huge thanks to YankeeWallee and everyone that YW herself thanks for the collated screenshots of the excerpts and RoyahNikkah's review. I'll do what the rest of you do and state here that these are my personal opinions and anything quoted comes under "fair usage", etc. Long live free speech!

My over-riding reaction is, what an absolute pile of lies, lies and more lies. Starting with Scobie's sources, of which he says there are at least two per nugget of information. I believe most of the book has come directly or indirectly from MM herself, and that any "sources" have MM's blessing, sanction or outright order to disclose. FaceTiming in the bath? How would Scobie know? Unless he was in the bath with her, this can only have come from herself or the friend being FaceTimed. There is too much of a highly personal nature for it to be Scobie's own investigative work. So there's the first lie, straight from the weirdly-toothy Sussexy horse's mouth; of course she collaborated!

Some of us had our reservations right from the start of Harry and MM's relationship, but we were prepared to give her the benefit of the doubt and join in the welcome of a biracial, divorced American actress. Right-wing, left-wing, a-political or not-royally-bothered, we all thought, Let's give the pair a chance to see what they can do.

How about this article from Spiked on the engagement of Harry & MM from 2017:

Meghan Markle: Generation Woke's Princess Diana - spiked

"...look no further than the fawning response to the engagement of Prince Harry and American actress Meghan Markle – one of those rare occasions in which both the Telegraph editorial team and the identity-politics set erupted in simultaneous celebration."

How quickly the celebration wore off as the pair of them squandered our goodwill. Another article from Spiked from July 2019, less than two years later, is harsher, when we've all been insulted, preached at and condemned as racists by PH&MM:

Meghan Markle is the worst kind of snob - spiked

"With the possible exception of a few sad social outcasts, no one has a problem with the fact that Meghan’s mum just happens to be black. No, Meghan is criticised for being snobby, elitist, hopelessly out of touch and possessing all the self-awareness of a flea. It’s not Meghan’s skin colour that annoys people, but the fact that she thinks nothing of donning an outfit that costs more than most people in the UK earn in a year and then getting her minders to order the public not to take photos of her. [...] There are heaps of reasons for people not just to criticise Meghan and Harry, but to ridicule their hypocrisy and puncture their pomposity. And not one involves the colour of Meghan’s skin. Meghan comes in for criticism because she is the worst kind of snob who condescends to tell others not just what to do, but also what to think. The fact that she is biracial is completely irrelevant. Of course, there is an obvious solution for Harry and Meghan if they do not like the public attention and criticism. Harry could denounce his claim to the throne. They could give up the titles, move out of the palaces and fund their own lifestyle. I can’t for the life of me imagine why they don’t."

Prescient, no? Six months later and they announce they're off. She played him like a fiddle. The raptures she went into over Botswana and wanting the spend the summer? Did she feed his fantasies of moving to Africa permanently? How strange that Africa became Canada, which then became Los Angeles? Strange my perky little bottom! She had this planned all along. I don't know if PH is with her over there, but she certainly seems to be feeding the illusion that she is now Hollywood Royalty. If she couldn't cut real Royalty, she definitely won't cut the LaLaLand version which is a lot less restrained in voicing its opinions of jumped-up wannabes. Especially the Markly ones who cut, dump, run and show no loyalty or staying power.

The following points, in no particular order, are mostly from an assortment of DM writers and comments from members of the public.

"The book claims the so-called ‘old guard’ tried to undermine the couple and ‘were concerned that the global interest in and popularity of the Sussexes needed to be reined in’." A little self-aggrandisement here, possibly? Global interest, maybe, of the rubber-necking car crash variety, but global popularity? When was that, exactly? Royal staff are all well aware that the purpose of the Royals is to support HMTQ; that is their job. If the Sussexes needed reining in at all, it was because they weren't doing their job properly.

"Harry and Meghan believed ‘few inside the palace were looking out for their interests’ and felt that most courtiers could not be trusted with their sensitive information." Ditto, the courtiers' job is to look out for the interests of HMTQ; PH&MM's job was to look out for the interests of HMTQ, not themselves.

"They believed that these ‘men in grey suits’ were stifling their attempts to launch their initiatives, and when they tried to air these frustrations ‘the conversations didn’t lead anywhere’." I mean, come on! PH is 6th in line. He knows that. There is no "they" involved here - it's all MM again, isn't it, thinking she's more important because she's more popular and she famously gets what she wants... She thought she could snap her fingers and make whatever she wanted happen. She ignored the hierarchy and the protocols, and probably (I suspect) got dimwit Harry believing that she knew best, and that together they could change the world.

"One source said Harry felt that some of the old guard at the palace ‘simply didn’t like Meghan and would stop at nothing to make her life difficult’." I can well believe that staff at the palace didn't like her - she showed her true colours quite early on - but deliberately making her life difficult? I suspect this is what MM told Harry. Twisted the truth, naturally. I'm guessing she made a few ridiculous OTT demands, or wanted some unworkable project, and the staff, knowing their jobs as they do, tried to point out the flaws in her ideas, prevent her making a fool of herself, or otherwise politely protect her from herself. Goodness knows, she made a fool of herself often enough, barging in front and all that...

"The book concludes that Meghan was ‘totally foreign’ to this group of advisers, who ‘could sometimes be even more conservative than the institution they guarded’." They were guarding an institution with over a thousand years of history from someone with neither understanding of nor respect for British history, the Monarchy, or the duties of the RF; and she made no effort to learn.

"Another insider said: ‘The fact is that Meghan was welcomed with open arms and everyone did their best to offer their help about how to navigate such a tricky public role – advice she would often choose to ignore." The arrogance of the woman! And she was welcomed. She just believed that she knew best.

"Omid Scobie said Meghan’s high-profile career as an actress and the fact that she was a divorcee left her ‘ripe for exploitation’." High-profile career, mwah! Actress, mwah! Divorcee, so what? Charles and Camilla are both divorce/es, Anne is a divorcee, so is Andrew, and a whole bunch of other lesser royals. As for being ripe for exploitation, I think we all know how this panned out and MM wasn't the one being exploited! Far from it. She milked every opportunity and opening her new title and her new husband could bring her.

"During one of their final engagements as senior royals, Meghan was ‘purposefully snubbed’ by Kate in front of a global TV audience, the authors claim." Well now, where to start on this one? MM threw a hissy fit because she wasn't allowed to walk in the procession with HMTQ, C&C and DDoC. The DDoC decided to appease MM by pulling out of the procession and taking their seats. Now I don't know what DDoC thought about that but I can just imagine them comparing MM's behaviour with that of their own beautifully behaved kids. I can just imagine them thinking thank God she'll be gone soon! I doubt there was any purposeful snubbing at the service but MM has no manners and no idea how to behave, not even in church. The DDoC are too well brought-up to "carry on" in a place of worship, nor would they lean across seats for a happy little chat, just a quick turn round for a friendly word with Edward and Sophie immediately behind them before the arrival of C&C and HMTQ. Churches are not places to be gossiping and grinning inanely, and you definitely don't push your way through the chairs when the service is over! She is so rude and ill-mannered.

"The book claims Meghan and Kate’s ‘cordial but distant rapport’ was apparent when the pair appeared alongside each other at the King Power Royal Charity Polo Day last summer." I don't remember the dates exactly, but I should think by this time DoC was well and truly fed up with MM's shenanigans; the doe-eyes she'd been pulling at PW, the rumours she and the SS had been fanning about PW and une petite liaison with a long-time friend... Cordial but distant was probably the best MM could hope for at this stage; DoC was hardly about to play Happy Families with the troublemaker.

"The couple were dismayed when no photograph of them and their son Archie was displayed during the Queen’s Christmas speech last year." It was quite clear that the photos on display represented the direct line of succession, from HMTQ's father through to her great-grandson - five generations of the Monarchy. I truly believe that MM wanted to "modernise" the RF to such an extent that PH would be elected King! With MM at his side, dripping in all the jewels she could get her greedy mitts on! I realise it must be hard for PH to get to grips with his status as "Pretty Much Relegated Former Spare", but she must have been really feeding his insecurities if she got him upset about the absence of a photograph.

"Prince Harry was the first to say 'I love you' in his relationship with Meghan Markle, with friends revealing the couple were 'immediately obsessed' with each other, according to the latest extract of a bombshell biography." Oooh, how would Scobie know something as intimate as this? Immediately obsessed with each other, I can well believe; MM with his status, title, money, the palaces, the jewels... and she reeled him into her fantasy world with lies and perfectly posed KamaSutra yoga until he was obsessed with this chameleon woman, at the same time both mother-figure and hot, sexy, adoring, sophisticated, intelligent, humanitarian animal lover. Oh the lies, the lies; "Will you walk into my parlour, said the Spider to the Fly."

"They enjoyed a romantic dinner, with staff taking great pains to ensure their privacy, whisking them in through a staff entrance usually used to bring in fish discreetly." This is their second date at SoHo House, and again, how would Scobie know little details unless MM had told him herself? I like the hint of shade by the writer noting that the entrance was used to bring in fish discreetly - there's definitely something fishy about MM!

How about some comments from DM readers?

"Every single shameless self-serving tabloid "leak" and publicity stunt she has orchestrated has backfired specularly. Hence why Harry has gone from beloved military man and active working Royal to a national embarrassment within two short years! Her efforts at aggressive self-promotion are no match for her lack of talent or perspective in that area. She could have heeded advice from other, more dedicated Royals, but No. Meghan knew better and decided that she was deserving of instant worship fit for her 'celebrity' expectations. The Duchess of Cambridge has earned respect over years with quiet dedication to her causes. Meghan felt entitled to all the glory instantly, and was clearly slighted to learn that respect is not something to be commanded. She is a culture vulture with no respect or understanding of the very people that she promised to represent." [Jace T Adams]

"The narrative of the relationship is laughable. Everyone knows they first met in Canada when Harry was there for Invictus. He needed a girl for the night and Meghan was arranged for him. She must have been impressive as they had a date the next day and the rest is history." [Lady M]

"You can't work with someone you don't trust and these two have proven untrustworthy." [ellegrav]

I have no inside information on any of above, but people better placed than I am are making similar judgments on the contents of FF; people who've spent their working lives following and reporting on the RF.

"The Queen’s former press secretary Dickie Arbiter told the Mail: ‘I think it has their fingerprints all over it. We had a similar scenario in 1992 when Diana swore blind she hadn’t helped Andrew Morton and yet a year later it came out that she had indirectly helped him so history is repeating itself. ‘There are too many things that we have seen in the serialisation that could only come from the horse’s mouth, like deciding to gatecrash Sandringram when they landed from Canada."

And Jan Moir: JAN MOIR on the Meghan and Harry biography that has put ...

What did the pair of them want or expect? Top billing, it seems. What is remarkable is that Harry’s whole life and entire upbringing have been devoted and calibrated to him being a prince. Surely he understands how it works? Surely he could have explained the system to his vexed new bride? Primarily, that being royal is a form of active service, with ranks and a hierarchy so uncomplicated that schoolchildren throughout the realm understand the line of succession and its importance to the Windsors — and to us.

And Robert Hardman: ROBERT HARDMAN: Harry and Meghan are ... - dailymail.co.uk

Yet Finding Freedom is a struggle against protocol and seating plans. It is based on the perceived unfairness of a pecking order which has governed — and preserved — the monarchy for 1,000 years.

We can't all be wrong!

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aelaer · 4 years

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☕ WHY DO YOU THINK TONY DOESN'T LIKE BEING HANDED THINGS (OR IF YOU KNOW THE CANON REASON THAT WOULD BE AWESOME) 👀👀👀

From what I could find, there is no canon reason. And I didn’t have any headcanon for this. So I outsourced and went to the internet to see what they thought. They had interesting answers. Here are all of them. I put my favorite answer at the end. (Copy/pasted rather than screenshotted so I don’t have to worry about screen-readers):

Via Rob Taylor on Quora:

Agent Carter fleshed this out in the final episode. Basically both Howard and Tony have OCD tendencies, most geniuses do. But Tony has a LOT of psychological issues at play.In Howard’s case it was displayed with humor, that his gadgets were not stored right. Tony’s is more to do with avoiding any personal involvement where he can. Being handed things is just one part of it, he beds women and has Pepper eject them, he can’t stand the pendulum and is ALWAYS flippant and inappropriate around authority, in particular Fury. Tony always avoided bonding with people, literally has Rhodey as a friend and Stane as his father figure at the start of the film and Pepper and Happy as his staff, albiet close staff. Since Yinsen’s death he tries to avoid drawing others into his world as they get killed, which is exacerbated by the dangers faced by Pepper, Coulson’s death and Hogan’s near killing in IM3. He is even off with kids in IM3 where he isn’t previously, so he is also quite paranoid.

Via Andrew Hart on Quora:

If you think back to (or go back and watch) Iron Man (the first one), you’ll notice Tony is handed things in the movie and it’s implied he’s handed many other things.

There are two situations that are most notable.

At the party when Christine Everhart comes up to Tony after he got back from Afghanistan, she hands him pictures of terrorists using Stark technology to attack Gulmira (however you spell it), which if you recall, is the place Yinsen says he is from. This hits Tony hard, because it’s HIS weapons being used to terrorise the place of origin of the man who died to save him.

In this same conversation, Christine accuses Tony of signing off to allow for Stark weapons to be given to those terrorists, which Tony is immediately upset by. It’s one of the few times when Tony doesn’t have a ‘smart comeback’, but is shown to be upset and disturbed by this information. This makes Tony wonder “What has he been signing? Could he have signed off for these weapons to be used without even knowing it?”

As CEO, he signs a lot of stuff, and he is responsible for everything Stark Industries does. Tony assumes the worst, that he signed off for the weapons to be used and didn’t notice it. He assumes it was just one of the random things people kept handing to him to sign.

So in this one conversation, we have Tony being handed images that deeply trouble him, and then being accused of signing paperwork that was handed to him to allow for these images to exist.

Basically this one conversation leads to Tony having a peeve about being handed things. Understandably.

Via KCreep on Reddit:

It hasn’t been outright explained. However my interpretation is this.

Ultra, rich, weathy, men have a tendency to have weird eccentric quirks. Think of Howard Hughes and him collecting his own urine in jars. You don’t get super weathly without being a bit gifted and more importantly being right more often than not. So over time, they’d settle into the concept that everything they do is right.

My line of thinking is that Tony Stark is so cocky and sure of himself, that the entire concept of being handed anything means that he’s not in control of the current situation.

As in if someone hands him a file to look at. He might think that he’s the genius in this room, no one needs to tell him when he needs to get to work. And the act of handing a file to him would be offensive. So while he may be too polite to just call it out for the way he thinks about it. He defaults to not liking being handed things.

Of course it’s just my insight, I could be overthinking it.

**edit then I just ran your question by my girlfriend and her immediate response was… He’s a germaphobe. She brought up Jarvis handling things in his workshop, how his cars were all kept prestine, and how Pepper would be the one to hand things to him, someone he’d trust to be clean. So you got two theories there.

Via Sarah Stodola on Quora:

I don’t think we have an official, worded answer from Marvel; they haven’t spelled it out. The following is my own observation and theorizing, after multiple viewings of most of the MCU films.

I think the core reason has to do with trauma and trust.

It’s not something he’s had or done all along. The trait didn’t actually seem to exist at the beginning of IM1 - he interacted with women and a pressing crowd at the casino, without issue. We also got the picture that he was a partier (crowds, booze, noise, sex) on a regular basis. We first see the hints of it later in IM1 (he’s uncomfortable with Obadiah, an old friend but also a very dominating personality, putting an arm around him - well before he knew of the betrayal), and then we have it pointed out very obviously in IM2. What changed?

Tony was held captive and tortured. Both people in his world and a lot of fans seem to forget that. Not just slapped around, but beaten, half-drowned, and electrocuted by people who seemed to take some pleasure in their “art” - all while having just undergone major wounding and open-chest surgery. He’s lucky he’s alive. He’s certainly not unaffected.

It doesn’t just show in not liking to be handed things; the issue is broader than that. That’s the piece he vocalizes, and he seems to play off it purposefully, obnoxiously even, as being difficult or quirky - better to be seen as annoying than vulnerable. But from IM2 on we also see that he doesn’t like crowds anymore - he will push through them if need be, but he goes visibly physically tense and does it quickly. He also startles quite noticeably when touched without warning on several occasions through the subsequent films - he downright jumps and half-turns if it’s from behind. It’s not just that he doesn’t like it. It actually spooks him; his eyes widen. His more dramatic anxiety/PTSD after “Avengers” seems to make most people he interacts with not look any deeper, but the older issues are still there.

He’s continually on some level of physical awareness; he holds himself very precisely. Even when dealing with the other Avengers he tends to circle - subtly - just out of reach, usually chattering steadily or joking to make it less obvious, and making conscious decisions to occasionally move in to do something like give or allow a brief shoulder grip. But it is obvious once you know to look for it. His body language downright shouts. The only times he seems to forget about it are when he’s angry (then he’ll get aggressive and up in people’s faces) or in an emergency (adrenaline, total focus on what needs to be done).

The only times he completely goes loose-muscled and unguarded are when locked in his basement hideaway (safe place), or under Pepper’s touch. The only times he moves comfortably in strangers’ close proximity are in the armor.

I suspect “don’t hand me things” is simply an excuse he can get away with to not to get within arm’s reach of most people - one fewer reason to end up in close quarters with another human being. The only regular exceptions to the rule are also the only people he’s shown to be actually comfortable being in physical contact with - Pepper of course, Rhodey, Happy, and oddly enough, apparently Bruce Banner. (And yes, Peter later on, I was reminded. Tony shows some stiffness for awhile with him too, but seems to relax gradually.)

Really, when you look at all the little things unspoken but added up to a clear picture, it’s hard not to realize just what an amazing actor RDJ really can be. To express so much about a character’s state of mind without using words at all - except the occasional snarky “I don’t like to be handed things.”

The above of course is all about Tony Stark in the MCU. I saw from another answer that this trait has also been carried into the comics. I can only surmise that either 1.) it would come from a similar history and mental state in the comic character, or that 2.) the writers carried over the trait from the films without looking into why it existed there, in which case it could end up a lot shallower of a reasoning.

I think Sarah hit the nail on the head and that’s the reason I like the most. Feel free to choose as you like. That’s the beauty of headcanons.

#mdcbd #tony stark #mcu #meta #ask #answered #long post #headcanon

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gukseuphoria · 5 years

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a response to fluffyjhs

Alternative title - Exposing Luna: A Receipt-Filled Thread

Disclaimer 1: I didn’t want to do this, I never wanted to make this a public affair but she has been harassing my friends and I’m DONE, officially. She’s been self-victimizing for months and obsessing and stalking my friend and I’m not having it. And now she’s “exposed” us on tumblr. Enough is enough.

Disclaimer 2: obviously, for my friends’ safety, I will be censoring the names and handles of those who do not want to be mentioned, but who still wanted their part of the story to be included. But y’all can come at me all you want.

I’ll put this under a cut to save peoples’ dashes, but PLEASE read it if you are in ANY WAY involved with Alice/fluffyjhs. Thank you.

So.

Our group of friends knew her as “Luna”, but she’s known currently as Alice, and her current blog handle is “fluffyjhs”. Just because I personally knew her during her time as Luna, I’m going to address her as so, although I doubt it is her real name.

Luna joined our network I think in mid-October 2018 along with a wave of other new members. At first, everything seemed relatively normal: she talked with other members and made friends. It should be known that one of the members of the network - Phi, @guksdimple - was taking time off of the chat for personal reasons.

The first thing that weirded me out was that Luna was acting as if she knew Phi personally. I didn’t think too much of it, I figured they were mutuals. I’m personally close with Phi and so I asked her if she wanted me to say hi to Luna for her. She then told me that she didn’t follow Luna before nor did she know her until now. (I know this sounds random but it will be important for later points.)

Minor issue. Amongst her other habits, it was weird, but not too off-putting.

(Other habits include: leaving the chat randomly only to ask to join back a little later; jumping into any conversation Hoseok-related in a retrospectively possessive manner; whining when one of her messages was ignored (in a very busy, approximately 30-person group chat).)

Luna didn’t start truly off-putting members until another member - whom I will call Chloe - came to the admins of the network (Phi, Bri @starjeon and I) to confess that she felt ignored and even looked down upon by Luna. Chloe and Luna had made contact before being members of the network and it was awkward to say the least. Chloe wanted to be friends with Luna but Luna was very cold with her. Regardless, Chloe tried to be friendly with Luna until it was obvious that it would not be reciprocated.

Here are some screenshots of conversation snippets between Chloe and Luna. While not directly rude, you can see the passive-aggressiveness present. (sorry for the weird format. Blame Chloe, dsibfsf)

(in case you can’t read it: “you really have a lot of love to show right? lol”)

(Chloe only sent 3 pictures and Luna asked her not to “spam”, despite sending MULTIPLE messages at a time in the past herself)

Until then, the admins had decided to simply keep an eye on the situation to avoid drama, as while it seemed passive-aggressive, there was no proof of her intentions, and Chloe agreed. However, this all changed when Chloe received an anon message.

I could go into a deep analysis as to how we concluded that this message was from Luna - typing habits, mostly (notice the over-excessive use of commas and run-on sentences) - but the biggest proof is possibly this message she sent before leaving the network chat, suspiciously around the same time the ask was sent.

Now I’m no detective, but these are the things Luna and this “anon” have in common: 1) the excessive comma use and run on sentences 2) calling Chloe an attention-seeker 3) the ask also parallels Luna’s earlier behaviour about her self-given superiority about being an ARMY for 4 years (”everyone saw the things you keep droping aren’t like everyone is new to the fandom”) - as opposed to Chloe’s 2 months and 4) commenting on Chloe’s eagerness and cheery attitude.

After Luna left - of her own volition and out of annoyance towards Chloe - us network admins felt the need to inform the other members on the situation because of the ask. Following this, many members soft blocked/unfollowed Luna because of this.

Luna noticed this really quickly and immediately dm’d almost every. single. member. that unfollowed her. Here are just two for length’s sake, but many members received similar messages.

This, of course, sparked a minor panic within the network. It’s like Luna was waiting for the fallout to happen, keeping an eye on her mutual status with the members of the network.

And so, as a mod of the network - and to spare Phi the drama considering her own issues - I decided to confront her on behalf of everyone. (As you can see, I’m doing the same thing now, lol.) I’ll include the most interesting parts of my own conversation with Luna. I’m known for being aggressive-aggressive when it comes to defending and protecting my friends, and it shows here. (The contact name is “(Unknown)” because Luna blocked me at the end of this conversation and eventually deleted this kkt id)

Following my conversation with her - which, as you can see, has NO MENTION of Chloe - Chloe receives messages from Luna. NO ONE has told Luna that Chloe was the one who received hate mail, or that Chloe was the one who felt harassed by her.

It’s with these messages that, in my point of view, Luna traps herself. She proves that she sent the ask and that she was PURPOSEFULLY being passive aggressive to Chloe. With that, she was officially banned from the network, and many members of the network blocked her as a precaution to avoid being harassed by her for “answers”.

It should be said that NONE of the members sent hate to, or bullied Luna. The closest thing that could be considered hate were MY messages confronting her and calling her out. She’s claiming we were bullying her but really we just unfollowed her. That’s the worst any other member had done.

Chloe was also in another network with Luna, and so Phi decided to contact the admin of this network simply to warn her that trouble might surface between those two and offered a few screenshots as context. (Chloe later left the other network because she couldn’t handle seeing Luna acting all friendly with others in there, in fear that she would use them to turn on her.)

With that, we thought that the situation was finished.

However, it wasn’t.

Luna continued to send messages to Phi overtime even AFTER she was kicked from the network. This is where my earlier passage about her weird “friendship” with Phi comes in.

Luna persistently tried to form a friendship with Phi despite Phi not really engaging with her. Phi, who was already going through personal issues at the time, did not wish to confront Luna and deal with her drama, and instead tried to slowly separate herself from her. When Luna came to her about having a panic attack, all Phi told her was to “breathe”. Not long after, Phi received these “anonymous” messages (note, once again, the comma usage).

Small occurrences continued like this, and Phi continued to ignore or give very little response to them.

However, Phi changed her mind about her separation technique when Luna sent a vaguely aggressive message about Phi’s friendship choices - essentially, shading the fact that Phi was still friends with Chloe.

I can’t find a screenshot of Phi’s response, but it went along the sentiment of “I’m friends with who I want, and if you can’t handle that, that’s your problem.” It was very dry and to the point, but in no way aggressive. She made her point: she wanted Luna to leave her alone.

With that, Phi thought the situation would be over. However, Luna still tagged her in posts, sent her loving messages that Phi didn’t particularly respond to, and overall stalked her, essentially.

The last straw was when Phi received an anon about not replying to mutuals. Due to, once again, typing habits (and her overall obsession with Phi replying to her), Phi guessed it might be Luna.

And so, after answering it, Phi decided to block that anon.

Not so surprisingly, Phi was right. It is around that time that Luna remade her blog, with the excuse that it was bugging out.

Not too long after, she sent this to Phi:

It should be noted that “some things I saw” were, in fact, Phi interacting with Chloe on her blog and tagging her in posts. It should also be noted that Luna is thanking Phi for essentially just, telling her to breathe and calm down. That’s it.

After that (which happened in November 2018), Luna did not do much, nor did she directly engage with Phi. Luna started going by Winter (and many other names). With that, we thought it was over. She moved blogs and was leaving us alone. She needed a fresh start, and we could respect that.

Of course, the admins - especially me - kept an eye on her to make sure she wouldn’t start drama or confront Chloe again (who was, and still is, emotionally distraught from Luna’s behaviour), but everything was fine. comfyhobi went through many changes and eventually became fluffyjhs, and she eventually took the name Alice. We still knew she was Luna, but nothing dramatic had happened.

We did NOT engage with her. We did NOT send her hate. We did NOT make an expose post despite all she had already done. We let her live on her blog, and I simply kept an eye on her to make sure she wouldn’t name drop us and start drama on Tumblr.

We thought we were finally in the clear, that Luna had moved on and that Phi and Chloe were safe from her harassment.

Until she came back a few weeks ago, in February 2019. She tried tagging Phi in posts again, acting like she didn’t know her and that she was a different person. And not long after, she tried applying to the network again under the name Alice and with her new blog.

One of the admins (Bri) confronted her, reminding her that she was banned from the network, but she completely denied being Luna. However, she still had the same typing habits, and we had made sure to track her well.

Some things to note: 1) tinyjhs is one of Luna’s old URLs and did eventually “deactivate”. 2) Bri never mentioned that she deactivated, simply that she was blocked from the network, yet Luna mentioned it herself. 3) the “5 year hiatus” line is exactly the same as her comments when she originally joined the network, how she had not been active on the internet in over, I think 4 years? (Sadly, I don’t have receipts for that, I didn’t think it would ever be relevant, we’re talking about 4 months ago and I can’t find them, but it is an interesting parallel). 4) she’s awfully compassionate and insightful of the feelings of someone that we accused of causing drama.

Anyways, as you can see, she threw a temper tantrum and blocked the network blog from communicating with her. With that, we hoped it was finally done. She tried to get back in, and she failed. She knew that we knew she was Luna.

But, this brings us to Luna’s open letter on her own blog a few days later.

The original post was made yesterday, WITHOUT our blogs’ URLs in the tags. After deliberating between admins, we decided not to engage and to let her have her drama, as no one was explicitly mentioned (yet), and we desperately wanted it to be over. We figured that maybe she would finally stop after maybe getting some attention from some of her mutuals, or that she would truly leave tumblr for good. (Clearly, we haven’t learned.) We didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of replying to her attack.

So why, you might ask, am I replying to it now?

TWO THINGS.

First. Because of this ask Phi received.

Second. Because she finally mentioned us directly.

Luna finally mentioned us directly, publicly on Tumblr, a place where we never wanted to take this argument. All the aspects of her post PROVE that she is not “Jacqueline” as she claimed a few days ago, but VERY CLEARLY Luna. She did this in hopes of getting other people involved, to hate on us, to ruin Phi’s reputation especially, I assume. Most of all, she did this to get the attention from Phi she so desperately wanted, and the sympathy of others along the way.

We didn’t want to “expose” her. We didn’t want to make this drama bigger than it already is. But she chose to do that herself.

And so that gives me, in my opinion, the justification to finally post this response and expose thread.

This has gone far enough. Luna is manipulative, toxic and downright psychotic. She’s obsessive, with the situation, with the network, and with Phi. She thinks she’s clever enough to move blogs and rename herself in order to sneak back into the network and do god knows what. And when we don’t give her what she wants, she brings up her many private mental illnesses, blaming us for her tw// suicidal thoughts and self harm, when we have done NOTHING but try to end this situation since November 2018. It’s February 2019, and she keeps coming back.

I have a theory that Luna desperately needs attention, which is why she kisses up to so many “big blogs” in order to try and befriend them and become a big blog herself. Many of her posts, as well as her attitude towards Phi - and towards Phi ONLY (the “biggest” blog of the network) out of all of the members of the network - seem to hint towards that. Her obsession with being rejected from the network and her neediness for every single of her messages to be acknowledged also indicate this.

REGARDLESS, while this is a post to inform the general public of the fandom (and to hopefully clear our names from her drama), it is also a callout post to Luna SPECIFICALLY.

Leave Phi alone. Leave ‘Chloe’ alone. Leave ALL OF US alone. We’re no longer tolerating your bat-shit crazy attempt at getting attention from us. We’re done.

EDIT: since Phi wrote her quick response while I was writing out this post - which you can find here - she has received many messages from people who have undergone similar treatment from Luna. Here’s a screenshot we’ve been permitted to use:

Our network is not alone. I now realize that maybe my fear of bringing this onto Tumblr has brought pain and drama to OTHER people that Luna has tried to “befriend” and eventually cause drama with. I’m sorry. I hope that you all can find relief in this thread, to know that you guys aren’t alone, too.

#things for ts #*fluffyjhs #please read it if you are in any way related to her #whether it be as co-members of a network #or as mutuals #etc

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sherlolo-land · 6 years

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(Source)

Okay, you guys need to just breathe for a minute.

Ready? All right then.

We understand this post is a year old, but this needs to be addressed. These allegations are serious and it’s going to be taken seriously, but at the same time, none of you provided links to said behavior. These days just about anyone can exclaim they were harassed on the internet, but there’s an unlikely chance of it being bought if there’s no evidence.

First of all - you have supplied so many examples of being bullied and hated on. A very alarming number of examples, to be correct. You all agree that in one way or another, a TJLCer has abused you in a specific way. If this abuse is real, we’re concerned why you never brought up the individual’s name. Why? to protect them? From what? If this person is indeed being abusive, they deserve to be known. And before you start coming up with sassy comebacks, know this: it’s also easy to point fingers at a specific person, but if you’re going to spout accusations like these, you better do your research and prepare to whip out your proof of when it happened, how, what, why, etc. Screen shots are your best friend in these cases, and we see none. Regardless of which ever ship or fandom or come from, abuse is not a light manner to be treated in such, and judging by the lack of damning material you aren’t providing it just shows that you’re 1) simply lazy and 2) would rather just close your eyes and point your blame at a random object.

This is just a list of people saying they were bullied. By whom? No one knows. When? No one knows. How did it happen? No one knows.

Second, there has been an immediate dislike of TJLC since the moment it was created, and steadily grew:

http://tjlc.tumblr.com/post/85173074611/i-have-to-askwhat-was-the-purpose-of-this-blog

http://tjlc.tumblr.com/post/85158441256/bottom-line-youre-just-some-of-the-most

http://tjlc.tumblr.com/post/85160151711/i-really-dont-understand-why-you-have-to-be-rude

http://tjlc.tumblr.com/post/85133792466/making-tjlc-about-topjohn-now-thats-a-massive

http://tjlc.tumblr.com/post/85173971951/because-i-thought-this-blog-was-going-to-actually

http://graceebooks.tumblr.com/post/72859155793/i-fully-understand-if-you-dont-want-to-address

http://graceebooks.tumblr.com/post/72856811207/tjlc-stands-for-the-johnlock-conspiracy

http://tjlc.tumblr.com/post/113626596076/note-to-anti-superwholocks-and-tjlr-people-and

http://tjlc.tumblr.com/post/106634773406/no-one-is-forcing-anybody-to-believe-in-tjlc

http://tjlc.tumblr.com/post/106697790781/why-do-you-keep-asking-people-to-purposefully

http://t-j-l-r.tumblr.com/post/97490362651/bennysnips

http://tjlc.tumblr.com/post/106525474411/it-just-makes-me-sad-that-so-many-people-hate-us

http://sherlockfandomguide.tumblr.com/post/102288796545/can-you-do-a-definition-on-tjlr-im-having-a-hard (this link we left for last shows that someone was so ANNOYED about TJLC that they went an created a tag that was AGAINST it and wrote out a FAQ. Wow. So mature.)

Look at those links. That wasn’t so difficult.

We note that this is not to throw back these accusations you made, but they’re to expose how quick Anti-Johnlockers are to judge TJLC. It’s clear from the get go that we have been hated. For what reason? We didn’t create TJLC to shit on other ships. It was for our own enjoyment. The only people who ever took anything bad from TJLC or made it sound as if we were trouble makers from the beginning were -- ? Anti-Johnlockers. Why were/are you so upset with us?

There seems to be a lot more of Antis talking about us than the other way around, and giving out harsh claims that we are among the rudest and worst shippers around - and then when you take a look around at TJLCers, they hardly mention the Antis, unless they send us an ask, message, etc. With this in mind, if TJLCers rarely engage with haters - seeing how we’ve been “so busy enjoying our little conspiracy” - why would Antis ever believe that we spend more of our time OBSESSING about them, when they’re the ones doing it?

Why has there been so much gnashing of teeth and talk of TJLC from Anti-Johnlockers, and .001% of hate from us? Why is there so little proof that we have been the so-called bullies?

You guys in the screenshots above and anyone else who has proclaimed to have been abused by ANYONE should really be careful about shooting out accusations without proof (because we do take shit like that seriously and it’s insulting to actual victims of harassment should these accusations be fake), and please do ask yourselves: who’s been more obsessed about who does what in their free time?

#tjlc hate #fandom wank #kind of not wank #sherl0lly #petratodd #mae jones #mizj0ely #soyeahso #theleftpill #sherlock #tw: harassment #tl;dr

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cinderspewed · 6 years

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CALLOUT: MUTUALS, BE CAUTIOUS OF YOUR ANONS.

If you’ve been following me for many moons, you know that I have NEVER made a callout post for anything or anyone. I have established myself in such a way, that when I tell someone to leave me alone ( aka: politely fuck off ), they do. I have also befriended the blocking button and have been good at leaving peoples names out of my mouth. Because talking about hurtful people isn’t worth it and usually the problem goes away when you avoid someone. However, my efforts for this particular situation have NOT been fruitful. I will be placing my experience under a read more. Prior to me addressing anything, I wanted to state that I am NOT asking anyone to do anything out of line, not to send anonymous hate, nor to even block a certain person. All I ask is that you be very mindful of the anonymous messages you might receive regarding certain users. Chances are, they probably didn’t send them and the context of the anonymous messages has gotten too out of line for us. You might think “what’s the big deal?” while you’re reading this. The big deal is this: if someone blocks you, you take the hint and leave them alone and you don’t send asks/IMs constantly asking about them no matter how “innocent” they seem.

Once upon a time, I was minding my own business when I noticed a certain user ( @coffeeiisms ) had followed me. They have since then deleted their blog, but at the time, they were sending me asks and IMs. I ignored them, because they were not a mutual and because their character was the type that would receive negative feedback from my own character. While I know Dei can be mean, I don’t LIKE having him be mean if I haven’t really established a connection with someone, because usually people think it reflects the muns feelings, so I ignored it all. It wasn’t until they IMed me asking to write that I politely told them no (x). I went out to get ice cream from the store. And I returned to a string of IMs essentially guilt-tripping me for not wanting to write with them (x). Unfortunately, I did not take screenshots, because I was content with the idea that I would never have to interact with this person EVER again. However, I did copy and paste their words in a skype conversation I was having, as you see in the previous statement. I remember making a post saying you should NEVER guilt trip someone or put them down for not wanting to write with you. To which, my friend Loke ( @loketratan ) messaged me and asked if I was having an issue with, YOU GUESSED IT, coffeeiisms. They were receiving the same kinds of messages from them. Loke was not interested and chose to politely decline as well (x, x). However, they also received guilt-tripping as well (x, x). Again, we didn’t think this would escalate, so we have minimal screenshots, just copy and pasted segments of their IMs to us. At that point, Loke BLOCKED that user. We thought we were finished. Unfortunately, we were not. At that point, coffeeiisms contacted a mutual of Loke and proceeded to, out of the blue, ask if this person knew Loke and explained that they had been blocked by them (x). Then proceeded to call her a jerk. First and foremost, you don’t do that to anyone. If you get blocked, you get over it and move on. You DON’T walk into another users IMs and name drop them like that. You know what you also don’t do? You don’t send someone an anon shaming them for blocking you (x). Which is what coffeeiisms did. It’s not impossible guys; as much as I wish people couldn’t contact you when they’re blocked, they DEFINITELY can. And that’s exactly what they did. And I’m bringing this up for a reason as well ( foreshadowing much? ). Loke and I foolishly assumed that nothing would escalate after this point. Realistically speaking, how often does this even happen? Things seemed pretty quiet. Until another user ( @thepureststar ) happened to follow Loke and then myself. We instantly noticed a pattern. This user also sent an influx of random asks that ultimately went unanswered and they also IMed us wanting to write or just randomly talk. But something suspicious came with these asks. . . We received odd anons asking about particular users. The anons I got were usually about Loke. However, the anons Loke got were usually about me and other users (x, x, x, x, x, x) and consisted of very inappropriate, sexually-charged, romantic-driven questions/commands. And that’s just some of the one’s we SAVED, honey. Some of you may be wondering what the big deal is. Don’t people like to receive anonymous messages regarding connections certain characters have with others? Sure. For the most part. However, you also have to realize some people are NOT comfortable with that attention and they are not comfortable with romantically implied content. Especially when it comes out of the blue. WOW, it’s almost as if I have that somewhere in my rules-. . . Oh wait. I DO. And all you were doing was making me extremely anxious and uncomfortable. But, fuck my feelings right? You think that just because I have you blocked, this doesn’t apply to you. Here’s also another kicker. When people namedrop on anon, some people might think that THAT PERSON was the one who sent the anon in the first place. In other words, if you’re asking someone what they think of cinderspewed on anon, that person might very well assume I might have sent that, because who else really knows me or talks about me with said person? Something peculiar also occurred: thepureststar was also contacting other people in IMs asking if they knew Loke (x). And, WOW. . . Would you look at that? They misspelled Loke’s URL the SAME way coffeeisms did. It’s almost as if-. . . GASP. They were the same person. Spoiler alert. THEY ARE. They also sent other people asks about Loke as well (x), which again were romantically charged. Again, please keep in mind...some people aren’t comfortable with this direct namedropping and attention, especially with people they are just starting to interact with. This gives off a negative impression, as if to imply that all Loke’s character wants is to have sex or get romantically involved with another muse. You obviously know nothing about her portrayal if you assume the mun is that kind of person. Loke had already blocked thepureststar. The similarities were too uncanny to coffeeiisms. In that moment, they had sent a personal blog to send Loke a message asking why they blocked thepureststar. However, we suspect that this personal blog was indeed YOURS, purest. Because, WHAT A COINCIDENCE, it’s deleted too. And thankfully for you, we don’t have the screenshot. Maybe that makes us fools, sure. But we wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt that you would kindly fuck off, leave us alone, and that you would cease your stalking tendencies when you went unanswered and ignored. You purposefully picked people you thought wouldn’t do a damn thing to defend themselves and you should honestly be ASHAMED of yourself. Just because we don’t publicly dismiss you, DOESN’T mean we tolerate you. We were trying to help you SAVE FACE, because we’re not assholes. We’re adults, we know when to put things to rest and move on. But you don’t. The the invasive anonymous messages kept coming ( as displayed previously ). Anything from Loke’s sexuality to who he’s writing with. You even sent me an anon about Loke as well...and then proceeded to send another message off anon just 2 minutes after (x) so I know it’s you. After all. . . I had already answered an ask regarding my thoughts on Loke. . .because Loke was the one who fucking sent it in the first place (x). I blocked you. I blocked your IP. I did it to help you save face, but it seems NOTHING has changed. Despite Loke’s efforts to completely detach from you, your invasive asks still keep coming (x) and we know it’s you, because you’ve asked questions like this before to the person you reference (x).

YOU’RE STALKING LOKE’S BLOG. It’s obvious and it needs to stop. A user who innocently wished Loke a happy birthday even got an anonymous message from you (x). They haven’t even interacted or written with each other yet! So it seems you’ll just hit up anyone just to keep Loke’s name in your mouth. And that’s disgusting. Your asks may seem innocent on the outside, but I see RIGHT through them. It’s almost as if you want to write with her so bad and interact with her. . .that you’re willing to go through other people to live out this facade and just have her respond to you in general. That’s obsessive, that’s extra, and you’re asking so many awkward questions without taking into consideration the person you namedrop’s comfort or Loke’s comfort in general! It’s Loke’s fucking BIRTHDAY today. And she has to wake up to your bullshit. And she has to live through this nightmare all over again, gathering proof to the best of her ability, about yet another stalking incident she’s unfortunately had to endure. I pray that this incident isn’t as severe and serious as the one she had to deal with in real life. I want to think of you as a desperate joke for letting things get this far, letting things get this big. You could have just walked away, but for some reason. . .you latched onto Loke and me. And you honestly found the two worst people to fuck with. So this is just a precaution to everyone. If at any point, you get an anonymous message about Loke or myself or even another mutual that says “do you know so and so?” or anything of that nature. . . All I ask is that you ignore it. That’s it. It’s honestly a simple request. Because I don’t want anyone getting involved with someone who could potentially become obsessed with them and incorporate them into inappropriate asks. I am well aware that we are all doing the same thing, we’re all writing and engaging in a fictional world. . . But we’re also human beings and we also know when to step out of this magic circle of fiction we’ve created. Or rather, we SHOULD. There are rules for a reason and we should all be considerate and mindful. And when someone blocks you. . .we should know NOT to pursue them or try to gain their attention. Because enough is enough. No one deserves to feel anxious over something so immature and petty. And I love my friends too much to see them get affected by this, especially someone as strong and outspoken as Loke. I PRAY I don’t have to make a part two for this. I PRAY we’re done here. I PRAY this is the most minuscule thing I have to ever encounter. Because this isn’t even me being ugly. . . But I damn sure can be.

#▹ ◜𝕍𝔼𝕊𝕌𝕍𝕀𝕌𝕊 𝔼𝕄𝔼ℝ𝔾𝔼𝔻◞ | ooc.#( no fancy formatting. i want this readable for everyone. )#( i honestly am extremely upset that it's had to come to this... but guys. even when you block someone...that doesn't always help. )#( i dont want anyone else to be a victim. just please stay safe. thats all i ask. )#( i can't believe im even making something like this. but enough is e-fucking-nough. don't fuck with me or anyone else. )#tw: callout post #tw: drama

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caiiouts-blog · 7 years

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BEWARE DANGEROUS DEVIANTART USER

! ! ! !

please do not go out and harass the people in this journal. they've decided to leave deviantART for the time being, and could return as a better person.

----

☆ . ☆ . ☆

hello! it's dazai typing this out and I just wanted to let you know that I only felt this was necessary to bring to peoples attention due to the current treatment that has been received over the past few weeks. this is my side of what happened! cass herself has made her side of the story (and it's quite different) and it will be featured at the bottom of the journal.

☆ . ☆ . ☆

----

rylands accounts

(primary) blackbear666 deadmp3 poacherss

(secondary) hellisten autisticgod wolfga-ng prorobloxplayer ashfurrs

Dazai's Version:

Ryland has been an almost extreme experience for me, his unruly behaviour getting more and more out of hand throughout the three years i've known him. he would pretend to be my friend (according to him) out of "pity" (despite feeling no sympathy) for me yet continued to trash-talk me to his ex and a few others, even during while i was venting to him. he's laughed BOTH times my girlfriends left me, picking on me during times like this while PRETENDING TO BE MY FRIEND.

he's leaked my "deadname" to his ex, told secrets about his exes in a malicious manner, promoted teasing of them and he even claimed to have never loved his ex during the last relationship they had together, taking every moment he could to hurt him. he told me that he purposefully put my main kin on his kin list just to get with me because his ex suggested it.. This is a petty way to "get back" at someone imho

around the time he would pick on me with his ex, he created a callout on me claiming things that i was "a fake tranny," and that i "never payed for my commissions," due to me taking my time to pay $18.00 USD despite having payed off around 5-10 artists at the time. due to the way he pressured me I had to put the other commission on hold, cancel his and pay another artist off just to feel safe about the whole situation. Thankfully in the end the commission problems were sorted out.

** in a call, he mentioned that it was (by memory) "silly of him to have done that, and that he understands that I was trying to pay off the larger thing first."

>> I also have the original callout he made on me saved, if anyone would be interested in seeing it. <<

during this time i felt at unease, I noted him mentioning how i was feeling (i was crying, shaking, bloody anxious, etc.) and at this point i wanted to make another account just to get rid of this backlash. i made the mistake of uploading my main character to my new toyhouse which linked to my new account and he used that to comment on my toyhouse AND my deviantart profile with this comment:

let me explain the situation in that comment!

1.) i called him a psychopath lol

2.) i blocked his boyfriend (ex) on my new account (that i avoided showing anyone) in hopes i could have a fresh start. me blocking his boyfriend caused no harm to him, as we apparently were not mutual.

3.) his boyfriend was trying to avoid mentioning that he had shown me his vent account, leading ryland (kaspur) to believe that I was the one that shared his vent account. he later found out that he infact was wrong, and mad enough at his boyfriend to make him suicidal. I don't know the private details, this is what ryland himself told me. 4. he also used this whole "autism diagnosis" against me despite having been undiagnosed / re-evaluated on the diagnosis with his knowledge of such.

/ / / / / / / / ☆ / / / / / / / /

some time passed and things settled down, until he and his ex broke up. i mentioned something about his ex ( i think i was supporting his ex somehow? the comments are hidden / gone ) and he spammed my profile with 4-6 aggressive comments that he's removed recently, all that is left is us having a tense conversation. with this, we decided to add eachother on discord to figure out what kind of situation ryland had been left in, how his ex treated him and began to enjoy talking to eachother once more.

Time passed and we grew closer, eventually dating. It started out smoothly, we cared about eachother and wanted the best for eachother, but as time went on, teasing remarks began to feel more harmful and fights began to occur more often. Ryland would push my buttons, dig into my weaker side of myself (unintentionally or intentionally, i do not know) and it caused me to become very unhealthy. He was assuming how i felt about situations and tried to one-up me. He literally told me that "i dont rely on you for affection, dont rely on you for attention, dont rely on you for help" and how "I'll dedicate time to Cass, preserve every conversation I had with her," Due to this, I began to get very disconnected with myself and needed proper treatment for the situation I was in. he vented about me and how he "hated me" during our relationship. He even ASKED ME TO ABUSE HIM. LOOK AT THIS:

https://sta.sh/2ejxr4mb7l9?edit=1

and to add the icing on the cake, he would threaten to slit my wrists if I ignored him, and if it was meant to be some kind of sick joke, he made it sound very serious with the tone he used it in.

Can I just mention that.. if you ask someone to do something, it usually means they haven't done it, right? Not only this, but (while he was drunk) he was begging me to have sex with him, tried to pressure me into having sexual conversations with him because "I did with my other girlfriends" and wouldn't stop bringing it up during that night, it hurt me. And what hurts me more is that these conversations happened in a no longer existing groupchat meaning the most I can give you guys is my word.

Not to mention, cass' therapists have mentioned that ryland comes off to them as an abusive, controlling and sometimes even predatory person. One of them even referred Cass this document as something they feel connects with ryland:

/ / / / / / / / ☆ / / / / / / / /

For the past few weeks, ryland has been venting about me in group-chats and pm, as well as making very malicious status posts targeting (and name-dropping) both cass and i.

screenshots of his vents

- Ryland has yet to state what makes him believe I gas-lighted him and abused him, only claims these two titles. i'm still waiting for his reasoning behind these claims ***

- I'm not a Satanist, I do not have any beliefs in religious-related subjects, and never have been. I've questioned it, but in the end never went along with it

- "im more mature with situations like fights" ... that doesn't seem evident in the multiple times you have:

Spammed various people's profiles with hateful messages and deaththreats

Using a wide array of slurs (whore, nigga, cunt) against people

Making fun of their diagnosis's and coping methods, such as autism or age regression

- We decided to leave Ryland because he was making us unhealthy

- Ryland has NO RIGHT to assume what happened in my relationships, there was no pressure involved in any of my relationships

- The problems I 'pressured' him for were ones RELATING TO THE RELATIONSHIP. It was ideal for me to know the problems someone may have with me in hopes to change to make them comfortable and healthier.

*** this is the only thing he uses to back his claims.

"i talked to a therapist someone who KNOWS WHAT IT IS and what abuse is n shit"

/ / / / / / / / ☆ / / / / / / / /

This is a link of him harassing people, spamming people as well as dictating emotions..

extra information

Also, some texts he sent to cass which concerned me.

Cass's Version:

This is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done ;_; because I have never done this to someone before and I hope I never do this again. He was my best friend and I cared for him. But I'm sick and tired of being harassed, name dropped, etc, just because I left him to better myself. I'm sick of him making me look like an awful person just because I left. He makes my mistakes look like the worst thing that has ever happened to him. He won't leave us alone and I don't want to be walked all over by him anymore, not again.

He manipulates the truth:

Last year, Ryland was so stressful to handle.

After I left him, he made a massive call out journal on me. Because I stopped being his friend. Let that sink in, I stopped being his friend. He called me his best friend, he even said to me that I was "better than Nichii" (now known as Dazai) and you know, you don't fucking attack your so called 'best friend' after they leave you, all I did was stop being his friend.

"Oh but he was your bestfriend! Why are you calling him out?!" He won't shut the fuck up about us, he won't leave us alone. He is so spiteful.

Even if Ryland was going through so much at that time, I needed to look after myself. I don't owe him my friendship. I DON'T owe him anything. I was also going through a hard time, I was being bullied at school but oh, I guess your problems were more important then my problems. I was dealing with my own shit, I didn't have to keep babying you because I was so special to you.

I know I don't owe you anything. I did tell him that I felt like I owed him something (I don't remember the exact thing I said) but even if I did say that I owed him something, I don't.

When I was his friend last year it stressed me so much, the counselors I went too could see how our friendship was hurting my mental health... it was just unhealthy what we were and I acted differently because it was affecting my mental health so much. They wanted me to leave him. He kept calling me 'perfect' and a lot of other things, it's been a year so I don't quite remember things clearly but that is one of the things that stuck with me. Everything he said to me made me feel like I had to be the perfect friend for him, I had to be like some sort of knight in shining armor. So I acted differently towards him. I let him walk all over me. I let him hurt me (unintentionally / intentionally?) just so I can be good enough for him.

He didn't force me to act differently, but it's the impact he had on me. I was so depressed, I had to be perfect. I had to be the best just for him. I couldn't do it.

Everyone around me was literally telling me to leave him INCLUDING my therapists, that really says something right? Everyone saw who he really was except me because I considered him my FRIEND.

So back to the massive call out post on me, because of the things he said about me on that call out are now the reason why I think I'm such an awful person,(and because I used to be bulliedl) I know I'm not. He demonized me. He made himself look like an angel. I did do stupid things out of emotion but he did way worse to me, he attacked me, he made himself look like he did nothing bad and I was just some evil person.

Sadly, I didn't screenshot / save anything about the journal (my friends have witnessed it and they all called it bullshit because everything he said about me was false and they are the people who truly know who I am) but I do have a comment which is still up on his old account which is basically all the things he said about me but not as bad.

https://comments.deviantart.com/4/39888493/4226447654

-He was previously known as Kaspur

Okay, first of all I did not leave him over a bee.

I left him because of how depressed he made me(he was tearing at my mental health unintentionally) and everyone(including therapists) told me to leave him. So, I did. I shouldn't of said "it will be okay" it was stupid of me to do, but I was panicking. HE WAS SPAMMING MY PAGE, HE WAS SPAMMING ME ON SKYPE, HE WOULDN'T STOP, WHAT THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSE TO DO?

I do not hurt people intentionally, I never want to hurt people. Everyone who knows me knows that I don't. He never knew me! He really should fucking stop assuming how people felt. He isn't right just because he says it, he never knew how I felt and he still does this to this very day. YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW OTHERS FEEL.

You know what, I did leave him for a month because I needed personal space at that time I was not 'trying to get the fuck away from him'. He was unbelievably dependent on me and I couldn't handle it, I couldn't even handle myself, so how the hell was I suppose to handle him?

He made it seem like I made him be so 'attached' and so 'clingy'. I did nothing. I knew what I was to him but that doesn't mean shit. That doesn't mean I have to stay and be his friend. I am not obligated to be his friend just because he felt like that towards me. Leaving him doesn't make me a bad person.

"I told him i WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU"

He asked me to promise him that I would not leave him. That is unhealthy. I remember the day very clearly because it made me feel uneasy. I did say those things but I felt very very pressured into doing so. I mean, if someone who relied on you heavily asked you that, how would you react? "I can't promise you that I can stay forever/ I can't promise you I won't leave."

"when he gave his opinion about a friend coming back to me (she left me for 5 months and i didnt know why) I TOTALLY DIDNT LISTEN TO HIM! HIS OPINION DOESNT MATTER RIGHT?!!?"

How dare you assume my personal situation you barely knew anything about. I wasn't going to leave my best friend just because you told me too. She did not hurt me like how you hurt me.

Also, by the way, if your friend hurt/upset you and you vent about how you feel at that moment, that doesn't make it a fucking back stab. We all say things at the heat of the moment, and I suppose what Ryland did back then was 'heat of the moment' but it was a major overreaction. I remember he'd talk about it for months, he terrified me. You don't DEMONIZE someone you called your 'best friend' just because they leave you.

He also harassed me. He spammed my fucking profile. He still does this to people. I know he spammed his ex. I still have those screenshots. He used multiple accounts. He made 3 new accounts just to keep spamming me.

https://xxcasandraloverxx.deviantart.com/

http://xxcasandrasenpaixx.deviantart.com/

http://xxcasandrasuckedmexx.deviantart.com/

I was in a call with my best friend at that moment and I was crying my eyes out! He saw all the things they said about me he helped me hide the comments because there was so much.

Overall, he and his friends used 12 accounts just to spam me. Pathetic. Here's the accounts because I reported it:

(lol dazai was one of them xD abuse)

+ the fact that he used my real name to create three of these spam accounts made me feel absolutely terrible

If anyone wants proof of the spam, I'll gladly give it to you. I have it saved on my old phone.

This was last year but from what I and Dazai can tell, he has barely improved and has gotten worse. He STILL manipulates situations into something more 'evil' then what they really were.

Me and Dazai would call and play minecraft but we kept it from him because we didn't want to make him jealous, he was very jealous about me and Dazai being friends.

So we were all in a call together and after I went to bed, Dazai accidentally told him that we had been calling and playing minecraft and Ryland makes it out that this is one of the terrible things Dazai has done. He lied about playing minecraft with me.

In a journal he said this, "38. What happened? we dated. i got lied to three times. he made me look like the bad guy cus i was mad at him for lying. he left me. haha, so what was that mr "i love ryland" thnx 4 faking it"

He made you look like the bad guy? You made yourself look like the bad guy, you overreacted to him not telling you that we played minecraft together. Like, you lie yourself, you told me you lied about our friendship or whatever the fuck you mean't a few months ago. So... you can lie, but if we lie we're the worst person to have ever existed? Grow up. Just because you're 13 doesn't give you an excuse to act immature. Sure, it plays a roll because you're young but... you know what you do is bad and you STILL DO IT. You're nearly 14.

----

The counselors/therapists I've gone to ALL say he's manipulative and they all think he's a predator. I tell/show them what he has said to me and that's what they have all said. All (I'm not exaggerating) of the therapists don't even believe he is 13 because of the way he acts. My recent therapist thinks what he did to me was a "power and control thing" and she said he is very manipulative.

She read them out loud to me and I was shocked because some of them were spot on for example: Minimize/deny/blame

The descriptions under the headlines are just examples of what someone could do.

He DEFINITELY minimizes the things he has done wrong since he's done it with me(you can see it up there), he did it with Dazai (look at his side of the story) and I'm sure he does it with everyone who wrongs him.

-He knows he does bad things but, he never changes? He told me he didn't want to change.

-He blamed the things he did to Dazai on his ex.

I didn't want to believe any of it, he was my friend. I didn't want to believe he was manipulative. I was ignorant because I was blinded by the fact that he was my friend. I know he isn't intentionally manipulative, or at least, I hope he isn't intentionally manipulative. But IT'S HIS PERSONALITY. Dazai KNOWS HIM. You don't want to see the bad in your friend, ya know? You support your friends. Now that I left him for good and I'm with healthier people, I can finally see who he really is and I regret supporting him.

---

I'll repeat this: He is sometimes unintentionally manipulative but he does have control over what he does.

He told me things like this multiple times:

but as soon as I want too, he pulls stuff like this:

He begged me, I don't want to show it all because it fucks me up but if I really have too I will. I asked him to not beg me but he still kept begging!

That really pressured me. It made me feel like shit. It made me feel so guilty for leaving you which shouldn't happen.

He lied to me saying it was okay, and then he tried to manipulate me into staying with him. Those screenshots really explain themselves. I nearly stayed too despite it putting SO MUCH PRESSURE ON ME, I was crying so much, it hurt my chest, I was about to have a panic attack, it was awful.

I didn't stay because Dazai helped me through it, and I'm glad I didn't stay because our friendship was fucking me up.

One time he called me selfish for trying to stop him from committing suicide(he apologized but that isn't the point of this) and this is what my friend said about it:

-------

Ryland checks up on us.

We check up on him. I'm not going to lie, I do check up on him. He's out to get us. He makes me so anxious. I'm scared he's going to ruin my reputation like he did with me last year! and with so many people just because they leave him or because they 'gaslight/manipulate him'. DAZAI IS NOT MANIPULATIVE. Dazai is no where NEAR manipulative! Dazai is honestly the kindest soul I've ever met. He has helped me and my friend Sky through a lot, and I'm really glad I met such a kind person like him. Many other people can say the same and it's really fucking weird how only one person on earth thinks differently about both of us!

You don't know us. You're just really fucking upset because me and him are friends and you sure love to try to get back at us for enjoying each others company. How malicious.

We have our heads up OUR ASSES? how fucking hilarious.

HOW DO YOU NOT SEE HOW MANIPULATIVE YOU ARE, IS YOUR HEAD SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU CAN'T GET OUT?

You treated DAZAI LIKE SHIT.

You manipulated me. You pressured me. You made a call out on me BECAUSE I STOPPED BEING YOUR FRIEND. You've done HORRIBLE stuff to me, Dazai and your other 'abusive' ex.(more on that later) If anything, calling me a bitch is a compliment. Thank you. YOU'RE TOXIC.

Dazai is not manipulative, that is not who he is. You fucking told me he was manipulating me but you have no proof? I know why Dazai acted the way he did and what he did to you isn't as bad as you make it out to be. Sure, he did stupid things but you make it out like it's the worst fucking thing he's ever done in his life. NOBODY deserves to be demonized for minor / HUMAN mistakes. You demonize the living shit out of people just because they leave you.

proof who? He's manipulating me because I... think he's a good person? He does not treat me like how you treated me.

I'm sure Dazai mentioned this in his side of the story so I'm going to say this: He acted differently around you because of how awfully you treated him, he was not himself and he wanted to leave. You do NOT know Dazai. It is not an excuse, but it is the impact you had on him. You made him unhealthy by the way you treated him, intentionally or not, you still did and you fucking knew you were treating him poorly. You hint it yourself in a meme journal you wrote here;

"49. What do you regret: reacting the way i did

50. Why? cus i would be with the person i love right now lol?"

SO YOU MUST KNOW YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG!

And you know what Ryland? You're not my second choice, your not even my last choice! I'll never pick you! Not anymore at least. You always wanted to one up Dazai! You made me feel so freaking pressured to leave him just because you wanted to be better then him. I felt like I had to tell you that 'you're better' and other things just to comfort you. You depended on me and I felt like there was no other option, I didn't know what to say that would make you feel better! Sure, it might've not been your intention to do that but you still made me feel very pressured.

"i will always be that friend u have in the background while u r playing doll with ur other friends but when they leave you, you come to me"

EXCUSE ME? E X C U S E M E? YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW I FELT ABOUT YOU. STOP FUCKING ASSUMING HOW I FELT TOWARDS YOU. I have NEVER came back to you when my friends leave me. You're fucking gross, how DARE YOU. YOU DON'T KNOW ME. That is not who I am. I try my best to talk to EVERYONE even when I am facing my own problems. STOP TRYING TO BE BETTER THEN MY FRIENDS. YOU'RE NOT BETTER THEN THEM. You are probably THE WORST friend I've EVER HAD. Not even the friends I had petty childhood fights with treat me like that! and that's saying a lot.

AND JUST IN CASE HE MENTIONS THIS I'LL JUST SAY IT: I swear to god if you mention how "I left that one friend because I was jealous" yeah, I did. I don't want to get into detail because it is irrelevant but I didn't want to hurt her anymore then I have, I wasn't handling myself well and so I left her. You even told me to leave her. I care a lot about her still and I know for a fact I won't act the way I did again. I've learnt from my mistake. You don't know the full story between me and her. Yeah I told you 'bits' and 'pieces' but you don't know how we felt. So just fuck off before you mention it, you really really love to assume things so I wouldn't be surprised if he mentions this situation with some diluted bullshit.

You're disgusting Ryland for assuming I'd do that. I don't know how I supported and even loved someone like you.

You are not fucking mature when it comes to fights stop trying to make yourself this fucking angel, you're the most immature 13 year old I've ever met. My brothers your age too and he thinks your really immature. You make NO SENSE.

You also do not know how I handle my friends either, so like, just fuck off? I'm sorry that my mental health / care for the other person is important to me? NOT EVERYBODY ACTS LIKE YOU RYLAND. You made me so FUCKING DEPRESSED and you couldn't fix that. You can't fix it. I've always felt like that around you. Just because I leave someone does not mean they were worthless to me. So shut the fuck up, seriously. You do not know how me and Dazai handle things, we handle our situations very differently then yours, just saying.

I'll repeat this again; I do not owe you my friendship. No matter how depressed, weak, whatever you feel, I don't have to be your friend.

I really should not have come back to you all those 4 times I felt bad. I knew you were dependent on me that is why I kept coming back. I couldn't say no to you and I don't know why. I enjoyed our friendship of course, but there were more negatives in our friendship then positives. You said it in a bunch of statuses before, how you can't function without me and other things about me. I got those screen shoted.

But, like you said to me:

My kindness does blind me. I gave you the benefit of the doubt all this time. I thought you were a good person despite you proving it otherwise constantly.

---

Stop assuming how I felt throughout our friendship.

Stop assuming how I handle my friendships.

I handle situations differently to yours so SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Stop fucking assuming how I feel! Just because I tell you something doesn't mean it's the whole story! You are malicious.

I don't like you.

I want you to get the fuck away from me, I want you to shut the fuck up about me, I never want to be in contact with you AGAIN. I'll never ever come back to you like I have stupidly done those 4 times, I did it because I cared about you but fuck that. You obviously never cared about me since you treat me like shit after I leave. You're so fucking spiteful and full of revenge it'd be healthier if you just move on and learn from your mistakes. You almost never do.

You CONSTANTLY complain about things you can fix about yourself, I CAN'T HELP YOU WHEN ALL YOU DO IS WHINE AND NOT WANT TO CHANGE.

I'm also reconsidering the situation with your ex Sage, because I know now that you make issues look more sinister then they really are. I know he did some stupid shit, but were they really that fucking terrible? I'd honestly like to hear his side of the story since we never got to hear it.

If what me and Dazai did was bad, the things he's done to us is worse.

I'm done with you Ryland.

#callout #deviantart #beware

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alexanderwrites · 7 years

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Tim Heidecker & Neil Hamburger @ Soho Theatre Review - 21/8/17

Tim Heidecker starts his 40 minute set in the cramped downstairs lounge of the Soho Theatre with two minutes of physical comedy - he wrestles frustratedly with the microphone and its stand, desperately trying to fit the mic into its holder and aim it at his mouth. It’s an easy task, but Heidecker makes it look like the most physically challenging action a person can undertake. It’s such an hilariously incompetent way to start a show, and it’s a bit that has some of that Story of Everest sketch from Mr Show formula in its blood - the longer it goes on, the funnier it gets. And the more painful it gets, the funnier it gets. The microphone swings wildly at the end of its cable, sometimes coming within inches of audience members, at other times crashing loudly to the wooden floor. As well as feeling dangerous and unorthodox, its a test of endurance, and like the rest of his and Turkington’s set, it dares you to keep laughing at it. It’s comedy that is so furiously funny that you have no choice but to keep laughing. Heidecker, getting progressively furious and demanding the music be turned off, is a master of playing a character that is completely losing control, as is Turkington.

The concept of a lack of control is at the centre of the two sets. Heidecker’s routine is a terrifyingly accurate parody of those terrible, right-wing “i’m anti-PC!” comedians - his ugly leather jacket, unflattering dad jeans and sweat stained shirt make his character look like a stressed out alcoholic who is furious at his audience. “I say to people ‘I’m a comedian’, they say ‘what, like Tim Allen’, and I say “OOOOUUGGH?”, is one of his opening lines, a line that references Tim Allen’s, erm, catchphrase - a reference so dated and awful that it could’ve come from Tim Allen himself. Heidecker has such a perfectly tuned ear for how this kind of person talks, a catchphrase spouting, self-praising blowhard who spends most of his set talking about how twisted his mind is. It’s such a perfect distillation of a comic blowing their own set through anger and incompetence, and aside from being jaw-achingly funny, it actually has something to say about the hypocrisy and foolishness of a very specific brand of white male comedians who mistake their own anger for edginess, and mistake that edginess for something that people would actually want to hear.

Early on in the set, he asks “What do you call this, London? England?”, at which point he makes direct eye contact with me. I nod, and he angrily says “you’re just nodding, which fucking one is it?”. Being the target of his frustration would be uncomfortable if it wasn’t so unbelievably funny. The audience members are hostages, and his inability to interact with them successfully keeps us at gunpoint. Because it feels so loose and purposefully sloppy, it has a feeling of anything-goes mayhem which makes it funny in such an immediate and urgent sense. At one point, he looks down at my girlfriend who has been laughing through the entire set, and for no apparent reason asks “Are you alright?”, in a kind of “What the fuck is wrong with you, why are you laughing?” voice. When she says yes, he pulls a face that’s hard to describe, and is best illustrated by using this screenshot from Heidecker’s web short Tim’s Cook Off:

Later, someone says something quietly in the audience, to which he loses his temper and insists on restarting his interminably pointless story about a movie theatre (”I went to the movies last week, we saw....uh...Superman”) that had Pepsi instead of Coke. He curses himself, and gets angrier and angrier as he routinely blows the most simple of “punchlines”, and like the microphone that he couldn’t put onto its stand, it gets funnier and funnier the more he misses. His crowd-work ranges from almost non-jokes (he walks over to me and says “Lets talk to the guy with the hair, I love it! What’s your name? Alexander? Alexander the Great! Here we go!”), to defeatist and aggressive (”Kyle? I have nothing for that name, you understand that? You’ve given me fucking nothing”), which all manages to be funnier than most comedians’ actual jokes.

Fans of his work will know how funny he can be physically, and he puts that on display when regaling the audience with a story about his wife dragging him to the opera. His face when describing his anger is the kind of face that he does so well, the kind that has spawned endless GIFs across the internet - clenched teeth, face trembling in thunderous anger, head twitching to the side - it is such an hysterically unfitting over-reaction to the situation, and it develops this horrible character that he’s playing: someone with a whole bunch of misplaced, impotent fury. The story ends with him saying he jumped from his seat, leant towards the stage and screamed “SHUT THE FUCK UUUUPPP!!!??!” at the performers. And he claims this story received a ten-minute standing ovation at his last show, implying that we were rude not to do the same.

The bit is a perfect distillation of who this character is: the loudest man on earth with the worst, most toxic opinions, who thinks he’s brave for saying what everyone else is supposedly “afraid to say”. Throughout Heidecker’s career, no matter how surreal and abstract his work has gotten, it shouldn’t be forgotten that what he really is is a satirist. Whether he’s making fun of late night talk shows, right-wing-targeted action TV programmes or self-important male comedians, what he really is - and what his set really demonstrates - is that he is one of the best satirists in comedy.

And so is Gregg Turkington, whose set as Neil Hamburger follows Heidecker. If Heidecker’s persona is someone desperately trying to hold on to some semblance of control, Hamburger is Heidecker in another 10 years: off script, off the road, and wallowing in chaos. There is no control whatsoever with this person. His comedy is Andy Kaufman-esque, playing with the basic form of comedy itself. Some people have described this style as “anti-humour”, which is a term i’ve never been fond of. Turkington isn’t anti-comedy: he clearly loves it, and is bending it and twisting it to his own unique style. He doesn’t subvert typical comedy by resisting it - he subverts it by taking typical comedy and channelling it through an abrasive, ugly man in the middle of a meltdown.

It isn’t anti-comedy, because the comedy and the material is there - although in some senses, it’s not really the material that matters: it’s the performance. You can go and see Hamburger for the jokes, but what his shows are really about is a man who clearly has such a disastrous personal life that it has seeped into his work, and now his show - and his hair - all drip with booze and fear. Some bits don’t even have clearcut punchlines, because he is this joke. When he tells jokes about Gene Simmons, the thing that is funniest about it isn’t the punchline, it’s the progression towards it. He starts by calling him “Leeeegendary” and showering him with superlatives, but somehow over the course of his rambling, his descriptions of Gene Simmons have turned to “Physically disgusting, repugnant, worthless singer...”. Like the Heidecker character, the anger inside this man is turning all of his jokes into assaults, and if someone dares to boo or shout “That’s stupid”, which someone does after a bit about Ozzy Osbourne biting the head off a cooked chicken, he snarls “No it isn’t, because it’s true to life”.

Moments of clarity in his character like that are some of the funniest, and that clarity is deftly juxtaposed with convoluted absurdity - and there is a kind of genius in how he balances both in his stories. One, for example, is about a joke Paul McCartney told while judging a contest for charity. The story about the contest rambles on with a fair amount of reasoning and believability, and this in itself is funny - the idea of this drunk, wet haired, comb-overed, phlegm-clearing old insult comic being at some sort of contest with Paul McCartney - and finding it delightful - is a deeply funny image because it places this nightmare in front of you in the real world. And then, he twists it into another absurd direction where suddenly nothing makes sense, when he nonchalantly reveals that it was a pissing contest that he was judging. For charity. And that’s not even the punchline, but it might as well be. (The punchline is that Paul McCartney, when choosing a winner - after seeing 150 contestants - said ‘Peed Best!).

His references are largely ancient and esoteric - they’re jokes that’d require you to know specifically about the works of bands like the Grateful Dead, and whether you do or do not doesn’t matter - it’s the seeming disgust and discomfort he seems to have in his own material and his own being that is key to his work. After a more current joke about Linkin Park earns encouraged groans from the audience, it’s his disbelief that anyone could find it distasteful that is the biggest laugh. “Don’t worry, i’m sure they’ll keep making shitty music for you and your shitty friends”, he says, seeming to hate everyone in the room for not liking him, as well as hating himself for putting himself in this situation. With a lesser performer, it could be simply unpleasant, but with Turkington, it’s that unpleasantness that makes it kind of funny, and, to paraphrase Tears for Fears, kind of sad. Under all the nastiness, there is something human and tuned-in about these guys that stops them from being simple exercises in irony. There is an ugly, human truth in them that’s as tragic as it is hilarious. There’s almost a bit of sympathy in there, too.

A very good movie came out a couple of years ago called Entertainment, a surreal road movie where Turkington plays himself and Hamburger, and the influences in that movie make it clear where he is getting his influences from: all over America. Hamburger is a great amalgam of old, dusty comedians in darkened barrooms who refuse to alter their personality despite it doing them no good, and self-sabotaging losers that live in Tom Waits songs. Hamburger’s and Heidecker’s personas come directly from these types of people, and they are worthy and potently funny portraits of these broken rejects. Moreover, the show as a whole says more about comedy than most documentaries about comedy do. They are trapped in a past that never really was, where they’re certain this material would kill. Heidecker and Turkington, in real life, do kill in Soho. They do the seemingly impossible and control the uncontrollable, masterfully managing their sets while still allowing them to feel chaotic. They put on an exciting show of two halves which compliment each other beautifully, and as well as being smart, on point, and terrific performances, they are uniquely and fiercely hilarious.

Oh, and Tim is a really nice guy, too.

Heidecker and Turkington (or Hamburger, if you like) are playing at the Soho Theatre in London until 2nd September, and you can and really should get tickets here.

#tim heidecker #gregg turkington #neil hamburger #comedy #comedy review #soho #soho theatre #tim and eric #standup comedy

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